Work Text:
Tokoyami is a loner.
That's not necessarily a bad thing, and Tokoyami certainly doesn't think it's a bad thing, per se. It's just a thought he has at random moments, a reminder of his position in society. He is not a loud person, or an angry person, or even a smart person. However, that is not to say that he is a quiet person, or a gentle person, or even a dumb one. If someone were to ask him, he would say he is perfectly average, neither here nor there.
In fact, he thinks that his averageness is his best quality. It's what makes his being a loner tolerable, and not agonizing. Since he's not good at anything, he doesn't expect anyone to need his help with anything, be it training or studying. On the other hand, since he isn't bad at anything, he doesn't stand out at all, and his successes get overshadowed by the other, more vibrant people, which, in its own way, is ironic.
So, his average nature is what makes him a loner. Only that.
It's not his awkward, unique way of speaking, making it difficult for people to understand what he wishes to express, that makes him a loner. It's not his sentient quirk, who sparks fear into even the strongest of souls, a volatile creature that constantly has to be kept in check, as they are basically a child.
And it's definitely not Tokoyami himself, who is terrified of putting himself out there, one more time, just to get broken into a million pieces, one more time. He doesn't lie awake in the middle of the night, awoken from nightmares of a past not so easily forgotten, holding in everything — he doesn't want to wake up his dorm neighbours with his crying, or even worse, with him losing control of Dark Shadow. They deserve better than that.
It's fine though, because that isn't happening. At least, nobody knows it's happening. And that gives him power. He controls the narrative, and if it doesn't work, then he can always change it; he is not only the writer, but the target audience. Because, if he believes his "truth", then everyone else will too.
He's not weak, or sad, or in pain. He doesn't wish for change, and doesn't long for more. He doesn't feel out of place, even when surrounded by people. He doesn't feel any of these things.
Tokoyami is a loner, and he's happy.