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It was Christmas Eve. The Phantom Thieves had just won their final battle against the malevolent god. The metaverse was gone. It was supposed to be over.
But on that fateful day, as the pair stood alone in the middle of Shibuya Crossing, the boy was made to realize that it wasn’t over. Not for him.
I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do this.
Those were the only words that ran through Katsumi’s mind. Yet, Sae looked back at him with those crimson eyes filled with expectation. She was actually asking him to do this. Sae, of all people in the entirety of the universe, was actually asking him to do this. Sae, who saw first hand what they did to him. Did she want him to get tortured a second time?
This isn’t fair. This isn’t fair at all.
Those crimson eyes, filled with so much expectation. It wasn’t the first time they looked at him that way. No, he could never forget the way they burned like fire as she demanded answers he didn’t have. He could never forget the way his brain rattled against his skull when that woman stood up and banged her palms against the table, demanding answers he didn’t have.
Haven’t I done enough? Why must it be me?
Sae didn’t seem completely oblivious— she couldn’t have been. She must’ve seen the horror, or rather, the agony on his face. “Katsumi. This is to convict Shido and prevent society from becoming distorted again. That’s what you want too, isn’t it?”
He did want that. He didn’t want all his team’s efforts to go to waste, nor did he want his friends to get arrested in what would essentially be a dramatic power move made by the police and public prosecutors. But was this seriously the only way? Juvenile hall? Solitary confinement? Throwing himself into the hands of police who wouldn’t bat an eye at him being beaten to death?
I feel so fucking sick. I want to throw up.
“If you do this, I can guarantee the safety of your teammates. I could also guarantee that I’ll expose and close each and every case surrounding Shido. So I’m going to ask you again. Please, I’d like for you to turn yourself in to the police of your own accord.”
It’s just so easy for you to ask me that, isn’t it?
Those crimson eyes, filled with so much expectation. He hated it. Why should he be expected to do this? Why should he be expected to throw his life away?
As badly as he wanted to cling onto those selfish questions, he knew he couldn’t. He didn’t have the heart to.
She asked him like he had a choice in this, but in reality, he didn’t. He wasn’t ever going to compromise on his ideals, and he sure as hell wasn’t ever going to put his own wellbeing over the wellbeing of his dearest friends. Part of him felt like breaking down. But strangely, after everything, his emotions all felt dulled and pointless. He prayed it would stay that way; it’s easier.
But as easy as it was to embrace, the emptiness that weighed his heart felt just plain wrong. It brought both relief and sickening repugnance— it was a paradox.
I wish you were here with me right now, Morgana. You always helped me make sense of things.
He focused on the chill of the winter air to keep his mind clear. He focused on the cold snowflakes that landed on his shoulders and intertwined with locks of his hair. He didn’t let the slightest emotion surface past his mask, past his fogged lenses.
“I’ll protect my team,” he said. “And I’ll do what I can to reform society.”
Sae smiled— to Katsumi, it felt almost mocking.
“I had a feeling you would say that. Thank you. Leave the rest to us.” She bowed. Her smile persisted. “Let’s go.”
She turned her back to him, her silver hair riding the soft breeze. She walked forward, leaving Katsumi to follow in what was, to him, essentially a death march. Apprehension and anxiety tried their damndest to overwhelm him, to choke him, but the emptiness prevailed. Maybe he had gotten too used to walking headfirst into self-destruction. Maybe he was just too exhausted to feel much of anything anymore.
The monotony that swarmed him persisted until he felt his phone buzz violently in his pocket. When he read her name, his stomach flipped as his entire body froze in place.
Ann.
He struggled to read her text message as his hands uncontrollably shook.
Ann<3: Hey. I sorta couldn’t bring myself to say it earlier but… let’s meet up. Just the two of us. Like, maybe we could get some dinner and then head back to your room?
He didn’t know how to answer, or if he should answer at all. Sae looked back at him with a raised brow.
“Is something wrong?” She asked.
It was only then that Katsumi realized his eyes were damp. The boy opened his mouth but made no sound. Those crimson eyes, filled with expectation, became piercing. He feared they would turn on him.
“Don’t tell me you’re having second thoughts,” she said. “You know what’s at stake here. Now is not the time for weak resolve.”
Sae, are you actually kidding me?
Katsumi wanted to snap, but he forced upon himself the composed demeanor he had become so reliant on. He fought to keep all the thoughts flooding his mind at bay and to focus on what he wanted most. He knew exactly what he wanted most.
He wanted to see Ann. He wanted one last moment of happiness to hold onto before his freedom was made into a sacrifice.
He wiped away his building tears before they had a chance to fall. His expression hardened into a stone-cold grimace to combat Sae’s sharp glare.
“My resolve is fine, thank you much. But I need a little more time. There is… something I need to do first.”
Katsumi stared right into those crimson eyes and refused to break eye contact. Those piercing eyes, filled with skepticism, shut closed as the woman turned away with a nod.
“...Very well. You can turn yourself in tomorrow morning.”
Without another word, Sae left. Katsumi was alone.
Katsumi looked up into the sky and let the snowflakes drop onto his face. He wondered if one good night could possibly make up for the pain he was about to cause. He hoped, one day, Ann would be able to forgive him.
* * *
Seeing Katsumi ecstatic was rare. Ann had gotten used to seeing soft smiles and reserved nods— not that she minded it. It was who Katsumi was, and she loved Katsumi for who he was. It made those rare moments where Katsumi lit up with childlike joy all the more special, not to mention adorable. It made her day, each and every time.
Those rare moments had been becoming rarer and rarer, to a point where Ann barely saw them anymore. She was beginning to worry that November 20th might have obliterated those moments altogether. Since that day, getting him to genuinely smile at all had become a challenge in itself. The grins he did offer were so stilted and strained, but he kept trying to act like nothing was wrong. He tried to act like he was okay, and it was painful to watch.
So when Ann witnessed Katsumi’s face light up at the sight of her, she thought she was dreaming.
He ran through Shibuya’s crowd and grabbed her in a tight hug. He lifted her off her feet, causing her to let out a surprised squeak.
“Ann! I’m so happy I get to see you!”
He spun Ann around in circles, smiling from ear to ear. The girl laughed, even as she grew dizzy.
“Katsumi, Katsumi, please! People are staring!”
Katsumi lowered her back to the ground in a gentle motion. His gray eyes were glistening beautifully under the city’s artificial light, but Ann’s gaze was more drawn to the lively smile he wore. It made her heart flutter as blood rushed to her cheeks.
“Sorry, sorry,” he said. “I’m just really excited to see you.”
“You’re silly,” she teased. “You saw me earlier today.”
“Alright, then I’m just really excited to see you without having to fight God. Not exactly the preferred setting for a date.”
“Good point. Not exactly the preferred way to spend Christmas Eve either. But you know what? We fought God and won! I think we’ve earned the chance to indulge ourselves in some fun!”
“Yeah. We have.” Katsumi nodded, but something in his expression shifted. His eyes became downcast as his lips curled into a slight frown. Ann couldn’t decipher why.
“Yeah…” Ann wanted nothing more than to bring back that smile. “Anyway, let’s go get dinner! It’s probably ‘cause we were busy saving the world and everything, but I’m starving!”
Ann reached forward and grabbed Katsumi’s hand, which caused him to perk right back up. He squeezed her hand back with such strength that she was stunned that her fingers didn’t crack under the pressure. She didn’t mind the ache— she was too distracted with the loving look she was receiving. Gray eyes still glistening and brimming with fondness, brow in a slight upward arch, lips curved into a gentle grin.
“O-okay!” Ann prayed her face didn’t match the color of her bright red jacket. “Let’s go.”
As Ann led the way through the crowded streets, she couldn’t help but take note of Katsumi’s consistent death grip. It was as if he was afraid that if her hand slipped from his, she would become lost within the sea of people.
* * *
Katsumi had never been so frustrated with Christmas in his life. Given the chance, he might’ve whacked Santa Claus aside the head with a baseball bat.
The couple had searched the entirety of Shibuya’s underground mall for somewhere, anywhere to sit down and eat. To their misfortune, it seemed the entirety of Japan decided to celebrate Christmas Eve by filling every single restaurant to its maximum capacity. Katsumi, being stubborn as ever, tried everything in his power to get seats. He even tried to haggle and bargain with the host and hostesses, at one point resorting to bribery, but still, he had no luck.
It was frustrating, to say the least. But what really made Katsumi want to drive his head through a wall was the disheartened look on Ann’s face.
“This sucks,” she said as Katsumi’s heart sank. “I can’t believe every place is full… Christmas Eve really is a war zone.”
“No joke.” Katsumi tried to shake off the overwhelming dread with a laugh, but it fell flat. “This is truly insane… I’m sorry, Ann.”
Her eyes flitted to the boy. “What are you apologizing for? This isn’t your fault.”
“I guess not, but I really wanted to make tonight special for us. You deserve a nice night. So… I’m sorry that I can’t make dinner happen.”
“Oh, enough with the sorries. No need for the drama.” Ann wrapped her arms around his, latching onto him with a carefree giggle. “Maybe we can’t get a fancy dinner tonight, but we could always do that some other time.”
Reality hung over Katsumi’s head like a storm cloud. He dropped his head and stared at his shoes.
This is all the time we have, Ann. I don’t know if there will be ‘some other time.’
Those words clogged his throat but he refused to say them. He didn't care if that made him selfish. He didn’t want to worry her during these last moments he got to see her.
“Katsumi?”
As Ann called out to him, Katsumi cussed at himself internally. He didn’t want to worry Ann, but here he was, letting his sorrow slip through the cracks and reveal itself. There was plenty of time to frown and mope and wallow in his agony once he was thrown into isolation. Now wasn’t the time for it.
He looked down at Ann, guilt pulsing through his head as he saw her baby blue eyes staring at him in concern. He placed one hand on her shoulder and ran the other through one of her pigtails, twirling the ends around his finger. Her blonde hair was as soft as it looked. Playing with it helped his mind, which was almost always on overdrive, become quiet and placid.
“Are you okay?” She asked.
“Yeah. I’m fine as long as I got you.”
Ann, caught by surprise, gaped at the boy as she blinked once, twice. Soon after, her brow knitted together as her lips pursed in a pout. “Who gave you the right to be so smooth?”
Katsumi laughed, still twirling Ann’s hair around his finger. “As a master thief, I outta be.”
Ann snorted. “That’s my Joker for you. And also, you owe me a playdate with your hair. It’s only fair.”
“I’m sure we could arrange that. Maybe we should head back to Leblanc. Sojiro’s probably home by now, but I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if I used some leftover ingredients to make us some curry.”
Seemingly pleased with the arrangement, Ann nodded. Katsumi sighed in relief. Using any of Sojiro’s stock without explicit permission was something that, normally, Katsumi never would’ve dreamed of doing. But at this point, even if Sojiro did get angry with him, he didn’t exactly have much to lose.
“Sounds like a plan,” Ann said. “But before we go, there is one last thing we can’t leave without. It wouldn’t be Christmas without a Christmas cake! I’m dying for something sweet!”
Ann grabbed his hand— her palm was warm to the touch. She led him through the mall and into a bakery, which turned out to have been already ravaged and emptied by the crazed Christmas crowd. Given the chance, Katsumi might’ve drop-kicked Santa Claus without a hint of remorse.
“Looks like they’re sold out. So much for cake,” Ann shrugged, attempting to appear unbothered. Her disappointment still reared its head in her voice. “Maybe next year. Um… should we—”
“No. I’m not letting Christmas win this one.”
“You’re not letting Christmas what now?”
“Ann, wait here. I’ll be right back.”
With absolute vengeance in his heart, Katsumi left Ann in front of the bakery and dashed to the nearest convenience store. In his ongoing fight against Christmas that he was destined to lose, he was determined to at least win this one battle.
* * *
Something is wrong.
Something deep inside Ann kept screaming those words again and again, no matter how hard she tried to brush it off.
He’s hiding something.
When was Katsumi not hiding something? He wasn’t the type to wear his heart on his sleeve. Perhaps he was grieving over Morgana after his goodbye? Yes, yes that would make sense. It still didn’t feel quite real to her yet… but maybe Morgana’s absence had already hit Katsumi full force. Yes, that’s it. It’s simple.
Something is very wrong.
Ann wrote herself off as paranoid.
She tried to silence her mind and enjoy the moment— and she really did enjoy the moment. She was almost glad that all the restaurants were fully booked since she had an absolute blast cooking curry with Katsumi. Constantly teasing and poking each other with the utensils, listening to each other hum annoyingly catchy pop songs, his patience as she frantically tried to follow his instructions, the way his hands wrapped around hers as they stirred the pot together. The end result turned out quite good and filling, and it tasted even better knowing it was something they’ve made together. She couldn’t have been any happier.
And yet, Katsumi still had a surprise up his sleeve.
Katsumi had walked out of the convenience store with a packed plastic bag, and no matter how many times Ann asked, he wouldn’t tell her what was inside. He wouldn’t tell her on their walk home, he still wouldn’t tell her as they ate their curry, and he still wouldn’t tell her as they walked up into the attic. It was only when he unfolded his folding table and dumped the contents of the bag onto it that the mystery was solved.
Packaged snack cakes. Many packaged snack cakes.
Ann didn’t get it, but her sweet tooth was ecstatic.
“Mind helping me unwrap all these?” Katsumi gestured to the packages with a playful smirk. “It’s a lot for one man to unwrap by himself, but unwrapping them is a pivotal part of my plan.”
“Oh? Your plan? What is it you’re up to?”
“You’ll find out.”
“You’re ridiculous, you know that?” Ann shook her head in feigned dismissal, but the fondness behind her words did not escape Katsumi’s ears. “But I can’t say no with sweets involved.”
“I know, your one and only weakness.”
The boy snickered as Ann walked to his side and butted his arm with her elbow.
After the pair had both unwrapped all the snack cakes, Ann watched as Katsumi stacked them into rows and organized them to make a tall, round shape. Ann still didn’t get it. Once he was satisfied with his creation, Katsumi clapped his hands together and presented the cakes like the main attraction at a circus.
“Behold!” He cheered. “Our Christmas cake! It’s one of a kind, wouldn’t you say?”
It all clicked together.
Ann was sent into a laughing fit. She really, really had to give Katsumi credit for his creativity— though honestly, she shouldn’t be surprised. On their Phantom Thief escapades, Katsumi had a way of getting creative when plots didn’t go his way. She admired his adaptability.
Especially now, with the “cake” sitting in front of her. Now, she truly couldn’t have been any happier.
“I love it! I love it!” Ann wheezed as she caught her breath from nonstop laughter. “Forget whatever the bakery was selling, this is the best cake ever!”
Katsumi rubbed the nape of his neck as his cheeks glowed pink. “Glad to hear that.”
“Awe, look, you’re blushing! You’re so cute when you blush.”
Without thinking, Ann reached out for his cheeks, turning his head to face her. Now face to face with the boy, noses nearly touching, Ann’s own cheeks were turning pink.
Her cheeks began to burn once he leaned forward and gave her a quick peck on the forehead.
“Shall we eat cake?” He asked.
“Y-yeah!” Ann threw her hands over her warm cheeks. “L-let us eat cake!”
* * *
Ann couldn’t think of a better way to end the night. It was like something out of a dream.
They sat on the edge of the bed watching the snowfall from Leblanc’s window, Ann leaning against Katsumi’s shoulder. There was something beautiful about watching a sheet of white spread over everything they’ve come to know. It was like a new perspective granted only at a certain time of year.
Ann enjoyed watching the beauty of the scenery. However, when she looked up at Katsumi’s face, she wondered if he was watching the snow with her or if he was somewhere else deep inside his mind. His eyes were downcast and unfocused, his brow was low and his lips were curled in what was just short of a frown.
What was going on in that head of his?
Something is wrong.
Maybe she was imagining things.
Something is very wrong.
She had to be imagining things.
“...Katsumi?”
“Mhm?”
“Um… I’ve got something for you.”
Ann bent down and grabbed her purse. She retrieved a pair of brand new, fuzzy, black earmuffs from inside and slid them over Katsumi’s ears.
“Tada! It’s only going to get colder out so… I figured you could use these! And I heard black was a good color for bringing out gray eyes… but now that I think about it, the black totally gets lost in your hair. Uh… I hope you like them anyway!”
Katsumi touched the fur of the earmuffs with the tips of his fingers. He smiled, but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “They’re great, Ann. I’ll make sure to take good care of them.”
Ann heard overt sadness in his words.
Something is very wrong.
Ann wished she could just make her brain shut up already.
Before Ann could dwell on her thoughts any longer, Katsumi reached into his pocket and took out a small white box. He took off the top to reveal a necklace with a small glistening ruby. The boy looked off to the side as he extended the box out to her.
“Speaking of… you said you like to wear red because it brings out your eyes, right? Well… I thought this would be perfect for that.”
“Katsumi, you… this wasn’t super expensive or anything, was it?”
“Don’t worry about that. Nothing I couldn’t pay for… um. Do you like it?”
“Of course I love it!”
Ann took the box from Katsumi’s hands and held it to her heart. She wasn’t thinking about anything but the beating in her chest caused by the boy who sat beside her.
“Thank you for the gift, Katsumi. And thank you for falling in love with me.”
“...I should be thanking you for that.” Katsumi put a finger to Ann’s chin and lifted it so that their eyes met. “I’m so lucky to have met you. I’m so lucky to have someone as wonderful and as kindhearted as you in my life.”
“...I love you.”
“I love you too, Ann.”
They shared a kiss— long, gentle, thoughtful, meaningful. It took a long time for them to pull away, and when they did, Ann laid her head back on Katsumi’s shoulder. Katsumi wrapped his arm around her.
“...So um… I don’t have to be home at any given time.” Ann wrapped an arm around Katsumi’s stomach. “Do you… mind if I sleep over?”
* * *
Katsumi fell asleep first.
Ann always loved watching Katsumi sleep, as admittedly weird as that may sound. He always looked so peaceful. Uncharacteristically peaceful.
Ann laid next to him. She stroked his cheek and chin with the gentle touch of her finger, then ruffled his frizzy black hair like one would scratch the top of a cat’s head. Throughout all of this petting, his delicate and full lashes remained shut.
They remained shut as he began to whimper.
Morgana had confided in Ann quite often, which Ann worried might stop as soon as Morgana realized she was dating Katsumi. Thankfully, Morgana took it all surprisingly well, and he even began to confide in Ann about his concerns with Katsumi’s wellbeing. He had mentioned on multiple occasions that his nights were restless. He told her that Katsumi kept accidentally waking him with his nightmares.
So when Katsumi’s legs began to kick and his face twitched into a pained grimace, Ann wasn’t surprised. She anticipated something like this may happen, which allowed her to keep calm as opposed to getting lost in a panic. She whispered soft assurances and wrapped both her arms around him. She pulled him closer and allowed his cheek to press against her chest. She kept running her hand through his hair.
The whimpering stopped. The kicking stopped. He nuzzled further into her embrace.
Something is wrong.
Ann’s mind kept screaming those words. Deep down, she knew those words to be true. Something was wrong… but she also believed that it was going to be okay. Whatever turmoil Katsumi was facing, Ann swore she would be there to face it with him. She would be there for him, just as he was there for her. She would help him in his darkest hour, just as he helped her when she felt her life was unraveling.
“It’s going to be okay, Katsumi,” she whispered into his ear. “I promise, it’s going to be okay. I’m here for you.”
* * *
Katsumi woke up first.
His resolve wavered.
How could his resolve not waver when he looked at her? She looked so tiny and fragile, practically swimming in the sweatshirt and sweatpants he gave her to use as makeshift pajamas. Her wavy platinum hair, loose and unbound, sprawled over her body like a drape. Her cheeks were rosy pink, her breathing rhythmic and delicate, her palms so warm. He held her hand as he watched her sleep, and he wanted nothing more than to stay. He wanted nothing more than to wait for those pretty blue eyes to flutter open, greet her with a kiss, hug her and not let go.
But it has never, ever been about what he wanted. That’s not how his life works.
Besides, he was doing this to protect her. He can’t forget that. He was doing this to protect the girl he loved and the friends that meant everything to him. He was doing this for Ann… and Ryuji, and Yusuke, and Makoto and Futaba and Haru. He can’t lose sight of that now.
With that in mind, regardless of how much fear and panic burdened the heart, he could do absolutely anything.
He could do this.
So he bent forward and let his lips press against her temple.
“Merry Christmas, Ann. I’m…”
His voice cracked as he tried to keep his breathing steady.
“I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Someday.”
The girl did not stir.
* * *
Katsumi wasn’t expecting to see Sojiro when he walked down Leblanc’s staircase. He usually didn’t come in for another hour. But there he was, standing in front of the counter rather than behind it. The boy quickly realized he was waiting for him.
“Hey, kid.”
Sojiro waited for a response, but Katsumi remained quiet.
“Not fully awake yet? I get it.” The man scratched the back of his head as he bore the deafening silence. “...So, um...Sae Niijima called me last night—”
“So I don’t need to explain it, do I?”
“...No. She was pretty clear that this is the only real option. I tried to talk her out of it but she wasn’t having any of it.”
Katsumi looked to the floorboards, following the trail of wood grain with his eyes.
“...I figured I should at least see you off. Er… do you need a ride?”
“No. I… I need you to stay here. Ann… she’s sleeping upstairs. I… I didn’t tell her about… about what I have to do.”
“...That’s not fair to her, kid. To leave without telling her.”
“I know. But I don’t… I don’t think I could say it. I can’t. It’s messed up, I know.” Katsumi bit his thumb. “I’m horrible.”
“No. You’re not horrible.” Sojiro spoke firmly.
“I am.”
“You’re not.”
“I am!” Katsumi cried out. “I don’t even want to do this! I know I have to, and I’m going to, but I don’t want to!”
“Who in their right mind would want to turn themselves in?” Sojiro approached the boy, speaking in a low tone. “Katsumi. In your shoes, I’d be absolutely scared shitless. Especially after all that’s happened—”
“I am scared shitless! I don’t want to go! I really don’t! But I’m supposed to protect everyone else! I’m supposed to— I’m supposed to— I should want to do this for everyone! I should— I’m supposed to—” Katsumi broke down into tears. “But I don’t want to go! I don’t!”
At this point, words were useless to Sojiro. Nothing he could say would calm Katsumi down. That left him with one real option, a last resort— he stepped forward and hugged the boy. Katsumi sobbed into his shoulder.
“I don’t want to go! Sojiro... I don’t want to go…”
“I know, kid. I know.”
* * *
This wasn’t supposed to happen.
The now-disbanded Phantom Thieves were all gathered in Cafe Leblanc… minus their leader. Futaba was beyond consolation. Ryuji kept punching his chair in frustration. Makoto held her head in her hands. Haru laid her head on the table. Yusuke wouldn’t sit down, no matter how often he was told to so that he would stop pacing.
And Ann.
She almost got lost in the same trap. Almost. But when she looked around to see her friends all hanging their heads, sitting around like there was nothing they could do, a fire ignited in her heart.
“Hey!”
She stood and slammed her palms down onto the table. All eyes were on her.
“Morgana would be ashamed of us, sitting around moping like this! I don’t know what we should do, either. But if we all keep sitting here like we’ve already lost, then we’ll never save Katsumi!”