Work Text:
“This is nice.” Buffy walked slowly down the aisle, studying the items on either side. “I can’t remember the last time I went grocery shopping. Or had the money to.” Buffy put some canned corn into the cart and moved on. Its wobbly wheel made the task a bit harder, but she was the vampire slayer, the Chosen One. If she could destroy a demon, she would handle a grocery cart.
“It does seem rather mundane after some of the stuff we’ve been doing.” Willow exchanged the brand name for the store brand.
“Why did you do that?”
“Oh, the store brand is the same quality, but it’s cheaper. No used wasting money if we don’t have to.” She giggled. “Besides, we still have Aisle 5 to go.”
“Aisle 5? What’s on that?” Buffy turned the cart to the left.
“Treasure!” Willow helped the cart maneuver around the corner. They stood at the entrance to Aisle 5. “Is it glowing or is it just me?”
Buffy laughed. “If I have a nickel for every time I’ve heard that, I’d have a lot of nickels.” She looked at the overhead sign. “Cereal, candy, cookies, chips – this is heart attack city. We can’t let Giles find out about this. “
Willow had already grabbed two boxes of cereal. “So, Lucky Charms or Count Chocula?” She put both in the cart without pausing for Buffy’s decision and continued on.
Buffy stared at the cereal and felt a tingle at the base of her neck. Carefully, she moved her hand to her purse and slipped it inside to grasp the stake she always carried. In one motion, she pulled it out, spun and aimed, only to stop at the last moment.
“Spike?”
The vampire has jumped back a few steps, out of stake range. “Cor, Slayer, what’s got up your nose?”
“What are you doing here, Spike?”
Spike looked to the left and the right, then hooked a finger at her. Buffy tightened her grip on the stake before leaning closer to hear him murmur, “I’m grocery shopping.”
“Hey, Buffy, how about double stuffed Oreos? Only a bit more… Oh, hi, Spike!”
“Red.”
“I didn’t know vampires shopped.” She put the package in the cart. “Oh and Giles wanted some cornichons.”
“What? What are those?”
“No idea.”
“Pickles, he wants pickles, Red.” Spike pulled a box of cereal off the shelf and placed it in the basket he carried.
“Weetabix?” Buffy read the box as it passed.
“Yeah, what of it?”
“I just didn’t know you could eat.”
“Of course we can. It doesn’t sustain us, but we still have all the working parts.” Spike looked down at Buffy’s cart. “Not that you’re one to talk. What a mess!”
Buffy looked at her cart, filled with chips, soda, ice cream, along with everything Willow was dropping in it.
“What’s wrong with it?”
“All that processed nonsense? Any vampire likely to bite you would get diabetes. Where are your fresh fruits and vegetables?”
“Have you seen how expensive they are? Canned is cheaper.”
“You don’t have to worry about monsters and demons taking over the world, Luv. Preservatives have already done that.” Willow dropped an armload of candy into the cart and Spike shook his head. “That’s it. We’re done here.”
He reached out and took Buffy by the hand to start dragging her toward the back of the store.
“Spike, what are you doing?” She struggled but stopped just short of punching him.
“You are going to shop and you are going to do it right. After I’ve bagged my third Slayer, I’m not going to have people tell me it was a mercy killing.”
Joyce Summers emptied out the last grocery bag and smiled happily at her daughter. “Buffy, I am so proud of you. The choices you made were perfect and honestly not what I expected.” She carried the fresh produce to the refrigerator. “Did a little bird whisper in your ear?”
“More like a little bat,” Willow murmured.
Buffy just glared at her. Someday, someway, somehow, she was going to stake that busybody…
