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The Total Drama plane rattled and buzzed with heavy noises, flying to the next destination for the competition. The light sounds of breathing and deep snores were heard throughout the economy class as each contestant uncomfortably sat asleep on the metal benches. It was painful, but everyone was too exhausted after today’s challenge that sleeping, even while sitting up, was achievable.
Noah’s eyelids opened wide, waking up from a negative dream. He rested his palm on his chest and began to breath heavily.
It wasn’t unusual for Noah to get bad dreams, but he never told anyone, not even Owen. Whenever he woke up from a nightmare, everyone else was fast asleep and he didn’t want to disturb anyone with his problems. He didn’t feel the need to. He had always dealt with his own issues by himself, especially growing up with such a large family with many older siblings.
He scanned the room. It was completely dark but he could make out the rest of his team sitting on the bench and the remaining members of Team Victory across the other side. Their heads were propped up against the wall, some leaning on each other for comfort.
He slowly planted his feet down on the metal floor and began to stretch. After a bad dream, he knew he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep for a while.
He slowly walked across the room and down the hallway, ready to enter the confessional toilet.
‘I’ve got nothing better to do,’ Noah thought to himself, shrugging as he got closer to the door.
He was about to reach out and place his hand on the handle until he felt a presence around him. It was still relatively dark but he felt someone has entered the hallway he was in. Noah raised his eyebrows as he looked around, scanning to check if anyone has followed him out there.
Did someone notice he was missing and decided to check on him? Probably not, no one seemed to care too much when he was missing or had wandered off, especially at night with everyone sound asleep.
‘Hey,’
Noah heard a soft whisper and quickly whipped himself around as his heart began to steadily increase with pounding beats against his chest. The voice definitely startled him, but as soon as he turned around, he locked eyes with a familiar shorter, gap-toothed friend.
‘Oh, geez, Cody! You scared me,’ Noah hissed. ‘Did you need to use the confessional? You can go,’
Cody looked up at Noah and had a small grin on his face, but his eyes were sunken and red. His cheeks were puffy and the smile he gave Noah almost seemed fake. Noah took notice of his face as Cody became more clear in the dark hallway.
‘Heh, ah.. nah, it’s cool. I just-‘
‘Couldn’t sleep?’ Noah asked, raising an eyebrow. Cody nodded in response and took his attention to the ground, hiding his face behind his bangs, feeling a sense of awkwardness between the two. Noah knew something was up with Cody. He was a pretty cheerful and optimistic guy, but this time, behind his smile, Noah sensed a feeling of sadness and despair.
The two stood awkwardly in the hallway for a moment until Noah coughed.
‘Cody, what’s wrong?’ Noah asked. Cody looked back at Noah with surprise, his eyes beaming wide and darting back and forth away from him, trying to avoid Noah with great difficulty.
‘What? Oh, there’s nothing wrong! The Codemeister is feeling great!’ Cody responded, raising his hands and creating finger guns. Noah scoffed and crossed his arms, rolling his eyes.
‘Cody, it’s obvious you’re dealing with something right now, I can tell. I’m not an idiot,’ Noah directed at Cody. Cody’s smile faded away, dropping almost completely. His eyes sagged low and his body hunched over, almost as if his own self was begging to stop hiding how he was truly feeling. He pushed his hair out of his eyes, allowing Noah to take a closer view. He had definitely been crying.
A lot.
‘Heh.. alright, you got me. But, it’s fine, really. I’m ok,’ Cody spoke in a whisper, trailing off at the end of his sentence almost as if he knew he was lying. He really wasn’t ok, a lot had been on his mind and being alone on a team without any true friends but Gwen and constantly being smothered by super-fan Sierra made him feel truly lonely. Even with Sierra constantly holding him close and always keeping an eye on him, Cody didn’t have anyone to talk to. It was a miracle tonight that Cody was able to get out of Sierra’s tight grip and slink away to a private area of the plane to let out his emotions, something he never did often. But, he felt like crying over his feelings wasn’t enough, he secretly wished someone could listen to his thoughts that had plagued his mind for so long. He just never knew who to tell and assumed he’d be a bother, keeping up his ‘cool’ façade and hiding any sort of negative feelings from anyone.
‘Cody, look, I know we don’t talk much and I completely understand if you don’t want to or find it awkward,’ Noah said raising his hands. ‘But, I’m a good listener. I literally don’t care if you think the things on your mind are embarrassing or whatever. Talk to me,’
Cody looked hesitant, rubbing his arm and glancing away trying to avoid eye contact. He wasn’t sure what to do. The offer was there and he was finally relieved to know that someone was willing to listen to his quarrels but the constant reminder in his head telling him he’d end up annoying Noah bounced around his mind. Cody tried to shake away the those thoughts.
‘Ok. A-are you sure? Don’t wanna dump a lot of baggage on you or anything, heh,’ Cody replied with a small smile on his face.
‘It’s fine. I don’t have anything better to do right now. My eight siblings always came to me when they had problems. Now, let’s find somewhere to go in private,’ Noah said to the shorter teen, grabbing his hand and dragging him down the hallway.
The plane was dark as they continued darting through each space. They passed the eating area and the kitchen, slowly dragging their feet across the metal floor, hoping not to wake anyone up. Cody couldn’t stand having Sierra wake up and try to find him, taking him back and having Cody not able to have a moment to vent again; he couldn’t keep his emotions bottled up for too much longer. He really needed to talk.
Noah came across a door leading down to the cargo hold and attempted to lift it up, causing a strain on his little to no muscles. He struggled to push it open until he sprung up, leaving Noah to breath heavily and wipe his forehead.
‘Dude, you’re so weak!’ Cody laughed in a whisper. Noah glared at him at first, until he rolled his eyes and returned with a small smile upon his face.
‘Shut up,’ Noah responded, grabbing Cody and pulling him down into the cargo hold.
It was even darker down there, full of different pieces of furniture and useless junk that originally surprised the cast when looking for items for the advert they had to create in Japan. Noah scanned the area, trying to make out each different shape and shadow until he saw a small corner which had a couple of fluffy pillows, the only things making any sort of light in the room.
Noah held onto Cody’s hand again and pulled him towards the corner, sitting down on a bright pink cushion while Cody sat opposite him, closely, on a purple one.
‘So.. what’s on your mind?’ Noah asked, getting comfortable on the pillow. Cody bit his lip and awkwardly shrugged, letting out a loud sigh that echoed throughout the cargo hold.
‘I, uh.. haven’t really done this sort of thing before.. I dunno where to start,’ Cody said feeling embarrassed, looking away to the floor.
‘It’s fine. Take your time,’ Noah responded with a shrug. ‘Let me guess.. is this about stalkerlicious-Sierra bothering you as per usual?’
Cody looked up and stared at Noah weakly, almost as if he was pain just from hearing her name. He nodded slowly, which turned into shaking his head.
‘Yeah but, I dunno.. there’s a few things, really. Sierra and just.. Negative thoughts. And stuff about my parents-‘
‘Wow, the Codemeister has negative thoughts? I thought you were a confident Casanova,’ Noah smirked. Cody stared back at him with a puzzled and confused expression, which later turned into a frown.
Shit.
Noah didn’t mean to interrupt or make jokes, this was serious.
‘Oh, I sincerely apologise for that.. continue,’ Noah said, gesturing towards Cody to keep going with his conversation. Noah didn’t mean to make a joke. He was so used to seeing Cody so happy and the amount of jokes the shorter teen got, he assumed Cody would just wave them off like he usually did. Noah for once didn’t think that they were about to have a serious conversation and that Cody wasn’t up for any kind of teasing against him.
Cody tapped his shoe nervously with his fingers, a habit he had gotten over the years. He tried to stop, hoping not to annoy Noah, but he was just looking at Cody with concern and waiting for him to continue talking.
‘Ok.. so, this is probably gonna be silly..’
‘It won’t,’ Noah responded, trying to make Cody feel at ease. Cody looked at him with relief and decided to continue forward, without any pausing or hesitation. He could do this.
‘My birthday’s coming up in a few weeks.. and uh, well, whenever I think about my birthday, I get upset,’ Cody explained, twiddling his fingers together and looking down towards the floor, almost as if he was ashamed to admit it. ‘My parents forgot my birthday last year. They do it a lot..’
‘Geez..’ Noah whispered. ‘Cody, that’s a really shitty thing of them to do,’ Cody smiled back at Noah, feeling for once reassured in his life.
‘I guess so.. I don’t know.. when I told them they forgot and that I was upset, they didn’t think it was a big deal. They’re both pretty demanding. I used to cry a lot as a kid, but they forced me to stop and told me that boys don’t cry. That I needed to man up and stop being so sensitive,’ Cody explained, finally telling someone about his parents. Cody had never done this before. His parents forcing him as a child to stop crying and to get over things caused Cody to hide his emotions and never tell anyone anything. Push your emotions way down, it was a bad thing to express them and his parents only really tolerated Cody when he was confident and obedient.
Noah stared at him with a blank expression, still almost invisible in the dark room but Cody could easily make it out. He knew he shouldn’t of told anyone about his problems. He knew that if had told anyone, they probably wouldn’t care.
‘I’m sorry, I’m probably rambling on-‘
‘No, no. You’re not at all. I’m just.. disgusted. Your parents sound awful,’ Noah replied in disbelief, with a slight tone of anger in his voice. Cody felt relieved. The few people who had been over to Cody’s house when his parents were actually around always commented on how nice they were. Whenever they had guests though, it was a façade; a fake identity their parents had created to look as perfect as possible. Cody could never tell the guest the truth about his parents. They weren’t around often and when they were, they were hurtful and cruel.
‘You know, I was relieved to be back on Total Drama. I’m finally be away from my parents,’ Cody said with a small smile. ‘But.. when I return home, and.. and if I don’t win the money..’ Cody trailed off and rubbed his arm.
‘What do you mean?’ Noah asked, prompting Cody to continue, moving in closer.
‘I.. uh.. when I got eliminated from the first season, you know, after I had been attacked by a bear, heh,’ Cody responded awkwardly after the traumatic incident. ‘I went home and my parents were so mad that I didn’t win. I was a failure. They didn’t care I kinda got eliminated due to injury. They didn’t say anything about the bear attack.. they didn’t care how I was hurt and traumatised. They just wanted me to win the money and told me that I was weak and I just..’ Cody raised his fists in the air and banged them against the soft pillow he was sitting on with tears in his eyes, startling Noah.
‘It’s unfair! How could they treat me like this? I got mauled by a bear and-and all they want me to do is get over things that have hurt me!’ Cody yelled loudly, echoing throughout the cargo hold. He began to sob, tears springing from his eyes and running down his red-tinged cheeks. He placed his head in his hands and tried to wipe the tears away but they just wouldn’t stop, they kept going and Cody felt pathetic.
Embarrassed.
Imagine if his parents had saw him now. He wasn’t allowed to cry. Thank goodness there was no cameras around.
Noah quickly moved in closer to Cody, joining his pillow and sitting shoulder to shoulder. Cody continue to cry and Noah, not knowing entirely sure what to do, began to rub his back softly, placing his hand on Cody’s shirt moving it up and down.
Cody’s wails became softer as he felt the touch of Noah’s hand against his back, keeping him far calmer than he was before. Cody continued to cry while Noah placed his head on his shoulder. Cody didn’t move him off and Noah didn’t notice him being uncomfortable with being so close, so he stayed that way for a while, keeping the fellow contestant calm and creating a sense of safety for the shorter teen. They stayed that way for a while, with Cody letting all his tears out; something he hadn’t done for a long time until tonight.
It felt good.
It felt as if a massive weight had lifted from him, his emotions had finally come out after hiding for so long and even if he felt a bit embarrassed, he was ok with Noah seeing him this way. Cody was used to being so over confident and flirty with many people around him, trying so hard to be cool and while it definitely was apart of who he was, he still got emotional and upset. Shoving that part of him deep down, away from anyone to see, became just too much.
Cody sniffled, bringing up his arm to wipe his nose, not thinking too much of it. Noah, while aware that Cody was going through a lot, still liked to keep hygienic and couldn’t stand to see someone do that. He quickly reached into his pocket and pulled out a plethora of tissues, springing out and floating on Cody’s lap.
‘Take them,’
‘Oh.. t-thanks,’ Cody responded with a small smile. He grabbed many tissues and blew his nose loudly, using other tissues to wipe the tears from his eyes. He stuffed them in his large pants pockets and let out his last sniffles. Noah took his head off Cody’s shoulder.
‘Cody, I’m so sorry. Your parents sound like execrable people,’ Noah said sincerely. ‘I’m sorry you have to deal with them at home. Glad you’re here for the time being,’
‘Thanks,’ Cody responded with a small smile. ‘You know.. something else happened when I got home after the first season,’
‘What happened?’ Noah prompted with concern, raising his eyebrows.
Cody’s smile turned to a frown and he looked away for a moment, taking a moment to breath deeply. He rubbed his arm and looked back at Noah, awkwardly biting his lip.
‘When I returned, they were also mad about something else. I think it’s silly,’ Cody sighed. ‘So, you know the, uh, Awake-a-thon episode?’
Noah nodded in response, not thinking too much of it until it hit him.
The Awake-a-thon episode.. the episode where Noah accidentally cuddled up against Cody and kissed his ear, which was broadcasted internationally all around the word.
When Noah came home after the first season, he didn’t hear the end of it, constant teasing from his family but they were just joking around. It was an accident after all. Noah knew he did weird things when he slept, sometimes clinging onto people close around him.
‘So, uh.. they were pretty upset. They’re kinda old fashioned and kept asking me questions like “do you like boys?” and it got so tiring. They kept saying rude things like “If you are gay, we’d be very disappointed, blah blah blah”,’Cody muttered, looking away from Noah. ‘A-and even if I did like boys, it’s not a problem!! I don’t understand how my parents could even think so horribly of any guy being interested in dudes,’
Noah never actually thought too much about the incident from the Awake-a-thon episode. He was openly gay and his parents knew that, so coming home and hearing little jokes was expected. But, Noah didn’t even think about how Cody’s family and friends would’ve reacted. While there was no problem with it and he knew it was an accident, he didn’t take into consideration how everyone who knew Cody would take it. It was all Noah’s fault, too. Cody had nothing to do with it. He was lying there near Noah, who was the one who decided to get close and kiss his ear.
‘Oh, Cody, I’m so sorry,’ Noah responded, slapping his forehead. ‘It was my fault.. I mean, it was an accident but that’s so shit they kept asking you invasive questions like that when it was my doing,’
‘Oh, hey, it’s ok, I know it was an accident,’ Cody lightly chuckled. ‘But.. I’m gonna have to come out to them as bisexual sometime. At least I know their views now,’
Noah had absolutely no clue Cody was bi. While they talked every so often, especially during Total Drama Action, Cody was so busy fawning over Gwen that Noah didn’t even think of a second that Cody had any interest in guys as well.
‘Welcome to the club, Cody,’ Noah replied. ‘It’s unfortunate about how your parents see people like us though. Take your time to come out to them, don’t force yourself and don’t let anyone force you either,’
Cody grinned at Noah, his smile beaming.
He felt happy that Noah was relaxed about his bisexuality. He knew Noah would, considering he was gay but it felt nice, like a reassurance. Cody hadn’t told anyone and only realised his sexuality around Total Drama Action, but he was just too scared and worried to tell people. Especially with camera’s around and he did not want any personal information ending up on the Total Drama fanblogs; the people who ran those were ruthless and very stalkerish. Too bad Sierra had already told the whole world much of his private information; Cody had to keep his sexuality secret for now.
‘Now the Codmeister can flirt with anyone,’ Noah smirked.
Cody laughed in response, letting out a fit of giggles, something he hadn’t done in a while.
‘You gotta watch out, I’ll be going after you next,’ Cody joked, bringing up his hands and pointing at Noah with finger guns. The two continued to laugh, echoing throughout the cargo hold. Cody felt warm inside and comfortable hanging around with Noah, he had no idea how long it has been since he laughed like that. After the two’s giggles began to die down, Cody leaned in close and placed his head on Noah’s shoulder.
‘Hey, uh.. thanks, Noah,’ Cody said, looking up slightly. ‘I really, really needed to talk about these things. And have a cry, too.. I don’t really talk about these things a lot. Trying to be cool around others is my thing, you know? But, I still get sad,’
‘I get it,’ Noah replied, turning his head to look down at Cody. ‘I’m not always the lazy and sarcastic person everyone seems to know me as. I mean, it’s kind of who I am, but I’m always constantly perceived as just that,’
‘True,’ Cody replied. ‘You haven’t been sarcastic much at all throughout this entire conversation. You really care about me, you know?’
Noah knew a lot of people perceived him as a standoff-ish, even rude and disrespectful sometimes as his words constantly dripped with sarcasm. He sometimes didn’t know what to say when people would get emotional around him, but he was a good listener and really cared a lot about people and their problems. Noah wasn’t exactly treated too well at times either, he had his own issues, including his unusual reoccurring nightmares and would hope people would help him the same way if he was to reach out.
‘Sorry if I haven’t said much tonight.. sometimes I don’t know what to say,’ Noah sighed. ‘Unbelievable; I know. A master of literature vocabulary and I can’t even talk sometimes,’
‘It’s cool,’ Cody said, shrugging his shoulders. ‘I just really appreciate you being here for me. I’m gonna be here for you too, ok?’
Noah’s blank expression changed. A small smile appeared and he felt warm inside, a rare feeling but a nice one at that, something he truly appreciated.
‘Hey, thanks,’
The two sat in silence for a while. The plane continued to loudly rustle and vibrate below them as the two continued to relax. Cody kept his head on Noah’s shoulder and had eventually held onto Noah’s arm, closing his eyes and using him as support as he leaned in close. Noah closed his eyes, feeling his eyelids droop slowly, finally beginning to rest in comfortably for the first time being on the plane.
A jolt of the noisy plane created a loud racket, causing the two to jump. Cody yelped loudly and Noah’s eyelids flung wide open, feeling Cody’s fingers wrap tightly around his arm.
‘This plane is going to kill us all, I swear,’ Noah joked. ‘But, seriously, how are you doing?’
‘Better,’ Cody replied, letting go of Noah as his heart stopped beating so fast. ‘I might have to head back though. Who knows what would happen if Sierra woke up and couldn’t find me.. she’d wake up everyone,’
Noah nodded, giving Cody a weak but sympathetic small smile. They both stood up, Noah giving Cody a hand to help him from the ground. The two stood in the darkness for a moment until Noah felt Cody’s arms wrap tightly around his own torso, squeezing him tight, something Noah was surprisingly used to thanks to Owen’s constant hugs. Cody quickly broke away from the hug.
‘Again.. thanks,’ Cody spoke in a whisper.
‘No problem, Codemeister,’ Noah replied dryly. Noah guided the way through the cargo hold, remembering exactly where they had stepped before and dragging Cody past each obstacle, eventually making their way to the stairs. As the two climbed out of the cargo hold, Noah yawned and felt himself becoming more tired again; it was definitely the right time to go back to bed. He hoped no nightmares would occur when he was sleeping though.
The two exited and closed the hatch for the cargo hold.
‘See you later, Noah,’ Cody waved goodbye, slowly heading towards the first class room.
‘No prob,’ Noah smiled, lifting up his hand and giving a wave to the shorter heel back. Cody disappeared from sight, going down one of the many hallways that led to first class, while Noah travelled all the way back to the economy class. He slowly peaked his head around the doorway, taking notice of the dark room, immediately hearing loud snores and sniffles coming from each bench. It looked as if no one had moved from their spot ever since Noah had left. He slowly walked across the metal floors, going back to his corner on the bench and sitting up, resting his head against the wall. He kind of wished it was Cody next to him instead; he was definitely a lot more comfier.
Noah remembered what Cody had said.
‘I’m gonna be here for you too, ok?’
It was a nice gesture. Noah felt grateful knowing Cody could possibly help him out if he needed to talk or anything, if only Sierra wasn’t constantly hanging around him. He appreciated it a lot though, it made Noah feel pretty good inside.
Noah yawned once more, resting his head against the metal wall. The slow vibrations that ran through the metal slowly rocked him to sleep, with Cody being his last thoughts.