Chapter Text
Sapnap loved his partners, truly.
There were many times the three of them would be hanging out, certain days they’d all stick together like glue, or sometimes they all knew when the other needed personal space. It was one of the things they all got into routine easily, especially having known each other for so long. Plus, knowing each other was an understatement if Sapnap had to talk about it- he could tell when George was nervous about something, often fidgeting just a little but managing to keep his demeanor calm to anyone else who didn’t know him as well as he did, or when Dream was secretly wanting to say something; having moments where he’d excessively clean something while lingering by and either trying to engage eye contact or keep none.
Sometimes when George was irked, Sapnap and Dream would do their best to just find something to help a little, always doing their best to not get on his bad side. It’s not like it happened often, more so because it worked. It worked doing their best, because no matter how upset George was, one of them could just make him crack a small smile and he’d admit he wasn’t sure how to explain it, to which the both of them insisted he could try and they’d try to put it together.
Or sometimes when Dream had a hard day, he’d go in his room and would forget to keep track of time, too deep in his own world of thoughts to notice the call of dinner from when it was George or Sapnap’s turn to cook. Without any doubts, the two would go to his room, make him eat first, and then either let him cry it out, yell it out, or even just talk about it. Whatever he did worked for all of them, and it would either usually end up in long cuddles or some space to cool down.
It always worked though, Sapnap knew that, especially when George did his best to apologize over an argument by leaving a small candy on his desk due to the male’s own stubbornness, but the understanding was there. Or also when Dream would just go into Sapnap’s room, lay on the bed, spilling apologies like it were his last breath every time, and in the end Sapnap could forgive them both. No matter what they argued about - whether it was stress, dishes, space, they could usually make it work, because that was their dynamic.
It was the small things Sapnap found easy, how easily their puzzle pieces stuck together.
Until they didn’t.
Everything was going fine, there was communication and an understanding between them. The trio.
Until there wasn’t.
Maybe he wasn’t good at picking hints, or maybe he wasn’t as good at analyzing as he thought- cause everything seemed fine. Until he started to notice one of them would be a little further on the couch, or a hug and cuddle was quickly forgotten about moments after. Sure, maybe after that he should’ve figured something was wrong, but his head gave every excuse there was in the book.
That was until one day there was too much of a change in their routine that was hard to ignore.
Sapnap started to notice this as soon as he walked into the kitchen one morning, immediately seeing the two talk about something as if telling some sort of gossip. There was no good morning, not even a glance, just a look at their own plates and each other. First, it definitely threw Sapnap off. What threw him off more was the look he got as both of their gazes were set on him, both having a certain look he had yet to understand, and then silence. The best he could describe it like was some sort of shock and guilt, looking at him as if he were some awkward random friend staying over at their house.
Before the question could escape his lips, the dirty blonde stood up and smiled timidly, “I’m gonna head in my room now,” and before Sapnap could ask what was wrong, the dish was left in the sink and the tallest male practically sped walked to his room.
Sapnap would’ve minded, especially since he was doing dishes today, though a certain brunette’s voice stole his attention.
“Of course, had to leave me here huh,” The slight passive aggression in his voice was as recognizable as ever, though the look in his eyes told the male to not question it. Standing up from his seat, George walked to the counter and placed his plate in the sink, having not yet spared a glance at Sapnap.
“Uhm, yeah-” Okay, he needed to find out what was wrong. “What happened?”
“Nothing,” A simple answer with a simple tone as he opened the fridge, “By the way, good morning Sap,”
“Oh- uh yeah, morning.” Didn’t they usually wake him up if he was late for breakfast? Did he sleep through it? But why did they have it without him - oh whatever, it was just breakfast, right? “Did you guys.. Wake me up?”
“Oh,” His answer was delayed for a moment, “Yeah, sorry Sapnap. If you want, you can have leftovers from yesterday.” Finally he was looked at, and a very small gesture of a smile was given as if it were a job. Wait, no - he shouldn’t think like that. “Why?”
“I uh, I dunno,” Confusion was still stapled to his brain, having an itch that was hard to decipher, “I’m just kinda used to the whole eating together thing, I suppose. Caught me off guard.” Communication was important, right? They had been good at that recently.
“Oh yeah, makes sense.”
So?
Was that it? No explanation? No tease of him oversleeping? Nothing?
For the first time, he felt a little insecure wanting an explanation.
That evening, Sapnap had kinda hoped either Dream would go to his room and apologize, or that he’d magically find a candy on his desk. Even then he just hoped for one of them to admit to whatever that was had happened and that it wasn’t his imagination.
Once it got a little later than he hoped, Sapnap let himself get up from his bed and figured watching television would help. Usually it did when he lived alone.
It’s not like he hadn’t watched TV in awhile, he does in his free time sometimes, or when he’s bored. But it’s been awhile since he’s had to go to some TV for some sort of internal moral support. Maybe he’d get over it, and tomorrow would be normal. Maybe today was just a weird day.
Grabbing his own phone, the male checked for any messages, holding back a sigh from his lips before he finally grabbed hold of the door handle and opened it. Quiet, as usual, and for some reason it comforted him.
As he walked through the hallway to the living room, his journey was stopped as he heard muffled laughter behind one of the bedroom doors. He would’ve brushed it off if it weren’t for another bubble of laughter heard.
Did they feel better? Should he go to them?
Of course- they were his boyfriends, why was he wimping out over people he’s known and adored for almost his whole life. Reaching for the handle, his bravery came to a close as shared kisses were heard, and the realization that the door was locked caved in. Right- it was just a locked door. But.. he really wanted to join in too.
“Pft, Dream!” The brit laughed, a sound of a chuckle was earned in return.
“What? C’mon, it’s funny!”
“Oh shut up, we might wake Sapnap.”
“Well-” A pause was heard before Dream responded with a held back snicker, “Oh my god- we sound like one of those married parents with their kid.”
“Oh shut up Dream, if he heard that you know how he’d get with you comparing him to a child.”
But they were lovers, he wasn’t some sort of child-
“I’m not saying he’s a child,” Sapnap could imagine Dream rolling his eyes playfully as he spoke, “I’m just saying from how we’re trying to be quiet and stuff.”
Why were they trying to be quiet? They knew he wouldn’t be asleep at this time, not usually, so why? There had to be a misunderstanding- definitely.
“Yeah, yeah, what’s next? You gonna call him a third-wheel?”
“What?? No!” Dream laughed, “What’s wrong with you? He’s not- he’s just- you know.”
“You know?”
What is he? Annoying? A bother? A third-wheel?
“Too much sometimes, you know?”
“Yeah?” The tone in George’s voice was unsure yet strict, and honestly it made Sapnap’s heart flutter a little. He felt protected, defended. Yet, surely he shouldn’t feel that way, Dream didn’t mean it harmfully, right?
“C’mon George, you know what I mean.”
There was silence now, and Sapnap wondered where they were in the room. Cuddling? Just sitting? One on the gaming chair? Were they standing?
“..We.. yeah, I know what you mean.”
Sapnap now despised the fact he knew them so well.
He knew the guilt in George’s voice so well, and the sigh of Dream’s so well. He hated it. It caused a bitter taste on his tongue and a sense of dread tense his jaw. Sapnap hated the fact the door was locked, the two inside and him standing outside like some sort of dog. Like he wasn’t meant to have a say in this conversation, like he wasn’t supposed to hear it. This was something he shouldn’t even be trying to listen to anyway. But his little trip to the living room brought him to this, hearing words that his memory was already getting ready to hold onto.
“We should tell him,” George’s voice was softer, more raw than anything.
“No way,” A quick response, “He lives with us, what are we supposed to do after it happens?”
“We can’t just keep lying to him, Dream, he’s Sapnap, not a child and not some animal, and he was our best friend. If he doesn’t understand then that’s-... then that’s fair.”
What was he supposed to understand? Why couldn’t they just talk about this with him? He was an adult just as much as they were, and they all worked together so well too. Did he do something wrong at some point? Maybe he forgot to do his laundry, or maybe he just did too much. But what was too much?
“Okay, uhm..” Dream spoke in an unsure manner, “We’ll tell him when we’re ready.”
“We have to do it together though,”
“Alright, sounds like a plan.”
Finally bringing himself to let go of the handle, suddenly going in and joining didn’t feel so good anymore.
Ever since, about 2 months had passed and Sapnap had the conversation printed in his mind, each word almost echoed in his brain and had its own room. It didn’t help once he heard everything, the thought of being too much made its own home in his mind.
Mornings were different now, he didn’t bother waking up at a certain time to see two smiles he loved greet him in the morning, instead he’d find himself waking up evenings and dinner already eaten. There were no glances at him that were filled with worry, no guilty vibe lurking, and no pitied glances. Instead now, he barely even saw them. They were either in their own rooms or hiding together in one, at this point not even bothering to muffle jokes flying by or the sound of affection bouncing off the walls. All Sapnap could do was grab a snack from the fridge, go to his room, and hope one candy would be found, or even a pair of emerald green eyes looking at him with something as small as an apology.
That never happened.
He stopped expecting it at the 5th month, leading to the 6th.
What did happen was he finally was able to make himself dinner and wake up as early as lunch. It wasn’t much but it was an improvement. Though Sapnap wondered if they’d seen him they’d be proud. Or maybe they’d give too much pity to even spare a glance.
As soon as he finished the meal, he washed his own dish and hoped they wouldn’t notice. Hoped they’d forget the plate should’ve been dry by now.
But he didn’t have to worry, they weren’t home.
It wasn’t a secret that they were on a date with each other. He had figured it out when George’s door was open and the calendar was left on his desk, there was written ‘Date’ with a marker. He knew very well it didn’t include him. Especially when he had seen it moments after they left.
Part of him was getting emotionally frustrated, the patience he had learned dissipating. How did they have the audacity to not even notice when he gets up? Not even check up on him? What kind of boyfriends were they? Whatever they had started hiding, Sapnap didn’t care anymore. He could declare it as stupid now. It was fucking dumb.
Sapnap didn’t feel bad when he grabbed a maker and scribbled out the word Date, instead feeling a sort of pride. Yeah, maybe it wasn’t much, but it was an ounce of the frustration he was growing.
Hell, Sapnap was kinda thankful now, a little proud of himself for doing so good so early on.
Okay, it was clear he wasn’t doing good when he didn’t have the energy to do much at the moment, but it was progress, way better than three month ago. At least, that’s what Karl said.
Sapnap was relieved as soon as he visited one of his friends, not being able to hold back a timid smile as he remembered Karl and Quackity lived together. Usually he thought he would have not had the energy, though the only reason this was happening was because his friends were actually worried. It’s not like he meant to make them worry, more so Karl texting him and somehow getting him to talk. Sapnap talked about what happened that morning, bits and pieces of the conversation he heard, and how long it had been happening.
“Why not break up with them?” Quackity had asked as if he hadn’t questioned that a month ago, laying upside down on the couch while glancing at Sapnap who was playing a game on the TV.
“I can’t break up with people I don’t see often,” He muttered, almost wanting to act like he was too focused on the game, “I’ve known them for so long too.”
Before Quackity could step up and make a comment that obviously could’ve been surprisingly motivating or oddly motivating, he kept going. “I also am afraid to talk to them about it, cause no matter what I know I might forgive them in the moment, “ Sapnap sighed, “..So instead,” The confidence in his tone grow a little, “I’m gonna use this time just to show them what they missed, and before they know it I’ll move out.”
“No way,” Karl laughed in an excited manner, “You plan to move?”
“Hell yeah!” Quackity had grinned, “You’ve got this Sapnap, I know you’re no little bitch.”
He couldn’t help but laugh a little to Quackity’s comment, “Thanks, and yeah I plan to move, I’ve just been debating whether to move alone or when or with wh-”
“You can live with us.” Karl spoke quickly, his cheeks going red for a moment before clearing his throat, “I mean, if you want to.”
Wow, that was honestly not what he expected. Except, he was still a little nervous at what Dream and George would think. It’s not like he didn’t love them no more, it was just hard to love someone who barely could keep a strong conversation with him like he was some stranger or animal for months. When that happens, being in your room and thinking about it too much ends up making it hurt just a tad bit less. Though it’s not like it didn’t hurt at all now. It did.
“Maybe,” Hesitance filled his voice as he put down the controller, “I can’t promise it though- that’s just in case I don’t manage to forgive them.” A frown made its way to his lips, and before it could get worse he felt two of the males at his side.
“Hey, just remember that even though they were assholes, it’ll be hard, but you have to remember to focus on how you feel about it. Not how they do.” Quackity spoke in a calm manner, Karl humming in agreement.
“Yeah, they may have a reason but- it’s not a good one if they had ignored you for wayyy too long. I mean, months? I’d get a day or two at most but months is…”
“Embarrassing.” The latino spoke.
“Kinda, it’s just- if they don’t have a good reason, just call us and we’ll walk you here.”
“Thanks guys,” Sapnap felt tears swell up in his eyes, doing his best to ignore them and blink them away as best as possible. It’s been awhile since he was told such nice words, it kinda made him miss his lovers, but as the male reminded himself this was Karl and Quackity, he couldn’t help but still adore the flutter in his heart for feeling so cared for. “I appreciate it.”
As he felt a thumb wipe the tear he didn’t know escaped, the two glanced at each other with soft expressions, looking at him after as if he were the most important thing in the world to them. He feels so loved, and god did Sapnap miss it.
“Of course, Sapnap,” Quackity cooed in an affectionate tone, no hint of jokes or playfulness given.
“Anytime.” Karl spoke as he interlaced their fingers.
For sure, Sapnap had missed this. They weren’t Dream or George, but that was the best part, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.