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Dream downloaded it as a joke, really. He didn't have anything to confess, he didn't think, but sometimes it's fun to see what other people have going on in their lives that they deem important. Some of the confessions were pretty mundane, like admitting to using their roommate's toothbrush or how they cheated on that one test. Others a little more intense - Dream was pretty sure he'd near enough seen a murder confession somewhere, but there's no way that was real. Right? Anyway, the point is he never really intended to use it personally, until they introduced the messaging feature. A little like Tinder but far more interesting, it matched you with an entirely random person that you could essentially just spill your life story to with the intention of it being a zero judgement zone. Plus it was totally anonymous so even if they thought you were totally insane, what did it matter?
One night, Dream lay tangled up in his bedsheets listening to the hammering of the rain against his window. It calmed him. And lord knows he needed the peace, after the discord call he'd just had with George. Something about the lazy haze of June evenings made bad decisions seem a little less bad and the line between joke flirting and actual flirting a little blurrier, and before Dream knew it he found himself stumbling over words he normally slid out with ease. His laughs came a little easier and his tone grew a little fonder. He was too caught up in himself to notice the reflections in George's tone - the teasing giggles, the lower pitch as he muttered responses with a gentle blush growing across his cheeks. Now as the heat of the moment died down and the night's cool breeze swept through his room, Dream found himself overthinking everything he'd done. There wasn't a chance that George felt the same way as him so he let these feelings sit inside him, festering and growing with no way to escape. Except there was now. Dream slides open his phone and almost without thinking taps the confession app and heads to the messaging section.
'theme of confession?' the app asks, blinding Dream in the darkness of his room. He thinks for a second before scrolling through the options and tapping 'impossible love'. Because that's what it was, right? There's no way the two of them could ever be together. Put aside the fact George probably wasn't even into him like that, he didn't want to ruin years of friendship - especially not publicly. What would happen to their streams? And youtube? Would Sapnap feel forced to pick between the two? There were too many what ifs and chances for everything to come crashing down around them for Dream to ever risk it. He clicked confirm and waited to be matched.
Oceans away, George was watching the sun rise over the London skyline. He'd told himself he was going to stop being so nocturnal, he was going to get some sunlight and meet his friends and talk to his family. But then Dream called him just as he was getting ready for bed and the sound of his gentle 'are you going to bed?' was enough for him to say he wasn't tired and settle into his bed, ready to stay up for who knows how long and talk about who knows what. Tiredness wrapped around him, cradling him gently and pushing him to say the things that ordinarily he'd filter out for toeing too close to the line he seemed to have drawn around himself, the barrier he'd built. Because there was no chance he could ever act on how he felt, right? They'd been friends for too long to dare push beyond what they have, and besides, what if Dream didn't feel the same and then they had this between them in every stream, every video, every interaction. Chat picked up on the smallest things as it was, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to handle being reminded of what he'd tried for every time he checked twitter. He opens up his phone and swipes across to the confession app that Dream had mentioned in passing that night. It couldn't hurt to take a look, right? It's like a diary, except it can talk back.
'theme of confession?' the app asks. George scrolls through the options, humming. Unrequited crush? He supposed so, but the word crush felt inadequate. He read through everything again. Impossible love. Impossible. The weight of that word was heavy enough to draw George's thumb to the confirm button. Almost instantly, a match popped up. It was nice to not feel so alone.
'hi' he types.
...
'hey'
'this is my first time messaging here, do we just go right into it or?'
'mine too. i suppose so. you first?'
'um. okay, give me a minute'.
George takes a deep breath. He's never really told anybody else how he feels, because who could he tell? He's not quite sure how to word it properly so everything just tumbles out of him in one long ramble.
'so basically my best friend, i've known him like five years, and i'm.. well totally in love with him. but there's no way he feels the same. i don't think. and i can never even tell him just to have it said, you know, because what if everything changes between the two of us? our other friend would be totally weirded out, and also we kind of work together and i just don't think the dynamic would be the same. uh i didn't mean to type that much but.. that's pretty much it.'
...
no response. Did George totally fuck it up? He told too much too soon and now he's scared the other person away. He slides down the wall, head resting against the window. Suddenly a ding.
'this is so weird, we might just be the same person. I met this guy about five years ago and we've become friends and started working together and I'm realising a little too late just how totally head over heels in love with him I am. We kind of work for ourselves too so.. what would happen if he didn't feel the same? I'd have to change job or something and I actually am not sure I could do that.'
Oh.
He hadn't expected this app to actually help him.
—
Hours slipped by as the two typed back and forth, exchanging stories and finding solace in their screens. The feeling of sharing stories over text was so familiar to Dream he almost found himself forgetting this was a random stranger; he'd subconsciously tied this person to George, hearing his voice in the texts. Maybe it was the way the stranger actually reminded him of how he got to know George - the late night texts, not knowing what the other looked like or sounded like. But it felt a little deeper than that, actually. Dream felt a little bit too much familiarity in the strangers stories - the way that he talked about his friends, his lifestyle, little habits he had. There was one story in particular that stood out to him - although the person on the other side of this screen was trying to keep details fairly vague for anonymity's sake, this story was a specific enough experience that it sparked something deep inside Dream.
"'Am I in Love With My Best Friend' test? Alright. Alright, I'm doing it. Am I in love with my best friend? Let's see, let's see. Do you have a special person in your life that you've always thought as a friend, but now things are changing? Okay, well.." Great, Dream thinks, the test hasn't even started and he's almost fucked up in front of an entire live audience. He takes a deep breath, hearing George giggling in the background. Stumbling through the questions, he tries his best not to let too much slip. Chat is observant at the best of times, and right now Dream felt like someone had ripped open his chest and was staring right into his soul. He tried to joke his way through the questions, deflecting his nerves into criticising the test.
"It says, you are in love with a few things about your best friend, so it's likely that you could fall entirely in love with them if you - if things keep up the way they are right now." Dream reads off the screen, his heart pounding out of his chest. He's certain the mic is picking this up.
"Wooow. If you keep this up." Dream isn't thinking straight any more. Well, he never was, but he stutters his way through the end of the quiz's summary and tries to change the subject. The results entirely overwhelm him though, and he quickly ends the merch discord call, claiming he's got to go but he'll probably be back at some point soon. What the fuck just happened? Did George seem to be enjoying the results, or was he just seeing what he wanted to see?
'so.. what does that mean? he was doing it as a joke, right?' Dream is pulled out of the memory by another message flashing up on the screen. He considers briefly before typing:
'honestly, it sounds like he was looking for an excuse to talk about how he feels about you and your relationship'. Surely this couldn't be..
'do you think so? he usually pushes this stuff pretty far so i can't even tell if that was unusual'
'yeah, i think so'. A pause. 'it sounds like he's been thinking more seriously about how he may or may not feel and wanted to test the waters a bit using the test as a front'. Dream lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. 'or something like that, i dunno, i'm not him'
is he?
'hmm i dunno, i think you're just telling me what i want to hear. i'd ask if you have any similar stories but i think that's a pretty unique scenario, right?' Yeah, you could say that.
'you'd be surprised, actually'
Dream swipes away from the app and moves over to his contacts, thumb hovering over George's contact. This could be the worst idea he's ever had, but something about the lack of sleep blurred the sharp edges a little.
He hits dial.
—
'you'd be surprised, actually'. George stares at this message, unsure how to react. He'd had a growing sense of familiarity as he'd spent the morning messaging this person - a reassuring comfort in the way they typed, the style of story telling. But this felt too eerie - how many people take an 'are you in love with your best friend' quiz while in a discord call with said person? Even if it's a coincidence, it feels a little like the universe telling him to at least try calling Dream and trying to talk, right? He opens up their text conversation and taps the contact picture at the top - a secret screenshot he took on one of their rare facetime calls. Dream was grinning dopily in it, cradling patches in his arms. The sight of that gave George the final push of courage he needed to call.
The phone rang once, twice, three times. He reached voicemail and briefly considered hanging up, but he'd come too far to chicken out now. He heard the beep.
'hey, Dream. uh I don't really know why I called,' he chuckled slightly, 'but um. I've been thinking. Rare, I know. Ha. Um, yeah, I was thinking just about.. stuff and I just wanted to talk. About my. My thoughts. Call me back when you wake up. Oh, you're probably asleep. Of course. Sleep well. Call me when you wake up. Bye.' George slides down the wall, dropping his phone on the floor beside him. That could've gone better.
—
'- just wanted to talk really. I know we did a few hours ago but I couldn't sleep and I kind of wanted to say something. Need to, I guess. I don't know what you're doing now but, call me back whenever you hear this. Thanks. Bye!' Dream sends the voicemail through sighing. He goes to read through his messages with George when he gets a text - he has a voicemail. Who's calling him at this hour? Calling the voicemail number, he slides down in his bed - he might as well try and get some sleep now if George is busy. But he bolts upright when he hears the voice greeting him and he's barely finished the voicemail before he's calling George back.
"please pick up, please pick up..." he mutters under his breath. Surely this wasn't happening?
"Dream?" he hears in his ear, George's voice low.
"George," Dream sighs. "Hi."
"Hi.."
"Um. Did you hear my voicemail?"
"You left a voicemail? So did I!! Wait, were you calling me? Is that why it didn't go through?"
"Yeah, I did. And I heard yours, so yeah, we must've. I was just saying that I wanted to - needed to - tell you something."
"I wanted to talk to you too."
"First can I ask you - did you download that confessions app I was talking about?"
"Um.. yeah." George seems embarrassed, chuckling at himself as he says it. "I actually had a really great talk with someone on there. It made me realise a lot.. that's why I was calling"
"You uh.. you talked to them about that quiz I took the other day right? In the merch discord? The best friend one?"
"I- yeah I- how did you know that?"
he couldn't bring himself to talk.
"Dream?"
"I think I got matched with you on there, George. The similarities... group of three friends, all work together, kind of 'complicated' to explain the job?" Silence on the other end of the line. "George?"
"Dre- so that- hang on. Hang on. That was definitely you? Like actually? I was thinking you seemed familiar but I didn't.. didn't think that.. Did you mean everything you said?"
"I did."
"So the reasoning you gave for that quiz?"
"It wasn't just weirdly good advice, George. I mean, it was good advice, but I did kind of have insider info there."
"Huh."
They sit comfortably in silence, neither one quite sure what they're going to do but somehow they're okay with that.
"So.. where do we start?" George asks, voice warm. Dream can hear his smile through it.
"I think we have to actually say the words out loud, first of all."
"What do you mean?"
"I love you, George. Like.. more than I thought was possible."
A beat.
"I'm utterly in love with you too, Dream."