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To think the world is ending would be an overstatement.
Without her , MY world is ending. That's much better phrasing, isn't it?
Her little quirks that made me both disturbingly irritable but yet feel warm and fuzzy inside. A feeling I haven’t felt in years ever since my pursuing the alchemical arts.
So why…
Why did she leave ?
I’m lost, Ulla. Clueless. I’ve never been as confused in my life, so damn you.
Damn you Ulla for waltzing your incompetent, excruciatingly mind-blowing knowledge of alchemical life into my damned, lonesome life.
Next time, if we face this life again, please leave me to die.
Even if it means getting rid of the memories I made with you all those years ago.
🎕┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈🎕
All Donella felt when she woke up was a chill in the air. A sharp, yet eye-opening chill. The kind of chill that sent bone-shocking shivers down your spine, yet like the kind where if you basked in its chilly feeling, you’d feel a sense of disturbing warmth.
The thought of the tiniest bit of warmth made Donella shudder, bringing her shoulders lurching forward in a hunched-over position as she sat up in her delirious, bed-ridden state.
It’s been a while since I felt that same warmth. Not since…
Before finishing her thoughts, the older woman scowled, scoffing impatiently before sitting up fully.
“I’m independent. I’ve been here for myself more than anyone. If anyone knows me better, it’s me! Not anyone. Not even…!” She stopped before leaning forward to spit the morning residue from her lips.
Letting her lips dry out, all she felt was an overlooking omen watching her every move. Almost like her conscience knew . Like an overbearing spirit was watching her, a familiar laugh rang through the doorway.
“All these years. Even after having your son and my own son rescue me from that torturous imprisonment for 10 years, you still go back to your cave of darkness and cast me away wanting to be alone. Classic Donnie .”
Feeling her eye twitch by the mention of that nickname, Don’s body curled further into her own bare clutches.
Speak of the devil.
“…Ulla.”
The two watched each other at a tense stalemate, the tension almost as thin as paper just ready to be torn to bits and pieces like their relationship.
“Are you ready to talk?” Ulla questioned, feeling Donella’s icy-cold glare hit hers.
You got a whole lotta nerve asking that question again.
Gathering up her confidence, she turned her nose up at Ulla, side-eying her. “So why are you here?”
Clearly taken aback by her not answering, Ulla slowly shifted her weight on her side.
“Wow… what happened?”
Scowling once more, Don slammed her hand against the dresser. “ YOU LEFT ME! I spent those years raising an orphaned child… you left your own husband to take care of your son with little to no reasoning.”
“Donnie please -“
“Don’t..!”
Biting back her harsh words, she sighed as her teeth gritted together. “Don’t…don’t call me that. Please .”
After speaking, she carefully brought her arms close to her chest as a form of timid comfort.
Ulla saw Donella’s hurt expression plastered on her face. It was impossible to ignore. The old woman wasn’t one to admit her wrongs or her feelings, so she could imagine what it was like for her son or how she felt at that time.
Oh Don. I’m sorry for leaving you. Can you ever spare some forgiveness in your closed-off heart that I caused?
Taking a cautious step towards the seemingly upset woman, Ulla placed a hand on Donella’s shoulder- not saying a word.
“Ulla. I have a question.”
Seeing the woman in question nod her head, she let her speak.
“How do you say… the words you used to say to me all the time?”
Letting out a small chortle, Ulla raised an eyebrow. “You’re gonna have to be more specific. I said many words. Is it an alchemical word, scientific…”
Feeling the fumes of fury fully take her words, she snapped. “How do you say 'I love you'?!”
Damnit.
The silence was still, ringing with Donella's yell of plea. The air was thin enough to drop a pin and hear the clinks of metal as it tossed and turned until it’s ultimate demise remained on the floor.
“Donella, I thought we promised not to use those words again.” Ulla reinstated, blinking twice at her partner. “You told me to never use them again, and now you decide to throw this on me. You’re confusing, dearest.”
“At least your answer isn’t as straight to the point as mine.”
Feeling the tension in Ulla’s voice, the older woman calmed herself, taking deep breaths.
“Think about it!! Would you rather have me say it with no emotion or so.. full of emotion?! Like how you said it to me each time you said goodnight.”
Bringing a hand to Don’s cheek, she took a sigh. “I… Donella.. please . You- you locked me away, knowing that I couldn’t be freed-“
“That’s a lie .” Don snapped, slapping Ulla’s hand away. “You were resistant. I had no choice but to. For the safety of Corona, Bayangor….”
Seeing as she trailed off, she was missing that one final snippet to fully break Ulla. Just to test the limits on her dear, old lab partner.
“Your son.” She sneered, wrenching her hand to her chest. “You know. The one that you clearly hurt? The one that seemed so hesitant on saving his own mother— that son, Ulla?
“How dare you bring my Varian into this!” She snapped, her eyes narrowing directly into her companion’s sweet eyes that held no mercy. “He’s just a boy!”
“You’re wrong, Ulla.” Donella stepped forward to softly grasp Ulla’s ginger wisps of hair in-between her fingertips. “He’s an adult now with feelings of hope, possibly resentment of you after what he faced. If anything, I have more respect for Quirin than for you at this moment.”
Taking a step back, Ulla sneered. No words came from her mouth while thinking of a witty comeback to throw back at Donella.
After falling flat on her response, she began to walk away defeatedly.
Laying a gentle hand on Don’s door frame as she patted the gently carved wood framing softly, her smile faltered. “Maybe you’re not my happy ending, but you’ll always be my favorite chapter in this story. One day… when we come into this life again, maybe then I’ll tell you those words.”
“Well… what words, Ulla?”
Extending her fingers out to brush Ulla’s shoulder, all she felt was the ginger pull away with a smile. “That I still love you. You’re my favorite fairytale ending in a sea full of rising antagonists. Each time I see the sun and moon rise, I think of you.”
After those parting words, Donella never saw Ulla again.
May death bring us back together again, Ulla.
It’s been months since that fateful encounter. Don was itching just to hear those words from Ulla’s mouth. Maybe then, the voices of regret and guilt would stop plundering her into a deep, sickening depression .
With one swift movement of her hands, the air went still. Nature stopped in its green, yet fulfilling presence. A soft, parting gasp left the old woman’s lips before going stone cold at the touch and then—
Quiet.
🎕🎕━━━━━━━━━━🎕🎕
Sit meus moriens spiritum echo tua in auribus tuis, amor meus. Donum unspeakable amor loqueris, erit portare in aeternum.
-Donella