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(2 years before graduation)
“Eda, you’re going to get in trouble.” Raine said. “This is stealing- I mean, theft? Thievery? It doesn’t matter. Whatever the right word is.”
Their eyes were wide, but they weren’t looking away. Something about their unbroken attention made Eda’s heart go shivery with delight.
“No, I’m not. It’s gonna be fun.”
Raine blushed, ducking their head. It only lasted a fraction of a moment, though. Like a magnet, their gaze naturally returned to her. They couldn’t resist her. Of course they couldn’t. Who could? Eda smirked, and Raine’s blush darkened, which heightened Eda’s glee.
“You shouldn’t.” Though they were standing still, Raine gasped for breath, desperately trying to maintain a straight face. “You should-” and then they gave up for a moment, dissolving into giggles. They were still looking at Eda so softly. She never wanted the moment to end.
Without breaking the exquisite eye contact between them, Eda reached toward the bush that she had been eyeing, the one that had prompted this whole conversation. In one swift motion, she snatched a few tiny berries and tossed them in her mouth.
“Eda!” Raine hissed, “What if those are poisonous?”
Eda shrugged, chewing as she spoke. “If they are, then whoever owns this bush probably won’t care about the stealing.”
”Spit those out!” Despite everything, a hint of a suppressed smile still tugged on Raine’s lips. “Eda, you never listen, I swear to the Titan...spit those out right now!”
Still chewing, Eda rested a hand on her chin, as if in deep thought.
“Hm… Why don’t you make me?” she murmured.
Raine let out a squeak that soon turned into cackling. “You’re impossible,” they said.
“You know you love it.”
”Yeah,” Raine said, and Eda fought not to shudder visibly at the sincerity in their voice. “Yeah I do.”
Lately, Eda had trouble staying awake past sunset. King and Luz were always full of energy, and she hated being the buzzkill of the group, so she did her darndest to fight it.
The exhaustion had worsened since the petrification ceremony, though. It creeped into every slow moment, making it harder and harder to stay awake.
After the chaos of today, she was completely drained. It would have exhausted anyone.
She hated to admit it, but Hooty was right. Magic progress wouldn’t come if she didn’t get some rest first.
The few hours of vivid, drug-induced visions had somehow helped her make progress with the curse, but they hadn’t done much for the emotional weariness.
And there was a lot of emotional weariness to go around. She hadn’t given herself much time to think in the past few days.
The guilt from walking the BATs into a trap, the lingering effects of corrupted bard magic that had almost destroyed her, the mess of tangled sharp feelings about what she had almost done, relief that Raine had stopped her mixed with splinters of buried anger, the insurmountable cloud of terror for what would happen to them—none if it had stopped prodding and scratching against her emotions, leaving her feeling raw and fragile.
Even the long-overdue realization about the curse, while wonderful, was leaving her with too intense of emotions to deal with right now. She was thrilled and proud, and some of her worst anxieties had been soothed, but she could deal with that all in the morning. Now, she just wanted to curl up and sleep for a few hours. Or maybe a few days.
Sleep, however, refused to come. Just her luck.
Every time she started to doze off, the grief crept in, quieter than her other emotions. It had been buried under everything else throughout the last few days, but now that it was finally silent, she could feel it settle around her, like a whisper. She couldn’t fight it, couldn’t even hold onto it while she was alert, but as soon as she let her guard down, it was back.
The vision of Raine’s face in her nightmare, so close and real and alive, kept haunting her.
The emotions that it incited felt closer to fury than to grief.
It wasn’t fair. She should’ve been able to ask for help. They should have recognized what was wrong. She should have been able to back down, and find a compromise, and keep Raine in her life. Raine should have backed down and listened to her completely reasonable complaints. She should have been able to talk to them at some point in the decades that had passed. She should have been stronger than her pride. Raine should have been stronger than their pride.
Both of them should have been strong enough to make it out of their most recent battle. It shouldn’t end like… whatever this was. Raine deserved better than this, and so did she.
Disgruntled, she settled on the couch, staring at the ceiling. Hopefully, sleep would eventually win.
(five months before graduation)
“You’re gorgeous,” Eda said, cupping Raine’s face in her hand.
“No, Eda, you need to listen.” Raine was flushed, but they weakly batted at Eda’s hands. When she didn’t let go, they shook their head to make her loosen her grip.
”Yes you are,” she reached for them again, and ran her fingers through their soft green hair. It had just been cut, so it felt extra nice to play with. She wrapped her other arm around their back, pulling them into an awkward hug. Raine closed their eyes for a moment, content.
“Stop.” Their voice was strained, barely audible, and she was pretty sure they were shaking in her arms.
“It’s okay little Rainestorm, I got you.” She rested her chin on their head, trying to absorb their warmth. She tried to focus on them instead of the the icy pit of anxiety that was growing in her gut.
She felt Raine shake their head against her neck. Slowly, reluctantly, they extracted themself from her arms.
“Hey now,” she reached for their hand, but they pulled it away.
“Don’t touch me,” they said timidly. Their eyes were locked on their feet.
“Raine…”
”Eda,” they closed their eyes and balled their hands into fists, “I need you to listen this time. I know you don’t like listening, but I need you to hear me out on this.”
“Or,” Eda laughed nervously, “what if we did something fun instead?” she reached for Raine’s hand, and Raine’s eyes darted open, dead serious.
“Eda.” Their voice was rough, and they grimaced.
“Okay, okay… Sheesh! I’m listening.”
“I’m trying, so hard, to respect your choices,” Raine said softly. “We’re almost adults, and, if this is going to work, we have to trust each other even when we disagree.”
”Cool, thanks.” Eda frantically looked around them for something to comment on. “Hey, that cloud looks like a little frog, isn’t that cute?”
Raine glared at her, and she felt her heart shrivel in her chest.
“But it has to go both ways,” they continued. “It’s taking everything I have to let you be, so I know,” their voice broke, “I know it’s hard. I know it hurts. But I need you to trust me, too.” They were looking straight into Eda’s eyes now, and she was trying to listen, really she was, but she was pretty sure she was going to throw up.
“Rainestorm, honey, I do trust you, but I can’t just let you throw your life away because the Emporer wants you to.” She tried to keep her voice steady, but the last few words came out as a growl.
“And it shatters me,” Raine was almost yelling, “that you’d be socially outcast for your entire life, or killed, before you’d even consider that sometimes you can’t be the most special-”
Eda didn’t hear anything else they said, because the ringing in her ears drowned them out.
“I have- I have to- I-” she felt like she was underwater. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t even tell which way was up. “I have to go.”
By habit, she almost said “I love you,” before she left, but the words died in her throat, curling up there and rotting. Then, she was sprinting.
When she woke up, coughing up fur, she was in her own bed.
Suddenly a loud “Hoot!” echoed through the house, startling Eda awake for real. She nearly fell off the couch, and blinked the sleep out of her eyes, getting her bearings. Her hand was covered in feathers, which sent a jolt of panic through her, before the events of the night caught up to her.
She was fine now. She could control it. She was a sexy harpy lady thing. It was all good, even if her heartbeat hadn’t gotten the memo, yet.
“Ooh, are you sneaking out?!” Hooty cooed.
Somone, probably Luz, let out a yelp, and then Eda heard a dull crash.
“Can I come too? Do you need more love advice? I think tonight has proven that I’m an expert at- Hoot! Ow!”
“No,” Luz stage-whispered, “I’m not- shh!”
“Luz?” Eda asked, her half-awake voice coming out crackly as she tried to sit up.
“Oh, hey Eda! You’re awake,” Luz said, with a bright smile that almost covered the panic in her eyes. Almost.
“Alright, what are you up to?”
Luz didn’t respond, but continued smiling nervously. Her eyes darted around the room.
“You know I’m usually all for wild shenanigans, but if you’re hiding it from me, it can’t be good.”
“No, I swear it’s not bad!” She placed a hand over her heart, sending her oversized hoodie sleeves flopping through the air. “I’m not even sneaking out to do something exciting this time.” She bit her lip. “I just… couldn’t sleep, and… you know?” Luz smiled weakly and straightened her hood, fidgeting with the little cat ears.
“No, I don’t know?” Eda said.
“I don’t really have a plan. I just have a lot of nervous energy and my room was getting kinda claustrophobic? I figured I was just gonna, I don’t know, yell at some trees? Maybe I’ll break Amity out of her house and convince her to run away with me? Or, probably not, it’s too early for that. Maybe I’ll write some Azura/Hecate fanfiction in the dirt with a stick? It’s surprisingly fun. More people should do that. The point is, I haven’t decided yet, but I’ll figure it out.”
Eda narrowed her eyes. “You’re not going wandering in the forest in the middle of the night. Tonight has already been eventful enough.”
“Yeah, okay, you’re right.” She relented, sitting down on the couch.
Up close, Luz looked even more nervous, tapping her feet against the floorboards frantically, and playing with the hem of her hoodie. As she sat in silence, her breathing started speeding up, until she was almost hyperventilating.
“Do you want to tell me what’s bothering you?”
“Can I ask you a question?” Luz barely let her finish, and asked the question in a rush, the words blending together.
“Sure.”
“Okay, theoretically, if someone who you really like started dating you, you should be happy, right?” Luz blushed fiercely, staring at the ceiling.
“Why? Are you not happy?”
“No, I am!” Luz sounded distressed and her nose wrinkled, “but it’s also… I thought asking her out would be the hard part? And I didn’t really think about… the after?”
Eda sighed.
“Look, kid, I will fervently deny telling you this if you repeat it to anyone, but I am quite possibly the worst person in The Boiling Isles to ask about-”
“Because,” Luz interrupted frantically. “I’m gonna have to see her tomorrow, and what do I even do then? Do I just hold her hand? Am I allowed to do that? What do we even talk about? What if she wants to kiss me? What then?”
She laid down on the floor as she spoke, pulling her hoodie over her eyes.
Then she rolled over and screamed into her hands. Eda desperately tried to think of anything she could do to help. Titans knew, she of all witches could empathize with heartache and fear. Before she could speak, though, Luz dissolved into delirious giggling.
“She likes me,” Luz said softly, reverently. “Amity Blight likes me. Amity Blight asked me out and held my hand and kissed me on the cheek and she likes me. I’m gonna live my own enemies-to-lovers fanfic.”
“That’s great,” Eda said, which seemed to be the right response, because Luz nodded.
“She’s…” Luz stared at the ceiling for a second, searching for the right words. Then, she gasped. “She’s my girlfriend.”
She screeched, and Eda tried not to flinch too hard at the shrillness of it. Still, Luz’s happiness was contagious.
“Amity Blight. my girlfriend, who I am dating... who is my girlfriend!” Luz dissolved into giggles again, and a few happy tears streamed down her face. She started to yawn while laughing, which kick-started a round of hiccups.
“Okay, alright…” Eda patted her head, “there there.”
The sound of quiet footsteps echoed down from upstairs.
“Wha’s going on?” King stumbled down the stairs, but Luz jumped to her feet and caught him. “I heard,” he yawned, “I heard yelling. You okay?”
“She’s just screaming about her girlfriend,” Eda said.
“My girlfriend,” Luz whispered in awe.
“Nyah! You’re squeezing me!”
“Sorry,” Luz set him down on the couch, and he crawled into Eda’s lap, curling up and falling asleep almost instantly.
“Thanks for helping me ask her out, Eda,” Luz said.
“And…” Hooty’s voice echoed through the room, and she jumped when Hooty appeared in front of her, smiling expectantly.
“And thank you, too, Hooty for your ridiculous sappy plan.” Luz said, too happy and exhausted to complain. She patted his head affectionately.
“I’m always happy to kidnap your crushes and throw them up in the basement!”
“Okay, but maybe don’t do that part again…”
Hooty just smirked before slithering away.
“It’ll be fine. Probably.” Luz said through her yawns, curling back up on the floor.
With Luz’s soft breathing and King’s warmth against her, Eda could almost fall asleep. Almost. She stared at the ceiling some more, resigned to let the grief wash over her for a little longer. It wasn’t like she could get up with King asleep on her stomach.
(three years before graduation)
The Grudgeby match had barely ended. Technically, Eda was ditching a team huddle, but she couldn’t bring herself to feel guilty. She kicked her legs through the air, smiling stupidly. Owlbert kept the two of them afloat, hidden between two trees, as Raine’s leg pressed against hers.
“You’re cute,” Eda declared, as if it was a fact. Because it was. Raine’s ears blushed pink and their pretty little homemade earrings bounced as they looked away.
”Thanks,” they said, “I mean- You also. I- you-” They buried their face in one hand. With the other hand, they gestured blindly in Eda’s direction, accidentally whacking her face. Eda giggled. “Cute… also,” Raine choked out.
”We should date.”
“Really?” Raine sat up so fast that they sent the staff careening. Owlbert steadied them after they fell a few feet, but not before Eda had wrapped her arms around Raine, holding them close and safe, and maybe enjoying the way their hair smelled a little too much.
“Soo… do you wanna?”
“What?”
“Do you wanna go out with me, silly? I know it’s a dumb question, because obviously you do, this is me we’re talking about. But I wanted to be chivalrous or whatever and ask.”
“Yes.” Raine smiled so widely, their lips must have hurt. “I’d love that.”
“Eda?” Luz mumbled. It was quiet, but Eda had grown so attuned to her voice that it woke her up instantly.
“What is it?” she asked.
“Is it stupid to date Amity when I don’t even know what’s going to happen next?” Her voice was slurred, and it was clear she was half asleep. How much time had passed? She had probably just woken up from a nightmare. “I have to go home eventually, and I don’t know how I’ll get back, and-” her voice cracked.
“Kiddo, Luz, look at me.”
Luz looked at her expectantly, her eyes wide.
“You’re the strongest, stubbornest witch I know,” Eda said. “And I know me.”
Luz snorted at that.
“Plus you have an incredible heart. If you set your mind to it, which I know you already have, you’ll find a way to see her.” Luz nodded, seeming placated. Her eyes were already drifting shut. “Distance has nothing on a witch with determination and spite in her blood.”
“Thanks,” Luz whispered, curling back up. “I got… I have heart… Amity…” Her breathing slowed almost immediately, which meant she was probably already asleep.
“Don’t tell anyone I was this mushy with you, though,” Eda chastised.
Luz hummed in acknowledgement.
“Even if, somehow, it doesn't work out,” Eda whispered, “that doesn’t make it pointless. It’s okay to just enjoy things for now. Let yourself live a little.”
The only response Luz gave was light snoring.
“Goodnight, Luz,” Eda muttered.
She closed her eyes, and sleep finally caught up to her.