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Chapter Text

The bar was obnoxiously loud as Buck fiddled with his lukewarm beer, scratching a nail over the moisture-dampened label and watching as it crumbled beneath his fingers. It was an early Friday evening but clearly work was done for the day and people were ready to let loose and have fun. 

Buck was maybe a little jealous. 

A loud yell from a group of drunken men at the pool table to his left was quickly drowned out by the high pitched laughter coming from the back of the room; a large party of obviously tipsy women celebrating their friend's engagement if the easily overheard conversation was anything to go by. Buck 1.0 would've seized the opportunity to slide on over and buy the ladies a few drinks, flirt a little, but Evan wasn't that person any longer - hadn't been for a while. 

Not that Buck 2.0 was faring much better considering he currently had no girlfriend (Ali had played the whole 'it's not you, it's me,' card, a conversation Buck was usually on the opposite end of, but damn did that shit hurt...) and no job ("liability issues, Buck, I'm sorry,"), so what did that leave him with? 

Absolutely nothing, that's what. 

Okay, so maybe not nothing. He still had Maddie and he still had his health. Although that'd been a pretty close call too, at one point. 

Buck had lost count of the final number of surgeries he'd undertaken to fix the damage to his leg from the fire truck incident, not to mention the excruciating pain and the hours and hours of rehab just to ensure he would walk again. Luckily, all he had to show for it now were some gnarly scars and the ability to set off metal detectors at the airport without even trying (bonus, right?), but that didn't change the devastating reality that he wasn't allowed to go back to doing the one thing he cared about above all else: being a firefighter. 

The minute he'd been given the all-clear, Buck had started training for his CPAT and recertification for the LAFD. It'd been a long and arduous two and a half months, but every ounce of blood, sweat, and tears had been worthwhile when he'd passed what he needed to get back on the job. 

Except then the pulmonary embolism had happened and he'd choked on his own blood in front of his friends and family whilst suffering from undiagnosed blood clots. Laying back in that hospital bed, attached to a variety of medical equipment, the thought that he'd never be a firefighter again hadn't even entered Buck's brain. 

Apparently, not everyone shared his optimism. 

Bobby's confession in the emergency room today, after Buck had cut his arm on the smashed windscreen - an unfortunate consequence of saving a young man's life - had been like a knife to the gut. The blood thinners, probably the only things keeping Evan from a long-term stay in hospital, meant he was too high risk to return to saving lives with his team at the 118, and not even the fact that they had two fully trained paramedics on board at all times was enough to dissuade his Captain from agreeing with the board's decision. 

In a fit of anger Buck had told the board - and Bobby in particular - to shove their offer of light duty where the sun didn't shine. He hadn't worked his ass off to get back to full health so he could sit at a desk and fill out paperwork for a living. He wouldn't even be in his current predicament if it wasn't for Bobby's past actions. That kid, he'd been out for Bobby's blood, not his. Evan had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

Pretty much the story of his life. 

It was wholly unfair, but that didn't change the fact that he now had no job and he'd probably lost the respect of his friends along the way. 

Buck swallowed a mouthful of beer and ran a finger through the circle of condensation left behind on the table top, purposefully ignoring the white of the bandage sticking out from under his sleeve. 

Saving that guy today, the poor man's head smashed clean through the windshield of the delirious woman's car, it'd reignited a passion that had been missing throughout the last five months of his recovery. Buck couldn't picture himself doing anything different, nor working with any other group of people. Bobby, Chim, Hen - and Eddie, with his goddamn adorable kid - they were just as much his family as Maddie was. They'd all played a massive part in making him the man he was today. He couldn't lose that. 

Buck pushed his chair back and climbed slowly to his feet, abandoning his beer with a sigh. Mood ruined, he figured heading home to sleep it off instead of feeling sorry for himself seemed like a better use of his free time. Maybe when he woke tomorrow he'd be in a more positive headspace because dwelling on things certainly wasn't doing him any favours. 

Buck didn't really know why he'd bothered leaving the house in the first place, except that he'd wanted to drown his sorrows - not that he was supposed to be drinking whilst on his medication, but one beer probably wouldn't kill him. Replacing the quiet solitude of his apartment with the rowdy atmosphere of the bar had seemed like a good idea an hour ago, but now his sour mood wasn't blending well with the raucous laughter and partying going on around him. 

Decision made to leave, Buck froze as a smart-dressed man dropped down into the seat opposite, slamming two fresh beers onto the table. The stranger slid one over to Buck with a crooked grin. 

"Evan Buckley: firefighter. Am I right?" 

Buck offered a polite smile but remained silent, sliding both hands into his pockets as he tried to ascertain who the man was and why he knew his name. Observing his expensive suit and the crisp white shirt that showed no signs of being disheveled from a hard day's work, Buck thought he looked a little familiar. "Do we know each other?" 

The blond chuckled, reaching into his pocket to pull out a business card. "We've met." Slapping the card onto the tabletop, he waited patiently for Buck to pick it up. 

Buck did, and the glossy black lettering introduced the guy as Kev Lochert, a personal injury lawyer. At least he now knew why the guy looked familiar. "You were in my hospital room." 

Kev didn't even have the grace to look embarrassed as he winked at Evan, slouching backwards in his seat to make himself more comfortable. "Here, take a seat. Join me for a drink." 

Buck deliberated on making an excuse to leave but decided to throw caution to the wind. His empty apartment could wait for one more drink, and he hadn't technically finished his first beer. One more couldn't hurt, right? Not only that, but his curiosity was piqued seeing as this was the second attempt at contact the lawyer had made; the first being when Buck had been high on morphine and barely coherent in the days following his accident. 

"You're looking much better than when I saw you last," the lawyer confirmed with a toast of his beer as Evan reclaimed his chair. "How's the leg?" 

Buck took a mouthful of his own drink and forced himself to relax, one hand rubbing at the denim of his jeans instead of along the thick scars covering his leg. He was trying to break that habit. "All healed up, man; almost like it never happened." 

Which was mostly true, if Buck ignored the occasional twinge when he moved the wrong way and the dull, all encompassing ache that took over his leg whenever the weather sucked or he'd been stationary for too long. 

Lochert swallowed another mouthful of beer. "Well, that's good to hear. So you must be back saving lives with your buddies at the 118, right? Putting out fires and whatever?" 

The awkward silence was enough of an answer that Buck didn't even need to open his mouth. 

"Wait, really?" 

The bark of laughter set Buck's nerves on edge and he had to grit his teeth against the urge to get up and walk away. Realising his reaction had been unexpected, the lawyer shook his head in disbelief and quickly explained. 

"I mean, that's insane, right? Your own Captain's actions inadvertently caused the accident that nearly killed you and now he won't even let you back on the team?" 

Buck fidgeted uncomfortably in his seat, his own thoughts from earlier being thrown back in his face, except now he wanted nothing more than to defend Bobby. "It's a little more complicated than that, man." 

"Not from where I'm sitting, it isn't. Evan, you deserve better." 

Buck didn't have a comeback to that one so he took his time and studied the blond lawyer instead. He might not be the brightest, or even be known for making the smartest life decisions, but Buck wasn't stupid enough to not realise Kev Lochert was up to something, no matter how sincere he might be trying to sound. 

"Listen," he began, abandoning his second beer for the night. "Thanks for the drink, but I really should get going." 

Lochert held out a hand, making Buck pause. "Just hear me out, okay? If you don't like what I have to say, you can go, but I think you'd be an idiot to not even consider my offer." 

The guy had already managed to track him down twice, so Buck figured he had nothing left to lose by allowing him another few minutes to say his piece. "Fine." 

The lawyer's shark-like grin grew wider. "Smart man. Let me get you another beer." 

"No, I'm good, thanks. I really shouldn't be drinking anyway," Buck admitted with a shrug of one shoulder. 

Lochert raised an eyebrow but dragged his seat closer, giving Evan his undivided attention. "Okay, so, listen. The bombing of the fire truck and everything that took place that night was all over the news and in the national papers, right?" 

Buck nodded slowly, ignoring the shiver of unease that hit at the casual way Lochert talked about that night. For Buck it had irrevocably changed his life, so far not for the better, and while he was extremely grateful that things hadn't ended worse - hell, he could've lost his leg - it still caused his heart to race and his chest to tighten whenever he was reminded of it. Sucking in a lungful of air, he had to force himself to pay attention to the other man's words. 

"The publicity that received, Evan, that is what's going to work in your favour." 

Buck had to play the words back in his head before they made sense. He'd clearly missed something. "Work in my favour for what, exactly?" 

"For when you sue the department, of course." 

Lochert casually sipped his beer, as if he hadn't just suggested the most outrageous thing Buck had ever heard. Sue the LAFD? As if... 

"You're joking with me, right?" It was becoming clear that Buck had made a mistake agreeing to listen to this guy. "You've gotta be." 

"I'm deadly serious, man." Lochert's face showed that he believed every word he was saying. "Think about it: everyone there that night went out of their way to lift that truck off you. You're, like, LA's most famous firefighter right now. The department won't want to mess with that, you know?" 

Buck rolled his eyes, uncomfortable with the insinuation that he was anything other than a screw-up. "Seriously, it's been like five months. No-one's even going to remember me after that long." 

Lochert wasn't going to be easily swayed, though. "Which is why you threaten to sue. Get the department to shit their pants a little, right? They won't want to risk word getting out that the firefighter the entire community pulled together to save isn't being allowed to go back to his job. There'd be a riot on their hands." 

Buck sunk down lower into his seat, uncomfortable with the conversation. "Listen, I get what you're trying to say, but I don't think-" 

"Trust me," Lochert interrupted, his voice rising with his excitement. "I know what I'm talking about. It's my job, remember? I do this kind of thing every day." 

The blond lawyer finished the last of his beer with a flourish. "The LAFD will give you your job back in no time - anything to save them the embarrassment of you going public with their shitty actions. It's a no-lose situation." 

Buck was starting to see where this was headed. "And you get what out of it, exactly?" 

"Hey, can't a guy help someone out and it simply be from the goodness of his heart?" 

Buck raised a disbelieving eyebrow and Lochert sniggered. 

"Okay, you got me. The LAFD are likely to throw a ton of dollar your way to keep it all hush hush, so I'm not going to say no to, let's say, ten percent as a fee?" 

Buck shook his head in disbelief. Obviously it would be nice to think this guy wanted to help him get his job back just because he was a decent person, but the reality of it was, as always, cold hard cash. 

"You don't have to make a decision today, Evan. It's just a suggestion," Lochert amended with a more genuine smile. "But the sooner you shake my hand, the sooner we can get you back on that fire truck, you get me?" 

Climbing to his feet, the lawyer held out his hand for Buck to shake. "You don't strike me as the kind of guy that usually drinks alone in a crappy bar on a Friday afternoon, man. Ask yourself: is this what you want to spend the rest of your days doing? Feeling sorry for yourself?" 

Kev Lochert grabbed the business card still sitting in the middle of their table and slapped it against Buck's chest, forcing the younger man to take it. "I'll give you a couple of days to think things over and then I'll be expecting your call." 

The lawyer patted him gently on the shoulder before heading toward the exit, leaving the bar without a word or a glance to any of the other patrons. 

Watching him go, Buck let out a sigh as exhaustion hit him like a freight train coming into the station with no brakes. Running a hand through his longer-than-usual curls he let his gaze fall to the white piece of card still clutched in one hand, contemplating whether he could get away with another beer...or maybe ten. Getting drunk would make things so much easier. 

It would be stupid to even consider the skeevy lawyer's offer, right? Suing the people he wanted to go back to work for seemed like crazy logic, even to him. Buck wasn't dumb; he knew Lochert was only offering his services as a means of making money - that was his job, after all - but that didn't mean he wasn't still tempted all the same. With the way things were now, Buck was unlikely to ever set foot back in the fire house. Did he really have anything more to lose? 

Buck pulled out his cellphone and woke the screen with a tap of his finger, grimacing at the notifications that jumped out at him. 

Eleven missed calls and eight unread messages. 

Six of the calls were from Maddie and the rest were split between Eddie, Chim and Hen; all of them from within the last hour, which meant Bobby had obviously opened his mouth at the end of their shift and revealed to the team that he'd quit. 

Ignoring the part of him that desperately wanted to take back his angry words from earlier, beg Bobby for that pathetic desk job, Buck let his stubborn side win and cleared the screen with a swipe. Tapping in the digits to Lochert's phone number instead, he saved the lawyer under a new contact and slipped the phone and business card into his back pocket before climbing to his feet and heading for the exit. 

He had some thinking to do.

Chapter Text

Buck woke early the next morning, tired but with a decision made. 

It might've taken him a full night of tossing and turning, of weighing up the pros and cons of Lochert's offer, but he finally knew beyond a doubt that there was really only one answer to the lawyer's proposal: 

A big, resounding no. 

Buck loved his job, he really did, and he'd do absolutely anything in his power to get it back, but suing his family? That was always going to be a ridiculous plan. One that had no hope of achieving anything other than pissing his team off more than he likely already had when he'd quit in a fit of anger. 

No, he wouldn't - he couldn't - do that to them. Because if he was honest with himself, no amount of money in the world could ever replace the sense of achievement and belonging that working at the 118 gave him. And even if, somehow, Lochert's crazy plan did work and the department gave him his job back? Things with Bobby and the others would be irreversibly changed. There was no way he was willing to risk that. 

A small, selfish voice in the back of his head couldn't help but point out that surely he deserved some form of compensation for the agony and disruption the accident had caused, but Buck buried that thought with a quick shake of his head. If anything, the last five months had been a harsh lesson that he should take nothing for granted. Everything could be gone in an instant. 

Mind made up, Buck grabbed his cellphone from the bedside table and scrolled until he found Kev Lochert's number, hitting the call button as he climbed out of bed and began a series of repetitive stretches - exercises set by his physiotherapist that were designed to keep the damaged muscles in his leg in good working order. The thick scars of his injury pulled uncomfortably, but he was adept at ignoring the discomfort by this point and Buck knew all too well how much worse things would be if he skipped a day, the pain and a telltale limp hounding his every step until he gave in and did them anyway. 

The dial tone sounded in his ear as he grunted out his discomfort. There were several rings before the sound cut out, switching to an automated voice that prompted Buck to leave his message after the tone. The instant relief at not having to speak to Lochert in person was short-lived as the beep of the answer machine encouraged him to begin talking. 

"Hey, it's Buck - Evan Buckley. We, uh, officially met last night. At the bar?" Giving up on his stretches for the moment, Buck began pacing the length of the room, overcome with a sudden nervous energy. "I've been thinking about your offer and... Thanks, I think? But I'm going to have to say no. It's just, I... They're my family and I can't do that to them. I am going to get my job back, but I'll do it my way." 

Ending the call with a deflated sigh, Buck ignored the other notifications on the lit up screen - more missed calls and messages from Maddie and the team - and plugged the device in to charge, quickly finishing off his exercise routine and taking his blood thinners before dropping wearily onto the bed. 

Running a hand through his sweaty hair, Buck couldn't help but think back to the angry conversation he'd had with Bobby the day before. Captain Nash, whether Buck liked to admit it or not, was more than just a work colleague. More than just his boss. Bobby had become somewhat of a substitute father figure; a guiding hand to keep him from going too far astray. Evan supposed that was why his betrayal with the board of the LAFD felt so much worse; why he'd reacted so poorly. 

Buck's own father was... distant on the best of days and completely absent on the worst. Growing up, the only person he'd really had in his corner, showing him love and believing in him, was Maddie, but even she had left him behind eventually. Bobby, however, had chosen to stand by him through his lowest days - the self-destructive behaviour that'd nearly cost him his job; his self-diagnosed sex addiction; the breakup with Abby... even the long recovery from the recent accident - but he'd also been there for him through the good times, too. In fact, the more Buck thought about it, the more he realised just how much of an idiot he'd been about the whole situation. 

Bobby had only ever wanted what was best for him, he could see that now. But as captain of the 118 he also had the rest of the team to look out for - a team that wouldn't be able to do their jobs properly if they were constantly having to keep a close eye on Buck to make sure he hadn't hurt himself whilst out in the field. With his track record, it was a given that something would inevitably go wrong - and while Buck might've survived a damn tsunami whilst still recovering and on his blood thinners, that sort of luck couldn't hold out forever. Not in their line of work. 

Cursing softly, Buck knew he'd messed up and he needed to fix things before it was too late. He needed to go to Bobby and apologise - to him and to the rest of his team, his friends - for acting like a spoilt child. Hell, he'd get down on his knees and beg for their forgiveness if he had to...

Buck eyed his watch with a frown as he paid the Uber driver and thanked him for the ride to the station. It was several hours later than he'd originally planned, but by the time he'd showered, tidied his apartment and then stopped by the hospital to have his stitches checked and bandages replaced, half of the day was already over. Luckily the team would only be partway through a twenty-four hour shift. 

Taking a deep breath, Buck turned his attention to the fire station before him, his heart swelling with longing at the familiar view. The tall brick building felt like the safest home he'd ever known, the one place where he could always be himself, but it had been so long since he'd stepped foot inside that he couldn't help but feel a little nervous too. Not because of what he was heading in there to do, but that there was a very strong possibility he might never be allowed back again. The thought sent his anxiety skyrocketing. 

Not wanting to get caught wallowing, Buck pressed onwards, keeping his steps even despite the thundering of his heart inside his chest. As he walked through the shutter doors and into the apparatus bay, Buck let the familiarity wash over him, allowing it to soothe his nerves as he made a beeline for the day room. Someone could be heard clattering around in the kitchen, most likely Bobby cooking up a storm, so Buck headed in that direction, climbing the stairs as his gaze swept the rest of the floor in search of his friends. 

From the sound of clanging weights and upbeat music, Eddie was most likely letting off some steam in the gym between calls. Buck felt a stab of guilt at knowing he'd purposefully ignored the messages of concern from his best friend, but hopefully, once he'd cleared the air with Bobby, he could fix that too; offer to take him and Christopher out for dinner as an apology. 

A loud cackle - easily recognisable as Hen - and Chim's whining tone echoed suddenly through the building. Buck couldn't help a grin of his own at the sound, pausing midstep to listen in on his bickering friends. He couldn't see where the troublesome two were exactly, but he knew whatever they were up to was bound to cause Bobby some grief later when he had to put a stop to their mischief. 

Shaking his head, Evan finally reached the top of the stairs where he paused and stole a moment to watch Bobby as he worked. The older man had his back to him, but Buck could see him stirring something in a saucepan with one hand while the other searched the cupboard above him- most likely for a jar of spices. Bobby did love his spices. The smell reminded Buck that he hadn't eaten since late last night as his stomach gave an appreciative rumble. 

Knowing the bell could go off at any moment to call the team away, Buck cleared his throat gently and watched as Bobby spun to face him, a look of surprise on his face. 

"Buck?" 

"Hi, Bobby." Ignoring the way his voice cracked, Evan offered an uncertain smile as he kept his distance, shoving both hands deep into his pockets to hide the fact that they were shaking. After the way he'd left things with his captain the last time they'd spoken, Buck wasn't wholly certain of how welcome his visit today would be. 

Bobby turned back to the food he was preparing, lowering the heat and giving the contents one final stir before giving Buck his full attention. "What are you doing here?" 

The words weren't unkind, but they weren't filled with their usual warmth either. Buck shuffled from foot to foot, suddenly unsure. Maybe he should've just called... 

"I, uh- I wanted to talk, if that's okay? About our conversation yesterday." 

Bobby stayed silent and Buck watched as the older man studied him, light brown eyes trailing from the curls on his head to the boots on his feet and back again. What he was looking for, Evan had no clue but he felt his face heat all the same. 

"Sure, let's talk," Bobby finally responded, grabbing the towel thrown over one shoulder and wiping his hands. "Do you want to do this here, or shall I call the rest of the team up too? They might want to hear what you have to say for yourself." 

Buck frowned, not fully comprehending what was being implied. "Bobby, I-" 

"I haven't told them yet, if that's what you're worried about," he interrupted. 

"Told them?" Buck took a step closer, as if that would help to clear up the confusion. "Told them what, exactly? I came here to apologise." 

Bobby raised a disbelieving eyebrow, reaching into his back pocket before pulling out a folded piece of paper. Stalking towards Buck as he smoothed the sheet out to its full size, Captain Nash slapped the document against Buck's chest, making the taller man fall back a step as he pinned it in place with the sharp jab of his finger. 

"This is a funny way of apologising, Buck. Suing me? Suing the department? What were you thinking?" 

Buck flinched at the unexpected anger radiating from the usually kind man in front of him, stumbling over words that refused to come as he struggled to fully comprehend what was being said. He snatched the piece of paper, needing to see for himself, and felt the colour drain from his face as he spied Lochert's name signed in bold at the bottom of the page. That sonofa- 

"Wait, Bobby, I... This isn't what it looks like." 

"It looks perfectly clear to me, Buck. In fact it's right there in black and white, or have you forgotten how to read since I saw you last?" 

"No, there's been some kind of mistake - you have to believe me." Chest tightening with growing panic, Buck crumpled the offending letter beneath sweaty fingers. "I wouldn't..." 

Any further protest of innocence died on his lips at the look of sheer disappointment written all over Bobby's face and Buck felt his heart shatter, tears stinging at his eyes. Fight or flight instinct kicking in, he shoved the offending sheet of paper into his pocket and spun on his heel, all but tripping down the stairs in his haste to get away, unable to handle the weight of the false accusations. 

"Buck, wait!" 

Ignoring Bobby's call, Evan took the stairs two at a time, blinking to clear his blurred vision. Too distracted to focus to what was going on around him, he crashed into a solid wall of flesh with a thud. 

"Whoa!" 

A warm and steadying hand kept him from falling to the ground. Buck swiped hurriedly at the tears still clouding his vision and was rewarded with the sight of a sweaty but concerned Eddie standing in front of him. Buck's apparent replacement, Lena Bosko, was at his side. 

"Hey," Eddie murmured. "Are you okay?" 

Evan shrugged out of his best friend's grip, not finding enough oxygen left in his lungs to form a response. The sound of Bobby's hurried footsteps on the stairs behind him reminded him of the urge to get out of there and thankfully the bell chose that moment to ring, signalling an emergency for the team to respond to. 

Buck used the distraction to make his escape before he made much more of a scene, keeping his head down as he hurried around the side of the building and out of sight. Collapsing against the solid brick wall he had to work hard to force air into his lungs, the growing panic a tight band across his chest that caused his vision to tunnel. 

Waiting until the rig roared past, sirens blaring, Buck allowed his knees to give way beneath him.

Chapter Text

Eddie shared a worried glance with Hen and Chim as the truck raced towards their latest call-out - an electrical fire inside a laundrette. Bobby was in the captain's seat, unusually silent and brooding; the repetitive tapping of his fingers against his knee a clear sign that things were not okay. 

It was obvious that something had happened between him and Buck, although Eddie had arrived too late to witness what - or why it would've caused his best friend to race out of the fire house like his tail was on fire - but then Buck's behaviour had been anything but normal throughout the last few months. Not that Eddie could really blame him; not after everything he'd been through. The news that he'd quit had come as a shock to them all, but Eddie knew it was just Buck lashing out, reacting to a situation he couldn't control. He was certain once the younger firefighter'd had a chance to calm down that Buck would be back working alongside them in no time. 

Pulling out his phone he fired off a text to the man in question, conscious of the uncomfortable silence filling the truck. When, a few minutes later, he still hadn't had a reply, Eddie frowned. 

"Hey, Cap." He waited until he had Bobby's full attention. "Is everything okay?" 

Chim's wide-eyed stare warned him a little too late that it probably wasn't a question he should be asking whilst they were on their way to a call, but Eddie wasn't someone to walk away from helping out a friend in need. Although whether that friend right now was Bobby or Buck was still to be determined. 

Bobby sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "Look, you're all going to find out anyway," he answered, his voice weary. "Buck is filing a lawsuit against me and the LAFD. His lawyer sent me a letter this morning." 

"That boy..." Hen shook her head in disbelief. Chim stayed silent but Eddie could tell he wasn't happy. Eddie, though, was just confused. 

"That really doesn't sound like Buck." 

Bobby nodded his agreement as the truck pulled to a stop outside the burning laundrette. "I thought so too, and yet here we are." 

"Maddie is going to kill him." Chim's voice was grave as he threw open the door and jumped out. Hen followed suit with Eddie a step behind, and while waiting for Bobby to climb out and take charge of the scene he checked his phone once more. 

Still nothing. 

"Listen," Captain Nash warned as they assembled in front of the laundrette, dark smoke billowing out into the streets around them. "I've spoken to the commissioner about the situation." Making a point of looking at Eddie, Bobby continued, his face serious. "He's strongly advised that no one makes contact with Buck while all of this is being dealt with." 

Eddie scowled, making his feelings on that bit of information clear for everyone to see. Bobby could do little more than offer an apologetic smile before turning to Chim. "I know Maddie's his sister and so the situation is a little more difficult, but that unfortunately means you too." Chim nodded solemnly as Hen patted him on the shoulder in a show of support. 

Eddie sighed, fighting the urge to roll his eyes at the ridiculousness of it all. They had just under half of their shift left. Originally, his plans for after work had been simple: pick Christopher up from his abuela's so he could spend a little time with his boy before dropping him off at school. Now though, it looked like he needed to track down his best friend so they could have a serious conversation, Bobby and the commissioner's advice be damned. 

Evan didn't know how long he sat there, his back to the wall of the fire house as he hugged both knees to his chest. The panic had subsided once he'd remembered how to breathe through it - a technique he hadn't needed to use in a very long time, but one that came in handy all the same - and with a clearer head came the anger and confusion. 

Pulling the crumpled piece of paper from his pocket, Buck took his time to read the official looking document declaring his intention to sue the Los Angeles Fire Department and Captain Robert Wade Nash for wrongful termination. The words sent a chill down his spine as Bobby's look of disappointment flashed before his eyes, but that wasn't even the worst part. 

Right at the bottom of the page, next to the lawyer's signature, was his own. 

Buck felt his anger boiling over. He knew he hadn't signed anything for Lochert and yet the messy scrawl on the page was an exact replica of his own. How the hell had he forged it so perfectly? And why? 

Furious at the betrayal, Buck climbed to his feet, pulling out his cellphone as he forced shaking fingers to dial the man's number. It rang once, twice, three times before going to voicemail. His message was short and to the point. 

"Hey, it's Evan Buckley. Call me back. Now." 

Ending the call, Buck paced a few feet as he tried to work out his next course of action. The thrum of nausea at the pit of his stomach was making it hard to think straight but he knew he couldn't just hang around the station feeling sorry for himself. He needed to fix this mess before it got any worse. 

With the jeep in the shop being repaired, Buck ordered an Uber to take him back home. There was a ten minute wait due to traffic so he carried on pacing back and forth, hoping his lift arrived before the team made it back from their call. He couldn't bear the thought of running into them yet, not after what had gone down with Bobby. 

His phone vibrated signalling a message. The screen showed it was from Eddie but Evan left it unread, just like the twenty other messages on his phone from the last couple of days. Instead he opened his web browser and typed Lochert's name into the search bar, scowling as the only results that popped up appeared to be promoting the lawyer's firm. Making note of the address in downtown LA, Buck heard his Uber arrive just as his phone started ringing. 

This time the flashing screen displayed the name he wanted to see - Kev Lochert. 

Taking a deep breath, Buck answered the call as he jogged towards his Uber, nodding politely at the driver as he climbed in the back and settled into his seat, strapping himself in. 

"Evan, it's Kev. I got your message. How can I help?" 

Buck grit his teeth against the angry tirade he wanted to launch at the man. "The lawsuit, why did you file it?" 

There was a pause before the lawyer responded. "We never filed it, Evan. Your message this morning made it loud and clear that it wasn't what you wanted." 

"I have a copy," Buck growled. "Right here in front of me. It has your name all over it." 

Lochert hummed, but didn't seem put out at being corrected. There was another pause before he carried on. "I think I might know what's happened here. Hold the line for me, will you? I'll be right back." 

The tinny sound of hold music filled his ears and Buck slumped back in the seat, closing his eyes in a bid to shut out everything going on around him. If Lochert was telling the truth and he'd never actually meant to file the lawsuit, maybe this was all just one big misunderstanding. Not that it didn't still suck - Buck couldn't get the image of Bobby's disappointed face out of his head. But shouldn't he be used to disappointing people by now? It was what he always did. 

A soft click signalled the return of Lochert. "It's as I thought, Evan. We had the paperwork drawn up in advance in case you decided to go ahead with the lawsuit and my secretary seems to have submitted it in error." 

Buck couldn't help the loud sigh of relief at the news, slumping down further into his seat. "So what does that mean? Can it be retracted?" 

"Of course," Lochert agreed readily. "But I'll have to bring some paperwork over for you to sign. I can meet you at your apartment in, let's say twenty minutes?" 

"Yeah, sure. I'll be there." 

Hanging up the phone, Buck allowed himself a modicum of hope. Once he'd sorted things out with Lochert he would call Bobby and explain the mess. And apologise, of course. Just like he'd originally planned. 

Things were finally starting to look up.

Chapter Text

"Evan, what the hell?"

Buck was hit with a wave of guilt as he unlocked the door to his apartment, cellphone glued to one ear as his sister vented her frustrations at him. He'd been ignoring Maddie's calls and messages alongside everyone else's so she had every right to be mad at him.

"Mads, I'm-"

"Don't you dare say you're sorry. What were you even thinking?"

Buck frowned, suddenly unsure of the actual reason he was being yelled at. Was it for the ignored messages or had she already found out about the lawsuit? Speaking of, Lochert was due to arrive in less than five minutes he realised as he checked his watch, kicking the door closed behind him without bothering to lock it.

"You can't quit your job and then refuse to talk to anyone for days. And why did I have to hear about it from Chimney instead of from you?"

Oh, that. Buck sighed. "I just needed some space to clear my head, that's all."

"And you couldn't do that whilst still employed?"

The sarcasm wasn't appreciated. "Whose side are you on here, Maddie?" Screw Chim for opening his big mouth. That man couldn't keep anything to himself even if his life depended upon it.

"This isn't about taking sides, little brother. But while we're on the topic, it sure wouldn't be the side of the person who quit the same job he nearly killed himself trying to get back to!"

"They wouldn't let me go back to being a firefighter," Buck argued, unable to disguise his bitterness. "It's the most important thing in the whole world to me, you know that. What else was I supposed to do?"

"Take the desk job, Evan," Maddie all but yelled. "Prove to Bobby and the team that you're back to being one-hundred percent instead of moping around the house feeling sorry for yourself. What good will that do you?"

"I am sick of having to prove myself," Buck spat out, tears stinging his eyes for the second time that day. "Time and time again, over and over... Why can't people just accept that I know what's right for me?"

Maddie let out a heavy sigh, the line falling quiet as she listened to her brother's distress. Her next words when they came were gentle but stung just the same. "Evan, you know you've not always been the best judge of-"

"No," Buck interrupted, suddenly not interested in hearing whatever it was Maddie had to say about his lack of judgement when it came to his physical wellbeing. He was exhausted, both mentally and physically, and he didn't need any extra shade thrown his way, however well intentioned. Neither did he want to listen to someone who was supposed to be on his side tell him he was being dumb. "I can't have this conversation with you right now, okay? I'll..." His voice cracked. "I'll talk to you later, sis."

Hanging up without waiting for a response, Buck turned his phone off and threw it onto the coffee table instead of at the wall like he wanted, just as a loud knock came from the front door.

To have Maddie attacking his decisions, the same sister that'd promised long ago to always have his back, was like a knife to the gut. Buck knew that Bobby probably loathed him after today's debacle (although disappointing the parental figures in his life seemed to be the norm for him), and there was no way that Hen and Chimney would take anyone other than their captain's side in anything. That left Eddie, and Eddie was... complicated. So who did Buck have left in his corner?

Absolutely no one, apparently.

Somehow he wasn't surprised.

Head pounding with too many unwelcome thoughts, Evan did his best to switch them all off, not having the mental capacity to deal with the drama. Once Lochert got rid of the stupid lawsuit, he would do everything in his power to get his life back on track and attempt to fix things with his friends and Maddie, but until then he could only deal with one problem at a time.

Opening the door, the fake smile Buck had plastered on his face fell as he spied Kev Lochert on his doorstep. The lawyer, looking as immaculately dressed but as arrogant as ever, was shadowed by two unfamiliar faces. The three men loomed in the doorway.

"Evan, buddy!" Lochert greeted, cheerfully pushing his way into Buck's apartment without invitation, a stack of paperwork tucked under one arm. His unexpected companions, one tall and lean, the other large and overly muscular, followed closely behind and Evan instinctively took a step back.

Sensing his discomfort, Lochert cracked a grin. "You caught us on the way to a business lunch. These are my associates, Tomasz and Alfie." Tall and lean was Tomasz, while Alfie was the gym junkie. "When I get you to autograph the retraction we'll need these guys as witnesses to confirm you weren't coerced into making your decision."

Buck accepted the obvious explanation with a nod of his head, silently berating himself for the spike of paranoia. "Sure. Just show me where I need to sign so we can get this sorted, once and for all."

Lochert nodded, gesturing towards the coffee table and Buck allowed himself to be herded in that direction, glad when the other two men kept their distance. Once they were settled on his sofa, he watched as the lawyer dropped the stack of papers onto the table in front of them and began to arrange them in some sort of order that made sense only to him. When the blond pulled out a Montblanc fountain pen from his breast pocket, Buck nearly choked. Some of those things were worth more than two thousand dollars...

"So, listen," Lochert began, shifting in his seat as he turned his attention from the paperwork to the younger man beside him. "Before I let you sign your life away we need to have a serious conversation."

Buck stayed silent so Lochert took it as permission to continue.

"I received a phone call from the LAFD half an hour ago. Now I know you didn't want to go ahead with the lawsuit, Evan, but the commissioner had agreed to settle this matter outside of the courtroom."

Buck frowned. Already? "What do you mean?"

Lochert offered one of his brightest smiles as he answered the question. "It means, Evan Buckley, that you've won. The mayor and the LAFD are adamant they don't want the bad press - just like I said from the very beginning. They're offering you six and a half million dollars in compensation."

Buck felt the colour drain from his face as the room started to spin. "Six and a half million?"

"A life-changing amount for sure," Lochert agreed, his excitement apparent. "Not that it in any way makes up for the pain and distress of the accident, of course."

Buck ran a hand through his hair, slumping forward as Lochert's words circled his brain. Six and a half million... "But what about my job?"

There was a long enough pause that Buck could tell straight away the news wasn't what he wanted to hear.

"Unfortunately, the commissioner wasn't quite so generous on that front, man. I'm sorry."

That figured. Even the commissioner would rather throw a ridiculous amount of money at him than let him back on the job after Bobby had shared his thoughts on the matter. Buck felt sick to his stomach.

"Obviously it's not official yet. Their legal team are still drawing up all the relevant documents, but if you don't think it's enough we can continue with the lawsuit," Lochert added. "Or we can propose a counter-offer. Stipulate that you want your job included as part of the compensation."

Buck shook his head, bewildered. "I don't..." He turned to face the lawyer, desperate to get his point across. "This has never been about the money. I just want my job back."

Lochert shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I get that. And I know you're upset, but this is six and a half million dollars we're talking about here. That's a life-changing figure."

"No, you're wrong. Being a firefighter is life-changing," Buck argued, climbing to his feet so he could burn off the sudden restless energy thrumming through his veins. "I don't care about the money. In fact, I don't want it."

Lochert took a deep breath, climbing to his feet as he shoved his expensive pen back into his breast pocket. "Listen-"

"No, for once you listen," Buck begged, sick of having his choices ignored; ridiculed. "I honestly don't care what the LAFD are offering. They could double or triple the amount of money and my answer would still be the same. That's not what I'm after."

"So what you're saying," Lochert snapped, disbelief written all over his face, "is that you're willing to turn down the payout of a lifetime for a stupid job?"

"Stupid?"  Buck glared incredulously at the lawyer and his sudden change in tone.

It dawned on him then, why Lochert was pushing so hard for him to accept the money. His fee on a payout that size would keep him in business - and, apparently, ridiculously expensive fountain pens - for years to come.

"You know what?" Buck was done playing the lawyer's game. "I think we're done here. You should leave."

Lochert blinked, but didn't immediately acquiesce and Evan watched as a mixture of emotions cross the blond's tanned face. Frustration, disbelief, anger. It seemed to be the latter that eventually won.

Gesturing to the two other men standing mostly forgotten in the room with a snap of his fingers, Lochert watched as Tomasz and Alfie zeroed in on Evan, grabbing the young firefighter by the arms and pinning him in place between them with their bruising grip at his unspoken order.

"Hey," Buck yelled in surprise. "What are you doing? Let me go!"

"I've invested far too much time in you, Evan," Lochert eventually answered, his expression as cold as his voice. "I'm not leaving without my money."

Alfie rammed a meaty fist into Buck's stomach, cutting off whatever he was about to say as he doubled over in pain and choked on his words. Tomasz grabbed a fistful of his curls, yanking him back into an upright position.

Lochert closed the distance between them in a few long strides, relishing in the younger man's flinch as he encroached into his personal space. "I did my research on you, you know. I saw you in that hospital bed, a pitiful, broken man, and I knew straight away that you'd be an easy target."

Buck struggled to pull away but Tomasz and Alfie only dug their relentless fingers in harder.

"Except you've been nothing but trouble, when really all I'm doing is you a favour," Lochert continued with a look of outright disgust. "You'd never be able to earn that sort of money, not in several lifetimes. Especially not working for the city."

"This was your plan all along, wasn't it? Whether I agreed to the lawsuit or not," Buck growled and could only glare as the lawyer flashed him a shark-like grin. It was answer enough. The faked signature on Bobby's copy should've given it away, but as usual Buck was too busy dwelling on his own insecurities to use his damn brain.

"So, consider this your one and only warning." Lochert's charming smile was like a venemous snake preparing to strike. "The lawsuit will stand," he commanded. "You'll get your money, whether you want it or not, but instead of my regular fee of ten percent, I'll be taking seventy. And if you try reporting me to the police, or if you open your mouth to any of your stupid little friends, we'll be back to pay you a visit. And maybe that delightful little cripple boy you seem so fond of."

Buck saw red at the mention of Christopher. Despite the fist in his hair and the arms holding him back, he capitalised on Lochert's stupidity at standing so close to ram his forehead into the idiot's nose, relishing in the loud crack as bone and cartilage broke and blood exploded in a fine mist.

"You stupid sonofa-"

The gold ring on the enraged lawyer's finger split Buck's lip as he answered the headbutt with a backhand. Buck grunted at the flash of pain but grinned through bloodied teeth as he watched the river of red flow from Lochert's obviously broken nose to stain his pristine suit.

An unexpected kick to the back of his knees knocked his feet out from under him and Buck hit the floor with a thud as Tomasz and Alfie loosened their hold on him. Rolling in a bid to get away, a hand grabbed the collar of his shirt and dragged him backwards, the material cutting off his airway with a jerk. Clawing at his throat in an effort to catch his breath left him open for the next hit - a steel toe-capped boot to the ribs, and any air he might've sucked in was forced out again with a pained groan.

"Careful, gentlemen. He's on blood thinners," Lochert's voice snarled from nearby. "But don't let that stop you. Teach him a lesson."

Buck lost count of the blows to his body after that. Fists joined feet and it was all he could do just to curl into a ball to protect his vital organs as the blows rained down, one after another.

When a lull in the beating allowed him a moment to catch his breath through bruised ribs, Buck recognised the sound of breaking glass. Blinking through tears of pain to open his eyes he discovered a bloodied Lochert smashing up his apartment in a petty display of rage; his coffee table flipped with a careless hand that sent glass and a flurry paperwork in every direction. When the lawyer turned his attention to a shelf of photo frames that held cherished memories of the people he loved most - Eddie and Christopher at Christmas in front of a terribly decorated tree; Maddie dressed up as a zombie cat for Halloween; Buck with his team before all the drama with the ladder truck'd happened - and swept the lot onto the floor in a cascade of more shattered glass, Buck renewed his struggle to get away.

Tomasz stepped in for another round of vicious kicks but Evan lashed out with a foot of his own before the first could land, catching the thug in the side of his knee and sending him stumbling away with a yelp of pain. With a little distance between them it gave Buck the opportunity to sweep the tall man's feet out from under him, knocking him to the ground. Ignoring his own protesting body, Buck threw himself at the downed man, landing a solid punch to his jaw that stunned him enough to keep him grounded for the moment, but Alfie chose that moment to rejoin the fray, grabbing Buck by the back of his shirt and bodily throwing him away from his partner.

Before he could reorient himself, the larger man had stomped down on the thick scar tissue covering his previously injured leg, once, twice, three times, and Buck screamed as the pain sent shockwaves throughout his whole body. Trying to protect the limb from further assault resulted in several broken fingers when the next kick crushed his hand as well. He zoned out after that, the pain becoming too much.

The next thing Buck became aware of was a harsh slap to the face. He blinked to find Lochert kneeling over his prone form, the blood from his broken nose mostly dried and flaking away as he grinned down at him. "Still with us?"

Another slap threatened to send Buck back into oblivion, so Lochert delivered the last part of his message before he lost his target audience. "Remember, Evan. If you tell anyone about our deal we'll be back and next time we won't be quite so gentle."

Climbing to his feet, the lawyer herded Alfie and a limping Tomasz towards the door. "We'll be watching the house," he called over his shoulder. "So don't try anything funny."

The door slammed behind them as they left.

Buck lost track of how much time passed as he faded in and out of consciousness, but the house was growing dark and he was shivering from the cold the next time he blinked back to some semblance of awareness. Knowing the chill was likely from a mixture of blood loss - his blood-thinning medication for once doing more harm than good - and his body reacting to the trauma of the beating, he knew he had to move, and soon, or he wouldn't be getting up again.

Bracing himself for the inevitable pain, Evan took a moment before moving to assess his injuries, starting from the bottom and working his way up. His scarred leg was throbbing in time to the beat of his heart from the vicious stomps it'd taken but he could move it despite the discomfort. He remembered one of the blows hitting his kneecap. While there was a lot of swelling, thankfully nothing felt broken beyond repair. His left hand, however, was a mess of damaged fingers - a casualty of trying to protect his leg - and Buck had to swallow hard against the rising nausea when, even in the faded light of his apartment, he could see the broken, misshapen digits.

Not wanting to dwell on that for too long, Buck continued with his self-assessment.

His ribs were, hopefully, just bruised. He'd be able to tell more once he was upright but, for the moment, whilst breathing was agony it wasn't laboured enough to suggest anything as dangerous as a punctured lung. He ignored the multitude of bruises he could feel all over his back and his stomach, skipped past the muscle-deep bruising on his arms from where Lochert's thugs had held him in place, and moved on to the still bleeding cut on his lip.

The lawyer's ring had torn into the soft flesh easier than a hot knife through butter. Buck prodded the cut with his tongue, regretting the action almost immediately as his mouth refilled with the thick, iron tang of blood. He could feel the tackiness all down his neck that caused the thin material of his shirt to stick to his chest, and sensed the puddle that'd collected beneath his cheek. One of his eyes was swollen almost shut, and prodding gently with the fingers on his non-broken hand revealed another gash that still oozed freely - this one to his eyebrow.

Buck knew the blood loss was going to be a problem if he left his wounds untreated for too long, so, taking as deep a breath as his ribs would allow, he moved before he could change his mind. He wasn't proud of the sounds he made as he forced his body into an upright position, the room spinning sickeningly as he dragged his sore body across the floor until he could prop himself against the nearest wall, but he was just glad there was no one around to hear them.

A frantic knock at the door soon stole that illusion from him.

Buck felt his heart skip a beat as a wave of terror froze him to the spot. Was it Lochert? Had he sent his goons back to finish the job?  He wasn't sure he could survive another round with Tomasz and Alfie, not in his current state.

The knocking came again, louder this time, but thankfully followed by an all-too-familiar voice.

"Evan? Are you home? We need to talk."

It was Maddie.

The sheer relief at recognising his sister's voice almost sent him collapsing back to the floor, Buck's limbs turning to jelly as the spike of adrenaline-fuelled fear dissipated, leaving him weak. Maddie could help him. She could patch him up, like she used to when they were younger and Buck had fallen out of the tree and broken his arm, or wiped out on his skateboard and scraped his face, and he could tell her everything and she'd know what to do; know how to make everything better.

The relief was quickly swallowed by sheer panic as Lochert's parting words replayed themselves. If you tell anyone about our deal, we'll be back... We'll be watching the house... Don't try anything funny.

No, he had to protect Maddie.

The urge to call out for help anyway was great enough that Evan clamped his good hand over his own mouth, just to be certain the words couldn't escape. Maddie didn't deserve to get caught up in yet another mess he'd made for himself. That, and he'd never forgive himself if she got hurt because of him.

"Evan, c'mon. Please? I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to yell at you like that."

Buck listened, letting his silent tears fall, not bothering to hold them back this time.

"If you don't want to see me, I understand." She sounded sad. "I'll give you your space, but could you please turn your phone on? Everyone is worried about you."

Everyone? Buck wasn't sure who she meant by everyone. Once upon a time it might've meant Bobby and the team, but he knew better, didn't he?

"Look, I have to get to work," Maddie sighed, still talking loud enough to be heard through the door. Buck had a fleeting moment of panic when he realised that the door wasn't even locked. If she tried the handle, she'd walk in to find the mess - and not just the destruction of his apartment left behind by a pissed off Lochert, but the pitiful, bleeding disaster that was her baby brother.

"Please, please, please..."

It took a moment for his own whispered words to reach his concussed brain. When they did, he simply clamped down harder on the hand over his mouth, ignoring the stab of pain as he accidentally dug shaking fingers into his lip. Whether he meant for his sister to leave so she'd be safe or whether he was begging for her to open that door so she'd find him, he wasn't completely sure.

"I'll stop by after my shift and we'll talk," Maddie promised with an air of finality. "I'll bring breakfast. I love you, Evan."

Buck felt his heart shatter into a million tiny pieces as he listened to his sister's footsteps, his one chance at help, walk away into the distance.

His sobs, when they came, sounded loud in the cold, dark house.

Chapter Text

Chapter 5: This a sign of all the Hell that I've been livin' through

Buck forced himself to wait until he was absolutely certain Maddie had left, the sound of her heels tap-tap-tapping softly into the distance, and then he waited a little longer. Just to be sure.

He had to be sure.

Enough time eventually passed that his tears were dried tracks on his face and his breathing had returned to as close to normal as his pain levels would allow. Buck didn't want to think about the foolish things he might've done if his sister had hung around for even a second longer. Not while he still had Lochert's threats ringing in his ears and blood drip-dripping from his face.

The lawyer had to be delusional, right? He had to be. For him to believe he could get away with coercing Buck - or anyone, for that matter - into going ahead with an unwanted lawsuit was utter madness, but then their rendezvous today had more than proven he was a dangerous man. One who would stop at nothing to get his own way.

Buck wasn't dumb; he knew he couldn't handle this on his own. He needed help. But who could he trust to have his back? And could he really drag someone else into his mess and risk them being hurt because of it?

Because they would get hurt.

Buck only had to feel the bruises marring his skin or look at the destruction all around him to know that for a fact.

Remembering the threat against Christopher sent a fresh wave of panic through him and Buck had to swallow down a wave of nausea. The thought that anyone, let alone a grown man, could contemplate harming a hair on the youngest Diaz's head made him sick to his stomach, but Buck knew he would willingly die a thousand deaths before he allowed anything to happen to that precious boy. That thought was enough to encourage him to move.

His phone was buried somewhere amongst the scattered glass and broken furniture. He needed to get to it and he needed to warn Eddie; let him know his boy was in danger... and that it was all Buck's fault.

Eddie twisted the cap off his bottle of water and drained it in three large gulps, crushing the plastic between aching fingers as he slouched against the side of the rig, stealing a moment for himself to simply catch his breath. It'd been a manic final half of their shift, so the few minutes of respite felt like actual heaven.

The fire at the laundrette had been handled pretty swiftly, but within half an hour of being back at the station they'd been called out to a suspected overdose on the twentieth floor of a high-rise. One with no working lift. Then there'd been a dumpster fire at the local pet food factory that had spread to the neighbouring industrial park, a missing child that'd escaped from their underage babysitter (thankfully the boy hadn't wandered far and had been found safe at a nearby park, but the parents were in for some serious questioning from the authorities), and now they were closing out the evening by dropping off a teen that'd needed resuscitating after her group of idiotic friends had dared her to inhale from a canister of helium at a party. Eddie was more than a little relieved that Christopher's teenage years were still a fair way off. Not that he'd expect his son to ever take part in anything quite so dumb - or so insanely dangerous...

Needless to say, the team were running on adrenaline, empty stomachs, and far too much caffeine. Eddie couldn't wait to get back to the station so he could scrub the evening's sweat and grime from his skin, and then he wanted to eat his bodyweight in mac and cheese before going home to give his sleeping boy a hug and a kiss.

He watched as Hen and Chim handed their patient over to the waiting medical team at the doors to the ER and stifled a yawn - not his first of the night. Bobby was at the back of the rig, having stepped away a moment ago to take an important call. From the ramrod straight posture and serious expression on his captain's face, Eddie guessed it had to be the commissioner. Again. Still, he used the opportunity to pull out his own cellphone to check for any new messages. It was the first chance he'd had in hours.

He couldn't help but crack a smile at seeing the photo of Carla and Christopher in their pyjamas and matching purple face masks, sparing a thought for the state of his bathroom towels as he read the update on what they'd been up to that evening: homework, dinner, and then a movie and pamper night. The clock on his phone showed it'd gone ten pm so the message had been sent a fair few hours ago, but Eddie appreciated it all the same. Knowing his boy was tucked up safe in bed made his job a hundred times easier and helped to settle the gnawing anxiety that'd made itself at home in a dark corner of his brain these days.

Saving the photo to his phone to look at again later, he closed Carla's message without responding, not wanting to disturb what was hopefully a peaceful night's sleep for the pair, and switched to his text conversation with Buck, glancing around quickly to make sure no one was close enough to see what he was up to. Bobby's earlier instructions had been crystal clear: no one was allowed to make contact with Buck until the litigation issue had been resolved, but Buck was Eddie's best friend and something about the whole lawsuit scenario just wasn't sitting right with him.

Buck was an impulsive, and occasionally foolish, guy; there was no denying it. But a lawsuit against Bobby and the fire department without so much as a word to Eddie about it?

No.

Eddie might have been dealing with a lot of heavy stuff of his own lately, but he was certain Buck would have come to him with a decision this big, which meant something else had to be going on. He just needed to get hold of the stubborn idiota that was his best friend to find out exactly what it was.

With another glance over his shoulder to make sure Bobby was still occupied, Eddie started typing out a message. One that told Buck he'd be over after his shift in an hour, maybe two at a push, depending on how long it took to finish up here and then shower away his exhaustion, and that he wasn't willing to take no for an answer. As much as he was looking forward to it, macaroni cheese and hugs with his sleeping boy would have to wait just a little bit longer.

The message he'd sent Buck earlier, from after the blond had run out of the station like his tail was on fire, was still sitting there unread, but Eddie was done with being ignored and with having to wait for permission - be it from Buck, or from Bobby. He wasn't going to allow Buck to come up with any sort of excuse to push him away. This, whatever it was, needed to be sorted - before things got so out of hand that the whole team suffered for it.

Even before he'd finished his furious typing, the icon at the top of his phone changed colour, letting him know that Buck was online and - finally - reading his original message. Perfect timing. The relief Eddie felt at seeing the three dots flashing at the bottom of his screen a heartbeat later, signalling that Buck was messaging him back, was immense.

Eddie let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, leaving his own message half finished as he waited patiently for Buck's to come through.

The crunchcracklecrunch of glass from the shattered coffee table beneath his knees was barely audible over his laboured breathing, but Buck kept his focus on crawling through the remains of his apartment instead of the multitude of new cuts and scrapes he was opening up on the delicate skin of his good hand; the other wrapped protectively around his ribs so he wouldn't knock his broken fingers. Moving was agony and the weight on his swollen knee was bringing fresh tears to his eyes, but the tight band of panic criss-crossing his chest helped him to push the pain aside while he searched in the near dark for his phone, not willing to waste the time - nor the energy needed - in turning on a light. Christopher had to be protected at all costs. Buck wasn't willing to fail at such an important task - not again. Especially not after the last time.

His searching hand hit something solid, sending it skittering further out of reach, and Buck bit back a curse before forcing his tiring body to follow in the same direction as the sound. The urgency of his actions was making his head spin, his movements stilted and erratic as each stuttered, half-breath struggled to feed his lungs with sorely needed oxygen, but Buck pushed on anyway, the desire to warn Eddie overriding anything and everything else.

He would forever be grateful that his best friend had found the strength to forgive him for the disaster that was the tsunami; for Buck not having Chris' safety as his one and only priority, and for turning his back on that precious boy for an instant too long in order to save someone else. Buck couldn't - no, he wouldn't - survive failing for second time.

There.

Buck's relieved sob echoed loudly through the wrecked apartment as he finally wrapped trembling fingers around the case of his phone. Turning it over, the moonlight from a nearby window revealed a shattered screen but everything else appeared to be where it was supposed to. He prodded at the power button and prayed with everything he had that it would turn on.

The few seconds it took for the phone to come to life felt like he'd aged five years.

Buck choked out a whispered prayer of thanks to every deity he could remember the name of as his usual welcome message flashed across the mosaiced screen, the sudden brightness in the dark room forcing him to blink fresh tears from his eyes. Before the phone's software had even finished loading he was hitting the icon for his messaging app, growling out his impatience as it took forever to open and mentally cursing himself for ever turning the damned thing off.

The clock that appeared in the top left corner gave Buck his first look at the time since his phone call with Maddie earlier that evening. It was late, much later than he'd first thought, but still early enough that Eddie would be on shift, which meant Christopher would be in bed - with either Carla or his abuela watching over him. Would that keep him safe? Lochert's recent actions meant it probably wouldn't matter who Chris was staying with. It just meant that they would end up being collateral damage too. And it would all be Buck's fault.

"Come on, come on!" He begged the phone to load faster.

Buck could tell the moment his network provider kicked in as a series of vibrations signalled the arrival of one, two, no, three new messages. Maddie's name was attached to the first two, while the third was from an unknown sender. Ignoring them all, Buck scrolled to his message thread with Eddie and skimmed quickly over the unread text from the man asking him what was wrong; why he'd left the station in such a hurry.

Buck froze, his thumb hovering over the call button despite the urgency thrumming through his veins as the poison of his self-doubt struck fast, fangs sinking deep. What if Eddie was out on a call and didn't hear his phone? Buck's phone was pretty badly damaged. What if Eddie couldn't hear him? Or worse, Bobby would have let the team know about the lawsuit against him by now, wouldnt he? So, if Eddie saw Buck's name on his ringing phone, would he even bother picking up? Or would he no longer want anything to do with him?

Pull it together, Evan!

Even with Maddie's voice of reason in his head, yelling at him in a way that only a sister could, Buck knew he was spiralling. He just couldn't do anything to stop it; the panic dialing up a notch as his breath caught in his lungs.

Texting.

He could text.

That way, Eddie could read the message and wouldn't even have to acknowledge that it was Buck who'd sent it if he didn't want to. As long as he knew to keep Christopher safe - and as far from Buck as possible - then it wouldn't matter that Buck's heart would shatter into a million tiny little pieces, much like the screen of his phone.

Mind made up, Buck balanced his cell in the crook of his bad arm and used his one good hand to start tapping out a text. Typing with one shaking finger was slow going and it meant the message was full of typos, but Buck forced his brain to focus as best as he could.

22.11pm: Eds, I neeed ypu 2 check on Chrs. Please. Makesure hes safe. Ill explan everyth-

The vibration that signalled another incoming text message distracted Buck enough to make him pause in his typing. It was from the same unregistered number that had messaged him before and Buck felt his unease skyrocket as he saw that it contained an attachment this time.

Another message followed a moment later.

Overcome with a sense of dread, Buck opened up the new thread of messages, holding his breath as he prayed that it was just spam, or an old friend with a new number.

It wasn't.

22.03pm: If you know what's good for you, Buckley, you'll keep your mouth shut.

22.11pm: Just in case you didn't think I was serious...

22.11pm: [image attached]

22.13pm: [image attached]

The first image was Maddie. The second was a little blurry, but still obviously Chris and Carla.

Both pictures had been taken from a close enough range that the photographer would only need to stretch out one greasy paw to be able to touch his sister or his favourite Diaz.

22.14pm: You'll never get to them before I can. Remember that.

It was all Buck managed to take in before the nausea reared its ugly head and he had to drop the phone so he could turn his head to the side and vomit.

Eddie waited patiently for Buck's message to come through, the three litte dots that told him Buck was typing away taunting him as they flashed across his screen. When they disappeared he held his breath, not bothering to check if Bobby or the others were still occupied with their tasks.

But after a few seconds there was nothing.

Frowning, Eddie held his phone up and checked his cell service, realising he had full bars. Next he checked to see if Buck was still online. The green icon showed that yeah, he was.

Until suddenly he wasn't.

"What the hell, man?"

Rolling his eyes, Eddie hit the call button and waited for his friend to pick up, pacing the length of the truck as his patience wore thin. After a short pause, Buck's voicemail sounded in his ear and Eddie couldn't hold back his growl of frustration. "Hey, we need to talk. Call me back, asshole."

Eddie regretted the words before he'd even finished saying them, but he hung up the phone just as Hen and Chim returned to his side.

"Hey. Are we ready to roll yet?" Chimney asked with a snap of his gum.

Eddie shoved the phone back into his pocket with more force than necessary and nodded, doing his best to disguise any lingering annoyance he felt at Buck and at himself. From Hen's curiously raised eyebrow Eddie knew he wasn't doing a very good job.

"Yeah. We're just waiting on Bobby," he shrugged, turning his back on his friends.

Without waiting for the inevitable questions that were sure to follow, Eddie climbed into the truck and took his seat near the far window, closing his eyes and throwing his head back under the pretence of resting.