Archive of Our Own ^beta

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I: Luke Castellan

To: Annabeth Chase

Daughter of Athena

Camp Half-Blood, Half-Blood Hill

3.141 Farm Road, Long Island, NY

From: Luke Castellan

Son of Hermes

The Underworld

Dear Annabeth,

Nico di Angelo was visiting his father again yesterday, and I finally made up my mind to ask him to bring you this letter. I wasn't going to at first, because I was worried you wouldn't read it, but I know I owe you an apology and an explanation, so I have to at least try. That's the least of what I owe, actually, and so much less than you deserve, but it's the only thing I have left to give. You and Thalia were the only people I knew well enough to write to, not to mention that you're the ones I hurt the most, and we both know Thalia would probably lightning-strike this letter into a thousand tiny bits. So... that left you. Besides, I know you — you always have to know. Even if you'd rather burn this like Thalia would, you couldn't. You'd wonder for the rest of your life what I wanted to tell you, and you'd always worry it was something you should've read. So here you are, reading the last words of Luke Castellan. Or at least I really hope you are, or this will be a massive waste of time. Anyway — the reason I'm writing is to apologize, to explain, and to ask a favor that I really don't deserve.

So, first: I'm so, so sorry. I know Thalia won't forgive me, I know the others won't believe me, I know it doesn't change what I did — but there's a tiny, selfish part of me that hopes it'll make a difference to you. You and Thalia were my first family, and I destroyed that. I made you promises, and I broke them in a huge way. I got good people killed and I nearly destroyed the gods, all because I thought life wasn't fair and I was the person who could fix it. Agapitoí theoí , Annabeth, I almost killed you , my little sister . I will never be able to tell you how sorry I am, and even if I could, it still wouldn't be enough.

Instead, I want to tell you why. I won't make excuses for myself — what I did was unforgivable. I just hope it'll give you a bit of peace. I know how you are — unanswered questions are one of the things you hate the most.

I think, mostly, it was because I was angry. You probably know by now what happened to my mom, even though I never told you. Hermes visited exactly once, even though he knew perfectly well she wasn't well, and it felt like he'd abandoned me. Then I ran away and met you and Thalia, and I realized that the all-powerful gods don't give two cents about their bastard children like us. Then Thalia died, and I was so angry. It was like someone jammed a flaming brand in behind my heart. It was always, always burning and aching and reminding me that she was gone. Then I watched other demigods die on pointless quests, and I saw all the forgotten kids in Cabin Eleven, and I hated it. I wanted better for myself, I wanted Thalia to have had better, I wanted you to have better. I thought Kronos could help me fix things for us, maybe even bring Thalia back. So I guess, in the end... I did it because I thought I was helping you. Please don't feel guilty — I made all my own mistakes, and I never, never want you to feel like there was something you should've done better. I was arrogant, and thoughtless, and puffed up on my own hubris, and I'm sorry.

Lastly, a request: please, please don't let anyone else end up like me. Don't let people forget about me — not because I want to be famous, but so no one else makes my mistakes. And... I guess I just don't want to be forgotten. I'm going to drink from the River Lethe — I want a second chance. I'm going as soon as I give Nico this letter. It's terrifying, actually, knowing that in an hour or two I won't remember myself. But the thing that hurts most is knowing I'll lose you — and knowing that I deserve it. So please — if there's the tiniest part of your heart that still cares for me, don't forget me.

One more thing (I guess I lied about that being the last): I love you, I love you, I love you. You were the best little sister I could've ever asked for, and I'm so, so sorry I forgot that. I know I gave up the rights to call you my sister the second I fell in with Kronos, but I hope that ten or fifteen years down the line, you'll be able to think of me as your big brother again. I know to me you'll always be that tiny seven-year-old slip of a thing who tried to brain me with a hammer. I hope you'll forgive me one day, when you're old enough and far enough away from me that what I did doesn't hurt so much anymore.

Please tell Thalia she was my best friend, I love her, and that I'm sorry about everything except the fleece — she's the most vibrant, crazy, energetic person I've ever known, and she didn't deserve to die. Please tell Percy to look after you and treat you good or I'll track him down once I'm reborn and drop-kick him into next week. And please tell my father it wasn't his fault — most of it wasn't his fault, anyway.

I guess that's all I had to say — I hope it was enough for you. I love you, I'm sorry, I hope we'll see each other again, and I swear on the Styx that you'll always be dear to my heart, even beyond the banks of the Lethe.

I remain

Your brother

Luke Castellan

P.S. Goodbye

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II: Silena Beauregard & Clarisse LaRue

To: Clarisse LaRue

Daughter of Ares

Camp Half-Blood, Half-Blood Hill

3.141 Farm Road, Long Island, NY

From: Silena Beauregard

Daughter of Aphrodite

The Underworld

Dear Clarisse,

As you probably already know, Nico di Angelo agreed to take a handful of letters up to Camp Half-Blood for some of us down here. I've really been wanting a chance to talk to you before Charlie and I are reborn, but that's impossible. (Short of you dying in the next few days, which you should avoid.) This was the next best thing, so I wrote you a letter, and here it is, and here you are reading it.

And I'm rambling... sorry. I just — I'm afraid you're mad at me. We were best friends when I was alive, I think, and then I went and lost my head after Charlie died and I joined Kronos. Honestly, I don't know what I was thinking! Or, I guess I do — I thought Kronos could give me Charlie back. I mean, he's the Titan of Time, and he promised to fix everything. The worst thing that happened to me was Charlie dying, and I thought he could fix that, somehow. I'd like to say it was my mom's influence, that all her crazy romantic tendencies kicked in and I didn't really know what I was doing. I mean — she thinks the Trojan War was romantic! And that probably explains some of it, but mostly it was just me. Me being exactly the sort of romantic, lovesick airhead I told you I wouldn't be. Losing Charlie just drove me around the bend, I guess, and Kronos and Luke were right there to take advantage of it. Of me. Luke was actually the one who convinced me. That's part of the reason I did it, I guess. He was a guy I trusted for as long as I knew him, and even liked for a bit before Charlie. I didn't really figure out just how bad of a mistake I made until it was almost too late.

And you know the worst part? I can't bring myself to regret all of it. Not like I'd do it again — I'm really, really sorry I spied for Kronos. I know I got people killed and that I betrayed you, but now I'm with Charlie again. If I hadn't done all that, I would still be up there, where you are now, and I would've grown up, and fallen in love and got married, (I'm an Aphrodite girl, after all) and I would've moved on without Charlie. Please don't misunderstand — leaving you was one of the worst things, besides leaving Dad and Momma Lisbet and the boys. Maybe even the worst thing, since I don't see them all that much. You're my best friend, even though we're complete opposites. But in the end, I'd rather be with Charlie than anywhere else. I think you understand, what with how you feel about Chris Rodriguez.

And... this letter is getting super long and rambley. (Is that a word?) I know you don't like reading long, run-on things, so I guess I'll just wrap it up here. Also... I'm sorry I wrecked your chariot and your armor! I really meant to bring it back without a scratch, but then the drakon happened, and... yeah.

To summarize, just in case you went ahead and skimmed the whole thing instead of actually reading it (I know how you are): I messed up, I'm sorry I betrayed everybody, and I'm going to miss you tons and tons. I think Charlie and I are going to go to the Lethe. He thinks maybe if we do it together, we'll end up together again after we're reborn. So... cross your fingers, I guess. It'll be a few days for sure, though, so if you want to politely ask Nico to bring a letter down to me, there'll be plenty of time. Not that you have to! Just — if you want to, it would be really nice. And if you have the time, can you maybe explain what happened to my family and bring them my stuff? I know Chiron'll do it, but I think Momma Lisbet for sure will take it better coming from you, and not a centaur. (She know about everything but Chiron or Mr. D might be a bit much.)

Bye, Clarisse, I hope we get to see each other again someday! You're my best friend ever! (I mean, except Charlie, but that's different.) I hope you and Chris get together, because you're a great match. I also hope you're not angry with me, not for too long, anyway.

Your friend, Silena ~~

To: Silena Beauregard

Daughter of Aphrodite

The Underworld

From: Clarisse LaRue

Daughter of Ares

Camp Half-Blood, Half-Blood Hill

3.141 Farm Road, Long Island, NY

Silena,

I was never really mad at you, just upset about you leaving. So consider yourself forgiven. Tell Beckendorf to behave or I'll come kick his Hephaestus kólos. Hope you're happy, after you guys are reborn. I'll get Chiron to let me tell your family instead of him or one of those nutty satyrs or Mr. D, theoí apagorévoun. And for the last time, Chris and I are friends. Ares kids don't have time for all that sappy kopriá.

Your friend, Clarisse

P.S. I'll miss you too.

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III: Zoë Nightshade

To: Perseus Jackson

Son of Poseidon

Camp Half-Blood, Half-Blood Hill

3.141 Farm Road, Long Island, NY

From: Zoë Nightshade

Lieutenant of Artemis

Daughter of Atlas

The Underworld

Perseus Jackson, son of Poseidon;

I wish thee to deliver the missive accompanying this note to Thalia Grace at thy earliest convenience. The son of Hades was unable to approximate the location of the Hunt and I do not trust anyone else to deliver this. Do not get smug, I simply do not know any other who could reach Thalia who are not in the Hunt themselves. Except the daughter of Athena, but I do not trust that she will not lose this in a heap of blueprints. Thou art the very last resort.

Zoë Nightshade

Lieutenant of Artemis

Daughter of Atlas

To: Thalia Grace

Lieutenant of Artemis

Daughter of Zeus

c/o Perseus Jackson

Son of Poseidon

Camp Half-Blood, Half-Blood Hill

3.141 Farm Road, Long Island, NY

From: Zoë Nightshade

Lieutenant of Artemis

Daughter of Atlas

The Underworld

Thalia Grace, Lieutenant of Artemis, Daughter of Zeus;

It hast come to my attention that thou art the new lieutenant of the Hunt. I believe our Lady Artemis hast chosen well. Thy soul is strong and pure, and thou art courageous; these are rare things to find in one who has endured so much suffering. It is a hard path that thou hast chosen for thyself, but I know that thou hast the strength to tread it. If thou ever finds thyself in need of counsel, I reside in the fields of Elysium, as I will for a good many years. My life was long, and I have yet no desire to live again.

I write not only to commend thee (for all that though thou certainly is worthy of commendation) but to advise my worthy successor. Our Lady will test thee; not out of malice or distrust, but mercy. She will wish to know if thou art indeed strong and courageous, as thou appears, and it is better to discover such things early. If thou art unable to endure her trials, thou wilt certainly not be able to lead the Hunt. If ever she doubts thee, thou must labor twice as hard to prove thyself to her. Not only will thou earn her esteem with thy persistence, thou wilt prove thee to thyself. That is one of the hardest trials I have endured through all my years; I have no doubt it will also prove arduous to thee. Whatever comes, remember that thou art the chosen of our Lady and worth twice again as much as any other.

I wish also to remind thee that our Lady rises early, and is much more pleasant if met with a Lieutenant who also rises with the Lady Eos, goddess of the dawn. Thou must keep thine arrows sharp, and always two dozen in the quiver, for our Lady is particular concerning such things. Make certain the youngest of the Hunt pack their belongings correctly, and that thy wolves are bathed most thoroughly following long runs. Have a care that thy boots are not scuffed or dirty, for our Lady despises sloppiness. Set the eldest hunters the watches in the dark of night, or if thou must set the young ones to watch, then thou must set them in pairs. They will not wish to fall asleep before the other, and will compete within themselves to remain awake.

Besides advice and congratulations, I also give thee a reminder. Thou and I are of like mind, and I do not believe that thou wilt wish to leave our Lady for many years yet. But thou would do well to remember that though the years do not mark thy body, they will surely etch themselves into thy soul. If, someday, some man makes thee wish to leave the Hunt, I prithee, follow thy heart wherever it may lead thee. To love a man is not a weakness, and menfolk are not all of the breed of Orion and Heracles. That was a lesson I learned rather late, and I hope that thou wilt remember it better then I.

That is all I wished to tell thee, though mayhap I will think of something else and write to thee again.

May the Lady Athena guard thee in battle, the Lady Hestia guard thy hearth, and our Lady Artemis, goddess of the Hunt, always look fondly upon thee.

Kind regards,

Zoë Nightshade

Lieutenant of Artemis

Daughter of Atlas

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IV: Charles Beckendorf

To: Perseus Jackson

Son of Poseidon

Camp Half-Blood, Half-Blood Hill

3.141 Farm Road, Long Island, NY

From: Charles Beckendorf

Son of Hephaestus

The Underworld

Percy —

Silena was writing to Clarisse and I figured I probably oughta send you something, what with the Princess Andromeda and all. Wish to the Kindly Ones it'd gone the way we planned, but if only one of us could get out I'm glad it was you so don't go beating yourself up over it. I don't have any blood family worth mentioning anymore, which meant leaving Silena was the worst bit and she's with me now, anyway. Know I shouldn't be glad about that, but picturing her loving someone else hurt like bringing down a sledgehammer on your finger. We're gonna be reborn, so fingers crossed Silena's mom thinks we're tragic and sweet and we end up together after. Tell your stepdad (can't remember his name for the life of me) I'm sorry about the hoof prints on that snazzy car of his and that if he hasn't gotten it fixed already my sister Nyssa'll do it for free, since she likes working on cars. Di Angelo said some crazy Latino brother of mine put wings on my dragon, blew it up, turned it into a figurehead on a flying ship, and rebuilt the body from scratch. And that he found some ancient secret bunker in the woods, he's got the fire gift, and he's the head counselor now. Tell whatshisface he did good, not to do it again, and that Festus is a weird name for a dragon.

Guess that's all since Di Angelo is getting antsy waiting around on me. Make sure that nut looks after the Cabin 9 kids ok, specially Harley since he's the littlest.

—Beckendorf

PS — Better hurry up and marry Chase before you miss your shot, she's the second-best girl I ever met. —B

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V: Capt. Emily Zhang

To: Frank Zhang

Son of Mars

Camp Jupiter

Caldecott Tunnel, Berkeley Hills, CA

From: Capt. Emily Zhang

The Underworld

For my Frank,

I hope this letter gets to you okay. Nico seemed sweet (if a little flighty) so fingers crossed! He said you're not sure what happened to Grandma — honestly, I don't know either. I'm sure she's okay, though, so don't worry too much. She's a force of nature!

Anyway, how've you been? Nico said you were going out with his little sister Hazel, and he showed me a picture of her he had in his wallet. She looks lovely! I'll bet you two are adorable together. You'll have to see if you can talk him into bringing me some pictures of you two and all your friends, okay? Nico promised to bring a letter back from you. I want to know everything about everybody!

Of course by now you've found out everything about the gods and your dad and all — I hope it wasn't too big of a shock for you, kiddo. I did always worry about how you would take it. I thought if I told you all those stories about our ancestry, like they were just pretend, it would make it easier to talk about later. Nico said you figured out the shape-shifting, after a bit. I hope it wasn't too difficult for you. It took me years to figure it out! Of course Grandma was near-perfect at it, but then that's how she is with a lot of things. I think she got more Greek blood than I did. And of course I knew you'd be better at it than both of us eventually, what with your dad. I wish I'd gotten the chance to tell you everything myself, baby. I was planning on telling you everything when you were older, but then — well. I waited a little too long, huh, Frank?

You know, I've got this tiny subconscious voice in my head that sounds like Grandma. I don't suppose you've got one — I think it comes from her being my mom. Right now it's telling me I'm beating around the bush, and I suppose I have been, haven't I? You know I don't like plopping right into big talks, and this is probably the biggest talk we've ever had — even if it is a little one-sided. You'll have to bear with me a bit, kiddo.

I really am so, so sorry for leaving you like that, Frank. I just… I knew I could help my people, and I did, but then I got in a bad spot and I couldn't help myself and they couldn't get to me. It broke my heart, when I realized I wouldn't get back home to you. You were my whole world — you still are — and I would give almost anything to get back up there with my baby boy. I wished I was back home with you right then, but I couldn't — I can't — regret saving my people's lives. If it was just one of me or six of them, I decided it was better that less of us were lost. Even if it was so terribly unfair that you'd lose your mom, it would be so much worse if six other kids lost their mom or dad because I didn't help. I wish so bad it hadn't meant losing you, Frank. I know you're probably angry with me for leaving, and that's ok, baby. I'm pretty angry with myself about it, honestly. Hopefully one day — very far in the future — we can sit down and have a good, long talk about it.

Oh, I almost forgot — Nico said you were a praetor now! I'm so proud of you, Frank! I know it means you'll have fought some pretty hard battles, though. I wish you didn't have to do that, but I guess with a soldier for a mom and Mars for a dad, you couldn't exactly have gone into flower-arranging, huh? If I could I'd write down everything I ever learned about leading people for you in a book, but my best piece of advice is this: always remember that your soldiers are people. That means you can't send them to do something you wouldn't do yourself, and you can't just think about them like pieces on a game board. Sacrifices in battle and war are real, and they take lives. Thinking like that will make some decisions really hard, Frank, and that's okay. They should be hard decisions. Just make sure you keep your head above water and surround yourself with good, honest people who won't hesitate to let you know if you're doing something wrong or hurtful. (Like Hazel!) Having good friends will make all the difference.

Oh dear — I'm starting to run out of room! I guess I'd better wrap up, baby. Remember that I love you truckloads and that I'm super proud of you!

Lots of love, Mom

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

PS: Watch out for your firewood, okay? I want you to live a good long life up there before we get to see each other again.

Some more love, Mom

xoxoxoxox

PPS: Be good to Hazel! I want you two to be happy together for a long, long time, and you've got to have a good foundation for that.

A little more love, Mom

xoxoxo

To: Capt. Emily Zhang

The Underworld

From: Frank Zhang

Son of Mars

Camp Jupiter

Caldecott Tunnel, Berkeley Hills, CA

Dear Mom,

Your letter made it alright… and I guess that's obvious, since I'm writing back. Um, anyway — you're the only person I've ever heard who called Nico di Angelo "sweet." I think most of the demigods are kind of scared of him. He makes me a bit nervous, mostly because he's got this Grim-Reaper aura, but it makes him a lot less intimidating to know he keeps Hazel's picture with him.

Hazel is amazing, Mom! She's sweet, and funny, and brave, and she's an awesome fighter. We've been friends for a while — almost since I came to Camp Jupiter — and I'm still kind of in shock that she likes me back. She's technically older than me, because she was born in 1928, but she sacrificed herself to slow down Gaea in 1942 and then Nico brought her back to the world last year, when the Doors of Death had just been opened. So counting from her birthdate, she's almost ninety, but biologically she's about fifteen, so just a couple years younger than me. You almost don't notice that she's been pulled out of time, but then she doesn't know what a chicken nugget is because they weren't invented in the forties. You'd love talking to Hazel, Mom — her sense of humor is so close to yours and she likes the same weird stuff you do, like shrimp and eating butter straight from the tub.

I put a bunch of pictures for you in the envelope of everyone, like you asked, but I think most of them are of Hazel. Nico already showed you her picture, so I don't really need to describe her, I guess. Obviously you know what Nico looks like. Percy Jackson is a Poseidon kid, he's the one who looks kind of like Harry Potter (but without the glasses and the scar). He's a little older than me, and a crazy sword fighter. Because he's Poseidon's son he can control water, make mini hurricanes, talk to sea animals and horses, and breathe underwater. Percy's actually kind of goofy, but not in a dumb way — he's pretty sharp, he just jokes around all the time. Annabeth Chase, his girlfriend, is blonde with grey eyes and she's the smartest person I've ever met. She's actually kind of scary (not that I'd ever say that to her face), but she's also really nice. She's a daughter of Athena, which is a little weird for me as a Roman demigod since Minerva doesn't have kids, but apparently Athena kids spring from Athena's head like she came out of Zeus's head and they're gifts to mortal men she deems worthy. It's kind of weird.

Jason Grace is the all-American looking one with blue eyes and blond hair. He's Jupiter's son, so he can fly, control the wind, and summon lightning and storms. He's actually a sort of high priest now, and he makes sure all the minor gods get the recognition they deserve (mostly so they don't go on crazy power trips). He's also a little intimidating, but he's pretty laid back when you get to know him. His girlfriend is Piper McLean; she's the one with the feathers braided into her hair. Piper's Aphrodite's daughter, and her dad is Tristan McLean! You remember that old movie we used to watch all the time, with the unicorn girl and the space miners? He played Rafik! Isn't that crazy? Anyway, Piper's really nice, not like some of the Venus girls at Camp Jupiter. Jason's crazy for her, but I guess I can't really talk.

There's also Leo Valdez; he's the Latino boy. Jason said the first time they met for real he thought Leo looked like a crazy Latino Santa's elf, which suits him pretty well. He can make fire with his bare hands, and he doesn't get burned, so it was kind of weird with us at first, but we smoothed it all out. He's a Hephaestus kid. Then there's Calypso — the real Calypso, the one from the myths. Leo brought her back from Ogygia. None of us know her all that well yet, but she's been really friendly so far. Except with Percy, she's kind of awkward around him for some reason, but I think they're working on it. Calypso's the girl with the really long reddish-blonde hair. Last but not least, Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano (but never call her by her full name). She's the other Twelfth Legion praetor, and she can be really intimidating when she wants to be. She's a daughter of Bellona, so she can literally give you courage or determination in battle. Reyna's an amazing leader, so it's been super cool working with her. So… yeah, that's pretty much everyone. Oh, the Irish-looking girl in one of the pictures of Camp Half-Blood (the Greek camp) is Rachel Dare. She's the Oracle of Delphi, which means sometimes this green fog comes out of her mouth and she gives the Greeks prophecies for their quests. It's a little creepy, but it's more efficient than slicing open stuffed animals like we do at Camp Jupiter.

Learning about the gods and all was pretty freaky, but it also felt right, if that makes any sense. Like it was always that way, and I always knew it, but it was just something I forgot for a while. You know when you forget a song, and someone else starts singing it, and you recognize all the lyrics and stuff but you can't quite remember what comes next until they sing it? It was like that. When I found out about Mars being my dad, though — he sort of appeared in a pillar of flame to give a quest and then said, "oh, you're my son. Have a gift and don't die on this dangerous quest you get to lead." So that was kind of crazy. But we made it and saved the whole world, so it turned out ok.

I miss you a ton, and sometimes it still feels like you're just going to walk in the door and everything will go back to the way it was. I wish… I don't even know what I wish. I want you back, but if having you means other people lose their parents, it feels too selfish. I guess I'm just glad you could help and that we got to write each other. I don't think I'm angry — maybe a little — I don't really know. I'm looking forward to a good talk, though. But it's going to have to wait a really long time, hopefully. I gave my firewood to Hazel to hold onto, and I want her to be the one to keep it for the rest of our lives. I feel a lot safer when she has it.

Thank you for all the advice about being praetor. It's kind of scary, being in charge of so many people, especially since if something goes wrong Reyna and I will be the ones at least partly responsible. But we make a really good team, so I don't worry as much now as I used too.

Sheesh, this was a lot longer than I though it was going to be. My hand is kind of sore now, haha. I love you tons and tons and I promise to be careful! And I'm definitely going to take care of Hazel. If I don't, Nico will — I actually don't know what he'd do, but it would be pretty bad. But I'll be good to her, anyway, for as long as she wants me.

Love, your son Frank

xoxoxoxoxo

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Epilogue: Nico di Angelo

Nico di Angelo was intimately familiar with every nook and cranny of his father's palace. It wasn't that he spent that much time there — more that he just knew where each door went and which hallway led where. It had unnerved him when he first realized why he'd never gotten lost, but he'd since grown accustomed to the sixth sense — even depending on it, at times.

So it was that one evening in autumn found Nico wending his way to his father's throne room, leaning heavily into the barely-there shadow in his mind that knew the way and letting it guide his feet. When Nico emerged from the shadowed corridor, Hades was reclining in his stark, pitch-black throne at the far end of the chamber, gazing out the tall, arched windows onto the Fields of Asphodel.

"You… wanted me, Father?" Nico said hesitantly, more than a little worried he'd somehow landed himself in disgrace. Hades straightened in his throne, turning from the windows and flicking his hand curtly for Nico to stop lurking in the doorway and come here.

"It has come to my attention," Hades rumbled sternly as Nico stopped a few feet from the dais, "that you have enabled communication between the dead and the living."

Nico felt something in his stomach shrivel up into a cold, hard rock. He'd really been hoping his father wouldn't notice. "I — um — are you cer—?"

"Am I certain?" Hades demanded. "Did you truly believe I wouldn't notice, you foolish child?"

Nico ducked his head, cursing himself up one side and down the other for letting that silver-tongued Hermes spawn persuade him to break one of his father's most stringently enforced rules — and for continuing to do so just because — because —

"I just thought they should have a chance to say goodbye, Father," he burst out, surprising the both of them. "I didn't get — a chance," he mumbled, faltering under his father's affronted ire. "Not — not for either of them."

Hades stared at him for a long minute, then let out a long, weary sigh, almost seeming to deflate. "Come here," he murmured, gesturing for Nico to come closer. "Sit with me for a moment."

Cautiously, Nico mounted the shallow steps of the dais and perched himself on the arm of his father's throne, abruptly aware of just how much taller Hades was. Though the god was by no means a giant — he kept himself around seven feet, if that — Nico had always been slight for his age, and his father towered over him by nearly two feet. The difference in height was glaring, as close as they were sitting, and it made Nico feel far younger than he was.

They sat in fragile silence for a moment, Nico pulling his legs up onto the arm of the throne to sit cross-legged as the quiet stretched. "What was my mother like?" Nico asked finally, tentatively hopeful that his father's odd mood might lend itself towards an answer.

Hades frowned at him contemplatively. "I had thought some of your memories had resurfaced?" he inquired.

Nico fixed his eyes on his scuffed black boots, twisting his fingers in the laces. "A few, I guess, but I still don't really know much about her. I mean — I know she loved us, but…" He trailed off, suddenly at a loss for words, and hunched his shoulders. Hades sighed again, and Nico twitched as his father brushed his hand ever so lightly over Nico's dark hair.

"Your mother was… much like your sister," Hades said softly, "and much like you, also."

Nico flicked a surprised glance at his father out of the corner of his eye, startled that Hades had given him an answer. "Bianca and I… aren't much alike," he ventured.

Hades let his hand rest on Nico's back, and Nico fidgeted a bit, caught off guard by the unusual display of affection. "The two of you are more alike than you realize," Hades told him. "You both are sensitive, and kind — as much as you wish to appear otherwise — and the both of you are a bit more bold than is wise. Maria was… kind to a fault, and bold enough to fall in love with an immortal."

"She knew?" Nico blurted out, too startled to take offense at his father's subtle needling.

Hades eyed him with a sad, wry quirk to his mouth. "Did you honestly expect the woman who bore Bianca to be content with secrecy and avoidances in a husband? If I had refused her answers, she would have refused me, and that was… something I greatly wished to avoid."

Nico blinked at his father, stunned. "You married her?!" he demanded.

Hades shrugged a bit, and Nico felt him splay the hand resting on his back for a moment. "She would have had it no other way. Maria was… hard to refuse, and I was very much besotted with her. As she knew what I was, she wished for our relationship have a more… permanent aspect. So, yes, I married her. Persephone was… rather disgruntled, when she found out."

Nico was staring at his father unabashedly now. "And you never thought to tell me?!" he cried, his voice pitching dangerously close to cracking.

Hades shifted in his seat to face Nico more fully, folding his hands over his knee. "I will admit that it did not occur to me," he said, a bit sadly. "Before her death, you and Bianca never asked — it was simply something you assumed, that your father and mother were married. And afterwards… neither I nor you and your sister were in a position to have that particular conversation, for a multitude of reasons." He held up a hand to stall Nico's protest. "I am well aware that I handled her death poorly, and I have no desire to discuss it."

"Yes, Father," Nico mumbled. He scrubbed his hands vigorously over his face, furious with himself for getting so upset over a mother he barely remembered.

Hades hesitated for a moment, then reached out and rested a hand on Nico's knee. ""I have the rings she selected for us," he began slowly, "I had thought to give them to Bianca, when she was old enough, but — well. You may have them, if you like. I know… you have very little of her."

"I'd like that," Nico whispered after a long minute.

His father squeezed his knee briefly, then let go, shifting to look out at the Fields of Asphodel again. "Father?" Nico ventured hesitantly. Hades hummed a bit, not turning from his study of the deeply shadowed plains outside the palace. "Will you… tell me more about her?"

"Tomorrow," Hades promised slowly. "Tomorrow, I will tell you all you wish to know."

"Can — can I stay with you? Until then?" Nico asked tentatively, suddenly nervous that his father would turn him away.

Hades did turn then, deliberately locking eyes with his son. "You will always be welcome here," he told Nico firmly.

So father and son sat side by side in the dim light, taking comfort in the quiet and the presence of the other.