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Over his seventeen years of life, Levi had seen plenty of awful coming of age movies. The type of high school romances that were so unrealistic they left him rolling his eyes so far into his skull he swore one time he saw his brain. Hange was quick to tell him he was being ridiculous and a “buzzkill” to their fun. He had watched plenty of movies where the shy, unpopular girl got her happy ending with the football star, or movies where the popular girl fell in love with the school’s bad boy. It was all the same and he found them boring and predictable.
However, if there was one thing he had never predicted, it was his life turning into a cliche high school romance.
It all started the fall of his junior year. He had finished art club for the evening and needed to swing by his locker to grab his jacket before he went home, but what he ended up finding was far more interesting than his jacket. After yanking the door open, an envelope fell down onto the polished floor by his ratty sneakers. At the time he had been intrigued because who left letters in lockers when someone could just text him or get his phone number from Hange?
When he opened the letter, he was met with delicate handwriting and words that left him blushing from the tips of his ears down to his collarbones. The letter—no. The love letter was only a page long in length but each word was looped in a way that left Levi actually wishing there had been more on the page. Despite the salutation being signed on the front page, he still flipped it over with the hope there would be more on the back.
But that letter wasn’t the only one.
Every Tuesday when he got done with art club, there was always a letter waiting there for him. Each one was different. Some were only a half-page in length and just disclosed that the mysterious secret admirer had missed him over the weekend. A few were more than one page and left Levi mildly shocked that there was someone on the face of the planet that felt this way about him of all people.
It was no lie that Levi wasn’t the friendliest person in their school. He had his close group of friends and other than them he didn’t care much about anyone else. Most of his classmates saw him as blunt and occasionally rude but, in his opinion, he was just being honest. There was no point in sugar coating if he liked someone or not since in the end he wouldn’t see over half of these people ever again after graduation.
Though as the weeks turned into months and the months turned into a whole semester flying by, Levi still had no idea who had sent all these letters. No matter how hard he tried to think about who could be writing them he came up with a blank.
Fortunately, or probably unfortunately, Hange had decided to give Levi their “professional” help on love.
The pair had been laying in his room watching old scary movies; the kind that looked like they used ketchup for blood. His hand was buried deep in the popcorn and peanut M&M mixture Hange had made earlier when their shrill voice cut through the ambiance of their movie binge.
“Leeeeevi,” they sang, the tone in Hange’s voice let him know they were bored of the movie, “you’re going to eat all of the M&Ms!”
He was about to shove a handful of the chocolate into his mouth before he stopped. Grey eyes lazily tore away from the screen of his TV to instead settle on his best friend. He gave Hange a long stare before he shoved the candy into his mouth. The look of shock and pain that crossed their brown eyes was enough to leave him internally smug, but it was gone in an instant when they launched themselves over the mattress to try to grab the bowl from him. Hange’s lanky body laid over his as he tried his hardest to hold the bowl out of their grasp; however, his arms were shorter than Hange’s so it was only a matter of time before they came out of their squabble victorious.
Once the bowl was out of his hands and in Hange’s he offered a huff before muting the TV with the remote, “if you didn’t want me to eat them all then you should know by now to not put them in the popcorn.”
Hange was working on shoving a handful of popcorn into their mouth when they wrinkled their nose at him, “Wmong” Their voice was muffled and he was about to tell them to keep their mouth closed but the words dried up in his mouth when he watched Hange wipe their butter slick fingers on their jeans.
Levi’s nose wrinkled up into a disgusted sneer at the action, “That’s fucking gross. Use a paper towel or something.” If the bowl wasn’t in Hange’s lap he would have kicked them off the bed, but the thought of popcorn scattering all over his floor was the wrench in that plan.
A brief silence fell over them as Hange took his words to heart and finished chewing their mouthful before they decided to speak again. They cleared their throat and sent him a grin before setting the bowl aside, “So...been thinking more about that secret admirer of yours?”
The question caused a groan to settle in his chest as he covered his face with one of his hands, “Hange do you think I sit around and obsess over those stupid letters?”
Hange cackled before they moved to lay down by his side, their eyes staring up at the old glow in the dark stars he had stuck up there when he was a kid, “No of course not. I’m just kidding...you’re way too busy with all your art stuff anyways. Do you think they’re gonna reveal themselves?”
That was the question he had asked himself so many times he had lost count at this point. He had no clue who was writing those letters to him, but he was itching to know; however, the problem was he had no way to express that to his admirer. It wasn’t like he could just tape a letter to his locker for the person to get since the odds of someone being an asshole and swiping it were too great, so unfortunately, he was at the mercy of this perfect stranger.
“Well, whoever they are, they have to be someone who’s smart,” Hange spoke once again, “From the letters you’ve let me read...they sound very intellectual. They have a great way with words. Maybe they’re a literature nerd or something? Didn’t they quote Shakespeare in one of the letters?”
At the mention Levi couldn’t help but snort, “Yea, they did. It was some sonnet I think.”
Hange rolled onto their stomach and looked at him with a shark-like grin and immediately he knew where this was about to go. Levi narrowed his eyes at Hange before shaking his head, “Don’t even say it.” The tense words only seemed to push Hange further as they slipped out from between his gritted teeth.
“Come on,” They mused, “You know there is a chance I’m right.”
In a perfect world, Hange’s prediction was right; however, the universe was being shitty and playing some sick love joke on him. The world was far from perfect.
“My secret admirer is not Erwin Smith,” Levi huffed, his eyes rolling at the notion, “that thought is ridiculous, and you know it.”
There was no way in hell Erwin was his secret admirer. Sure, they were friends, ate lunch at the same table, and occasionally studied together but there was nothing else beyond that. Erwin Smith was their school’s golden boy. He was on the honor roll and on track to be valedictorian, captain of the academic decathlon team, and captain of the soccer team. Everyone loved him because he was just so damned nice in a way that so genuine no one could ever question his kindness. All the girls had a crush on him and all the guys in school wanted to be friends with him, but just like Levi he kept a tight inner circle. It was only by his luck of being friends with Hange that he managed to be in that inner circle.
Levi had a hard time believing that someone like that would take the time to write sickeningly sweet love letters to him. They were just close acquaintances and that was it. There was no way in hell Erwin would ever reciprocate his feelings, and that was okay. He hadn’t spent the spring semester of his sophomore year and the following summer trying to get over his dumb crush for nothing. Erwin was not his admirer, and he had to keep telling himself that to stay sane.
“I mean…,” Hange trailed off, “It is possible. He is intelligent enough to write stuff like that and the handwriting looks really similar...look I’m not trying to give you false hope because I know you like him.”
Levi shifted his gaze to look at Hange before he shrugged at their words, “it doesn’t matter.” As the words left his mouth he reminded himself not to get hopeful, though it was already too late, “Erwin is not my secret admirer.”
In hindsight, part of him wished he had been right so he could avoid hearing Hange tell him ‘I told you so’. Though as he stood there, jaw slack and eyes wide, he kept reading the words ‘blond, tall, athletic’ over and over and over again until they were burned in his mind like a brand. There was only one blond, tall, athletic person that came to mind, and that was Erwin...who else could it be?
The longer he stood there, the quicker his heart beat in his chest. It pounded against his sternum and felt like it was close to leaping out of his throat. All the new anxiety and adrenaline caused his blood to pump through his veins causing his body to heat up in a deep blush, while his stomach flipped and churned at the prospect of his crush actually returning his feelings. His hands were shaking which made the paper in between his slim fingers shake like a leaf as he stood rooted to the white linoleum floor.
“Levi?”
His thoughts snapped back into place as he looked up to see who was calling his name. Thankfully it was only Hange.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Hange teased; however, the second they got close enough to actually see him, their smile slipped off their face and instead formed into confusion, “Or did you actually see a ghost?”
He couldn’t even think straight. All he could think about was Erwin. Him and Erwin. Levi was forced to think of every ridiculous daydream he had concocted over the years and now it felt like a reality. A new rush of excitement worked its way through him as he looked to his best friend before shoving the letter against their chest, “read this.”
The concern that seemed to linger in Hange’s eyes only deepened as they looked down at the now crumpled up piece of paper. They silently took it from him and began reading. In Levi’s mind it felt like Hange was the world’s slowest reader but in reality, it was probably only less than a minute before their mouth dropped open before they looked up at him, “Holy shit...Holy shit. I told you so!”
With the halls empty, Hange’s screeching echoed against the metal and linoleum around them. Levi sent them a glare before he reached up to clamp his hand over their mouth, “Would you shut up.” He hissed before taking a cautious look around. The last thing he needed was a teacher or administrator coming out to see what the noise was about: “Oh nothing sir, the love of my life just said he likes me back. No big deal.”
Hange pulled his hand away from their mouth with a yank before shoving the letter against his chest, “Levi...you have to go tell him! Like now!”
Now...
No, he couldn’t do this now.
“You’ve lost your mind,” he was trying to keep his voice as level as possible, “He probably isn’t even on campus anymore since it’s almost, what, five?” There was no way Erwin was still on campus since soccer season had ended last semester and decathlon practice wasn’t even on Tuesdays. He could just wait until tomorrow; there wasn’t exactly a rush since he knew that Erwin felt the same way.
“He’s at the soccer field with Mike!” Hange grinned, “Mike said they were gonna do some practicing out there today. We can head out there now to catch them before they actually do leave! Now come one!”
Only a second later he found himself being dragged towards the exit by the wrist with Hange in the lead. As much as he wanted to protest against this entire plan that had been cooked up in a matter of seconds, he couldn’t. He just pulled his wrist out of Hange’s grasp and shoved his hands in his jacket pocket, “Don’t pull me around like that with your grubby hands.”
Neither said a word as they crossed campus to get from the main building to the soccer field. The walk was nearly five minutes and with the cold January wind whipping around his hair and stinging his face, it felt like an eternity. At least the biting air concealed the blush that hadn’t left his cheeks.
At the moment, he was trying desperately to ignore the way his pulse fluttered against his ear drums or how his palms seemed to sweat in the warmth of his jacket pockets, but it wasn’t working. It was like the closer they got to the soccer field the clammier his hands got. Not to mention the acid in his stomach was churning in a way that made him fear he would throw up as soon as he tried talking to Erwin. While Levi wasn’t particularly religious, he was praying to any and every deity that he would not lose his lunch.
In the distance, Levi could see Mike and Erwin on the field working on what appeared to be blocking techniques. Mike was the team’s goalie because of his freakishly long arms and quick reflexes. At one point he heard the guy say he could ‘smell which way the ball was going’ but at the time Levi believed it was a load of shit. There was no way that was true; however, his opinion changed when he had attended one game at Erwin’s request only to watch how Mike blocked nearly every ball that was kicked his way.
“Almost there,” Hange quipped from in front of him, “not getting cold feet are you?”
Levi held back a snort at what he figured was a pun, but he kept his pace up and eventually sidled up to them, “Why are you making me do this?”
A bark of a laugh ripped from Hange’s throat at his question before they blew a puff of air out of their lips, “I’m not making you do anything Levi. You easily could have told me to fuck off before getting in your car and driving home. You’re doing this on your own volition...stop acting like I handcuffed us together and am forcing you to confess.”
As much as he hated to admit it, they were right. Hange wasn’t forcing him to do this at all and was even being nice enough to go with him for moral support so he wouldn’t feel alone talking to Erwin with Mike hanging around in the back. They even were a good enough friend to help him figure out where Erwin would be at this exact point in time. The least he could do was be appreciative.
“Hange…,” his words felt thick in his mouth as his lips parted, but the words seemed to die on his tongue, “I-”
His friend waved a dismissive hand to cut him off, a small smile on their lips, “Don’t mention it...what are friends for right? And I’m about to be the best friend ever when you land this date!” Their eyes turned down to him as they neared the fence lining the field, “Now get out there...I’ll call for Mike so he’ll leave you two alone and just ask him on a date. Easy peasy.”
“I think our definitions of ‘easy peasy’ are totally different,” he deadpanned, “I’ve liked this guy since he helped me pick my books up in the hallway when I tripped and fell in the sixth grade...I’m seventeen and just now working up the nerve to do this.”
Neither said a word after that and he was halfway expecting another pep talk but instead he was met with Hange cupping their hands around their mouth and shouting Mike’s name loudly. Their voice carried through the air and caused Erwin to stop mid kick. Two pairs of eyes turned towards their direction and Levi thought he was going to faint when Erwin sent the two of them a wide smile. The two boys on the field exchanged words before Mike took his gloves off and started to jog over towards where they were, his bangs bouncing with each step he took.
“Get over there,” Hange huffed before giving him a light shove towards the gate, “Hurry before he tries to come over here.”
Levi’s feet felt like they were rooted to their current position, but after the second shove Hange gave him, he was moving towards the gate. Each shoe felt like it was full of lead as he trudged through the slightly damp grass. Once again he found himself thinking that this couldn’t possibly be happening but here he was, walking out on the soccer field towards Erwin Smith to ask him on a date.
Erwin’s eyes had moved away from Mike and Hange to instead settle on him. The light smile that split his face was now directed towards him as he pushed a hand through his messy blond bangs. He looked good.
If there was one thing about Erwin that was attractive, it was that he was always so well put together. During school he wore clothes that were neat and fitted to his body with well-kept combed hair. It was obvious he took pride in his appearance but right now on the soccer field he looked totally different. The usual neat hair was messy and damp with a bit of sweat along his hairline, causing a few of the light strands to turn a darker color as they stuck to his face. His face was flushed from what Levi assumed was exertion and the cold wind, but what really caught his attention was what he was wearing. His arms and legs were covered with skintight black thermals that hugged every cut of muscle in his calves and forearms while a pair of dark green Adidas shorts covered his thighs. If the thermals were bad, the tight grey t-shirt he wore was almost criminal. It clung to his torso and was dark with sweat in certain spots but despite how unkempt he looked Levi had a feeling this was probably his favorite look of Erwin’s. He looked like he was in his element.
“Levi,” He called out to him, his grin evident in the lilt of his voice, “What’re you doing out here?”
A sigh fluttered out his nose as he finally reached Erwin, his neck craning to look up at the blond before he cleared his throat. It was then that he realized he had no idea what to say. The entire walk over here he could have been thinking about what he would say but now he was drawing a blank. All his previous excitement turned into pure panic as he blinked up at Erwin, his words caught in throat.
Obvious concern washed over Erwin’s features the longer they stood there in silence. Thick browns bunched up into a tight furrow while his eyes flickered across each line of his face, “Levi? Are you alright? You look like you’re going to pass out.” Erwin reached out to settle a warm palm against his shoulder, the fingers curling against his jacket as he leaned down to get a better look at his face, “Levi?”
A shaky inhale rattled in his chest as Erwin moved closer to him. He needed a second to grab his nerves before he cleared his throat, “Sorry...I just uhm, had a question?” His voice sounded small as he tried to stall long enough to figure out what kind of date he would even ask Erwin on. It was like his mind was moving a mile a minute while also moving at the pace of a snail.
“Oh,” Erwin seemed surprised, but he was quick to mask it with a pleasant smile, “What’s up?”
One thing his mother had taught him from a young age was that if he found something was difficult to say, the best thing to do was just blurt it out. It was the only thing that seemed to work in the face of his overwhelming anxieties, so he figured now would be the perfect time to use that trick...even if it made him look like an absolute fool.
Levi let his eyes flutter shut as he took a deep breath, his blood rushing through his body and pooling right at the surface of his cheeks and the tips of his ears, “Go to the new tea shop with me. The new one that just opened, I’ll be there at six-thirty so don’t be late.” His eyes stayed shut until he turned on his heels and started to walk the other direction. While he would have loved to see the look on Erwin’s face, he also couldn’t stand the thought of rejection so instead he decided to keep his eyes shut until he was walking away.
There was a distinct set of laughter sounding off the side that he knew was coming from Mike and Hange, but he chose to ignore it. Instead, he was listening for Erwin. Specifically, a rejection from Erwin. He was halfway across the field when the other finally gave his response, “Okay! I’ll be there!”
A light smile twitched at the corners of his lips, but he didn’t dare look over his shoulder. He kept his gaze ahead of him as he walked out of the gate and back towards a now grinning Hange and a smirking Mike. The pair were whispering something to each other but once he stood in front of them they stopped, their eyes roving over him before Mike broke the silence.
“’Bout damn time, Ackerman,” Mike snorted, his nose flaring and crinkling, “What time did you tell him to be wherever you decided to go?”
“Six-thirty, on the dot,” Levi replied, his mood much lighter now that he didn’t have what felt like the weight of the world dangling off his shoulders.
Mike gave him a long look before he cracked a lazy grin, “I’ll make sure he’s there at six-twenty.”
That was the last thing he said before he gave a final nod and turned to jog back across the field. Levi snuck a quick look over towards Erwin’s direction where he was standing with a wide smile on his face as he rolled the soccer ball under a cleated foot. He looked like he had just received the best news of his life and the fact that Erwin was smiling because of him was enough to make his heart flutter in his rib cage.
“C’mon Hange,” He hummed, the corners of his lips turning upwards, “I have a date to get ready for.”
Bonus Scene:
“Zeke, you’ve been staring over at that table for five minutes.”
At the sound of the soft voice, Zeke’s gaze moved from the table where Levi was sitting to instead rest on Pieck. Her lidded eyes and sincere smile caused him to relax a bit from his previous tension, “Sorry, what did you say?”
She tilted her head to the side as grey eyes studied him intently. Pieck was really good at reading people, so it was no shock that her eyes flickered from him all the way across the cafeteria to where Levi Ackerman was sitting next to his now boyfriend Erwin Smith. Her lips quirked before she turned back to Zeke with a soft hum, “Pock told me at break today you were acting weird...what’s wrong?”
His lips parted but truthfully, he wasn’t even sure what to say. How could he tell Pieck that he wrote a series of love letters to Levi Ackerman for months and finally gave him a clue as to who he was only for it to blow up in his face. Levi had apparently taken the physical descriptor and ran with it because when he walked into school that Wednesday morning the talk of the day was Levi and Erwin. Perhaps he should have given more than just blond, tall, athletic.
“He’s a dumbass, that’s what’s wrong,” the words came from behind him but soon enough the owner of the sentence plopped down in the chair next to him, Porco, “Someone decided to be vague, and instead of landing his crush he just played Cupid instead.”
Zeke sent him an unimpressed look that was only met with a smug smirk. Why did he tell Porco of all people about his love letter plan? Porco had even told him his plan was “shitty”, but did he listen? No.
“Zeke, what is he talking about?” Pieck’s eyes were flittering between the two boys while her brows seemed to creep closer and closer to her hairline, “Cupid?”
If there was ever an embarrassing moment, this was one. With a deep inhale he covered his face before groaning, “I've been writing love letters to Levi for months. I slipped them in his locker every Tuesday when he has art club, but yesterday the one I gave him was like a hint or whatever. I told him I was blond, tall, and athletic...but apparently the first person that came to mind was Smith and not me. Now they’re dating and it’s because of me.”
Their table fell silent, and the only thing Zeke could hear was the buzz of chatter that came from their peers around them. He let out a last sigh before dropping his hands to the table to see his friends and part of him wished he hadn’t moved his hands. Porco was looking at him with something that screamed mild disappointment while Pieck’s gaze held pity.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he grumbled before slumping back in the hard plastic of the chair, it dug into his spine uncomfortably, but he couldn’t find it in him to care, “It happened. I’ll get over it. No time to worry over it since baseball is starting up soon so I’ll just...focus on that.”
Before the other two could respond, the shrill ring of the bell cut through the air causing the buzz of chatter to swell into a cacophony of loud conversations and laughter. Zeke pushed his body away from the table and slung his bag over his shoulder before gathering up his trash to throw away, “It’s seriously whatever. Just leave it.” He gave the pair a final look before he headed towards the exit where he could toss his garbage in the bin; however, he had to pass by the table Levi was at.
He kept his eyes off the new couple, but it was impossible to miss their small conversation.
“See you after school?” Erwin’s tone was light, and Zeke couldn’t believe that all his hard effort went in the totally opposite direction. It should have been him standing there asking Levi to see him after school.
“Yea…,” the second voice was Levi’s and the soft timbre that replaced the usual deadpan tone was all he needed to push his way out of the cafeteria and into the flood of students heading towards their next class.
As he headed towards his AP English class the only thing he could think of was that none of this was fine.