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Not many things were going to get Devi up before noon on a Saturday. Nick Jonas? For sure. The SATs? Duh. Ben freakin’ Gross stoned out of his mind on painkiller after getting his wisdom teeth removed? Oh, hell yes.
“My wi’dom I’ go-one,” Ben cried, muffled by the gauze in his mouth.
“Why is your wisdom gone?” Devi replied with a grin as she put the car in park in his driveway.
“Because they took my teeth away,” Ben responded. “Now you gonna be the smart one.”
“Ben, I’ve always been the smart one,” she replied.
“Why does my tongue feel so big?” Ben replied, sticking his tongue out as far as possible, then making it curl in on itself. Devi felt a little buzz in her chest at his tongue movements – wow, quite talented – but then realized who she was looking at. Ben Gross. Gross. She shook her head as she unbuckled and made her way around to the passenger side, Ben still babbling. This was going to be a fun day. She might even get some good blackmail material out of it if he was this chatty the whole time.
--
“What’s in there?” Ben slurred, trying to dodge the very melted milkshake on Devi’s spoon.
“It’s chocolate milkshake,” she reassured him, dipping the spoon back into the cup so it wouldn’t drip. Only Ben Gross would wear pressed khakis and a white Polo to get his damn wisdom teeth out. And the entire first floor of the house was all white furniture, and Devi wasn’t interested in trying to get chocolate out of the couch.
“No,” He sighed, trying to maneuver further away from her. Devi tried to hold back her laughter at the giant diaper-looking ice pack on his head. “I don’t believe you now.”
“Ben, I swear, it’s just a fucking milkshake,” she explained. “You gotta eat something or you can’t have more pain pills, dude.”
“No!” Ben said, suddenly angry. “You’re trying to poison me.”
“Really, Ben? I woke up on a Saturday at 7am to drive you to your dentist appointment, sat through multiple reruns of Property Brothers, and drank stale coffee just to poison you now?” Devi asked, moving to sit by him to get more milkshake down his throat. “I feel like I could’ve done that with a lot less effort. Eat the ice cream!”
Devi put the spoon in front of Ben, who seem placated enough, so she tipped the spoon back. He lapped as it like a kitten.
“No pill in that one,” he declared.
“What?” Devi asked. “That’s not—” She started, but Ben interrupted.
“No pill in that one!” He said excitedly. “Save yourself, Devi, otherwise you’re donezo. I’ll go kamikaze on your ass.”
Devi couldn’t help herself this time – his slurred threats were too freaking hilarious, so she started to record.
“Ben.” Devi called his name, trying to get his attention back from whatever was going on in his brain. I’m for sure getting what he had if I ever get my wisdom teeth out. “How is a skinny dude like you going to go kamikaze, exactly?
“Huh?” He asked, turning back to look at Devi. “Devi? What—no, no kamikaze for Devi.”
“Really?” She asked, zooming in on his puffy face. “Why not? Didn’t you just tell me I’d be donezo?”
“You’re too—” Ben struggled to swallow. “-- pretty to kamikaze.”
“Oh,” Devi said, dropping her phone to her lap. “Uh-“
“Hey!” Ben yelled.
“What?”
“Where’s the—did you eat my milkshake?” Ben asked, his eyes going glassy. “That was MINE.”
“No, dork, it’s right here,” She said, moving closer to him and tipping more milkshake into his mouth.
“Mh,” he said, smiling wider than she’d ever seen. “You’re da bes’”
--
“Mom?” Ben’s hoarse voice called out from down the hall. “Mo-om!” Devi sighed and paused Riverdale, then made her way to Ben’s room.
“Just me, Ben,” she said, leaning against his doorframe. “Your parents are out of town.”
“Oh, yea’” He said quietly, burrowing back under his comforter a little.
“You okay?” Devi asked, stepping into his room. “Do you need anything?”
Ben didn’t respond, but made a sad sounding whine, sliding deeper into his bed.
“What’s up, dude?” Devi asked, moving beside him and peeling back the covers. “You can’t have more pills for another hour, even if you fake cry.”
“Nooo-“ He said, eyes glassy again. “I just…do I look funny?”
“Duh, of course,” Devi said. “Your face is, like, double it’s normal size.”
“So I’m not a handsome boy anymore?” He asked, lip quivering.
“What?” Devi asked, confused but also a little worried for him. If he started to really cry, she might have to, like, help him blow his nose or something. Would that create a dry socket? “No, you’re handsome, okay.”
“Nooo,” Ben responded with actual tears in his eyes, making Devi feel a lot of different ways. “I look gross. Ben Gross looks gross.”
“Yes, you’re so handsome,” Devi sighed, trying not to gag on her words. This is not how she saw this day going. Good snacks, a dip in Ben’s pool, and using his HBO Max subscription, yes. Him crying? No.
“Really?” Ben asked, tears drying almost immediately. “Even right now?” He asked hopefully.
“Yeah, you’re not gross, Gross,” Devi said, patting his shoulder. He leaned his head onto her hand and nuzzled it.
“Mh, thanks,” He replied. “You’re not gross, either.”
“So, you’re good?” Devi asked, attempting to move her hand. Again, not what she had signed up for. Feelings? No. Not his, certainly not hers, weirdly interrupting her study sessions with memes she had to send him or songs that made her think of him and definitely not a dream or two where Ben climbed in her window…
Devi knew that Ben had this surgery planned for a good few months – he had timed it around PSATs, AP exams, and a Model UN conference. She didn’t ask why his parents were out of town. She didn’t need to know. There was no real reason, when they’ve known about this for so long, aside from the fact that they’re dicks.
So when Ben sadly asked her to stay with him? Duh. And when he asked her to read from his well-worn copy of Harry Potter? Yeah, of course. And when Fabiola asked if she was ready to trade baby-sitting duties for the evening…No, No, I’ve got it under control. Thanks.
But nothing about this was under control.