Work Text:
Andy: "Since you're new, Nile, let's quickly go over the house rules that apply when we all are together under one roof."
Joe, Nicky, and Booker sighed and rolled their eyes simultaneously because they hated the house rules.
Andy: "Rule 1, Joe?"
Joe: "Always wear pants and a T-shirt when you leave the bedroom and in common areas. Shoes are optional."
Andy: "Rule 2, Nicky?"
Nicky: "Kissing and cuddling together on the sofa is allowed. Everything else takes place in the bedroom behind a closed door."
Andy: "Rule 3, Booker?"
Booker: "Don't threaten or fire your gun indoors when your comrades act like lovesick idiots."
Andy: "Rule 4, Joe?"
Joe: "Naked Thursday or any other weekday dinner doesn't exist during missions, and if you flirt too much at dinner time, you get a night on the sofa alone."
Andy: "Rule 5, Nicky?"
Nicky: "The table is for eating, not weapon maintenance."
Andy: "Aren't you forgetting something, Nicky?"
Nicky: "Under no circumstance do you throw your husband on the dining table unless it's your own table."
Andy: "Rule 6, Book?"
Booker: "Don't drink Andy's booze while remembering rule 3."
Nile: "What happens if you break the rules?"
Andy: "Joe broke rule 1 back in 1890 and had to wash all our clothes after a mission in the hand. It took him ten days."
After Andy has left them to get some sleep.
Nile: "Why do I get a feeling that as soon Andy turns her back on you guys, you're breaking the rules?"
Booker: "We try our best to behave when Andy is around."
Nicky: "We also made a common rule amongst ourselves when Andy is around, but it's up to you if you want to follow it!"
Nile: "And what is that rule?"
Joe: "Try not to upset the Lady with the big axe!"