Archive of Our Own

There were three rules that Seungmin had given to Felix, the first time they met.

FIRST RULE: Do not even THINK of singing. Unless you want to die.

Which is a bummer. Felix had always been a fan of music. The Burrow forbade a lot of things, but music wasn’t one of them. While growing up underground, the most that Felix did was fail his classes, sing and dance along to his favorite tunes, and even watch musicals.

The first time he heard the rule, he joked about it being similar to the movie where grandma trolls were eaten because they sang. Seungmin didn’t understand jokes that much, unfortunately. He replied with, “You’ll be one of those grandmas the next time you sing.”

It was enough to shut Felix up, but not the song still playing in his head.

SECOND RULE: Kill any animal on sight. If you can’t, then run.

Okay, that one Felix has broken already. With no regrets. No second thoughts. No doubts. The first time he heard the rule though, he was sure he’d be able to follow it, mainly because it was the same thing that’t been taught to him back at the Burrow.

But the books and lessons in the Burrow were written and published in the year 2020, which would date back to two hundred years ago, where hawks were brown and small—unlike the one he saw here in the Surface. The hawks now were as large as the airplanes Felix would visualize, with its wings painted a variety of colors he wanted to name one by one if only it wasn’t chasing them to death.

And the moment they hid, he saw the love of his life, more precious than any forbidden chips he had stolen back at the Burrow cafeteria.

He named it Bokkie.

A chicken.

The books in the Burrow told Felix that a chicken is a small bird that varies in colors brown, black, red, and white—it clucks around all day, lays eggs, and is killed to be eaten.

This one they can kill, definitely, so Seungmin readies his weapon and almost strikes.

Almost. If Felix hadn’t jumped in and kicked Seungmin’s hand away (the glare he received after almost melting him), Bokkie would’ve been their lunch earlier.

But how could Felix let that happen?

With its huge, round, pleading eyes, looking at Felix as if it was on its knees (if a chicken could kneel) just so it could be spared. Its four wings (not two—those stupid Burrow books were too inaccurate) tucked in hues blue, yellow, and purple, which Felix couldn’t possibly pluck away and devour later. And the small brown specks around its beak reminded Felix of his own freckles. It was almost as if he saw a version of his animal self… Or something like that.

Felix dared break the second rule, even if it led to Bokkie leaving them after a good thirty minutes for who knows what reason.

But that was okay. Bokkie’s got the chance to live his life to the fullest. Felix doesn’t. Seungmin doesn’t.

They need to survive the Surface. Felix wanted to live because he wanted to go back to the Burrow, burn the books, and teach his fellow Burrows about the real Surface, what the aftermath of the end of the world actually looked like. Seungmin wanted to live because…

Well, Felix doesn’t know. The other has never told him.

All he knows is that Seungmin doesn’t want to die.

Which led to their third rule to avoid death.

THIRD RULE: Don’t look up.

It’s a bummer, especially at night.

Back at the Burrow, Felix had always wondered what the galaxy would look like up close. He’s read in books that it’s this huge, massive space filled with asteroids and planets and stars and—and he wants to see them. Getting to see how the celestial bodies decorate the sky at night was such a privilege for Felix, having to live underground for almost all his life.

When the sun—a huge ball of fire Felix wanted to stare at, but also couldn’t—bid goodbye, when the stars crept in to join them in their journey, Felix wanted to drop everything right then and there and just stare back at the sky.

To which Seungmin warns him immediately, “Looking up will get you killed.”

It’s unfair.

Unfair to be handed something so beautiful yet forbidden. The feeling of letting your fingertips graze, but not letting them intertwine.

“Why?” Felix asks, his eyes refusing to leave the portion of the galaxy sprawled before him.

Just before Seungmin could answer, the leaves rustled despite having no presence of the wind. Felix’s heart hiccups as he turns around, and the dead body of a predator was the first thing that greeted him. Seungmin’s spear was embedded into its gut, half of it almost through.

Their eyes met, and Felix wished the ground would’ve swallowed him whole at that moment.

If he looks up, while on the Surface, where he’s certainly not on the top of the food chain, he'd have zero chances of survival. Zero chances of finding another entrance to the Burrow. Absolutely no chances of rewriting the books and teaching the other Burrows new stuff.

It’s either the stars, or his life.

Felix hangs his head.

No looking up, then.

Seungmin was fine on his own, because having to live all of his life surviving the Surface, he learned that you’ll do better and have a higher chance of survival when you’re with yourself. 

You will only have one stomach to feed. One person to look out for. No one else but yourself to worry about.

But Felix was stubborn, and persistent. 

Seungmin would run as fast as he can, and Felix’s still there, still catching up despite having shorter legs. Seungmin would hide behind the nearest bush, and turns out Felix is also there, plucking out blueberries and even offering one. Seungmin would camouflage at night to sleep peacefully, but suddenly Felix is beside him, asking question after question after question.

To summarize the day he realized he had lesser chances of making it out alive, Seungmin just decided he had no chance of beating Felix’s perseverance and let the situation be.

It’s been a few nights since that day, and luckily enough Seungmin was able to control his temper and not snap every time Felix asks questions out of the blue. The guy’s persistently curious, as well. What are the rules for? Did you come up with those by yourself? Where was your original home? How were you born on the Surface?

Tonight, as they set camp to rest for a couple of hours, Felix asks yet another question.

“Have you even tried singing?” He says, mindlessly drawing on the ground with a stick he’s picked up along the way. Seungmin remembers telling Felix to throw the stick away, but of course the Burrow guy doesn’t  listen.

Seungmin prepares their catch of the day—two fishes along with three freshly plucked mangoes—before sitting across from him, ignoring the question, as usual.

“Seungmin,” Felix calls. Seungmin notices how the other has stopped drawing. “Hey.”

Seungmin pretends to be busy as he starts to roast the fish, purposely still ignoring the glares he’s seeing from his peripheral point of view. Felix decides it was a good idea to start poking Seungmin with the stick.

“You haven’t, have you?” He insists, voice now laced with a teasing tone. Seungmin snaps his head towards the direction of the Burrow guy, and lifts an elegant brow. “That’s why you’re pouting and everything. You haven’t tried singing.”

“That’s one of the reasons why I’m still alive,” Seungmin retorts, “try singing now and you’ll be killed.”

“It’s all you’ve said ever since we met!” Felix whines, a pout making its way to his lips. Seungmin scoffs and focuses on cooking instead, but Felix continues, “Hey, can I change my outfit? No, you’ll die. Hey, how about we hug this gigantic rabbit bunny for warmth? No, you’ll be eaten alive. Hey, can we—”

“Look, who’s the Surface guy here?” Seungmin interrupts, unconsciously gripping the stick tighter than he should. “It’s how we roll on the Surface. Singing equates to gathering attention, like signalling the other predators, ‘Hey, here’s where your dinner’s hiding!’”

Felix purses his lips in thought, perhaps realizing that Seungmin does have a point (always did). Seungmin appreciates the silence while it’s still there, because ever since he “let” Felix join along, silence became a foreign thing between them. He only ever had it when Felix slept.

It wasn’t a solid five minutes though before Felix asks again, “Have you ever tried befriending a predator?”

Seungmin gives Felix a look. “Why don’t you try it?”

Felix rolls his eyes. “Was just asking, okay?”

“Here, this one’s cooked already,” Seungmin says instead, placing the cooked fish on a clean leaf. “Wash your hands first, by the way.”

Felix drops his stick and goes to the river nearby, doing as he’s told. Seungmin busies himself by carefully removing the bones of the fish—with the warm flame serving as his light—because he remembers how Felix almost choked on one the first time they had this for dinner.

Felix comes back grumbling under his breath how he could eat fish on his own, but says a small thank you as he takes the meal from Seungmin, anyway. Seungmin then proceeds to peel the mango open before handing it to Felix, as well.

“Do you think cans of beans are still edible?” Felix asks out of nowhere, barely understandable with his mouth full.

Seungmin reaches out and wipes away the crumbs at the side of Felix’s lips before continuing to roast his own fish. He thinks about Felix’s question for a while, and shakes his head.

He places the fish on another clean leaf and starts working on it, too. “It’s been there for how many nights already, you think we can eat it?”

“Technically, we can,” Felix answers, swallowing his food. Seungmin wonders how he could do it while the food’s still hot. “We’d just have to suffer from food poisoning after.”

“You do the honors, then,” Seungmin jests, grabbing another mango and peeling it. “So, we’d see how dangerous these beans are.”

“Ha, ha,” Felix says sarcastically. He pauses when Seungmin hands him the peeled mango, the flame casting a warm glow on his hesitant face, but Seungmin insists and places it on his leaf. He noticed during their nights of travelling that Felix favored sweet food. “Um, well—it won’t hurt to try, right?”

Seungmin immediately frowns and rolls his eyes. “I was joking.” He blankly looks at Felix, and says, “But if you insist.”

Felix’s forehead creases at the statement. “That was… A joke too, wasn’t it?”

Seungmin smiles without humor, and continues to peel the third mango.

“Seungmin, hey, that was a joke, right?”

“Finish up so you can sleep,” Seungmin orders. Thankfully, Felix doesn’t press any more questions or comments and moves up to wash his hands again by the river. In the silence, Seungmin is at peace, carefully eating his own share of fish and mango.

He subtly watches Felix curl up nearby the flame, mumbling a small good night and immediately dozing off to dreamland. Seungmin remembers the first time they spent the night, and Felix was insisting that Seungmin should look up and name the constellations with him.

Of course a wild Grizzly bear attacked them before Seungmin could even lay down, and so they ran—even though Felix stupidly tried to attack back—trying to find a better spot where Grizzly bears and other predators couldn’t find them. And Felix made sure to keep his mouth shut by that time.

Seungmin carefully set aside his dishes and went to wash his own hands, as well. When he finishes, he goes near Felix, who as usual was shivering, still not used to the Surface’s cold temperature. He removes his coat and drapes it over the Burrow guy. Felix’s body relaxes shortly after.

It’s surprising how Felix is still keeping up until this moment, really.

A person who grew up in the Burrow is not expected to live that long in the Surface. Mainly because they grew up being protected—from the Sun, from the predators, from the poisonous vines and ivys. They constructed a whole new life underground, where no one could enter or exit.

Which is why, from what Seungmin heard, those who lived in the Surface would battle to death just to get information from a Burrow. The most thing that a person who’s spent their lives trying not to die wants is security, something that the Burrow offers.

Felix doesn’t know that. Seungmin’s afraid he’d scare the poor guy off and rattle his trust if he did.

And Seungmin doesn’t have plans to reside in the Burrow, anyway. He has no ulterior motive when he made Felix stick around despite being nosy and talkative and curious. He just… Found himself wanting to look out for the guy.

Seungmin nearly scoffs. He won’t get anything out of Felix, either way. All the Burrow guy remembers is that he fell to the Surface after a disastrous earthquake, and has no idea on how to get back. So that’s what they’re trying to do now. Trying to get Felix back.

Felix wants to go home. Seungmin wants to go back to being alone.

“No—”

Seungmin’s pulled away from his train of thoughts, eyes immediately darting to Felix. He was still curled up, but his brows were pulled towards the bridge of his nose, his lips tightening as if in a bad dream.

“I—I can’t—Help!” He starts screaming, and Seungmin jolts to action, running to Felix and kneeling before him. Seungmin starts calling out Felix’s name, trying to get him out of the dream, but Felix starts to writhe and scream, “Somebody! Chan-hyung! Minho-hyung!”

Seungmin’s heart accelerates in worry. Worry that Felix’s dream has taken him back to the Burrow, perhaps resurfacing bad memories. He was growing more worried with how Felix’s screams continue to grow, and he realized late that they could attract unwanted attention sooner or later.

“Felix, wake up!” Seungmin screams, shaking Felix’s body, hoping that the Burrow guy would snap out of it immediately. His efforts were in vain, however, and Felix was still whining.

Seungmin pauses, and realizes that there’s another way to wake up Felix. He runs to the river, scoops up water in his hands and immediately pours it on Felix’s face.

Felix wakes up with a gasp, hands trembling, eyes panicking.

“It’s okay, I’m here,” Seungmin whispers immediately, his hand giving comfortable rubs on Felix’s back. He reaches out to envelope his other hand around the other’s, and gives it a light squeeze. “It was just a dream. You’re okay. It’s okay.”

“Seung—Seungmin…” Felix slurs, eyes still darting around his surroundings, as if to verify that he’s escaped his horrible nightmare. With a shudder, Felix tries to compose himself, and then starts to—

He’s singing?

Seungmin opens his mouth to scold, because that was the very first rule that he’s ever introduced to Felix, but closes it shut when he realizes what the other was doing. Felix wasn’t singing with his usual loud, booming voice. Rather, it was soft and calming.

Seungmin listens instead, hand never leaving Felix’s, and subtly checks that there weren’t any predators trying to sneak up on them.

“And I’ll say to you—ooh-ah, soon you’ll… You’ll…” Felix stops, takes a deep breath, and tries to continue, “...you’ll get better. Ooh-ah, soon…”

He shudders, his eyes now brimming with tears.

“Is… There something wrong?” Seungmin carefully asks.

Felix looks away. “It’s just… It’s sad if I think about it…”

For a while, he stays silent. Seungmin usually appreciates it, but now he breaks the quietness surrounding them.

“You can tell me.”

Seungmin feels the way Felix squeezes his hand. He sees how Felix hesitates, which was new, as the guy was always enthusiastic with storytelling. He hears the sharp, ragged breaths that flew past Felix’s lips.

He waits.

Felix then starts with, “These are what my hyungs back at the Burrow usually sing to me.”

Seungmin nods as encouragement.

“I—well, my memory’s pretty vivid, you know. And that’s a good thing. But… But when I have dreams, and nightmares, it’s all so clear and I feel like I’m actually experiencing it and can’t get it out of my head and—”

“Deep breaths,” Seungmin reminds.

It takes a while before Felix speaks again.

“And when I get those nightmares, they’re there for me,” Felix says. “Chan-hyung, Minho-hyung… The whole bunch. They introduced this song to me and always sang it to calm me down. It’s just sad that—well—I have to sing it to myself now.”

Felix laughs without a trace of humor lingering in his voice, shakes his head, and gently pulls his hand away from Seungmin’s. “But it’s something I’ll get used to soon, right?”

“And you’ll get back to the Burrow soon,” Seungmin reassures, “you’ll meet your hyungs again.”

“I will.” The smile on Felix’s face was genuine this time. Seungmin returns the smile immediately, glad to see his companion not shivering or crying in panic. “You better get some rest, too.”

“You should go first,” Seungmin says, readjusting the fallen coat on Felix’s body. “I’ll keep watch to make sure whatever you dreamed about doesn’t come true.”

“I’m sure it won’t.” Felix chuckles under his breath. “My dream was about the day of the earthquake, when I fell into the water sewage system.”

Seungmin was unable to reply, trying to process the information. It was his first time hearing it. The only thing he knew about Felix before was that he came here because of an earthquake.

“Good night,” Felix says, snapping Seungmin out of his thoughts. He curls up again, holding onto the coat, his eyelashes brushing against the freckles sprawled on his cheeks—and for a moment Seungmin almost thought Felix was okay again.

But he notices how Felix’s hold on the coat tightens, his body shifting ever so slightly.

Seungmin sighs as he stares at his companion’s “sleeping” figure.

If Felix’s nightmare was the day he almost died—clawing at the surface to grasp for air, calling out the names of people who weren’t there to help him—Seungmin’s doubtful he’d sleep peacefully.

A thought crosses his mind. An absurd one that he hadn’t considered until—until now.

Seungmin parts his mouth, and recalls how Felix did it earlier. It wasn’t that long before the notes flew out of his lips, singing the words he’s unsure of. Words he’s listened to before scolding Felix, the words that he had just listened to earlier.

“This won’t go back to normal, if it ever was. It’s been years of hoping, and I keep saying it because…”

Singing felt weird. To let the words fly out of your mouth differently, accompanied by a tune you never knew you knew. Words that seemed to weigh so much more with the notes it was carrying, with the message it was trying to convey.

Felix’s eyes flutter open, as if surprised. He never looked at Seungmin—just straight ahead, as if trying to confirm that he was hearing things correctly.

It prompts Seungmin to continue, “‘Cause I have to.”

He smiles at Felix, even though the latter couldn’t possibly see him. Then he sings the part that Felix was unable to finish earlier. It was what Seungmin was most familiar with, since he’s heard it from Felix a couple of times before, too.

“...you’ll get better—ooh-ah, you’ll get better soon.” Seungmin notes the way Felix’s breathing steadies, lets out a sigh, and sits comfortably beside him. “You will, soon.”

Seungmin smothers a laugh threatening to escape when he notices how Felix started snoring. Someone else singing his comfort song for him must be relaxing enough that he was able to sleep right away.

The thought made Seungmin realize that Felix must’ve spent his whole life in the Burrow being taken care of. Maybe that’s why he’s so carefree. Maybe that’s why Seungmin’s instinct was to take care of him.

Despite the amount of glares he’s given the Burrow guy, Seungmin finds himself comforted by the thought that he’s taking care of Felix.

He won’t have it any other way.

His Chan-hyung and Minho-hyung had always encouraged him in baking. Actually, all of his friends did, but those two hyungs were the ones who always gave him the ingredients and equipment he needed, and also gave comments here and there.

They’re gathered at Chan and Minho’s house. Minho-hyung was feeding his cats, who Felix has yet to learn their names. Changbin-hyung and Jeongin were playing a game, while Hyunjin was busy creating yet another masterpiece on canvas. Jisung was at the corner, fiddling with his guitar, playing Felix’s favorite comfort song.

Felix remembers the way Seungmin sang it to him before he slept. He realizes this is a memory. It’s a dream.

He indulges in every second of this illusion before he wakes up to the cruelty of the Surface again.

“Chocolate-chip cookies,” Chan-hyung suggests, making Felix look at him. His hyung has taken a huge bite of the cookie he’s supposedly just got out of the oven. “It’s better if you added chocolate chips, right?”

From the very back, Jisung yells, “Add lots of chocolate in mine!”

Changbin-hyung and Jeongin scream as well, but at each other, cursing at the top of their lungs as they try to beat their foe.

Hyunjin rolls his eyes, smiles at Felix, and continues painting.

The illusion makes Felix’s heart ache.

“What? Something wrong with that?” Chan-hyung scratches the back of his head. “I thought you’d favor the idea. You love sweets.”

“Let Felix decide on his own,” Minho-hyung joins in, with one of the cats following him. Is this Soonie? “He’s Dori.”

Embarrassed—even if he’s just in a dream—Felix taps his fingers on the table. “I’ll make you chocolate chip cookies, hyung.”

Chan-hyung smiles. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

Felix gulps, remembering how he used to ignore Chan-hyung’s suggestions to tease him. He did have plans to do all of them in one day—particularly on his hyung’s birthday—but he didn’t have the chance to.

“I want to,” Felix says, trying to put on a genuine smile. “When I get back, it’s going to be the first thing I’m doing.”

“‘When you get back?’” Minho-hyung asks, sounding incredulous. “Changbin can just do the groceries for you. No need to go out.”

“And—” Chan-hyung draws out the word and squints his eyes at Felix, “—you’re banned from the grocery store because you almost destroyed it once,” he reminds Felix quickly, he could’ve beaten Changbin-hyung’s  speed in talking.

Felix smiles to himself.

Right—in this illusion, no earthquake happened. He didn’t fall down a cliff and almost drowned in the water sewage system.

In this illusion, Felix was safe. He’s with his family, and he’s never going away.

He sees Hyunjin stand up, and walk towards Felix with a frown on his face. Felix blinks, observing his friend’s face, trying to remember what Hyunjin is currently reminding him of.

When Hyunjin stops right in front of him, Felix remembers.

He blinks, and suddenly Hyunjin is Seungmin now, wearing that stern face he always had.

“Get up,” he orders.

“What—why—”

“Something’s near,” he answers, and grips Felix’s arm tightly. Felix wakes up this time, eyes squinted as his face is hit by sunlight. He could make out Seungmin’s silhouette and could feel the tight grip on his arm as he hears the other say, “get up or we’re killed.”

Seungmin’s stern voice. Seungmin’s or-you’ll-get-killed sermon. Something’s out to kill them.

Yep. Felix’s awake. He’s certainly on the Surface now.

“Not even time for breakfast…” Felix grumbles as he stands up. He feels Seungmin’s hand leave his arm—thankfully so. “Don’t we have leftovers from last night?”

He could feel Seungmin’s glare despite still rubbing his eyes. “No, you idiot. Now hurry up.”

Felix obliges and stands up, appreciating the warmth that the sunlight is giving them. He doesn’t remember how long he’s been at the Surface, but he’s sure as hell that he still isn’t used to the sudden drop of temperature at night. He might’ve already caught a cold if it weren’t for Seungmin’s coat.

Felix remembers the amount of sweaters that Jeongin has started to knit back at the Burrow. He should probably start to learn how to knit once he gets back, too, and make a sweater for Seungmin as a thank you. Maybe sky blue would suit Seungmin. And pair it with a fluffy white beret.

He stares at Seungmin’s alert, rigid face. His heart slightly drops. Would Seungmin even go with him to the Burrow? Of course, he has no reason to, in the first place, but it would’ve been nice if he did—Felix would introduce him to his family.

He already pictured how Seungmin would probably get along with Hyunjin or Changbin-hyung, and—

He drags his gaze elsewhere.

And Seungmin probably doesn’t even want to go with Felix.

“Did you hear that?”

Felix looks up at the subject of his thoughts. Seungmin shifts from one foot to another, and Felix turns his head around, trying to see if there’s something unusual in their surroundings.

The leaves rustle. Seungmin readies his spear, and Felix’s heart picks up its pace. His mind lists down possible creatures preparing to lurch at them first thing in the morning—an alligator or crocodile, perhaps? Felix didn’t know how to distinguish the two, but could one of those possibly live in the river nearby?

But the leaves were the ones rustling. So it’s not one of those, then. Would it be another hawk? But hawks circle their prey in the sky. And there’s suddenly no signs of screeching right now.

Felix hears Seungmin curse under his breath. One of the nearby bushes rattle, and Felix picks up two stones, one foot taking a step backward, preparing to run. 

He tries his best to focus, to be as alert as his companion is, but he feels a knot in his stomach, and it wasn’t even a second before it grumbles.

Seungmin screams and throws his spear at the bush, startled by the sound. He waits for his expected predator, probably hoping that he aimed right—even though he never had problems with aiming—and that that throw guaranteed their safety now.

Felix gulps in nervousness, waits for a few beats to pass by, and softly says, “That was me.”

Seungmin snaps his head towards Felix. “Excuse me?”

“That… It’s…” He groans and raises his fists up in the air, both still holding the stones. “I’m hungry, okay. It’s not something I could control."

“Can’t you live a morning without breakfast?” Seungmin retorts, unamusement flashed across his face. “The first thing you think about in the morning should be safety, not food! We can pick up food later. There are a lot of berries around, you know that.”

“I know, I know,” Felix mumbles, rubbing his stomach. Seungmin walks away to retrieve his spear. “But I think it’s got something to do with my dream. I dreamt about food.”

Seungmin doesn’t respond, which prompts Felix to continue, “Do you think we can cook food here like the food I’ve had at the burrow? Like we can be resourceful and probably make a DIY oven to bake. I miss the taste of my brownies and cookies. We can start searching for—”

“Eggs,” Seungmin cuts, crouched in front of the bushes.

Felix beams and nods. “Exactly! How’d you know we need eggs?”

“How’d I—” Seungmin turns his head to face Felix, brows furrowed together. “I don’t know. I—I accidentally hit some eggs with my spear. But what would…”

Seungmin’s voice trails as the same rattle sound they heard from earlier fades in, as if alerting them of its presence. The rattle sounds grew, and Felix’s hold on the stones tightens, while Seungmin tries to look around for the intruder.

“We should go,” Seungmin says, reaching out to grab his spear, but before he could, the predator comes into view.

“Snake!” Felix screams, throwing his stones. He should’ve taken into account that he’s never really tried attacking before, much less aiming—one of the stones reaches Seungmin, fortunately, but it hit the back of his hand, and Felix winced at the sight.

He doesn’t deserve to whine about breakfast to Seungmin at this point, despite his still grumbling stomach.

Seungmin curses and takes a step back warily, not wanting to intimidate the snake. But of course that’s no use once the snake realizes that its eggs are broken, and that Seungmin is the cause of it.

Seungmin has probably thought of the same thing. After three steps back, he screams all the curse words that Felix has heard Minho-hyung say in his sleep, and urges Felix to run.

Second rule, kill any animal on sight. If you can’t, run.

Ever since coming to the Surface, Felix had wished he ran more in gym class. Felix only actually ran when his coach was looking. Most of the time, he was gossiping with Jisung.

He wishes Jisung was here with him right now to regret it.

He immediately erases the thought after realizing how inconsiderate and petty that sounded.

“Run faster!” Seungmin screams beside him, making him remember that this time, he needed to run to actually save his life, like what his coach had told him before. 

He nods and speaks nothing as he tries to keep up with Seungmin’s pace, which is hard since he has shorter legs, but he’s managed before, so why not now? 

The thought pushes Felix forward in a sprint. His feet pound against the ground, his chest heaving as he struggles for breath, all while ignoring the hunger building in his stomach. It’s not just Seungmin’s long strides that put him behind, either; Felix’s legs feel like they’re going to fall out under him any second and he can’t run on autopilot anymore.

He almost trips when they take a tight turn, and he nods at Seungmin when the latter looks back, probably to check on him. Instinctively, Felix looks back as well, still greeted by an angry snake.

Except, it looks… Slightly different.

“Fuck,” Felix curses in realization. He catches up with Seungmin’s pace and shouts, “We need to hide!”

“What?” Seungmin shouts back. He looks like he’s been bathing in sweat at this point, and Felix is sure he doesn’t look any better.

They’re practically panting as they stumble over a protruding tree root.

Felix grabs Seungmin by the sleeve of his shirt, dragging him behind one of the trees before ducking out of sight. Seungmin’s breathing is heavy from all the running. His hands are sweating, and his chest is heaving from exertion.

Between heavy breaths, Seungmin manages to ask, “Why are we hiding?”

Felix gulps, noticing only now how his throat dried up. “The snake—haven’t you realized? It’s growing larger minute by minute.”

Seungmin’s orbs roll back into his head before he shuts it tight. The sweat that’s racing down his body makes Felix realize that it won’t be long until the snake catches the scent and sniffs them out of their hiding spot.

The fact that it’s growing larger means they have to kill it before it’s “unkillable”.

“Hey, didn’t you say that if we can’t kill an animal, we run away from it?” Felix asks in a hushed voice, roaming his gaze around to see if there’s anything they could use to repel the snake. “What if we can’t do both?”

“Shut up,” Seungmin snaps in a tight whisper, “literally or it’ll hear us.”

Felix only hums in response, staring at the pile of dried leaves before deciding it wouldn’t do well if they hid there. He tries to remember if there was something about snakes in the books he’s read back at the Burrow, but all they ever said was it was venomous, fast to strike and able to attack on prey larger than their own size.

Of course the books never mentioned about the snakes actually growing larger than their own size. Having to be published and written two hundred years ago meant that those books were inaccurate, but Felix hopes there is a chance that some parts of it may still be true today.

“If we survive—” Seungmin huffs and coughs, “—I at least want to have onion for lunch.”

Felix whips his head to turn to his companion. “Onion?”

Seungmin puckers his lips towards a certain direction, and Felix almost fell to his knees the moment he saw it—how could he have missed it?! Big, humongous onions—larger than him, or Seungmin, or the snake. He wants to cry and weep in joy right there, but chides himself.

He still has yet to see if his luck’s still intact. That would also determine if they’d get to live today.

They hear the rattle sound yet once again.

“On the count of three, let’s run behind those huge onions. Got it?” Felix instructs, wrapping his hand around Seungmin’s.

Seungmin frowns at him. “What?”

“Three!”

The other screams as Felix takes the lead, using the last pinch of adrenaline he has in his body to get to the other side. Right there, Felix hopes that the silly plan in his mind works. If it doesn’t, well—no more onions for lunch (even though he doesn’t agree with Seungmin on that), or baking chocolate chip cookies, or learning to knit a sweater.

The onions were indeed larger than the ones they managed to replicate in the Burrow, since the Burrow only really replicated what they saw in the books.

The books also mentioned something about snakes not liking the sulfuric acid that comes from onions, which is also the same chemical that makes you cry when you slice one. In a way, the onion can repel snakes.

And if that’s true…  

They hear a hiss. Felix holds Seungmin’s hand tighter, pressing his back firmly against the onion. He could feel Seungmin squeeze his hand briefly, before taking a risky glance towards where he assumed the snake would be.

Another hiss, another rattle, and Seungmin curses.

It didn’t work?

“That damned chicken,” he hears Seungmin say.

“What chicken?” Felix asks as he takes a step, trying to get a glimpse of what’s happening. He sees the snake, who’s now extremely bigger than when they last saw it. It doesn’t seem like it’s interested in them anymore—in fact, it looks like it’s interested in something else.

Felix follows the snake’s line of sight, and catches his breath when he’s greeted by a familiar fella.

“Bokkie.”

“Let’s run while it’s distracted,” Seungmin suggests, placing a hand on Felix’s shoulder. 

“But Bokkie—” Felix takes a glance again, noting the way Bokkie clucks as it tries to run, but only manages to limp a few steps away from the snake. The latter looks entertained, since it was still hissing and rattling, not really trapping the chicken and killing it for lunch.

But once the fun’s over, Felix is sure this would be the last he sees of Bokkie.

He doesn’t really want that to happen.

“You run,” he tells Seungmin, kicking his legs to stretch up in a way. Damned human body and limited source of energy. He hasn’t even had breakfast. “I’ll rescue Bokkie.”

Seungmin scoffs and grips Felix’s shoulder tighter, which the latter pushes away. “Second rule, Felix. Kill the animal. If you can’t, run.” His eyes darken, and he adds in a rush, “And I can’t just leave you behind.”

Felix ignores the way his heart reacted to that. “Well, I can’t just leave Bokkie behind, either.”

“Are you seriously—”

Not letting Seungmin finish, Felix darts to the open, yelling as he makes the run to Bokkie. The chicken clucks and the snake hisses, all eyes on him before the snake focuses on Bokkie again. Felix sees it, the way it’s about to strike and take Bokkie’s life away.

He jumps at the last minute, stretching his small body to attempt to reach Bokkie and roll away from the scene; probably find a way to hide behind the onions again. But he wasn’t any kind of magical entity. He also failed gym class. He managed to reach Bokkie, embrace the chicken and bury it against his chest, but his body eventually gave up.

Felix fell to the ground, cough spewing out of his mouth as he tasted the dirt on his tongue. (Great, soil for breakfast.) He feels Bokkie shiver against him, and he coos to get it to calm down. He tries to sit up, but his legs feel tight.

It could’ve been better if it was from severe exhaustion.

The world provided something different.

The snake has wrapped itself around Felix’s legs, the once angry look on its face replaced with some sort of satisfied, evil grin—or something similar to that, whatever a snake could manage to show. It curled around Felix slowly, savoring the moment.

Well. He hopes Seungmin enjoys his lunch. At least he has Bokkie. Or, maybe he could still get Bokkie to flee. So that this attempted rescue mission won’t go to waste.

“Can you run?” Felix asks the chicken, remembering how it limped earlier. “If you can, then go. I’ll follow you.”

Bokkie clucks in distress. (Felix is getting the hang of interpreting Bokkie language.)

“I’m not lying.” Felix steals a glance at the snake, and smiles reassuringly at Bokkie. “Go. Run if you can. The snake probably couldn’t finish me in a second.”

The books said snakes could unhinge its jaw and swallow their prey whole, but it still takes a while to fully digest the meal. He silently thanks whoever created the snakes’ slow metabolism. And also silently prays that it’s still slow two hundred years later.

Bokkie only tilts its head in response.

Felix sighs. He may understand Bokkie’s language, but not really speak it, couldn’t he? The message wasn’t getting across. The snake was getting nearer. His heartbeat was undeniably racing by now, the fear slowly sinking in.

His eyes meet with the snake’s, and he bites his lower lip as he sees how its bifurcated tongue darts out of its mouth.

Felix gulps.

Then, the snake dies.

He thought he might’ve been dreaming, or hallucinating, but Bokkie starts to cluck fervently, managing to snap Felix out of it. He blinks, and sees the same snake, but now dead, with a stick piercing through its head, blood dribbling.

Felix brings a cold hand to his mouth.

“That was close,” he hears a familiar voice say. And like a superhero in any comic he’s read back at the Burrow, Seungmin stands before him, the sun bathing him in all his glory. He’s holding a spear—though Felix couldn’t pinpoint if it was the same one. “Are… Are you okay?”

Felix only manages a nod. Relieved eyes lock with concerned ones as Seungmin crouches down.

“Can you get out?” Seungmin asks, using his spear to start cutting the snake’s head. Felix decides it’s best to not watch such a scene with an empty stomach. “Ah, is Bokkie alright, as well?”

Felix is taken aback by the question. Seungmin looks at him briefly before taking a look at Bokkie. The chicken clucks and flutters its wings, shivering before tucking them back. Seungmin smiles, much to Felix’s incredulity.

Silence. Nothing but the soft, steady sound of his own breathing. Felix doesn’t watch, but listens as Seungmin tells him that the head has but cut away, and that they’d have no more worries about the corpse injuring them.

“We’re alive.”

The comment was so sudden, Felix wasn’t sure he heard Seungmin correctly.

But Seungmin’s eyes meet his, and the former settles for a small smile, “We’re still alive.”

Felix’s leg is freed from the snake’s grasp, and he looks at his leg, then at Seungmin, who’s now carrying Bokkie in his arms. Seungmin calls for him, prompting him to get going with the same nagging tone of his again, but Felix only replays the three words spoken to him earlier.

We’re still alive.

Second rule broken. And they’re still alive.

Felix gives Bokkie a share of the berries he plucked out of the bush. Bokkie happily pecks at them, but was still limping around. Unfortunately, neither Felix nor Seungmin know how to treat Bokkie. The most that they did so far was carry him around so he won’t get tired of limping, and feed him.

“Are you sure you don’t want onion?” Seungmin sits beside Felix, munching on a portion of onion he cut earlier (he made sure to wash his spear thoroughly before doing so, with Felix’s persuasion). “It’s really good. I like the strong flavor.”

Felix shakes his head. Which he has been doing since lunch, as well. “Not a big fan. Back at the Burrow, I even set aside the onion slices mixed with my meal.”

“You Burrow people even eat food differently,” Seungmin comments. He takes a big bite of the onion and swallows it down immediately to continue, “who eats onions in slices? And you mix food with other food?”

“Yeah…” Small laughter escapes Felix’s lips. “You should try it once we go to the Burrow.”

The onion was halfway inside Seungmin’s mouth when he abruptly pulled it out, giving Felix a confused look. “What did you say?”

“Oh, the Burrow also has onions. My ancestors or whoever managed to replicate the onions dated back 2020. Not a big fan of it.”

Changbin has told Felix multiple times about the benefits he could get from eating onion, but Felix never batted an eye. Whenever an egg is mixed with onion for breakfast, he does his best to set the vegetable aside.

Maybe Seungmin would like it. Come to think of it, Seungmin never actually got to try cooked meals. Of course they had fish and the likes—but Felix meant cookies and brownies, bacon and egg, sushi and tempura.

The idea of Seungmin going with him visited again. Of course, there’s also the thought that Seungmin would probably not agree, that he’d rather stay on the Surface, but Felix would never know unless he asks, right?

“Hey, Seungmin, have you thought about—”

“About leaving you after that risky, stupid stunt you pulled?” Seungmin interjects, looking at Felix then at Bokkie. “The rational part of me said yes.”

The sudden information put a heavy weight atop Felix’s heart.

“But you didn’t,” Felix counters.

Seungmin nods. They both watch as Bokkie curls himself up in a little ball and clucks softly as if to say good night, then closes his eyes to doze off into slumber. “I didn’t. I thought the rational part of me made no sense.”

Felix furrows his eyebrows together. “What kind of… I don’t get it.”

“Me either.” Seungmin chuckles and sets his onion aside, staring blankly at the flame settled in front of them. “Must be from exhaustion. And, well, astonishment? Or… Disbelief?”

Seungmin’s gaze was distant, as if the thought was pulling him further and further away from the Surface. Felix carefully watches his companion, debating with himself whether to open up the topic about Burrow again or let it be.

Before he could decide on anything, Seungmin speaks. “We’re still alive.”

“As far as I know,” Felix quips, but wipes off the smile when he reads the atmosphere, “yeah, we are.”

“Second rule, second time, Felix,” says Seungmin. He turns his head and looks at Felix. “We’ve broken two rules I’ve always followed to stay alive. Yet we’re not dead.”

Felix only nods. He didn’t exactly know what to reply. He didn’t want to say they should’ve just disregarded the rules in the first place, because that would certainly offend Seungmin. Seungmin grew up with those rules. He’s lived his whole life thinking following it was what he must do.

So breaking two rules so far might have been a harsh slap on his face. A reality check, perhaps, that the rules weren’t that of importance. 

Instead, Felix asks a question. It’s what he’s good at, anyway.

“Have you ever thought of having fun?”

“Fun?”

“Singing. That’s fun. Playing around. Uh…” Felix vaguely waves his hand around. “Have you ever had… Siblings? Or friends around?”

“I did,” Seungmin answers, much to Felix’s surprise. Not that he thought Seungmin was alone ever since—it was just, he didn’t expect that this would be a topic Seungmin’s comfortable enough to talk about. “But the pack has a rule. Stick with each other and separate once everyone’s already independent enough to live on their own.”

“Oh.” Felix purses his lips. “Well, what did you guys do for fun?”

“Fun will get you killed. It erases the fear out of your chest.” Seungmin takes a deep breath, shrugs, and does air quotes, “‘Never forget that fear is but the precursor to valor. Fear is what keeps us alive.’”

Felix is sure he hasn’t heard precursor nor valor before—who was his teacher in English, again?—but he’s certain that whatever Seungmin said was poetic, and that it means fear is good. If he thinks about it, it does have a point. Fear is restraining them from becoming arrogant. Fear is keeping them alive. 

But it sounded wrong for Felix, in a way. He didn’t want to live in fear. Of course that wasn’t what the quote was implying, it meant good, it’s just—

All the people around him always reminded him to be fearful. That’s a reason why humans made a new life underground and even refrain from thinking about exploring what’s left of the Surface. That’s what he heard the few times he actually listened to class. 

A long exhale leaves Felix’s lips. He goes over his words carefully, then faces Seungmin as he says, “Sure, you’re alive. But you don’t get to live.”

Seungmin stares at him. The kind of stare that Chan-hyung always gave him when he proposed another ridiculous, just-for-fun recipe that would have any human running towards the bathroom every minute. Then, the corner of Seungmin’s lips curls upward.

“What?” Felix asks. 

“It’s just… You’re alive but you don’t get to live?” 

“Yeah,” Felix answers immediately, shifting closer to Seungmin as he places a hand on the other’s lap. “You’re breathing. That’s being alive. But to live… It’s so much more than just breathing and staying on the Surface, Seungmin." 

Felix sees how confusion takes over Seungmin, trying to find sense in what he’s said. He’s concerned about this, a bit—Seungmin has had friends, sure, but does that mean he’s never had fun on the Surface? Has he ever known what it felt to actually live? 

“It—it doesn’t have to be extreme,” Felix stutters as he stands up, looking around the place and adoring the way the flowers glowed with the moonlight, and how it subtly danced along to the tune of the soft breeze passing by. “Living could, um, you know, be something simple. Catching fish on your first try. Watching the seeds you planted grow bit by bit, day by day. Or just, well—” Felix gestures to Seungmin, “—eating onion for lunch and dinner.”

“How about you, then?” Seungmin stares at the onion as he gently throws it from one hand to the other.

The smile vanishes from Felix’s face. “Huh?”

“Your definition of fun.”

“Well…” Felix scratches the back of his neck. “You don’t just have to stay alive, you have to live. And for me, really, living comes in all sorts of activities. I can’t—I don’t think I can immediately choose what living means…”

If Felix was back at the Burrow, he thinks he could answer the question immediately. Living back then was going home from school without any assignment to do, or writing a new recipe he invented in his mini-journal slash cookbook. 

It’s listening to Hyunjin and Jisung bicker, doodling with Jeongin on Felix’s bedroom wall, or going to the gym with Changbin-hyung. It’s cooking with Minho-hyung and playing with his cats, or playing Uno and losing to Chan-hyung.

It’s the things that he loves, and doing things with the people he loves.

He drags his gaze towards an expectant Seungmin.

“Living, right now—” He says, slowly, going near Seungmin with hesitant steps.

For the past few days he’s stayed at the Surface, he’s really never done something aside from eat, sleep, ah! avoid the predator, and bicker with Seungmin. But as he went over his memories he realizes it’s not just that, but living came with that.

Always finding somewhere new to sleep in, finding something new to eat, discovering and unwrapping new parts of the Surface that will never, ever compare to what the books say.

And unlike what it said in the books, Felix has company in the Surface. Someone to explore the unknown with.

Felix smiles softly as he reaches for Seungmin’s hand, and prompts the other to join with him.

Seungmin leaves his onion behind as he stands up, confused as ever, and asks in a soft voice, “What are you doing?”

“Showing you what living means to me right now.” Felix places Seungmin’s other hand on his shoulder, and slips his own hand on Seungmin’s waist. He feels Seungmin’s curious stare on him, and ignores the way it makes his heart skip a beat. “It’s going to new places with a friend. Or teaching new things to a friend.”

“You’re teaching me something,” Seungmin confirms, eyebrows raised. “Okay. What are we doing?”

“Have you ever heard of dancing?”

“Yoon Minseok, eight years after the end of the world happened.”

Felix frowns. “What?”

“He died from attempting to dance.”

Felix blinks at the information. He tries to think of ways to say to Seungmin that that’s exactly what they’re doing right now, but he forces a chuckle instead and says, “Well, maybe he wasn’t careful enough. There’s a careful kind of dance, you know. And it’s fun.”

Seungmin doesn’t look convinced. “You want me to dance?”

“That’s what we’re doing right now.” Felix winks, and then takes a step. “Follow me.”

Seungmin takes the same step. Felix nods at their feet and steps back, with Seungmin following. He repeats the same steps, and looks up, seeing how Seungmin’s biting his lower lip in concentration, eyes probably drilling holes on Felix’s feet by now.

Felix can’t help it but laugh.

“Why?” Seungmin asks in a beat, looking up to meet Felix’s orbs. “I’m not careful enough, amn’t I? We’re dying because of my carelessness just like Yoon—”

“No, no,” Felix counters, patting Seungmin’s waist. “You’re doing good. Just—you don’t have to stare at our feet, okay? You can do it while looking at me.”

“Looking at you?”

Felix nods. “Yeah.”

And like the obedient human being that Seungmin is, he obliges. They continue the same steps, in a slow beat—one, two, three, and one, two, three—and Felix cheers him on, making sure to give little compliments to the other as they continue.

His face heats up as he noticed that Seungmin’s still gaping at him, and the latter probably won’t look away unless he says so. But the words got stuck in Felix’s throat, and all he manages is to look away.

He focuses on something else, like how the moon, the flowers, the fireflies and the flame nearby were all giving them light, just enough for Felix to see how Seungmin is staring at him.

Wait. That’s not something else. Focus on something else, dammit! He chides himself.

Felix clears his throat. He looks around until his eyes land on their hands clasped together. Just then he realizes how small his hand was compared to Seungmin’s. He could feel the calluses on Seungmin’s hands, too, which most likely came from catching food, to fighting off predators, to making flame for them at night.

He unconsciously brushes his thumb across those callouses, until it makes its way to Seungmin’s knuckles. The corner of his lips slightly tugs upward as he spots the mark from earlier, from when he accidentally hit the back of Seungmin’s hand instead of the snake. He thought of pulling it towards his lips to give it a kiss, like what his family does back home, but shakes his head at the thought.

What the fuck did he just think of right now?

Felix almost pulls his hand away, though, when Seungmin starts brushing his thumb across Felix’s hand, too. Carefully, gently, making Felix’s skin feel all tingly. But it was comforting. Minho-hyung has always done this when Felix had a nightmare, but with Seungmin doing it… It felt different.

Different, but welcoming. Like newfound warmth slowly spreading throughout his chest.

“Am I doing it correctly?” Seungmin asks, his voice in a hushed whisper, as if there was someone else to eavesdrop on their conversation.

Felix finds himself answering in the same voice, “Yeah.” He looks at Seungmin, whose gaze is concentrated on their hands. “It feels nice.”

A small voice in his head says he should probably tell Seungmin that an action this affectionate isn’t really a part of dancing, slow dance or not, but he shuts his mouth. It might be awkward if he says that.

“Dancing is usually accompanied with music,” Felix says instead. Seungmin doesn’t stop brushing his thumb against Felix’s hand, even though the latter has already halted.

“Like the one you sang before?”

“Yeah. It can be that—” Felix hums a bit of the song, “—or it can be like anything else.”

“Like…” Seungmin squints his eyes. Then, he starts humming a slow tune. One that Felix has never heard before. Is it something Seungmin learned on the Surface? Or is he actually… Is he actually coming up with a tune on the spot?

Not to mention—Seungmin has a lovely voice. And the guy’s just mindlessly singing. He’s not hitting high notes, he’s just trying to experiment with the sounds that’s coming out of his lips, and yet, he sounds so, so mesmerizing.

Chan-hyung, Changbin-hyung, and Jisung would all love him. He knows it.

He’s never heard a voice as hypnotizing as Seungmin’s before. It’s like it’s reeling him in, tempting him to lessen the proximity between them. How could this guy possibly despise singing before?

It was like Seungmin was born for it.

“But didn’t your singing before have words?” Seungmin halts.

Felix blinks, snapping out of the hypnotism. “It did. Why?”

“Then shouldn’t this one have words too?”

“It depends on you,” Felix answers. “Do you want to add words in it?”

“I think yeah.” Seungmin tilts his head. “Maybe like… What are we doing again?”

“Dancing. Slow dancing, to be precise.”

Seungmin hums the tune again, then he stays silent. It doesn’t take long, however, ‘til he continues, “Slow dance with you…”

Felix nods. He adores how the other sounded. Seungmin’s a natural at this.

“I just wanna slow dance with you… Something like that,” Seungmin laughs. He playfully, abruptly takes a step sideward, and Felix almost trips at the other’s spontaneity. Laughter echoes right after. “I’m not sure it sounds good.”

Felix rolls his eyes, though the smile on his lips was still evident. “It does! Maybe let’s do it like… Slow dance with you, I just wanna slow dance with you…” As Felix sings, Seungmin continues to hum along with him, “I know all the other boys are tough and smooth, but I got the blues…”

And their voices blend together as they both sing like they’ve practiced this song a million times before, “I wanna—slow dance with you.”

Felix doesn’t say it outloud. How he thinks just like how their hands perfectly fit like puzzle pieces, their voices blend together like two perfect melodies. 

He’s starting to become aware of how dangerously close they are now, how with just one step nearer Seungmin could probably start hearing how his heart’s running around like it’s in a marathon. He can feel the warmth emanating from his hand and know exactly when their fingers connect together.

As if the Surface was reading his thoughts, a firefly rests on their clasped hands, and Seungmin stops for a while, taken aback. Felix gives him a look that says it’s okay, it’s not going to harm them, and they’re certainly not going to die (provided that the books in the Burrow were correct about fireflies). 

He sees how Seungmin visibly relaxes after.

The firefly didn’t plan on staying there for long. It flew to the rest of the bunch surrounding them. Only now did Felix notice that there were so many, he could’ve called them mini-stars forming mini-universes or galaxies around the two of them.

He turns to look at Seungmin, who’s enamored by the sight.

And Felix adores Seungmin for the second time.

The other’s hair was being blown by the soft gusts, yet Seungmin himself was being blown away by the view. His eyes reflected the light of the fireflies, his lips parted ever so slightly in amazement. Then Felix thought of it again—how the moon, the flowers, the flame and the fireflies were giving him enough light to see how beautiful Seungmin is in the darkness.

How blind was he that he never thought of such a thing during the day?

“This.” Seungmin looks at Felix, and smiles. The newfound warmth nestled cozily onto Felix’s heart. “This is what it means to live, huh?”

“And so much more,” Felix says, squeezing Seungmin’s hand. “Do… You like it?”

Seungmin stays silent for a while.

Then, he answers, “I love it.”

Seungmin makes sure to wake up early the next day. Felix was still—like Bokkie—curled into a ball, Seungmin almost couldn’t see his figure underneath the coat. Only a tiny portion of Felix’s  feet could be seen at the bottom.

Seungmin stands up, stretches, and welcomes the strong wind hitting his face. Over the horizon, he could see how the sun is doing its slow stretch too, preparing to bathe the Surface with its warm rays of light.

He looks over to the two sleeping beings, and decides that they’re safe and nothing is possibly going to attack them at this moment. Almost all of the creatures in the Surface are asleep during this time of the day. Even the sun isn’t fully awake yet.

Seungmin makes his way to the nearby bushes, carefully picking berries he thinks Felix would like. He plucks a lot of strawberries, as he’s seen Felix eat a lot of it before. Then he proceeds to get blueberries, and raspberries.

As much as Seungmin likes berries, too, he can’t help but wish there’d be onions nearby. He’s eaten a lot of berries in his life, which is why he appreciates some variety here and there. There’s no nearby body of water for him to catch fish, though, and no other fruits other than berries are found, too.

Settle with berries, then. Besides, what’s important is Felix gets his breakfast. He had to learn the hard way that Burrow guy couldn’t start a day properly without food. Just how do they live in the Burrow?

His mind wanders back to last night, when Felix taught him about the little things he could do to ‘live’. To do anything else aside from worrying about predators or the weather or the Surface in general.

Were they usually like that back in the Burrow?

To which he remembers, Felix said last night, “You should try it once we go to the Burrow.”

‘We’.

Felix expects that Seungmin would go with him to the Burrow.

But… Could Seungmin accept such an offer?

Sure, it’s a nice thought. Almost everyone in the Surface, including his own former pack, would do anything to visit—or stay—in the Burrow. There’s security. No predators. In fact, from what he’s learned last night, they don’t even dwell in fear and actually have a lot of fun.

It’s almost like a paradise.

Seungmin picks the last piece of raspberry and goes back to where Felix and Bokkie are. There, he sees the two already awake, Felix laughing as Bokkie clucks around and limps from one place to the other.

As Seungmin goes nearer, Felix spots him. The latter greets him with a bright smile and waves his arms around, screaming, “Good morning!”

The berries in his hand seemed to grow heavier.

Seungmin thinks he’s decided on an answer to Felix’s offer.

This time, instead of going straight ahead or taking the right turn, they go left.

“This is where the old buildings are, right?” Felix asks, jumping over a fallen tree trunk.

Seungmin carefully goes over it. “It’s where we first met, right?”

Felix nods enthusiastically, urging Bokkie to jump over the tree trunk, too. He realized late that Bokkie’s still injured, so with frantic apologies coming out of Felix’s mouth, he goes near the chicken and helps their little friend go over the obstacle.

“But—” Seungmin starts playing with his spear, “—didn’t you say you wanted to find a way to go back to the Burrow?”

“Mhm.” Felix nods again, now tickling Bokkie. If that’s a thing. If chickens could be tickled. “I just thought about it earlier, when we were eating breakfast. What if I go back to where I started? That’ll surely take me back to the Burrow.” He laughs. “Don’t know why I didn’t think of it earlier.”

“Oh,” was only what Seungmin came up with. He clears his throat as silence envelopes them. Felix continues to play with Bokkie as they continue on their journey, and Seungmin can’t help but laugh when Felix does.

It registers to Seungmin that he won’t have anyone to laugh with the moment they do find the Burrow. He’s alone again… But that’s how it has always been before Felix, right? He's spent most of his life alone. He’s only spent a few nights with Felix.

You could go with Felix to the Burrow, though, a voice whispers in his head.

Seungmin shakes the thought away. Not the right time to get distracted. They’re on the Surface. He must think about the Surface, how it’s filled with so many dangers he has to be on alert all of the time. He’s on the Surface, so he’ll stick on thinking about the Surface.

They reach the ‘city’ of the Surface in no time. It’s one of the most dangerous spots from what Seungmin knows. The city is devoid of predators. But the thing is, even the predators don’t think of risking visiting such a place.

There are too many hazards for Seungmin to list down in the city.

He’s only been here the day he met Felix. He thought of visiting the old bookstore back then, wondering if there are spared books for him to read. When he was little, his pack had given him one—eaten by a tiger ten seconds later, though. Seungmin’s always wanted to finish reading a book. But instead of actually finding something to read, he found Felix instead.

“Be careful,” Seungmin says, grabbing Felix’s arm as they go down a narrow slope. Bokkie was held carefully by the other. “By the way, do you know which way to go?”

“Nope!” Felix says with a proud smile on his face, making Seungmin frown. “Don’t fret about it. Let’s explore a bit, and I think my instincts will guide us through.”

Seungmin resists the urge to roll his eyes. “Exploring is dangerous when you’re in the city. And instincts? Instincts?”

“Yeah, what of it?”

“Your instincts can kill you.”

“Sure it will.” Felix waves a dismissive hand and continues strolling forward.

Seungmin can see the excitement on the Burrow guy’s face when they finally reach the entrance of the city. They’re greeted by rows and rows of dilapidated apartments, pale and barely surviving after countless of nights.

“I’m going inside one!” Felix announces out of the blue, dashing towards a run down cerulean apartment, one of its walls barely hanging on. Before Seungmin could even nag the guy, the other has already rushed in, Bokkie still in hand.

Seungmin only sighs. The best he could do is make sure Felix is safe; or just alive enough to come back home to the Burrow.

With no choice left, Seungmin follows.

He’s seen these buildings before, but he never actually thought of visiting one. He always thought there wasn’t anything to see inside. It’s just damaged property and burnt belongings. What could he possibly take interest in?

Felix’s the exact opposite.

The moment they went inside, sounds of amazement left Felix’s lips as he ran towards one furniture to the other. For Seungmin… Nothing was really fascinating. Sofa with its springs already sticking out? A canvas so shattered you couldn’t even identify what the painting was?

What Felix says next surprises Seungmin.

“It reminds me of home.”

Seungmin looks around the place. Bokkie was also not interested in exploring the building.

He doesn’t understand.

“This is the living room,” Felix continues, running his hand across the sofa Seungmin was looking at earlier. Then, he moves towards the table. “Then this is the dining room. They must’ve been a small family.” Felix goes through one of the doors, and Seungmin goes after him. “The kitchen. My sacred place.”

Seungmin raises an eyebrow. “Come again?”

“It’s my comfort place back at the Burrow,” Felix supplies, smiling at the broken appliances sprawled before them. Seungmin couldn’t make out what those were. “I bake, you see. But I also try cooking with Minho-hyung sometime! It’s what I love doing the most. I just feel… Content, and happy, when I do stuff in the kitchen.”

“It’s… Living?” Seungmin guesses.

Felix’s eyes form into crescents. “Exactly. You catch up quickly.” He sighs, and plops on the floor, literally laying down there.

“I don’t think you should do that,” Seungmin says.

“It reminds me of home,” Felix says again, confusing Seungmin. He was close to thinking that the houses in the Burrow were exactly like this—tattered, messy. But Felix adds, “but our house, of course, was livelier. And I had my family, too.”

The joy in Felix’s eyes fade away, now staring blankly at the sky above them. He laughs shortly after, but it sounded strained. “And we had ceilings. Sometimes the Burrow system likes to imitate the ‘rain’.”

“You—you imitate the rain.”

“And many things that the Surface provides you.” Felix stands up this time. He brushes off his clothes, calls for Bokkie, and smiles at Seungmin. “Let’s explore more of the place, shall we?”

“But you have to go home,” Seungmin argues. He frowns as he catches up onto Felix and Bokkie, who were already out of the apartment. How could they walk so fast? “Our priority is finding the entrance to the Burrow and getting you home safely.”

Felix halts in his steps, his back still facing Seungmin.

He doesn’t turn around when he replies, “We should treasure our time on the Surface before going to the Burrow, I think. Wouldn’t you miss the place a bit?”

There’s the word again.

‘We.’

Seungmin has to tell Felix his decision before they get there.

Their next destination was, according to Felix, a music store. It’s filled with equipment that Seungmin hasn’t laid his eyes on before, but luckily Felix knew every single thing inside the building.

“Oh, I think you’ll love this one!” Felix runs (no matter how much Seungmin scolds, Felix just keeps running) towards one of the equipment hanging at the top part of the store. The Burrow guy tiptoes to reach, but still couldn’t. 

Seungmin laughs. He goes behind Felix, noticing how the other visibly tenses. Seungmin effortlessly stretches his arm to reach the equipment, which was the shape of a peanut, also the size of a peanut, but colored brown instead of peach.

The equipment’s covered in dust and cobwebs. Seungmin stares at it once it was in front of him—it had six strings from top to bottom, and a small hole in the middle. Was it perhaps some sort of bow and arrow from way back? Did Felix think that Seungmin would be skillful enough to use one as a weapon?

Felix turns around, and Seungmin adverts his gaze as the latter stands before him. Seungmin finds it amusing how Felix’s orbs search for his, and how the other has to look up because of their height difference. When their eyes meet, however, Seungmin stills in place and almost forgets to breathe.

Felix blinks slowly, a small smile on his face. He doesn’t break eye contact even though a blush spreads across his freckled cheeks, and somehow Seungmin thinks that his own cheeks are painted red, too.

Felix looks beautiful when he blinks.

Seungmin is aware they’re standing close together, just like the night before. But this close, and with the help of daylight, he sees the way Felix’s eyelashes flutter, and Seungmin can count all his freckles as a result.

Their eyes lock with each other as they both just stand there, frozen like that.

“Thank you,” Felix finally says after a few seconds have passed, causing Seungmin’s heart to beat fast. Seungmin swallows thickly but nods, averting his gaze somewhere else.

“No problem,” Seungmin answers in a small voice, handing Felix the equipment he just got. He takes deep, steady breaths to hopefully calm down his raging heart.

Felix clears his throat, making Seungmin look at him again. He sees how Felix’s cheeks are still in the same shade, but decides to not dwell on that little detail or else his heart might actually burst out of his chest right now.

He hears Bokkie cluck, as if letting them know that they had an audience. Felix merely chuckles and positions the peanut-like equipment, holding it by the neck and hugging the rest of its figure.

Felix tilts his head and plucks one of the strings. Then, he shrugs. “I actually don’t know how to play this. But it makes music, too.”

“A weapon that makes music?” Seungmin asks, wondering how a bow and arrow is capable of doing so.

“It’s an instrument, actually,” Felix says, carefully placing it down. Seungmin’s eyes never left the instrument, however. “Musical instrument. Not a weapon… Though I guess it could be if you use it wisely.”

“That’s fascinating.” Seungmin smiles. “It was made for two purposes.”

“I guess you could say that.” Felix mirrors the other’s smile and quickly looks away. “I just thought you would look—do! I meant ‘do’. You would do well with a guitar, I meant.”

Seungmin merely blinks, trying to process the words that came rushing out of the other. He stares at the guitar again, admitting to himself that it did look better than his spear. Maybe with a little polishing, it’d look fantastic, even.

“Jisung knows how to play one.”

Seungmin purses his lips. “I’ve never heard of this Jisung.”

“It’s because he’s a Burrow,” says Felix. He starts to roam around the store, looking at the other equipment—or were those musical instruments, too?—as he says, “once we go there, just say you’re interested to learn, and he’ll be more than happy to teach you!”

As Felix turns around to look at Seungmin, the latter decides it’s the best time to find random objects inside the store interesting. He crouches and picks up a small piece of equipment, triangular in shape and must’ve been silver before, but was now only covered in rusts.

“Ah, that’s a triangle,” Felix says from behind him.

Seungmin only nods. He turns the triangle around, even though there wasn’t really anything else to see aside from the rusts. He doesn’t ask how it works or how such a thing could even produce a sound, especially music, because his mind wanders to the same, dreading topic again.

It’s best that he says it now, isn’t it? They’re on the topic anyway. If Felix disagrees, he’d have more time to argue his point of view and, hopefully, convince Felix that this is when it all ends.

“Hey, Felix,” Seungmin finally says, the words feeling heavy as it leaves his lips. His mouth feels dry as he thinks of the next words to say, how to say it, what to do after it and—

“Yeah?” Felix’s deep voice snaps him out of his thoughts.

Seungmin takes a deep breath and starts, “I’ve been thinking about something.” He stands up and faces Felix, greeted by his intense gaze. Seungmin’s eyes flick nervously between Felix’s orbs and the floor. “I…”

I’ve decided to not go with you to the Burrow. The Surface is where I live and… And I don’t think the Burrow could even accept someone like me. It’s a whole new civilization and what—what if they don’t even want an outsider like me? What if your people won’t take in my kind?

The thought, somehow, scares Seungmin. He turns around again and busies himself with scurrying through old pieces of wood and metal and strings, thinking about how he and Felix are so different from each other it made his heart ache a little. They were both humans—had the same kind of necessities, but in the end… Were from different places.

Felix’s world—it was a place Seungmin could only gawk at. Or, well, he doubts he could even get a glimpse of this so-called Burrow.

“You can tell me,” Felix says softly, following Seungmin. The latter looks over his shoulder and sees Felix waiting, Bokkie now in his arms again.

Seungmin shakes his head and waves a dismissive hand. “I’m actually quite hungry.”

“Oh.”

The word sounded heavy, laced with what Seungmin interpreted as disappointment. Maybe Felix expected something more. Maybe he knew Seungmin wanted to say more.

A smile tugs at the corner of Seungmin’s lips, but he keeps it there and doesn’t meet Felix’s eyes as he says, “We’ve got leftover berries. Or do you want to check the old can of beans you’ve mentioned before?”

Felix chuckles and rolls his eyes. “I’d have the strawberries instead, please.”

There were multiple times when Seungmin had witnessed Felix’s eyes sparkle.

He knows how expressive Felix’s eyes are. He can read the Burrow guy like an open book, see the other’s emotions as if it was captured by a transparent glass. As he stares at Felix’s orbs now, he sees wonder—which is almost unbelievable when you’re stepping inside another beaten infrastructure, but hey, it’s Felix.

Sometimes Seungmin wonders if this is Felix’s first life.

Maybe he’s lucky enough to be a part of it.

“What the…” Felix exclaims, mouth left hanging open as he runs inside and crouches near a fallen object, inspecting it like a predator eyeing a prey. Except Felix looks like he doesn’t have any intention to jump on it, much less tear it down to pieces and have it for dinner later.

Felix hovers his fingers over the thin structure, still enamored by the sight of it. He then pauses, fiddling with his fingers and pursing his lips as if in deep thought.

Seungmin crouches, too, and asks, “What is it?”

“A bike,” Felix answers, still staring at the object.

“Okay… What does it do?”

“It—well—it can take you to places.”

“I have my legs for that.”

Felix doesn’t reply.

Seungmin decides to let a few beats pass before he speaks again. “Is it dangerous?”

It takes Felix a few beats before answering, too. “No, not really. Look, I’m in one piece even though I always love riding this to school. It’s… Hold on, let me show you.”

Seungmin finds himself smiling as Felix finally lifts the bike up, but couldn’t exactly imagine how the Burrow guy is going to ride it.

He watches Felix check the circles at the lower part of the bike and hear the Burrow guy mumble about it (fortunately) not being flat. Seungmin, for once in his life, doesn’t understand this thing they’ve found in the Surface.

But he listens. He listens to Felix saying that the bike he’s had at the Burrow is blue, and has a bell that he likes ringing the moment he reaches home or passes by the flower shop opening on his way to school. His favorite thing about his bike is the basket at the front, because it helps him transport his stuff easier, and because it looks cute with the little ribbon at the front. He got the bike for his twelfth birthday—whatever that meant—and treasured it ever since.

Seungmin’s gaze doesn’t leave Felix’s face even though he really can’t understand most of the words that tumbles out the Burrow guy now. The glint in Felix’s eyes was enough for Seungmin to realize he didn’t want to disturb the other’s moment just by asking silly questions.

“Hey, what if…” Felix pushes the bike lightly, and the circles at the bottom—tires, from what Seungmin remembers—spin. Seungmin unconsciously grips his spear tighter before realizing that that’s what it’s supposed to do. “What if you try it?”

Seungmin almost misses the question.

He looks at the bike, then at Felix. “You sure?”

“Yeah. Sure,” Felix replies almost immediately. He gives Seungmin the bike, with Seungmin hesitating to accept. Holding the handles mainly feels weird, and he’s not sure if he can get on without making a fool of himself, but Felix thinks otherwise. He feels the other’s gentle touch on his back, and Felix says quietly, “Go on.”

“How do I exactly…”

“Put one foot on the other side, then sit here.” Seungmin does as he’s told, and Felix showers him with compliments for doing the bare minimum. Like back when they danced, Seungmin thought. It makes his heart miss a beat.

“Okay, then, you just have to pedal.” Felix points at those square-ish parts and says that all Seungmin should do is step on it and push. Seungmin looks at where he’s placing his feet and nods, making sure to follow what Felix instructs him to do, and it wasn’t a solid minute before Seungmin got the bike to move.

It wasn’t a solid minute, though, before he falls and crashes forward, as well.

They take it outside, because according to Felix it’s much safer there. Again, Seungmin doesn’t understand—how is trying something new in a place jam packed with hazards safer than when they were inside?

But then again, Seungmin wasn’t really knowledgeable about bikes. Maybe riding it outside lessens the chance of them falling over.

Seungmin pedals.

No, it doesn’t.

“Whoa! Easy there,” Felix says, setting his own bike aside and running towards Seungmin. As he stands up, he catches sight of Bokkie sitting comfortably on the basket at the front. He’s pretty sure the little chicken is close to sleeping by now. Seungmin also silently wonders why his bike doesn’t include a little basket.

“You okay?” Felix asks as he helps Seungmin stand up.

“Ye—” Seungmin halts and starts brushing off the dirt on his clothes, “—no. I don’t understand bikes.”

Felix laughs, assisting Seungmin to get on again. “You’ll get the hang of it. When I was younger, I used to have a lot of teddy bear band-aids around my body from falling off bikes. You’re lucky you’re not injured.”

Seungmin doesn’t understand some of the words Felix mentions, but he can’t bring himself to ask because— “You said this wasn’t dangerous.”

“Yeah, well, just—” Felix squints his eyes and gives off a sheepish smile, “—be careful.”

“So, like, dancing?”

Felix snaps his fingers. “Yeah! Exactly.”

Seungmin looks at his feet again. Seeing how enthusiastic Felix is about this makes him wonder if this is also one of the things that people in the Burrow do for “fun”.

“Nope, just look up, Mister.” Felix gets his attention by grabbing his chin and making him look up. “There! Maybe that’s why you kept falling. Lookup, Seungminnie.”

Seungmin blinks at the nickname. He doesn’t want to admit how cute it was, so he says instead, “Third rule, Felix. Looking up will kill you.”

“No, no, not up up, not the sky. Forward. Ahead. Look ahead. Don’t look down on your feet because that is what will kill you.”

Seungmin gulps and takes a deep breath. Then, with a nod of encouragement from Felix, he pushes his feet against the pedals again. It was hard—he kept looking down, making sure his feet were pedalling correctly—but Felix kept on shouting, reminding him to look up, to look forward and to not hesitate. It takes great effort for Seungmin to peel his eyes away, scared that he’ll keep on wobbling and eventually fall.

But he eventually looks forward.

The sight almost took his breath away.

Living. That’s what first came to mind.

To witness something breathtaking that you get lost in its beauty for a moment.

Seungmin has been living on the Surface for countless days and nights by now. He knows which plants are poisonous or edible; which paths are filled or devoid of predators; which waters are safe enough to bathe in.

But he’s never known that the Surface he’s always lived on could be this beautiful.

Seungmin feels warm, and he’s sure it’s not from the daylight casting a soft glow on him, and everything around him. Seungmin thinks it’s how he’s only noticed now that this city—old, run down, and filled with rubble—is the only place in the Surface where the past combines itself with the present. There were purple trees and flowers growing past four feet, but also buildings that dated way back before the Surface became what it is today.

It somehow makes him wonder what would the Surface be like if an existing civilization was present; if that was even possible.

If it would feel as warm as it does right now.

“That’s it!” Felix cheers from behind.

Seungmin fades out of his reverie.

So does the warmth in his chest when he realizes that all this time, he’s finally gotten the hang of it. He feels a rush of excitement throughout his body and he laughs in disbelief as he continues to pedal. He’s gotten it, he’s riding a bike and having fun and—

Seungmin looks back, pleased to see that Felix is behind him, pedalling with Bokkie still in the little basket, eyes closed and tongue out, but Seungmin was sure the little thing was just enjoying the fresh breeze hitting their faces.

Seungmin laughs. Felix’s hair was being blown by the wind, the sunlight making more of his freckles show, and Seungmin wants to memorize how happy and beautiful the Burrow guy looks as of the moment.

Unfortunately, the joy doesn’t last long. Felix’s face morphs into fear, his eyes widening and his laughter fading into screams, making Bokkie open his eyes and even the chicken starts clucking in panic, as well. Felix stops the bike, screaming for Seungmin to do the same and look ahead, but it was only when Seungmin’s heart drops, literally, that he looks and sees he’s falling.

“Shit.”

He, along with the bike, falls down the slope he didn’t see coming. Seungmin curses because he doesn’t know how to stop and the bike doesn’t stop even though he’s taken his feet off the pedals. At this point he couldn’t come up with a coherent thought aside from the curse words running around his head.

The hill becomes steeper, the tires spinning faster, and Seungmin’s welcomed by a new view—water rushing downwards a lake, and it’s getting bigger—no, Seungmin is getting nearer, and he thinks about it the last minute—he jumps off the bike and into the lake.

Seungmin knows how to swim.

At that moment, however, he doesn’t think of anything.

It’s dark. It’s cold.

Seungmin feels helpless.

For some reason, Felix comes to mind. The panic on the other’s face, the fear in his voice.

Seungmin tries to erase the memory. He instead thinks about how Felix looked like when they were still enjoying the bikes. The glint in his eyes and his hair swept to the side. The smile on his face that was hard to not mirror back. The laughter that seemed to echo throughout the entire Surface, it was a surprise predators haven’t gotten to them yet.

The predators… Felix.

Seungmin finds himself pushing upward.

He’s survived countless situations. He isn’t letting the shock get the best of him and drowning now.

And Felix.

He… He can’t quite put words into it.

But the thought of Felix makes him push his feet again.

By some miracle, a hand reaches out to him.

Felix.

That’s all Seungmin could think of as he swims. Felix is who he thinks about as he reaches for the hand and as the other hoists him out of the water. Felix is who he thinks of as he finally gasps for air and hugs the person who saved him, eyes shut tight as he savors the warmth.

“Whoa, dude…”

Seungmin stills.

It’s not Felix.

He abruptly pulls away from the hug and sees a stranger before him. Seungmin stares as the stranger stares back, equally surprised, equally confused. The stranger then fixes his hair, shows a smile that makes Seungmin uneasy, and says weirdly, “Hey.”

Naturally, Seungmin throws a punch.

“Seungmin! Seungmin, are you—”

Seungmin turns his head to the familiar voice. Relief washes over him as he sees Felix and Bokkie. The chicken jumps out of the basket, still clucking and limping as he made his way towards Seungmin. Once Felix had set his bike aside, he grabs Bokkie and runs to Seungmin, squeezing him with a hug so tight that leaves Seungmin surprised.

Seungmin smiles softly, and rubs Felix’s back in comforting circles.

“I’m okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

The apology catches Seungmin off guard.

“I should’ve—the brakes, how to brake, I didn’t—”

“Hey, Felix,” Seungmin interrupts softly. He gently pulls Felix away from the hug to take a better look at the other. Between them, Bokkie coos faintly. “I’m okay now.”

“But…”

“It’s not your fault.” Seungmin rubs the back of his neck. “I got carried away. I should’ve seen that slope.”

“I should’ve taught you how to brake.”

That makes Seungmin chuckle a little. “Then we’re both at fault, okay?”

Felix merely nods, and they both fall into a peal of laughter with Bokkie laughing in his own chicken way. Seungmin lets himself drown in the sound, unaware that their hands are clasped together, unaware that Bokkie has taken notice of the stranger passed out at the side.

Bokkie gets their attention by clucking.

The laughter dies, and Felix’s hand leaves Seungmin’s.

“Jisung.”

Their surroundings were already dark but Jisung didn’t show any signs of waking up. He had a bruise formed on his left cheek, probably where Seungmin punched him. Felix sighs. It’s going to be more painful once Jisung wakes up.

He grabs the shawl that Jisung has brought with him and goes near Seungmin, who was sitting nearby and staring vacantly at the fire he created.

His hair and clothes were still damp. Felix hands him the shawl, but Seungmin only takes a glance and says, “Use it for your friend.”

“But you’re cold.”

“And so is he.” Seungmin rubs his hands together and brings it closer to the fire. “The difference is I’m used to the Surface’s temperature during the night and he’s not. If you’re also cold, I think my coat should do. Though it’s still wet, I think.”

Felix looks at the coat that Seungmin hung on a tree. He says nothing and does as he’s told, carefully wrapping Jisung with the shawl and hoping that the guy will wake up soon. Felix has a lot to ask—why did Jisung come, how did he even manage to reach the Surface, and just how long has he been here already.

Ever since Felix said Jisung’s a friend of his, Seungmin remained silent. Distant. He apologized for punching Jisung, and after that… They never really talked much. Even Bokkie stayed quiet and stayed close to Seungmin.

Said guy clears his throat, making Felix look at him. Seungmin meets his gaze, looks away, then looks back at Felix again.

“Felix.”

He maintains eye contact.

“What is it?”

Seungmin breaks it.

“I’m not going with you to the Burrow.”

A silence ensues.

Felix shouldn’t be surprised. Or he never should’ve kept the tiny flame of hope in his chest alive, foolishly believing that Seungmin would want to go with him. The words that came out of Seungmin’s mouth snuffed out the flame like icy-cold water.

Felix stops breathing for a second, and he feels himself start. It’s his turn to break eye contact this time.

He wants to ask Seungmin if he’s sure. He wants to ask if they could negotiate of some sort. He’s starting to believe he could even get down on his knees and ask Seungmin to change his mind, but all he comes up with is, “Okay.”

Felix doesn’t look, but the confusion in Seungmin’s voice was evident. “Okay?”

“Yeah…” Felix shrugs. His voice is small and he only looks down, afraid that if he did something more he’ll break. He doesn’t say anything else, doesn’t explain why he said okay, and he certainly doesn’t take his word back.

Bokkie coos, and Felix looks at his little fella. The chicken’s eyes looked seemingly apologetic. He flapped around his wings and went over to Seungmin, nuzzling against the said guy’s feet.

Felix swallows thickly and wipes the forming tears.

He feels a hand on his shoulder, and looks over to see that Jisung is already awake. The bruise on his cheek doesn’t look any better, but Jisung showed no signs of pain.

“We should go.”

The pitying look Jisung is giving him suggests that the guy has been awake long enough to eavesdrop on Felix’s conversation with Seungmin. He presses his lips together and clenches his fist, but takes a deep breath to subdue the rising emotions in his chest.

At least he doesn’t have to explain to Jisung on their way back.

Felix drags his orbs to where Seungmin is; still by the fire, his gaze as far as the Ozone Layer, not even batting an eye to say goodbye to Felix, at least.

And that’s what ticked him off.

He can understand if Seungmin doesn’t want to go with him. He admitted to himself that it’s his own fault for raising his hopes up—but he isn’t foolish to expect his friend to say goodbye, right? To expect that the person he’s survived with, lived with, on the Surface to acknowledge him as he leaves is natural, right?

It’s not like they’re separating on bad terms.

They’re just… Separating forever.

Felix doesn’t even bother wiping the tear that escaped.

Right. Maybe that’s why.

How would you even say goodbye to a friend that you wouldn’t see for the rest of your life, ever again?

But still… To just end it like this… 

“We gotta get going, Sunshine,” Jisung prompts, resting his palm on Felix’s back as he stands up. “Chan-hyung and Minho-hyung are waiting for us back there.”

“Back… Where?” Felix asks.

Jisung smiles. And Felix has to admit—it was nice seeing an old friend’s smile. “The entrance to the Burrow. Or the exit to the Surface, whatever you’d like to call it.”

Felix’s lips part at the information, and it takes a while before he could come up with a coherent sentence, “What—entrance, like… How did you guys find it?”

“There’s a lot of entrances-slash-exits actually, and it’s a long story, I’m telling you,” Jisung says, rolling his eyes, but the smile never leaves his face, “but the entrance-slash-exit I just came from isn’t that far from here.”

Felix nods. He’s wrapping his head around the fact that Chan-hyung, Minho-hyung and Jisung all escaped the Burrow premises just so they could find him again and bring him back home. His heart melts at the thought of it. His family had always believed he was still alive. They never gave up on him.

“So, you ready?” Jisung asks.

Felix isn’t sure.

The reason he’s done his best to survive the Surface and explore it was to find a way back home. But it doesn’t sound as enticing as it used to be. He misses his family, he really does… But he’ll miss Seungmin, too.

Felix looks back, only to see Seungmin already staring.

His face was devoid of any emotions, lips as flat as a line, Felix can’t even make out what Seungmin must have been feeling right now. This shoots Felix’s heart up into his throat and he diverts his attention elsewhere, not wanting to dwell on a sight that makes his stomach churn and eyes well up.

Felix feels Jisung hold his hand and give it a light squeeze.

Felix puts on the bravest smile he can manage at the moment. “I’m ready now.”

Only the soft crackling of fire could be heard once the footsteps fade away.

And it should have brought Seungmin peace.

His night was quiet again. No more endless questions and childish bickering. No more staying awake for a little while to keep watch of the other, or scolding him that they couldn’t and shouldn’t watch how the stars sparkle for the night. Seungmin got his original, tranquil life back—exactly what he has been longing for ever since Felix had joined him.

But it never felt as peaceful as he expected it to be.

Rather, he felt… Empty. The emptiness brought more noise than his surroundings did. His mind was swarming with regrets; what-if’s and should-have-had. The emptiness in his heart made it feel more heavy than it should.

Seungmin buries his face in his hands and sighs. Against his feet, little Bokkie coos, as if empathizing with him. Seungmin wants to be grateful that the chicken stayed, even though he probably didn’t deserve the company, anyway.

This was his decision.

He didn’t decide blindly. He thought about it, he’s sure of that. He thought of the Surface and how he’s been here his whole life so what if something bad happens if he suddenly decides to leave it? He thought of the Burrow and how he supposedly got a taste of it courtesy of Felix, but what if he couldn’t adapt to the actual thing?

Seungmin takes a shaky breath. Yeah, he thought about it. He didn’t decide blindly.

But maybe he was blinded by fear.

Blinded by the fear of change and welcoming something new, because he’s never welcomed something so extreme in his life. To blend in with a civilization he wasn’t familiar with, or doesn’t have any gist of.

He was afraid of what Felix would say once he told him about his decision—and yet Felix had taken it lightly. Okay, the Burrow guy had said. Okay and then, after that, he’s ready to leave. Ready to leave Seungmin behind, respecting his decision. Ready to go back home, to where he belongs.

A part of Seungmin expected that Felix would ask him why and lend him a hand, help him understand that Seungmin will be okay in the Burrow because they’re together, like he always did when he introduced something new to Seungmin—dancing, riding a bike, living.

But he was afraid and let the fear get the best of him, freezing him so that he couldn’t even say goodbye to Felix. He knows the other was waiting for it. He saw how Felix waited, anticipated that Seungmin would at least say something after dropping that bomb of staying on the Surface a little too late.

To put it simply, Seungmin’s a coward.

Bokkie looks up at him, as if sensing his bad mood and regrets. Seungmin only stares back, like he wasn’t able to do earlier even though he wanted to. His mind wanders back to that moment; Felix expecting more from him, Felix understanding that once he leaves they would never see each other again.

The chicken tilts his head, and even though Seungmin can’t read an animal’s body language that much, he felt like Bokkie was asking him, “Really?”

Really?

Would Seungmin really leave it here and live the rest of his life regretting it? Because he knows for sure the last that he saw of Felix was etched in his mind, how betrayed the Burrow guy looked and how hurt he must have felt.

Could he really go on with this? Without Felix?

He takes a good look at Bokkie, whose eyes never left his. Seungmin gives him a nod, stands up and says, “I’ll go to the Burrow.”

Bokkie clucks and flaps his wings in response, making Seungmin smile. There was enough light for the night, and for him to travel the Surface without a torch, so Seungmin seizes his coat and was about to grab Bokkie with his free arm, but the chicken clucks loudly and jumps away from him.

Seungmin frowns. “You’re not coming with me?”

Bokkie clucks again, then runs.

“Hey—” He finds himself running after the chicken, draping his coat over his shoulder as he did so. He wants to call Bokkie but they were entering a forest now, and that doesn’t guarantee them safety from predators unlike when they were in the city. He remains silent, instead, and set his eyes on Bokkie as he tried his best to follow.

Seungmin picks up his speed, because it was obvious by now that Bokkie wasn’t slowing down. Wasn’t this chicken just limping earlier? But now, look at him—running like it was on a marathon, jumping over roots and fallen logs like it was nothing.

Where was Bokkie running towards, anyway? The chicken was in a hurry, Seungmin could say that much. He didn’t appreciate it. When Bokkie cranked his head to look, Seungmin made sure to give a scowl.

It seems like that only made Bokkie run faster.

Seungmin grunts as he dashes, keeping an eye for unexpected guests as he goes. They were going deeper into the woods that after a few sprints, the trees would’ve been tall enough to fully block the moonlight. Just as Seungmin tries to come up with a solution for running in the darkness, Bokkie goes left.

He almost stops in his tracks, taken aback by the spontaneity of the chicken—of all living things—and steers to the left, as well. The path there is clear; no bushes or trees, the surroundings well-lit enough for him to see.

Seungmin swears that once he gets his hands on that chicken (and which he means, once he’s able to carry Bokkie), he’ll try to let the little fella understand that it’s important Bokkie joins him in this journey to the Burrow. Imagine the look on Felix’s face when he sees Bokkie’s present, too!

And Seungmin will make sure to tell Felix about this little adventure. First, of course, he’s going to apologize. He’s not sure how he’ll do it, but he’s hoping that the words will come to him once he and Felix meet. Then, after that, maybe… They can squabble and Felix can throw one question after the other again.

Maybe, Felix would still welcome him with open arms. Hopefully, it won’t take long for Seungmin to find the entrance. Even if it seemed impossible. Even when it was the two of them, it took how long to discover it—well, actually, they never found the entrance to the Burrow at all.

Seungmin shakes his head. He tries to blink the tears out of his eyes because it’s making his vision blurry, and he’s afraid he’d lose sight of Bokkie or lose hope by the end of it all.

Once the tears vacant his orbs, Seungmin abruptly halts.

For a split second, he thought he was a witch. Casted a spell where he’d think of a person, and voila, said person is in front of him. Just like how he pictured himself in front of Felix, and suddenly Felix is standing before him like he had just appeared out of thin air, out of nowhere.

The words never came to Seungmin. He just stood there, like an idiot, staring at Felix as the latter stared back. It was like the words he was searching for were knocking at his head or clawing at his throat, but never got out. It just stayed there, painfully so. 

The words he was hoping for turned into tears, and tears were all he could give to Felix. The tears flooded with regrets, with apologies that he wished he could just say out loud.

Bokkie is looking at Seungmin and Felix, back and forth. Seungmin almost laughs as realization dawns on him; Bokkie was leading him to Felix all along.

But he doesn’t laugh. He stays there, wiping his tears and pushing the others back to his chest. He can’t afford to waste time by crying. He hasn’t even cried for countless days and nights now, so why would he tonight?

Seungmin sniffles and locks his puffy eyes with Felix’s. Unlike all the other times they’ve spent together, Seungmin couldn’t read him now. It’s as if Felix had finally closed the book and locked it with the key thrown away.

Then, Felix takes a step.

Seungmin swallows thickly as Felix goes nearer. He urges himself to meet Felix halfway, but his feet are stubbornly glued to the ground and at this point he couldn’t come up with any coherent thought—just like when he was falling down that slope. All he could do is feel and now, he feels stupid, helpless yet once again.

Felix is now only a step away from Seungmin. He presses his lips together to what looked like a smile, and the next thing that Seungmin knew was that the Burrow guy was hugging him.

His throat constricted, his chest felt as if it was about to cave in on itself, and he could no longer hold it all back. It was as if some dam had been broken somewhere inside of him, and his heart had burst free, flooding his body with emotion.

“Hey, it’s okay,” whispers Felix.

Seungmin shakes his head and buries it against the crook of Felix’s neck. He mumbles an “I’m sorry” over and over again, though there were small chances that Felix could understand him in this state right now.

And Felix took those small chances. He pats Seungmin’s back, and says, “It’s okay.”

“I was a coward,” Seungmin says through gritted teeth. He feels Felix slowly pull away from the hug, but he buries his head again because he’s not sure he can look at Felix without being a crying mess. “I should’ve at least said goodbye, or hugged you goodbye, or explained things to you—”

“Yeah, I know,” Felix cuts him off. Seungmin could feel Felix bury his own face on the former’s shoulder. “But you don’t have to do it anymore.”

Seungmin contemplates the other’s words. For some reason, did Felix already know that he changed his mind at the last minute? Was there some entity that told Felix they’d meet here and Seungmin would say he’s joining him?

Curiosity getting the best of him, Seungmin detaches himself and looks at Felix, whose eyes are sort of puffy, too. “So, you mean…”

“Yeah.”

“You knew I’m going to the Burrow—”

“I’m staying on the Surface—”

Their voices overlapped with each other, sentences colliding against one another but Seungmin had heard it clearly, and it made his brows knit together and lips pulled into a frown.

He observes Felix’s face, who is equally incredulous, as well. “Wait, what do you—”

“You’re going?”  

They said the same thing at the same time again.

Felix raises a hand, then starts again, “I’ve changed my mind. The moment we were in there, even though I didn’t look up I just knew there was this… This cover above me and it felt suffocating and—and I just told them, right there, that I’d rather stay on the Surface.”

“But… Your family…” Was all that Seungmin managed to stay.

Felix darts his gaze elsewhere, and Seungmin regrets saying such a thing without thinking about it first. Of course Felix considered his family. He talked nothing but reuniting with his family again, so it wasn’t an easy decision for Felix to just stay on the Surface forever.

“They understand,” supplies Felix, giving the other a soft smile.

“So—so you’re actually staying here?”

Bokkie jumps in place, and Felix laughs. Seungmin’s heart almost speeds out of his chest at the sound of it. It wasn’t even long before he last heard it, but it felt like a hundred nights had already passed.

Felix nods. “I have to.”

Seungmin raises an eyebrow, but the teasing smile on Felix’s face makes him smile back. “You have to?”

“Hmm,” Felix hums, sitting down on the ground and patting the space beside him. Bokkie sits comfortably on Felix’s lap, and Seungmin goes to join them both. “I have one more rule to break.”

Seungmin doesn’t understand at first, but when Felix looks up, he does the same, and the sight snatches his breath away. His lips part, his eyes widening ever so slightly, and suddenly he understands why Felix was so eager to always look up, to stare at the ‘portion of the galaxy sprawled above them’, and rest his gaze there.

“It’s—”

“Beautiful,” Felix says, making Seungmin look at the other, who was already looking at him. “I could finally see the stars.”

“The Burrow didn’t replicate the stars?”

Felix chuckles under his breath and shakes his head. He fixates his eyes on the sky again. “Impossible.”

Seungmin nods. He can’t imagine something this magnificent being easily replicated.

“Third rule broken and we’re not killed,” Felix says, leaning his head on Seungmin’s shoulder. Seungmin makes himself comfortable and rests his head on the other’s, as well. “Hey, I can finally see Virgo from here.”

Another term Seungmin couldn’t understand, but as usual, he doesn’t ask, either.

Because between the both of them, it was always Felix who asked.

“What’s your zodiac sign?”

Seungmin debates with himself whether to be honest or not. Then, with a sigh he says, “I don’t know what that is.”

“Oh, just tell me your birthday.”

“I don’t have one.”

Felix abruptly shifts in his seat, giving Seungmin a look as if the latter was saying the Surface was going to split into two by a giant turtle. Felix must’ve been checking if Seungmin was joking, but realizing that the latter is serious, he says, “Well… I’ll give you one.”

He doesn’t really know why a birthday sounds so important, like it’s a matter of life or death, but he humors Felix. “Okay, how?”

“Easy!” Felix claps his hands, startling Bokkie. “Ah, sorry. Anyway, Seungmin, just give me a number from one to twelve!”

“A number. Just one?”

“Yep.”

“Why give me twelve options when I’m supposed to choose just one?”

Felix rolls his eyes. “That’s the rule. Don’t you love rules?”

Seungmin pouts. “Fine. Nine.”

Felix’s eyes sparkle up, as if someone put little stars inside his orbs. He nods enthusiastically, and says, “Next, choose a number from—ah, wait—” He counts something on his knuckles, then continues, “—one to thirty.”

“That’s a lot of numbers,” Seungmin comments. There are thirty numbers, thirty options to choose from—and he’s allowed to choose just one?

“I know, but I recommend fifteen.”

“Fifteen?”

“Yeah! Don’t you think it’s nice?”

One and five? “Okay.”

More stars sparkle inside Felix’s orbs. “Okay? Seriously?”

“I choose twenty-two,” Seungmin says, and the pout on Felix’s face was hard to miss. He prevents the laughter from escaping his throat, but he doesn’t hold back the smile on his lips. “What? It’s cool. It has two two’s. You get me?”

Felix mumbles something incoherent, but eventually says, “Yeah, I guess. So… Nine and twenty-two?”

Seungmin only nods. Felix sighs and rests his head on Seungmin’s shoulder again, before he points toward the sky. “At least we’re both Virgos. There’s the constellation. You see it?”

Seungmin doesn’t know what a Virgo is, or a constellation, and he doesn’t see what exactly he’s supposed to see.

Instead, he hums. He hums softly until it turns into a familiar tune that he once sang with Felix, at night, under the beauty of the stars, and with Bokkie, and with the warmth in his chest.

“Slow dance,” Felix whispers. He yawns shortly after.

“We can sleep here for the night,” Seungmin says. He adjusts their positions for a short moment so that Felix is wearing his coat—they’re both sharing the coat, and enjoying the warmth of their bodies pressed together—and then, Felix finally closes his eyes. “Then we’ll have berries for breakfast.”

Felix smiles lazily. “I like the sound of that.”

“Of course you do,” Seungmin quips.

He continues humming, trying to count the stars one by one before drowsiness eventually consumes his body. He lets out a deep breath, realizing that living could be discovering new things with a friend, or seeing the world in a completely new point or view—or this.

Living is breaking rules and choosing a birthday with your friend. Or treasuring the warmth that you feel once you’re near them, both from the outside and the one slowly spreading inside.

This, Seungmin thinks, is something worth breaking the rules for.

And starting now, the rules won’t matter to them anymore.

Bonus scene:

“Are you ready?” Felix asks.

Seungmin sucks in a deep breath. In front of him, in his bike’s own basket, Bokkie was also looking at him expectantly. Seungmin nods at his little friend, then at Felix, “I think I am.”

Felix smiles—encouraging, and reassuring. He readjusts his helmet and looks ahead, even though it’s just dark, making Seungmin uncertain on what to expect. But he’s expecting a lot, even though he’s still a nervous mess. He could tell from the loud thumping against his chest.

“Then let’s go inside the Burrow.”

Bokkie clucks, jumping inside the basket.

Seungmin lets out a laugh. “And if we ever want to go back to the Surface again, I’m sure Bokkie’s here to guide us.”

Just like what the chicken did last time, when Seungmin thought he was being guided to Felix—he was actually being guided to the entrance of the Burrow, all along.