Work Text:
Sam almost always wore a necklace. Freddie wasn’t sure exactly when he noticed, but he started to take interest in the different charms she wore around her neck. Jewelry was so inherently unlike Sam, yet she chose to wear it anyways.
It was hard for Freddie not to notice things about her. She was something that couldn’t be ignored. He was almost certain that without her in his life, he’d feel as if an entire piece of himself was missing. He could admit it now.
Now, on Sam’s seventeenth birthday, as he watched her clink glasses with Carly. Now, when she might as well have been missing from his life even if she was right in front of him.
Four days ago, they broke up.
As the party began to wind down, he waved at guests as they left Carly’s apartment, trying not to roll his eyes at each of Sam’s exes that had showed up. He despised them until he realized he was now on that list of exes.
Freddie thought about the small, black box that had been sitting on his nightstand for the past week. It came in the mail seven days ago, and he had gotten excited as each day passed until Sam's birthday. Because every day that passed meant it was one day closer to the day he could give it to her. But that didn't last very long, because three days later, they broke up.
He had never planned on breaking up with her. Maybe it was wishful thinking, maybe it was the hormones, or whatever, but he thought he had finally found the person he’d been waiting for. Sure they were only seventeen, but she was his best friend. There was no one else like her. There was no one else he could even imagine loving more than he loved her.
It was the look on her face in the elevator that made him do it. The look on her face told him that it was over, that there was nothing he could say to convince her otherwise. So he agreed with her when she said that they should break up. There had been a glimmer of hope in her eyes that made him decide this wouldn’t be the end. One day, once they had pieced things back together and found themselves coming back to each other again, they could start where they left off.
It had only been four days, but it began to feel like maybe he had been wrong.
He slipped out the door and back into his apartment without saying goodbye. He had barely even gotten himself to go to the party, but didn’t want to make anything stranger than it already was. For four days, they barely spoke. Strangers spoke more than they did.
He spoke to her more than she spoke to him. He had wanted to try to make things normal again, go back to how they used to be. He hadn’t realized how much he just wanted her to yell at him, to call him one of the many names she had for him, to reach over and steal his food like she used to. Instead, she gave him silence, and he decided that was a hundred times worse.
She only spoke to him when she needed to. During iCarly, in passing, at school. Her eyes never met his anymore.
The black box was still on his nightstand. A black chain with a familiar charm attached to it, in the shape of a small blue remote control. The remote that he had so carefully designed back when he was thirteen, when he had given it to Sam rather than Carly without a doubt in his mind. He couldn’t even explain it, he had just known it belonged to her.
He had ordered the necklace in February, back when he knew he had fallen deeply, madly in love with her and wanted to do something to show it. He hadn’t told her yet, and he figured by the time her birthday in April rolled around, the time would be right. He had gotten it custom made, which was why he had to order it two months in advance, but now as he picked up the box and opened it to see the necklace inside, he had no idea what to do with it.
He wasn’t sure when exactly he had fallen in love with her. It could’ve been years ago, when they shared their first kiss with each other, and he just hadn’t realized it yet. It could’ve been the day in the mental hospital when she had poured her feelings out to him, something he had never seen her do to anyone. Or it could’ve been the weeks that followed, arguably the best weeks of his life, when he could kiss her and pull her close and call her babe whenever he wanted because she was unconditionally his. He wasn’t sure when he fell in love with her, all he was certain about was that he did.
The memory brought his attention back to the necklace. It wasn’t like he could just give it to someone else. The blue remote was Sam’s. It was her thing. He remembered a conversation they had about a year ago, when she had been telling him how much she liked it without realizing how proud it made him feel.
They had been sitting in the studio after an iCarly broadcast, just the two of them, since Carly had left for a date.
“Ugh,” Freddie groaned as his phone rang from its spot on the black cable cart. He picked it up, saw the contact name that popped up, and ignored the call without hesitation.
Sam raised an eyebrow, noticing his actions as she took a sip of water. “Wow, you’re too cool to answer your calls now?” she inquired, mostly because it made her curious as to who had called him. Freddie wasn’t exactly the type to ignore his calls.
He sighed as he typed something on his laptop. “No. Not that you’d care, but it’s Valerie.”
Sam couldn’t help but laugh. “That crazy chick that dated you, like, two years ago?”
“Yup. She keeps calling me again and I don’t know why. I’m so close to just blocking her number.”
“So why don’t you?” She pulled out a beanbag and crashed onto it, turning on the TV screen with her remote.
Freddie gave her a sheepish glance. “Because that’s mean.”
“Dude, she almost stole you from iCarly, and then tried to get me to leave too! She was psycho. It’s not being mean if she deserves it.”
“So everyone you’re mean to deserves it?” Freddie countered.
She glared at him. “I didn’t say I wasn’t mean.”
It made him smile slightly, but he didn’t press. “I guess you’re right. I should just block her.” He grabbed his phone and blocked the number, feeling pretty satisfied when he was done. “Too bad you didn’t take her offer, though, huh? Your show would’ve been called iSam.”
Scoffing, Sam downed the rest of her water and shook her head. “Yeah, right. Until she kidnaps me in her closet and changes it to iValerie.”
“Well, what about now? You really don’t care that the show’s named after Carly?” he asked her suddenly, realizing that she never protested when they had chosen the name of their web show.
Sam shrugged. “Not really. I mean, I guess I could, but I have the remote.” She reached out her arm from where she was sitting and grabbed the remote. As she pressed all of the buttons, random sound effects played at each of her commands. “This thing makes me feel like I’m part of the show just as much as Carly is. It’s like… my thing, you know?”
“Oh, yeah, that’s true. The fans call it Sam’s remote.”
“Exactly. I have fans come up to me all the time and ask about it. Even though you probably know more details than I do.” Subconsciously, she smiled as she looked at the remote in her hands. “My prized possession, I guess.” She twirled it around as she thought about it, realizing she didn’t own a lot of things that were all that important to her. Even if the show wasn’t named after her, she was grateful to have at least one thing that was hers.
She didn’t notice, but Freddie’s grin had grown wider as he continued to type. He was never really sure if Sam considered him her friend, but the remote he made for her was her prized possession. And that was enough for him.
Reaching for the box, Freddie opened it up to see the necklace. What was wrong with giving it to her anyways? They might’ve been broken up, but she was still his friend. And maybe they hadn’t spoken for days, but it was only her birthday once a year. It couldn’t go to waste, could it?
He snapped it closed and found his way back to Carly’s apartment, knowing there was no way Sam had left already. To his surprise, when he opened the door, Sam was alone on the couch, Carly nowhere to be seen.
She looked up when he burst through the door and raised her eyebrows at him. “Uh, are you okay?”
He blinked, trying to catch his breath, not even realizing he had lost it on the way here. “Yeah. You’re here alone?”
Sam nodded and turned her head to the piece of cake she was eating, staring at it mindlessly. “Carly drank a little too much so I sent her to bed. I thought you went home.”
“Uh—I did, but…” He looked down at the box in his hands. He could turn back now if he wanted to. Pretend he had just been looking for Carly, go back home since she was asleep. Pretend it never happened. Closing his eyes, he remembered why he came.
Freddie cleared his throat. “I just realized that I didn’t give you your gift yet.”
She paused, her fork in midair as she turned to look at him again. “You… got me a gift?”
“Y-yeah. Um…” He stepped forward and slowly reached his hand out to give it to her. “Here.”
She visibly hesitated before taking it from him, setting her plate down on the coffee table. Trying not to be so awkward, he sat on the opposite end of the couch as she opened it, bracing himself for her reaction. He told himself he wouldn't look at her, but the curiosity made him turn eventually.
The blue remote pendant made her breath catch in her throat. It was exactly the same as the real one, from the color down to the number of buttons. Everything about it was beautiful. It was perfect.
She looked back up at him and asked him the first question that came to mind. “Why did you get me this?” She was painfully aware of how romantic the gift was, and she had no doubt that he knew that too. Why would he give her something like this only days after they broke up?
“Let me explain,” he began, subconsciously shifting towards her. “I ordered it two months ago. I had the idea for the longest time, and it had to be custom-made, so I had to order it early. And I figured it’d come just in time for your birthday, but I just… I didn’t know we wouldn’t be… together anymore.”
And I was going to tell you I loved you, he thought. But I did that early.
The three words had been swirling around in his mind for months. He had it all planned in his head. Her birthday would roll around, he’d wait for the perfect moment and give it to her, and then tell her he loved her. But four days ago, when he realized he would never be able to say it if he didn’t say it right then and there, he told her early. Thank God she had said it back.
“Oh.” It was all Sam could get out as her eyes wandered back to the necklace. She wasn’t the type to show any emotion, and she thought about giving him a concussion right at that moment, so he could be passed out while she cried. But she pushed the idea away before it formed too deeply; otherwise, she probably would’ve done it.
“I can take it back if it’s too much,” he blurted out quickly, worried she hated it after her silence. “I know it’s only been four days, not that I’m counting, but—um—you know, you don’t have to keep it—“
“No,” she interrupted him, delicately taking the necklace out of the box. “I love it.” She was surprised her voice didn’t crack but she still felt a tear coming.
“Um, can you put it on for me?” she asked quickly, handing it to him and using it as an excuse to turn around so he wouldn’t see the tear that slipped down her cheek.
Their breakup had been hard for her, but she hadn’t expected it to be quite this hard. She had broken up with boys before, but none of them were like this one. This one had left a pit at the bottom of her stomach for days. She had thought that by now, she’d be over it, but as she felt him gently lift her hair to the front so he could put the necklace on for her, she knew she was so, so far from over it. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever be over it.
Which is why, for the past four days, she had barely spoken a word to him. Every time he tried to talk to her, she felt her heart break a little bit more. She couldn't bear to respond.
“Yeah,” he said so quietly, it sounded like a whisper. Closing the distance between them, he looped the necklace around her neck and clasped it together, his fingers brushing her skin as he did. His chest fell as he realized he hadn’t touched her for a while, and probably never would again. Not like this, at least. “It’s on.”
She had recovered slightly, wiping the tear away so quickly that you would’ve missed it if you blinked. Turning back around, she was caught off guard at how close he was to her. But she didn’t back away.
“You really love it?” he asked her.
She nodded. “Um, yeah. You know, that remote means a lot to me.”
“Yeah. I know.”
They stayed there for a moment, only inches away from each other, and Sam felt her heart start to beat faster. She watched as his eyes darted down to her lips, and the air felt warmer as he moved closer to her, ever so slightly. Why did they break up anyways? Why, when she knew she was still so in love with him, and could tell that she wasn’t the only one who hadn’t moved on?
She’d let him kiss her, she decided. Then they could go from there. Maybe it was the buzz from the alcohol she had earlier, maybe it was something about how he was so close that his lips would brush against hers any moment now, but she suddenly forgot about everything else.
“Hey, Sam, did Carly go to—” Spencer interrupted as he emerged from the hallway into the living room, making both Freddie and Sam jump so suddenly that the plate of cake on the table was knocked over by one of their limbs, making a loud clang.
“Oh… shoot, I definitely interrupted something over here, didn’t I?” Spencer smirked at the two teenagers on his couch, fully aware that they had broken up only a few days ago. Of course, he had known for years that they wouldn’t be able to stay away from each other, but he had kept quiet.
Freddie had quickly gone back to the other side of the couch, averting his eyes from both Spencer and Sam. Clearing her throat, Sam came out of her trance and picked up the cake that had fallen.
“You didn’t interrupt anything,” she told Spencer, making her way to the kitchen to put her plate in the sink. “Carly went to sleep, if that’s what you were wondering.”
“Okay, yeah, just making sure,” Spencer replied, still not able to wipe the suggestive smile off his face. He gave Freddie googly eyes, making him glare at him. “Happy birthday, Sam. Good to see the celebration’s not over yet.”
Sam had already been preparing the piece of cake that she would chuck at him through the archway, and Spencer yelped as it came flying at him. “Don’t push it, Spence!”
“Goodnight, kids, don’t have too much fun!” he called as he disappeared back into his bedroom. Sam shook her head. That man gets way too excited about romance as long as it doesn't involve his little sister.
There was silence for a few seconds, the only sound coming from the sink as Sam rinsed her plate. Wiping her hands, she leaned onto the counter beside the computer and watched as Freddie peeked at her from the corners of his eyes. It made her smile.
“Help me clean up?” she asked. It had to be a sign, she decided. A sign from the universe that was telling her it was over now. Even if the voice in her head kept saying otherwise. “Carly left me to clean on my birthday, so you’re obligated to.”
He sighed in relief, glad she wasn’t angry with him for the kiss that had almost happened. If anything, it was the most emotion she had given him in four days. For some reason, it felt like the beginning of something. “Of course.”
Sam wore the necklace almost every day. Carly had asked her where she got it, but she had ignored the question in the way Sam always ignored things she didn’t want to talk about. She’d smoothly change the subject, but not before glancing at Freddie and exchanging a knowing smile. They weren’t together anymore, but she still carried a piece of him wherever she went. And that was enough for him. Well, almost.