Chapter Text
bucky’s mission lasts fourteen days and ten hours more than it was supposed to.
you both were very aware of that extra time.
you were aware as you worked, as you floated through his house without him and made yourself at home in the spaces that still smelled like him, as you worried for his safety and for sam’s as well—you knew the threat was bigger this time, you were here, after all.
bucky was aware in every sound of gunshot. his heart skipped a beat and his palms felt clammy, as if they tried to sweat. he was aware of your absence with every open wound that ached—a physical reminder that your hands weren’t there to suture him, to caress his hair and whisper sweet nothings on his temple.
the ghost of your apple lips touching the crinkle on his eyes as you said anything kept him safe at night.
he smiled whenever he thought about your goodbyes.
they might not be butterflies, but there was certainly something alive and fluttering inside his ribs at the thought of you.
you at his home .
the ten-day recon turned into a monthly disaster including explosions and an underwater facility—bucky’s still a little seasick, there’s nothing he hates more than not feeling the passing of time.
being away from each other was difficult, but you two usually handed it well by now. one year into the relationship you were used to not seeing bucky for a few days sometimes, but that was it— days .
when he and sam had realized how much longer it would take for you two to come back home, bucky found comfort in the way you two left things, knowing that while he was obligated to switch between hotel rooms and secret facilities, you’d been at his place.
whenever he misses you too much or worries for your safety, he recalls sam’s words.
“ she’s tough as nails, man. stop worrying about y/n, she’ll be fine .”
bucky knew sam was right.
it didn’t make missing you any easier, though. specially given how sad you looked this time—the tremble on your bottom lip as he kissed you a little longer still lingered in bucky’s mind. the worry you felt for him anchored him to the mission, making sure he was taking care of himself, but it was definitely harder, now.
the time away ached and stinged, but bucky kept replaying the day sam picked him up for the mission every time he couldn’t sleep and things got a little better.
he saw you tucked close in his chest with the frown between your brows, all your curls blinding him from anything else in your expression.
you knew bucky sensed you were beyond worried, but you always allowed yourself to hug him as thight you as your heart desired.
“ please come back with all your limbs.” your words were muffled against his chest, but you knew he heard you perfectly. “ all three of them.” you poked the metal arm. “ this we might be able to replace— i ’m pretty sure your friend shuri would love to design another one.”
“you think you’re funny, don’t you?” bucky had asked, but the jab would’ve been more effective if he weren’t laughing so much. “ i’ll return with all my limbs. all three of them. don’t worry .”
“ good .”
“ good.” he laughed, then kissed the top of your head, hugging you thighter. this was usually the time when you let go to kiss him and then stay in a comfortable silence until sam arrived, but you remained still, arms wrapped tight around his waist. “ doll? what’s wrong?”
he knew the answer to that, but the mission itself wasn’t enough to do this to you.
“ i’m sorry, i know it’s silly. i just... i’ll miss you. after a couple of weeks, all my clothes that smell like you don’t anymore and by then i’ll be missing you a lot.” your voice was barely above a whisper. “ i’m sorry. i don’t mean to make you feel bad, you know that, right?”
“i know.” bucky knew, but still—.
he kissed your temple, thinking about something that had been on his mind for a while.
he’d meant to take you with him if this mission hadn’t become of urgency, so he took a leap.
“ you could stay at my place.” the offer made him a little queasy—his apartment wasn’t much, yet, but that was because he’d been broke and dead, then just broke, then finally when pepper potts signed sam and him under stark tech and he’d started getting paid, bucky was just adverse to shopping. “ i know it’s not much, but i had actually meant to take you shopping with me... i want it to feel like a home. that’s why i love your place. it’s you and home and—i want that for mine too. so... even could take my card and my ridiculous stark employee checks to an ikea or anywhere, really, and only if you want, and if you’re bored...”
instead of finishing, bucky had frozen with a smile mid-sentence as you looked up with the brightest smile and laughter bubbling in your chest.
“ you were gonna make me choose everything and decore your whole place, weren’t you?”
“you know i’m horrible at making decisions,” he’d shrugged.
just then, sam had arrived and pulled up with his newest car, honking at the two of them.
“ hello, my favorite lovebirds!” the window of his passenger seat rolled down and sam smiled above his sunglasses. “ hello to my favorite grown person ever. how are you, baby?” with a pointed look to him, sam went, “ and hello to you, bucky bear.”
“sam. i know he’s your six, but if anyone gets within five feet of my boyfriend please use that shield of yours to rip them open by their asshole, yeah?” you had said with the sweetest smile, and sam had laughed out loud.
bucky stared between the two of you as he always did—entirely amused.
memories like those were the things that kept bucky happy and sane.
in your case, memories like those only gave you anxiety because they meant goodbyes and goodbyes meant no james, so you stuck to doing the thing bucky had asked you to do: “ feel at home. seriously, doll. whatever you’d like to do, you have my ‘yes’ and my ‘please’ and my ‘thank you’ .”
no one could say you resisted a pleading bucky and winnie had raised a very polite boy.
as you missed, you decorated.
you knew what bucky liked: deep down he was a nerd and a comfort-over-look kinda of guy. you started with the grey walls — they became very soft and different hues of green and blue — and moved to furniture.
when you realized what you were doing with his card, a lot of amazon was involved and bucky’s apartment no longer felt like a hotel—it felt like someone moving in.
someone who liked lord of the rings, edgar allan poe and shitty tv.
you turned the kitchen into a place where you could both cook and bake with silly and adorable kitchenware, his room had proper bookshelves for his books and a beautiful new wardrobe, his bathroom looked wicked and you were tired, missing him, with aches all over your body.
but fourteen days and ten hours later, none of that mattered.
none of it mattered because bucky returned home at two forty three in the morning, left his duffel and shoes by the door only to find you sleeping in his almost brand new apartment and his heart dropped to his feet.
his heart dropped and splattered all over the floor of his home .
you slept nestled between his blankets while penny dreadful episodes still played on the background.
the wine on the — new, very nice, babe — center table said you were on your week off from the hospital and the red around your eyes say you’ve been crying over vanessa ives’s tragic fate yes again.
bucky was glad for his decision to shower before getting home because then, he could do this: slide right into the sofa behind you and mold his body against yours, breathing in deep as you slowly wake up.
“buck?” you whisper.
“i’m home, doll,” he whispered back, kissing your neck. “love you so much. it’s beautiful in here. thank you, baby, thank you.”
“ bucky ,” you turn around inside the hold of his arms and wrap your body like an octopus around his. “ god, i missed you. you’re home, i’m so happy you’re home.”
“sleep, baby. we’ll wake up together.”
bucky felt you smile against his own neck, your lips pressing there against his pulse point. your eyelashes fluttered closed and you slept.
you were both home.