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It's the hand on his thigh.
Sometimes, a few inches above his knee, sometimes a little further up, a warm palm resting on the muscular lumps. The only muscular part of his body (he is so painfully bony otherwise); the hand resting on it like it belongs there.
It's a pretty hand. Slightly smaller than his (he recently measured them, pressing their palms together), with pretty pink nails and a vein that pops out vaguely, almost all the time.
The hand that belongs to Kang Taehyun.
Sometimes the fingers press gently into flesh, is it deliberate or do they move unconsciously? Sometimes the hand strokes his thigh gently; that has to be deliberate, right ? And sometimes it just rests there. And goes on resting there.
Too many times to count (Not that he's counting). Sometimes, when they're eating and Taehyun will slip to side, sit shoulder to shoulder and place his palm right there. Maybe Beomgyu should try to determine one day if he is choosing the side strategically so that Taehyun's right hand can rest on his thigh, and he can eat with his left. Inconspicuously of course. Or Taehyun is going to notice him trying to notice.
Sometimes it's when Taehyun crawls into his bed (or forces him to come to his), to make him listen to a song he liked and they end up listening for hours, or a video of a wild animal on national geographic which he has no interest in watching, but he does for him. Taehyun is so adorable then, and his eyes sparkle excitedly, so there is no way he can say no. Sometimes, he'll not watch the video and concentrate on the hand on his thigh, just sometimes.
Sometimes, its just all the time. When they're sitting together in the waiting rooms, in the car, while shooting something, while resting on the floor after practice. He doesn't even realise it, but when he notices, it's already there.
Not that he hates it. Far from it, actually. He likes it. And maybe that's why, he's made it his mission now to know. The only threat being- What if Taehyun stops?
"You should really try to stop thinking so hard with that pea sized brain of yours." It's Soobin's voice floating from his doorway.
Probably, it's his pained expression, that Soobin's sniggers die and his voice becomes gentler, "Hey, are you okay?"
No. Maybe.
"Where's Taehyun?" he questions the otherwise unassuming Soobin, climbing out of his bed and squeezing in through his doorway, most of which is crowded by Soobin's body.
"In his room. Him and Kai are wrestling. Or rather, he is wrestling Kai and Kai is pleading for his life.""You mean, the usual." he sniggers and Soobin giggles back. As he makes his way to the maknae's room, Soobin calls out to him,
"You're entering right into the Kang Taehyun death trap."
Of course, he knows. Being in Taehyun's vicinity means being prey to his trials of new wrestling techniques. He's the smallest one of all with the mightiest agendas.
But what is it to be scared of? Isn't he so gentle whenever he's up to his antics?
Or...is he only gentle with Beomgyu?
True to Soobin's word, Taehyun and Kai are sprawled out on Taehyun's bed with Taehyun's one under Kai's underarm, the other arm forcing itself on the first to tighten the grip; his leg is wound around Kai's torso; there's really no escape.
It's not a pretty sight. Kai is screaming and wincing and laughing all at the same time. And Taehyun is flashing his teeth in a victorious grin. Dimple pressing into his cheek, gleaming eyes and tiny shark teeth clenched in delight. How do you even get mad at someone when they manage to look this adorable.
And how do they manage to look this adorable all the time?
Plus, when he's in this position with Taehyun, he for sure doesn't feel that its this painful. Hm...maybe Taehyun is gentle only with him.
That brings him back to the question of the hand-on-the-thigh situation.
"Taehyun-ah, I need to speak to you" he calls the younger out. Looks like he's doing it, finally. But what is he supposed to say?
He'll figure it out. Maybe.
"Yes, go on." Taehyun says but isn't paying attention to him at all. All he can focus on is his battle at hand. He wants to for once and for all establish his muscular supremacy. Like he hasn't already.
But what about the battle in Beomgyu's head?
"In private."
He shouldn't have said that. Because, Soobin is suddenly interested, Yeonjun ( he's always in his room but his ear is glued to the happenings in the house) pokes his head out of his room and Kai's pain has suddenly absconded. He looks curiously at Beomgyu.
Right. There's no privacy in this house.
Beomgyu is already reeling back, "Forget it. It's not that important."
**************
Taehyun bounces on his bed, "Hyung... Beomgyu hyung! I want you to listen to this song."
He's penning out some thoughts that have been in his head since a while. Someday they can become lyrics, if he's able to articulate them well enough.
They sit on the bed, leaning against the wall, shoulders glued together. It's automatic how their heads incline towards each other; he's never noticed it before. He closes his eyes to take in the feeling of the song. Never seen the rain. It's beautiful.Taehyun's taste in music is vast. His taste in everything is vast. He's unafraid to try new things. To put himself out there.
A warm sensation finds itself on his thigh. Taehyun's palm rests there gently, is it conscious or a force of habit? ; Beomgyu's eyes are still closed but he cannot concentrate on anything else anymore.
What if he places his own hand on top of his? Would that be too obvious? Should he move his leg away ....but he doesn't want to let go of the warmth. Should he finally bring this topic up?
"Hyung? Did you phase out?" Taehyun's voice tears into his line of thought.
"What? No...of course not... it's a really nice song...Never seen the rain...I really like it-"
"That ended a while ago. I put on a different song already."
Oh.
"I...uh .." he starts, unable to look into Taehyun's eyes, cheeks turning fiery hot. He's so glad for his hair, they hide his ears which for sure must have become crimson by now.
"Hyung ...are you thinking something again? Do you want to talk about it? You know I'm here, right?" the gentle palm squeezes his thigh a little. Taehyun continues in a softer voice, "You're not dwelling into your negative thoughts again, are you?"
"No, I'm fine, really. I just… starting thinking about what I was writing before, that's all." he consoles the younger. The concern in his big sparkly eyes is so evident. It always warms up Beomgyu's heart.
He places his hand on top on Taehyun, offering him a hesitant smile.
"Okay" Taehyun's lips stretch out in a broad grin. He doesn't react to Beomgyu's hand on his. So, Beomgyu keeps it there for the entire time he's there.
**********
"What are you doing at this hour ?" Beomgyu is startled by the voice. In the dark, he sees a familiar silhouette.
Taehyun reaches out in the freezer and takes out a plastic cup, "Shit, it froze."
"Of course, it'll freeze, you idiot. Why would you put your slushie in the freezer and leave it."
It's always in hindsight that he realises that he should not have called Taehyun an idiot. The frozen slushie lands with a thump! on the kitchen counter from Taehyun's hand and Taehyun heads straight towards him.
He's already apologising before Taehyun has even reached him, "Sorry, sorry, I shouldn't have said that, please-" he cocoons in himself trying to protect whatever is incoming.
Is it going to pick him up and throw him (with a soft landing) onto the couch? Is he going to put him into a (mock) chokehold? Is he going to twist his arm(gently) behind his back?
Beomgyu braces himself for whatever is coming. But all Taehyun does his envelope him and tickles his sides.
Tickles him till he's in a fit of giggles; tickles him till he is lying horizontal onto the couch and wrapping his arms around himself because the stimulation is too much; tickles him till Taehyun himself plops down beside his head on the sofa to reach better; and continues till Beomgyu has caged his arms with his own to prevent them from moving anymore.
Taehyun retracts his arms from the hold. Beomgyu gingerly turns to sneak a look at him with a mischievous grin. Then wiggles his body forward to plant his head face down on Taehyun's lap. He expects to be told off. But Taehyun seems to just sit there for a few seconds before he says softly,
"I want to get juice."
So, he has to move his head.
He watches the younger as he moves around in the kitchen. Grabbing a glass. He's grown up a lot. Opening the fridge again. He's built really well. Pouring himself a glass. He works so hard. Walking towards him. He takes care of me so much.
Just when did this happen?
He gets up and sits so that Taehyun can join him on his side. He's freezes for a moment when Taehyun loops his arm around his bicep and lays his head on his shoulder. A smile blooms on his face. However much he's grown, old habits die hard. Or maybe a part of him will always remain adorable. Cute is Kang Taehyun, not the other way around.
The glass in his hand from which he sips occasionally, is suddenly put onto the centre table. And the free hand comes to rest on Beomgyu's thigh.
This time, without thinking too much, he places his own hand on Taehyun's thigh, and leans his head over the younger's hair. A second passes and Taehyun is still quiet. Beomgyu cannot help it so he speaks up,
"This is okay, isn't it?"
Taehyun looks at him, with large eyes reflecting the pool of streetlight that falls into their home. He smiles, crow's feet around his eyes and all. Then he goes back to resting his head again, without saying anything.
Guess it is alright then.
**********
So this is alright then.
When Taehyun compulsively scratches his neck while they're watching a movie, Beomgyu takes the hand and places it on his thigh. Because, once it's there, it doesn't move.
Now, whenever they're eating and Taehyun's hand crawls up his thigh, he puts his hand on Taehyun's thigh. It has grown muscular over the years; it used to be skinny once.
Whenever, they're exhausted and Taehyun plops down beside him on the floor of their dance studio, his hand reaches onto Beomgyu's thigh like a religion. Beomgyu will acknowledge it and play with his fingers.
Because it's alright, isn't it?
**********
Soobin, HueningKai and Yeonjun leave first with plans in mind. Lessons are over early today; an anomaly.
But Beomgyu stays back. There are a few moves he has to perfect, no way around them. He's glad whenever Yeonjun stays back to help him, but he can't be too selfish. Especially, when everyone works hard and is in need of a break.
'You're not going too?" he asks Taehyun who enters the studio just then, back from the bathroom. He shakes his head, watching Beomgyu's reflection in the mirror. He sits against the wall, still observing him.
"Let's get your moves right. I'll help."
"You keep taking care of me Taehyun, I'm the older one here." he chuckles with no bite in words. If anything, he's really thankful.
"I take care of you because I care for you." Taehyun looks down onto his lap, suddenly avoiding eye contact. "I'm with you for an hour and then I go to the gym as well. So, let's get on it." He continues.
Beomgyu wonders how he does it all.
**********
He groans climbing into the car; groans when sits down; groans when his body is jolted slightly as Taehyun sits in the car from the other side. His body hurts incorrigibly. Two hours of extra practice was probably an hour too much. He should have left the studio and waited for Taehyun in the gym until he finished. He groans again.
"Why'd you spend a whole another hour if you couldn't take? Taehyun chides him gently.
"I thought while I waited for you, I'd rather practice."
"I thought while you practiced, I'd get some work out done." Taehyun's voice rises in shock.
They look at each other and end up laughing. "You should rest. I'll wake you up when we reach." He brings his hand to Beomgyu's thigh and pats it in a compelling rhythm. The rest of the ride, Beomgyu concentrates on the hand instead.
He falls on the floor on the living room on arrival inside their shared dorm.
"So, dramatic." Taehyun chuckles, "I'm going to shower and come. Are you going to lay there the entire night?"
He's still there when Taehyun returns in a fresh set of boxers, a plain oversized t shirt and wet hair sticking everywhere. He rolls his eyes, shakes his head and tries to get Beomgyu up.
"My whole body hurts" he whines.
"Stop being a baby." He pulls Beomgyu onto his feet and he follows Taehyun into his and HueningKai's shared room. The house is unusually quiet with more than half of its inhabitants elsewhere.
"I'm ordering snacks, do you want something?"
He ponders over the question, "Maybe bingsu? I'll eat whatever you'll order, though."
"Of course you will" Taehyun rolls his eyes, busying himself on the phone. Beomgyu looks at him; his profile, rather. Eyebrows furrowed, lips jutted out in mild concentration, freshly washed hair resembling a bird's nest.
And then his hand. That inconspicuously (or conspicuously) slides up his thigh. He feels Taehyun move closer to him; He looks at Beomgyu and brings a hand to swipe his hair off his eyes; a familiar habit; showcasing his pretty forehead, only for it to fall into them again.
Then he smiles knowingly at Beomgyu.
What does he know?
Taehyun tilts his head and regards him curiously, "Is there something on my face?"
"What? No!" he mumbles a little too quickly.
Taehyun's fingers press into his flesh a little as he observes Beomgyu with a lopsided grin.
Beomgyu has to take charge of the situation. He brings a deliberate hand to place on top of Taehyun's thigh and challenges him. Taehyun keeps looking at him, but he doesn't miss how his eyes dart quickly to Beomgyu's lips and then back to his eyes.
He has to say it or he's going to burst,
"You hand is always on my thigh."
If Taehyun is surprised, it only lasts for a fraction of a second. He challenges Beomgyu, his smile still intact,
"And, what about it?"
Okay, it's time for the moment of truth.
"Why is it only on my thigh?"
Beomgyu blurts. Too soon. Too bold. He widens his eyes, shocked at the words that came out of his mouth and slaps his free hand over it. He tries to retrieve his other hand and run away as far as possible (maybe lock himself in his room and curse at himself all night.)
Or maybe he should laugh it off right now and say it's a joke? He can't do either because Taehyun has trapped his hand and, he continues to move onto Beomgyu, bringing his other hand over Beomgyu's body, onto the space on the ned beside him, so that he's effectively trapped.
Guess they're doing this.
"Hmm....is it though, Hyung? We live together and work together, my hand is not only on your thigh. Or do shoulders and arms don't count." he knows Taehyun is teasing him.He knows that he wants the words to come from Beomgyu's mouth. To say what he really wants.
"I..uh-...more. I want more." he fumbles.
Taehyun is really close and he smells like soap and strawberries. Beomgyu gulps. His heart is palpitating relentlessly in his chest and his ears burn hot. Taehyun's lips hover so close to his ; if he could just lean forward and....
Taehyun moves his mouth to Beomgyu's ear, his breath ticking him, "You have to tell me how much, Hyung."
"All over me," he chokes out, "I want your hands all over me." Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Deeps breaths.
Taehyun's grin becomes wider. He moves away and Beomgyu is almost taken aback by the sudden lack of warmth; but in the next second itself, Taehyun is grabbing him by his thighs and placing him on his lap.
He is straddling Taehyun. Taehyun has his hands on his sides. Taehyun is watching him with such an intent gaze that he cannot look into his eyes.
"Beomgyu Hyung. Beomgyu, look at me." his voice has dropped a tenor. His hands move slowly from Beomgyu's hips, down to the sides of his thighs and Beomgyu meets his eyes. There's a lot in them. They've always been so shining, full of mischief, full of passion, full of adoration. Right now, there's more. They blaze with a want; a fire that he's never noticed before.
But Beomgyu's sure his own eyes would be reflecting the same. He does want Taehyun's hands all over him, after all.
He rests his hand on Taehyun's chest as Taehyun strokes his thighs, slowly caressing the sides, right from above the knees just shy from touching further up where his ass begins.
"Is this okay?" he questions as they continue to stare at each other. Beomgyu nods.
Taehyun hands then move to his waist, agonizingly slow, under his T-shirt but not quite., enough for him to feel the warm thumb draw circles on his skin. "And this?" Taehyun questions again.
"More than okay." Beomgyu squeaks, surprised that he can even speak at this point. Taehyun's left hand snakes around his waist, dragging him closer, almost chest to chest, noses waiting to brush against each other. Beomgyu has to remember how to breathe.
The right hand traces a gentle path right from his waist to his stomach, to his chest; snaking upwards to rest his palm on juncture of his shoulder and neck, right below his ear.
"You can touch me too, you know." Taehyun whispers to him.
He feels like a school boy left alone in an ice cream factory. It's hard to know where to start, when he's in front of paradise's door. He drags his palms from Taehyun's chest to wrap them around his torso, leaning in to bury his face into Taehyun's neck. His hands roam all over his toned back, his nose brushes Taehyun's sharp jaw and he leaves a kiss there.
When he leans back up to look at Taehyun, he finds a warm smile waiting for him, a smile that breaks into a full-blown toothy grin. He's all smiles himself.
"Is this good?" Taehyun takes his hands in his own, resting them on top of his chest, content. Beomgyu nods, still grinning.
Actually.....
"There's something more I've been meaning to touch." Beomgyu doesn't know where his bravado is coming from. Maybe that's what feelings make fools do?
Before Taehyun can question what he means, he has pressed his lips onto Taehyun's. He welcomes them readily.
Beomgyu sucks lightly on his bottom lip, teasing it, before properly slotting their lips together, hands finding their way to gently cup Taehyun's face. His lips are so soft, like marshmallow and his lip balm tastes of cotton candy. There's a subtle realisation that he has to angle his head for better access as their bigger than normal noses (as it's been often pointed out) otherwise squash together. It makes him smile into the kiss.
It's blissful like this; Taehyun's hands are back on his waist, pressing him even closer as they continue to move their lips together in an ecstatic pace.
When they part for a few moments to breathe, Taehyun's wide pink lips, swollen and moist from all that kissing, makes him dive in again.
The doorbell rings loud, finally putting an end to the kiss. And the moment.
"Must be the food. I'll go check. " Taehyun says, half-dazed. He presses a final kiss onto Beomgyu's lips, removes him gently from his lap and gives him a bright smile before hopping over to the main door.
"So...." Beomgyu starts, as they sit down to eat. It's a lot for two people, they'll share with HueningKai and the Hyungs later, "that happened." he chuckles nervously.
"I want to keep doing it. I don't want to stop." Taehyun tells him decidedly, forcing all the containers open and grabbing his chopsticks.
"Me too. I want this too." he replies truthfully. He gratefully accepts accepts the chopsticks Taehyun offers him and they eat in a comfortable silence.
Hands on each other's thighs.
"When are we telling the others?"
"In a while."
In the meantime...............
.
.
Fin ~