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Where can he begin telling this little pathetic story of his, he wondered. The answer is and always will be never. Miya Atsumu.16. Dead to the world with his story untold. Sure he had many friends and he didn’t look too bad himself but he was always compared to his brother. Miya Osamu. Sure Atsumu is the older twin, but there are days where he wished he was Osamu. Perfect grades, perfect friends and a life that Atsumu can only dream of. The comments from his friends as a joke was always a hard pill to swallow for him. “Hey did you get fatter.” or things like, “Has Atsumu finally reached his peak and he can’t play anymore? I guess Osamu is still the better twin after all.” Sure he could block out those comments but as time passed, he soon grew to be more insecure and self-conscious about himself. The extra practice, the skipping of meals. Many people would have wished that they can turn back time and treat him nicely if they knew how much they were suffering. Atsumu has tricked all of them. He smiled, laughed at the mean jokes that were said to his face and dedicated his whole life to volleyball. As much as he wanted to scream and shout his lungs out, crying at the same time, he smiled. He could only say sorry to the people who he disappointed. The second choice was the correct word to describe Atsumu. When girls have been rejected by Osamu, they went after Atsumu. Atsumu knew. He knew how people talked behind his back. Loud and annoying. Better off without him.
Atsumu sighed. He was lying on his rooftop with rain splattering on his face and the tiles beside him. He was way too numb to cry. He looked up to the sky before sitting up again. His feet were aching, his arms were numb from all the cuts that he placed on himself. He shivered. The cold weather was starting to hit him. He mentally cursed himself as he crawled back into his shared room. Making sure he was quiet as possible to not disturb Osamu. He walked into their toilet and saw his reflection in his mirror. Dark eye bags, red eyes and a tired face. The lively Atsumu has disappeared and Atsumu tried to bring himself back to look normals in front of his friends. He changed out of his clothes and did his usual morning routine, making sure that his dark eye circles is covered with a strong and waterproof concealer and tried to add some colour like a blusher to his face to hide his pale complexion and added a neutral lip colour as well.
The lively Atsumu was back again. He left home early to avoid his parents asking him to eat and walked straight to the volleyball court to practice. He must be perfect. That’s what he thinks about every time he serves one ball. He will continue until he’s completely exhausted and will head to the school cafeteria to buy his coffee. Just like that, he didn’t sleep for days and hasn’t eaten for days. His frame got progressively smaller and his cheeks became more sunken. He tried to avoid Osamu during lunch and Osamu didn’t notice as usual since Osamu thinks that Atsumu probably ate due to his big appetite in the past. Atsumu will always go to the school’s rooftop to stare at the sky. But of course, this unhealthy habit will slowly tear Atsumu down. It was the last straw when Atsumu fainted during his morning session of volleyball practice. Nobody noticed since Atsumu has never told anyone about this. He was left there for hours until his classes started. The teachers could not find Atsumu and Osamu didn’t know where he went. The teachers called for his name through the P.A system but there was no reply. Osamu went to the first place he knew which was the volleyball court area and he saw Atsumu unresponsive on the floor with all the stray volleyballs on the floor. They called for an ambulance while Osamu tried to wake his brother up. Everything is a blur.
Let’s just say, Atsumu never woke since…