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There isn't much to say but Banri is a nervous wreck.
The rest of his friends easily agree, and they do absolutely nothing to calm his beating heart and overthinking brain, despite their countless attempts to do so. Which is easily as frustrating to them as it is frustrating for him. Because, what the fuck. Banri Settsu does not get nervous. Ever.
"Banri, dude... you've gotta calm down," Tenma deadpans, looking at him directly from across the table, his eyebrows furrowed in frustration. "You are so not going to get anything done at this point if you don't calm the fuck down. Besides, it's not like you're proposing today."
"I fucking know," Banri groans, placing his head in his hands before he lets out the most un-Banri Settsu scream that he can muster. "Why the fuck is this so hard?"
Tenma can only shrug his shoulders, looking at Itaru in an attempt to ask for help because God knows Tenma Sumeragi has no idea how to do a proposal. Itaru merely laughs, patting Banri's back to at least try consoling him. Ah, the things love can do.
"Because you've never done this before and this whole thing you're trying to do is literally going to change your relationship with Sakuya for the better?" Itaru offers, a hint of teasing evident in his voice. Banri finally lifts his head from his hands, before he stares at Itaru, void of any emotion, before he decides to bury his face back into his hands once again. Itaru was not helping.
"Shut up, Itaru. You can't say shit especially that it was Citron who proposed to you. All you had to do was say yes," Banri grunts. Itaru's eyebrow raise, his face now morphing into faux offense as he looks at Banri, clearly enjoying the state of panic that the Autumn Troupe leader was currently in. Yes, Itaru was frustrated that Banri was being like this, but seeing the usually cool-as-a-cucumber actor losing his shit was fun for Itaru.
"Alright, maybe you need a change of pace. Or some air," Tenma suggests, gesturing at the courtyard behind them. Without a word, Banri stands up and leaves the living room, breathing in the fresh air their yard has to offer. The beating of his heart still hasn't stabilized, but he hopes that the scenery change could lessen the loud drumming of his heart.
Truthfully, it still scares him to know that he's the one in their relationship planning to take the next step. Often, it was Sakuya who initiated most of the step-ups - their first kiss, their first hug, their first date - it was always Sakuya who took the lead. But this was what he wanted - to be able to finally call Sakuya his husband, his other half. Years of being with Sakuya has him craving for more, and this time he wants something that he knows is permanent, sealed with a promise that the both of them would not break.
But what if he doesn't want it? What if it was a no? His brain supplies him with the most negative of aftermaths, bypassing the ones that give him results that he wanted. Admittedly, he knows that Sakuya would probably say yes, but hell , overthinking was a bitch, and he would have been on Super Ultra Easy Mode, but this involved Sakuya. Anything that involved Sakuya was not to be taken lightly - not when the stakes are too high, when it's the man that he loves the most.
"Banri?" A familiar voice calls out, and Banri easily looks towards the source of it. He sees the pink mop of hair he sees quite too often (but not enough, he thinks), and the timid wave of hello of his boyfriend's arm. Sakuya walks over to him, guiding them both to the bench under the dorm's sakura tree - a place where they both find comfort and solace in.
Banri smiles as he sits down beside Sakuya, ruffling the shorter man's hair as the shade of the tree shields them from the light of the setting sun. "Hey Saku," he chuckles, as he feels Sakuya scoot closer to him, as if they weren't close enough already.
"Tenma told me I could find you here," Sakuya starts, looking at Banri's face quite closely. Banri can only hope he doesn't see through him, that right now his heart is going into overdrive and his brain is telling him to calm the fuck down he's not going to bite you or something and potentially ruin the proposal he was in the middle of actually planning.
Naturally, like every situation wherein he feels that way, of course Sakuya knows that something was off, with the way Banri notices his eyebrows slightly raised, the question unsaid, but in the air, anyway. Before Banri could even speak, the Spring Troupe leader breaks the silence, his cheerful voice replaced with something that sounds like a mix of curiosity and worry.
"Is something wrong?" Sakuya tests the waters, tilting his head as he stares into purple eyes. Hell, how can Banri hide anything from him? Not when Sakuya knows his power over Banri Settsu? Life is so fucking unfair.
"Just planning something important," He shrugs. He's not completely saying the truth but he wasn't lying either - he can settle with this. Sakuya's mouth forms an 'o' in response before he nods, as if he was a child learning something new. Banri's eyes crinkle as his mouth curve upwards seeing Sakuya's reaction to his simple reply, and absentmindedly wonders how the hell can Sakuya continue to turn him from the resident delinquent to Sakuya's personal sappy boyfriend (soon to be husband, hopefully).
"Well, is it going well?" Sakuya asks. And suddenly Banri's thrown back into his internal panic because holy crap, nothing was going well.
Banri barely gets himself together as he answers, a slight crack on his voice betraying him in the process.
"Everything's okay..."
"Banri," Sakuya presses on, and Banri sighs. Okay, maybe he can just vague him a little, right?
"To be honest, well, it's still pretty hard on my part," Banri admits, looking away from the peering eyes that were observing him. He tries to focus on anything that isn't Sakuya, and he settles on the most boring dried leaf that was on the ground, just right in front of his shoes.
Alright, this can work .
"I'm just racking up my brain for this really big... project I'm planning, and I have no idea if I could make it happen, you know?" He bares himself, and on his peripheral view, he sees Sakuya intently nodding, listening to every word his mouth utters. "I mean, I thought it would be easy," He laughs. "But it's really not. Not when it's a project that I know would really affect my future and it does involve a couple of people so there's that."
He continues to tell his boyfriend his worry (ensuring that he still doesn't let himself slip any clues of having the said project involve Sakuya and wedding rings), and even Banri feels a little awkwardness creeping into his skin. Banri isn't someone that easily shares his own thoughts, much less feelings that are in so deep. But with Sakuya beside him, Banri wonders how the other actor makes him open up like he was some kind of unlocked diary.
Sakuya does nothing but reaches out to hold his hand, and clasp his fingers against Banri's. And Banri finally looks at the love of his life, and then there's the soft light of the setting sun illuminating Sakuya's face, making him seem ethereal. And then Sakuya smiles.
Suddenly there's warmth emanating from Banri's chest, seeing his sunshine smile at him like he believes in him, like he can conquer the world, like he can do and go over anything the world has to give him. Sakuya's smile is just so bright, so comforting, and so so trusting that he finds it in himself to believe in the things that he never thought he could do. It's a smile that he longs to see everyday, a smile that he wants to keep giving his love to make Sakuya happy, and it's a smile that he wants to be the reason for. And all his doubts melt from his mind into nothingness.
He knows that Sakuya will choose him - no matter what. And in turn, he'll make sure that he makes Sakuya feel all the happiness he's given Banri, too.
"Whatever it is, you know that I'm here for you, right? I know whatever happens, you can do it, because you're Banri!" Sakuya reminds him, the curve on his lips never leaving his face and Banri does nothing to fight the urge to pull Sakuya into a hug.
"I know," Banri says, gently putting his head atop Sakuya's. He feels Sakuya relax in his arms, giggling as Sakuya's hands snake around his waist as well, and it's like they're each other's missing puzzle pieces - fitting like they were made for each other.
"I'll keep reminding Banri-kun that no matter what happens there's always someone who's going to believe in him, even if he thinks he can't do it. I do. And I'll stay with him as long as he lets me."
Banri hums, pressing a chaste kiss on his forehead. "Thank you, Sakkun. I will too," Banri whispers, heart lighter from the anxiety he brought upon himself.
"Always," Sakuya whispers back, and Banri's lips curve upward, and he feels content.
"Forever."
Sakuya pulls away, and he stands up as the final rays of the sun hide themselves from the night sky. Sakuya takes Banri's hand in his, prompting the Autumn Troupe leader to stand up as well - and the uncertainty in his heart fades away like it was never there. Banri lets himself be pulled towards the main dorm, his eyes fondly looking at his sunshine talking about how his day went. As they continue to walk, his vacant hand finds itself in his pocket, holding the velvet box he's contained two identical silver bands in - thinking of the future that it can entail.
Sometime soon, Banri will go down on one knee, and slip the ring on Sakuya's left ring finger, and see tears running down on both their cheeks as they continue to whisper 'yes' in each other's embrace.
But for now, he holds on to Sakuya's hand, feels the warmth of his hand in his and lets go of the worries that plagued his mind for a while.
For now, he relishes in Sakuya's smile - the smile that truly believes in him, the smile that lets him conquer the world.
The smile that lets him know that he's always going to be the one that Sakuya chooses.