Archive of Our Own

For the first seventeen years of his life, Koushi is an only child. 

He bounces around the foster system as a young boy, and while he technically has siblings there, he’s never close with any of them. It feels as if the place they live in together is the only thing tying them together, and even at that, Koushi doesn’t stay in any of these homes for too long.

When he reaches Camp Half-Blood, he learns that he’s the only current son of Zeus. Koushi finds family elsewhere amongst the campers, but he never knows what it means to be a brother.

He’s imaginably surprised when Takeda pulls him aside early one morning on his way to breakfast, asking him to come to the Big House with him. Koushi isn’t the world’s biggest fan of breakfast unlike Daichi and Yuu so he doesn’t think much of it. He groggily follows the camp director, questioning what could be big enough to warrant his urgent demeanour. 

When they reach the house, Takeda swiftly whisks Koushi into his office. Inside stands Ukai, leaning up against his oak desk with a turbulent look on his face. An unfamiliar raven-haired boy sits on the old loveseat, watching the tail-end of the camp orientation video. So there’s a new camper. That normally doesn’t warrant Koushi’s presence, usually, Tetsurou does the tours as the Hermes counsellor.

Ukai ushers the boy to his feet as the video ends. “Tobio, right?” He asks in a hushed voice. The boy, assumedly Tobio, nods once, a rather stoic expression on his face. 

Ukai clears his throat, “Tobio, this is Suga. He’s a son of Zeus and the counsellor of cabin one.”

Tobio stares at him with a strange intensity and Koushi feels awkward under his heavy gaze. Tobio seems to be a few years younger than him, fifteen at most. He’s taller than Koushi, but in an awkward stage of growing, with long limbs and pants that are slightly too short. His dark hair falls flat on his face, slightly obstructing clear blue eyes that carry a certain weight to them.

“Nice to meet you, Tobio,” Koushi greets with a smile.

Tobio nods again, “You too.” His words are blunt and awkward, like he doesn’t want to be speaking to Koushi. Yet his body language still carries interest, almost as if he wants to ask Koushi every question under the sun. 

Takeda rests a hand on Koushi’s shoulder from where he stands behind him. “We were hoping if you could give Tobio a tour, Koushi. He came to camp late last night and was claimed shortly after. He’s, uh, well see he’s a son of Zeus, so it makes sense for you to do it.”

Koushi can’t hide his surprise, “He’s what now?”

 “We weren’t expecting this one either,” Ukai says. 

Takeda huffs, “Regardless of that, Tobio is here now. Let’s make sure he has a nice welcome, okay?”

“Yeah, sure.” Koushi waves Tobio over before swiftly turning around, leaving the younger boy to follow him. 

Koushi’s head is buzzing, unable to process the sudden events. He has a brother. Tobio is his brother. Koushi doesn’t know how to act or how to guide Tobio. As he steps off the front porch, Tobio falls into step with him. 

Upon closer inspection, Tobio definitely has the appearance of a powerful demigod. His royal blue eyes are dark and carry the intensity of someone much older than fifteen. His posture is straight and rigid.

Look at me, it says. Know my strength.

Passing campers turn to stare at Tobio, and Koushi knows that it isn’t just because he’s the new kid. They see it too. 

Koushi tries to be warm and welcoming with Tobio, wanting to show him around Camp Half-Blood and tell him all his insider tips, but he feels as if something ice-cold has been inserted into his veins, chilling his bloodstream until it freezes altogether, rooting him to the ground like trees in the camp’s forest.

Tobio doesn’t notice something’s wrong, only nodding in response as Koushi describes his home to his new half-brother. 

There’s a stretch of silence as they walk from the Big House to the activity buildings; Koushi hates it. He doesn’t want to do this, he doesn’t want to be here. 

Koushi laughs awkwardly, trying to diffuse the tension. “So I guess we’re brothers, huh?”

Tobio wrinkles his nose, the most expression Koushi’s seen out of him since they’ve met. “We look nothing alike.”

Koushi winces, scratching the back of his neck. “I was… joking. It’s not really a genetic relation so, uh, we won’t look the same, but I’m your half-brother so…”

“Oh,” Tobio says, his tone clipped.

“Yeah,” Koushi replies.

The rest of Tobio’s tour is just as awkward and Koushi prays to his father that he’ll never have to do that again. He leaves the boy on the stoop of his cabin, well, their cabin, to unpack his things.

He should probably be in lessons with Takeda right now, but Koushi figures he deserves the rest of the morning off. He dips into the forest, destination already in mind. Koushi’s eyes are downcast, carefully maneuvering around rocks and roots. The faint melody of a lyre causes Koushi to perk up and moves with a renewed pace. The music grows in volume until Koushi enters the clearing he knew the lyrist would be in.

The son of Thanatos stops playing upon seeing Koushi, chocolate brown eyes lighting up. “Hey you,” he says. 

Daichi is sitting under one of the many trees in the grove, cradling his lyre in his arms. His dark brown hair is slightly windswept and if Koushi gets closer, he can see the freckles that the summer sun has sprinkled across his cheeks.

“Good morning,” he returns, crossing the clearing to sit on the ground to Daichi’s right.

Koushi knows that Daichi can see how tense he is now that they’re shoulder-to-shoulder, but he chooses to feign ignorance for the time being, content enough to be in Daichi’s company.

“Shouldn’t you be with Takeda?” Daichi asks carefully.

“I should. I’ve given myself the morning off.”

Daichi hums, “You weren’t at breakfast either.”

Koushi sighs, adjusting himself to lay his head in Daichi’s lap. “Urgent business from Ukai and Takeda, I wasn’t really hungry anyway. Shouldn’t you be with Eita?”

Daichi chuckles, brushing some stray hair from Koushi’s face. “I should,” he parrots. “He had a composition he wanted to work on so I’m practicing independently today.” Daichi pauses, plucking a melody absentmindedly while he deliberates whether or not he wants to pry. “You seem unhappy,” he says.

Koushi shrugs, curling in on Daichi. Chocolate brown eyes linger on Koushi before returning to the lyre. Long, tan fingers pull against the strings, a soft and calming song filling the grove. There is no magic contained in the lullaby that plays, but Koushi figures there may as well be. The music and the care it emanates soothes the tension in his bones, the familiar comfort of Daichi pacifying his anxieties. 

“I have a brother,” Koushi blurts. 

Daichi stills, fingers hovering between notes, melody abruptly ceasing. “That was your urgent business, I assume?” He asks, gingerly setting down the lyre.

Koushi nods. Daichi trails his fingers through Koushi’s hair, smoothing it and pushing it back from his eyes. Koushi turns his head to look up at Daichi. His expression contains a carefully crafted air of empathy.

“He’s better than me,” Koushi says. 

“How can you be so sure?”

“He carries himself like a son of Zeus. He has my father’s power.”

“You have his power too,” Daichi reminds him.

“He’s better than me, Daichi.”

Daichi sighs, hand trailing down to cup Koushi’s cheek, “I wouldn’t be so sure. You’re stronger than you think you are. Besides, don’t tell your brother, but I like you better.”

Koushi pouts, “He doesn’t even know you, dumbass.”

“He probably will sooner or later. Is he mean?”

“I dunno. He’s kind of hard to read, actually.”

Daichi raises his eyebrows, “How so?”

“He’s contradictory, I guess. Externally, he acts all proper and distant like royalty, but when Ukai introduced us, he seemed almost excited by the fact that I was there. It’s like he’s trying to act like an adult.”

“What do you think his story is?”

Koushi wrinkles his nose, “How am I supposed to know? He barely spoke to me… he probably doesn’t like me too much, Dai.”

“I think you’re being too hard on yourself as always. You’re wonderful, he’d have to be insane to think otherwise. Maybe he’s just not used to having a brother too.”

“Maybe,” Koushi relents. “I dunno, I just don’t feel good about it.”

“It’s definitely a change,” Daichi says. “But you’re resilient and smart. You’ll get the hang of things soon enough and you guys will get along.” He leans down and presses a chaste kiss to Koushi’s forehead. 

Across the clearing, someone clears their throat. Daichi’s face turns beet red, “E-Eita! What’s up?’

Koushi frantically sits upright, shuffling several inches away from Daichi like the son of Apollo hadn’t just seen Koushi lying in his lap. 

Eita seems wholeheartedly disinterested, arms crossed and expression neutral. “Practicing hard, Daichi?”

Daichi sputters, “I am, it’s just, Kou- I mean, Suga was asking for my advice so we were talking so-“

Eita raises a hand to stop Daichi, “Just wanted to check in. Don’t mind me, by all means.”

He turns to walk back the way he came. Daichi shoots him a panicked look. “Uh, Eita?” Koushi says.

Eita turns back, mouth curved into a smug smirk, “I know, I know, I never saw a thing. Have fun talking. ”

Eita disappears into the treeline and Daichi groans, burying his face in the crook of Koushi’s neck. “That was so embarrassing, I’m fleeing the country.”

Koushi giggles, “Take me with you at least.”

“Duh,” Daichi mumbles.

“Look on the bright side, Eita couldn’t care less. Could you imagine if someone like Yuu caught us?”

“I think I would literally die,” Daichi says. Koushi can feel Daichi’s smile up against his shoulder.

Daichi pulls back slightly, “I probably should practice though.”

Koushi loops an arm around the back of his neck, nestling his palm against his nape. “You really should.”

Daichi swallows, eyes drifting down to Koushi’s lips, “Maybe in a bit though, I’ve got time.”

Koushi nods enthusiastically, “Uh huh, yup. Sounds good.”

Daichi grins and leans in, pressing his warm lips against Koushi. It feels as if Daichi breathes life into him, a tickling of heat and energy spreading from the crown of his head all the way to the soles of his feet. Koushi chases the feeling, leaning in further and sighing when Daichi wraps an arm around his waist.

Daichi doesn't end up getting that much more practice, though something tells Koushi he doesn't mind.

While Koushi isn’t exactly excited at the idea of having to share a space with someone, he figures upon meeting Tobio that as far as spontaneous half-brothers go, Tobio would be relatively easy to deal with, if not a bit cold. 

He is sorely mistaken. Within his first week at camp, he picks a fight with Shoyo, a son of Apollo, on multiple occasions and argues with multiple campers.

Word of Tobio’s nature quickly spreads throughout Camp Half-Blood. Somehow, the camp decides that as his brother, Koushi has taken on the role of Tobio’s keeper. A rather cross Tooru pulls Koushi aside one evening and tells him to put Tobio in line or he’d do it himself.

The worst part is that Koushi can’t exactly blame Tooru, even if his vague threats were a bit unnecessary. 

Takeda is the one who has the privilege of telling Tobio about the camp’s weekly Capture-the-Flag games. Tobio outright refuses to work on a team with anyone and storms off. So who has the responsibility of getting Tobio to change his mind? Koushi, of course. 

Tobio spends most of his days sulking and training, not even participating in camp activities, which is how Koushi knows that he can find Tobio behind the training arena.

Koushi never actually sees Tobio training, the second he rounds the corner, Tobio stiffens, snapping around to see who’s interrupted him.

“What do you want?” Tobio spits.

Koushi steels himself, smiling wide. “Sorry to interrupt you, I was hoping to talk about something?” Tobio opens his mouth, assumedly to complain, but Koushi cuts him off, “I’ll be fast. Just hear me out and you can go back to what you were doing.”

Tobio glares daggers at Koushi, the faintest ripples of electricity crackling down his spear. “Seriously?” Koushi says. “If you don’t want to talk that’s fine, we can just get it over with.”

“Fine.” 

“You have to participate in Capture-the-Flag tonight.”

“I won’t.”

Koushi sighs, “The rules say you have to participate, everyone does, even the campers who don’t want to. I know you’re new, but it’s a tradition and-”

“I said I won’t!” Tobio snaps, waving his spear through the air. A strong gust of wind fans out from the weapon. Koushi remains firm.

“Look, I don’t know what your problem is but I don’t like playing babysitter here either. These are the rules here and I was told to help you understand.”

“Just leave me the hell alone, idiot! I don’t need you!” Tobio’s face is twisted in anger. His chest heaves, his hands trembling around his weapon.

The air smells of ozone and Koushi isn’t sure if it’s his fault or Tobio’s. 

“Suit yourself,” Koushi responds evenly, turning away and leaving.

There is no doubt in his mind that Tobio is a powerful demigod, with such subtle displays of power manifesting in simple moments of anger. 

Irritation and fear swell in Koushi’s chest, cold intermingling with heat to form a raging storm. Tobio is better than him. He’s better than Koushi and there’s nothing he can do to make things okay. 

Koushi and Tobio quickly settle into a tense routine largely blanketed by an awkward, tense silence.

It’s not that Koushi doesn’t try with his new brother and cabin-mate, it’s just that every attempt at politeness is met with a dry response, if any at all. Koushi is hesitant to even feign camaraderie after Tobio’s shocking outburst of rage, his cruel words and blatant disregard for Koushi as his equal.

Even when Tobio isn’t explicitly rude to him, Koushi can’t help but get the idea that the other boy would much rather be alone when he’s in Koushi’s company. They never speak during meals, and at night, Tobio curls up on his bed, his back facing Koushi. When he wakes up in the morning, Tobio is always already gone.

Koushi knows that comparison between the two of them is inevitable, he himself has done it numerous times since meeting Tobio, but he never expected it to be such a detriment to his brother. Campers are quick to look at Tobio’s standoffish nature and compare him to Koushi; Koushi is warm and vibrant, known to many as a friend, while Tobio seems prepared to fight at a moment’s notice, muscles always tensed.

He spends most of his free time training far away from everyone else, making it very clear that if anyone does so much as watch him, there’d be consequences. 

It makes Koushi upset that the campers are so quick to antagonize Tobio, but he also fears the implications of people comparing their abilities. Koushi knows that Tobio is talented, he can feel the electricity running through his veins even though his half-brother keeps him at arm’s length. 

What happens when the campers decide to compare their skills? How quickly will he fall from their favour? How quickly will they see him for what he is?

Koushi tells himself he’ll never let this happen. He doesn’t want them to see him as weak, unimportant. He approaches Koutarou on impulse one morning at breakfast.

Koutarou loves training. He frequently wanders around the dining pavilion, asking powerful campers to spar like a dog begging for table scraps.

When Koushi leans up against the edge of the Poseidon table, Koutarou perks up. “Hey, dude, what’s up?”

“Not much, Koutarou. You?”

The son of Poseidon picks up his fork, gesturing vaguely with the sausage skewered on the end of it, “The usual, y’know?”

Koushi nods, despite really not knowing what the usual entails. “I was actually hoping to ask you for a favour.”

“Sure, what can I do?”

“I’ve been trying to take my training more seriously lately, I was wondering if you wanted to set some time aside each day to spar with me. It’s alright if you don’t have the time, but I thought that since-“

Koutarou cuts him off, “Are you joking? Hell yeah we can spar! You’re free in the afternoons, right Suga?”

Koushi nods, “I am, yeah.”

“Awesome. Aw man, I can’t wait. Zeus and Poseidon, head-to-head every day. You’re the best Suga, y’know that?”

Koushi quickly placates him, returning to the stoic Zeus table. He can feel Daichi’s gaze on his back from across the pavilion, but he works hard to avoid turning back; Daichi will know his insecurities in a second if he does. 

Sparring with Koutarou is as gruelling as Koushi wants it to be. Koutarou has an endless well of stamina and passion that he pours into their sessions, ever thankful for the exercise. Koushi comforts himself with the knowledge that he can hold his own against Koutarou, most of their matches being close until the very end.

He trains alone too, spending his time outside of activities and lessons in the training arena, honing his combat skills and exercising.

Koushi is exhausted more often than not, but he considers this to be the price of progress. He knows that he’s already improved greatly and that at this rate, he can only get better. He lets his fears of Tobio surpassing him ignite flames under his feet, keeping him in motion. He knows if he slows down the flames will consume him, that he’ll give into fear.

He spends what little downtime he allows himself with Daichi, wandering the beach and the forest, laying and talking in the fields. Sometimes they even play volleyball together and Koushi is always delighted to watch Daichi’s solid receives. 

He and Daichi haven’t been like this for long. 

It started as an accidental crossing of delicately-placed boundaries if anything; hugs that lasted a bit too long, lingering touches that seemed to invigorate Koushi in ways affection from friends shouldn’t. 

It’s blossomed into something young and clumsy, like the puttering of bees from flower-to-flower. Kisses hidden by foliage and moonlight, entwined hands tucked into hoodie pockets.

None of the other campers know about their relationship; well excluding Eita none of them know. They’re both content to keep it that way for the time being, maybe until September when camp quiets down. 

On an afternoon with still winds and quiet waves, they lie side-by-side on the beach, pinkies intertwined, uncaring about the sand that’s definitely in their hair. Koushi is still a bit sweaty from his session with Koutarou, but Daichi never seems to mind.

“You’ve been working really hard lately,” Daichi points out, almost abruptly.

“What makes you say that?” Koushi asks, turning over to study the contemplative expression on Daichi’s face.

“I’ve noticed,” he replies. “Plus, you’ve put on more muscle,” he adds, face flushing. 

“That’s a good thing, isn’t it?”

“It is. If you’re doing it for the right reasons.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Daichi props himself up on his side so his head is hovering slightly above Koushi; he reaches out, almost without thinking about it, tracing along Koushi’s jaw and cheek. “I’m concerned that you’re pushing yourself too hard… I’m concerned that this is reactionary.”

“To what?” Koushi mutters sharply.

Daichi’s hand stills, fingers lightly brushing against Koushi’s cheekbone, his brow furrowing at Koushi’s tone. “To Tobio’s arrival.”

“This has nothing to do with him.” A sharp wind has picked up around them, messing Daichi’s hair, displacing sand, and sending the no longer still clouds across the sky.

“Please Koushi, I don’t want this to turn into an argument. Just be honest with me, I’m here with you.”

Koushi gulps, “…I’ve heard Tobio has great power. I know he does too, I've seen it and I can feel it.”

Daichi hums, “But you’ve barely seen him use this power right? He refuses to play Capture-the-Flag, he trains alone, he keeps to himself. How do you know you don’t have that same power in you?”

“I just… I can’t. It’s different, Daichi.”

Daichi leans down, pressing a soft kiss to Koushi’s cheek. “I’ve seen you both and I’m telling you that’s not true, Koushi. Granted I haven’t trained with Tobio or seen him use his abilities, but I see his spirit. It has the same energy as yours, just manifested differently. You’re powerful in your own right, Koushi.”

“You think so?”

Daichi smiles and Koushi wonders how he’s gotten so lucky to have Daichi here with him. “I know so.”

Koushi lightly shoves Daichi’s shoulder and he rolls onto his back again. Within seconds, his pinky is looped back around Koushi’s, as constant as the waves lapping on the shore.

“Take good care of yourself, Kou. You’re exhausting yourself, I can see it in you. That stuff isn’t good for your health.”

“I’ll be fine, Daichi.”

“Koushi,” he warns.

He smiles lightly at Daichi across from him, “Don’t worry, Daichi. I know what I’m doing.”

Daichi nods, placated. The breeze never slows, clouds travelling the width of the sky at leisurely speeds. The waves stay calm.

Koushi returns to the Zeus cabin completely exhausted, ready to rest after a long day of pushing himself. He pulls open the heavy bronze door, noting the dull ache of his muscles.

He stills the second his eyes fall on the interior of the cabin. It’s a complete wreck. Both his and Tobio’s things are strewn all over the large room and pieces of furniture are charred and broken. 

In the center of it all stands Tobio, eyes wild and volatile, akin to that of a beast. 

“What the hell… did you do?” Koushi chokes out. 

He expects anger, part of him is even ready to defend himself should Tobio try to hurt him. Instead, fear explodes in Tobio’s eyes and a sudden burst of swirling air almost slams the bronze door shut on Koushi. 

“Look, we can try to fix things, whatever. Just why would you-”

Tobio surges forward suddenly and Koushi tenses, ready for a fight. Tobio instead shoves past him, breaking into a sprint the second he steps off the stoop of the cabin. He isn’t even wearing his shoes.

Koushi stares at the aftermath of whatever Tobio did in their cabin. His dresser is fractured in two, Tobio’s bed is singed, smoke trailing from the blankets. 

Koushi sleeps on the couch in the Big House that night, or rather he tries to. His mind won’t leave Tobio’s display of power, his fear and his carnage. 

Tobio slinks into the lounge well past midnight, passing out on the couch across from Koushi within five minutes. 

Koushi spends the night wide awake, pondering how much he’d be willing to give up in exchange for things to go back to the way they were before.

Koushi doesn’t outright neglect Daichi’s warning. He knows it comes from a place of care and that he means well. Daichi is important to him and Koushi wants to make him happy.

And yet, Koushi can’t stop himself. He trusts Daichi’s praise, but when he sees Tobio, his firm eyes and strong posture, he sees his father, he sees a king. 

Koushi is no royalty. He doesn’t demand respect like Tobio. He needs to earn it himself, no matter the cost.

Exhaustion weighs heavy on his body like weights fastened onto each of his bones. Even Tobio notices something is wrong with Koushi, shooting him a scrutinizing gaze over dinner one evening. Despite that, they still seldom speak to one another; Koushi gives up the idyllic fantasy of brotherhood.

Koushi sneaks out after curfew, training into the early hours of the morning. During the day is no longer enough for him, it’s hard in between his other responsibilities to get better. At night, there is no one around. No interruptions or onlookers. He is no longer Koushi, son of Zeus, he is only a boy that needs to be enough .

The moon sits well past the highest point in the sky, Lady Artemis well on her way to completing her nightly journey over their heads. 

Koushi doesn’t think his legs work anymore. Or his arms for that matter. 

He’s on his hands and knees, his chest heaving violently. He was sick anywhere between two minutes and two hours ago. His cheeks burn in shame at the prospect of the moon looking down on him, her stark visage burning a hole in his scalp.

He needs to stand up. He needs to persevere. Why won’t his body let him keep going?

Koushi shakily climbs to his feet using the wall as support, ignoring the burning underneath his skin and the shaking in his limbs.

He takes one step forward to continue before he’s stilled by a wave of nausea. His fingers dig into the concrete, anything to keep himself standing. Anything to stop him from falling again.

Distantly from somewhere behind him, Koushi hears a soft gasp and before he knows it, there’s a hand bracketing his waist and another on the centre of his chest, drawing his attention to his own rapid heart rate. The dagger in his left hand clatters to the floor, the metallic sound echoing through the empty arena.

“Koushi, Kou.” It’s Daichi. He looks concerned and Koushi feels a distant swell of guilt at the infinitesimal tremble of Daichi’s hand on his chest, the tightening of his fingers on Koushi’s waist.

Daichi continues speaking, but Koushi can’t make out the words. It’s like he’s underwater and Daichi is above him, image blurred and voice silenced.

A clear utterance of Koushi breaks through the haze and before Koushi knows it, his legs are giving out again.

Daichi catches him, steadfast as ever. “What did you do to yourself?” He whispers, eyes searching over Koushi desperately. He can’t bring himself to answer, eyes burning in shame.

“We’re going to the infirmary,” Daichi declares. 

“No,” Koushi chokes out. “Just help me to bed. I can’t.”

“There’s no room for negotiation here, you’re clearly ill. I’m not walking you back to your cabin like this.”

He’s sick? The idea feels impossible, like Koushi’s been trying to convince himself ichor flows through his veins for a month and he’s just now discovered that he still bleeds red instead of gold.

Daichi huffs frustratedly, “We’re going. C’mon.” He lugs Koushi to his feet, wrapping one of his arms over his shoulder. Daichi is carrying him more than he’s walking, but Koushi appreciates that even now, Daichi is willing to delude him that his body hasn’t completely failed him. 

The Big House is quiet in the late night, or rather early morning. Koushi wants to ask how Daichi knew to find him, but he doesn’t know how to broach the question, never mind speak that many words in quick succession. 

Morisuke has opted to take a night shift in the infirmary, a stroke of luck for Koushi. If anyone else was there, or if the infirmary was unattended altogether, they’d be in trouble. Morisuke might even be generous enough to omit the detail that Koushi had been training well after curfew when Takeda and Ukai inevitably find out he’s sick. 

There are more hands on him and the gentle itch of linens against his skin. For the first time in too long, Koushi surrenders to his exhaustion and the world fades to black.

Koushi is awoken by the stinging of his throat and the burning of the sun in his eyes. He can distantly hear someone speaking softly. He vaguely remembers being in the infirmary last night with Daichi, but beyond that, he has no idea what’s happened or what time it is. His head is pounding and his skin feels flushed and uncomfortable, hot underneath the thin infirmary blanket.

He groans softly, blinking the light from his eyes. When he opens them again, Morisuke stands above him, a concerned look on his face. “Good afternoon,” he says.

“Afternoon?” Koushi croaks.

“Uh huh,” Morisuke replies.

“Wh…what happened?”

“You’re totally exhausted and a bit sick, nothing some rest won’t fix.” Morisuke picks up a mug, coaxing Koushi to open his mouth, “Here. I have some nectar for you.”

Koushi lets Morisuke hold the cup to his lips, wrapping his fingers around it himself to tilt it. The liquid is a soothing warmth and the flavour is faintly spicy, but it doesn’t burn Koushi’s tongue. It washes away the ache in his throat and leaves him feeling cooler almost instantly, and Koushi realizes how tired he still is in the absence of his discomfort. 

“Daichi was here until about an hour ago,” Morisuke says, resting a thermometer to Koushi’s forehead. “Your fever’s gone down too,” he adds.

“Where’d he go?” 

Morisuke shrugs, “Told me he had some stuff to do. He didn’t leave throughout the night so I let him be.”

“Oh.”

Morisuke continues, “Yeah, he was all out-of-sorts when you came in. It was kind of gross actually, he was making mushy eyes at you all night.” 

Koushi chokes on his spit, breaking down into a coughing fit. Morisuke pats him on the shoulder like the gifted medic he is. “You know I called Daichi out on it too and he also lost his shit. That’s cute.” Koushi flushes, and he doubts it’s because of the fever. 

Daichi arrives shortly after Morisuke stops fussing over him, a tangible weight in his shoulders dissipating once he sees Koushi. 

“I’m going to, uh, work on something outside,” Morisuke awkwardly says, slipping past Daichi through the door.

Daichi’s ears burn red as he sits on the edge of the infirmary bed. “How do you feel?” He asks gingerly. 

“I’ve been better, but it’s not too bad.”

Daichi leans forward, softly kissing him. “Promise me you’ll never do that again.”

“I won’t. I’m sorry I troubled you, Dai.”

“It’s never trouble if it’s for you,” Daichi responds, tucking a loose strand of hair behind Koushi’s ear. “But you need to take better care of yourself. I admire your drive to succeed, I really do, but it’s fruitless if you only hurt yourself in the process.”

“You’re right,” he mumbles. “I won’t do it again.”

Daichi holds out his pinky finger, “Promise?” 

Koushi curls his own pinky around Daichi’s, “Promise.”

Daichi grins softly, and butterflies bubble up in Koushi’s chest like a geyser. Koushi shuffles over in the bed and pats the space next to him; Daichi lies down, squeezing in next to him. “How long do you think Morisuke will be gone for?” He asks.

“Dunno,” Koushi replies. “He basically knows about us, but hopefully a while.”

“Hopefully.” Daichi rests his head against Koushi’s shoulder. He traces his fingers up and down Koushi’s chest, committing the details to muscle memory.

“Can I tell you where I went while you were sleeping?” He asks.

Koushi chuckles softly, “Of course you can.”

Daichi's finger stills overtop of Koushi’s sternum. “I spoke with Tobio.”

Panic seizes in Koushi’s chest. 

He’s changed his mind. 

He knows you’re not good enough now. 

He’s sick of you. All you do is worry and act like a loser, of course he’d get bored. 

He’s finally learned that you’re weak.

“Did you?” He asks aloud, keeping his voice level. 

“I did. We talked about a few things, I wanted to get a better sense of who he was to help you get through this. I think that if you understand him better, you won’t be so worried. He seems very turbulent. I think… he needs someone to be there for him.”

“How though? I don’t even know where to start. He hates my guts.”

Daichi’s fingers slowly resume their path, up and down, up and down. “He does not. Patience, Kou. He’ll let you listen, I know he will. I wish you could see him the way I can… he seems almost scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“That’s hard to say, whatever it is doesn’t seem tangible. The fear seemed to be rooted within him, like it’s wormed its way in and he can’t get it out.”

Koushi nods, letting the predictable patterns of Daichi’s fingers soothe him, “I don’t want to leave him alone, I just don’t know what to do, Dai. How am I supposed to be someone he can look up to? He’s so withdrawn and angry that I feel like I can’t even talk to him.”

Daichi thinks for a moment. Koushi can feel his thoughts swirling beneath his skin, converging to form someone wise beyond his years, someone who understands the human spirit more than anyone Koushi’s ever met. Someone who knows those he meets so intimately and still chooses Koushi every day.

“Be the person you would’ve wanted to have there for you,” Daichi says.

He inhales, exhales, inhales again. “I think… it’s hard to be in your position— both of your positions. You’d understand him better than anyone else. I know you were lonely for a while Koushi, he doesn’t have to feel the same way.”

“You really think I could make a difference?” Koushi asks, his voice small.

“If anyone can, it’s you.”

He thinks of who he was at fifteen, he thinks of who he is now. It’s hard, feeling that you have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. It’s torn him down and Tobio may not be any different.

“Thank you,” Koushi replies. “I will.”

Daichi buries his face in Koushi’s neck, flattening his hand to rest lightly on the center of Koushi’s chest. A wordless gesture, but Koushi knows what it means nonetheless: Of course.

When Koushi returns to the Zeus cabin, it’s under strict orders for more bed rest and no exerting himself until he’s at one-hundred percent. The idea of it all stresses Koushi out, like he’s become too dependent on the idea of training whenever he can. 

It’s late in the evening and Koushi feels just about ready to collapse in his bed and sleep for the next twenty-odd hours. 

He expects a dark and empty cabin to await him. He won’t even bother turning on the lights, just blindly stumbling across the room and into bed.

What he finds instead is Tobio sitting in bed, sharpening the point of his spear very intently. When Koushi closes the door behind him, Tobio snaps to attention, intense eyes locking on Koushi. 

“Uh, hi,” Koushi greets, slipping off his sneakers and arranging them neatly next to the door.

Usually, Tobio just nods at him and returns to whatever he was doing prior to Koushi’s arrival. This time he puts down his spear carefully, setting the sharpening stone on the tile floor. 

“Where’d you go today?” Tobio asks, not unkindly but with curiosity.

“I was in the infirmary, I didn’t feel well.”

Tobio blinks, failing to hide his surprise, “Oh. Are you better?”

“Kind of,” Koushi says. “I’ll have to take it easy for a bit.”

Tobio makes a strange face, eyes flitting to his spear. Koushi assumes the conversation is finished and makes his way to his corner of the cabin, grabbing a hoodie Daichi lent him. 

“You train a lot,” Tobio blurts.

“So do you,” Koushi responds. 

“Yeah but you do it more than me.” Tobio pauses, picking up his spear and sharpening it more. “I like how it makes me feel strong,” he admits.

“Me too.” 

Tobio furrows his eyebrows confusedly, “But you’re already strong?”

Koushi pauses, hoodie halfway on. “What do you mean?”

“You’re strong,” Tobio repeats. “I saw you training with that guy who can do stuff with the water.”

“You… you really think so?”

Tobio nods, intensity in his eyes. Koushi remembers Daichi’s advice, his discovery that at the end of the day, Tobio is just another demigod in desperate need of support. Koushi thinks about what he wanted at age fifteen, the kind of person he’s always wanted in his life. He thinks of how to be an older brother.

He takes a deep breath, “…I could show you some things tomorrow, if you wanted that is.” 

Tobio lights up, excitement palpable in his body language and the faint smile ghosting his face, the first Koushi thinks he’s ever seen from him. “Really?” He asks, trying to hide his anticipation. 

Koushi shrugs, smiling back. “I don’t see why not. I had to learn basically everything myself, there’s no sense in putting you through the same thing. Plus, you’re my brother, I don’t mind helping out.”

“Thanks,” Tobio says softly, sharply. The words feel like the jut of a spear, fast and impactful.

Koushi nods, worming the rest of his head through the warm hoodie, relishing in the familiar scent. 

Tobio stands awkwardly, “I’ll leave so you can rest.”

“You don’t need to.”

Tobio shakes his head in a hurry, already slipping on his haphazardly strewn shoes, then stepping on the heels as he closes the door behind him. 

Koushi has a feeling that Tobio left for his own sake too. He still doesn’t know his brother, but he knows what Daichi means now. A few days ago he would take Tobio’s discomfort as an abrupt form of arrogance. Something tells him now that he’s been too critical of himself and Tobio. 

Even with the thoughts buzzing through Koushi’s head, he passes out the second his head hits the pillow. 

His dreams take the shape of a raging blizzard and the feeling of a knot tied in the center of his chest, tugging him towards an unknown, yet familiar destination.

He stirs briefly when he hears the heavy bronze door of the cabin click shut, followed by quiet shuffling. 

“Good night,” Koushi says as he hears Tobio climb into his own bed.

Tobio stills momentarily, a stretch of silence buzzing across the large cabin. Eventually, he responds, “Good night.”

Koushi thinks that if he squints through the darkness, Tobio looks a lot less closed off than he usually does.

The next day, Koushi becomes the first person to watch Tobio train. He learns two things: The first is that Tobio is in fact extremely strong, but also has no idea how to control himself; he’s undoubtedly a loose cannon. The second is that Tobio thinks that Koushi is the coolest thing in the whole world. Tobio listens to Koushi’s advice like it’s gospel, nodding intently with a starry look in his eyes. When Koushi asks him to show what he can do, Tobio steels himself like he’s aiming to impress the gods themselves.

It’s interesting, seeing this whole new side of Tobio; someone who is intensely passionate and driven to succeed, someone who sees Koushi as a paradigm of strength and resilience.

Koushi learns a lot more about Tobio in turn: he moved around a lot growing up, he has an older sister who works as a hairdresser in San Francisco and she sent him a letter last week, he didn’t know he was a demigod until a week before he arrived at Camp Half-Blood when his grandfather told him to find the camp and ask for Ukai. Koushi asks more about Tobio’s grandfather, but he refuses to elaborate.

Koushi pushes Tobio in more ways than one, he challenges his control, but also his anti-social nature. The first time he gets Tobio to attend campfire with him, Koushi tunes out everything except for Daichi at his left and Tobio at his right. Daichi jokes easily with Tobio, and Koushi can’t help but wonder what his boyfriend said to Tobio to make him so relaxed around Daichi. There is a sense of trepid joy in the younger boy’s eyes, like he wants to enjoy himself, but there’s something still holding him back. The light from the fire casts onto Tobio’s face, the shadows highlighting almost hidden worry lines on his face.

Koushi walks with Tobio back to their cabin, curiously watching the way he automatically tenses when Shoyo runs up to him, asking to spar tomorrow. Tobio chokes out a rejection, bristling until Shoyo is dragged off by an apologetic Morisuke.

“Why won’t you train with him?” Koushi asks, pushing open the heavy bronze door of the Zeus cabin. 

“Why should I?” Tobio says.

“Why not?” Koushi challenges. “He’s clearly eager to spar with you and you could use the experience. Who knows, you might even make a friend.”

Tobio screws up his face at the idea, shaking his head and getting his stuff ready for bed. 

“You guys would work well together, Tobio. He wants to get better just like you.” 

“I don’t care about making friends.” Tobio spits, tone clearly insinuating that the conversation is over. 

There are still many things about Tobio that remain a mystery to Koushi: the circumstances that brought him to Camp Half-Blood, his volatile attitude, the origin of his drive to improve while keeping everyone at arm’s length. Daichi claims that patience will reveal the full scope of his nature. It’s hard to stand by, waiting for the boy to open up and let Koushi help; he knows it’s all he can do for now. 

They’re eating dinner together one evening, Tobio has just put aside a portion of his food into the sacrificial pyre and is now lost in thought, staring at his plate.

“What’s on your mind?” Koushi asks, toying with his own meal.

“Have you met him?” Tobio blurts.

Koushi stills, “…Zeus?” Tobio nods intently. “I haven’t, sorry.”

“Oh,” Tobio says, looking dejected.

“The gods aren’t… awfully doting. Even if you meet him, I don’t think he’ll be what you expect him to be.”

There is a prolonged lapse of silence, Koushi returns to his plate, noticing that Tobio doesn’t move; he’s deep in thought, knuckles white around his fork, mouth pressed in a thin line.

“Did you ever make Father’s Day crafts in school?” Tobio asks, seemingly randomly. Koushi knows what he’s thinking about.

He chuckles, “I did, it’s weird right? I always made my dad look different every year, taking my own features and mixing them around.”

Tobio nods, “I always just made my grandpa. He kept all of them, even though they were shit.”

“He seems like a good man.”

Tobio looks small, “He was.”

Koushi reaches out and touches his arm. Tobio tenses under the touch, but eventually relaxes, tension easing like water slipping through fingers. “You can always talk to me, you know that Tobio?”

Tobio nods, “I know, Koushi.”

Tobio does talk to him, under a mask of darkness with a soft voice. “My grandpa raised me,” he says. “He knew who I really was and protected me. He moved me and Miwa around a lot so that monsters never got to us. Miwa used to get angry about it, but I never minded. It got harder after Miwa left and he got older. A chimera attacked us one day. I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t stop it. He… he didn’t make it. The last thing he told me was to come here.”

Koushi gets out of bed, padding over to Tobio; he’s curled up, facing away from Koushi.  He sits on the edge of the bed, gingerly laying his hand on Tobio’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Tobio. Thank you for trusting me and telling me that.” Tobio sniffles slightly. “Is that why you want to be stronger?”

“Yes,” Tobio replies. “I don’t want to lose anyone ever again. If I’m strong, I can make sure that won’t happen.”

“It wasn’t your fault. Bad things happen and sometimes we can’t do anything about it. That doesn’t mean it won’t hurt, but I don’t think he would want you to shut yourself away because you’re scared of losing people.”

“What do you mean?”

Koushi sighs, “That’s why you don’t want to make friends right?”

Tobio bristles, “I guess so.”

“I used to be scared of letting people in too. The more you close yourself off from others, the harder it gets. People here want to be there for you; me, Daichi… Shoyo. Life is really scary for us sometimes, but it’s a lot less scarier with people by your side. It’s okay to be a kid once in a while, Tobio.”

“You think so?”

“I do,” Koushi answers. “I’m… I’m gonna watch your back so don’t be afraid to be a kid. You don’t deserve to live afraid of losing people, you deserve to act your age.”

“But what about you?” Tobio asks quietly, his voice almost a whisper.

“What about me?”

“You’re my brother. I don’t want to lose you too.”

Koushi feels pride swell in his chest. He smiles sadly, patting Tobio’s shoulder. “I’m not going anywhere, don’t worry about me. I won’t let you be alone again, Tobio.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Tobio shifts slightly, his posture opening up a bit. Even though Koushi knows that he’s done talking for the night, he doesn't leave, letting Tobio feel his presence at his back. 

It’s only when his brother is fast asleep that Koushi gingerly goes back to his own bed, thoughts swirling with Tobio’s story, his fears.

Koushi finds it oddly poetic that beneath a stormy exterior lies a boy who is simply scared of being alone. It feels like looking in a mirror, holding his past self by the shoulders and uttering the phrase, “You’ll be okay, it’ll all work out.”

Koushi knows that Tobio will be able to trust others again someday. He’s living proof of it.