Work Text:
They said opposites attract.
Well, whoever said that hasn't been in the studio where Junkyu and Asahi sit together. It's been two days since they first shook hands and agreed to do a collaboration song for their fans, but so far, their conversation, more or less, goes like this:
"So this is what I'm thinking we should do, Sahi-ya. You're obviously a genius in making ballads. I've been listening to all your songs on YouTube, awesome stuff, by the way, so maybe our collaboration song can be something like that too, like very sad, emotional, heartbroken—the kind of heartbroken when Julia Roberts felt when she knew Dermot Mulroney was going to marry Cameron Diaz in My Best Friend's Wedding? You know?"
"Hm."
"Or—or the kind of shocking, tear-jerker stuff like when Leonardo DiCaprio sacrificed himself to save Kate Winslet in Titanic—gosh! I still cry whenever I watch it! Hahaha—"
"Hm."
Starting to feel uncertain, Junkyu clears his throat. "Uh, but you get what I'm saying, right, Sahi-ya? I mean, this collaboration project is for the fans. They're the ones who demanded it, and since you're good at ballads and my voice fits, I think it's easier and quicker to finish if we choose the genre. I can help with the lyrics, too, since I watched too many rom-coms. Hahaha…"
But Asahi still maintains the aloofness of a fish behind the awful sunglasses he put on. Is he even listening or worse, breathing, who knows, but the uncertainty manages to reduce Junkyu's confidence to 001 out of 100 as he starts to shift nervously on his seat. "Uh, and—and I'm sure you're busy, too. I mean, I know I do! I have like, nine hours streaming schedule every day and you have—have other songs to finish, right? So, the faster we finish this, the better! Isn't that right, cowboy?"
Junkyu's voice cracks horribly at the end and Asahi just—
"Hm."
Slumping forward to his knees, Junkyu heaves a long, deep sigh.
Oh, boy, the things he does for his fans.
-
It's been approximately a year since Junkyu started this streamer gig on Twitch; doing LIVE performances of covering popular songs for viewers, or what streamers usually call them, Chat, which is the people that watch and fills the chatroom with comments, requests, and sometimes, donations. At first, he did it as a mere pastime, in-between finishing his final project in the last semester of college. But people online soon took notice of the handsome man with baby cheeks, a big grin, and a sonorous voice that adds to his cheerful persona, singing on a keyboard. Junkyu's chat room started to get crowded and it wasn't long before he got his first big donation with a message that read:
Your voice is wonderful. Keep singing <3
It was the perfect encouragement that Junkyu needed to make the gig full-time.
Since then, his fan base grew each day and by the time he graduated, he already earned enough money to get the proper equipment for professional streaming and rented a bigger, soundproof studio apartment. Obviously, that was all thanks to his fans so like the kind, happy-go-lucky streamer he's known for, Junkyu obliges all their requests.
"Ah, username romytheflower, thanks for the fifteen thousand won donation! Your message is 'Hi Junkyu-ah, thanks for taking my request! Versace on the Floor always reminds me of my boyfriend. Actually, we just broke up last week and I miss him so much.' Oh no, I hope you guys get back together! Really! I'm sending lots of positive energy to you! But thank you for listening and being here!"
The ring light placed behind Junkyu's desktop screen shines brightly until it reflects a dot of white on his supple, round cheeks as he smiles and waves at the camera above the vertical screen that displays his chatroom.
Another notification pops in. Ah, it's from one of his regular viewers. Junkyu's smile is shaped like half a donut. "And also username robocop, thanks for the fifty thousand won donation! Wow, that's a lot! And as usual, you never put a message. But thank you, thank you! Thanks for listening!"
Then, multiple notifications appear continuously and Junkyu has to scroll and pauses to address each one in front of his mic.
"—Oh, I almost missed this. Username princedobby, thanks for the twenty thousand won donation! Your message is 'Hello Junkyu-ah, your voice is lovely as ever. Wanna ask about your collab song with Youtuber Hamada Asahi. When will it be finished? I'm so excited!'…"
Pressing his lips tight, Junkyu tries to maintain the smile on his face even when there's doubt swelling in his mind. He prays his voice doesn't stutter as he replies carefully, "Ah, thank you so much for the excitement. But I think it'll be done next month? Since, you know, we're both busy and everything. And this is the first time I've done a collab with a Youtuber, and don't get me wrong! I'm so, so excited, since you guys want it but I'm kinda new to songwriting since I only cover songs up until now and I just met the guy last week, so…"
No notifications. Junkyu's eyes run across the vertical screen and find his chatroom frozen. No new comments, requests, or even stickers of his face that he provided for the fans who subscribe. The chat lays silent and Junkyu is scared of the eeriness that follows.
It's like he's done something wrong and everyone's left.
"O—okay, time for a new song! Are you guys still listening?"
A ticking clock reverberates the walls of Junkyu's apartment. Three seconds but it feels like a lifetime until a comment pings in, suggesting a song. Then, another, and another.
Junkyu sighs in relief. The smile across his face is ever-present even if it's a bit forced.
Just a bit. No biggie.
-
Junkyu's first impression of the Youtuber, Hamada Asahi, who was known for his original songs and cool-boy persona online upon meeting him was the man is an absolute nutcase.
How could he not? When Junkyu stepped into Asahi's music studio, built in the basement of his two-story house, he thought he's entering a vampire lair. First, no one greeted him by the door. Second, the hallway leading to the basement was unnecessarily dark and creepy, he almost stumbled on his own feet when descending the stairs. Thankfully, his hand that groped around the wall for support found a light switch and when he flicked it open, there was the platinum blonde man, sitting on a revolving chair in front of his PC, cross-legged, while wearing Elvis Presley's sideburns and sunglasses.
Why? was the first thing that crossed Junkyu's mind along with a grimace forming on his face. But the blonde man seemed unfazed by his guest's reaction before pulling a chair for Junkyu to sit as if it wasn't totally weird sporting sunglasses while being indoors and perched in the dark before meeting his new collab’s partner for the first time. Yup, not weird at all.
And well, you know how the rest of the conversation went. It's like talking to a wall, really, if a wall can compose ballad songs and has 2 million subscribers on Youtube.
Fast forward, today is the second meet-up. Learning his lesson, Junkyu is ready with his phone flashlight as he trails along the darkened corridor and stairs one step at a time before he arrives at the basement floor and turns on the main light.
But what do you know—the Youtuber is busy watching some anime on his PC, and still with those damn sunglasses. Honestly, what does he want to hide? The Youtuber Asahi isn't shy in showing his face in his videos. He's good-looking, alright. Model-typed face, Junkyu would describe it; diamond-shaped face, sharp jawline, pointed nose, thin cheeks, unlike Junkyu's that can be mistaken as dumplings. So the latter wonders if the funny get-up Asahi has on his face is supposed to be an inside joke he doesn't get. Or maybe the blonde is a closet cosplayer. Now, that's news.
But enough thinking, back to the present. One hand inside a chip bag, Asahi tilts his head around to meet a dumbstruck Junkyu. Thankfully, his jaw is still connected to speak—not dropped to the floor out of sheer bafflement.
"You're watching an anime."
"Hm," comes the usual grunt from the fake Elvis.
"An anime about muscly men—" which is not wrong at all because the screen clearly shows two muscly men screaming at each other in the middle of a desert. Their muscles are so big and great, they threaten to pop the button of their shirt. "—who are fighting each other in tight suits."
"No."
"No?"
"No. They're fighting a vampire," Asahi answers deadpan as if that's supposed to be a common knowledge everyone and their mother possessed.
Groaning tiredly, Junkyu flops to a vacant chair next to Asahi. "I honestly don't care if they're fighting a vampire or a dog, what I care is—"
"How do you know that?"
"—What?" Junkyu frowns at Asahi who seems to be a bit surprised. Underline the word 'seems' because the sunglasses are doing a hell of a job covering any expression the blonde may have. Also, underline the word 'may' because there's a possibility Asahi isn't capable of emoting any expression.
But what the blonde is capable of is chewing another chip and letting the crunchy sound seduces Junkyu's grumbling stomach.
Asahi says, "The dog. The dog can fight too."
"The dog can fight too?!" Junkyu lurches forward, gawking at the screen. "How can a dog fight? Did—did the dog stand on its two feet? From being bitten by a vampire then got superpower—wait, wait, I'm not here to talk about a dog! I'm here for our song, Sahi-ya!"
"You want a preview?"
"Duuh! What else am I here for?!"
"The talking dog."
"The dog can talk??"
Suffice to say, they only get little work done that day. The rest is filled with munching chips and watching a rowdy fight between a talking dog and a talking bird which Junkyu very much appreciates the noisiness since his other human company doesn't talk too much in comparison to the animals.
-
"Hi again, username romytheflower, and thanks for the fifteen thousand won donation! Your message is 'Hi Junkyu-ah, great cover of James Arthur earlier! Feel the pain so much. I'm also trying to make up with my ex-boyfriend, wish me luck! Oh, and also can't wait for your collab song!' Oh, that's great! Hope things go smoothly with your ex, Mr. Romy. And yeah, stay tuned for the song, it's still in progress! But thank you for listening as always!"
Junkyu shoots a big, fat grin at the camera before scrolling his chatroom again.
Another day, another stream and his Chat is a little hyperactive than usual. Comments after comments come, too quick for the streamer to keep up. Ah, he should've hired a moderator like his manager once advised to sort the best or relevant comment out of the rest.
Then, a different notification pops in; the donation. Junkyu sets the sound of a cat's meowing as the ringtone so he can quickly notice them.
"Oh, we have the username wolfie_woo with the fifteen thousand won donation! Thank you! Your message is 'Junkyu-aaahh! When is the song? I'm a big fan of you and Asahi-nim! Post soon, please please please!' Ahh, of course, of course! As soon as it's ready, I'm gonna perform it LIVE to you guys! Wait a little bit, okay? Hahaha!"
The laughter seems a bit forced but just a bit. No biggie.
Right?
Junkyu brushes the thought off before putting on a perfect smile. "And next, we have a username—"
Suddenly, the chatroom rolls fast—like the end credit of a movie. New comments are flooding in per second and Junkyu catches one of the many that has the same context.
kyustan999 : song pls!!!!! post it next week pls!!!!
The hand that's hovering over the keyboard and mouse stiffened as the owner goes alarmed. The Chat is asking about the song again even though it's only been three weeks since Junkyu and Asahi started.
musiclovers : omg cant wait! it's gonna be so good :DDD
lovekimjunkyu : can you and asahi-nim work faster :( we wanna hear
Biting his lips, Junkyu suppresses the incoming scowl, mirroring the sad emoji his fans typed but can Junkyu be sad toward them too? He already told them that he and Asahi needed time until next month so what are all these nagging for?
No. Junkyu can't look sad. He has to smile. For the camera, the Chat—he has too.
Or they'll get even more disappointed and leave.
90sgothkid : post it post it post it post it post it post it post it post it post it
But how can he, how can he—
bonbonmom : post it post it post it post it post it post it post it post it post it (2)
yourmytrsr : post it post it post it post it post it post it post it post it post it (3)
itsnotcavitylol : post it post it post it post it post it post it post it post it post it (4)
anon931370 : post it post it post it post it post it post it post it post it post it (5)
Junkyu's heart races faster each time a new comment barges in. He tries not to read them but how can he when the camera streaming the moment LIVE and the audiences at home or work expects Junkyu to receive their love in form of words but is it love when reading them makes his lungs stuffed so it's harder to breathe and his thoughts scrambled, anxiety spiked, feet tapped erratically at the carpeted floor of his room, and oh, no, his smile soon falters—
A cat meows.
Junkyu breathes in sharply. A trickle of sweat runs down at the side of his face. The notification sound grounds him back to reality, thank god. His eyes scatter, out of focus, before narrowing at the new pop-up at the top corner of the screen.
User robocop sends a fifty thousand won donation!
Message : [none]
Reading the username gives Junkyu a small relief, along with the absence of a pressuring message. He swallows the lump on his throat and forces his dry mouth to work. "A—and thanks username robocop! For the usual fifty thousand won donation! Haha…"
But his laughter swiftly dies as soon as he notices the chatroom freezes. From rapid-fire to static. A familiar dread dawns on him;
none is listening anymore.
"…Are you guys still listening?" he tries to confirm in timid whispers to the dead air. But who’s there. No one.
Silence is truly an enemy, especially when you're alone in the room, joking when no one is laughing.
But like before, the fata morgana of online fame reconstructs itself back; a new comment appears. A couple of seconds later, the Chat adds ten more, then fifteen, then endless, like the stretching distance one must cross the vast desert to check if the mirage is real or not.
Spoiler; it never is.
But Junkyu doesn't know this. So he pulls himself together, straightens his back, and smiles—as sincere as he can even if his lips tremble out of fear.
The camera doesn't catch it.
-
The next day, Junkyu starts to make himself useful and scribbles some words that can be used as lyrics. He doesn't have any experience in songwriting but hey, there's a first time in everything, and he knows the direction the song is going to be. It's a mellow, ballad song about young love, how hard can it be.
So Junkyu texts Asahi to send the work-in-progress beats and starts channeling his inner Sam Smith overnight, just in time for tomorrow's after-lunch meeting with the composer.
But when he gets there, Asahi—or maybe Junkyu should just call him fake Elvis permanently since the blonde is so adamant wearing those ugly sideburns and sunglasses—surprises the streamer with a sheet of wrinkled paper containing his version of the lyrics.
Of course, Junkyu straight off goes into a rant after that.
"Ya, Sahi-ya! There's a reason why I asked for your WIP beats, and that's to write the lyrics for it, or else, why would I asked at the day before we're gonna meet! And you already composed the whole thing! At least, let me do this, or I'm useless here—"
"But you already sing—"
"But I wanna write too—!"
"Okay, okay, I get it," Asahi mumbles, rubbing the ear that's hidden by Elvis' sideburn. "Stop talking too loud, my head is ringing—"
"Well, you aren't talking enough! It's like I'm talking for the both of us! And how am I supposed to know that you already finished the lyrics?"
"I sent a text last night."
"Which read 'done.' That’s it. One word that could literally mean anything! Were you done showering? Done getting your dinner? Done watching that—that anime with muscly men in tight suits—"
"The anime is called JJBA. Have respect for the muscly men."
Junkyu wants to snort if he isn't so worked up right now. He exhales exasperatedly instead. "I assure you the muscly men in tight suits can have all my respect if you start telling me the stuff you've been working on since this is a collaboration project, Sahi-ya! Now, we have two lyrics and it's gonna be awkward as hell trying to decide which one to use?"
Asahi shrugs, "Do rock, paper, scissors—"
"Oh my god."
"—I'm rock."
"You're not supposed to tell me!"
"The rock."
"—What?"
"Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson," replies Asahi flatly. "Since you love Hollywood so much."
Think Junkyu's brain got short-circuited for a moment there, as he stands still as a rock—damn it, it's the rock again—while Asahi snatches the notebook in Junkyu's hand to read his lyrics. The latter wants to hyperbole by saying an hour passes by but not really, it's only been fifteen seconds before the gears in his head spin after being immobilized by Asahi's first attempt of humor. Even his mouth still stammers. "A—A—Are you joking?"
Asahi doesn't immediately reply, too focused on inspecting each line across Junkyu's note. But when he does, it's the expectant "Hm."
Before Junkyu can tease, the fake Elvis turns around, back to his computer. He says, "Let's go with your lyrics."
Junkyu's eyes grow huge in disbelief. "Really?"
"Hm."
"Y—you're okay with that?"
"Hm."
Soon, the sound of mouse clicking and keyboards replaces their chattering. Asahi is in the zone and Junkyu feels reluctant to bother the other with his perturbing thoughts because he still doesn't believe it. True, he wants to contribute but he thought Asahi is just going to pick and choose, not accept the lyrics as a whole. Junkyu is the newbie out of the two, after all. But maybe, Junkyu's insecurity is shown through the slightly jittery legs and confused gazes he throws at the focused composer so sometime after, when Junkyu is one step away to leave the basement to let the late afternoon breeze outside blows away his growing doubts, Asahi quietly murmurs, "Don't worry. It's good. I like it."
If Junkyu goes home smiling ear to ear until his cheeks hurt,
well, the fake Elvis doesn't know.
-
The song is called Orange.
Asahi named it based on Junkyu's lyrics. And they finish it right on time, at the first week of the month after. Before posting the collab song online, they premier Orange via LIVE performance in Junkyu's streaming channel. They set it on Sunday evening in Junkyu's apartment, the time when everyone is relaxed at home while counting down toward Monday.
The performance garners more viewers than Junkyu usually has, as expected since Asahi's fans from Youtube are watching too. More audience means more donations which will be split between them.
By the end, positive comments crowd the chatroom and some even express their excitement for Junkyu to have more collaboration with other YouTubers or Twitch streamers in the future. It's encouraging, really, but after the whole ordeal and the almost panic attack he had on-cam, he doesn't know if he's up for it. So he doesn't make any promises, simply displays his signature cheerful smile until the end of the stream.
As soon as the camera switches off, the screen blinks dark, Junkyu heaves a long, deep sigh.
Oh, boy, the things he does for his fans—a thought that often disturbs his mind. Maybe it's time for a career change, he solemnly ponders.
"You don't have to do that."
Eyes shot open—and Junkyu wonders since when they're closed—as he lifts his gaze toward the blonde seated at his side.
Junkyu frowns, "Do what?"
Then Asahi smiles—weirdly. First, since he never does it in front of Junkyu. Second, it's wrinkling his whole face like a used mop. It's almost as if he purposely pulls all the nerves across his face and neck with every fiber of his being. The sunglasses and sideburns still cover half of his face but even the get-up doesn't hide how forceful the smile is.
It draws a snort out of Junkyu who stares in utter confusion. "Why are you smiling like that?"
"Like what?" But Asahi quickly asks back. Odd.
"Like—like being forced—"
"But you did that earlier in front of the camera."
And it's like a slap in the cheek—but the gentle kind since it's Asahi, who's confronting Junkyu's deepest fear with that awful sunglasses and fake sideburns that don't even match his platinum hair but somehow, the comedy they bring is lessening the tension shared between the two young men.
"You don't have to smile when there's nothing to be smiled about, Junkyu-ah," and Asahi utters delicately as if afraid they come out too strong, too rough edges, it'll bleed Junkyu's kind heart. "If you're upset with them nagging you on a project you struggled with, then don't smile. Just be upset. Let them know that you're struggling. Nothing's wrong being a human."
For a brief while, Asahi speaks no more. Maybe letting his words sink into Junkyu's head. The latter too is speechless, gazing at the blonde, and secretly wishes he can rip the sunglasses off Asahi's face so he has some clue on how the other feels right now.
Because Junkyu is not calm at all; heart's pounding, hands clenching his jeans, lips chewing but not driven by fear—something else. Gratefulness? Definitely.
Finally, someone spoke the thought he's always scared to speak out loud.
And to think, they knew each other because of the collaboration, the one thing that brings Junkyu to ruin.
Then, this is a silver lining that Junkyu gladly accepts. He slips out a breathy chuckle, shaking his head in bewilderment. "Wow."
"What?"
"That's… probably the longest sentence you've said to me since we started the collab."
Asahi doesn't reply but if Junkyu can guess, the blonde is probably rolling his eyes behind the dark screen. It tickles the streamer, just imagining it.
"But yeah, you're right. My smile doesn't look good, does it?" A rhetorical question, both know the answer. Junkyu ducks his chin low, wistful, as he murmurs, "I guess, I'm just scared they would leave if I didn't smile or be cheerful. I mean, who wants to watch some sad guy singing sad songs anyway."
"—I do."
Junkyu snaps up, startles at the other speaker who's curling his lips for a nip of the moment, seemingly thinking, before continuing, "Look, your voice is great enough as it is and your default personality is already blindingly bright, no need to add fake giggles on top of it. Don't think too much about anything else, just sing and… be you." Asahi sighs quietly, and adds, "As cliché as it sounds."
The silence fills the space again but this time Junkyu views it not as an enemy but a friend. The silence is comfortable and calming and curious because he can't help but wonder when it changed. Curious, because he thinks the answer is behind the sunglasses and fake sideburns—the answer lies in Asahi's true expression so Junkyu stands up and approaches.
"Hey."
Asahi looks up.
"Why are you still wearing that get-up? You never wear it in your Youtube videos. Are you trying to be funny?" Junkyu offers a short giggle but Asahi just—quiet. Back to his normal self.
"Hm," the blonde grunts.
"Can you take it off—" which earns a slightly panicked look from Asahi, Junkyu corrects himself quickly. "I mean, just this once. Oh! Let's take a photo for your Youtube thumbnail. But without the sunglasses. Please?"
It takes a full minute until Asahi responds. The blonde then nods weakly before pulling down the sunglasses that are attached to the sideburns. His eyes squint to adjust the light shining from the additional lighting stand Junkyu rented just for the performance, before they flutter slowly open and sees Junkyu,
who's studying Asahi's sculpted face eagerly—from the tip of his eyebrows down to his nose then his chin—mapping the stoic expression with his eyes, peering into a pair of orbs that gazes back and wonders if galaxies are made right this very moment inside them for they twinkle beautifully, sucking Junkyu in like gravity. A faint blush bloom across thin cheeks as the owner stays needlessly quiet under Junkyu's attention, and the latter fails to repress the child-like smile gracing his features
for his answer is found.
A glance at the beaming man hovering above, Asahi quickly looks away, grumbling under his breath, "Told you it's bright."
"Oh, the lighting?"
"Hm," before the blonde puts the sunglasses back on swiftly.
Junkyu pouts a little sad but Asahi is stubborn, pressing his lips tight and shaking his head until the streamer gives up. So in the end, Junkyu takes a photo with the fake Elvis. Surely, the fans will have a field day making the Youtuber a new meme.
When the night ends and Asahi's hand rests on the doorknob, Junkyu calls him one last time;
"Sahi-ya."
"Hm."
"Thank you."
"Hm."
-
Maybe his fans will leave—Junkyu has to accept the possibility if he ever wants to drop the fabricated cheerful self and be true to his feelings. An online persona is needed, yes, but if it's at the cost of his mental health, then maybe he needs to re-evaluate the best course of action on how to proceed.
In the end, Junkyu is still Junkyu; a handsome man with baby cheeks, a big grin, and a sonorous voice, singing on a keyboard.
"—and username romytheflower is here again! Thanks for the fifteen thousand won donation and your message is 'Hi Junkyu-ah, thanks for taking me and my boyfriend's request! And yes, we got back together again! Woo-hoo! He's here with me and we love your covers so much! Take care!' Gosh, Mr. Romy, congrats! And hi to you too, Mr. Romy's boyfriend! Thank you so much for being here and listening! Glad you like them!"
A cat meows, meaning a new donation just comes in. Junkyu reads it out loud, "Oh, username princedobby with the twenty thousand won donation! Thank you! And your message is 'Hello Junkyu-ah, I've been listening to your collab song with Asahi-nim on repeat. It's so good. Are you guys thinking of collaborating again soon?' .."
Collaboration—why not? And this time Junkyu is going to wear his heart on his sleeve, no more hiding his struggles or frowns in exchange for forced positivity. Maybe his fans will leave—but maybe, not all of them.
"Well, I'm game if he is—" he gazes at the camera, beyond the lens, at one man he's sure is always present. For him, Junkyu smiles sincerely and full of love, "—Are you listening?"
Meows—a notification pops in.
User robocop sends a fifty thousand won donation!
Message : always. also, nice smile, junkyu-ah :)