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Chapter Text

Kaeya remembers very little of his birth mother. He was five, maybe six, when she vanished, and none of his memories at that age are very clear. Though there are things he does remember... For example, even if she seemed to tower over him, she was much smaller than the other adults she spent time with. Her skin was like his, or maybe a little darker, and they had the same eyes. Her hair was a blue so deep that it was almost black, and she had tiny nubs of horns that just peeked out of it. She gave him child-sized weapons, and she was his first teacher. The sword had become his favorite, but he'd tried out a polearm, too, and even a bow in the days before his eye went blind.

What Kaeya remembers the most clearly about her, though, is that one day, he woke up, and she had vanished. His birth father was furious, then distraught. The entire city was searched. She had taken several things with her, and he thinks at least one of them had been an important family heirloom. The only thing that he can actually recall going missing, though, was one of his own things: a wooden bird, painted blue.

She would have known his constellation. Perhaps she wanted something to remember him by.

But that's all. Kaeya's early childhood memories are mostly shaped by his birth father, who only got more imposing after the only person who could check him was gone.

No sneaking off to see your sisters. Correct your posture. You're emphasizing the wrong syllable. You're old enough to hit harder than that. You should be strong enough to block that forceful a strike. Kneel and recite your vows again.

You are our last hope. It should have been one of your sisters, but you're all we have. Be better. Be stronger. Be faster. You are all that our people have.

Remember what I told you to say.

Kaeya cannot imagine a reason to forgive his birth mother for leaving without taking him with her. Even less so, if she was alive the entire time and never even reached out to him.

But he wants her to explain it to him, anyway. He wants to hear from her mouth what was more important than her children. Even though he already knows it won't make him happy, he wants to know.

Kaeya makes the preparations quietly. He packs a bag with ration bars, dried fish, two canteens, and a few changes of clothes while Lumine and Paimon are having a check-up at the Church. Klee causes another incident the next day, and Kaeya takes the opportunity to slip into Jean's office and remove himself from the duty rosters for the next week. It's probably more time than he'll need, but better to be safe. The next morning, he dresses for work, eats breakfast with Paimon and Lumine, and simply walks out the city gates instead of climbing the hills--with a brief note left on his bed for when they figure out something is wrong.

Lumine will be upset, but he's just... not ready to tell anyone. Not about this.

At any rate, the other Knights assume he's on business. He gives them no reason to think otherwise, stopping to chat about local hilichurl encampments and hazards on the road.

It all goes well up until he hits the fork in the road just past the bridge...

Where he spots Diluc, and Paimon... sitting at that Adventurer camp. Watching him.

At least none of the Adventurers are with them. Lynn, the woman who maintains the camp, usually goes out foraging early on summer mornings, before it can get too hot, and no one else is there.

"Good morning," Diluc says as Kaeya approaches. He rarely looks truly happy these days, but he's definitely not happy now. "Paimon was just telling me you were going to be out of town for awhile."

Paimon waves what is almost certainly the note that Kaeya had carefully prepared at him. "But you didn't tell Lumine or Paimon where you were going or when you'd be back!" she says sternly.

"I assume that it simply slipped your mind," Diluc says. "After all, you must have been in quite the rush if you didn't have the time to tell anyone in person before leaving town." Oh, he's mad. He's definitely mad.

"It's extremely urgent, yes," Kaeya says. "So I really must be on my way." He's not exactly lying. Alice claimed that his birth mother would be at Musk Reef, but it's impossible to know how long she's staying there.

Paimon glances at Kaeya, then at Diluc, hands on her hips. "By yourself?" she asks.

"Of course not," Diluc says, with a quick look over at Paimon. He smiles at Kaeya like a shark. "That would be foolish. I'll accompany him to meet the rest of his party." It is very clear that Diluc thinks no such party exists.

Kaeya almost groans. "I'm quite capable of making the rendezvous myself," he says.

"You were shot by a poisoned crossbow bolt and almost died!" Paimon shouts. "Maybe you should be a little more concerned?"

Kaeya sighs. "All right," he says. It will be easier to get rid of Diluc without Paimon around winding all of them up. "If you have nothing better to do."

"My schedule is very clear this week," Diluc says.

Kaeya does not sigh again. He does not ask what exactly Diluc knows, because it's clear enough that his brother knows a lot. Instead, he says, "All right, then."

"And when will you be back?" Paimon asks, arms crossed.

"Hopefully in four or five days, though it may take as long as a week," Kaeya says.

"You should've at least said bye," Paimon says. She flies over and flicks him on the forehead. "Paimon will tell Lumine. But you'd better tell her you're sorry!"

"I will," Kaeya says. "Don't worry. I will."

"Okay," Paimon says, a little suspicious. But she still flies back into town.

Kaeya's shoulders relax. "So-"

"You're not out of trouble," Diluc says, gesturing toward the road.

Kaeya steps down to the road, leading them to the fork in the road, then guiding them South toward Springvale. "I'm not?" he asks, in the most innocent voice he can muster.

"You know," Diluc says, very casual, following. "Jean noticed that you changed the rosters yesterday, before the end of the work day. She came to the tavern yesterday evening to ask me if I knew anything." He pauses, probably for emphasis. "And then this morning, when I was about to go check on you, Paimon found me, with the most interesting note."

"I left the house less than fifteen minutes ago," Kaeya groans.

"She says you've been acting strange for days," Diluc says. "And apparently, Lumine noticed you took a bag with you. So Paimon decided to check your bedroom for 'evidence' and lo and behold, she found something."

Kaeya sighs.

"Did you really think we would be all right with you running off on your own to parts unknown without explaining anything?" Diluc asks.

"No," Kaeya says. "I'm not stupid."

"Then what were you thinking?" Diluc presses.

Instead of trying to answer, Kaeya pulls the note from Alice out of his pocket and hands it to Diluc.

Diluc sighs. "And you believe Alice?" he asks.

"Yes," Kaeya says. "And even if I didn't, I would go anyway."

Diluc sighs. "Well, I didn't have much time to prepare, but I've got hardtack and a canteen," he says.

"Diluc-"

"Even if I was sure she wasn't going to try to kill you--which I am not--I wouldn't let you do this alone," Diluc says. "I'll admit that I'm not- good, at this sort of thing, and it would be better if Lumine could go, but if she can't then-"

"Diluc," Kaeya says, and his voice shakes on it.

Diluc looks at him.

"Even before- before everything, you didn't like it when I talked about my birth family," Kaeya says, slowly. "You- hated them even more than I did. And that was before you knew... who I was."

"And if even half of what you told me is true, I'm not exactly excited about meeting her," Diluc says. "But you shouldn't do this alone, and you don't have to."

Kaeya is in a swirl of emotions, too messy to identify, and suddenly walking and breathing at the same time is too challenging to add conversation to the mix...

"Kae?" Diluc asks.

"You really... don't hate me," Kaeya hears himself say.

Diluc makes a soft little noise almost like a whimper. There's no time to ask about it, though, before Diluc has pulled Kaeya into a tight hug, practically knocking the wind out of him.

Kaeya is too stunned to move, for a second. His entire body is trembling-

And Diluc pulls away. "I'm sorry," he mumbles, staring at the ground. "I- shouldn't do that."

"No, it's-"

Diluc shakes his head. "I'm tired of hurting you," he says, with a tired expression. "It's- If you really don't want me here, I'll go home. I don't think it's a good idea for you to go alone, but it doesn't have to be me-"

Kaeya steps forward and lets his head drop onto Diluc's shoulder. "You just surprised me," he says.

Hesitantly, moving achingly slowly, Diluc pulls his arms around Kaeya again. This time, Kaeya's not caught off guard, and he can return the hug.

"Is it all right if I come with you?" Diluc asks.

Kaeya tightens his hug just a little. "Yes. But let's get you something to eat other than hardtack first."

---

They go a little out of their way, making a brief stop in Springvale to buy some supplies for Diluc, because Kaeya doesn't particularly want to go back into town. Kaeya makes sure that Diluc has a wind glider with him, as well as plenty of water and some decent food. Then they double back a little to take the road through Dadaupa Gorge.

The road is empty, apart from the two of them. Some people use it to take carts or wagons to the base camp at the foot of Dragonspine, but even that traffic is rare, and after passing that fork, there's no human presence but the two of them. Plenty of hilichurl structures dot the landscape, but a squad, probably Eula's, has been through fairly recently. There are no actual hilichurls on the road.

They don't speak much, but it's an easy, relaxed quiet.

Kaeya missed that, too.

They pass by the pond to the little camp that sits to its east. It's not well maintained, but it's only the work of a few minutes before it's good enough to use for a night.

"Don't light a fire," Kaeya cautions Diluc. "There are huge hilichurl camps all around here. We haven't been able to keep the area fully cleared since the expedition started. And besides, it's too hot."

"Says the Cryo user," Diluc says, but he doesn't try to ignite the pile of half-rotten logs sitting in a bare patch of dirt, so that's enough. "And you were really going to try to camp here alone?"

"I'm very quiet when I want to be," Kaeya replies.

Actually, he hadn't been planning on stopping for another few miles, but he can see Diluc's face starting to drip with sweat. There's no need for another heatstroke incident.

Diluc sighs, though. "You can be terribly reckless," he says.

"So can you," Kaeya says.

"Not so much anymore," Diluc says. He takes a seat on a log and rubs at his arm through his shirt.

"Scars bothering you?" Kaeya asks.

Diluc startles. "A little," he admits. "The healers gave me a cream to help keep the skin supple, but while we were at the Archipelago I... wasn't very good at keeping up with it."

"You mean this stuff?" Kaeya lifts a tin out of his pack. "Reeks of camphor and cinnamon? Has calendula flowers in it, and the healers swear they can smell it, but you never can?"

Diluc accepts the tin. "Sometimes I think I can smell the calendula," he says. "But most of the time I think I'm deluding myself." He rolls his sleeve back.

Kaeya does not give in to his instinctive reaction, which is to immediately look at anything else. "Use as much as you need," he says. "I have plenty more at home."

"Mm," Diluc says, pulling off a glove and checking inside the tin. The camphor scent wafts through the air around them. "If I do this properly, I may well use all of this up."

Diluc's scarring is... extensive. Kaeya hadn't exactly forgotten, but he hadn't thought through the practical details. "We'll probably be fighting slimes and hilichurls tomorrow, and we'll be using our wind gliders for awhile," he says. "You'll need to be able to move. Do it properly."

Diluc sighs. "That's not- exactly a concern-"

"Luc," Kaeya says.

"All right," Diluc says softly. "Don't... don't look at me."

Kaeya turns away, sitting on a tree stump. He hears Diluc taking articles of clothing off--probably all of them. It might be best for both of them to talk about something else. "I don't know what to expect when we find my birth mother," he says, looking out at the pond. "What I told you when we were kids was all true. She really did leave us when I was five. I don't even remember her face."

"Will you be able to recognize her?" Diluc asks. His fingernails scrape against the edge of the tin.

"She has horns," Kaeya says. "Tiny and round, at the crown of her head. Dark blue hair. Eyes... like mine. In Teyvat, it's not exactly a common look."

"And we're not expecting anyone else there?"

"We might see some members of the Adventurer's Guild," Kaeya says. "There's a Domain entrance there. At least ten floors deep and packed full of ancient loot, but with some tough monsters lurking within it. We'll be... borrowing one of their boats to get back."

"Borrowing," Diluc says dubiously. "And how do you know there will be an extra?"

"They plan for it," Kaeya says. "Keep extras in case an Adventurer takes the route we're taking, ends up there by accident, and gets stranded."

"By accident?" Diluc asks.

"You'll see," Kaeya replies.

Eventually Diluc finishes and dresses again. They eat ration bars and some sunsettias they picked along the way for dinner, and set out sleeping bags as the sun sets.

"Get some rest," Kaeya says. "Tomorrow's going to be a rough day."

"You too," Diluc says, laying on top of his sleeping bag. It's something he did when they were younger, both in the Knights together. If things are the same as they were five or so years ago, he'll wake up shivering in an hour, dive inside, and complain in the morning.

Kaeya smiles. "Good night."

"Night, Kae," Diluc murmurs.

Chapter Text

The hilichurls pose a problem.

It's not that they're going to be much of a threat in themselves. Alone, Kaeya could take them easily.

The problem is that Diluc is there, and the moment that he materializes his claymore, Kaeya feels his heart rate double.

It's fine, because it needs to be fine. Anything else is unacceptable. So Kaeya draws his own weapon, ignoring the building tension in his chest, and moves.

The fight is sloppy. Kaeya hates having Diluc's claymore within his range of vision because he remembers, oh, he remembers. But it's just as bad not being able to see it, not being completely sure of where it is. He uses far too much Cryo, because the chill of it reminds him that they're an even match now. By the time all of the hilichurls are gone, he's a little lightheaded with exertion.

He turns to look at Diluc. "Do you need a break?" Kaeya asks, struggling to control his breathing. "It's pretty hot..."

Diluc hesitates for a moment before he meets Kaeya's eyes. "Yeah," he says, finally. "Just a couple minutes in the shade."

Kaeya is almost overwhelmed with relief. "Over there?" he asks, pointing toward the nearest tree.

Diluc nods, and they walk over together. "I'm not all that familiar with the area," he admits, sitting down and leaning against the trunk. "How much further?"

Kaeya sits down against the tree as well, his back to Diluc, so that nothing will show on his face. "Once we get going again, we'll probably make it in an hour," he replies. "Unless we meet another squad of hilichurls."

"Ah," Diluc says. He's quiet for a few moments. "If we do, and there aren't many, maybe you should take them alone," he says. "I'm... still learning my limits when it comes to heat, and it would be best to get there as soon as possible."

This line of thinking is... plausible. Noon is drawing close, and it's probably true that he should be careful about using his Pyro during the hottest part of the day. But... he's not the type to sit out a fight, no matter how trivial. He never has been. Kaeya wonders exactly what he noticed, during that fight.

Kaeya doesn't question it aloud, either way. "That might be the safest bet," he says. "And at least one of us should be fresh when we arrive. I don't know what to expect."

"Do you really think she'll be hostile?" Diluc asks.

"I don't think so," Kaeya says, grateful that the topic change worked. "I don't know why she would be, if she's really opposed to my birth father. But it can't be ruled out."

"Fair," Diluc says. He sighs. "You really should've been born a Ragnvindr."

"And get stuck with that hair?" Kaeya asks, finally relaxing. "It's probably visible from Celestia."

Diluc laughs softly. "Father told me that Mother had black hair," he says. "You might've inherited that instead."

"I like the blue," Kaeya says.

"It does suit you," Diluc replies. "Are you ready to get going?"

"Are you?" Kaeya asks.

"I'm all right," Diluc says.

"Then let's go," Kaeya replies.

---

They run into a few Electro slimes along the way to their destination. Kaeya dispatches them with ease and no assistance. Diluc looks supremely uncomfortable for the first moment after the fight is over, but doesn't say anything. Kaeya decides not to push his luck by asking what the issue is.

"Wind gliders," Kaeya says, stretching. "This is going to be less than a minute, but it's a rough flight, and we can't see the other side from here."

"Where are we going?" Diluc asks.

Kaeya smirks, and points straight up at the orb, glowing blue around a deep black core. He's gratified to see Diluc's mouth drop open for just a second.

"That... looks unsafe," Diluc remarks.

"Make sure you have a good grip," Kaeya replies. He tugs at his gloves a little, just to be sure. "Ready?"

Diluc sighs and adjusts the straps on his wind glider. "I'm not entirely clear why we couldn't take a boat."

"Did you want to explain where we were going?" Kaeya asks mildly.

"Won't we have to do that on the way back, anyway?" Diluc asks.

"No," Kaeya says, smiling. He stretches out his arms one more time. "Come on. We took worse risks when we were pre-teens."

"We did," Diluc says, a little distant. "Let's go, then."

They unfurl their wind gliders and leap into the updraft. It shoves them into the air, and it takes no more than a slight lean to shift them straight into the orb.

They fly through a tunnel smeared with the colors of the night sky--a turbulent little jaunt that Kaeya knows cuts just into the border of the Abyss. But then, before even thirty seconds have passed, the bright blue summer sky surrounds them again as they fall a few feet onto green grass.

"This is Musk Reef," Kaeya says, closing his glider.

"I see," Diluc replies. "Not much ground to cover, at least."

Kaeya had expected to be nervous, but he feels a strange calm instead. Either she'll be here, or she won't. He studies their environment: grass growing on stone, sand and water...

"You must be a Ragnvindr," a voice says in plain Mondstadian. Feminine, self-sure, relaxed.

Kaeya tracks the sound up a nearby rock to see a woman there. She has Kaeya's skin. He can't see her eyes from this distance, and she's wearing a cloak with a hood--in this weather!--that covers her hair, and anything that might be nestled in it. She's... so small. If she's taller than Lumine, it's not by much.

"And you..." She hesitates a moment. She frowns. The silence stretches further.

"Kaeya Alberich, at your service," Kaeya says.

The woman pushes her hood back, revealing hair that looks black but glints blue where the sunlight touches it. Little white nubs of horns just manage to poke through the layer of hair. She takes an audible breath. "Kaeya," she says, with something almost like reverence.

Diluc looks between Kaeya and... and his birth mother.

"Well," the woman says. "I think I have enough porridge to feed three, if you'd like lunch."

"We have our own food," Diluc says. His tone isn't quite a growl, but it's close.

"Diluc," Kaeya scolds. "Be polite." The food is unlikely to be poisoned. She had no way of knowing she would have guests today, and in Khaenri'ah and the Abyss at large, food is too scarce to poison just in the hope that someone one didn't like would eat it. Or at least, that's how he remembers things. "We wouldn't want to impose on your food," he adds. "But we will eat with you."

He's still not nervous. He really did expect to be.

Diluc and Kaeya clamber up the side of the rock, and follow the woman a short distance. She's built a camp. A rope strung between two trees forms the support for the top of a very simple tent, with a tarp forming the body, held in place with stones. A pair of blankets and a rucksack sit inside the tent, within shelter. There's a clay cooking pot hanging on a tripod of sticks over a small fire. A rock is clearly being used as a table, with a sword and the materials for maintenance set out: a sharpening stone, a vial of oil, a block of wax.

"I was... not expecting guests," the woman says, clearing away the items on the stone. "Forgive my lack of manners."

Diluc glances at Kaeya again.

"I know who you are," Kaeya says.

The woman closes her eyes for a moment and nods. "I suppose you do," she says, then returns to moving the items away. "Do you have fresh water? It's a hot day."

"We have water," Diluc says, staring down at the stone.

"I want to know where you went, when you left Khaenri'ah," Kaeya says quietly. "And I want to know why."

"Yes," the woman says. "I would think you do." She ladles porridge into a bowl, then picks up a flask and carries it to the table. "Are you sure that you don't need anything?"

"Just talk to him," Diluc says, gritting his teeth.

"It's interesting that a Ragnvindr boy is so protective of my son," the woman says. "And by the sound of it, you know exactly who we are. Things must have become complicated in Mondstadt."

"You haven't been, then," Kaeya says.

"This is the furthest I've been from the Abyss in... a very long time," the woman says. She gestures toward the door to the Domain, a stone's throw away, then takes a sip of water. "I suppose Alice is the one who told you I would be here?"

Kaeya doesn't answer.

"Of course she was," the woman says. She sighs. "Go on, eat. I'll talk. I just need a moment. I don't even know where to start."

"What should we call you?" Diluc asks.

"These days I go by Skirk," she says.

It's vaguely familiar to Kaeya, but he can't place it. "Skirk, then," he says, feeling it out. He reaches into his bag and grabs a canteen.

"I wasn't sure that you were still alive," Skirk says. "Or that you'd be... yourself."

"Well, I am," Kaeya says. He's starting to feel the embers of things he's long repressed stirring in his chest. Anger, but also the ache of self-loathing that underlies it.

"I left you," Skirk says. She takes another drink. "That's what you're thinking. I knew you would hate me."

"Then why did you leave?" Kaeya asks. He's almost proud of how it comes out, even and calm, not plaintive.

"You were so young," Skirk says. "Five years old. So small." She sighs. "I never loved your father."

"Crepus Ragnvindr was my father," Kaeya says sharply, composure immediately wavering.

Skirk raises her eyebrows. "All right," she says. "I never loved Octavian, then. I think he may have loved me, in his way, but I never loved him. I imagine you were too young to see it. I was chosen for him, when I came of age, and I agreed for the good of Khaenri'ah and its people."

"Chosen?" Diluc asks.

"The people of Khaenri'ah have been changed by the Abyss," Skirk says. "But the extent of that change is variable. Some people's entire bodies shifted. Many lost their minds. But I was said to be blessed." She gestures at the crown of her head. "With a cloak, I can pass for fully human. Your father's claws were his only... defect. So we were wed to each other, in hopes of having a child like you. A child entirely unmarked, or at least none visible."

Kaeya swallows.

"You were the tenth to be born, and the third unmarked," Skirk says. "Your older sisters, the ones that were still living when you were born, came before you. Hyacinthe and Anemone were once to go to Mondstadt together. But... Octavian was too cruel with them. The Abyss may not have marked them, but he did. He realized what he had done too late."

"What... happened?" Diluc asks.

Kaeya thinks back to what he can remember, when he managed to sneak into their room to see them. How little they moved. How Anemone only sometimes recognized him, and how Hyacinthe's breathing never sounded quite right. "Leave it, Diluc," he says.

"So you were born," Skirk says. "And when you were unmarked, it was... a great relief. I don't know what Octavian would have done if you weren't." She drinks a little more. "I don't know what I would have done. In those days, I... I believed in the cause, if nothing else."

"What changed?" Kaeya asks.

"When the vision in your eye started to wane, your f- Octavian started talking about having another child," she says. "I told him that our people shouldn't have to wait even more time when you were perfectly suitable. He told me that the people were doing fine, and the Abyss Order wanted a perfect child. And after that I realized that our people have survived for five hundred years like this. The status quo could not destroy us, as hard as it tried. But a war very well might." She sighed. "I spent so much time having and losing children, and it was for nothing. Worse than nothing. So I left."

"You left us behind," Kaeya says. "You left me there for- for him to use to start a war."

Diluc shifts slightly closer to Kaeya.

"I did," Skirk says. "The three of you would have died. Your sisters were so fragile, and you were only five. I could not leave the Abyss through the usual means without being caught at the border. I hid in the outer reaches of the Abyss, in the places where even Khaenri'ah seemed safe, where no one would chase me. I hoped to find my own way into Teyvat." She sighs. "And I did a few months ago, for all the good it did." She gestures at the Domain again. "I thought I had more time. I didn't think Octavian intended to send you out at all, much less that he would do it when you were only nine."

Kaeya stares down at the stone they're using as a table.

"You left him alone with- with a monster," Diluc says.

"Diluc, don't," Kaeya says dully.

"You're her child," Diluc says. "She owes you more than that."

"Diluc," Kaeya says. "Stop." It comes out brittle and sharp, like broken glass. "You- don't get to talk about that." He's angry and he's hurt and he understands and he's so, so cold. "Excuse me for a moment." He takes his canteen and gets to his feet. He walks away as calmly as he can and hops down from the hill they were on to go and sit on the beach.

He's shaking.

He tries to take a drink from his canteen, but not a drop comes out. Surely he hasn't finished it all...

Oh. It's frozen over.

Kaeya sits down, closes his eyes, and counts out his breathing. In for five, hold for five, out for five. In for five...

A few minutes later, when he opens his eyes again, he sees Diluc sitting on the edge of the rock.

Kaeya rallies himself. He pastes a false smile onto his face. "I don't think I need to hear anything else from her," he says.

Diluc shoves himself down to ground level. He walks over quietly and places something into Kaeya's hand. "She said this is yours," he says.

A little wooden bird. The paint is chipped and faded, but a close inspection reveals that it's blue.

Kaeya draws in a deep, shuddering breath. "Why-" But he knows, now. And just as he'd thought, hearing it hasn't made it feel any better.

"I know it should be someone else here," Diluc murmurs, and then draws Kaeya into his arms.

Kaeya shudders. He leans into Diluc. He hurts.

"You're using your Vision," Diluc says softly.

Kaeya sinks into Diluc further and counts his breathing again. The air starts to heat around them. He hadn't really realized it had gone cold.

He takes a few more moments to breathe, then pulls away from Diluc, almost reluctant. "Let's... see if she has anything else to say."

"Are you sure?" Diluc asks.

"I'm sure," Kaeya replies.

But when they pop back up over the rock, she's gone. The rope is still strung between a pair of trees, but the tarp is gone, and the rocks that were weighing it into place are scattered on the ground. The campfire is still burning, and the pot of porridge has been abandoned over it. The rucksack and blankets are gone, the weapon and its maintenance items are gone, the bowl is gone.

On the stone they had sat around, there's one thing left: a ceremonial scepter. The rod is wooden, ornamented with bronze, with a silver orb fixed to the end. When Kaeya lifts it, it's strangely light. An energy he almost recognizes thrums through it.

He looks down at the stone again, and realizes something is written on it in chalk, or perhaps just scraped on with another rock. It's in Khaenri'an, and Kaeya is rusty, but he can read this easily:

I'm sorry.

Chapter Text

"We should go after her."

Kaeya says the words, but he doesn't even know he's going to say them until he does. On an emotional level, he's completely exhausted. The instincts that prop up his false persona, the caricature of himself that is far more competent and teasing and above all stable, are all that's keeping him moving.

"She's gone, Kaeya," Diluc says.

Kaeya gestures toward the Domain entrance. "It's not as if we don't know where," he points out, almost as if by rote. "Diluc, she didn't tell us anything useful. She didn't tell us what she's doing here, what- that man might be plotting, what this thing is-" He waves at the scepter. "If we hurry, we might catch up with her."

"In a Domain that you yourself told me was full of tough monsters, that she knows far better than we do," Diluc says. "And with a significant head start."

"That's why it needs to be now," Kaeya says. "If you don't want to come, then fine, but I'm going." He hops down from the rock into the sand. It's not a good jump--his lack of depth perception makes that hard enough, but even though his body has plenty of energy, he's just so tired. He hits the ground wrong and feels his ankle twist.

"Kaeya-" Diluc says.

"I'm fine," Kaeya says automatically, testing out the joint. He doesn't think it's actually sprained, though it is painful to put weight on it...

"You're not," Diluc says from behind him. Somehow he got down without making noise, or at least enough noise to make it obvious.

"Are you coming or not?" Kaeya snaps, pivoting to face Diluc on his good leg.

"Kaeya," Diluc says. He doesn't step any closer, but there's a faint tremble that says he's holding himself back, the way children do when told they have to stay still or the cat won't come up to them.

"I don't know how to contact her," Kaeya says. "I don't know- I don't know where she's going, I don't know why she left again, I don't know-"

"Kae," Diluc interrupts, so gentle it aches. "Please let me take a look at your ankle."

"It's just twisted," Kaeya says. He takes a shaky breath and steps toward Diluc, just once. "I don't... want her to get away..."

Diluc closes the distance slowly. "You're favoring it," he says. "Sit down, all right?"

"She's gone already," Kaeya says faintly.

"She is," Diluc replies, setting a hand on Kaeya's shoulder.

Kaeya sighs and sits down.

Diluc sits down across from him. He leans forward and starts untying Kaeya's boot.

Kaeya... doesn't stop him, even though he could easily do this himself. He's tired.

Diluc takes the boot off and manipulates the joint.

Kaeya hisses with pain, but it's not overwhelming.

"I think you're right, and it's just twisted," Diluc says. "But you should try not to push it too much."

Kaeya nods.

"You should eat something," Diluc continues.

"I'm... not hungry," Kaeya says.

"You should eat either way," Diluc says. "Here." He opens up his own pack and passes Kaeya a strip of jerky and a canteen.

Kaeya accepts the food. He mechanically bites into the jerky, though all he really tastes is salt. The water is colder than it really ought to be, and he realizes that he's using his Vision again. Conscious thought is all that it takes to stop this time, but it's... a little embarrassing that he's having so much trouble keeping control.

It's only after a few minutes have passed, absently nibbling at the jerky and sipping at the water, that Kaeya actually registers it. "You're not eating," he says.

Diluc huffs out a laugh, one that almost sounds relieved. "I suppose I'm not," he says, and takes out a strip of jerky for himself.

Despite starting much later, Diluc finishes eating quickly. He cautiously settles Kaeya's boot back onto his foot and ties the laces again.

"You don't have to do that," Kaeya murmurs.

"It's already done," Diluc replies.

Kaeya nods.

"You don't... have to talk about it," Diluc says softly. "But you can. If you want to."

Kaeya sighs. He doesn't know if he can put it into words. "She left, again," he says, finally. "We... barely spoke. I don't know what I did wrong."

Diluc sucks in a breath.

"Maybe it was that I got- upset, when she was talking about it," Kaeya says. "I knew it would have been better to let her keep talking..."

"Kae," Diluc says. "I don't think you did anything wrong."

"Then why did she leave?" Kaeya asks.

"I think..." Diluc sighs. "I think she saw that she was hurting you, and she didn't know how else to stop."

"But I- I didn't want her to leave," Kaeya says.

"I know," Diluc says. He scoots across the sand to sit next to Kaeya and rests a hand on top of his. "I know."

Something in Kaeya shivers and snaps. "I'm- really tired of people leaving me," he says, voice wavering.

Diluc wraps an arm around Kaeya's shoulders. They sit in silence like that for a moment, as Kaeya slowly leans in.

"I'm sorry," Diluc says. "I'm sorry I left you. But I- I did come back."

Kaeya thinks that for someone a little more sane than he is, those words might not be comforting. But... "You did," he mumbles. After years of wandering and another year of worse, Diluc had come back.

Diluc pulls Kaeya close, like when they were still children, and Kaeya realizes belatedly that he's crying, that he's been crying for awhile. He's shaking, too.

"Lumine would leave with Aether if he asked her to," Kaeya says. "And- and my birth father left me in the storm, and- Father-"

"Father didn't leave you," Diluc interrupts. "He was- was taken. He would never have- he was a good man, and he loved you so much."

"I'm sorry," Kaeya whispers, breath shuddering. He knows that for Diluc, this wound must still be very raw.

"It's okay," Diluc says. He rubs Kaeya's back. "And I'm- I'm not leaving again, okay?"

Kaeya doesn't think he'll ever be able to believe that, but he nods anyway.

"And I- I came back, Kaeya. And I'm here."

"You are," Kaeya says, and finally lets himself sob.

---

Kaeya cries himself out, and then he must fall asleep, because the next thing he's aware of is waking up in the shade. Diluc is looking out over the water silently, posture more Darknight Hero than Ragnvindr heir.

"I don't suppose that she came back while I was napping?" Kaeya asks.

"She didn't," Diluc says without moving. "How's your ankle?"

Kaeya moves his foot a little. "It's okay," he says. "I don't think my footwork's going to be any good, but it doesn't hurt so much."

"Good," Diluc says. He finally turns around, looking tired.

"This brooding thing is why all the girls in Mondstadt think you're pretty," Kaeya says.

Diluc laughs. "Not just the girls," he says. "At least it would be fewer of them if it was just the girls."

"You could just tell them you're off the market, you know," Kaeya replies.

"They just ask if I know when I'm going to be back on it, or complain about how I'm going to get too old to have babies," Diluc says.

"You're not even thirty," Kaeya says with a little disbelief. "Didn't your great-grandfather sire your grandfather when he was seventy-eight, anyway?"

"He did," Diluc says, "and that's disgusting and I don't want to talk about it."

Kaeya laughs. "All right, all right," he replies, stretching out his arms.

"It's only been an hour or so," Diluc says. "We might have time to take the boat... wherever it is you want to take it."

"Not keen on camping here?" Kaeya asks.

"I think I've had my fill of island life for the summer," Diluc says.

Kaeya laughs again, and considers the angle of the sun in the sky. "We could make it," he says. "We probably won't get home, but we'll at least make it to somewhere with nicer facilities." And without the traces of... Skirk... everywhere.

They board one of three Waveriders bobbing against the shoreline. Diluc insists on actually operating it. "I'm more familiar with this kind of equipment," he claims. "There were boats like this in Snezhnaya."

Kaeya doubts that--the waters immediately bordering Snezhnaya are iced over eleven out of twelve months of the year, so there's little reason to develop advanced boats--but it takes him more than a minute to realize that he should doubt it, and that's reason in itself not to be steering. He doesn't bring it up.

"I do need you to tell me our destination," Diluc says, eventually. "Obviously, it's to the west, but that only helps so much."

There's a map hanging on the wall, so Kaeya points it out. "There's a beach just north of Starsnatch Cliff," he says. "Pretty abandoned most of the time, because there's no dock, but a Waverider can handle that easily enough."

"How are the Adventurers going to get their boat back?" Diluc asks, turning the wheel.

"Mm, I'm sure someone will find it eventually," Kaeya replies.

Diluc sighs. "I am letting you get away with this because you have had a hard day," he announces.

For a moment, Kaeya feels like he's sixteen again, when Diluc would let him get away with anything if he pouted just right or made just the right joke. He basks in it.

---

The nice thing about the beach at Starfell Valley is that the cliffs of the Stormbearer Mountains block the sun from glaring straight into their eyes as it sets. Well, that and the privacy. Despite being scenic, and the beach itself being more suitable to land a boat, it's rarely used for anything. The path leading toward the City is rocky and marked by cliffs, impossible for a horse and cart. Most of the time, the only sailors who land here are smugglers with small, high-value items that they can carry by hand. Nothing else is worth it.

It's not going to be a fun walk home on a twisted ankle, but that's a problem for tomorrow's Kaeya.

Diluc parks the Waverider as close to the path as the little boat can get, and they walk onto the beach. There's a camp waiting for them, as Kaeya knew there would be. Lumine mentioned it once. She made friends with some pirates in Liyue, because of course she did. It's abandoned right now, though, so it's fine to commandeer the place.

"It should be pretty safe here," Kaeya says. "Nothing ever comes out here. We can even have a fire, if you like."

"Maybe later," Diluc says. "Let's eat."

It's not as... emotionally charged as what passed for lunch. They're going to be home tomorrow, too, so there's no need to worry about rationing out their food. Kaeya finds that he's hungry, which isn't really all that surprising, once he thinks about it.

When they go to sleep side-by-side under the lean-to attached to the cliffside, Kaeya's... almost in a good mood.

---

Kaeya wakes to the strange sense that something isn't right. Then he realizes that Diluc isn't in there with him.

"Diluc?" Kaeya calls, drowsy but concerned.

"Just- just a minute," Diluc replies. His voice is shaking.

"Diluc, what's wrong?" Kaeya asks, sitting up.

"Just a minute, Kaeya," Diluc repeats.

"You're worrying me," Kaeya says. He gets to his feet and turns.

Oh.

Diluc is facing away. He has his claymore out... and the flames coating his blade are more than enough to see with. His shirt is off. As Kaeya circles around, he can see the flat of the blade resting against Diluc's arm.

"Luc," Kaeya says, as gentle as he can. "You need to stop."

"It's not enough," Diluc says.

"You need to stop," Kaeya repeats. His heart is pounding hard. "Stop using your Vision, Luc."

"It's not enough," Diluc repeats, a sob catching in his throat.

"I'll take it from you if I have to," Kaeya says. "I don't want to, but I will."

Slowly, the flames flicker out.

Kaeya steps forward carefully. He reaches forward and takes Diluc's greatsword from his hand.

Diluc whimpers softly, but doesn't resist at all.

Kaeya places the weapon a safe distance away. "Sit down," he says.

Diluc nearly collapses to the ground. "I'm sorry," he mumbles. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I-"

"Shh," Kaeya says. He sits down next to Diluc and rests a hand on his back.

"I'm sorry," Diluc murmurs again. "I- You were- You had a long day."

"Shh," Kaeya soothes. "Relax. Breathe."

"I-"

"Relax," Kaeya says. "Nice and easy." He rubs Diluc's back, feeling his brother shake under his hand.

"It's not enough," Diluc repeats.

"What's not enough, Luc?" Kaeya asks.

"I left you, I-" Diluc's voice shakes. "Father. I can't remember- I know that I- I had to- but I don't remember- and I took him from you, I took him and then I left you and-"

"I forgive you," Kaeya says.

"I..." Diluc shivers. "That's... too easy. I should hurt. It's not enough. And- and Father isn't here to-"

"Luc," Kaeya interrupts. "Easy now. Easy."

Diluc responds by dropping his head onto Kaeya's shoulder, still trembling.

Kaeya waits patiently for Diluc to calm, for his breathing to even out. "Can I look at that burn?" he asks, several minutes later. "I think it would be good to clean it up."

Diluc nods against Kaeya's shoulder, without moving. There's the sound of something scraping against the sand, and then he puts a first aid kit into Kaeya's hands.

Well, all right.

Kaeya slips his Vision from its usual place on his belt and hangs it from his collar instead. He chills the air around them just enough for his Vision to glow. Pyro light would be brighter, but he's certainly not asking Diluc to use his Vision right now. Then he looks over the burn. It's a little hard to distinguish it from the scarring, but doable.

The burn is blistering, but not blackened--second degree, then. Nothing to panic over. Kaeya chills a hand, then, and rests it against the blisters for a moment, letting it cool. It's almost certainly intensely painful, but Diluc doesn't flinch or make a sound. The same silence continues when Kaeya opens the kit and uses the aqua vitae inside to clean the burns, and when he places a gauze pad on the burn and bandages it.

"I'm sorry," Diluc murmurs.

"Shh," Kaeya replies. The last thing that they need is Diluc getting worked up again. "We can talk about it in the morning, all right?"

Diluc nods.

"Come on," Kaeya says. "Let's get to sleep."

Kaeya leads Diluc back to the lean-to, settling him under a blanket. The shirt, the first-aid kit, the claymore--they're far enough up the beach that the tide won't reach them, so they can wait.

As tired as he is, though, Kaeya finds it impossible to sleep. The day has just been so much, and he worries that Diluc will go right back to... that, if he has the chance.

Instead, Kaeya spreads a blanket on the sand, outside the lean-to but close enough that he can see inside, and that Diluc would be able to see him if he woke. Then he stretches out and watches the stars.

Pavo Ocellus. Noctua and Viatrix. Trifolium, Leo Minor, Spinea Corona, Carmen Dei...

Kaeya has found more than he's lost. Sometimes it's hard to remember, but he knows.

Chapter Text

Fifteen minutes after sunrise, Kaeya hears Diluc start to stir. He listens for a moment without moving, to make sure his brother really is waking up, then relaxes his posture and closes his eyes, pretending to sleep.

Kaeya listens, and tracks Diluc's movements: down the beach to pick up everything discarded. The faint sound of a weapon being put away. Shaking the sand out of his shirt, as if that's going to help at all--Kaeya will offer to loan him one. Footsteps approaching over the sand. Combined with the shadow, Diluc must be right there...

"You're not asleep," Diluc says.

"Mm?" Kaeya asks, deliberately opening his eyes slowly.

"You could probably fool anyone else, but I- I had to wake you up on enough mornings that I can tell the difference," Diluc says, stumbling over the second half of the sentence.

"All right, all right," Kaeya says, slowly sitting up.

Diluc hasn't bothered to put his shirt back on. Kaeya supposes it makes sense. It's not as if there's much left to hide, and the sand would be abrasive against the scars.

"Do you want to borrow a shirt?" Kaeya asks, leaning over his bag. "I have a couple spares."

"That... would be nice," Diluc admits.

Kaeya grabs one at random--they're close enough to the same size that there's not much need to worry about it. "Here."

Diluc takes the shirt and starts to pull it on, avoiding rubbing the bandages. Now, when that arm brushes up against something, he flinches.

"So you do feel that," Kaeya says. "With how little you reacted last night, I was wondering."

Diluc stills. "Feeling it is... the point," he says softly. "It's... punishment. It wouldn't mean anything if it was numb."

Kaeya takes a deep breath. He's thought for hours about what he would say, but even now, he's not sure what the right words are. "Was that normal for you, then?"

"That was worse than usual," Diluc admits. "At least lately."

Kaeya nods. "Can you tell me why you did that?"

Diluc closes his eyes, and his body starts to tremble. "I..."

"Hey, hey," Kaeya says. "If you can't, that's okay." He scrambles up, wincing as his ankle protests at the sudden movement, and puts a hand on his brother's shoulder. "I'm not trying to make you upset."

"No, I... I want to be able to," Diluc says. "It's just... hard."

"Take your time," Kaeya says.

Diluc nods. "Sometimes when... when I feel guilty," he says, slowly. "Or just... not good. It's like... it's like something snaps, and I can't think about anything except... how I'm... not a good person. And the only way to make it stop is... to punish myself, until... it's enough."

"Luc," Kaeya says.

"I didn't want to do it while- while we were still- here, together, but... it was building all afternoon, and..."

"You could've woken me up," Kaeya says.

Diluc's expression, full of doubt, is heartbreaking. "I already hurt you enough."

"Do you think it doesn't hurt me to see you hurt yourself?" Kaeya asks. He almost wants to snatch the words out of the air as soon as they leave his mouth. That was... perhaps too far.

But then Diluc looks at him--looks confused. "I deserve it," he murmurs.

"No," Kaeya says. He makes sure that Diluc is looking at him. "No, you don't. You've paid enough, Luc. Far more than enough."

Diluc shakes. "Kaeya, I... I barely remember Father," he murmurs. "I remember talking to him, I remember what I said, but... I can't remember anything he said to me, or anything he did, or- not even his voice. It started fading while I was- wandering, and now, all I remember clearly is- is his body on the road, and the Delusion, and the storm..."

Kaeya pulls Diluc into a hug, hoping that he's not hitting any injuries he didn't catch last night. "That's not your fault," he says. "Sometimes-"

"I don't know... what I did," Diluc interrupts. "I don't know- when I've paid enough."

"It's enough," Kaeya says firmly. "It's enough, Luc."

Diluc shakes in Kaeya's grip. "You were alone," he murmurs.

"You came back," Kaeya says. "That's all I wanted." (This is only mostly true.) "I know I can only say so much about healthy ways to deal with trauma, Luc, but-"

"I'm not traumatized," Diluc says.

Kaeya pulls back enough to stare him down.

"I... just..." Diluc sighs and swears under his breath.

Kaeya can't help but huff a laugh. "It can be hard to admit," he says. Then he sobers a little. "Next time you start feeling like this, though. Come to me. No matter when, or what else is going on."

"Kae," Diluc says.

"I'm serious," Kaeya tells him.

"I..." Diluc takes a deep breath. "I'll try."

"All I ask." Kaeya smiles, trying for gentle. "But we should get some breakfast, and then get-" He steps backward, and his ankle twinges. He flinches again.

Diluc's expression morphs straight to concern. "That shouldn't be bothering you that much," he says. "Sit down. I'll check on it again."

Kaeya's ankle is a little swollen. Diluc tests the joint, which hurts more than it did the day before. "This might actually be a sprain after all. Are you going to be able to walk back on that?"

"I've pushed through worse," Kaeya says, false smile coming up easily.

Diluc scowls. "You were right," he says. "You really can't say all that much about healthy coping mechanisms." He shakes his head. "The Waverider's still here. We'll take it to the docks, where it's supposed to be anyway, and we'll charter a cart."

"What are we going to tell them about why we have it?" Kaeya asks.

"You're the expert schemer. You think of something."

Kaeya's surprised enough that Diluc didn't use the word "liar" that he doesn't actually remember to argue.

"Stay here," Diluc says. "I'll get out some breakfast."

---

"And tell Alfry thank you for permission to borrow the boat," Kaeya tells the Adventurer in uniform--Hadvar? Lorgar?--standing by the dock. "It was crucial for our investigation."

"Of course," comes the reply.

Diluc glances over at Kaeya, but it seems that he knows better than to argue with a cover story in progress. "Is your ankle all right?" he asks, instead of whatever question is on the tip of his tongue.

"It's not like it's broken," Kaeya says. He limps forward. "Come on, you're the one who wanted a cart."

It is a relief to get back off his feet, though. It's enough that he doesn't even argue when Diluc takes the reins, even though that wouldn't even involve using his ankle.

A mile or so out from the dock, Diluc asks, "Who's Alfry?"

Kaeya laughs. "She's in the Adventurers' Guild," he replies. "Works in Intelligence. Hates me with a passion."

"Why?" Diluc asks.

"Well, things like this might have something to do with it," Kaeya says.

Kaeya glances over at Diluc's face, watching his brother press his lips together- and then laugh. It feels like sitting in a happy memory, something that could have happened when they were teenagers.

"Kae," Diluc scolds without even a hint of heat behind it.

Kaeya laughs, relaxing into the mood. "She likes to pretend she knows everything that happens in Teyvat," he says. "I'm a problem in that respect. So every time she tries to dig up dirt on me..."

Diluc presses his lips together again, chest shaking with repressed laughter. "How many versions of the eyepatch story have you fed her?" he asks in a voice that, if it's aiming for deadpan, completely fails.

"Fourteen," Kaeya replies. "Made up most of them just for her."

Diluc shakes his head. This would be the point, a few years ago, when he would remark that things like this were going to get Kaeya in trouble one day, but he doesn't say it now. He simply gets his laughter under control again and relaxes. "It's a nice day," he says.

"It is," Kaeya replies.

---

"You're passing the turn to my house," Kaeya says with a sinking feeling.

"We're going to the Church to get your ankle looked at," Diluc informs him.

Kaeya frowns. "One condition," he says.

"What?" Diluc asks, with a sort of dread that suggests he already knows exactly what the answer's going to be.

"You let them check over your burn," Kaeya says.

Diluc is silent for a long moment.

"All right," he says, eventually.

Kaeya will take that as a victory.

---

Kaeya isn't sure whether Diluc is just refusing to talk about his talk with a healer or if he can't make himself do it, but he did go into an examination room and come out with a tube of ointment.

In the meantime, Kaeya's ankle is much improved. He's been cautioned to rest it for a few days, but he supposes that's fine. He did take himself off the rosters anyway.

"You're still limping," Diluc says, frowning.

"It's better," Kaeya says.

"Mm," Diluc says. "We'll take the cart back to your place. I have to get it back to the docks anyway."

"All right, worrywart," Kaeya says, shoving himself up into the seat.

It's not a long ride, and they're almost there before either of them speak up again.

"Thank you," Kaeya says. "For coming with me."

"Thank you for- well," Diluc says. "Just... thank you."

"I meant what I said," Kaeya says, then sighs as his house comes into view. "Paimon and Lumine are going to be so mad..."

"You could just tell Lumine," Diluc says. "You should."

"I..." Kaeya trails off.

"She might understand better than you think," Diluc says.

Kaeya looks at him sharply. "You haven't said-"

"I wouldn't," Diluc says. "But you should."

"Maybe," Kaeya says. "Thank you for bringing me home."

The cart comes to a stop, and Kaeya gets down--very carefully. Then Diluc pulls away. Kaeya doesn't wave, but he watches out of the corner of his good eye until his brother's completely out of sight. Only then does he unlock the door.

"Hello-"

"Quiet!" Paimon practically barrels into him, smacking a tiny hand over his mouth. "Lumine just fell asleep..."

Lumine is on the couch, Kaeya notices. She's on her back, with an open book resting on her chest. He frowns as she coughs softly without waking.

"Is she all right?" Kaeya asks in a low voice.

"She was worried," Paimon replies, which shouldn't be an answer, but is.

Kaeya walks over to the couch, making as little noise as he can--something made much harder when he still can't put his full weight on one leg. He rests a hand on her forehead. It's a little warm, in a way that could be the early stages of a fever but could also just be the summer heat.

But the touch makes Lumine stir. Her eyes open, and then she smiles. "Kaeya!"

"Paimon told you not to wake her up-"

"It's fine," Lumine says. "We- I wasn't expecting you today."

Kaeya considers his answer. "Some things didn't work out," he says. "But it's fine. I'm fine, and I'm sorry I didn't talk to you before I left."

"It's okay," Lumine says.

"Let me go put some things away," Kaeya says. "Did you have plans for dinner?"

"No," Lumine says. "We wanted to stay here."

"Then I'll cook something, as an apology," Kaeya says. "How does sticky honey roast sound?"

"Sticky honey roast!" Paimon practically shrieks.

Kaeya heads for the kitchen, moving slowly, knowing at least one of them will notice-

"You're limping," Lumine says. "Did you get hurt?" She coughs again.

"I landed on it wrong," Kaeya says. "I already saw a healer." He heads the rest of the way into the kitchen and starts unpacking his food supplies and rummaging through the icebox. "Oh," he says. "We're out of pork."

"But Paimon wanted sticky honey roast..."

"I can get it," Lumine says.

"No!" Paimon squeaks. "You're- you're all tired."

"But Kaeya's hurt," Lumine says.

"Then Paimon will have to go!" the fairy says.

Kaeya smiles. "If you want it that badly," he says. He examines the cabinets. "We'll need fresh carrots, too, and two oranges..." That will send Paimon to three different places collecting ingredients. "Can you remember all that?"

"How much pork?" Paimon asks.

"If we want leftovers... two pounds," Kaeya replies. He writes it out, then hands Paimon some mora. It's way too much, so she's likely to spend the rest of it buying a dessert or some other trivial purchase, buying him a little more time.

"Okay! Paimon will be right back!" She takes the slip of paper and vanishes.

Kaeya breathes out a sigh.

"Are you tired?" Lumine asks. "You can go upstairs and rest..."

Kaeya sits down on the couch. "I'm not that tired," he says. "It was just... a rough trip." He takes a deep, steadying breath. "I heard that my birth mother was seen somewhere, and I went to go see if it was true."

"Oh," Lumine says, sitting next to him. "Did you see her?"

"I did," Kaeya says. "For a little while. She... left quickly."

"I'm sorry," Lumine says.

It's quiet for long enough that Kaeya realizes that Lumine really isn't going to push, even now. As curious as she has to be, she's not going to press him for a single word more information than he wants to share.

He's not sure whether it makes this easier or harder.

"I was... born in Khaenri'ah," Kaeya says.

Lumine's head jerks up.

"I was raised to come to Mondstadt as a spy," he continues. "My birth father brought me to the Dawn Winery when I was nine, and left me there, knowing that Crepus Ragnvindr was a kind man and would take me in. I was to integrate myself into the household, and when the time came, betray them all. For Khaenri'ah."

"That's terrible," Lumine says, and Kaeya freezes for just a fraction of a second- and then her arms are around him, hugging him tight. "I'm sorry they treated you like that."

Kaeya stares at Lumine.

"It's cruel to- to give a job like that to a child," Lumine says.

Kaeya suddenly feels so, so cold.

Lumine's expression goes panicked. "Did I- I'm sorry, I shouldn't-"

Kaeya hugs her tight, feeling hot tears fall. "Thank you," he says, voice shaking. "No one's ever... said that to me before."

"Is this what you fought with Diluc about, when you got your Vision?" Lumine asks softly.

Kaeya nods into her shoulder.

"I'll beat him up for you," she says.

It's enough to draw out a wet laugh. "No, Lumine," Kaeya says.

"I will," Lumine says, with a sort of mock resolve. "If he's too stupid to understand how terrible that is, he deserves it."

"He really has gotten better," Kaeya says. "He told me to tell you, because he thought you'd understand, and you did..."

"Mm," Lumine hums, rubbing Kaeya's back. "He was stupid not to get it. But I guess it's only fair to let you beat him up first."

Kaeya laughs again. "I'm lucky you're on my side."

"I'm your little sister," Lumine says. "Of course I'm on your side."

Kaeya takes a deep, shuddering breath. "Oh," he says.

Lumine squeezes him tight.

"I want to tell you everything," Kaeya murmurs, far beyond surprised to find it's the truth.