Archive of Our Own

Takemichi decides that the best way to save Mikey in the future is to stay in the past until ten years pass by. There’s no other way. No matter how many times he’s tried to save Mikey, his future still doesn’t include Mikey.

Fate is cruel and Takemichi will fight it even if it takes his whole life.

The warmth of Mikey’s hand in his is gone. He wakes up in the same playground that he and Chifuyu hangs out a lot on. Albeit slightly disoriented, he starts to speak.

“I’m going to stay here, Chifuyu,” Takemichi states resolutely.

Beside him, Chifuyu pauses from pushing himself on the swing. “You’re back.” He looks taken aback for a moment, but it doesn’t take long until he goes normal again, swinging on the swing set nonchalantly.

It’s amazing how quickly Chifuyu tells apart the original and future Takemichi. He only said one sentence and Chifuyu immediately recognizes him. He couldn’t help but smile, feeling like he belongs there.

Maybe he does belong there after all.

“And I won’t leave again.” With a deep breath, Takemichi heaves himself up from the swing set to stretch his hands up in the air as the whole day’s fatigue kicks in.

Chifuyu hums in acknowledgement. “What changed?”

Without saying anything, Takemichi stares down at his friend with determined eyes. The view of those blue, resolute pair of eyes is too familiar for him not to recognize. As soon as their eyes meet, Chifuyu sighs.

“Never mind. It’s Mikey again,” he says with slight exasperation in his voice.

“Yeah.”

“Why stay?”

Takemichi looks up to the orange sky, feeling a breeze of air brush through his hair. “I noticed that in every messed-up timeline, there’s one thing not included in the past.”

“Let me guess, it’s the current you?” There’s slight mocking in the way he asked, but Takemichi knows it’s harmless. “Sounds a bit narcissistic.” He chuckles.

“I mean, I don’t know whether it will work or not.” Takemichi reconsiders silently, weighing the possible consequences. “But this is the last thing that I haven’t tried.”

Despite that, Chifuyu still looks unsure. “Why do you insist on saving him so much?”

Without missing a beat, Takemichi answers almost instantly, “I want to be in the future where Mikey-kun is in it,” he pauses, “because everything feels incomplete without him.” He unconsciously softens his voice at the last sentence.

“Gross.” Chifuyu looks at him skeptically.

“It’s not like that!” He could feel his ears heat up, knowing what Chifuyu might be thinking. “It’s just that... you know.”

“You have everything you want in your current future.” All of a sudden, the playfulness in Chifuyu’s voice disappears. “You know you’re risking the future with Hina if you’re doing this, right?”

Takemichi flinches, his knees unexpectedly going weak. That’s right, he never considered this when he decided to stay in the past. This might change Mikey’s future, but this might also change his future with Hina.

The determination he had from earlier dissipates as quickly as it appeared. He sits back down and sets his eyes on the ground. Is saving Mikey worth losing Hina? Despite that, why does his chest hurt so much when he thinks about a future without Mikey in it?

His expression too, like Chifuyu, turns solemn. He can’t seem to find an answer to the question Chifuyu asked him. It’s shouldn’t be a difficult question. It’s obvious who he should prioritize his literal future wife over a friend, yet it doesn’t feel right. Leaving Mikey to be alone in the future doesn’t feel right at all.

Takemichi might need some time to redefine the meaning of his own happiness, because it appears to him now that Hina isn’t the only person to define the word.

“I knew it.” Chifuyu scoffs. “Being selfish is okay. Just go back.”

“I promised.” Takemichi insists, holding on to the idea that he might be able to have both Mikey and Hina in his future. “I want him to be happy too.”

With us. With me.

“Takemitchy, I’m saying this out of concern.” Chifuyu stands up to squat in front of Takemichi as an attempt to lock their gazes together. “I’m honestly happy to spend time with the current you, but this seems fruitless. How many attempts has it been, again? Five? Six?”

“Four,” with a pout, Takemichi mutters. “It’s only four times after Bonten.”

Four is still not a small number, considering that all the future turns out the same. “Four times.” Chifuyu nods. “I’m pretty sure Mikey appreciates that already.”

Still stubborn with his decision, Takemichi frowns. “This will work out...” he averts his eyes from Chifuyu’s. “Probably— no, definitely.”

Chifuyu already knows that Takemichi is stubborn, but to see him this stubborn? This is a first. He stands back up and grabs his bag.

“Let’s go home.”

Ever since Takemichi came back from the future, he’s been spending a lot of time with Mikey. He habitually tags along with Mikey and Draken whenever they hang out together, not caring whether he’s welcomed or not. Of course, he’s always welcomed. It’s probably just weird for both Draken and Mikey, since Takemichi’s rarely the one to reach out first.

The past Takemichi has always been... distant. Unreachable, as the people who knows about his time-leaping described. It’s like he’s there, but not quite, unlike the future Takemichi who feels more animated and alive. Takemichi is kind of confused whether he should be happy or offended when they said that they prefer the future Takemichi over his past self.

They both definitely has realized that the current Takemichi is the one from the future, despite not bringing the topic up. Of course they would notice. If anything, it would be weirder if they couldn’t tell the difference between future Takemichi and original Takemichi. Although Takemichi hasn’t seen the past him with his own to eyes, apparently, they both are very different despite being the same person.

It won’t be long until they ask him about it.

With that, a month passes.

Mikey often comes to Takemichi’s house on Saturdays. Specifically today, Mikey is curious about something, seeing from the way he’s been staring at Takemichi for too long. He rolls over to the edge of Takemichi’s bed to bring himself closer to Takemichi who’s sitting on the floor, busying himself with solving a puzzle.

“Why are you not going back, Takemitchy?”

About time he asks. Takemichi wonders what took him so long to bring it up. It took him a whole month to ask despite already knowing this whole time.

Said person looks up from his puzzle to return Mikey’s gaze on him. “You noticed?”

“It’s pretty obvious.” Mikey rests his head on his arm. “Answer my question,” he demands with a pout.

“No reason, I just wanna spend more time with you.” Takemichi answers with a little lie. “It’s way more fun here.” Just a little lie. It’s true that the past is far more relaxed compared to the future where he needs to work his ass off just to pay rent and food.

Not hiding his suspicions, Mikey raises a brow and asks again. “Why?

“Because I want to.” Takemichi switches his attention back to the puzzle pieces on the table, ignoring Mikey who’s starting to sulk.

The answer is obviously not satisfying to Mikey. “I’m gonna ruin my own future if you don’t answer truthfully.”

“What? Don’t do that!” He turns his head to face Mikey, thinking that he might be joking, but is met with a somber expression instead.

He inhales a deep breath and holds it inside, feeling that he might not get to do it again if he exhales too quick.

There is no humor in his voice. “Then answer me.”

Takemichi gulps down something invisible stuck inside of his throat, averting his eyes from Mikey’s dark ones. “I just thought that... maybe if I stay here—” He suddenly realizes how embarrassing it will sound if said out loud. “Maybe, I... we, maybe if I stay here...” he hides his completely red face inside of his palms, stuttering like a mess.

Mikey sits up and leans forward, peeling away Takemichi’s hands away from his face. “Don’t hide.” He holds both of Takemichi’s wrists in his hands with no intentions of letting go. “C’mon.”

No matter how much Takemichi puts his strength into fighting against Mikey, it all ends in a futile attempt. It doesn’t take him long before surrendering, giving in to Mikey’s request.

Takemichi trembles in Mikey’s iron grip. “Maybe if I stay here... we can both be... in...” He sinks his head lower as his voice goes quieter the more he talks. “we— we can both be in...”

“Just say it,” Mikey urges again.

“Each other’s future.” Finishing his sentence, Takemichi closes his eyes so tight that he’s scrunching his nose, afraid of what the feedback might be.

It’s different from what Mikey initially thought the answer would be. He expected something like Takemichi wanting to save him, or Takemichi simply wanting him to be happy. This is different. This means something else entirely.

Takemichi wants him in his future.

Together.

Ever since they met, Mikey has always had this exceptional infatuation towards Takemichi, it’s undeniable. Everyone knows that he’s somewhat obsessed with the blue-eyed boy. It’s so natural for him to cling onto Takemichi to the extent that no one bats an eye anymore. At this point, it’s normal.

It was curiosity at first, which turned into gratefulness that developed into fondness the more they spend time with each other. This fondness he has towards Takemichi... it might turn into something else. It might turn into something dangerous and deep, perhaps irreversible.

Perhaps this thumping inside of Mikey’s chest will turn into their downfall.

“Takemitchy, are you hearing what you’re saying?”

Slowly, Takemichi opens his eyes. “Huh? Ye...yea—"

Red.

For the first time in the whole time that Takemichi has known Mikey, he finally sees him blush. The color is contrasting against his pale skin, dusting every corner of his face up to his ears. His eyebrows are furrowed and lips scowling as if he’s angry to himself for getting embarrassed to the point of flushing.

Seeing Mikey so red, Takemichi couldn’t help but to blush as well.

There’s no reason to be blushing, Takemichi thought. It was an honest answer like Mikey had asked him, so why blush so much? Haven’t they exchanged more embarrassing lines in the past between each other already?

Hugging, getting in each other’s faces to the point that their lips almost touch, confessing about how they want to save one another, one person calling the other their hero; those are already exchanged among them. They say cheesy things to each other so often that it shouldn’t be making them feel so flustered, yet that one sentence made them both blush.

Simply saying that Takemichi wants Mikey in his future is apparently more embarrassing than all those things they did in the past.

“Stop blushing! It’s weird!” Finally, Mikey lets go of his grip around Takemichi’s wrists.

Offended, Takemichi retorts, “Excuse me? You blushed first!”

“Because of you!”

“You asked first???”

“Shut up!”

“You shut up!”

They both breathe heavily, chest heaving up and down hard as they stare blankly at each other. They’re sitting in silence while they regulate their own breaths. Takemichi is the first to look away with a scowl on his face, the blush on his face still not disappearing meanwhile Mikey keeps on staring at the back of his friend’s head.

“The— the point is...” Takemichi starts again, still having his back against Mikey. “Let’s just stay together, okay? I’m tired of seeing you turn evil.”

Mikey blinks a few times.

“Pft—!" Mikey snorts, breaking the silence between them. He bursts into a laugh.

Offended, Takemichi turns his head towards Mikey. “What?”

“Nothing. You’re just funny.”

“You’re weird.” Takemichi pouts.

“You’re weirder.”

Takemichi is on a date with Hina when Mikey appears out of nowhere with Draken. He was just having a lunch with his girlfriend in a café before Mikey barges in randomly while Draken follows behind with an apologetic yet amused look.

Mikey takes a chair from another table and slides in between Takemichi and Hina as Draken does the same.

“You won’t mind if I join you, Takemitchy.” Rather than a question, it sounds more like a statement.

Beside Mikey, Draken also adds, “Sorry, Takemitchy. This brat won’t shut up about wanting to join your date.”

“Draken-kun...” Takemichi whines with pleading eyes. “Please drag him away?”

“That’s mean, Takemitchy! I’m here, you know!” Mikey tries to get acknowledged by Takemichi, but he ignores him to plea more to Draken.

“No can do. You know how stubborn he can be sometimes.”

Getting his date interrupted, Takemichi scowls as he drops his head to the table with a loud thump. “I hate you sometimes, Mikey-kun.”

“Good to know.” Mikey understands that Takemichi meant no harm behind his words and took it well, smiling brightly as if Takemichi just gave him a permission to be there. Well, it’s not like Takemichi can kick them out anyway.

Hina smiles. “It’s okay Takemichi-kun. It’s more fun to have more people,” she reassures as she places her hand on top of Takemichi’s.

An angel. Hina must be an angel, Takemichi thought. Her hand is so soft and gentle atop of his. Her skin is covered in warmth despite the cold weather, just like her sunshine of a smile.

The gesture makes him smile like an idiot, forgetting the other two dumbasses interrupting his day off with Hina. But suddenly, he feels another warm skin not belonging to Hina touch his other hand which is placed on his lap, under the table. He flinches, instantly sitting up right to see the owner of said hand.

Mikey.

He’s about to address it in front of everyone until he realizes that Mikey is acting as if he’s not doing it on purpose. He continues to talk to both Draken and Hina as he intertwines their fingers together under the table, skin rough and calloused, contrasting to Hina’s silky smooth one. He probably shouldn’t bring this up to everyone, seeing how Mikey is acting.

This must be a prank.

Takemichi feels heat rush to his face, but he stays quiet about the whole hand ordeal. He stares at Mikey all while said person is rubbing circles on the back of his hand with his thumb. He’s so calm about it; playing around with Takemichi’s fingers, turning his hand around a couple of times to trace pictures on the palm. He doesn’t know why, but he lets it happen anyway.

Despite the innocent gesture, this all feels so intimate and almost dirty. Doing anything behind someone’s back always feel dirty, to be fair, no matter the context. He lets his gaze linger on Mikey longer, waiting for him to at least laugh it away or call it a prank.

Finally, Mikey glances at him, then smirks. The red on his face deepens.

It frustrates him how he’s getting flustered while Mikey isn’t.

I should pull my hand.

He definitely should.

But I don’t want to.

Mikey has changed.

After admitting about staying in the past, Takemichi notices that he’s changed. Especially after the hand incident while he was on a date with Hina. He was on a date with his girlfriend and he held hands with his male friend under the exact same table they were eating on.

The worst thing is: Takemichi let the whole thing went down.

He could’ve called Mikey out and everyone would laugh it off as a joke, but deep down, he’s afraid. Somehow, he’s afraid that his girlfriend might get jealous over him and his male friend secretly holding hands behind her back. He shouldn’t be worried if nothing is going on between them, but that’s the thing.

Something is certainly going on between them.

He doesn’t know what, but it’s... something.

Then, similar things happen one after another.

Once, Mikey asked if he could taste the strawberry milk that Takemichi was drinking. He of course, allows him, because it’s normal for them to share food and drink on a daily basis. It’s nothing out of the ordinary, except, when Mikey finishes drinking out of the carton of milk, he says, “An indirect kiss.”

It was undoubtedly a joke, but Takemichi noticed how his heart started to beat a little bit faster.

Then, there’s things of small gestures like Mikey rubbing his shoulder when they put their arms around each other’s shoulders, or Mikey ruffling Takemichi’s hair slightly longer than usual, letting his fingers linger for a while before pulling away. Some other time, Mikey would randomly touch Takemichi’s nape or blow on it lightly.

Other days, when they’re around their friends, Mikey would do things such as interlocking their fingers together behind their backs, rubbing the small of Takemichi’s back without saying anything, or whisper things like, “You look good today.” and “I want to be alone with you.” with a look of innocence on his face. The way he whispers into Takemichi’s ear is also a thing to take notice of. His lips would occasionally brush against the tip of his ear so lightly that if he wasn’t hyperaware, he wouldn’t notice.

Sometimes, Mikey who loves dorayaki so much, would give his share to Takemichi, even though Takemichi doesn’t particularly feel any kind of strong feelings towards the food. If anything, it’s more of a way for Mikey to show Takemichi that he’s willing to give up something precious to him for Takemichi. It’s all just too obvious.

Yet, all of those things made Takemichi’s heart go through a marathon run.

There are also times where Mikey would blatantly stare at Takemichi and doesn’t look away even when Takemichi stares back. In the end, he gets flustered first and averts his eyes instead of Mikey.

It makes him wonder if Takemichi does the same thing, would Mikey act the same?

He tries it out on the person himself.

Takemichi, Mikey, and the other ex-Toman members are going on a nostalgic trip to the beach after school is over. The breeze is refreshing, the smell of the ocean entering their nostrils once they step on the white sand, and the orange sky is reflecting against the ocean, beautifully blending into one another in the horizon.

They each parked their motorcycles at the parking lot and changed into their trunks, leaving them to be bare-chested. It’s no problem for the others, but it’s a problem to Takemichi because compared to his friends, his body is not really as toned. He decided to hide it under a hoodie.

Takemichi walks slowly as his other friends run impatiently to the ocean, either excited to swim or just playing on the sand. He smiles, watching them relax and have fun with no burden on their shoulders. Like how high schoolers should.

After thinking for a while, he chooses to just relax under the sun rather than play in the ocean. He sits under the shade of a beach umbrella and pulls his feet into an embrace, letting his chin sit atop his knees while he enjoys the view of rolling waves crash against white sand. The sound is therapeutic and calming, especially because the beach is quiet at that time of the day.

He closes his eyes, letting the calm gust of wind bring him into a trance.

I want to come back here with the person that I treasure.

But who?

“Takemitchy.”

His eyes flutter opens again. As expected, it’s Mikey.

“...Mikey-kun,” he addresses briefly as he waits for Mikey to settle next to him, sitting comfortably on the towel.

Mikey stares off into the distance and Takemichi does the same.

“You know, at first I just thought you were a funny dude who’s a little bit similar to my brother.” With such a soft voice, anyone else beside Takemichi wouldn’t be able to hear Mikey right now.

Takemichi blinks, nodding slowly.

“Suddenly, my whole life depends on you.” He chuckles, voice cracking. “Life is funny.”

It is. Without speaking out loud, Takemichi agrees silently.

Mikey’s chuckle starts to die down.

“I’m so glad you’re not going back to the future.”

Takemichi’s heart thumps faster once again with no fail. “What do you mean?”

“If you’re not here, I probably won’t be able to watch this.” Mikey refers to the sight before them; the sight of their friends laughing while they let themselves loose. This should’ve happened since they were middle schoolers.

Takemichi notices the sad smile etched on Mikey’s face. It’s a smile that only people who went through things can make. A smile carrying a big burden behind. He’s so glad he went back and not stay in the future. If not, this smile will probably be witnessed by no one but Mikey himself. No one will notice the heavy responsibilities he’s bearing.

Now, he’s there.

We can share this burden together.

“I’m so grateful to be chosen by you.”

A familiar sense of wetness goes down his cheek.

“I wish we can stay here forever.”

Shit, he’s crying again.

Trying his best to hold back the tears, he fails anyway, more droplets of tears streaming down his face with no signs of stopping. He rubs his face roughly, desperately holding back his sobs while Mikey stares at him, wide-eyed with red dusted slightly across his cheeks.

He reaches his hand out, wiping the tears away from the corner of Takemichi’s eye. “Everything I do or say always makes you cry, huh?”

His hand is coarse and rough on his skin. Battle-scarred and strong. Protective and gentle.

Without realizing it, he nuzzles into Mikey’s palm, enjoying the warmth against his wet cheek as he continues to sniffle. He brings his hand up to cup Mikey’s hand and presses deeper so that he could feel more of him. He doesn’t want to let go.

“No matter what you do o-or say, I will...” he hiccups. “Always come back to... to save you.” Takemichi tries to say in between his cries.

You will be my happy ending.

“Mhm...” Mikey hums, his chest trembling. “Ok...okay.”

Oh no, he’s crying too.

With one big swoop, he wraps his arms around Mikey’s slender neck, pulling him into a tight embrace. “I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to make you cry.” Despite crying himself, he apologizes.

It’s a rare occasion to see them both cry at the same time. Takemichi almost chuckles at the thought.

Mikey nods into Takemichi’s shoulder, burying his face into the grey hoodie that Takemichi is wearing. He traces gentle circles atop Mikey’s bare back, feeling every single scar under his skin, whether they’re jagged or coarse, some slightly longer than others. He burns those scars into his memories, hoping that one day he can see Mikey fully bare, no more barriers between them.

After a few more sniffles, Mikey pulls away from the hug slowly. The smile he had from the beginning is still there, but this time, it’s lighter and wider than before. Takemichi’s heart swells at the sight.

They fell quiet under the umbrella, their sobs becoming less frequent as more time pass by between the silence. They both has their eyes set on the ground. They dare not look up to stare at each other.

All of a sudden, Takemichi’s heart beats faster yet again.

Mikey scoots a little bit closer, closing the little distance between them. His body is flush against Mikey’s bare shoulder while he silently regrets wearing a hoodie at that moment. He wants to feel Mikey’s skin again. He wants to let his warmth linger just a little bit longer for him to memorize.

No longer looking at the plain ground, Mikey blinks slowly as he turns to face Takemichi, his face so close that he could feel Mikey’s lashes flutter against his skin. His lidded eyes look into Takemichi’s wide ones.

“Takemitchy.” Mikey whispers, so personal and intimate. So close.

He reaches for the umbrella above them and pulls it to shield them away from everyone else that might see the sight.

“Yeah?” Takemichi whispers back breathlessly, almost too broken to be heard.

With hesitation in his voice, Mikey asks, “Can I kiss you?”

Takemichi’s heart is beating so loud that it might actually just jump out of his chest. He couldn’t hear the waves crashing, or the seagulls’ squawks, or the sounds of his friends laughing anymore. All he could hear is Mikey’s uneven breaths and his own thumping heart.

Yes.

He doesn’t even realize he didn’t verbally say the confirmation, immediately leaning forward to let his lips crash against Mikey’s. In the first second, they both freeze, the unfamiliar feeling of their lips against another a new and foreign concept.

Getting adjusted to the feeling, they slowly let instincts take over, experimentally moving and their heads in an attempt to feel each other closer, more, deeper.

Mikey is uncharacteristically careful with his movements, letting their lips part once in a while to glide his tongue lightly against Takemichi’s lip. It’s addicting. Mikey tastes so sweet that he left Takemichi wanting for more.

Panting, they both pull away from the lip-numbing kiss while they stare into each other’s eyes. Takemichi decides to pull a little prank and presses a final kiss on the corner of Mikey’s lips.

Mikey is dumbfounded.

“Stop staring...” Takemichi averts his eyes while rubbing his nape, the feeling of Mikey’s lips lingering on his own.

“You’re too precious not to be stared at.”

Following the event of them kissing on the beach, nothing much has happened. The overly touchy-feely Mikey still happens. The secret flirting behind their friend continues to happen too. But beside that, they never went as far as they did when they were on the beach.

Then, he remembers about Hina.

Tachibana Hinata.

His girlfriend, the love of his life, his future wife, the one to bear his children one day, Tachibana Hinata.

How could he completely forget about her?

The reason he started time-leaping was her in the first place, but now...

It’s Sano Manjiro.

Everything felt so natural with him. The teasing developed into signs of endearment, which turned into genuine affection, and Takemichi never noticed all that until now. Staying in the past with him makes Takemichi want more of him.

Reality suddenly hits him; he’s cheating on his girlfriend with the one and only Sano Manjiro.

He got carried away by all the butterflies, the ghosting brushes of his skin against Mikey’s, the sweet nothings Mikey whispers to his ear, the feeling of warmth rushing to his cheeks. Those felt too good to be true.

He shouldn’t have stayed after all.

Because,

He’s in love with Sano Manjiro.

Maybe this is what Chifuyu meant by him risking his future with Hina if he stays in the past.

“Takemichi-kun?” Hina’s sweet voice snaps Takemichi out of his trance.

Oh, that’s right, Takemichi’s walking Hina home today. Yet all he’s thinking about is Mikey. Guilt swirls in the pit of his stomach as he watches Hina smile so brightly at him.

“Yeah?” Takemichi feels like crying.

“Why are you spacing out?” The concern in her voice causes bile to rise up Takemichi’s throat.

He’s disgusted with himself. He sways as he walks, suddenly dizzy.

Hina reaches out to hold his arms. “Are you okay? Is something on your mind?”

“No, I’m okay.” With a simple smile, Takemichi answers half-heartedly.

How can he cheat on such a kind person? The girl who sees him as a hero no matter how lame he is. The girl who cheers him up no matter the circumstances. The girl who literally changed his life.

Hearing the answer, Hina frowns. “You’re not okay. Stop lying.”

Stop caring about me, please.

“I’m really okay...” He continues walking as if nothing happened. “Just a little tired, that’s all.”

Albeit a little unsure, Hina lets it go, shifting the conversation topic. “Hey, Takemichi-kun, did you know?”

“Hm?”

“Today in PE class, we were supposed to...”

Takemichi’s mind drifts away again.

God, he wants to see Mikey.

Want to feel him under his fingertips.

No.

He slaps both of his cheeks with his own hands, causing Hina to jump in surprise. “Takemichi-kun?!”

With glossy eyes, Takemichi says, “I’m sorry Hina, I think I want to go home early today.”

For a while, Hina lets the concern linger in her eyes, but they dissipate quickly. “Okay then.”

“I’m sorry, I just- I don’t feel good today.”

“I understand.” Her smile goes wider. Takemichi’s heart aches.

“I’ll make it up to you some—”

“Takemichi-kun! It’s. O. Kay!” Hina pronounces every syllable. “Now go. You look like you need some rest.”

The sweetest person.

Takemichi nods, the stuffy feeling inside his chest turning suffocating.

The sweetest person.

He walks away, occasionally looking back once in a while to see Hina exactly at the same spot, waving her hand with the smile that made him fall in love with her in the first place. Hina is so beautiful. Shining.

She is his future. Takemichi finally realizes.

A future with Mikey is not possible.

The further he is from Hina, the quicker his steps. He runs and runs, despite not knowing where he should go. He wants to run away again, to the future where everything is guaranteed to be happy. A future which he fought so hard for.

After running for a while, he finally breaks his steps. He heaves, nearly choking on his own breath as he tries to breathe normally. Despite being outdoors, he still feels like he’s suffocating.

He’s back at the riverbank.

He and Mikey came here with Draken once when they weren’t as close. Everything was so simple back then, just teenagers wanting the thrill of having power, playing criminal and rebels. Now he’s just... drowning.

Before breaking down yet again, Takemichi sits by the river, feeling the coarse grass under his fingertips. He lets himself lay there for a while, looking at the rolling clouds above him, ready to turn into a rain.

Playing in the rain sounds refreshing right now.

Droplets of rain water drip onto his face and slide down the side of his face, just like how his own tears would. They’re cold, ruthlessly pouring the longer he stays there. A mere drizzle turns into a downpour in no time, soaking his whole body in ice-cold water.

“I wonder if you’re under this rain too.”

The “you” in question is still just a vague silhouette of a person in Takemichi’s mind.

“Takemitchy?”

Takemichi sits up immediately, hearing Draken’s voice call him from above. He’s holding an umbrella in his hand while a plastic bag is dangling in his other hand.

“What are you doing here, looking miserable like that?” Draken doesn’t sugarcoat his words. “Come with me, I’m going to Mikey’s”

Ah, the plastic bag must be full of dorayaki.

“I’m fine here.” Mikey isn’t exactly the person Takemichi wants to see right now. “You go. I’ll stay here.”

“You want me to beat you up?” with a slight threat, Draken says.

Takemichi flinches, afraid that Draken might kick him into the river. He faces his friend, furrowing. “You’re so mean.”

“Just get up, dumbass. You’re gonna catch a cold.” Slowly, he descends down the steep grass to cover Takemichi with his umbrella, letting rainwater soak a part of his shoulder. “Jeez, what an idiot.”

Seeing how Draken lets himself get soaked because of him, Takemichi doesn’t dare reject him again. He timidly nods and stands up to follow Draken. With a smirk, Draken leads them away from the riverbank.

It doesn’t take long before they arrive at Mikey’s house. Without knocking or alerting anyone at home about their arrival, Draken enters the gate and goes into Mikey’s room which is located outside the main house.

Entering the room, Mikey’s complaints could be heard almost instantly.

“Ken-chin you took so long, I’m hungry as fuck.” Mikey turns his body, seemingly not surprised to see a rain-soaked Takemichi beside Draken. “Takemitchy.”

“Pardon the... intrusion.” His eyes are still settled on the ground when suddenly, a warm towel drapes over his head as a warmer pair of hands cups his head.

“Well, sorry for being a human with only two legs.” Draken apologizes, full sarcasm in his tone. “I’m gonna use the toilet, ‘kay?” He disappears behind the door leading to the bathroom.

“Why did you stay in the rain?”

Takemichi couldn’t see Mikey’s face through the towel in between them. He’s so glad there’s something separating the two of them, or else he would’ve given in and hugged Mikey.

Missing a beat of the conversation, Takemichi simply replies, “No reason.”

Mikey hums, still ruffling Takemichi’s hair with the towel. “You’re not okay, aren’t you.”

Takemichi stays quiet.

“And you’re not gonna tell me about it either.”

Frowning, Mikey gets rid of the towel to reveal Takemichi’s red-rimmed eyes.

“Why are you crying?”

Because I can’t have you.

Takemichi shakes his head as his tears pour down.

“Don’t cry,” Mikey coos, his voice soft. He puts his hand on Takemichi’s cheek and rubs his thumb slowly.

Your hand is so warm.

“What if I went back to the future?”

The time suddenly stops.

“What will you do?” Takemichi asks again.

Mikey jerks his hand away from Takemichi, a frown forming on his face. “What are you saying?”

“We can’t keep doing this.”

“You promised.” Mikey is referring to when Takemichi promised him that he will save Mikey.

Takemichi’s throat is strained, painful. “I know...”

“Then save me, Takemichi.”

“I don’t know how.” He looks away, afraid that if he looks at Mikey, he will melt into his arms again.

Mikey’s hands clench around his arms. “Stay here, that’s how.”

“I can’t.”

“But you want to.”

“But I can’t!” Takemichi raises his voice, but his voice cracks instead. “But I can’t.”

Silence stretches between them, drowning.

Mikey leans forward and kisses Takemichi. It’s a short kiss, merely a peck compared to their kiss on the beach. Takemichi’s eyes widen as he jerks away from Mikey’s grasp. It’s all useless, though, considering the power gap between them.

“Don’t kiss me! Stop!” He cries out, thrashing around.

“I don’t know what to do to make you stay.” For the first time in all the years that Takemichi has known Mikey, he never sounds this desperate. “How do I keep you here?”

This isn’t right.

“You can’t keep me here!” Takemichi barks, frustrated and angry more at himself rather than at Mikey. “I found out that I don’t belong here.”

“You belong as long as you’re with me.”

Don’t say that.

“And ruin my future?”

Mikey’s grip loosens. “What do you mean your future?”

“Hina. I have Hina. I can’t let her go.”

The thought of ruining their future marriage is terrifying.

“I want to have that future.”

Finally, Mikey lets go. “...but you promised.”

“I’m sorry.”

Mikey’s eyes are glossy. He walks closer to Takemichi until he couldn’t get away anymore, trapping him in between Mikey’s body and the wall.

“You promised.” Once again, Mikey places his lips on Takemichi’s. This time the kiss lingers, deep, and yearning. He closes his eyes. They both taste salt on their lips, but they don’t know whose tears those belong to.

Takemichi doesn’t want to pull away.

Then, their lips are separated, Takemichi doesn’t know why and how, but Mikey is suddenly across the room. He opens his eyes to see Draken, furious and red-fisted. Mikey probably doesn’t feel hurt by the punch, seeing how he just slumps in the corner, uncaring.

“What the fuck are you both doing?!” Draken rushes forward again, this time to punch Takemichi, causing him to fall onto the ground. “Mikey!” After landing a punch on Takemichi, Draken switches his focus to Mikey again.

“You promised to protect his future!”

“And?”

“Why...” Draken chokes out, “why are you ruining it yourself?”

Takemichi and Mikey could only stare at the ground.

“Why are you both not answering...?” Breathless, Draken asks again.

Tired of the deafening silence, he takes Mikey’s collar in his hand and punches him once more. “Answer me, you bastard!”

“Draken-kun, please stop...” Takemichi pleads, hoping it would reach him.

“And you!” Draken turns his head towards Takemichi. “You have everything! When Emma died, I couldn’t even have the same future as you. But you!”

I don’t know.

“You’re throwing that future away with Hina!”

The room is filled with nothing but the sounds of their breaths and Takemichi’s sobs.

“I’m gonna leave.” Draken gives up, letting go of Mikey’s collar to let him drop on the floor like a ragdoll. He passes by Takemichi and doesn’t spare another glance before storming off into the rain. The door slams shut with a loud thump.

“Is this worth it?” Takemichi doesn’t know how he finds the courage to speak, but he found it, and he’s going to use it properly. “Is losing Draken-kun worth it?”

“Is ruining yourself worth it?”

Mikey wipes a speck of blood staining the corner of his lips. “If I have to burn the whole world down to have you, I will do it.”

“Stop! It’s not worth it!” Why is Mikey so persistent? “I’m never worth it!”

“You don’t understand, Takemichi.”

Takemichi glares at Mikey from across the room. “What?”

“I’m gonna lose myself without you.”

Takemichi figured. It was one of the reasons why he stayed in this timeline. Now, it’s beginning to become a reason why he wants to leave.

“I won’t ask for more.” Mikey is on the verge of pleading. “Just stay, I won’t even kiss you, hell, I won’t appear in your sight anymore. Just don’t leave me back here.”

White noise. All Takemichi could hear is white noise.

Takemichi stares at the familiar ceiling above him. He’s in his own room.

His head is dizzy, throbbing. He feels like burning up inside his blanket and altogether, he feels like shit. He definitely passed out in Mikey’s room after the whole argument.

“I told you.” Chifuyu’s voice came from beside him.

He turns his head to meet his best friend’s gaze. “Chifuyu, why are you here?”

“Mikey asked me to carry you back home.” He doesn’t seem to want to give further explanation. “So, are you going back?”

Takemichi is taken aback by the way Chifuyu sounds like he knows so much. “How do you know?”

“I figured.” He pops out a lollipop from inside of his mouth with a loud pop. “Everyone noticed, we just decided to stay quiet about it. I mean, that shit you both pulled at the beach? Yeah, pretty obvious.”

Groaning, Takemichi tries to ignore the throbbing inside of his head that seems to grow bigger. “I don’t know what happened.”

“You fell for Mikey, that’s what happened.”

Of course.

“I want to make it right.” Takemichi says, not so resolutely.

“Then go back.” It’s the only way, after all.

“But...what will happen to Mikey-kun?”

“Seriously? Are you not hearing yourself right now?” Chifuyu rolls his eyes. “I already knew that this was not a good idea.”

“I was desperate,” Takemichi defends himself.

“To get into Mikey’s pants? Yeah. Pretty obvious.”

With wobbly hands, Takemichi sits up on his bed, ignoring the aching in his head. Draken was right about him getting a cold. “I never planned that to happen.”

“Well, guess what?” Chifuyu plops down onto the ground. “All this time you time-leaped, no plan ever worked. We just kind of bullshit things into happening. This time is no different. You might be saving Mikey by being his...” He tries to find the word. “...whatever you are to him, but you’re sacrificing the future you currently have with Hina.”

“I don’t wanna choose.”

“Dude, listen, I know I told you that it’s okay to be selfish, but this is out of line.” The concern in Chifuyu’s voice is clear for anyone to hear. “You’re gonna hurt both of them.”

“What should I do, then? Leave Mikey alone?” His throat starts to hurt more. “He’s gonna die.”

“Yes.” Chifuyu says, no humor in his voice. “Sometimes, we can’t save everyone.”

“How are you okay with this?!” Despite the throbbing in his head, Takemichi tries his best to sound angry.

“Do I look like I’m okay with this??” Chifuyu’s somber, his voice trembling.

He’s clearly not okay with this. It’s just that there’s no other choice.

“Maybe fate do exist.” He speaks in a way that he’s never spoken before. It’s as if he’s in a monologue.

Not giving up, Takemichi quips back, “I don’t believe in fate.”

“Neither do I, but here we are, struggling to find a way to fight it.”

He’s right, denying their “fate” is no use if they can’t change it. It’s just a waste of energy; getting frustrated towards themselves for not being able to go against literal law of nature.

“Go back, Takemitchy.” The cold surface of Chifuyu’s palm meets Takemichi’s burning skin on the back of his hand. “For Hina, for Mikey too. Don’t give him hope.”

“I don’t know if I have the strength to face him and shake his hand.”

“I’ll give you the strength. Tomorrow.”

Tomorrow comes faster than Takemichi had anticipated it. Everything feels so fast, an hour like a minute, one step like a hundred, and one blink after another, school ends.

He and Chifuyu agreed to meet up after school with Mikey at the temple where Toman used to assemble on. They both wait, sitting on the stairs with a sense of lingering dread following them. Takemichi wants to puke. His stomach turns and twists in anticipation.

Once they hear a set of footsteps approaching, they immediately knew who it was. Mikey stands at the foot of the stairs with the same pair of dark eyes from the first time they met three years ago.

“Mikey-kun,” Takemichi exhales, voice so small that he himself wasn’t sure if it reached Mikey.

“You can do this, Takemitchy.” Chifuyu reassures, a mere whisper that sounds so loud inside of Takemichi’s ears.

Both Takemichi and Chifuyu stand up to descend from the stairs. They’re so close to each other that Chifuyu might hear the drumming of Takemichi’s heart against his chest. It’s so loud and deafening.

“Are you leaving me, Takemichi?” No longer using the nickname he himself came up with, Mikey asks. Takemichi hears the hopelessness in the way he spoke and feel his chest ache.

“I’m not leaving. The past me will always stay back here.” It’s not a lie. He will always be right by Mikey’s side, if Mikey wants him to be.

Knowing what Takemichi meant, Mikey inhales a ragged breath. “Why can’t you just choose me?”

“It’s for the best.” Chifuyu steps in before Takemichi could change his mind because he knows for damn sure that Takemichi is weak for Mikey.

“Chifuyu, it’s okay,” Takemichi smiles anxiously at his friend. “I can do this.”

“Do what? Leave me?”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“You can choose me.”

Takemichi stays silent, gaze piercing through Mikey’s dark ones.

“Fine. Shake my hand.” He holds out his hand, waiting for Takemichi to take it.

“Why—”

“Just shake my hand.”

“Mikey-kun, I just...”

“SHAKE IT!” Mikey loses his cool, screaming on the top of his lungs. His whole body is trembling from rage and perhaps, dejection.

No more questions asked, Takemichi takes Mikey’s hand in his and closes his eyes, ready to jump back in time. He waits one second, two second, before opening his eyes and realizing that he’s still in the same spot as before, Mikey’s hand in his.

Seeing how the future Takemichi couldn’t go back to his original timeline, Mikey smirks, desperately trying to look confident. “I knew it... you can’t go unless I want you to.” Mikey drops to the ground, his trembling knees no longer able to support his body.

“Takemitchy! Why— what...” Chifuyu looks at them with so many questions inside his mind. “Why are you still...”

Still shaking hands with Mikey, Takemichi grips harder. “Please... let me leave.”

“Don’t go, Takemichi I—”

“I hate you.”

“What?”

“I hate you, Manjiro.”

“Stop, don’t say that.” Mikey regains the strength to stand up, pulling his hand away from Takemichi, but Takemichi grasps it harder.

“I hate you so much, I want to leave.”

“Shut up!”

“I hate you! Everything about you, I hate. We shouldn’t have met in the first place.”

"Takemichi, please."

"We were never meant to be" 

“Takemichi, stop.”

“I wish you didn’t exist at all.”

He did it. He’s back in the future, from the way he’s inside of his apartment.

However, this time, he’s not alone inside of the run-down place. There are sounds of sizzling from the kitchen and the smell of homemade food wafting through the air. He looks around, finding that he’s sitting on the living room while the television is on.

He blinks in confusion. So, Mikey ended up wanting to send him back to the future after Takemichi said that he wishes Mikey didn’t exist. He doesn’t blame the poor guy; he went too far in a last desperate attempt to sever their connection.

Suddenly he regrets everything.

I wish you didn’t exist at all.

Mikey was probably the most wonderful thing that has ever appeared in Takemichi’s life and he wasted him, leaving Mikey in the past. He didn’t fail to save Mikey; he was undoubtedly the reason why Mikey needed saving in the first place.

“Takemichi-kun?” A beautiful girl with red hair peeks from the kitchen, a spatula in her hand. “You’re back!”

Ah, that’s right. He stayed for so long in the past that he missed his own wedding in the future. Funny how Hina immediately recognizes him and beams in such a bright smile when he unexpectedly feels empty after coming back.

Seeing Hina look so domestic, cooking for him, and living with him should make him feel happy, so why does he hate this so much? Why does this feel so wrong? Why does he feel like he doesn’t belong?

“Where is Mikey-kun?” Takemichi asks all while he’s preparing to hear for the an answer that he might not like. “He’s not dead, is he?”

Hina’s gaze softens. She goes to sit beside Takemichi while she holds his hand. “He’s not.” Takemichi feels a heavy burden gets lifted from his shoulders. “But he’s not in the best condition.” The burden comes back.

“I need to—” Takemichi tries to stand up, tears starting to gather in his eyes. “I need to see him, now.”

With a gentle grasp on the hem of his t-shirt, Hina prevents him from going. “Draken-kun said you can’t.”

“Why?” Takemichi’s eye twitches. He hasn’t talked to Draken in the past about the whole thing.

“He said you’ll just go back to the past again.”

There’s no way I can go back to the past and meet Mikey-kun after hurting him like that.

“I just... want to see him.” Slowly, he tries to tear Hina’s fingers away from his clothes. “Please, I just want to see how he’s doing.”

Knowing that she won’t be able to hold him back, Hina lets go. “Promise me you won’t go back to the past after you see him?”

There’s no way Takemichi can promise something like that. The last time he promised something to a certain person he deeply cares for, he broke it, not only that, he broke his heart too. Even after deciding that he won’t go back to the past, he still couldn’t make a promise with Hina.

The silence is enough of an answer to Hina. “You can go.” She sounds dejected, disappointed, and guilt is twisting in Takemichi’s stomach.

“I’ll be back.” He doesn’t know when, but he’ll be back.

After a quick call with Chifuyu to ask about the details, he arrives at a hospital a bit far from where he originally lives. Chifuyu was reluctant to give the address to the hospital at first, but Takemichi managed to coax it out of him, somehow. He took a taxi there with nothing but his phone on him.

Unfortunately—or fortunately, Takemichi couldn’t even decide for himself—, he doesn’t know what happened or why Mikey is in the hospital because Chifuyu refuses to give him the reason. He decides to go and find out for himself, walking into the hospital without rethinking whether he wants to see Mikey in such condition.

He walks down the hallway to the reception, the familiar sterile scent of the hospital giving him flashbacks to when Emma passed away. The thought that Mikey might be in the same condition gives him goosebumps. He proceeds to ask about where Mikey is staying in, anyway.

Once the nurse gives him the room number, Takemichi’s heart beats faster in each step he takes to reach the room.

Arriving in front of the room is just one of the few heart breaks that he’ll be facing inside of the hospital. With one swift push, he enters the room with heavy steps and tears pooling in the corners of his eyes.

Inside, Mikey lays weakly on the bed, pale and looking almost... lifeless.

Just by looking at him, Takemichi already knows that he’s in a coma. He doesn’t know why and couldn’t really guess the reason behind it, but one thing he knows for sure is that there’s something to do with him leaving to the future.

He sits on a chair next to the bed and stares at Mikey’s skinny figure, heart breaking into pieces as he listens to Mikey’s weak breaths.

What happened to you?

In the past, he’s held Mikey’s lifeless body in his hand countless of times, but seeing him like this hurts even more. Maybe because Takemichi knows that his involvement in the past caused this major change.

“He overdosed.”

This voice, rough and deep, only belongs to Draken.

“Draken-kun...” Takemichi turns his head around, finding Draken who’s entering the room with the same demeanor he’s had for the past ten years.

“It’s been five months.” Draken proceeds to sit on the couch. “He’s not waking up any time soon.”

“Is it because of me?”

For a while, Draken reconsiders silently, eyes looking back and forth between Mikey and Takemichi. “Who knows.”

In his mind, the vague answer from Draken is an obvious yes.

“I’m sorry.” It’s probably useless to apologize now.

“You did the right thing.” Draken tries his best to word it carefully. “He would’ve gone this route sooner or later.”

“Draken-kun, I think...” Takemichi places his hand on Mikey’s cold, rigid hand. “I think I still—”

“You have a wife.”

The reminder causes him to flinch. “Even after going back here, I still want to go to the past again.”

“Let him go.” Despite his best efforts to sound stern, his voice trembles. “He’s a lost cause. Stop holding on to your high school fantasy.”

“I miss the warmth on his skin.”

The only thing making a sound in that room is the occasional beeping from the heart rate monitor, the only proof that Mikey is alive due to how much similar he looks like to being lifeless right now.

“The doctor said it’s only a matter of time until his body gives in.”

Takemichi’s eyes widen in surprise. “We don’t know that.”

“He’s barely hanging on to a thread.”

“And he will hang there until he wakes up.”

“Let him go.”

“Never.”

Takemichi accepts the silence after that as a victory for him. He’ll be waiting for Mikey to wake up, no matter how long it takes. Because he knows Mikey will wake up someday.

He’ll wake up...

Right?

Again, it’s my fault.

He clutches Mikey’s hand as if it was his lifeline, his whole body quivering as he holds back his tears. It doesn’t take long before those tears pour down onto Mikey’s cold skin. He holds that hand close to his hear in the hope that it would let Mikey know that he’s finally there, by his side, and he’s never going away again.

He will wait. This time, it’s a promise that he won’t break. He wants to at least keep one promise between them.

The door opens and closes behind him. Draken finally leaves him alone with Mikey.

“Hey, Mikey-kun.”

Silence.

“If you wake up, I’ll take you to the beach.”

The heart beat monitor sounds mocking to him.

“So, I’m begging you. Please wake up.”

Takemichi shakes Mikey’s hand and closes his eyes, hoping that he could wake up in the past to see Mikey again. Of course, it doesn’t work, leaving him with a slap of guilt square in his face.

He insisted so much on going back to the future, to the point that he hurt Mikey, yet now, he’s desperate to time-leap to the past.

Fate is playing a prank on him right now. It must be.

Each day passes like a mere second.

Each day, Takemichi never fails to visit Mikey on his free time.

Each day, Mikey’s breath is getting awfully weaker.

Each day, Takemichi shakes his hand with no result.

“Mikey-kun.” Takemichi starts to talk like he usually does whenever he visits Mikey as he’s putting the bouquet of flowers he bought into a vase.

“Today, I went to the flower shop to buy you these flowers. I don’t know if you like flowers or not, but I kinda ran out of ideas and these flowers were the most convenient choice that I had.” He chuckles, brushing Mikey’s hair aside.

“The shopkeeper asked me if I had anyone in particular that I wanted to give these flowers to.” As per usual, he’s replied with more silence.

“I said I want to give the flowers to the person that I care deeply for.” He gazes off to the distance. “The shopkeeper said roses would be great, but I declined.”

“I added that I wronged them and I’d like to let them know how much I regret hurting them.” Mikey remains unmoving on the bed.

“She immediately changed her answer. She gave me this beautiful bouquet.” Takemichi takes a flower out from the vase. “These are called purple hyacinth.”

“When you wake up, can you keep these flowers in your home?”

“It would be a shame to let them wilt away. Especially since they’re so beautiful.”

Takemichi is starting to get used to the silent treatment from Mikey.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry.”

If only “I’m sorry” could turn back time.

If only it’s as easy as a hand shake.

“’I’m sorry’ doesn’t mean anything to you anymore, does it?” He places the purple hyacinth next to Mikey’s pale face. He looks so pretty.

“I never regretted kissing you back then.”

Mikey’s breaths are turning weaker.

“This is the only timeline where we loved each other.”

The heart rate monitor turns from short beeps into a long one.

“This is our happiest ending.”