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Howard stared at the video again, watching the kidnappers hold his terrified five-year-old son hostage, demanding money. In the video, Tony was bound and gagged with a gun pressed to his head, frightened eyes locked on the camera.
He hated that he couldn’t say this was the first time he’d seen something like this. It was Tony’s third time experiencing a kidnapping already. And he’d only turned five recently.
Obie closed the laptop, cutting off the video. “Don’t do this to yourself Howard,” he chastised. “I know it’s tough, but don’t show weakness. Giving into their demands will only encourage more kidnappings.”
Howard knew that. He’d heard it from Obidiah and he’d heard it from Peggy. At least Peggy actively worked to get his kid back. Obie just helped him hide the fact that a kidnapping had happened at all.
“I know,” he said tightly.
“You raised a strong kid,” Obie clapped him on the shoulder as he started walking out. “He’ll be fine.”
Fine.
That’s what they said after the first kidnapping and Tony didn’t talk for three weeks. Peggy told him to ignore the strange behaviour and discourage his clinginess and it had nearly broken Howard's heart to send Tony away when he was clearly silently pleading for company, afraid of being alone.
That’s what they said after the second one, when Tony was sporting a broken arm after Howard had once again refused to pay. SHIELD got him back again but Tony flinched whenever anyone got close. Again, Obie and Peggy told him to discourage Tony’s clinginess and the boy gave up faster this time, sitting on his own in his room, hiding under blankets.
Maria hadn’t known how to handle it at all, breaking down into tears and diving into her charity work to run from her fear over what would happen to her son if these kidnappings continued. Jarvis wasn’t any better but he followed Peggy’s advice like Howard.
The inventor dropped his face into his hands. He couldn’t keep doing this. It was killing him to dismiss Tony like that.
Obie said it was for the kid’s own good. That he needed to be strong to survive the world. Peggy agreed, saying that a spoiled boy wouldn’t do the world any good in the future.
Howard wasn’t really sure how ignoring his son after trauma was supposed to help anything. He glanced to the liquor cabinet. It would take the edge off. But if he started turning to that after every damn kidnapping, after every time he needed to distance himself from his son… He didn’t want to think of the consequences.
Was it worth it?
Was it actually helping?
Was being cold and borderline cruel actually good for raising his son? He couldn’t see how. While Peggy and Obie were better at the people thing than him, what if they were wrong here?
He didn’t know what to do.
Those thoughts came rushing back to him forty-eight hours later when SHIELD finally found Tony and brought him home. Maria was asleep, having to be sedated when she entered hysterics over her missing son. So it was only Howard, Obie and Jarvis waiting when Peggy brought Tony home.
Howard’s heart ached at the sight of him. He had a prominent bruise on his cheek and rope burns on his wrists. And his lips were bitten raw, a nervous habit Jarvis had said he’d developed. He wouldn’t look up at them, gazing at the floor with hunched shoulders.
“You need to be more careful Tony,” Obie lectured and Tony’s head dropped further, trying to make himself look even smaller as he sniffled.
Peggy only gave a disappointed sigh and Tony flinched. Howard had the feeling she’d already given him her own lecture.
And suddenly, something snapped in Howard. He didn’t know if it was the tension or stress or what, but something just snapped. Why the actual hell were they behaving like it was a five-year-old boy’s fault for being kidnapped? If anyone was at fault, it was Howard for being the main target. He needed to be better, improve security instead of relying on SHIELD to fix the mess afterwards.
For fuck’s sakes this wasn’t Tony’s fault!
“Out!” he snapped, glaring at his two friends and making everyone startle. So what if this ends up making Tony spoiled in the future? He’d prefer that over his son being miserable and scared. “Both of you, out.”
“Howard,” Peggy started in an annoyed tone but he cut her off.
“I said out. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful that you found Tony. But both of you get out. I’ll talk to you in the morning.” And tell them to butt out of his parenting. It was past time he did it.
They looked about to argue so he snapped “Out!” again and pointed at the door.
Obie looked confused and annoyed but started moving. Peggy stalked out, throwing a glare over her shoulder.
Tony was peering up at him through his hair in confusion and trepidation.
“Jarvis, you too,” Howard was a lot more polite with his butler but still stern. After a moment of hesitation, Jarvis left as well, throwing worried glances Tony’s way.
Once they were alone Howard finally gave in to the urge to do what he'd wanted to since the moment Tony stepped into the room.
He dropped onto his knees and pulled his kid into a hug.
Tony stilled in his arms, clearly confused. Howard didn’t do displays of affection. He didn’t know how and Obie suggested he just avoid them. Said that Maria had it covered.
That sounded like complete nonsense now though. What the hell was wrong with him hugging his kid? He might not know how to do the whole parental affection thing but he was a genius, he’d figure it out.
“Dad?” Tony asked in a small voice.
“Never again,” Howard whispered. “I’m not letting that happy ever again okay? No more kidnappings.”
“I’m sorry…” Tony mumbled.
“It’s not your fault Tony. It’s a lot of people’s faults, but it’s not yours.” He hugged the kid a bit tighter before pulling back and looking him over. Underneath the confusion there was mostly exhaustion so he climbed back to his feet and picked his son up.
Tony let out a surprised squeak but automatically wrapped his arms around his father’s neck.
“Daddy?” he asked again.
“Let’s get you cleaned up and then to bed okay?” Howard suggested. Then he’d work on upping security around Tony so that this never happened again.
Tony tightened his grip on his dad’s shirt. “I’ll have nightmares,” he whimpered and then winced immediately after the words slipped out. Howard remembered something about telling Tony not to admit to weakness and he cursed himself for not thinking more over Obie’s and Peggy’s advice.
“Then you can sleep with your mother and me,” Howard said after a moment.
Tony looked up at him in surprise, eyes wide. “What if I wake you up?” he asked in a whisper.
“It doesn’t matter,” Howard told him.
And it didn’t. It shouldn’t. He should have done this after the first kidnapping when Tony had been desperately reaching out for comfort and safety. He should have done it after the second. There shouldn’t have been a second. Or a third.
That was on him. And he was going to finally do his damn job as a father and fix it.
Tony was quiet as Howard helped him get cleaned up, trying his best to hide his anger over the bruises that littered his son’s body. Then he took him to the master bedroom and put him down beside Maria who was still sleeping.
Tony perked up a bit at the sight of his mother and curled up against her while Howard got himself ready for bed.
As he slid under the covers and abruptly found himself with an armful of five-year-old, Tony peering up at him nervously like he wasn’t sure if the cuddling was alright or not, he felt something inside him settle.
He pulled his son closer and pressed a soft kiss to his hair in that way he’d seen Maria do often before shifting closer to his wife so that Tony was close to both of them.
It didn’t take long before Tony’s breathing evened out and he relaxed in his father’s hold. Howard was awake much longer, mind racing through ways to keep his family safe.
Upping security wouldn’t be enough. He’d have to make other changes.
He’d need to stop joining the searches for Steve in the Arctic, it took him away from his family for too long. He also needed to maybe consider leaving SHIELD. That painted a massive target on his back which was transferred to his family as well.
Peggy wouldn’t be happy. But this was about more than her and the greater good.
This was about his family. His son needed him more than SHIELD did.
He was going to be there for Tony from now on. No matter what.