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Chifuyu got into a fight again.
It’s a routine for him to get into fights as a gang member. He often throws punches without thinking, especially when it’s concerning Toman. Other gang members in his school talk shit all the time about Toman’s leader and just Toman in general. Chifuyu couldn’t just stand still and listen to the slander without giving them a lesson.
He wins most of the time, but there are other times where he loses. Like for example, now. He’s laying on the ground behind his school, battered and bleeding from his mouth. The world seems like it’s shaking in his eyes due to a clean hit to the back of his head. Thankfully, he’s still conscious.
With unsteady legs, he tries to stand up with his hand holding onto the wall beside him until he could finally stand on his own. If he passes out now, school will definitely call his parents and ask them to pick him up. He can’t let that happen if he still wants the freedom that his parents gave him.
Albeit slow, Chifuyu arrives at the school’s infirmary, at last. It’s a room located near the back of the school, so it wasn’t really a long walk from where he got beat up from. He hopes that the school nurse is present today.
He slides the door open, the scent of antiseptic instantly intruding his scent receptors with bitterness and an undertone of metal. It’s still the same old infirmary that he visited a few weeks ago when he confronted a bunch of annoying kids. He won back then, though, unlike today.
The school nurse isn’t here now. He should probably wait for her to come. He could treat the injuries himself, but waiting for the nurse could let him skip a class, so he does.
Entering the infirmary, he limps his way to the bed and sits there to wait for the nurse. While waiting, he closes the curtain around the bed and crashes his whole body onto the soft cushion of the pillow. Sleeping for a bit wouldn’t hurt.
His sleep is immediately interrupted with the sound of the infirmary door getting slammed open and the sound of someone... crying?
The door slams shut again and the sobbing becomes louder. Then, he hears a small thud against the floor, followed by more crying. The person bitterly weeps there, presumably because he doesn’t know that he’s not alone in there. Chifuyu is hidden behind the curtains, after all.
Chifuyu doesn’t know whether he should show himself or not. Hiding there will save the person some face, but eventually he will have to show himself anyway, after the school nurse comes.
Might as well show himself earlier, right?
With no hesitation, Chifuyu jumps down from the bed, the sound of his shoes against the floor alerting the stranger inside the infirmary. The sobbing immediately stops, almost comedically too.
Chifuyu pushes away the curtains to look at the stranger before him and his eyes widen.
The stranger is wearing his school’s uniform, but every part of it is in disarray. His collar stained with blood and dirt, buttons missing, tie gone from the supposed place, the hem ripped, and his whole body is soaked with something that smells foul. His blonde hair is matted to his face because of the similar substance soaking his uniform.
He’s sitting on the floor, leaning against the door behind him while he’s hugging his knees with bloodied and bruised arms. His eyes are so messed up that they barely open, the only thing Chifuyu could see through the little slits are pouring tears. His lips are ripped, bleeding so much blood without any signs of stopping.
The stranger looks up at Chifuyu, horrified, and scared.
What did this kid go through?
Because he certainly did not get into a fight like Chifuyu. His fists are clean from the familiar chaffed marks you get after punching someone. This looks like it might be one sided, perhaps bullying.
Chifuyu can be a delinquent, but he will never beat up someone who can’t fight back.
Despite his own injuries and wounds, Chifuyu holds out a hand. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” the stranger curtly says. He averts his eyes and looks down on the floor.
“You’re clearly not.” With a very light and playful tone, Chifuyu chuckles. “Forget I asked. Come here, I’ll treat you.”
Carefully, Chifuyu reaches for the stranger’s arm to help him up, but the stranger moves away instead. “Don’t— I’ll just...” he gulps. “I’ll just wait for the nurse.”
“I won’t hurt you. Just wanna help.” His voice softens, so gentle that he surprised himself he could sound so kind. “I promise.”
The stranger hesitates, looking back and forth between Chifuyu and the ground as if he’s weighing the options in his mind. With a last stare at Chifuyu’s wide smile, he finally nods. He accepts Chifuyu’s hand in his, wincing a bit as he notices that he transferred the grime on his hand onto Chifuyu’s.
“It’s fine, I can wipe it later.” Knowing what the stranger is thinking, Chifuyu reassures. “Sit down on the chair— or on the bed, anywhere, really.”
In the end, the stranger chooses to sit on the edge of the bed timidly, not taking off his eyes from the floor. He watches Chifuyu scour through the medicine cabinet, grabbing a few things and stuffing them in his arms. After getting everything he needed, Chifuyu walks over to the stranger and sits on the stool next to the bed.
He places the things he grabbed on the bed side table before retrieving the gauze and antiseptic. “I get in fights often, so you know I’m good at treating wounds.” He monologues as he pours the antiseptic onto the gauze, soaking it in yellow liquid. “How about you, dude? You get in fights often too?”
The stranger stares for a while, furrowing his brows. “Yeah...” he lies.
Chifuyu halts dabbing the gauze on the wounds to look into the stranger’s eyes. “You don’t need to lie, you know.”
“It was a fight, I just got overpowered.”
“It’s called bullying.”
The stranger’s furrowed eyebrows go deeper. “I started the fight, it’s not bullying.”
“It’s okay, you don’t need to be embarrassed, it’s not your fault.”
“I refuse to call myself a victim.”
Chifuyu’s fingers clenches around the stranger’s arm, holding back his rage towards whoever bullied the poor boy. “Being a victim doesn’t mean you’re weaker than them.”
“I wouldn’t be a victim if I wasn’t weaker, would I?” He retorts with a slight quiver in his voice. The tears are welling in his eyes again.
Chifuyu’s mouth clamps shut. He doesn’t know what he should say to comfort the boy. He just continues to treat the injuries, cleaning every single one of them gently to at least make the bleeding stop. Especially the boy’s lip, because stopping the blood is the only thing he could do. He can’t sew the skin shut.
He also walks over to the small cabinet under the nurse’s table to get a fresh pair of jersey and a towel. He places said clothing on the bed.
“Use these, you might catch a cold if you spend the whole day soaked like that.” He puts the towel over the boy’s head. “I’ll wait for you to change, alright? I’m gonna continue treating the other wounds after you finished.”
The stranger nods timidly, slowly closing the curtains before changing his clothes.
It doesn’t take long until the boy opens the curtains again, clean and smelling better than before. Chifuyu smiles as he approaches the boy again to continue treating the wounds.
“Here, for your eyes.” He hands over a pack of ice to the boy. “To make the swelling go down.”
“Thanks.” The boy receives the ice pack and immediately places it over his purple eye.
“Do you have any other wounds on your body?” Chifuyu asks.
Nervously, the boy undoes the zipper in front of his jersey to reveal a blooming bruise across his abdomen. It’s purple, with green and yellow edges, as if they’re bruising again before the previous one healed.
Chifuyu’s heart clenches at the sight.
He squirts a bit of ointment salve onto his finger. “This is gonna feel cold.” He warns before placing his finger there to spread the salve on the bruise.
The boy shivers, his cheeks visibly getting redder from Chifuyu’s touch. “It tickles.”
Also feeling somewhat flustered, Chifuyu apologizes. “Sorry, I won’t take long.”
He quickly spreads the ointment across the abdomen, the salve turning warmer under his skin, melting on the purple bruise on the boy’s stomach. Chifuyu lifts his hand once he finishes applying the salve. The boy hurriedly zips the jersey back up.
“It’s, uh, it’s done.” Chifuyu announces with a genuine smile etched across his face. “Feel better?”
“Yeah, thanks.” The boy bows curtly as he looks away. “How about you? I can help you treat those too.” He refers to the dried blood on Chifuyu’s forehead.
“I’m good, I’ll just wait for sensei to come.” With a hop, Chifuyu sits on the bed next to the boy.
The stranger blinks a few times and gets off the bed. “Okay then, I’ll leave.”
“You don’t wanna wait for sensei?”
“I’m good.”
“Oh. Okay.”
The stranger bows curtly again. “Once again, thank you. Good bye.” He disappears behind the sliding door.
“Yeah.” Chifuyu replies too late.
He waits for the nurse alone in the infirmary, somewhat missing the stranger’s presence in there. The sounds of his sobs haunt the back of his mind. It’s so heart breaking.
About half an hour passes until a teacher enters the infirmary.
“Matsuno-kun? Jeez, you got in a fight again?” Her voice booms through the infirmary, warm and motherly. “And here I thought you gave up after not seeing you here for weeks.”
Chifuyu sits up on the bed with a mischievous smirk. “Sorry, sensei. Couldn’t hold myself back.”
She sighs, getting some things out from the medicine cabinet. The exact same things Chifuyu used to treat the stranger’s wounds.
“You remind me of Hanagaki-kun a lot.” Taking a seat on the stool, she complaints. “That boy gets into fights every other week like it’s a habit.”
“Hanagaki...kun?”
A suspicion pops up in Chifuyu’s head.
“Yeah, Hanagaki Takemichi-kun. That boy keeps coming back to this infirmary in the last two months ago.” She tells the story while she treats Chifuyu’s wounds.
“Does he have blond hair, by chance?” He asks to confirm his suspicions.
“Yes! Did you meet him?”
“Ye...nope?” He decides to lie.
“Well, if you see him get into a fight, please stop him. I don’t want to keep seeing him come in here all bruised and battered.”
“Sure.”
A week later, Chifuyu skips a class again in the infirmary. Not because he got into a fight again, but in hopes of seeing the boy named Hanagaki Takemichi. It’s the third time this week that he’s skipped class in the infirmary to wait for the boy.
Where is he?
In the meantime, he should really work on his Japanese assignment which he didn’t turn in. The teacher threatened him and told him that if he fails the class, he will stay behind a year. It sucks, but what can he do?
He plays around with the pen in his hand, twirling around as he leans back to the office chair belonged to the nurse. His feet are on the table, relaxedly crossed atop the assignment paper which is still empty beside the kanji of his name on the top right corner.
He’s supposed to write a poem, but how? He’s the least poetic person in this world. Maybe a poem about cats? Or about Toman?
I can’t do this.
Chifuyu slumps in his seat, pouting as he stares at the empty paper.
Then, the infirmary door slides open. His head perks up and...
Hanagaki Takemichi.
The boy is all better. His wounds healing nicely, his uniform is unscathed and tidy, and for the first time, Chifuyu meets his bright, blue eyes. The boy stares at him in surprise, not expecting to see him again.
“It’s you,” he says as he closes the door behind him slowly.
“You’re Hanagaki Takemichi, right?” Chifuyu corrects his sitting position, leaning over the desk with enthusiasm.
“How do you... never mind.” Takemichi shakes his head, clutching the paper bag close in his chest. “What are you doing here? You don’t seem like you need to get treated again.”
“Nothing, I just wanna skip class. You?”
With a skeptical look, Takemichi nods. “Okay then, uh, as for me, I’m returning the jersey.” He looks at the paper bag in his arms.
Chifuyu smiles at the boy. “Glad to see you with no fresh injuries.”
Suddenly nervous, Takemichi flinches. “Ye- yeah...”
Seeing this, Chifuyu scans the boy from top to bottom again, realizing that the boy is missing a pair of shoes on his feet. His smile falters and turns into a scowl.
“Who did this?”
Takemichi walks over to the cabinet to place the jersey there. “Who did what?”
“Your shoes. You’re missing your shoes.”
“I...” Shutting the cabinet close, Takemichi stands idly for a moment. “I lost them.”
“You can’t keep lying to me.” Chifuyu just wants to help him.
“I can, actually.” The boy turns around to meet Chifuyu’s eyes, leaning his body against the cabinet. “I don’t even know your name. Lying to you shouldn’t be a problem to me.”
“Chifuyu. Matsuno Chifuyu.” He says quickly. “Now tell me the truth.”
“Not sure if I wanna.”
“Why?”
“You’re just gonna make them stop for a while, but they’ll still continue after.” Something in the way Takemichi talks tells Chifuyu that he’s already had a similar experience before.
Maybe he reported his bullies and it didn’t work?
“I just can’t stay silent.” Chifuyu firmly explains. “If I stay quiet when I know what you’re going through, that would mean I’m no better than those people.”
He keeps everything vague, not using the words like “bullies” and any terms associated with the word.
“You can help.”
Immediately, Chifuyu perks his head up. “How?”
“We can talk.” Somewhat shy, Takemichi rubs his nape. “It would help more than you think, you know.”
A little bit disappointed that Takemichi didn’t ask him to beat up his bullies, but whatever, this is enough. “Okay. Okay! We can be friends.”
For the first time, Takemichi smiles. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
Chifuyu replies to the smile with another smile. “Okay, Takemichi. What class are you in? I rarely see you around.”
“I’m in class 2-1. How about you, Chifuyu?”
It’s a bit embarrassing that they’re already using first name basis towards each other, but Chifuyu doesn’t mind.
“I’m in class 2-5. Our classes are so far, maybe that’s why we never bump into each other.” Or maybe it’s because Chifuyu skips school a lot, but let’s just keep that to ourselves.
Takemichi hums, voice wistful. He goes over to the window and sits there. “What are you writing?” He refers to the empty and crumpled piece of paper on the desk.
“An assignment...” Chifuyu slumps in his seat again, remembering that he’s got an assignment to turn in at the end of the semester. “I need to make a perfect poem, or I might get held back a year.”
“Isn’t that an assignment due two weeks ago?”
“I know! Shut uuuup!” He sulks, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
Takemichi chuckles at the sight. “Maybe I can help?”
“You will?”
“Yeah. I won’t write it for you, but I can help in some ways.”
“Dude, thank you so much.”
Starting to look for inspirations, Takemichi looks at the ceiling. “As for the topic, maybe you should decide about what you wanna write.”
“Yeah, I’m stuck there.”
“Do you have anything that you like?”
“Cats...?”
“Then you should write about them.” Takemichi suggests.
“I want something more extravagant. Writing about cats probably won’t be very graceful or deep, would it?” Chifuyu scratches his head. As much as he loves cats, he doesn’t want to write a full-on poem about them.
“Okay, then, maybe something you’re currently interested in?”
To refresh his memories, Chifuyu looks around the room. Nothing comes up to his mind until he looks at the window.
“Something that I’m interested in, huh?”
Takemichi is there, blonde hair shining as sunshine bleeds through the gaps of the strands of his hair. His skin, although full of yellow and greens, is fair and pale under the sunlight, while his sapphire eyes are vivid and deep. The wind blows on his unruly hair gently as he brushes them aside to see clearer.
Chifuyu feels a smile creep up his face, along with a strange warmth enveloping his cheeks. It feels nice and his stomach tickles a little bit.
“I found it.”
“Great! What is it about?” Takemichi beams, his bright smile competing with the sun, and in Chifuyu’s opinion, he might win.
With a mischievous chuckle, Chifuyu replies, “It’s a secret.”
Betrayed, Takemichi pouts. “Wow, mean.”
“It’s something beautiful. Brighter than the sun. Strong, courageous. Jewels, a field of sunflowers, and summer.”
The boy blinks, embarrassed with the way Chifuyu stares at him while saying all of those.
“Great! That, uh, that can be the first line.” Takemichi looks away, watching the people outside play dodgeball. “Maybe just put in more detail, you know? But you can also go simple, if that’s what you want.”
Chifuyu nods. “Simple is good enough.” He starts writing on the paper, enthusiastic and energized.
“Good. You look inspired.”
“Yeah, directly seeing what I’m writing about helps.”
Realizing what he just said, Chifuyu puts his hands over his mouth.
Oops.
Takemichi blushes, hard. His skin is no longer stained with bruises but pretty dusts of red. He fidgets around, suddenly self-aware.
“Takemichi,” Chifuyu calls out.
“Yes?”
“Can we meet here again next week, same time like today?”
Silence stretches.
“Of course.”
For the first time in forever, Chifuyu has something to look forward to, and today’s the day where he meets with Takemichi in the infirmary.
Like usual, he waits in the infirmary, sitting on the office chair while he brainstorms for the things he should write in his poem. He tries hard, but as expected, he couldn’t come up with anything if Takemichi isn’t in his line of sight.
Hanagaki Takemichi.
Chifuyu even dares to call this a crush. A fleeting sense of fluttering butterflies shows up in his stomach whenever he thinks of the boy. The boy with a blinding smile and strong will, blue eyes like a pair of jewels.
His heart beats faster in the anticipation of seeing him.
Click.
The door opens and once again, it’s Takemichi.
Chifuyu smiles so wide that his cheeks hurt. He jumps up from the chair from joy. “Takemichi!”
The happiness is short-lived. It turns into rage when he sees that Takemichi is covered with small burns across his arms. Chifuyu feels his heart drop to his stomach as he rushes over to Takemichi.
He grabs both of Takemichi’s arms to examine every single burn. They don’t seem new, covered in salve and drying, but the sight still makes Chifuyu’s stomach twist. This is just too much.
“Please, just tell me their names and I’ll kill them.”
Takemichi flinches, hearing such strong word being used. “No way! Don’t kill... not for me.”
“What am I supposed to do, then? Watch you suffer?” Chifuyu trembles from unexplainable fury. “Seeing you like this hurts me too.”
“Interfering will just make it worse!” A raise in Takemichi’s voice causes Chifuyu to jolt. “Just, let me handle this. It will end soon.”
“I can’t stand this.”
“Me neither, but I have no choice.”
“Make me your choice. I’m strong, I can fight them.”
“They— they have an advantage over me.”
No. A blackmail?
“What is it?” Chifuyu is actually afraid to know, but he’s more afraid to see Takemichi get hurt.
Takemichi bites his lower lip, quivering as he holds back the welling tears. Seeing this breaks Chifuyu’s heart so much, he couldn’t bear it. He pulls Takemichi into a tight hug, burrowing Takemichi’s face into his shoulder so that he doesn’t need to see him cry.
“Okay, I won’t interfere.”
Takemichi hums in between his sobs.
“Just promise me this will definitely end.”
A beat of silence.
“I promise.”
Each time Chifuyu meets Takemichi in the infirmary, he adds a line or two in his poem, and each time they meet, Takemichi is hurt.
Either he’s covered in curry broth, new scars or bruises, missing uniform attribute, soaked hair, and plenty more things. Chifuyu can do nothing but watch him suffer in silence. He knows that interfering wouldn’t end the whole thing.
He trusts Takemichi. He trusts that Takemichi will keep his promise.
“Hey, Takemichi.”
“Hm?” Takemichi looks up from his phone. He’s laying down on his stomach on the bed as he waits for Chifuyu to finish his poem. “What is it?”
“Do you like movies?” Chifuyu has been thinking of asking Takemichi for a movie night all week, but he’s not sure if Takemichi likes movies.
“I guess...? I watch them casually.”
Chifuyu smiles at the answer, dropping his pen on the desk to put his full focus on Takemichi. “What’s your favorite movie?”
“Hm, maybe Pride and Prejudice?”
The answer is unexpected.
“Why?”
“It was my ex-girlfriend’s favorite movie.”
“Alright.” Chifuyu confirms calmly, then realizes. “You have an ex?!”
“Rude! Yes, I do.” Sitting up on the bed, Takemichi huffs.
“If I may ask, why did you both uh, break up?”
Takemichi stares at Chifuyu for a while and Chifuyu thinks about how he might just mess up. He waits for the answer, sitting stiffly as they stare at each other.
Holding out an arm, Takemichi twists it to reveal the scars there. “Do I need to explain further or?”
Of course it has something to do with the bullying.
“No, it’s okay.” Chifuyu denies quietly. “Back to the topic, I was wondering if, you know—”
Takemichi waits for Chifuyu to continue.
“If you wanna watch a movie together? We can watch, uh...” Chifuyu tries to hide his red cheeks by sinking his head lower to the desk and covering his face with his arms. “We can watch Pride and Prejudice together, if you want.”
“Oh,” Takemichi exclaims under his breath, his ears reddening. “Of course, sure, um, my place?”
“Okay! This weekend?”
“This weekend.”
Weekend comes, unusually slower than usual, and Chifuyu is inside of Takemichi’s room.
He sits stiffly on the rug, facing the TV in front of him as he waits for Takemichi to return from outside. He said that he’s getting some snacks for them to eat while they watch the movie, but he sure is taking his time.
Whatever, Chifuyu can wait for him, even if it’s a thousand years.
He looks around, finding the room to be spacious and tidy, thinking that it would look messy in the past. He chuckles to himself, never in a million years that he expected to sit in the room of a boy that he randomly treated a few months ago.
Silently, he hopes that he could come to this room more often and get closer to Takemichi so that he will be completely transparent. Right now, Takemichi is so distant and closed off. It’s hard to make him open up, especially about the whole bullying thing.
However, Chifuyu is confident that in the future, Takemichi will tell him all about it.
As he ponders about many things, Takemichi enters the room with a bunch of snacks in his arms. He puts all of them on the table for Chifuyu to pick. An assortment from salty things like potato chips to sweet confectionary like candies are available. He turns off the light before sitting down.
“Should we start the movie?” Takemichi asks as he settles next to Chifuyu, making a little bit of space between them.
The space is too wide for Chifuyu, so he scoots closer. “Sure.”
The boy notices how Chifuyu closes the distance between them and stammers, “Uh, okay, the- the remote—”
“Here.” Chifuyu grabs the remote from Takemichi’s bed and hands it to him.
“Thanks. Here we go.” He pushes on the button and turns on the TV, then presses play.
The movie plays and Chifuyu is immediately infested in the movie. The dialogue, the cinematography, and the characters, everything is wonderful. It makes your heart clench, throb, and beat faster in every scene. You couldn’t help but to feel what the characters are feeling.
The pining too, is something that Chifuyu relates to.
Then, the confession scene comes on screen. The romantic infamous line is said by Mr.Darcy towards Elizabeth, the yearning in his voice painful yet sweet at the same time. As he enjoys the scene, he suddenly hears soft sobs from the person next to him.
Chifuyu turns his head to see Takemichi watch the screen with wide eyes while tears pour out of those blue eyes of his.
You have bewitched me, body and soul
Takemichi’s tears slide down his fair skin with every blink of his eyes. The light from the television is reflecting on his skin, highlighting his features with a soft glow.
And I love, I love
He inhales short and soft breaths through his parted lips, puffy from how much he nibbled on it.
I love you
Once the scene ends, a smile spreads on his face, wide, and bright, and perfectly fitting on his face.
I never wish to be parted from you from this day on
Hanagaki Takemichi is pretty and Matsuno Chifuyu could not resist.
He leans closer to Takemichi, hovering over the boy, closes his eyes, and kisses.
It’s a short-lived kiss as Chifuyu pulls away first, seeing an adorable sight of Takemichi, wide-eyed with tints of different shades of red blooming across his face. His lips are parted and red, also wet from his own tears.
Chifuyu just kissed Takemichi.
Repeat that again, Chifuyu just kissed Takemichi.
He realizes what he had done and sits back down. His mind is going into overdrive, cheeks warmer than the summer sun and redder than the apple he ate this morning. He really just got carried away by the movie and kissed Takemichi without any second thought.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t thinking... I- I shouldn’t...” Chifuyu stutters out, looking away from Takemichi.
“No, no- it’s, um, It’s okay.” Takemichi replies breathlessly.
“I’m so sorry, Takemichi, if you want to leave, I can—”
“Don’t!” Takemichi raises his voice, so loud that he’s sure that his mother could hear from downstairs.
Surprised by the reaction, Chifuyu collects the courage to look at Takemichi again.
Through red cheeks and blushing ears, Takemichi repeats, “Don’t. Stay here.”
“Are you sure?”
“I have never been this sure.”
“Okay.”
“What movie do you wanna watch next?”
Meeting Takemichi always feels like a dream.
There’s always a soft glow around him, bright, blinding, dreamy, sweet, pretty. He makes Chifuyu feel all warm inside, with a little bit of butterflies fluttering around his whole body, he feels tingly and unarguably happy.
After the kiss they had in Takemichi’s room, Chifuyu couldn’t attend their usual meeting in the infirmary because of an emergency assembly from Toman for that week, so he decides to go to Takemichi’s class instead the day after. He wants to apologize for making Takemichi wait for so long, as the school nurse said it, he waited until the sun sets.
He strides in the hallway with clouds floating around his head, couldn’t wait to meet his muse, Hanagaki Takemichi.
As he arrives in front of the classroom, he peeks inside to look for Takemichi’s striking blond hair amongst brown and black hair. After looking for a while, he couldn’t seem to find the person he’s looking for, even when he’s checked multiple times.
His stomach stirs with anxiety.
He asks one of the classmates about Takemichi, but they only said that Takemichi hasn’t attended class today. Chifuyu frowns at the news. Is Takemichi sick? He’s okay, right? Is he avoiding Chifuyu after their kiss?
Many questions pop out inside of Chifuyu’s head, but he decides not to assume things.
He leaves with a heavy chest, with the hope that he could meet Takemichi again tomorrow.
He comes to the class the day after, no Takemichi.
Then, the day after.
And after.
And after.
Exactly one week passes.
Without thinking much further, Chifuyu skips class to visit Takemichi in his home. The whole trip there, his phone keeps on buzzing in his pocket. He turns it off due to the distraction.
In front of the house, he knocks on the door, and Takemichi’s mother answers it immediately. Chifuyu asks for the boy, but the mother is reluctant to tell him about the details of his condition currently. She says that Takemichi has been locking himself in his own room for one week straight.
Chifuyu asks if he could try to persuade Takemichi and the mother is hesitant to allow him, but she does in the end.
Now, he’s standing in front of Takemichi’s room.
“Takemichi, It’s Chifuyu.”
He doesn’t even know whether Takemichi is listening or not.
“Um, I’m sorry for missing our daily appointment. I had an urgent business.”
The silence makes Chifuyu wonders if Takemichi is actually inside.
“Anyways, I wanna ask if you’re okay. It’s been a week.”
I miss you.
“School feels incomplete without you... and- and I can’t complete my poem without you, you know.”
Chifuyu hesitates telling Takemichi about the subject of his poem, but he forces himself to say it.
“You’re the inspiration to my poem, after all. It’s a poem for you.”
A poem made with all my heart.
“I’m not poetic, so, it’s full of unromantic words, but I tried my best.”
A beat of silence.
“I want to hurry up and read it to you.”
Something big swells in his throat.
“So hurry up, come back to me.”
I love you.
Chifuyu doesn’t dare to say.
“Um, I’ll be going now. See you next week, okay?”
He stalls there for one more minute, hoping that Takemichi would open the door for him last minute. He doesn’t.
Chifuyu looks at the door for the last time and turns away, heading to the exit.
He thanked Takemichi’s mother for allowing him in with a tone full of regret for not being able to persuade his son. The mother smiled and bid him farewell. Chifuyu walks home.
In the middle of going home, he turns on his phone to see what caused it to buzz so much earlier. He flips it open and sees that it’s a broadcast. Without further considerations, he opens the message and—
Oh, it’s a picture.
Of Hanagaki Takemichi.
Wait, what are those people doing to him?
Clack.
The phone drops to the ground.
He’s shaking.
He’s scared.
So scared.
No.
His knees are weak, but he tries his best to move them. He turns around, back to the direction of Takemichi’s home, and he runs.
He runs, the faster that he’s ever ran.
His heart is thrumming against his chest, so hard that it might burst.
A prickling pain is suffocating his throat.
His eyes are hot.
Tears are falling down.
Once again, he’s in front of Takemichi’s home. He knocks the door with urgency and when Takemichi’s mother opens it, he barges in with no regards towards the mother. He runs to Takemichi’s room and opens the door, unlocked.
Ah.
He’s filling his ears with white noise.
Takemichi.
He’s filling his head with white noise.
Takemichi.
His eyes are blurry.
Takemichi.
He’s hanging there, a rope on his neck.
He said that it would end.
Matsuno Chifuyu is crushed.
Liar.
With weak legs, he steps forward, noticing a note under Takemichi’s lifeless body.
”I told you that it would end, didn’t I?”
Chifuyu couldn’t breathe. He never thought that it would end this way.
His chest hurts so much that he couldn’t even let out a scream, everything is stuck in his throat. Tears couldn’t even pour out anymore.
The sight of Takemichi without the same bright, shining smile is numbing.
He feels numb.
A gasp from behind him. It’s probably Takemichi’s mother.
A thump. She’s falling onto the floor.
Chifuyu starts, “Hey, Takemichi.”
The ceiling creaks from Takemichi’s weight.
“When you said it would end, I was so relieved to hear that you still have the strength to go on.”
The body swings slowly inside the dark room. Chifuyu just now realizes that the movie Pride and Prejudice is playing on the TV. It’s the confession scene right now.
“I trusted you. I trusted what you said.”
You have bewitched me, body and soul
“I thought we’d have more time.”
And I love, I love.
“I thought night would never come.”
I love you
“I thought my sun will never set.
I never wish to be parted from you from this day on
“I thought I could feel your warmth much longer.”
Chifuyu finally falls to the ground, kneeling before the horrid sight.
Right.
Left.
Right.
Left.
The body keeps swinging.
“I miss you more than anything.”
The day of the funeral comes. Chifuyu attends.
He’s dressed in all black, even his hair is dyed black.
When his sun is no longer shining, how could he not be enveloped in darkness?
He sits among the other people attending the funeral. Some of the faces are familiar, probably from his school. Takemichi’s classmates.
The ceremony proceeds normally, the sound of Takemichi’s mother sobbing playing in the background.
Time to pay respects.
Chifuyu walks to the altar and stares at the picture there. Takemichi is still smiling brightly there, his blue eyes like sapphire. He rummages through the pocket of his jacket, pulling out a crumpled paper covered with tear stains.
He turns to face Takemichi’s mother. “Mrs.Hanagaki, may I read a poem for your son?”
She looks taken aback, but nods anyway.
Chifuyu opens the crumpled paper, one tear away from falling apart. Looking at it makes him want to cry again. His knees are giving up soon.
“This is a poem for Hanagaki Takemichi. A friend of mine that I care for deeply.” He could hear Takemichi’s mother sob louder at his words. “The title is ‘We Take Things for Granted’, by Matsuno Chifuyu.”
Crap, why is he tearing up again.
“Um,” he exhales a trembling breath.
Sapphire eyes, you wear them like jewels
Make me drunk in your smile, bask me in your light
You melt me like snow on a winter morning
So warm, unreachable, and—
Who am I kidding, this isn’t like me
Let’s start again.
Hanagaki Takemichi,
I wish you’d know how much I look forward to hurting
Because by then, I’d have a reason to meet you
But every time we met, you’re covered in purple
In purples, blues, and greens
Some other days, in reds
You break my heart with every broken skin on your body
Then piece it all together back again with your smile
But I don’t mind
I don’t mind if it’s you who breaks my heart
You can do it all over again
Because it’s you
And only you
Each day, I wish that I was Mr.Darcy
So that I could swoon you with beautiful words
Whisper sweet nothings into your ears
I wish I could say “And I love, I love, I love you.”
But I couldn’t, because I’m a coward
Because I’m not Mr.Darcy
Ad you’re not Elizabeth
I’m just a guy with a poem assignment
And you’re a dude who happens to get hurt a lot
Please, break my heart again
Break it so you could piece it back together
Break it so that I know you’re still there
Break it so that I could feel again
Break it, but don’t lose it
Now that you’re not here
I just realized that we take things for granted
We take things for granted each time we meet in the infirmary
Thinking we’ll have tomorrows
And the day after
The day after that
It turns out we don’t
We take things for granted
Thinking I’ll have other days to say that you’ve bewitched me
Because you have, in fact, bewitched me
So bad that you’re all I could think of
Seeing the sun reminds me of you
Warm and beautiful
Exactly like you
Now that I know we don’t have tomorrows
I’ll say it today, proudly
Hanagaki Takemichi,
You have bewitched me, body and soul,
and I love, I love, I love you.
I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.
Because my broken heart is a proof of your existence.
And you will forever stay there.
Good bye.