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The only thing she saw was his eyes, dark and mysterious, reflecting feeling that came somewhere inside him. He was silent, thoughtful, there was a glimpse of sadness in his eyes and Narya thought why. But there was also a bit of mysterious sadness as always, when they were together. It was too rare to see him smile, but when he did Narya felt like she’d won a prize. She could make those wrinkles of worry to disappear. She had the power to make those hands, that cast forceful spells, to touch so gently , Only she knew how it felt to kiss him in the fade. Narya loved it all, whether they were on the fade or the real Skyhold, their private moments were always something special. They were too rarely to happen, with them being on the run and fighting all the time, but now, right now, wasn’t the time for that.
They had sneaked out of Skyhold and she was here with him. She would not prefer to be anywhere else.She felt his hands on her waist, arms hugging her closer, eyes darkening. She felt his breathing tickling her face. “You are so beautiful.” Solas said quietly, voice dark, soft and a bit shaky. Narya sighed and then felt a kiss her forehead, another two on pressed on her eyelids as she closed her eyes and finally lips pressing on hers, leading her to a passionate kiss. Narya felt weak, soft, loved, she was lost in that kiss. “Ma vhenan” Solas whispered and kissed her again almost desperately. When she reached back to him, to hug, to kiss him, he pulled away for Narya’s surprise. His eyes looked more sad than ever, Narya could see his emotions run wild, his hands were shaking, his eyes were gleaming. “Ma vhenan, I’m sorry…this should have happened.I will not bother you again.” he said looking somewhere past her.
Narya took a step forward.”Solas?…”I don’t understand…What is wrong?” "I promised to tell the truth, ma vhenan, to show what you mean to me. But I can’t, I can’t. It will only hurt you more and I have already hurt you enough and I’m sorry…I can’t be with you anymore" he said, words coming out of his mouth one by one, slowly, every word filled with regret and sadness. They fell on her heart, heavy as stones. And suddenly the wind that was warm and gentle just a moment ago changed, it felt colder, almost freezing. It dug into her arms and legs and face, making them cold, still and frozen, leaving her unable to move, to even raise her arms. She looked at Solas, stunned, speechless, emotions, thoughts, running on her mind like wild animals,so restless and fearing.
She could not believe what she heard, it must have been a mistake.”No…Solas..no…” Narya pleaded. "I am sorry" Solas replied tangled in his own emotions."Is something wrong, Solas? We can make it together, you know that? You can trust me." she tried, but Solas shook his head. "No..we can’t..I can’t…I’m sorry…" Narya felt a sudden warm blush raising on her cheeks, she was getting frustrated and angry “Can’t you at least say that it was all for fun? That I never meant anything to you? That you used me, because your own needs, that you mislead me? That you don’t love me?” she almost yelled, grabbing Solas’ shirt and looking at those eyes which seemed to held so many hidden secrets. “Say it Solas” Narya half sobbed with anger burning in her cheeks.
He looked back at her, eyes gleaming dark and sad. “No…I can’t…don’t make this harder than it is..I can’t..because it isn't the truth.” he stuttered out. “Narya sniffed, wiped her eyes angrily with her hand, but she could not stop the ears.”Then why” she sobbed. “I love you, Solas” she tried to hold on to a man that meant so much for her.”You can’t leave me now, I need you.”her voice broke at the end. "Ma vhenan. Please.I can’t.I am sorry." he said pushing her gently away. He stepped back, even if he seemed reluctant to do so. And Narya could not move, she stood there, looking how the one person he loved the most in this crazy world, disappeared into night.
She stood there long after that, looking at the direction he went, until finally after hours tears came, sorrow crushed her heart, hurting it, hurting her all over. She collapsed on the ground, crying, sobbing, yelling her pain to the silent non replying walls.
It was dark already when Cole found her. She was lying on the ground, face all smudged from the tears, hair messed up as she had probably tore it. Cole looked at the fragile figure, slipping his arms under Narya , he lifted her up to his arms. Narya whined a bit, opened her eyes for a second.”Cole…how?” she asked, moved her arm around Cole’s neck. “It’s okay…just rest.” Cole said soothingly. Cole could feel her pain, as he had felt it dwelling inside Solas too, when he had asked him to see if Narya was alright.
How did this happen, why did this happen he wondered when carrying Narya to Skyhold. His friends hurting each other, leaving after nothing but pain, pain that he could not heal.