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“My family has left.”
There was an unspoken invitation hiding in that text, and just like that, TKs day had gotten ten times better. He’d shot back a simple “On my way!” as he nearly crashed into his dad in his haste to get out the door.
‘Woah, TK! Being in such a rush is not good for you. I’m about to start my new Taiwanese flower petal yoga, it’s supposed to be truly calming for the mind and body. Why don’t you join me?’
TK just gave his father a stupid grin, and the older man sighed. ‘Oh, to be young and in love. I remember it like it was yesterday, because I am in fact still young. Go.’ Making a shooing gesture, his dad waved TK out of the house.
‘Love you dad!’ TK yelled as he pulled the front door shut, not bothering to wait for a response. TK hadn’t seen Carlos in a couple of days, and he was anxious to have some quality time with him. As he pulled onto the main road, TK thanked whoever was listening up above for how little traffic Austin had compared to New York. He tapped along with the song on the radio, and smiled when the familiar house came into view.
It had been a particularly gruelling couple of days, with jampacked shifts for TK and a lot of overtime for Carlos, so TK expected some pent up stress that needed a release on the other side of the door. What he hadn’t expected was to be roughly pulled inside the moment the door opened, lips slamming onto his.
TK enthusiastically responded, raising his hands to Carlos’ hair, all thoughts of a formal greeting forgotten. He could barely hear the door close behind him through the rush of his heart beating. TK leaned against Carlos, whose hands in turn were all over him. They were firm and strong, grabbing TK wherever they could. But there was also an edge to it, something TK couldn’t quite place. He frowned.
Carlos lowered his mouth to TKs neck, and TKs mind went blank. He was pressed up against the door now, and he felt the doorknob poking his side. He moved slightly, trying to get more comfortable, and Carlos took this as a chance to help TK out of his shirt. His hands had barely left TKs body or they were back with a vengeance, and TK sighed. Carlos’ hard body pressed into his, and he nudged Carlos’ face back up to lock lips.
Only this time, it wasn’t just his hands that felt off. Carlos was kissing him hungrily, almost desperately, and not in the hot way. TK didn’t know what to make of it.
‘Carlos,’ he muttered, trying to move his head away from the other man a bit. He in turn lowered his hands to TKs beltloops, pulling him closer and fidgeting with the buckle. TK took this moment to take in his boyfriend’s appearance for the first time since coming in, and he didn’t like what he saw. There was a frantic look on Carlos’ face, and what had felt like steady hands before sure seemed to be shaking. TK covered his partner’s hands with his own.
‘Carlos. Stop.’
Just like TK knew they would, Carlos’ hands stilled immediately. He looked up at TK, who did all that he could not to flinch. Those brown eyes that were usually so full of everything good looked pained. They stared at each other, the silence between them like a third person in the room. It was only because he was focussing so intently that TK could see the changes in Carlos as they happened. Walls were erected before his very eyes, and by the time Carlos dropped his hands to his side and took a step back there was nothing left of the vulnerability of before.
‘I haven’t even asked you if you wanted anything to drink. Where are my manners?’
TKs mouth hung open slightly, trying to figure out the sudden shift in tone between them. ‘Babe,’ he tried, his voice laced with concern.
If Carlos even noticed at all, he decided to ignore it. ‘Do you want coffee? I still have some left from earlier. The good beans, the ones you like.’
TK just stood there, his back still against the door, unsure of what to do. Things had gone from zero to a hundred in the blink of an eye, and had come crashing right back down just as fast. ‘Carlos, what’s going on?’
Carlos liked to think he was a close book from his time spent on the force, but this had never been the case for TK. He could see the tension radiating off the other man from the stiff set of his shoulders and the little tap his foot did occasionally. As he rummaged through the cabinets to find some mugs, TK could see Carlos’ hands were still shaking.
‘Babe, you’re freaking me out.’
In that moment, several things happened. A thump on the porch signalled the arrival of a package, TKs breath got stuck in his throat, and Carlos dropped one of the coffee mugs. He cursed louder than TK had ever heard him curse, and leaned on the kitchen counter, head down, back arched. TK could practically see the knots in his muscles forming, and for a split second all he could hear was his father talk about the importance of proper stance. He shook is head to clear his mind.
Not wanting to spook the other man, but absolutely needing to get closer, TK shuffled forward with small, conscious steps. Once he reached the island, he didn’t dare come closer. So he just stood, offering silent support, waiting until Carlos was ready.
It took a while for the other man to collect himself. TK wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around his boyfriend and tell him that, no matter what it was, everything was going to be okay. But he also knew when not to push, and it was clear Carlos was dealing with some very raw nerve endings.
‘My cousin is getting married.’
Carlos’ voice sounded so normal, so matter-of-factly, that it threw TK for a loop. He took a moment to try and figure out why that was a bad thing, and came up empty. Carlos was no longer facing the wall, instead looking in TKs direction and leaning his hips against the cabinet. He smirked, but it was devoid of any humour.
‘He’s getting married, and we’re not invited.’
The meaning of those words hung between them, thick and heavy. They looked at each other, eyes unreadable, taking it in.
‘Shit.’
‘Yeah,’ Carlos sighed. His foot had stopped the tapping, but there was still an incredible amount of tension in his neck and shoulders, and TK had to supress a wince at how the other man would be feeling in the morning. He made a mental note to try and help out with that.
‘They knew I was gay. I never told them, and we never talked about it, but they knew.’ TK wanted to ask who exactly they were, but he bit his tongue. ‘They’ve made homophobic comments in the past, but I thought things would be different with me. That when I showed up with a boyfriend someday, everything would magically be alright. How stupid is that?’
‘That’s not stupid,’ TK whispered. Carlos didn’t look like he’d heard him. TK inched ever closer, wanting to be near his boyfriend and make everything better.
‘Dad was absolutely furious when my cousin told me we couldn’t come. He was just about ready to kick him out, but I told him that it wasn’t a big deal. That it was just a wedding, that I understood. That I didn’t want to impose. My cousin seemed relieved.’
‘Fucking bullshit.’
The words had left TKs mouth before he very well knew it, and judging by the clenching of Carlos’ jaw, it had not been the right thing to say. Carlos didn’t say anything in response, though, and if at all possible TKs heart ached for him even more.
‘I just don’t want to cause an argument within my family, you know?’
Carlos sighed and he dropped his head. TK saw this as his opportunity to close the gap between them, and when he was close enough he gently grabbed Carlos’ hands. Carlos looked up at him, and any wall that had been there before was gone.
‘You wouldn’t have caused an argument,’ TK said. ‘That would’ve all been on them.’
Carlos pulled his hands back, wanting to put some distance between them, but TK held firm. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said, quickly realizing his mistake. ‘My family has been nothing but accepting, and I’m lucky. I know that. What I’m trying to say is, you deserve to be happy.’
Dropping one of Carlos’ hands, TK placed his warm palm on Carlos’ face. Carlos leaned into it slightly, his face an array of emotions.
‘It’s really shitty this happened, and you did nothing to deserve that treatment. But at the end of the day, it’s only a wedding. There’s way more important things, like you and me.’
TK let a silence fall between them before continuing.
‘Like us.’
Finally TK had found the right thing to say, as Carlos shifted his weight and all but fell into TKs arms. TK steadied him, a hand on his boyfriend’s head, as Carlos buried his face in his neck. TK held him, swaying slightly.
‘Besides, the only wedding that would be really terrible to miss would be ours.’
Carlos let out a surprised chuckle, and TK smiled at the breath against his neck. He felt some of the tension leave Carlos’ body, and relieve washed over him.
He might not always know what to say or do, but one thing was for sure; TK would stand here just like this all day if it meant Carlos would feel even the slightest bit better. Because that’s just what you do when you love someone.
They stood there silently, swaying for what felt like hours but was probably nowhere near. Carlos shifted, and TK frowned, worried that there might be more.
‘At least we’re missing the straightest wedding this world has ever seen. The theme is orange and camo.’
TK snorted in surprise, and he could feel Carlos laughing against him. He shook his head. ‘Yeehaw.’