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"Sango."
She jumped at the sound of her name, nearly dropping the child in her arms; she hadn't realized she'd been daydreaming again.
"I didn't mean to startle you," Miroku apologized, settling on the floor beside her and reaching over to take their son from her. Slyly, he added, "You keep staring at Hiraikotsu, more and more these days."
"It's hard to believe our journey's over," she replied, leaning against him.
He chuckled. "Even now? We've been married almost three years, you know."
"I know," she said, but her eyes were already drawn back to the large bone boomerang, where it hung on the wall of their hut. She was so focused on the weapon that she was almost oblivious to the sounds of her twin daughters playing nearby.
The draw was starting to worry her.
She had gone through so much, during her career as a demon slayer, to win over the demons that formed the weapon. She wondered what they thought of her, now that she had given up her demon slaying to be with the man she loved.
She yearned to pick Hiraikotsu up again, to feel the smooth contours along the palms of her hands, but at the same time she knew that her fate was now that of a wife and mother, not of a demon slayer.
"You're doing it again," Miroku teased, drawing her back to reality yet again.
"What do they think of me, do you think?"
"Who, Sango?"
"The demons within Hiraikotsu. After everything I went through to get them to agree to fight beside me, when I was first given the weapon, and again during the fight against Naraku… I ended up putting my weapon aside in order to be your wife," she said, her voice quiet. Even their daughters noticed her odd mood, and came running over to sit on her lap and cuddle with her. She hugged them tightly, but could find little solace in spite of their presence.
"I never intended for you to give up demon slaying permanently," Miroku's tone was just as solemn.
Sango forced a smile. "I know that. But someone has to look after the children, and our home, and…"
"I'll have you know that our daughters enjoy it when I look after them," he retorted.
"Only because you spoil them terribly." She sighed.
"There's no reason I can't look after them for a few hours a day, so that you may resume your training," he suggested. "Why, I bet we'd even survive for an entire day or two without you!"
"Not with your cooking," she said with a derisive snort. "Besides, someone has to feed the baby, and last I checked, you couldn't do that."
"No, you're right. But once he's weaned, there's no reason that you should have to be cooped up here if you don't want to be, my dear." He leaned closer to whisper conspiratorially, "Besides, I kind of miss my sexy demon slayer…"
The twins were growing restless already; she let them go, and they ran giggling back to their toys. The movement of releasing them left her free to playfully slap her husband. "I'll think about it, okay?" She smiled at his nod. "But I'd feel better with someone to help you. What if I'm gone and you're needed at the village, or even one of the villages nearby?"
"I've spoken with Kagome about that, actually," he admitted, his voice touched by nervousness. It was a bold step, even for him, and she did not necessarily approve.
Sango's glare was withering, a look she had mastered long before her marriage to Miroku. "Without my permission? Kagome should be starting on her own life now that she is married to Inuyasha, not playing babysitter for me…"
"All I said was that I was worried about you," he soothed, rubbing his free hand on her shoulder comfortingly. "She volunteered to babysit on her own. She said she has a lot to learn before she can have her own children, and that practice would be good."
She chuckled softly at that. "That's… just like her, isn't it?"
"It is. And I hope you'll consider her offer." He paused, then added, "I want you to be happy."
"I know," she agreed, feeling suddenly flustered under his scrutiny.
Sensing her distress and realizing that he ought to change the subject, Miroku glanced about for a suitable distraction. "Hmm, it would appear that we have laundry to do," he said, eyeing the baskets of blankets that needed cleaning. "Shall we go to the river, all five of us, and make a trip of it?"
"I'd like that."
"Come on girls," he said, passing the baby to Sango so he could stand and herd their daughters out of the way. "We're going down to the river today."
He helped Sango place their son in his sling on her back, and gathered the baskets before bustling out of the hut, whistling some happy tune. Sango lagged behind, pausing in the doorway to watch her family for a moment; she was reminded of the day, not long ago, when Kagome had returned and changed their lives - again.
Maybe it was time to make one more change.
She cast a sidelong glance toward Hiraikotsu, where it hung against the wall. The sense of disapproval, that she had felt emanating from the weapon lately, seemed to have abated somewhat. At the very least, she no longer yearned to reach out and touch it, to make amends for its long disuse.
"Are you pleased with me?" she asked the empty air. There was, of course, no response. But she felt better having just brought it up with Miroku. Somewhere along the line, she'd gotten caught up with being a wife and mother, and she'd become stuck.
How long has it been, since I really looked forward? She had no answer for that, either, just a resolution. From now on, no matter what happens, I'm going to look toward the future...