Chapter Text
Julie was playing the Orpheum.
Before Ray could wrap his head around seeing her play with Trevor Wilson’s old, dead, band at the café, next thing he knew Julie was running into the house screaming about how the Orpheum wanted to book her band. That night. And just like that, he was driving her and a backpack full of makeup and Rose’s old clothes to the Orpheum. He felt like he was living in a weird dream as he made sure Julie was settled into her dressing room and he was handed a VIP pass for his daughter’s show and was guided through the audience.
Being at the Orpheum was like visiting a grave, and not just because Bobby Wilson lost his three friends in the alley across the street. Rose left her job after that night in 1995, but she had loved working here. It was strange being somewhere where she had spent so much time. He could so clearly remember dropping her off many a night, in the times where they shared a car and he’d let her out on the way to whatever project he was working on. How many late-night chats had they had in this very room as he helped her with closing?
Shaking himself out of it, he reminded himself that he was here for Julie.
This whole crowd was here for his daughter.
It was just a little bit surreal.
(okay, so maybe this whole crowd was here for Panic! at the Disco, but everyone around him was buzzing about the opening hologram band act)
Ray was full of anticipation and nerves, both on behalf of his daughter and to see the ghosts again. He played dumb with Carlos, acting like he had no idea what was going on even though obviously, he was a professional photographer and was slightly insulted his kids fully believed he didn’t know how holograms worked. He wasn’t that bad at technology.
That’s when Ray saw him.
Trevor Wilson waltzed in with his daughter like he owned the place, shaking hands with his entourage and taking VIP seats closer than even he had. Their eyes found each other from across the Orpheum, drawn to each other only for a split second, but it was enough to stop Ray’s heart. He hadn’t seen Trevor since the funeral. Hadn’t even talked to him. He couldn’t even say why, especially since he had been living with the knowledge that the ghosts of Trevor’s old band were haunting his house.
Everything had happened so fast.
But Trevor definitely knew, why else would he be here?
The look between them only lasted a moment, but Ray had never felt so called out. Trevor had always been good at acting with his eyes, he could relay more in one look than he could stammering over his words for five minutes.
He was hurt.
He knew Ray knew the guys were back, and he was hurt that he hadn’t said anything.
And that only scratched the surface of the hurt shared between them.
Trevor turned away from him as he sat down with Carrie, and there was a distant yearning to be with him- knowing how difficult this would to be for him- but it wasn’t his place. His place was with his family, it was with Julie, who was finally coming onto the stage. She looked timid and scared, completely unprepared for playing a crowd like the Orpheum and for a moment, Ray wondered if this was too much for her.
Then Julie started speaking, dedicating the show to her mom and the guys, and he couldn’t have been prouder of her. She started playing and she owned the stage. Ray recognized the song as one Rose hadn’t finished and his eyes lit up when he realized Julie must have finished it for her. One by one the guys appeared, looking exactly the same as when Ray saw them at the café, exactly the same as they did in the article he was once saw, save for now they were in suits. Julie couldn’t have looked more relieved to see them and them her, and he couldn’t help but to completely give into the adrenaline rush of the moment. He could practically feel Rose beside him, jumping and clapping along with him, Carlos and her sister. The band was having the time of their lives, playing the show they never got to play, and as he watched them bouncing around the stage with his daughter, all owning their set like pros, he felt a surge of pride for them too.
None of this was made any sense, yet seeing Julie on stage with the phantoms felt like the rightest thing in the world.
The crowd went wild as the band took their boys and the guys disappeared. For a moment, Ray forgot all about Trevor, all about the fact that the band wasn’t even alive. He couldn’t get over how proud Julie looked, being up there on stage, how much like Rose she looked, drinking in the moment. Beside him Victoria was wiping at her eyes and even Carlos was all smiles, proclaiming to anyone who would listen “that’s my sister!”.
Almost as soon Julie ran off stage, he received a text from her:
Can you give us some time before coming backstage?
He chuckled, thinking that she must want some time with the ghosts before the family went back (he had no idea it was because she was crying her heart out to Flynn, mourning the boys after thinking they crossed over).
Ray glanced around, looking for Trevor’s reaction but the rockstar and his daughter were already gone.
“I’m getting some air,” Ray announced to Victoria, who nodded, her eyes still wide and overwhelmed from seeing Julie with her band for the first time.
Trevor might have escaped without the crowd’s attention, but Ray knew exactly where he would have headed. Stepping into the cool night air, he tugged his jacket closer around him as he crossed the street in front of the Orpheum. Ray took a deep breath and made sure no one was watching as he stepped into the alley.
He found Trevor immediately.
Sitting with his knees drawn to his chest, he could see that Trevor was visibly shaking, his eyes glassy and distant. Breathing unevenly, he hugged his knees as he stared ahead, clearly not with Ray in the present.
“Bobby.”
Trevor jumped, letting out a shaky breath when he saw Ray had found him. When he didn’t say anything, Ray approached him carefully and took a seat beside him on the pavement. As prepared as he thought he was to do this, the words were caught in his throat now, his chest felt too tight to breathe let alone speak. Rose had brought him here once before, on the first anniversary of the boys’ death. At the time, Bobby was still avoiding Sunset Boulevard like the plague but Rose thought someone should go to honor them. They didn’t expect to show up to find a small gathering of Sunset Curve fans, mostly young people who had been at the Orpheum that night who still shaken by how three kids so young could possibly be taken so fast.
Daring to glance behind him, Ray’s eyes found the three crosses Rose had nailed into the base of the brick wall twenty-four years ago.
“Julie was great,” Trevor finally breathed, his voice harsh and tight. He let out a cold laugh as Ray’s head whipped back around, though his eyes stayed glued to the pavement. “Her band was really…they were really something.”
It was like he had a line prepared, but he trailed off, running his hands through his hair, coated in sweat.
“I should have told you,” Ray offered quietly. “I wanted to, everything just happened so fast.”
It was a terrible lie, and Trevor let out a huff of disproval. He could practically hear a nineteen year old Bobby mumbling I’m not that stupid. The truth was, Ray had been afraid to tell him. They hadn’t talked in over a year, how was he supposed to show up at his doorstep, talking about ghosts? And he had been hoping that if he gave it time, Julie would come to him with the truth and then he could talk to Trevor...then everything really did happen so fast. Now none of his decisions from the past few weeks made any sense.
“I guess I can't say anything,” Trevor muttered. “I saw the video of Julie playing with them."
Neither of them were brave enough to talk to each other then, even after all these years.
"I should have known," Trevor went on, letting out a heavy sigh, "I should have known that one day, they’d be allowed to come after me.”
Tearing his eyes away from the pavement, Ray studied Trevor in the darkness, realizing that it wasn’t just that he was in shock, he was scared.
“You think they’re here to hurt you?”
Trevor let out another icy laugh, and it sent shivers up his spine.
“I know they are,” Trevor shot, “they’ve already haunted me once.
Ray blinked. He wondered if Julie knew about that; he wondered exactly how much Julie knew. Silence fell between them again and Ray’s eyes stayed glued to the ground. When had it become so hard for them to speak? It felt like there was a world between them, though their shoulders brushed together and he could practically feel Trevor shivering, they were so close. If he closed his eyes, he could be right back in his and Rose’s first apartment, sitting up with Bobby as he shook and shivered, drenched in sweat after waking up from nightmares. These memories that he had suppressed for so long, after having the kids, they were beginning to feel like looking back on someone else’s life.
And how was that fair, to any of them?
All at once, Trevor stood up, pushing his sunglasses back down in front of his eyes though it was the middle of the night. It wasn’t just Ray that he didn’t let in anymore, he was trying his best to hide from the entire world. Ray quickly stood up before he could get away, reaching out for his arm without thinking.
“You should be with your daughter, Ray,” Trevor announced, his voice chilling. Unforgiving. “It’s a big night for your family.”
“You shouldn’t be alone right now.”
Trevor gazed at him through his sunglasses, his eyes empty and helpless, having no idea what to ask of him or anyone right now.
“I should be with my daughter too.”
He jerked away, and Ray closed his eyes tight as he flashed back to the day Bobby kissed him for the first time as Trevor attempted to flee from him. The thing was, even with Rose gone, even after years apart from his ex and even after a year of carefully avoiding him, Ray still felt attached to him. Their souls were still tethered to each other, however badly that rope had tried to unravel.
“I’m coming over tomorrow,” Ray declared. Trevor stopped but didn’t turn toward him. “This is my daughter we’re talking about, Trevor. For some reason she’s working with these phantoms, and if they really are back because of you…we need to talk, then I can talk to Julie.”
The rockstar didn’t answer, but Ray could still see his chest heaving, could hear his uneven breaths. His hands were clenched into fists by his side, like they did when he was younger and for a split second, he was that lost kid again, clinging to the only people in Hollywood who would take him in. Now they couldn’t even be so much as a few feet apart.
They shared too much pain, too much loss.
Trevor hesitated, and Ray knew he felt the same, however in denial or scared he was.
“I’ll come to yours,” Trevor replied at last.
A wave of nerves washed over him at the very thought of Trevor being in his home, remembering what happened last time. He had no idea how to navigate this without Rose. But, he supposed he should be relieved Trevor was willing to talk at all. Instead of waiting for an answer, Trevor simply started to walk away.
“You should call your sponsor,” Ray blurted out, before he disappeared around the corner. “Or I can.”
Trevor paused again, not turning around as he called back quietly:
“I will.”
His voice was so small, an echo of his younger self and it was like watching Bobby’s ghost disappear as Trevor’s footsteps echoed against the pavement.
Ray Molina was the only person left in the world who knew the real Trevor Wilson, just as Trevor was the only person left in the world who could truly understand his own past. Selfishly, he wanted that again. The harder he tried to find a way to live without Rose, the more he desperately didn’t want to. Truth was, he knew deep down there was still a little bit of Rose out there, laying within the man they had both shared, had both loved. If Ray was suffocating under the pain of losing Rose, under the stress of having to hide how badly he was struggling in the name of getting his kids through this, he couldn’t imagine how close Trevor was to drowning. Bobby was gone, buried deep beneath the walls Trevor had so carefully built around himself, but Ray knew the man he and Rose once loved was still calling out for help.
(they both needed each other more than they could ever know)