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"Hey, Big Guy! It's me again. I'm just going to dump some stuff on you if that's okay," she pauses, "Psh! I don't know why it wouldn't — I mean you did make me to have these emotions and-." Ella drops her phone on the ground because she forgot she was holding it as she moved her hands around while she was talking. She laughs at that, then continues.
" Anyway , I just need to vent again. As usual. Not that there's anything new going on, but I still wanna yell about it," she looks to the ceiling for a moment and pushes a strand of her hair back, then sits down.
"Ever since Dan died, I've been looking for a way to make sure I'm being the best version of myself that I can possibly be. Because that's what he would've wanted, right ? He wouldn't have wanted his death to make everyone lose it — he would have wanted his death to help us in some way, even if we didn't know it. So, I'm trying," she rubs her nose and sniffles as she wipes a tear falling on her cheek, "I'm trying to accept my darkness. I'm trying to see the light. I'm trying so hard, Big Guy, but it's so hard. Everyone is leaving, and I'm going to have to deal with all of this mess alone. I don't know what to do," Ella pauses and lets out a noise that sounds similar to a whimper, and presses her lips together as more tears make their way down her cheeks.
"I just feel so lost. And maybe that's okay! Maybe this is something I just have to work through. Maybe it's okay to feel like this; but that doesn't help how much it hurts." Ella walks over to the side of the room and grabs the tissue box that is sitting on the chair, and she blows her nose and wipes her eyes. She lets out a sigh.
"Thank you. Thank you for listening."
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Lucifer was asleep before he was awoken by Ella's prayer, and he frowns after hearing it. With everything going on, he failed to ever think about how much Ella must have been struggling.
"Miss Lopez," he whispers, almost as a response to her prayer. She probably couldn't hear him though, right?
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Ella heard him.