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What is falling in love? Falling in love has become one of the best moments in life. The feeling of your heart fluttering when you see them smile or the feeling of worry as if you were one body when they have fallen ill. Falling in love was the beginning of a phase, but many people treat it like it’s a game that can be restarted.
Well technically, they’re not wrong. You can always restart a game when you haven’t gone too far into the storyline. Or if things do not go the way they like it, they have to learn to not make the same choices again. Right?
Falling in love is different for many people. Examples are always given.
To Childe, falling in love is the feeling of always taking care of your lover. To always cherish them and spend every moment with them.
To Zhongli, falling in love is a new feeling all over again. When was the last time he had fallen in love? He didn’t remember. But… this feeling… he likes it.
To Kaeya, falling in love is to tease. To make sure the time you spent with them becomes a golden time. To make sure that they are always happy with him.
Last but not least, to Diluc, falling in love is to protect. The world he would have with his lover might be a lovely world. But the outside world? God, it’s brutal out there.
At the end of the day, to these people, falling in love is not something to find. Falling in love is to be found.
He was never sure of himself, but Xiao thinks… maybe this was it . Falling in love, but he never realized it. He has fallen and is continuously falling , because everyday feels like walking under trees during spring whenever he’s with him.
Sora.
Sora.
The way his name slips off his lips whenever he has to call him makes him feel giddy. Xiao is never the person to show many expressions. So when he feels these flower petals falling down his stomach when he hears Sora’s name, it feels weird . Denial, Xiao barely calls him by his name.
Sora, his childhood best friend.
A beloved golden child for everyone.
Who doesn’t adore Sora in this school? Unlike Xiao, he’s cheerful, extroverted, smart, and full of laughter. Does falling in love mean you think you know them better than anyone else?
Cause, Xiao does.
Xiao notices every little thing about Sora. Everything he loves. He loves the way Sora closes his eyes whenever he laughs. He loves the way Sora lifts his pinky when he holds a cup. He loves the way Sora holds his textbooks close to his face when reading them.
People would call it ridiculous, the things Sora does. But when you fall in love, everything seems plausible. Especially for Xiao to watch his best friend since they were in diapers.
Xiao is in love with Sora’s smile,
Xiao is in love with Sora’s giggle,
Xiao is in love with Sora’s voice,
Xiao is in love with Sora’s eyes,
Xiao is… in love with Sora.
Oh, that heart who beats twice faster when his face comes up close, Xiao always hopes it is doing fine handling all these moments.
Sora steals all the spotlight in Xiao’s eyes. He shines the most and stands out the most. This is falling in love.
Is it true when they say, everything they do is just beautiful when you’re in love?
Xiao used to think it was ridiculous. He hates messy eaters, but why is it when Sora gets messy while eating, he finds it adorable? No way. Xiao doesn’t want to be unfair— oh no, he’s so cute —no! Xiao has to be fair for everyone in this world— he looks like a baby —that he hates messy eaters!
“Sora.” Xiao calls, and can't help but chuckle when Aether’s doe eyes look at him with so much adorableness.
“Huh? Why are you laughing?!”
Gosh, I’m in love with you. “Such a messy eater, you are.” Xiao leans in to clean the corner of Sora’s lips.
If only Xiao was paying attention enough, he’d notice Sora, too, is blushing from how close they are.
Regardless, this moment feels unreal. Not only did Xiao become intimate with his beloved friend, but Sora also flinched a little when his friend got close. Even closed his eyes as he was expecting something.
Such happy moments for such a short time. At least, for Xiao. No, don’t worry. Neither of them died. Just…
“I really like her!”
Xiao hears Sora say so in his class. He’s just visiting him as usual, sharing their lunch or exchanging stories of what happened in class, but now, Xiao feels like running away.
Why aren’t you running away?! Aren’t you scared? Xiao thought to himself, clenching his own damned fist when he refused to enter the classroom.
“She’s kind and lovely.”
No, stop.
“I’ll ask her out to prom,”
No, I want to dance with you.
“Maybe I should buy her flowers!”
No, I should buy you flowers.
Is this it? Falling in love, but nobody catches you. Falling in love, but all that is there is traps and dark abyss.
Ah. This is what pit Xiao has fallen into.
Everything has been unsurprisingly dull for Xiao. However, Sora also feels distant from Xiao. He dislikes it, being away from his best friend. What went wrong? Aren’t they supposed to spend lunch together? Where is he? He usually waits by the gate. Xiao, where are you?
Not a single call is answered, so do his messages. Sora goes through all the floors in her school, looking for his best friend as he’s worried. Why won’t he? Xiao is Sora’s best friend.
The best friend Sora cherish,
The best friend Sora spends time with,
The best friend Sora is fond of,
Best friend?
Sora stops when he sees a glimpse of Xiao’s shoes by the end of the stairs. The stairs which lead to the roof. Without another thought, he grabs the pair of shoes and runs upstairs, hoping to find Xiao there.
“Xiao!”
Sora shouts loudly, looking right and left for him. He’s definitely going to make him pay for the arcade coins later. Just so he watches!
But, the way Aether’s heart clutches when he sees Xiao sitting on his own… What was that feeling?
Sora is Xiao’s childhood best friend. Sora knows everything about Xiao. The way he hates jokes and rarely finds them funny, the way he only likes certain meats to eat, the way he…
the way he only smiles when he’s with him. To which Sora is very smug about. This crushing feeling in his chest when he sees how sad Xiao is, is not normal.
“Get down from there, you’re gonna fall, dumbass!”
Sora pulls him and Xiao falls into Sora’s embrace. He doesn’t know why but this hug is tighter than it usually does. No, actually, Sora doesn’t remember when was the last time they hugged. It reminds him again, how gentle Xiao’s hug is. The warmth that makes him feel alive.
Sora drops the shoes to the ground before he finally hugs Xiao back. A hug Xiao hopes to be meaningful, he hates the fact that he can’t read Sora’s mind. Though, here you have Sora, who is happy that Xiao can’t read his mind.
Why is he hugging me so tight? Oh gosh, I hope he doesn’t hear my heartbeat beating so fast—
“Let’s go home. I was just trying to get some fresh air.” Xiao holds Sora’s hand in his just as tight, before dragging him to the exit.
Falling in love… is it to hug on the roof when it’s just the two of them? Sora wonders now, whether or not his heart beating so fast was because of the height they were in or the fact that he has fallen in love?
“Do you really like her?” Xiao asks as they are walking home. Again, just the two of them. Sora is not dumb, he can clearly see how Xiao stands so far from him.
“I will answer if you would stop stepping away from me.”
Sora watches Xiao who twitches when he says that. Ah, he probably knows he’s doing it on purpose. Defeated and with nowhere to go, Xiao steps closer to Sora, finally standing close enough to each other to have their skin touching.
This warmth, is it falling in love too?
“I like her,” Sora presses his lips together when he says that, looking away in embarrassment. So does Xiao, who doesn’t have the heart to look at his best friend for now, “but, as a friend. As someone I want to go out with during prom.” He continues, palming his face to hide.
Xiao wants that to be the truth. Hopefully he isn’t lying. He wants to know if those years of him falling into the pit of the abyss was foul, and there’s a hidden door to enter the garden of flowers.
“Am I not someone to go to the prom with?” Xiao asks, bluntly.
Sora looks at him with widened eyes, confused, and flustered. What is this feeling of expectation Sora was feeling? He wants somebody to scream at his ear to tell him, this is falling in love!
But Sora knows it’s more than that.
This is love.
“I’m in love with you, Sora.”
What is love anyway? The feeling of happiness with the slightest effort, the feeling of cheerfulness with their presence, the feeling of waking up in the morning with positivity, knowing you have them .
To Sora and Xiao, what is love, if not a never ending beginning?