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Different day, same night, I see neon more than sunlight
Socialize with social lies, get used to sleepless nights
What's your name, love your hair, no ones listening, no one cares
Clouded judgement fills the air, beautiful faces,
Blank stares
Reggie prowls around the club. He sees sweaty bodies dancing on other sweaty bodies. It's late, his friends have left to go home. Reggie stayed. He doesn't have anyone to go home to. Well, he guesses with since his friend brought their own partners. Reggie saw a girl drinking at the bar. She seemed to be by herself and sipping on a drink. She was attractive. She has long red hair that seems so soft. Reggie walks over, slipping in the seat by her.
"So, whatcha doing by yourself, pretty?" he asks.
"Waiting for a guy to walk up to me," she says. "Seemed like it worked."
"Oh, really now?" Reggie says, cocking an eyebrow.
"Wanna dance?" she asks.
"Yeah," he says, pulling her up. They end up on the dance floor. "So what's your name?"
"Can we just dance?" she says, pulling his hips close to hers. Reggie just nods. He dances close, it's the typical dance that happens at these kinds of places. Slow and sensual. Reggie can smell her shampoo. She does smell pretty good. Her lips are close to his and he decides to close the distance. Their lips move against each other. Reggie knows in the back of his head, it doesn't mean anything. It never means anything. He wishes it did.
I feel so alone
But I'm never alone
I just wanna go home
I just wanna go
Reggie groans, stretching as he ways up. He's sees that the girl is gone. Her clothes and purse are nowhere to be seen. Reggie sighs, getting up. He puts on a pair of boxers before making his way out of his room. He sees Alex sitting on the couch with Willie snuggled up to each other. Reggie wishes he had what they have. They are looking at each other with the at most love. Reggie goes to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, finding Luke.
"Fun night?" Luke asks.
"How bad do I look?" he asks, sitting on one of the barstools at the counter.
"Did you hook up with a vampire?"
"Sure," Reggie says. Luke rolls his eyes. He puts a cup of coffee in front of Reggie. He sips at it. Reggie can't help but feel so lonely. He wishes that the night would just be a night and that it would be more. He wants something more. Yet, he feels like he can't. He just wants someone to love and someone to love him.
Had the lows, had the highs, tried the things they say satisfy
Hard truths, easy lies,
Keep smiling to get by
Real love, who can find
When the blind, lead the blind
Done with wrong, need the right
Dark tunnels, end with light
"Thanks," the girl says, laying down besides Reggie. She's new, short pink hair and green eyes.
"Yeah," Reggie says. He feels all sweaty and gross. It felt great in the moment, but now, he's just sad. He watches her get dressed, hoping that maybe they could of at least cuddled. But he doesn't know her name at all. She turns around and he awkwardly looks away. She puts her hands on her hips.
"You know, do you normally do hook ups?" she asks.
"Uh, yeah," he says, giving her a confused look.
"It just-" she looks at him, crossing her arms. "You seem kind of sad."
"I guess I just want more one day," Reggie shrugs.
"Maybe you shouldn't look for someone at a club," she shrugs. He gives her a confused look. "Everybody there is just looking for meaningless sex. You should probably start someone else."
"Already have," Reggie sighs.
"Good luck," she says.
So many loves went wrong
I know I need to move on
Time to put the past
Where the past belongs
Reggie couldn't stop thinking about what pink haired girl said. But he tried to look other places for love. He tried in high school. Girls didn't like of dorky he was. They thought he was too nice. At first no girl would even acknowledge him. Then he joined the band, changed his style and got rid of the braces. His looks dragged in the girls, but his personality drove them away. He didn't know what was wrong with him.
There was a couple girls who he did date. The first broke up with him after she found out he had baggage. The second one broke up with him when she found out how much time he spent with the band. The last one. Well, she broke up with him because he wouldn't put out. She said that no girl wanted a guy that would be able to satisfy her needs. So, Reggie had a one night stand. That's when he got stuck in hook up culture.
He knows he should get out. But he's stuck. He's in too deep.
My hearts longing for something more than I've had, more then I've had
(Good woman)
My hearts longing for something more than I am, more then I've had
(Good man)
Reggie sips at his water as he sits at the counter. He needs to figure out how to stop going to different clubs. It feels like an addiction. He feels like he's stuck in some sort of loop that he can't get out of. He goes to the club when his friends ask him to go. They dance and drink and have fun. Then, each couple leaves one at a time. Whoever leaves last stays with Reggie. Reggie convinces them to leave, feeling like a third wheel.
Then he does his run. He walks around, looking for some single girl. He goes to flirt. He normally doesn't have to do much. They go and dance, which normally goes to making out. After making out and grinding, Reggie asks if she wants to go somewhere more private. Maybe that's his problem. He has sex right away. Maybe he needs to stop. Maybe that's his problem.
He wants so much more than just sex. His heart wants, no needs more. But he doesn't know how to get there.
I don't wanna be
Dancing with strangers at 3am
I don't wanna be
Wasting my love on somebody who doesn't know who I am
My mother told me, if you wanna find a good woman, good good woman
Then son, you gotta be a good man
You gotta be a good
I might have lost my way along the road, along the road
But I swear I'm gonna be a good man
I'm gonna be a good man
"We're heading out, Reg," Luke says, Julie pulling on his arm giggling. "See ya tomorrow."
That's been happening more lately. Luke and Julie have been the last to leave. Luke hasn't asked if Reggie wants to go too. Reggie can't blame him. He's said no so many times. As Reggie watches Luke and Julie leave, he sees Julie grab his hand. He wants to smile at someone the way that Luke is smiling at Julie. He wants what they have.
As Reggie tries to find a girl, he realizes Pink Hair was right. He's not going to find that here. Dancing with strangers at 3am isn't going to help him find love. He's wasting all of his love on somewhere who could care less.
Reggie finds himself walking out of the club and down the street. He takes in the cool autumn air. He sees a 24 hour café ahead of him. He decides he should stop and get a coffee while thinking about what he's going to do tonight. As he opens the door to walk in, he runs into someone. He hears a gasp and cringes.
"Oh sh-" Reggie gets distracted. She has long brown hair and blue eyes. She has freckles covering her face. She's pretty and dressed in a now stained sweater.
"Oh that's hot," she says, trying to hold the sweater away from her chest.
"I'm so sorry," Reggie says. He looks down at his clothes. He's wearing a Hawaiian shirt and t-shirt under it. (It was Hawaiian night and Julie made him dress up). Moves them inside and to the side so people can walk through the door. He gets his Hawaiian shirt off. "Take my shirt."
"You don't have to-"
"I ruined your pretty sweater," he says.
"I can get the stains out," she says, waving it off. She's still trying to hold the sweater off of her skin.
"Yeah, but the coffee is hot," he says, pushing it towards her.
"Okay," she says, taking it.
"What were you drinking?" he asks. She tells him with a quizzical look. While she goes to the bathroom, Reggie goes and order his coffee and hers. He might as well pay her back since he ruined her coffee. He sits at a table, waiting for her to come out. When she does, Reggie smiles at how she looks. She moves her hair off her shoulder so it was laying down her back. She walks over to him. "I got you a new coffee."
"Thank you," she says, with a smile. "I'm Bailey."
"Reggie," he says, taking her hand in his. Her hand is small and fits well in his.
"Oh," she says, pulling something out of her purse. She hands it to him. "My card. Uh, if you can just text me so I can give you your shirt back."
"You look better in the shirt than me," he says. "Keep it."
"Okay," she smiles.
"But maybe I can still text you?" he asks. She looks at him. Like really looks at him. He doesn't think he's ever had a girl look at him like that before.
"Yeah," she says. "I hope you do."
Reggie sits down, watching her leave. He really is happy he decided he's done with dancing with strangers.