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Liam’s not stupid; actually, general consensus would have him up there as ‘very smart’, so when his dreams about Louis Tomlinson transfer from the safety of his own bed to the middle of History class, well. He has to reassess his feelings.
He’s always just assumed that it was because Louis was always around, pulling pranks and irritating the teachers, and therefore his sleeping brain was naturally including him as it ran through the day, unfortunately with added hormones. Except now he’s watching the way Louis’ chewing on the end of his pen as their teacher goes on about the Reformation and he’s imagining things, and that doesn’t really coincide with his theory.
Liam’s a little worried he’s going to have to accept that it’s an actual crush.
“Who are you staring at?” Niall asks, dropping down next to him at lunch, coke spilling over the brim of his can.
“No one,” Liam says, prying his gaze away from where Louis has Harry Styles in a headlock. A couple of seconds later his view’s obstructed anyway.
“You look like death,” Liam says and Aiden sticks his tongue out. Aiden’s an anomaly to most people; Liam’s pretty sure the majority of the school think he’s heavily into drugs or in a cult or something, and okay, so it’s not exactly strange for him to climb out his bedroom window in the middle of the night and forget to sleep, but Liam’s mostly just convinced he’s misunderstood.
They’re an unlikely group, he supposes, he and Niall with their academic clubs and straight-A’s and Aiden with his fondness for too-big cardigans and giant glasses and eyeliner, but Liam has never cared what the rest of the world thought about him so he just smiles at his friends and pretends he’s not crushing on the most popular boy in school.
+
Liam waves to his mum and pulls his jumper closer around him as she drives off; it’s early, too early for most students to start milling around, but Liam doesn’t mind, his headphones in and a copy of Crime and Punishment in his bag. He sits on the curb, pulls his knees up against his chest to fight off the cold and taps out uneven rhythms against his thigh. Mr Matthews, his music teacher from last year, waves at him from across the car park as he balances too many papers, and Liam raises a hand in lazy reply.
Another car pulls into the school gates and someone gets out, flinging a backpack carelessly over their shoulders and slamming the door with too much force, and it takes Liam’s sleepy brain a second to recognise Louis.
Liam thinks about waving; they’re the only two students around and it seems like something you’d do, except Louis looks at him and doesn’t come over, leans against a stone pillar where he is and starts playing on his phone, and Liam doesn’t really want to look like an idiot. Instead his fingers dig into his jeans, scratching over denim, and he tries to remember that a crush is nothing. Fleeting. Meaningless.
He’s always been a shit liar.
+
“You have that look again,” Niall says, rolling his eyes, and Liam blinks.
“Sorry?” he says, and Niall gives him that look, the one that says I know people think I’m a hyperactive moron but you should know better.
“You could always talk to him,” Niall says and Liam stares at him incredulously.
“He’s right you know,” Aiden says, looking at where the sleeves of his cardigan are stretched over the tips of his fingers.
“And say what? ‘Hi Louis, so I don’t think you have any idea who I am and even if you did you’d probably only know me as that geek who wins school achievement awards, but I’m sort of a bit crazy about you’?”
“Don’t pretend you haven’t thought about it,” Aiden says, “go on, in your fantasies what does he say back? Is there swooning? Does he dip you when you kiss?”
“No,” Liam says, and he knows he’s blushing, can feel the heat spreading across his cheeks, “maybe. Shut up.”
“I once dreamt that Harry Styles asked me to prom,” Niall says happily, and he doesn’t even blush when Aiden raises an eyebrow at him. Liam can’t believe he’s jealous of Niall’s lack of shame.
“You don’t have to be obvious,” Aiden says, turning back to Liam. “You could ask to borrow a textbook, or mention one of those band badges he has all over his bag. I don’t know.”
“I guess,” Liam says, unconvinced, and Aiden rolls his eyes with a sigh.
“Or you could just sit here and stare at him from afar pathetically.”
Liam sinks into his chair and resists the urge to say thank you.
+
Liam thinks this was Aiden’s idea – it’s always Aiden’s idea – but there’s too many people and the music’s too loud and he can taste something sweet and cloying on his tongue that he can’t remember drinking.
He can see Niall dancing with people they don’t know, laughing all the while, and that’s good. He likes it when Niall’s happy. He thinks he saw Aiden talking to a guy earlier, hands gesturing wildly, and that’s good too because Aiden doesn’t talk to enough people and he thinks the guy had a beard. Beards are cool.
There’s a girl from his maths class sitting on the stairs giggling into some guys mouth and she waves enthusiastically when she sees Liam even though she probably doesn’t even know his name.
He’s thirsty again, needs to get the taste out of his mouth, and he manages to find the kitchen after a couple of attempts. It’s mostly empty except for a couple of guys making out against the counter, and Liam ignores them as he grabs a can of coke because there’s still part of his brain functioning enough to tell him that he probably doesn’t want more alcohol.
He’s chugged down half of it when he recognises the scarf on one of the guys, and, oh, okay, Aiden and beard guy apparently moved past the whole talking thing. He thinks about saying hi but Aiden probably wouldn’t appreciate it so he leaves them be and tries to find somewhere to sit.
There’s a sofa pushed against a wall in the hallway and he manages to steal a spot as somebody moves away.
“Hi,” someone says and Liam turns to find a girl passed out next to him. He frowns for a moment and wonders if he’s progressed to the point of hearing things before there’s a laugh and someone peering over passed-out girl’s head.
“Oh,” Liam says, “hi,” and then: “oh hi,” when he realises the person is Louis.
Louis grins and Liam mirrors it, and there’s something clawing at the back of his mind telling him to be careful but he ignores it because Louis’ smile is very, very pretty.
“She passed out in the middle of telling me about her boyfriend’s crappy apartment,” Louis says, nodding at the girl. “I think she thought I was his landlord.”
“Awesome,” Liam says, “did you offer to lower his rent?”
Louis laughs. “No, but I did say she should watch out for the rats.”
“Brilliant,” Liam giggles, “that’s brilliant.”
“So,” Louis says, “what brings you here?”
Liam shrugs. “Aiden,” he says because that explains most things in life; Louis looks a bit confused but he nods anyway.
Liam’s about to say something potentially ridiculous and embarrassing about how shiny Louis’ hair looks when passed-out girl sits up and clutches her hand to her mouth, stumbling forward, and Liam watches with a sick sort of fascination as she throws up in a nearby plant pot.
“So,” Louis says, stretching out now there’s space and Liam tries not to think about how close they are.
“So.”
“Do you want to kiss me?” Louis says, and Liam blinks and nods, and he’s pretty sure there’s a reason why this is a bad idea but he can’t remember what it is when Louis’ leaning forwards and brushing their lips together.
Louis tastes sweet and sharp and a little like pineapples, and Liam falls into it, fingers sliding over the cotton of Louis’ t-shirt and twisting it out of shape until Louis pulls away, shouting “Harry!” happily over Liam’s shoulder, and oh right.
Bad idea. Bad, bad idea.
Liam untangles his fingers and stands up on shaky legs, ignoring Louis’ questions as he stumbles towards the kitchen.
“Aiden,” he says, “we have to go.”
Aiden ignores him, still kissing the bearded guy like it’s more important than breathing, and Liam squeezes his eyes shut and feels selfish as hell as he tries again.
“Aiden, please.”
Aiden groans as he pulls away, but he looks at Liam and nods his head, exchanging a few words with his kissing partner before following Liam out and grabbing Niall.
Liam throws up when they’re three streets away and hardly even feels Niall’s hands sliding over his back through the shaking.
+
“Okay,” Aiden says, kicking back Liam’s duvet and crawling in next to him, “run this by me again. You and Louis kissed, and that’s a bad thing because….?”
Liam has his head buried in his pillow so his words are muffled when he says: “Because we were drunk and he probably doesn’t even know who I am and I like him too much.”
Aiden sighs. “Wow,” he says, “you’re possibly worse than me at all this. Niall will be the only one of us to ever succeed at an actual relationship and that’s just worrying.”
Liam’s head is pounding and his mouth tastes like something died but he managed to convince his mum that’s it’s a bug and not a hangover so at least he’s not having to listen to her lecture on underage drinking and peer pressure.
“Look,” Aiden says softly, “has it ever crossed your mind that he knows exactly who you are?”
“Yes,” Liam says because he’s never been able to lie to Aiden, “and that’s even worse. Because then there’s the chance that I won't be good enough.”
“Liam,” Aiden says, shuffling closer and wrapping his fingers around Liam’s shoulder, “he’d be lucky to have you.”
“Yeah?” Liam whispers, and he wants to believe it, he really does.
Aiden nods. “Yeah,” he says, “and he’s an idiot if he doesn’t know it.”
+
Liam spends Monday morning looking around corners and arriving late for class and it’s ridiculous and stupid and he totally deserves the appalled looks Niall and Aiden give him. By lunchtime he’s managed to avoid Louis completely which is both a relief and kind of sad, and, yeah.
He knows he’s pathetic.
The thing is, Louis seems to be everywhere; Liam’s always noticed him, been able to pick him out in a room, but now he seems to be constantly in Liam’s eye line like he’s going out of his way to be seen, and Liam doesn’t let himself think about what that could possibly, maybe mean.
And then Niall slides his tray onto their table, looking confused, and says: “So, Louis Tomlinson asked me to tell you that you should stop avoiding him,” and Liam can’t stop thinking about anything else.
“Told you so,” Aiden says with a grin because Aiden’s a bastard.
“Am I missing something?” Niall asks, and Liam drops his head onto the table with a dull thud.
“I hate my life,” he says, but he only means it a little bit.
+
“I don’t want to, like, make you lock yourself away and rock yourself into a little ball of psychosis or anything, but I think Louis might be trying to woo you,” Aiden says, cornering Liam outside the music block, and Liam’s blinks.
“Did you just say ‘woo’?” he asks, and Aiden rolls his eyes.
“Focus!” he says. “The guy you are ridiculously in like with is dropping notes in your satchel and sending over cake at lunch and making eyes at you across the classroom and you’re ignoring him. Even Matt thinks you’re being stupid.”
“Louis is not making eyes at me,” Liam says, “and also, who’s Matt?”
“No one. Shut up. We’re talking about you.”
Aiden looks strange, almost flustered, and wow. Okay. That’s new. Liam really needs to start paying attention to other people again.
“Louis isn’t trying to ‘woo’ me,” Liam says, even though he sort of really wishes it were true.
“You’re an idiot,” Aiden says simply, and Liam frowns.
“Hey!”
“No, seriously,” Aiden tells him, “for someone so smart you are being very, very dumb.”
“What are we talking about?” Niall asks as he joins them.
“Nothing,” Liam says at the same time as Aiden says: “Liam shunning Louis’ attentions.”
“Oh,” Niall says, “yeah, that’s kind of mean Liam. I thought you liked him?”
“I hate you both,” Liam says.
“Okay,” Niall says happily. “So, hey, did you see the song taped to your locker yet?”
Liam seriously needs new friends.
+
When Aiden says “We’re going to a party” Liam isn’t surprised because this is Aiden and he’d once explained to Liam that the anonymity of it all was the place he felt most alive. To be fair, they’d both been drunk at the time, but it had made a certain amount of sense.
He isn’t expecting Aiden to start blushing as soon as they get there or for him to say, “Guys, this is Matt,” as he gestures at a guy who looks kind of familiar and is staring at Aiden like he’s maybe the best thing in the world.
“Hi,” Liam says because he’s polite and also never seen Aiden with hearts in his eyes before.
“Hey,” Matt says, “I’ve heard a lot about you guys.”
Niall and Liam share a look and Aiden hums and pushes them inside.
“Explanation?” Liam asks under his breath and Aiden shrugs apologetically.
“Later.”
Aiden and Matt are apparently joined at the hip and Liam loses them in the crowd almost instantly. Niall sticks around long enough to grab drinks and then there’s a cheer from somewhere and by the time Liam looks back Niall’s vanished.
“Are you going to drink that?”
Liam’s head turns so fast it hurts, and of course Louis’ there. Of course.
“I’m thinking about it,” Liam says even as he’s twisting off the cap.
“Any chance you’ll actually talk to me if you’re drunk?” Louis asks and Liam shrugs sheepishly.
“Maybe.”
Liam lets himself look at Louis as he drinks and something in his chest clenches as he sees how miserable he looks, mouth tilted downwards and eyes staring holes through his trainers.
“You can just tell me to get lost you know,” he says, and fuck, Liam never actually believed Aiden but now he’s starting to realise that he’s maybe been kind of a bastard.
“I don’t want you to get lost,” Liam says and Louis frowns.
“But you don’t want me to talk either?”
“No,” Liam says, “I-”
“You?”
Liam sighs. “I’m not drunk enough for this.”
Louis laughs, and there’s something bitter about it but at least it’s still Louis.
“Here,” he says, passing him a bottle of Jäger that’s still more than half full, “drink up.”
Liam thinks Louis’ probably not expecting him to actually tip his head back and take a sip. It’s horrible, tastes too sweet on his tongue, and it’s familiar in a way he wishes it weren’t and wouldn’t give up all at once.
He lowers the bottle, cringing, and then Louis’ pushing his hand away and kissing him, tongue swiping into his mouth and chasing the taste of the Jäger, and Liam’s not drunk this time, only just got here, and there’s only a hint of mint to Louis that suggests he’s not drunk anything yet. Liam thinks that maybe he should pull away only he’s pretty sure he’s been doing that too much lately.
His fingers curl around Louis’ cheek and down to the back of his neck pulling him closer, and Louis sighs against his lips.
“This isn’t talking,” Liam points out and Louis laughs.
“Yeah,” he says, “so, hi. I’m Louis and I kind of like you Liam Payne. Stupid English awards and Ancient History club be damned.”
“Oh,” Liam says. “Really?”
“Really,” Louis says softly, fondly, and Liam can feel it against his skin. “And you said you wanted to kiss me last time. You’re not innocent in this.”
“No,” Liam agrees. “That’s because I like you too. Even if you’re kind of an idiot.”
Louis throws his head back and laughs.
+
“What’s the plan tonight?” Niall asks, kicking his feet against the pavement, and Aiden grins as he looks up from his phone.
“Matt’s band are playing some bar in town,” he says, “he says he can get us in if we promise not to drink?”
“I don’t know,” Louis says from where he’s walking next to Liam, their fingers tangled together between them, “I’m kind of worried that if there’s no alcohol Liam won’t want anything to do with me.”
“Shut up,” Liam says, elbowing him in the ribs, and he blushes as the others laugh.
“I think Harry’s planning to tag along with Zayn and Geneva later so he’ll get bored after half an hour,” Louis says, grabbing his phone. “I’ll let him know what we’re up to.”
Liam notices the way Niall ducks his head to hide his smile but doesn’t say anything.
“You okay?” Louis asks quietly, and Liam squeezes his hand and grins.
“Yeah,” he says, “yeah, I’m great.”