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The sunlight peeking through the blinds makes the side of Renjun’s face its target, a peachy hue painting his pale skin due to the orange tinted curtains. He grunts, shifting his position to bury himself deeper into the covers. Jaemin, beside him, remains still, deep in his slumber seemingly without a care in the world. He positioned himself to face Renjun's back, nose pressed against the soft fabric of his cotton pajamas - ultimately sacrificing Renjun’s eyes to be blinded by the morning sun instead of him. ‘New curtains’ were definitely on the shopping list, neither of them were just ready to subject themselves to hours of shopping in isles filled with soccer moms and their menacing scowls.
A single ring on the doorbell downstairs has Renjun awake, shifting around the bed with his eyes closed. He kicks Jaemin’s leg with his foot somewhere under the covers.
“Jaem. Door.” he whines, attempting to bury his head deeper in his pillow. Jaemin replies “In a bit” but goes completely silent afterwards, and Renjun can only assume he’s pulled himself back to sleep. The doorbell rings again, twice this time, and Renjun clicks his tongue. Pushing the covers off as he starts to drag his feet towards their bedroom door after a few eye rubs. He could faintly make out Jaemin whispering a slurred “Love you” from under the covers before he starts making his way down the stairs.
He passes by the large digital clock on the table beside their coat rack.
8 a.m? Are you kidding me? Renjun whines in his head, rushing towards the door when he hears loud knocks against it.
“Yeah, coming!” He yells before his fingers wrap along the door’s cool, metal handle. The morning sun shines in his face and Renjun almost hisses in its presence.
“What took you so long, I thought I was going to die out here. Right, Minhee?” That familiar nasally voice greets him with a groan. Donghyuck is standing in their doorway, hand in hand with his son who mirrors the same frown. Except his disappears instantly upon seeing Renjun, not hesitating to rush over and wrap his arms around his thigh in his own attempt of a hug.
“Junjun!” Minhee exclaims, words barely slurring past his little teeth and excited smile. Renjun feels his exhaustion ebb away at the cute gesture. Minhee is almost 3 and can barely speak more than a few words, and it’s painfully adorable. Renjun puts a hand on his head and gives him a proper pat before sending Donghyuck a glare.
“Dude, it’s 8 in the morning on a Saturday. What are you doing here?” Renjun shuts the door once they let themselves in and Donghyuck instantly heads for the kitchen, knowing the outline of their house a little too well.
He makes himself comfortable on one of the kitchen stools, arms propped up on the island in the middle of the room as he boosts Minhee up on his lap. He reaches for a banana in the basket full of fruit.
“Well, Mark had an emergency meeting this morning and Minhee and I were already awake, so I thought I’d stop by.” He says, as if he hadn’t just rudely interrupted Renjun in the middle of his morning sleep.
“Donghyuck, it’s 8 a.m.” Renjun presses incredulously. His forehead creases in frustration but still, he maneuvers himself across the kitchen to reach for a bun to offer to Minhee, who smiles sweetly and accepts it with grabby hands.
“I know, God, I can’t believe they called Mark in on a Saturday like? How crazy is that? You would think they’d be respectful of his off days. Absolutely no boundaries.”
Renjun bites his tongue to stop himself from blowing up in front of a 3 year old.
As if right on cue, Jaemin trudges in - hair disheveled, sticking up in different directions. He squints from the sun shining in through the windows and yawns, lips stretching wide like a lion in wake.
“Hey, who was at the mph -'' He jerks back when Minhee catapults himself across the room and lunges towards Jaemin with open arms. He wraps his arms securely around Jaemin’s waist, fisting the back of his shirt in excitement.
“Nana!”
Renjun has to stop himself from bursting out in a fit of laughter, annoyance almost completely forgotten.
“Hey, little guy,” Jaemin kneels down and gives him a proper hug, seemingly melting of fondness when Minhee demands he take him in his arms. Jaemin submits without much resistance, scooping him up with ease.
Donghyuck turns around to greet him with a smile, just as fond as any dad’s. It takes Jaemin a moment but he looks at him and then at Renjun, giggling when he notices how Renjun’s face morphs back into annoyance. Probably remembering how Donghyuck had interrupted their perfectly nice morning spent in bed.
“Hey, Jaem.” Donghyuck greets him, turning his attention back to his banana.
Jaemin greets him back and tries not to laugh at Renjun being visibly distressed. Instead he goes to switch the kettle on, passing by him to plant a kiss on his cheek.
“Morning,” he whispers. His breath is minty fresh on his cheek, warm enough to surface a blush on Renjun’s face, especially when Minhee lets out a little ‘Yuck!’
Donghyuck had been Renjun’s best friend for as long as he could remember and he would do anything for him. But now that they’re both 33 and married ( hell, Donghyuck even has a kid), he’s still acting as if they were 8 year old neighbours. Which Renjun initially thinks is a little sweet (but still insufferable nonetheless).
“Okay but I did come over to talk about something kind of important. A favor,” Donghyuck starts fidgeting with his hands. This pulls Renjun’s attention, raising a curious eyebrow for him to continue.
“Today is Mark and I’s 2nd year anniversary, and-” He doesn’t get to finish before he earns a gasp from Jaemin over at the sink, a teapot in hand as he drains the teabags.
“Oh wow, I can’t believe it's been 2 years now. Congrats.”
“Thanks,” he smiles, a little shy from the attention. It is unlike him but Renjun knows there aren't a lot of things that make Donghyuck blush - except when it comes to Mark.
“But I was saying, uhm, since it’s our anniversary, I wanted to do something a little special for him. There’s this show he kept talking about and I managed to get two tickets for us,”
Minhee tugs at Jaemin’s hair playfully and he lets out a small yelp in response, jabbing a finger around his rib. This does nothing except make Minhee giggle even harder and the way Jaemin’s smile grows infinitely bigger becomes almost too bright for Renjun to look at.
Renjun vaguely remembers Mark mentioning this show a few weeks ago, though he doesn’t remember what it’s all about. All he knows is that he’s been very excited over the fact that it’s only happening in the town over from them.
“The thing is we’d have to stay overnight at a hotel in the town over for us to get there in time tomorrow. Which means we’d have no one to watch over Minhee. So, I thought maybe, if you guys weren’t busy, you could-”
“We’d love to.”
The fact that the words had come out of Renjun’s mouth instead of Jaemin’s is a little bit of a surprise even to himself. Especially when he was so keen to go back to bed. But the more he thinks about it, the sweeter it gets. Mark and Donghyuck have been married for a good 2 years and yet they still act like newlyweds even with all the responsibilities that come with having a kid; Renjun thinks it’s high time they have some privacy of their own for once.
“Really?”
“Of course,” Jaemin replies this time, sending him a reassuring smile and glancing at Renjun, like always, just to make sure. Jaemin always asks his permission, once, twice. He never makes rash decisions without Renjun knowing and something about that leaves a tickling feeling in his stomach.
“Minhee’s an angel,” Jaemin smiles. “How hard can it be?”
The Gods must simply enjoy watching Renjun and Jaemin make a fool out of themselves. Renjun curses Jaemin for speaking too soon because contrary to what they initially thought, it is very hard.
Which shouldn’t be the case because they’ve babysitted Minhee countless times before. He’s gone on hour long outings to ice cream shops, haircuts, picnics with them without much constraint but all these outings had one thing in common - Mark or Donghyuck would be there at the end of the day to pick him up. Spending a night with Minhee is something completely different.
For starters, he definitely did not like the fact that his parents had to leave for the night. He was reluctant at first and it took Donghyuck a lot of promises (ice cream and playground dates) until he’d finally let them go without whining.
If it was anyone else, Minhee wouldn’t have let them go without a proper tantrum, but they all know how much he secretly loves Jaemin and Renjun’s little abode. He always gets fascinated by Renjun’s office, decked from top to bottom with colourful artworks which he would stare at for hours. There was also a fireplace in their living room he liked to crawl around (mostly during spring when the smell of cinder and pollen filled the house through the chimney). Jaemin’s garden in the backyard is another favourite spot. On slightly rainy days when the whole family would visit - Renjun, Donghyuck and Mark would sit on the steps, drinking hot tea as Minhee helped Jaemin tend to his strawberry patches. He would come up with muddy cheeks and fingers, chastised by Mark but laughed at by Donghyuck.
These were all fond memories both Renjun and Jaemin hoped would reflect upon their time babysitting but they quickly learned that wasn’t the case. At all. The first few hours went by fine. Donghyuck had dropped off all they needed for the night and a quick list of allergies they need to look out for - things both of them have already memorised through the years. When he doesn’t stop rambling, it takes Jaemin’s reassuring smile to make him go.
“Hyuck,” he says softly with Minhee in one arm and a hand on his friend’s shoulder.
“We’ve got this. Just go. Have fun.”
Renjun is leaning on the doorway with his arms folded, nodding along. Sometimes there are moments when they both share the same thoughts without having to speak and Jaemin knows exactly what to say.
Donghyuck doesn’t leave without one more glance at Minhee, more wistful than worried. “Bye baby. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“Bye bye, Papa,” Minhee waves. Donghyuck almost turns around to cradle him in his arms again if it weren’t for Mark hollering at him in the driveway.
This might be the first time in almost 3 years Donghyuck has been properly separated from his son. Renjun tries to be understanding that it must be hard for him too, even if they are just in the town over.
They eventually take off but not without waving frantically at them as Mark drives down the street.
Renjun snorts, rubbing a hand on Minhee’s back as he falls into his arms willingly. “God, are we going to be that dorky as parents?”
“Definitely not,” Jaemin shudders. “We can’t lose the ‘Cool Uncles’ title.”
The next few hours go by like this.
Jaemin gets busy in the kitchen and makes a nice lunch for all of them, tasty and hot soondubu jjigae stew topped off with minced beef and poached eggs. They chill in the living room afterwards with the television playing as Renjun curls on his favourite sofa, reading a book he’s been burning through for the past few days.
Half an hour goes by with little conflict but after painfully convincing puppy eyes, Minhee (and Jaemin) manages to drag Renjun out the door for a trip a few blocks down the street to a local convenience store. They get fish cake ice cream and snacks, buying essential house items Jaemin has memorised at the top of his head from their gigantic list of groceries.
The town they live in is quite small, tucked in the suburbs, where everyone knows each other and big groups of elderly people are seen jogging in the morning down the street. It’s the kind of town where old grandmothers have visited the local market for the past 30 years and have rituals of things they buy on the daily. It’s the same market Jaemin has made himself familiar with after they moved in almost 5 years ago, lush with all kinds of healthy herbs and ingredients Renjun would listen to him ramble about for hours. Given his bubbly and warm nature, it’s fair to say the grandmothers have taken quite a liking to him. Renjun has only met very few of them but they’ve been nothing but kind to him every time.
(“It’s nice to finally meet you,” Renjun extends a hand out for them to shake, only to get pulled into a hug. Jaemin tries not to laugh at Renjun being visibly flustered. He’s not shy but it takes him a little while to adjust to new people than it does for Jaemin.
“Oh, has your husband been feeding you well? Oh, child, you look a little pale. Jaemin, I told you to buy those white radishes last week. They’d taste great in stew.”
“Oh, don’t worry, he cooks great food all the time. He’s always been particular about these things.” Renjun laughs, feeling a little giddy. At this point they’ve been married for only a few months and it’s not often he hears Jaemin being referred to as his husband.
“If you ever come down with a cold, don’t hesitate to reach out. I know a good traditional recipe that works like a charm!”)
It still comes as a surprise to him when he turns the corner of an aisle to see Jaemin chatting with some old ladies, hands packed with snacks and rolls of toilet paper.
Renjun recognizes one of them from before and he isn’t given a chance to hesitate before the lady is already waving him over, rather excitedly. He tugs lightly on Minhee’s hand and catches Jaemin’s fond gaze from afar.
“This is Jaemin’s pretty husband I was telling you about,” the old lady whispers to her friend, just loud enough to leave a blush dusting Renjun’s cheeks.
He greets them politely, in the way Jaemin always does. They quickly exchange a few words before the ladies turn their attention to Minhee, almost missing him completely with the way he was barricading himself behind Renjun’s thigh.
“Hello,” they greet him. Renjun thinks they must have a lot of practice because Minhee instantly perks up, peeking his head out to greet them back. He doesn’t get along with new people very often and Renjun knows Jaemin notices this too by the way he catches his eye as they share an amused look.
“He’s adorable. Is this your son?”
“Ah, no.” The answer comes out a little shyer than he would like. Even Jaemin seems to be a little flustered at the question.
“We’re just babysitting him for our friends. He can be a bit of a handful but he’s always fun to have around.”
Minhee nods his head even though Renjun doubts he understands a word they’ve said. It’s still entertaining to watch him butt in once in a while.
“Well, maybe he’ll get a friend to play with soon, hmm? You two already look like dads.”
The ladies laugh, ignoring the deeper blush on both Renjun and Jaemin’s cheeks. It’s only then does Renjun realise they’re not entirely wrong. Jaemin has toilet paper rolls in his hands, packets of candy and snacks and Renjun has Minhee on one hand, ice cream and extra diapers in another. They’re all dressed warmly, in slightly unintentional matching outfits.
To Renjun’s amusement, they truly look like the quintessential gay dads.
They all finish their ice cream on the way home and Jaemin insists they take the long way back to pass by the nearby park. It’s usually packed by this hour, when the sun almost touches the ground and dips the sky in orange marmalade. Children will be running by the swings, adults will be jogging in the area and picnic blankets will be sprawled across the warm grass by eager teens and their exploding conversations.
Renjun comes here often by himself. In the mornings when Jaemin is still fast asleep in bed, he will slip out simply to sit on one of the benches, watching the sun rise over the horizon and buildings in the far distance. It’s oddly serene. He loves nothing more than spending time with Jaemin, but they both agree it’s important to have some alone time.
Usually by the time he gets home, Jaemin is already in the kitchen, flipping pancakes as their mugs of tea are surrounded by a cloud of steam. This is why they work. Jaemin doesn’t need to ask where he’s been. He only kisses him on the cheek and pushes a plate his way.
They decide to stay for a little bit, mostly because Jaemin is too weak to say no to a whining Minhee. They agree on 10 minutes of playtime before they have to leave and Renjun uses his ‘dad’ tone (as Jaemin would describe it) to make sure he knows it’s serious. Minhee gladly agrees, nodding happily (even though they both doubt he really knows how short 10 minutes really is). Still, it’s nice to watch him having fun with the other kids.
Jaemin finds them an empty bench and keeps a spot for Renjun as he makes his way towards him.
Today didn’t exactly go how they thought it would. Renjun would still very much prefer being curled up in bed all day with Jaemin but watching the wind mess up his honey brown hair as he tries to blink the strands away is still pretty entertaining. He ends up fixing Jaemin’s hair by himself after a frustrating few minutes of watching him struggling all alone. He doesn’t miss the way his gaze lingers on him, teasingly.
Renjun has half the mind to chastise him about flirting in public until he realises; they’re married. And it's perfectly fine to do so. Sometimes, Jaemin still makes him feel like a teenager, like the ones sprawled across green lawns with constant exploding conversation leaving their lips.
“Should I cook dinner later?” Renjun asks. They both know Jaemin is the better cook between the two of them but it doesn’t stop Renjun from making the signature dishes he’s used to eating back home.
“If you want.”
Jaemin keeps his eyes trained on Minhee on the playground, making sure he’s not being too rough with the other kids. Jaemin has a fond glint in his eye that always makes an appearance when he’s around children and Renjun has been around him for too long to let it go by unnoticed. Jaemin has always loved children. Even as menacing as they can get. He’s always been family oriented, which is what makes married life so easy with Jaemin. He finds joy in domestic acts - he enjoys cooking, cleaning, gardening, sitting and reading by their fireplace. It’s hard to imagine a guy like this growing up as a city boy his whole life.
In comparison, Renjun grew up in a small town and lived there for the entirety of his adolescent life before moving to the city. He never imagined he’d ever want to go back to the quieter parts of life because anyone who knew him knew he was always curious about the fast life. He has always dreamt of getting lost in concrete jungles, spending day and night exploring city life in his own adventures. Now, at 33, Renjun thinks he’s done enough exploring just by being with Jaemin alone.
They enjoyed living in the city for a few years while it lasted, cooped up in a dingy apartment they were both struggling to pay as university students just trying to get by. Renjun can’t say he hated everything about that place. It carried some of the most precious memories he has ever shared with Jaemin. It was his first apartment. The place where he told Jaemin he loved him for the very first time. Where he asked him to move in with him a year into seeing each other. The place where Jaemin whispered a promise he still has yet to break; that he would stick by him - through thick and thin. The same promise he repeated in his vows.
And despite knowing he has always wanted to settle down in the countryside, he had never once made Renjun choose between him and his dream to live in the city.
( “Relationships are about compromise. I don’t mind living in the city.”
“But it’s not fair that you’re the one that has to compromise.” Renjun frowns, guilt striking his face in wrinkles.
“You say that as if you’ve never had to compromise for me.” Jaemin had taken Renjun’s hands in his, rubbing a warm thumb on his soft skin.
“I said I wanted to settle down in the countryside. But I’m not in a rush to settle down. I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to be here with you every step of the way. So let’s just take things one step at a time. We’ll figure things out as we go.” )
And Jaemin, just like countless times before, had been right. They did figure it out as they went, not without bumps in the road and a few arguments but certainly a lot easier than Renjun had expected. There was never an ultimatum, never a grand moment that threatened the course of their relationship. Jaemin had been there for every step of the way, and in turn, so was Renjun.
So after 7 hardworking years of building this foundation, staying up countless nights to land stable jobs they were both finally satisfied with, Renjun knew it was just a matter of time until one of them popped the question. Comedically, both of them did, at the same time, in an almost identical manner.
( “I think I want to start looking at houses.”
Renjun had whispered one night, only a few weeks after the announcement of their engagement. His ring had sat prettily on his finger, glinting in the moonlight that poured in through the blinds as he laid his head on Jaemin’s strong chest.
“Hmm, where in the city do you wanna start?”
“I was thinking, maybe the countryside. A smaller town or something.”
Jaemin had gotten up by then, making sure that Renjun was fully facing him so he could decipher that look behind his eyes.
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“You know you don’t have to, right? We don’t have to settle down just yet. I don’t want you to think that just because we’re getting married, I expect you to drop everything.”
“And I won’t.” He had taken Jaemin’s hand in his. “I’m still finding my adventures. The difference is that now, I want to do it with you.”)
As it turns out, married life has so far been the greatest adventure Renjun has ever experienced, though he’s slightly convinced it’s only because he’s married to Jaemin.
He finds his fingers straying at the loose locks messily tucked behind Jaemin’s ear, moving his fingers to have them neatly nested in place. It does nothing but allow his husband to send him another teasing look, one so fond it almost makes his heart physically squeeze.
His gaze becomes a little too intense after a while and Renjun hates how he easily gets flustered under his eyes even after all these years. He knows he wouldn’t be able to look away if it weren’t for Minhee bear hugging him from behind, almost sending Renjun tumbling to the ground - mostly out of shock.
“Junjun~”
He jumps up and down, forehead soaked in glistening sweat and cheeks red from all the running. “Go home,” he whines.
Renjun doesn’t know where Jaemin gets a napkin from but he watches as he wipes the sweat off Minhee’s brow and scoops him in his arms. “Home it is.”
When Minhee said ‘Home’, Renjun and Jaemin didn’t think he meant it literally.
They quickly learn that the second they get back to their house. This is where it all goes downhill.
Renjun should’ve known that as soon as he carried Minhee past the door and he started crying. Jaemin had blamed it on the exhaustion and worked fast on preparing a snack in the kitchen for everyone. This left Renjun tasked to entertain a tantrum-throwing Minhee in the living room.
He tries bouncing him on his leg, letting him play with his phone, leaving him to walk around the fireplace he liked so much, unloading the mountain of toys Donghyuck had packed - nothing works.
“Minhee, please,” Renjun pleads, now resembling the child’s whine. “Please stop crying.”
For a moment, he thinks he’s triumphant in his desperate plea once the crying comes to a halt. But it picks up immediately right after and this time twice as hard. Even Renjun feels like crying at this point. Minhee had been so well behaved the whole day, he doesn’t understand what they did wrong. Renjun recounts back all the things they did. Ice cream, the walks, watching TV - they’re supposed to be the cool uncles for God’s sake! They’ve never dealt with a crying Minhee before.
He tries bouncing him on his leg a few more times, a little grossed out by how sweaty his own skin is. From the long walk under the sun, Renjun’s skin had turned a soft pink and flushed with sticky cold sweat that caused his shirt to stick to his back. He curses himself silently for not taking a shower before they left.
Thankfully, Jaemin swoops in just in time with a bowl of dried fruits and grapes in his hand.
“He’s still crying?”
“You can’t hear him from the kitchen?”
Jaemin frowns. “I thought he stopped. Here, let me hold him.”
He passes the bowl to Renjun and takes a rather hesitant Minhee in his arms, rubbing warm circles on his back. Renjun almost shivers at the sight. He knows how comfortable and warm Jaemin’s big hands are and how delicate he can be when he wants to. It’s a little childish but he can’t help but feel a twinge of envy. He has knots in his back and would want nothing more than Jaemin’s soothing hands rubbing his bare back - maybe he’ll make him do that before bed.
“I think he’s grumpy because he didn’t nap earlier. We’ve been walking all day.” He offers.
Eventually, Minhee quiets down after a while before Jaemin taps him on his shoulder.
“Why don’t I feed him the rest of his snack and you go run him a bath? I’ll bring him in a bit.”
“Really?”
Jaemin rubs Minhee’s head and rocks him up and down. He smiles. “I got him.”
Renjun dusts his hands and bends down to reach for Minhee’s bag of clothes. He makes a beeline towards their downstairs bathroom, just beside the kitchen. It has a bathtub big enough to fit Renjun (coincidently the bathtub Jaemin constantly complains about removing because his toes always end up sticking out the water).
( “Babe, my toes are going to freeze off.”
Renjun had wanted to take a nice, intimate bath with just the two of them. It had only been 2 weeks since they moved in and renovated the bathroom downstairs. His plans are immediately foiled once they get into the bathtub and realise Jaemin may be a little bit too tall for it.
“Just fold your legs and dip them in the water.”
“I can’t! Your knees are in the way. And it’s easy for you to say, you’re on top of me.”
The rest of the bath was less romantic than Renjun had planned (and he even brought out his scented candles!). It consisted mostly of them manoeuvring around as the bathtub made screeching noises against their wet skin.
They end up getting another bathtub for their actual bathroom upstairs and Jaemin made sure to check his measurements before they made the gracious purchase ).
He squeezes some soap into the tub and thrashes his hand around the water until bubbles start forming around the edge. He lets the running water do the rest of the job as he starts unpacking a towel and some of Minhee’s clothes. By the time he turns the tap off and folds his sleeves, Jaemin comes knocking against the wooden door with a docile Minhee on his arm.
“Guess whooo?” He sings.
The boy in his arms instantly perks up at the sight of bubbles and Renjun crouching by the bathtub.
“Wowww, look how cool that is. Say thank you Uncle JunJun.” Jaemin coos in that voice of his that goes 10 frequencies higher. “I’m going to hand you over to him now, okay?”
Minhee immediately falls into Renjun’s embrace and he wastes no time taking his clothes off, ready to be lifted up again and into the tub. As expected, he splashes around and does a lot of waddling before sitting at the bottom and playing with his toys as his back is being washed. Renjun can’t help but think they made a good call not removing the tub from the bathroom.
He casts a quick glance behind him to see Jaemin leaning against the door with his arms folded and eyes fond as he watches them while he snacks on the fruits. There is a glazed look behind his eyes, cloudy with a type of happiness Renjun has never seen before. All too suddenly, he’s aware of an unfamiliar thought that passes through his mind as quickly as it appears. Jaemin looks like a father.
A warm hand from behind envelopes his warm skin and it makes him jump.
“Hey, would it be okay if I took a shower while you finish up? Then I’ll look after him while you take one later.”
Renjun turns his head back again, just enough to see Jaemin through his lashes. Although the thought of being left alone with him sounds terrifying, especially when it seems like Jaemin is more capable of calming him, he refuses to admit it out loud. He nods, maybe even a little too enthusiastic.
Jaemin feeds him a grape before he leaves.
Now, Renjun peers forward and sees Minhee looking at him with big doe eyes, a glint of mischievousness present. He sighs.
Renjun isn’t surprised when he walks out of the bathroom with the bottom half of his pants soaked in soapy water and his sleeves drenched.
At least Minhee looks like he’s in a better mood, showing off his toothy grin as Renjun wipes him down. Like this, he can’t help but laugh at how giddy the child looks - how much smaller he feels in his arms.
“You’re not that bad, kid.”
Renjun gets a tilted head and a small giggle in return. It’s so contagious that it spreads across his face too and the tingle travels down his chest. He watches, amusedly, as the child pulls his shirt over his head hurriedly, water droplets falling from his hair and onto their cold wooden floor. Renjun makes a mental note to clean that up before anyone gets hurt.
In the distance, he hears footsteps from above, muffled and blunt but he recognizes them by their rhythm. Jaemin moves like this when he’s in a hurry, probably forcing himself to move faster so could have his turn to take care of Minhee.
“Idiot,” Renjun says under his breath with no real malice to his voice. “He’s gonna get himself hurt.”
Almost comically, a loud thud from upstairs leaves a ring reverberating within the walls.
“You okay?” Renjun yells from downstairs, folding the rest of Minhee’s clothes and neatly packing them back into the bag for tomorrow. The sound of a door from upstairs swings open.
“Yup.” A hoarse reply back. It sounds like Jaemin is going to need that massage more than him. Renjun supposes they can take turns.
He hears more shuffling from upstairs and takes a good guess that Jaemin is most likely scavenging in their bedroom for an old rag to wipe the floor clean of his little puddles. Renjun almost intervenes, tells him it’s pointless because he’s going to take a shower after this anyways and get the floor wet all over again. But Jaemin will insist despite knowing that because staying tidy comes like second nature to him. It almost makes Renjun look lazy compared to him, and he considers himself pretty organized.
Instead of reprimanding Jaemin as he had originally planned, a buzz from his phone beckons for his attention instead, vibrating on a nearby tabletop. He reaches for it with one hand combing the wet, brown locks out of Minhee’s face.
‘Everything ok?’ it read. An ominous text from Mark that he would’ve expected.
Another buzz arrives only a second later. ‘ Hyuck is forcing me to ask u, I believe in u guys btw.’
‘Everything iz gud.’ Renjun texts back, posing with the kid in his arms, combed and clean for proof. He would have felt the wave of pride wash over him if it weren’t for another loud thump from above stealing his attention, mirroring the one from before.
Well, almost everything was good.
“I’m okay!” A strained voice yells a second later.
Renjun steps out of the bathroom with fog billowing out of the door behind him, smelling like fresh lavender soap and Jaemin’s classic shampoo. It’s by far his favourite scent (something between citrus and mint), even if Jaemin complains about him hogging the product most of the time.
(Renjun thinks he secretly loves it though, and it becomes apparent in the wee hours of the morning where only whispers are exchanged and Jaemin burrows a home into Renjun’s neck, breath calming with every inhale).
The water droplets drip onto the hardwood floor with a soft and hollow thump, joining the previous puddles left by Jaemin. He can still recognize his scent lingering in the room, even without him here. Or maybe Renjun has just come to memorise every little detail about him that this all comes like second nature to him. To know things about Jaemin his mind provides without any real effort, almost like muscle memory.
Quickly, he dries his hair off and slips into a pair of familiar PJs. Even from all the way upstairs, he can hear Jaemin’s sweet hum in the kitchen, mumbles of a song they’ve heard playing on the radio one too many times. It had annoyed them both to a point where they had started singing it out of pure spite, just to get the tune out of their head. (At this point, neither of them would dare to admit it had become somewhat catchy).
“Hi,” his voice cuts through the humming as he enters the kitchen. Jaemin is busy by the stove, cooking what seems to be a kind of soup while thinly sliced cabbage is stationed in a pile beside him. He flicks his eyes at Renjun once before turning back to his dish.
“Hey, can you pass me the salt from the cabinet?”
There’s a shortage of a presence in the room and Renjun double-checks to make sure he isn’t missing the half-person sitting around.
“Where’s Minhee?” He asks, setting the salt next to the counter where Jaemin is already lifting the hot soup off the stove.
He gives Renjun a quizzical look.
“What do you mean? He's right…” he turns towards their little set of tables and chairs they’ve crammed into a corner of the kitchen, only to be greeted with glaringly obvious empty seats. “...there.”
If this were any other situation, Renjun would find the panic so evidently setting into Jaemin’s face a little funny. Instead, he can feel himself mirror him identically.
“I swear to God, I left him right there. We spoke like 3 minutes ago!” Jaemin’s voice rises a tone higher, soaked with panic and uncertainty. This is exactly what they were afraid of.
“Jaemin! I was gone for like 10 minutes.”
“He was playing with his toys and I only turned around for a few seconds!”
Renjun raises an eyebrow. “I thought you said you spoke to him 3 minutes ago.”
“Stop it, you know I can’t do the math when I’m panicking. You’re really not helping right now.”
Sometimes, Renjun feels like he already has an overgrown child of his own.
“I’ll check upstairs. You go make sure all the doors are locked.”
He doesn’t give Jaemin the chance to argue as he makes his way back up their creaky stairs. “And don’t forget to turn off the stove!”
A moment of silence passes and then a click. “I knew that!”
For once, Renjun is perfectly happy that they have such a small space because it doesn’t leave a lot of room for curiosity. They spend no more than 10 minutes looking around.
He easily finds the kid in his office, door creaked open and staring wide-eyed at one of Renjun’s sculptures. A breath of relief escapes his lips.
“I found him.” He peers his head into the corridor, motioning Jaemin towards him. He turns back to Minhee when he feels another pair of eyes on him. Rightfully so, Minhee is staring back at him now with those doe eyes that resemble Donghyuck’s a little too much.
It’s only a second later does he realise the glass sculpture that was sitting prettily on his desk is now in the tiny, tiny hands of the child before him. A strange gut feeling drills into him and Renjun’s nonexistent paternal instincts set off an alarm in his body. He can feel Jaemin tense just beside him once he gets a glimpse past the door, a short intake of breath breaking the silence between them.
“Minhee, sweetheart… Can you give Uncle JunJun his toy back?” He tries to reason, a hand reaching out for the heavy sculpture.
For as long as he has known him (which is practically his whole life), Minhee has never been the type of kid to cause trouble on purpose, which probably says a lot more about Mark and Donghyuck’s parenting skills because for as long as Renjun has known Donghyuck , trouble is essentially the blood that’s pumped through his veins.
As expected, Minhee nods obediently and extends the glass sculpture out to Renjun with one hand. Renjun should’ve seen the flaw right then and there but it only occurs to him a second later when Jaemin’s voice cuts through them.
“Wait-”
Tiny hands carrying a heavy glass sculpture turned to one tiny hand extending said heavy sculpture… Renjun should’ve seen it coming.
“Minhee, wait-”
To everyone’s horror, the sound of glass shattering against the cold floor leaves bits and pieces of the human sculpture scattered across the office floor. Dread sinks its teeth deep into Renjun as the shards are scattered too close for comfort around Minhee’s bare feet, just waiting to sink into his soft skin. On top of that, between the yells and the loud sound of glass shattering around them, Minhee had started softly crying which turned into full-blown wailing once he realised what he’s done.
Renjun feels almost frozen in place from the sequence of unexpected events. He doesn’t know how everything had turned upside down in a matter of seconds. Thankfully, Jaemin works just as fast for the both of them and quickly steps over the broken glass, not caring for the smaller pieces that attach themselves to his foot as he swoops Minhee in his arms.
“Is he okay? Did it get to his feet?” Renjun doesn’t recognize the panic in his own voice but he’s too occupied by the worry that overtakes all his other emotions.
Minhee is still crying when Jaemin turns his feet around, inspecting for any cuts. “No, I don’t think so but we should wash his feet just in case.”
“You too.”
Jaemin nods. He practically drags Renjun out by his arm when he attempts to clean up all by himself.
“Uh-uh. We’ll clean it together later. You don’t even have slippers on,” he scolds. “It’s dangerous.”
Renjun knows it would be pointless to argue with him.
By the time they’ve double-checked for any cuts and cleaned the entire place free of any stray pieces of glass, Minhee is still busy crying but his earlier wails have subsided to little choked sobs. Now situated on the couch, they notice big, fat teardrops sliding down his face and it becomes concerning after a while.
Jaemin crouches beside him, a comforting hand on his knee. “What’s wrong kiddo? Does something still hurt somewhere?”
Renjun joins him not a moment later, standing before them with his brows drawn to the centre of his forehead and arms crossed with concern.
Minhee offers a vigorous head shake, biting the bottom half of his mouth to stop himself from crying. His eyes pan from Jaemin’s face to Renjun’s, and with the help of the overhead lights, they exaggerate his tears to look like pearls pooling in the corner of his eyes.
“Sorry,” he offers. “Broke Uncle JunJun’s toy.”
His lip quivers as if he’s about to burst into another fit of sobs but before then, Renjun is already crouching on his side, a hand rubbing his back. Jaemin watches over them, but he doesn’t try to take over the situation. He keeps a distance far enough that tells Renjun this is his way of saying, ‘I trust you, you got this.’
“Oh, sweetheart… I’m not angry at all,” Renjun whispers. He has Minhee’s full attention now - big brown eyes burning into his own. “Not even a little bit.”
Jaemin waits for a moment. “Yeah, we were just scared you got hurt, that’s all. We’re sorry for yelling.”
A tingle of relief washes down Renjun’s spine when he sees the frown on the kid’s face disappear into a little smile. “I can make a thousand of those toys if I wanted. I’ll even make one for you too.”
“Maybe not glass though.”
Renjun thinks it’s not much, but it does the trick. Enough for Minhee to quiet down and offer the both of them a small, sheepish smile.
Renjun doesn’t realise he’s sporting the same look on his face until Jaemin and he share a knowing look and something new feels like it’s clicking into place. This unknown revelation that blooms in his chest he has never thought to entertain before.
This is something he could get used to. Something they could get used to.
“So, who’s hungry?”
Thankfully, they don’t fuck up dinner too and everything goes by smoothly. Minhee devours Jaemin’s cooking without much restraint and then hobbles over to the living room to play with his toys as they clear the table.
Jaemin shoos Renjun out after the dishes are cleaned since he’s the only one allowed to organize their plates back because (apparently) Renjun tends to disregard his bomb (Jaemin’s words, not his) colour-coding system.
“Are you gonna be okay watching over Minhee if I go upstairs and read for a bit?”
“Go ahead.”
He hooks his chin over Jaemin’s shoulder, hands reaching out to fold his sleeves up for him before they get themselves wet in the process. “Sure?”
Jaemin casts him a side-glance, only a little offended at the question. “Babe, I think I can handle a 3-year old.”
“Mhm, last time I left you two alone, you lost him in our own home.”
He laughs when Jaemin groans, a hint of humour in his voice. “Are you ever going to let me live that down?”
A kiss on the cheek shuts him up pretty easily. “Maybe in a few months.”
He doesn’t get a lot of reading done. Which he should have realised sooner. Between Minhee’s tantrums and Jaemin’s antics, Renjun feels like he’s babysitting twice the number of kids he promised. But once it starts to rain outside and the cold night air fogs their windows, he starts to settle into the rhythm of his book and the cosiness of their creaky bed.
A solid half an hour goes by and Renjun is so engrossed in the last few pages of his book and the soft, white linen wrapped around him that he doesn’t notice Jaemin entering the room until he feels the bed dip around his feet, instantly leaving the glasses perched on the bridge of his nose crooked.
The greeting falls short on his lips when he remembers they’re not the only ones in the house.
“Where’s Minhee?”
Instinctively, his back straightens against the headboard, almost in a form of panic.
Jaemin simply smiles and rests a thoughtful hand on his thigh, heavy under the layers of sheets. “He’s fine. He’s playing games on his iPad in the other room. I’ll check on him again in a bit.”
“Do you really not have any faith in me?” Jaemin teases, inching closer to him that Renjun can smell the caramel sweets on his breath. Both his hands are on his thighs now, as if he’s asking permission to get closer. Renjun thinks that sometimes, even Jaemin forgets they’re married.
He puts one finger in between the pages he’s reading and moves his arms to the side, allowing Jaemin to snake up to him. Once he feels the sharp outline of a chin against his shoulder, he winds his arms around Jaemin’s waist and gets back to reading.
The position is far from comfortable but neither of them are able to complain when they’re both so warm and this is the closest they’ve physically been to each other all day.
“Tired?” He whispers on Jaemin’s cheek, only to have him shrink in his arms and snuggle impossibly closer into the crook of his neck.
“Yef,” his answer comes out muffled against his skin, wet and hot breath.
They leave it at that and Renjun finally gets back to his book, readjusting their position every few seconds, careful not to jostle too much to strain Jaemin’s neck.
He doesn’t get far even then. An estimated 3 minutes pass by and at one point, Renjun thinks his husband must have fallen asleep with how quiet he is. Even the way their chests pressed against each other and the slow rhythm of his breathing feels like he’s one breath away from snoring.
Renjun’s muscle twitches the moment Jaemin’s lips graze the vein on his neck. He brushes it off as accidental, even if he suddenly becomes hyper-aware of every little movement that occurs after. He should’ve realised sooner that Jaemin never does anything without intention.
This time, it’s made very obvious that it’s a kiss when Jaemin makes sure to smack his lips against his neck, still tracing the jugular from before - preying on Renjun’s sensitivity. The bastard , he thinks.
A shiver runs up his spine when the lips venture further north, leaving kisses in their wake and stops just below his jaw. Renjun can feel the wet tongue press flat against his pink skin, making it increasingly harder to focus on the words in his book that start swirling in the air when he feels Jaemin’s hands snake under their blanket. He’s already sweating from all the layers but his body is positively burning at this point and why are there so many damn throw pillows on their bed? He needs Jaemin’s touch quick and this blanket off even quicker. Renjun hates that even after the years, the countless times they’ve done this and gone beyond innocent touches - it still manages to leave him flustered every time.
Warm fingertips press against his soft flesh, creating red divots on his skin as they trail under his pyjama shirt and up his chest. Feathery, light touches that leave goosebumps on his arms. The book in his hand has been completely abandoned to the side in favour of feeling Jaemin up by his thighs, his muscular build that has Renjun’s head spinning with want.
Given the variety of things Jaemin has heard him say throughout the years, a whimper is the least embarrassing sound he can make once Jaemin settles on a spot on his neck, letting his teeth graze against the skin before nibbling it red.
“ Jaemin, ”
His own hands have started to wander past dangerous territory and he can tell Jaemin enjoys the heat of his palms just by the way his smile widens against his neck.
“Hmm?” Jaemin feigns innocence like the teasing bastard he is.
He lifts his head from his neck now, lips red and slick with his own spit. His body lets out a full blown shudder. Renjun is trying everything in his power not to give in that easily and go absolutely feral at the sight. Although it’s hard when those fingers by his waist are purposely meant to push him off the edge.
“What’s up, baby?”
Jaemin asks as if his own cheeks are not flushed with embarrassment and tenderness. It’s a non-question with no answer that Renjun can give him with words. The only thing on his mind is the distance between their faces and Jaemin’s pretty, inviting lips.
He’s been a goner since day one.
It’s Jaemin’s smile, and his laugh, and his eyes, and teases, and his warm, tempting, very big hands-
“Uncle JunJun~ Nana! Nana!”
The sound of their door swinging wide open causes a loud, comical shatter in the intimate space between them. Like a switch triggered within him, Renjun’s muscles channel every strength they can gather and practically flings Jaemin off to the other side of their bed that he ends up falling onto the floor with a blunt thump .
“Ow~” He whines out a moment later, strained.
But it doesn’t take long until he bursts out in small fits of laughter once the realisation hits him, unable to contain it from escaping past his lips.
Renjun on the other hand, doesn’t seem to find it funny at the moment. He is too caught up by the burning heat washing over his face and the train of embarrassment that follows right after to take time and scold Jaemin for finding any of this entertaining. If his face wasn’t red before, he sure as hell can feel it melting off his bones now. Nothing is more embarrassing than being caught exchanging bedroom eyes with your partner, especially being caught by a 3-year-old. Now, that is just brutal. He doubts he’ll ever recover from this.
Both of them had been caught up in the moment, neither one seemed to remember that Minhee was only in the room beside theirs. They were lucky he had barged in when he did and not a second later. Just thinking about it has Renjun irked at himself for letting the intimacy and comfort cloud his responsibilities.
“What is it, sweetheart?” He asks, almost out of breath from getting whiplash.
It’s almost as if Jaemin enjoys making him embarrassed because he ends up letting a bigger chuckle at Renjun’s poor attempt of brushing everything under the rug. A glare that threatens him for a night on the couch in solitude has Jaemin shutting up just as fast.
Minhee tilts his head adorably, doe eyes wide with curiosity. “TV?”
“You want to watch the TV downstairs?”
A nod from the kid along with his frazzled and curly hair makes him look like a puppy. Renjun’s heart melts at the comparison.
“I’ll do it.”
Jaemin emerges from the other side of their bed, traces of pink undeniably present in his cheeks from before. His hair is sticking up in funny directions and a button from his shirt has come undone, possibly from the fall. He dusts his pants and stands a little straighter.
“I’ll turn the TV on for him downstairs.” Jaemin sticks his hand out for Minhee to take.
Renjun finds it suspicious that Jaemin hasn’t jumped at the opportunity to tease him over what just happened but he’s not complaining; he will count his blessings when given.
Often, he forgets the man he’s married to.
Jaemin pauses by the doorframe, head still peeking into the bedroom. There is a mischievous glint in his eyes. “And I’ll turn you on later.”
He narrowly escapes the pillow thrown his way.
After what feels like an eternity, Renjun finally powers through the last few pages of his book and scrolls through his phone for a little bit before he really starts getting into bed. He slides through the pictures Hyuck sent to the group chat, of him and Mark’s little getaway - which isn’t much except for two photos of them chilling by the pool. Renjun responds with a heart emoji and updates them on Minhee (promptly leaving out any harsh details about their sculpture accident) and turns his phone off for the night.
He responds to some emails on his laptop and browses through some online shops for Jaemin’s birthday gift before his eyes get droopy (it’s never too early for gift planning, especially for someone like Jaemin. Renjun can be married to him for 5 years or 500 years and still would not be able to master the art of buying presents for him. Not because Jaemin is picky, but because he’s the exact opposite. He appreciates the hell out of every single thing Renjun has given him, whether it’s a pair of socks or the newest Thermomixer, his reaction is theatrical every single time. And Renjun is constantly on the hunt to one-up himself each birthday and anniversary).
He accidentally hits his head on their headboard once he jolts awake, catching himself in the process of sleeping while sitting down. He can already hear Jaemin berate him for the habit.
But now that he thinks about it, a full hour must have passed since the last time he had seen Jaemin or Minhee for that matter. Were they still downstairs watching TV? The last time he saw Jaemin was when he had gone back upstairs to retrieve his iPad before returning back downstairs. If Renjun shuts his eyes, he can hear the faint sound of a movie playing softly.
The bed is definitely way too comfortable and warm for him to want to move but glancing at the clock on his bedside table and seeing how it’s already a little past 11 pm, he knows it’s only right to disrupt Jaemin and Minhee’s little bonding session for some well-deserved sleep time.
What he doesn’t expect upon entering the living room, is to find the both of them fast asleep already, caught up in each other's arms as the movie continues to play in the background. Jaemin is sleeping with his head tilted and resting against the crown of Minhee’s head as he lets out soft snores. From the looks of it, Renjun can only guess he’s barricading the kid from falling off the edge of the couch and couldn’t help but fall asleep himself in the end.
Minhee seems to have the same idea in mind - his tiny hand clutching Jaemin’s shirt in a fist, drooling onto it as his head rests on his chest.
Renjun feels tempted to make the run back upstairs for his phone, just to capture this moment right here. Instead, he reaches for Jaemin’s phone on the table, snapping a picture and sending it to the group chat before pocketing it. Not a moment later, he can feel it buzzing continuously in his back pocket (definitely Donghyuck losing his mind over it) as he detaches Minhee’s arm from Jaemin, who’s stuck to him almost like velcro.
He resists for a little while, letting out whines until Renjun props his head on his shoulder and he goes quiet, content with the warm embrace. Renjun carries him up the stairs and tucks him into bed, sitting at the edge for a few seconds to make sure he doesn’t jostle back awake. Like this, sleeping soundly, Minhee looks especially like a miniature version of Donghyuck. His lips are pinched at the edge, pouting even in his sleep. It makes him think of all the things Donghyuck had to go through as a single parent until he (finally) got with Mark in the process. The tears, sleepless nights and all the times he was forced to knock on Renjun and Jaemin’s doorstep after being kicked out by his landlord.
Renjun can’t speak for him, but he’s sure Donghyuck would say it was all worth it in the end.
He leaves with a kiss on Minhee’s cheek.
Renjun trots downstairs half-expecting his husband to be awake and ready to head to bed, but instead, Jaemin has sunk further into the sofa. His body is turned the other way now, able to move in any direction now that he’s free from the clutches of Minhee’s tiny hands.
“Jaemin-ah, wake up.”
He presses a warm hand on Jaemin’s forearm, only to be rudely turned away and groaned at. This right here is why he feels like he’s babysitting two kids instead of one.
He tries again, gentler this time (because he knows Jaemin has a weak spot for his soft-spoken voice, and although Renjun is not one to prey on others’ weaknesses, he thinks it’s justified this one time).
“Baby,” he crouches beside him, “you’re going to get a sore neck if you sleep on the couch.”
“Hmm.”
Silence.
Just when he thinks Jaemin must have fallen back asleep, he gets a small reply.
“Can you carry me up the stairs too?”
Renjun laughs with an unexpected fit past his lips at the odd request. He realises Jaemin is being serious a moment later when his eyes meet a weary glare.
“What? With these arms?” He flails his arms around, sending Jaemin an incredulous look.
His husband sits up in a huff instead, without a trace of sleepiness on his face and all signs of tiredness drained from his body. “Well, they had no trouble launching me off the bed earlier.”
Now it’s Renjun’s turn to groan, “Are you ever going to let me live that down?”
A kiss on his cheek humours him. “Maybe in a few months.”
(They end up taking turns massaging each other before inevitably falling asleep, limbs tangled up together. Renjun wakes up the next day with drool tracks on his shirt and only one fully functioning arm as Jaemin claims his other in a tight grip. Renjun doesn’t attempt to detach himself from him. He has his weaknesses too and Jaemin knows this).
Once the first few bits of light shine through the blinds, they spend the morning sitting by the garden and having breakfast until the rain kicks in at noon. After that Jaemin heats up last night’s dinner and they sit in the living room watching shows until Minhee falls back asleep for his afternoon nap (which Renjun makes sure he takes, especially after yesterday’s hectic events).
“The house is going to be so quiet without him.” Jaemin says suddenly, after the credits for their 3rd movie of the day rolls up. He has Minhee’s head on his lap and his brown locks between his fingers.
“He’s not going anywhere,” Renjun chuckles, “he’ll still visit.”
His words seem to pass by Jaemin like dust. He has his eyes fixated on Minhee.
“I know. I guess I just got used to his presence. The house feels… fuller.”
In an odd way, Renjun understands what he means. He feels the shift in the air. Their walls feel less thin than they were 2 days ago and their day feels shorter but holds so much more substance. Renjun can name more things they did yesterday than he can for the entirety of last week.
It feels strangely fulfilling. This presence. Throughout yesterday he could feel this revelation dawning onto him, like something new is just beginning to rise over the surface. At certain times, he can see it on Jaemin’s face too. This sudden feeling that’s blooming. This shift in their dynamic, making room for something a little more. Something new.
Jaemin cuts off his thoughts with a kiss on his knuckle. “I’m gonna make a fruit bowl, you want one?”
“I’m good.”
He looks to Minhee one last time before gently manoeuvring his head away. “Okay.”
(He makes Renjun a fruit bowl anyway. Only mangoes and papayas just how he likes it).
Surely enough, Mark and Donghyuck return back from their trip in the afternoon, just when Minhee has woken up from his nap, energized and pumped full of spirit.
As soon as he hears the doorbell ring, he’s the first one to reach the door until Jaemin makes his way to the entrance and greets the couple.
“Dada!” Minhee jumps straight into Mark’s arms, without missing a beat. And Mark comes fully prepared with open arms ready to welcome his embrace.
“Hey, baby. Did you have a good time with your uncles?”
Minhee hums, already reaching out to Donghyuck who is standing just behind him.
“Fun?” He asks.
“Oh, we all had a lot of fun.” Renjun snickers, getting a bigger smile from Minhee in return.
“Well, I hope he wasn’t any trouble.”
“Of course not. Minhee is never any trouble.”
Jaemin winks. “Come on in, I just boiled some water and Renjun was about to make some tea.”
They end up staying a little bit longer than they had planned. Mark was too busy recalling all the details of their trip and Donghyuck would not stop going on about how this had been the first time he had truly rested in years.
Renjun won’t lie and say he doesn’t feel a tinge of disappointment when Mark excuses them and starts packing Minhee’s things back into a bag.
“Bye little bud,” Jaemin crouches by the doorframe, his thumb covering almost the entirety of Minhee’s small hand.
Mark has slung his diaper bag and small backpack on his shoulder, a hand patting Minhee’s head as his uncles bid him goodbye.
“I’ll make that toy and give it to you next time you visit.”
Renjun goes for a hug and smiles contentedly when scrawny arms linger over his neck, squeezing him in a tight embrace.
“Bye-bye JunJun.”
“Hey, what about me?” Jaemin feigns upset, pouting like any other kid would when a toy is waved before their very eyes. He gets toppled over in an embrace quickly after, from what looks like an even tighter hug.
Mark taps on his shoulder as a last sign to go when Donghyuck motions them over from the driveway, clearly eager to go home and hit the hay on his actual bed, preferably with his kid in his arms. Renjun doesn’t blame him, he’s very much open to laying in bed with a certain someone in his arms right now too.
“Thanks again guys,” Mark sends them a smile over his shoulder. The orange sun that’s setting over the line of trees shines light on the planes of his face, the rough edges of his cheekbones and smile lines that run through the sides of his chin from years of watching Minhee grow up right before his eyes. In this light, Renjun thinks he has really grown into the father he had always thought he’d become. Kind, loving and affectionate. Someone he aspires to be one day.
A somewhat familiar tingle greets his chest.
Renjun pushes himself off his knees and joins Jaemin in waving them off. Jaemin is wearing a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants that hang loose on his hips but his body heat is so delicious when paired with the yellow warmth that floods their doorstep, Renjun just can’t help but sink further into the embrace. At the moment, he needs to feel grounded because something has suddenly tilted his axis and he isn’t sure if he’s ready to come to terms with it just yet.
The quieter the house gets, the stronger the feeling in his chest becomes - like a weight pressing into his lungs.
Jaemin doesn’t ask why Renjun is suddenly affectionate.
This moment needs no words. Just an understanding that they're both different in similar ways. Jaemin loves him in loud gestures, constant touches and teasing words. And Renjun will love him quietly, with his restricted touches that leave Jaemin hungry and full for days, with simple gestures like this.
This love they have goes beyond the bounds of any words they can conjure up. And even if they could describe it, Renjun thinks he would rather not. It’s theirs and only theirs to know, to share. But he’s starting to think, maybe… just maybe, they’ve unknowingly made room for another.
Funnily enough, they don’t spend much time staying up. Renjun starts getting sleepy as soon as they’re done with dinner and decides to slip under the covers a little early, wasting time folding their dried laundry as a YouTube video mindlessly plays on the big TV.
Jaemin had to run by the nearby convenience store to get some bread and buns for tomorrow’s breakfast since neither of them would have the time in the morning. Renjun knows he gets especially sulky when they can’t have a proper breakfast together before work, which means Jaemin will get touchier and more affectionate than usual when he gets home. Renjun won’t try to pretend he dislikes it though, that’s just how Jaemin recharges. And he’s lived with him long enough to understand almost all of his husband’s mood patterns.
Renjun picks up a nearby shirt and starts the process of folding yet another section of their laundry. The conspiracy video in the background recalls the details of a well known crime case - a rabbit hole he has seemingly fallen into after hours of binging through them, to a point where Jaemin has once had to pry his hands off his laptop and drag him downstairs like a child just to eat.
He can easily admit that maybe… maybe, he feels like an overgrown child sometimes too.
But this time, Renjun is doing anything but listening. He’s much too preoccupied with getting the collar up on this shirt and thinking of how little bit of laundry they actually have. Sure, Jaemin wears a few more t-shirts in one day than he does, but folding their daily laundry never takes longer than 5 minutes.
But the laundry isn’t exactly the main point here, rather the lack of it.
It reminds him of something Jaemin had said earlier, an off-handed comment that wasn’t really supposed to mean anything. But it has been gnawing at the back of Renjun’s mind for the past few hours.
“The house feels… fuller.”
And it did. Somehow, someway, it feels a little emptier now. Like the walls have stretched wider and the ceilings have appeared a little higher than before. Like the amount of laundry Renjun has folded today is trivial compared to the days before, even if they are the same amount.
As he sits here, folding only their laundry, he feels like he should be folding another set of clothes alongside these. Suddenly, two people for a house like this feels too little.
Renjun remembers when they had first moved in here and he spent a week trying to figure out if he had an issue with the size. Sure, it was a lot bigger than their last apartment in the city but this was all their savings poured into one. His mother always told him, a mortgage practically counts as your firstborn. He wanted it to be big enough to a point where Jaemin and him could have their own personal spaces without having to compromise.
But now, it feels a bit hollow. The silence in the house never bothered him that much. He thinks it’s one of the perks of living in a small town, there’s peace and quiet all around. But now, it’s all he can hear. The lack of footsteps, the quietness within their walls. Renjun finds himself missing someone - a presence - he has yet to meet, but the ache is there, all the same.
He almost gets startled off the bed when Jaemin suddenly enters without a knock. He removes his puffy black jacket and stuffs it in the closet over a hanger, completely oblivious to the jumpscare he had given his husband.
There is a stack of envelopes in his right hand (unopened letters from their front mailbox they have abandoned for weeks now) which he arranges on their desk neatly before finally tearing into them with his back facing Renjun.
“Want my help?” He asks, out of the blue.
“Hm?” Renjun replies, still a little out of it.
Jaemin sends him a glance over his shoulder, a small smile gracing his lips. “The laundry. Want my help?”
“No, that’s okay. I’m already done.”
Renjun gets a hum in return and then silence falls upon them as Jaemin shuffles through the letters and the video continues playing. But Renjun can do anything but pay attention to the case. Instead, he fiddles with his thumbs and musters up enough courage to voice out the one thought that has been floating in his mind since yesterday.
“Actually, Jaemin-ah?”
“Yep?”
“Can I,-” he pauses and pushes his legs over the edge of the bed before standing up. The jitters are too much for him to do this sitting down. “Can I ask you something?”
“Mhm~”
The rustling sound of paper sliding against each other fills the room.
“Have you ever thought about having kids?”
The rustling stops for a second and it almost makes Renjun’s heart drop to his stomach. Then there’s the sound of an envelope tearing and Jaemin unfolds another letter.
Almost nonchalantly, he answers, “I mean I guess, yeah. I’ve thought about it before.”
Renjun pushes the hair out of his eyes. “No, I mean like- like… with me.”
This seems to catch Jaemin’s attention enough for him to abandon the remainder of the letters as he spins around and meets Renjun’s eyes with a serious look on his face. It feels intimate for a conversation this important. It makes Renjun’s stomach drop another 6 feet and his mouth goes dry at the sight.
So it completely throws him off when Jaemin gets closer and extends an arm out, pressing his warm palm flat on Renjun’s stomach.
In a low voice, he asks, “You’re not pregnant are you?”
And suddenly, the silence and thinly veiled tension shatters like a record scratching in the background. Renjun almost bites his entire arm off.
Instead, he slaps it off with a grumble, shooting his husband a well-deserved glare. He can’t believe he thought they could hold a serious conversation for once. Sometimes, Renjun forgets who he really married.
Jaemin howls in pain at the impact but that stupid grin doesn’t falter from his lips. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry, it’s just that you sounded so serious.”
“That’s because I am serious!” He throws his hands up in the air and plops down on their bed with a huff.
“I know, but that’s scary~”
The bed dips to the side when Jaemin takes a seat at the edge, right beside him. He tugs on Renjun’s arm until he sits upright just like him. “Okay, okay, I’ll be serious this time. I promise.”
Renjun eyes him one last time, like a silent “Really?”
For the first time that night, he actually sees Jaemin flush a little under the stare. He ends up fiddling with Renjun’s fingers to help him stay focused.
Jaemin once said to him that it is the one thing that has always made him feel better, no matter what. Not just holding hands but holding Renjun in general. To have him close in proximity makes him breathe a little easier. Jaemin can be friendly and bubbly, upon first glance, but most wouldn’t assume he would be so much of a reserved person. But after years of being together, Renjun has learned secrets about Jaemin no one else will ever hear of.
‘Energy source,’ that’s what Jaemin compares him to most of the time. ( “Kind of like the sun,” he says ).
“Of course, I’ve thought about it.” Jaemin smiles. “I knew I wanted to have kids with you even before we got married.”
The space between Renjun’s brow twitches. “Really? Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
In the years they’ve been married, Jaemin has mentioned them having kids only once or twice and both times were said in a joking manner or as a side comment. Renjun prides himself on being observant but he never thought much about it.
Jaemin shrugs. “Well, I didn’t think there was a time limit.”
There wasn’t. But something about knowing Jaemin had been thinking of it long before he ever did wedges a guilty stake between the tender part of Renjun’s chest and his heart. Jaemin tugs on his fingers before he has time to spiral even further.
“I know what you’re thinking. And no, I didn’t not tell you because I was scared. I didn’t mention it because I didn’t think it was important at the time. I wanted it to come up naturally, like right now.”
Now, Renjun is reminded of the kind of man he’s married to. More than playful, Jaemin is understanding above all. He will push when he needs to but never at the expense of Renjun’s feelings. It’s one of the things he still doesn’t get about him. Jaemin may be stubborn at times but he is the most level-headed and patient stubborn person you could ever meet. Renjun thinks if it ever comes down to it, Jaemin would willingly wait a thousand years for him.
“Have you ever thought about having kids?” Jaemin asks, eyeing him nervously. Renjun gives it to him straight.
“I mean, I’ve thought about it once or twice but not seriously. And I didn’t plan for it or anything… I don’t know.” Now it’s his turn to twiddle with Jaemin’s fingers.
“But I have been thinking about it recently. Probably subconsciously for a while now too and- I want us to talk about it.” He looks up to see Jaemin watching him so intently that he can practically feel the heat run up the back of his neck. “Because I think… I think I’m ready, if you’re ready and if you want this too.”
Jaemin offers him his second sheepish smile of the night. He leans his forehead against Renjun’s shoulder, so close that Renjun can smell the scent of their shampoo, minty and fresh on his hair. He can even feel the tip of Jaemin’s warm nose pressing against his side.
“Of course I want to have a family with you, Renjun. And I’m glad you want to talk about this. But I want you to know that we don’t have to rush into anything.” Jaemin lifts his head. “I’m going to spend the rest of my life with you, I don’t mind waiting a few extra years.”
He should have predicted that Jaemin would say something like this. He’s always quick to jump to reassurances. Renjun pushes the stray strand of hair behind Jaemin’s ears when it falls beautifully over his eyes and Jaemin seemingly melts into a puddle in his hands from this.
“I know, but I am ready.”
These three words feel liberating, like a heavy secret he has just unloaded out into the world. Because it’s true. Renjun is ready, possibly for a long time now too. They both are.
“Kids are a handful, you know. They poop, like a lot.” Jaemin says.
Renjun laughs now, laying on his back. He feels a body cuddling up beside him, one leg wrapping over his torso.
“Oh yeah? I had no idea.”
“Mhm. And they break sculptures and throw tantrums.”
“Hm.”
“They also cry a lot, and-” Jaemin gasps like he’s been hit by a daunting realisation, “What if our kid is straight?”
Our kid. Renjun already loves the way the words roll off his tongue. He cannot wait to say it again, over and over until it becomes ingrained into his vocabulary. Until it no longer feels like a foreign phrase. Our kid.
“Are you sure you’re ready for it all?” Jaemin asks, one last time even though they both know the answer.
Renjun turns to him and meets kind, gentle eyes looking back at him - almost flooding with adoration and excitement. He knows Jaemin wants this just as much as he does. Maybe even more.
“I’m ready for it all if it means you’ll be here with me for every step of the way.”
The hands around his waist tightens.
“Of course. I told you I’m going to spend the rest of my life with you, didn’t I? You can’t get rid of me that easily, baby.”
Jaemin may be joking but nothing in his words is far from the truth. This will be it, forever.
“You’re going to be a great dad, Renjun.”
He feels warm lips greet his temple in a chaste kiss but Jaemin doesn’t turn away quick enough that Renjun is able to catch his lips midway. “You too. You’re going to be amazing. That kid is going to be so lucky.”
He can almost imagine it. That empty bedroom down the hall turned into a lovely nursery. Maybe they’ll paint it something bright, like yellow or blue or green. Renjun could paint a mural over the bed and Jaemin would spend his time decorating, baby-proofing every aspect of their house.
Funny Christmas sweaters, warm summer afternoons spent sunbathing in Jaemin’s garden, quiet mornings now a little louder and livelier and possibly a lot more tears. Mostly from Renjun, if he’s honest.
All this and they hadn’t even thought about the age range yet. What kind of parents would they be? Would they be sweet and relaxed like Donghyuck and Mark? Or more on the serious side?
Parents, Renjun thinks. Now there’s a word. There are so many more questions left unanswered, awaiting the future conversations they will hold and the bridges they will have to cross when the time is right, but no word has ever felt so right like this one.
For now, Renjun soaks in Jaemin’s embrace and all their uncertainties, close enough he could practically melt into Jaemin and they could mould into one being. A big blob of messy choices, sweet histories and scary beginnings that settle warmly on the surface of their skin, like armour saying ‘This is us. In all its entirety.’
And the world would simply have to take them as they are.
For now, Renjun allows himself to be consumed completely by this embrace that has become a constant in his life.
The moment is shattered when he feels something enveloping his bottom, quite generously he might add, leading him to snap his eyes open.
Of course, leave it to Jaemin to ruin a perfectly intimate moment. Renjun doesn’t even think he’s doing it on purpose at this point.
“Hand off my ass please,” he warns, closing his eyes back satisfyingly when Jaemin’s hand flinches off.
“Sorry, habit.”