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Even without a chatty spirit on his floor, Yadriel had a tenuous relationship with sleep. On nights when it evaded him and he laid there, drifting in and out of consciousness, he missed having Julian there to fill the silence. If he were being really honest, Yadriel missed Jules most of the time. Maritza said that was stupid. Months after the fateful events of Día de Muertos, Yadriel and Julian were never apart for very long. Yadriel didn’t think that was too unreasonable when they had both almost watched the other die after being separated.
As if summoning him with his thoughts, Yadriel’s phone buzzed with a text from Julian. He pulled his phone off of his bedside table and squinted at it groggily.
are u awake
That text was quickly followed by another.
dumb question cuz i bet the answer is yes
Yadriel snorted and sent a reply.
i could have been asleep
Julian wasn’t having it.
but ur not
can i come over
Yadriel frowned.
Though Julian had certainly grown on Yadriel’s family, there was still a level of parental obligation from his father to discourage having his boyfriend over at night. (When Yadriel first expressed a desire to, he and his dad had the most awkward safe sex talk known to man. Yadriel was ready to bury himself alive to avoid the embarrassment and he could tell his dad had similar feelings trying to navigate discussing the risks of pregnancy with his son . When Yadriel couldn’t take it anymore, he cut his dad off and promised that nothing like that was even happening with Julian. His dad just said a final, desperate “use protection” before they went their separate, incredibly flustered ways.) Most nights, they slept in their respective homes. Yadriel knew that if Julian was asking to come over, it nine-times-out-of-ten meant he got into a spat with Rio and left the apartment to cool off. Yadriel saw how much harder they were trying after Julian’s almost death, but they still managed to work each other up sometimes.
Some things never changed.
Yadriel was already getting out of bed when he replied to Julian.
does this mean you’re already parked outside of the cemetery?
Julian’s response was instantaneous.
:)
Yadriel leaned over to look out his window. Sure enough, the Corvette was sitting there, moonlight reflecting off of it. Yadriel bit back a laugh. He pulled on a binder and hurried downstairs as quietly as he could.
Julian was waiting impatiently at the front door, rocking on his heels. He beamed when he saw Yadriel, the sight of his dimples filling Yadriel with familiar warmth. “Took you long enough,” he teased as he stepped inside.
Yadriel made a face at him. He began to retort but was interrupted by Julian taking him by the back of the neck and kissing him.
Julian didn’t do quick, easy kisses. Every kiss he gave Yadriel was a commitment. They were fierce, all-consuming, and knee-weakening. They were a bit like Julian himself.
Yadriel could have stayed there kissing Julian in the doorway forever. But he didn’t know how many times he could get away with smuggling Julian in his bedroom, so they didn’t need to get caught. He forced himself to pull away from Julian, putting a hand on Julian’s chest. “Get upstairs before someone sees you.”
“That sounds familiar,” Julian said with a grin.
Yadriel rolled his eyes and, with one more kiss for good measure, shoved Julian up the stairs.
Julian strode into Yadriel’s bedroom and collapsed onto the bed like he owned it. Purrcaso, who was sleeping curled up beneath the covers, emerged with a displeased sound at the disruption. However, when she saw Julian, she rubbed against his side until he scratched behind her ears. Yadriel thought it was cute that Purrcaso still liked Julian so much even when he was alive.
Yadriel joined Julian on the bed. Right away, Jules pressed against Yadriel’s side, resting his head on Yadriel’s chest. Though Julian was lively when he got to Yadriel’s house, Yadriel remembered why Julian had come as he traced idle shapes on Yadriel’s stomach with a contemplative expression.
“Are you okay?” Yadriel asked quietly, sliding an arm around Julian’s waist.
Julian made a non-committal sound in the back of his throat. “Fine,” he murmured.
“Did you and Rio…?”
Julian gave a small shrug. “The usual.”
Yadriel took the hint. Julian didn’t want to get into it. Those fights usually weren’t that serious anyway. It was probably about something trivial. Julian would be back with Rio by the next night. By this point, Yadriel knew the routine. He knew it wasn’t a big deal, but if Julian was upset enough by it to need him, he certainly wasn’t going to turn him away. He didn’t press any further and kissed the crown of Julian’s head.
Jules gave him a lazy smile and leaned up to kiss him properly. When Julian pulled back, he stopped, looking down at Yadriel’s chest.
Yadriel paused, uncomfortable heat climbing up his neck. “What?”
“Is that my shirt?” Julian asked.
Yadriel blushed for an entirely different reason. It was Julian’s shirt which, in any other circumstance, wouldn’t be noteworthy. Yadriel had stolen a dozen of Julian’s shirts at this point. But this was the only shirt Julian didn’t know about. Until now.
It was the black-and-gray flannel that they used to try and hunt down Julian’s body. After the whole Día de Muertos fiasco, it probably never occurred to Julian that Yadriel still had it. Julian never asked for it back so he held onto it. On many nights like this, he slept with it on over a ratty oversized tee shirt. It didn’t smell like Julian anymore after months of wash-and-wear. If Yadriel wanted a shirt that did, he could always take another one from Jules. He kept this one because it had a strange sentimental value to him.
“Maybe,” Yadriel managed, feeling heat spread all the way to the tips of his ears.
“It is! That’s the shirt we took when you met Rio!”
“Shut up,” Yadriel groaned, hiding his face in his pillow.
Julian laughed. “Aw, Yads,” he teased. “Were you already so far gone for me that you kept it?”
Yadriel glared up at him. “You are the worst. Terrible. A menace. I should have exorcised you when I had the chance,” he said flatly.
Julian smiled, leaning in until their noses touched. Yadriel felt the cold metal of Julian’s dangling tether against his collarbone. Julian’s fingers came to rest on Yadriel’s cheek, warm and grounding.
Whenever Julian touched him, Yadriel was grateful that he could. He thought about when Julian was a spirit and his touch was like ice, cold and devoid. He preferred Julian like this: running hot, fire in his veins, the sun in his eyes. Yadriel preferred Julian warming him from the inside out.
“You love it,” Jules said.
I love you , Yadriel thought. He didn’t say it though. It wasn’t something he had put into words yet. He wasn’t afraid to exactly. Julian surely knew how deep Yadriel’s feelings for him went. Yadriel wouldn’t commit grand theft auto for a guy he only sort of liked. But Julian, who rarely kept his thoughts to himself for more than thirty seconds, hadn’t said it yet. So Yadriel waited.
Julian kissed him again before laying his head back on Yadriel’s chest. “Do you sleep in my shirts a lot?” he asked.
Yadriel tried not to be embarrassed as he answered, “Most nights.”
Julian looked up at him with a smile. “Maybe I should just start spending the night more.”
“ Jules ,” Yadriel scolded halfheartedly. “You know how my dad is.”
“We’ve had sleepovers before!”
“Yeah, when you were dead .”
“How is that any different?”
“Well, for one, you’re corporeal now.”
Yadriel watched Julian connect the dots in his head, then blush a little. Yadriel laughed, probably louder than he should have. Purrcaso got up from the bed and escaped to the other side of the room. Julian shushed him and sat up to put a hand over his mouth. “ You’re going to wake Lita,” he said. It was clearly a cover to get Yadriel to stop laughing at him, but it worked.
He pulled Julian’s hand away from his mouth. “ Secondly, they didn’t know about you the first time.”
Julian couldn’t argue with that one. He pouted, fidgeting with his St. Jude medal.
Yadriel took Julian’s hand from his fidgeting and laced their fingers. “It’s fine. I’ll just take more of your shirts.”
“I’m going to run out if you keep this up.”
Yadriel gave Julian a pointed look up and down. “Sounds like the opposite of a problem to me.”
Julian grinned, rolling his eyes fondly. “I should have known you had ulterior motives. My clothes don’t really fit your whole transmasc Wednesday Addams vibe.”
Yadriel stared at him. “I don’t know if I love or hate that description.”
“Doesn’t matter. It fits.”
“Menace,” Yadriel said again. He reached up with his free hand, threaded his fingers through Julian’s hair, and pulled him into a kiss. Alright, multiple kisses. That was the thing about kissing Julian. Yadriel could never stay away for very long.
They stayed that way for a while, trading sweet kisses, entirely wrapped up in each other. Eventually, Julian dug out Yadriel’s old shitty phone and scrolled through it for far longer than necessary before picking a Lord Huron album to play. He complained about how sad it sounded but set the phone back on Yadriel’s bedside table before cuddling up to him.
Yadriel began to dirft off. Julian, when he was alive and quiet, often helped Yadriel sleep easier just by being there. His warm, solid presence against Yadriel’s side and the idle shapes he traced on Yadriel’s hip were enough to soothe Yadriel to sleep.
But just before Yadriel completely fell asleep, there was a sharp jab to his side. “Yads!”
Yadriel flailed, then turned to Julian with a glare. “What was that for?”
Julian raised an eyebrow. “You’re still wearing your binder.”
Yadriel groaned in protest. “Julian!”
Julian nudged Yadriel until he was all but rolling off of the bed. “Go take it off! You shouldn’t even be wearing it now because you were wearing it all day .”
Yadriel grumbled some more but he knew Julian was right. He was never the best at practicing safe binding. Ever since Julian realized that, he got onto Yadriel about it incessantly. Yadriel knew that Julian was just watching out for him but he was still going to complain. Dysphoria was a bitch.
Julian faced the wall as Yadriel wriggled out of his binder, quickly pulling his oversized shirt and Julian’s flannel back on over it. Julian pulled Yadriel into his arms when Yadriel climbed back into bed, setting his chin on top of Yadriel’s head. “There,” he said. “Now you can sleep, mi querido.”
Mi querido. It wasn’t an endearment Julian used for Yadriel often; only during especially soft moments or when Julian was feeling particularly vulnerable. Every time he did, Yadriel fell a little more in love with him. With his brilliant, blazing, cemetery boy who loved people even louder than he sang.
Yadriel’s love for Julian burned through his heart, warming him from the inside out.