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A couple days had passed since everything went down, and though Carl can move around without help now, he's still in a fuck tonne of pain. Nobody had seen Debbie since she took Franny to school that morning, and Carl was starting to worry. It's not the first time she's disappeared without a word. However, with everything that happened, Carl is still on high alert and can't help but worry about the state his sister is probably in. He knows she'll be back; she always is, but that doesn't change the fact that her daughter is sat waiting around for her mother to show up just like the rest of them did when Monica would take off.
He feels terrible comparing Debbie to Monica. After all, she's not some, off her meds, mentally ill junkie, but he can't help but see some similarities. He just hopes she'll get it together before Franny goes through the same shit they did.
He still hadn't spoken to Lip since all the shit he'd said to him though Carl thinks that's probably for the best. He doesn't think he could handle that right now, especially with how his mind seems to be so against him recently.
His train of thought is broken by Franny tapping him on the knee.
"Uncle Carl? When is mommy coming back? She promised to play superheroes. She said I can be Thor, look I made the hammer!"
She looks soo hopeful and excited while showing Carl the hammer made out of toilet paper holder rolls and tinfoil. He knows that even once she's back, Debbie won't play with Franny. The only time she's interested in her daughter is when she's using her as a trophy, forcing her to live a life Debbie never could.
"Holy shit Fran that's amazing. Did you make it yourself?"
"Uncle Liam helped a little bit, but I made most of it and decorated it by myself!"
"Well, it looks awesome. How about this? I'll play superheroes with you later. I've just got a couple things to do first; sound good?"
"Yeahhhh! I'll make your costume ready; you can be Loki!"
"Can't wait!" With that, Carl watches Franny run upstairs to go make his costume out of god knows what.
Carl has been searching the streets for his sister for the last 3 hours with no luck; it feels exactly the same as when he would go searching for Frank during a bender when he was younger. Realistically he knows it's not the same as with Frank. There was always a slight guilty hope that he was actually gone, for good, maybe. Whereas, with Debs, it's the hope that she isn't. He was always so against the way Fiona would treat Debbie when she decided she was keeping Franny. Maybe she had a point; he loves Fran, he really does, but she always deserved better than, this, than what we had. He still thinks Fiona went about it the wrong way, but he knows she meant well; she always did.
Just as he's about to give up and go back to play with Franny like he promised, he notices the poorly concealed red hair ducking into a nearby alleyway.
Sighing to himself, he looks down briefly and starts walking towards it.
"Debs? 's that you?"
"Carl? What are you doing here! You're gonna get me caught- Shit get down here quick!"
"Woah? Hey!" Carl is caught off guard when Debbie pulls him behind a dumpster. As it seems that they're hiding, he thinks it's best to whisper.
"Debbie, what the fuck is going on? And would you not pull me about; I'm already in fucking pain!"
"What? Why? You know what, that's not important right now you can tell me later. We're hiding from a woman I picked up last night; she noticed I lifted her purse before I managed to leave. Chased me like 5 blocks crazy bitch."
"Right yeah, she's the crazy one, not the girl who's risking prison over a few bucks when she has a kid at home! You need to sort your fucking priorities out, Debs."
"Fuck you, Carl, it's not like any of you selfish fucks are gonna lend me money, and I need to feed that child that you just so kindly threw in my face!"
"Selfish? Debbie, I've paid your half of the rent for the last 4 fucking months, and we all make sure Franny always has food on the table and clothes that fit as well as family to support her. You became an adult the second you decided to have the brilliant kid who's currently waiting at home, ready to play fucking superheroes with you. Start acting like a fucking mother; she's not some toy you can discard when you're bored. She sees the world through rose-tinted glasses right now, just try and keep it that way a while longer."
"Why do you keep throwing this shit back in my face?! I said I would pay you back. And I will!"
"IT'S NOT ABOUT THE FUCKING MONEY! I am telling you that you have NO right to call us selfish when we always go out of our way for you, hell we see your daughter more than you do! And maybe if you were around even a little bit, you'd already know that the other day Franny could have been seriously hurt! I was attacked when we were both at the park, luckily she ran home and got Mick and Ian."
"What the fuck did you do putting my daughter in danger?!"
"You know what, fuck you, Debbie, that kid deserves better than you for a mother, we'd know. Right? Growing up with two deadbeats ourselves-"
Carl doesn't even get the chance to finish before he feels a sharp sting on his cheek, his eyes back on Debbie looking closer to an active volcano than his sister.
Seeming to forget why she's hiding in the first place, Debbie is up in an instant storming out of the alley but not before turning back to Carl with a vindictive look on her face.
"You always act like you've got your shit together, kind of like Fiona in that respect and both chasing after something you'll never have. For her, it was stability and a partner, but you? The thing you chase but will never get is a family who actually wants you. Born a psychopath and grew up to be a dumbass with no future. But yeah, I'm the crazy one."
Before he can even comprehend what she said, she's gone, and he's left behind once again. Carl wonders if even after, this she'll go home to her daughter; he doubts it.
He doesn't know why exactly, but suddenly it feels hot and lightheaded, and, can't seem to expand his lungs enough to let oxygen in. Yet all he can think about is the fact that Debbie's right. They don't care. Who is he kidding? They literally visited him in juvie 3 times over the 11 months he was there. If they had, they'd have seen what he went through while inside. His brain feels, fuzzy; like he can't grasp a single comprehensive thought. All he knows is that his breaths are coming in short, and he can barely see what's ahead of him instead, seeing flashes of something he can't make out. He's not even sure when he sat on the floor against the wall.
He starts to feel like he's going to pass out when someone grabs his shoulder, though not expecting the sudden company or contact, he flinches. The sudden movement making the pain in his ribs that much more prominent, with the strain on his lungs not helping either. A voice brings his focus back in sounding calming, grounding.
"Carl, can you hear me? I won't touch you again, ok? I promise. I need you to listen, ok? I think you're having a panic attack; I need you to follow what I'm doing. Do you understand?"
He does so nods Carl nods for him to continue.
"Ok, I'm going to ask you some questions to give you something else to focus on, and I'm going to need a verbal answer. Can you tell me your name?"
Carl knows the answer. Of course, he does. Yet telling his brain to say it is another matter when he can't fucking breathe.
"Ok, let's try something else first and build up to that. Erm, ok, I want you to follow my breathing. When I breathe in, so do you as with breathing out."
Carl does as told. For the next few minutes, he does as told. Eventually, his heart rate slows, and his breath becomes less stuttered.
"Ok, I'm going to ask the questions again, ok? What's your name?"
"C-carl."
"Great, you're doing great. What about me? Do you remember my name?" Carl can hear the flex of hope in his voice but thinks nothing of it.
"Yeah, Leo, Leo Donovan."
"Ok, can you tell me what day it is?"
"Wednesday? No Thursday."
"Carl, It's Friday. Ok, last question. DO you wanna come mine and get high? You look like you could use it."
Carl looks embarrassed at the realisation that it is indeed Friday, but it's quickly forgotten at the prospect of getting high. Then he remembers he's meant to go and play with Franny. Her mum has already disappointed her, he doesn't want to do the same.
"Thanks for the offer, dude, really, but I sort of promised my niece I'd be home soon to play with her."
"It doesn't have to be right now. We could meet up later if you like?"
"You know what sounds good; obviously, I already have your number, so I'll text you when I'm on my way, and you can send to address?"
With that, they part ways, and Carl heads home, both hoping Debbie is and isn't there.
Once Carl walks through the door of the Gallagher house, he's met with furious-looking Lip and a smug-looking Debbie, which never bodes well for him.
"I just heard something fucking hilarious. Shocked me a little because I thought - my little brother wouldn't possibly say something like that to our sister- and I swear to god I'd better be right."
"Wow... Really wanted to get here first, huh, Debbie. Go on then, what bullshit is she spewing now and make it quick I need some pain killers before going to go and play with Franny."
Carl is clearly done with both of their shit. But he's not lying; his ribs are killing because of what happened in the alley.
"You can drop the fucking attitude. Did you or did you not call Debbie a bad mother then proceed to compare her to Monica and Frank?"
"What do you mean like you compared me to Frank? Get off your fucking high horse, Lip. She; doesn't care about anyone but herself, and neither do you; you wanna know why I said that? I'm not gonna deny it. I said; both of those things. It's because she is. She risks prison for a quick buck, palms, Franny, off on the first person available all the fucking time. Has been living rent-free for months, yet this bitch dares to call all of us selfish. You know, for someone so smart, Lip, you're a fucking ignorant prick. You think I'm such an awful brother? Fine! Debbie, pay your own rent for the foreseeable future. I'm not doing it. If you can't, you leave. Franny has security here. I'll make sure of it, but you? You're on your own. Lip, help her, don't help her, I don't care, but the next time you slip up, I'm telling Tami because fuck you, you judgmental fuck!"
Carl hears a floorboard creak turning towards the stairs; he's met with the shocked but almost proud? Looks from Ian and Mickey; unfortunately, Carl is now too wired to care. He pushes past Lip heading into the kitchen to get the pain killers, dry swallows them, and heads back through. He's just about to go and look for Franny when he hears the still smug voice of Debbie.
"Fine, you wanna play like that? Stay away from Franny. You don't play with her, talk to her, even look at her. She can think you hate her for all I care. Just stay away."
Carl can't describe what he's feeling right this second; he's pissed, heartbroken, and drained all in one.
"Oh yeah? You're gonna drop her off and pick her up from school every day, are you? Are you gonna take her to her karate class every Friday at 5? Best hurry, it starts in an hour; do you even know where it is?"
"I'll just get someone else to help if needed; you're not important Carl, when are you gonna realise it?"
Carl is about to reply when Ian speaks up.
"If you think you're gonna get help from Mickey and me while you're acting like an ungrateful bitch you've got another thing coming. Maybe Lip will help you, but you won't find it here. The fact that you're willing to cause your daughter emotional distress to make a point you have no right making is disgusting. Carl is right. You are like Monica and Frank."
Lip hasn't said a word since Carl went off at him; he looks conflicted yet still set in his way.
"I am so fucking done getting attacked by you and Lip; you both have a victim complex the size of the damn moon. Just stay out of my way, and I'll stay out of yours. And I'll hang out with Franny whenever I damn well please, so fuck you."
Carl doesn't wait for a reply; he just leaves, slamming the door behind him, messaging Leo as he does. He knows it'll probably disappoint Franny, but he'll make it up to her he just needed out of that damn house before he freaked out again.