Chapter Text

cold hands, warm hearts

The soft lull of waves calls me in closer and closer. I taste the salt on my lips, the cold wind messes up my hair. My glasses are covered in droplets of the sea and I see the world in fractals. I take a step forward.

“Harvey, Earth to Harvey!”

My eyes jolt open as soon as I hear my name. The warmth suddenly surrounds my body and, as my eyes come into focus, I recognize the familiar wooden decoration of the Stardrop Saloon. At my table, waving a hand before my face, sits the farmer Parsnip, looking at me with furrowed eyebrows. I lick my lips quickly and taste no salt.

“Sweet Yoba, Harvey! You have to get more rest!” says Parsnip, strands of their dyed green hair hanging before their dark eyes. I grunt at their words, stretching to get the pain out of my lower back. “Ouch.”

“Parsnip is right,” states Shane, sounding tired himself, “I might not be a doctor but I prescribe you with some good night’s sleep.” I can’t help but shake my head at that, smiling with my head down. Did I really just fall asleep at the saloon? “I know, I know... it’s just that winter is here and so is the flu season. There isn’t even that much work right now but I know there will be so I’m preparing myself the best I can.” ‘The best I can’ meaning doing nothing but stressing out about doing nothing. I hear my head pounding and decide to finally call it a night. As I stand to leave, Parsnip grabs my hand.

“Seriously, take some time off. After all, you can’t cure the flu if you’re tired all the time.” I look into the two dark eyes through the wild green hair and see only warmth there. I glance at Shane whose concerned eyes stare at me. They truly want the best for me. But I’m afraid I can’t afford the best for myself. Not right now. “Thank you, both of you. Don’t forget to get the full eight hours of sleep, Shane. Parsnip, wear a scarf when you’re outside working on the farm. It protects you from the cold.” With both of their faces slightly relaxed now, they wish me goodnight and with that I’m up and on my way out. The saloon is full of people this Saturday night. Gus is working tirelessly to supply all the wanted beverages and snacks. Emily is chatting to Lewis and Marnie who are nestled into the corner of the saloon. Sam, Sebastian and Abigail are gathered around the arcade games, competing with fiery passion. Even Caroline is here with Jodi, the two of them getting tipsy off the sweet strawberry wine. Nothing and no one seems out of place. It’s like each of them are pieces of the puzzle, working together to create the lively core of the Pelican Town. The role of a doctor is to keep all the puzzle pieces healthy, able to do their own things. And that role requires an amount of work that doesn’t allow for a good-night’s rest. So rest just isn’t in my schedule. Maybe just a bit of rest.

Maybe it’s just the tiredness talking.

As I’m about to walk out into the cold winter night, a person pulls the door handle trying to enter. It confuses me at first so I step back, waiting. Just like that, the doors open and the cold air punctures my face, making me shudder. “Truly one of the coldest winters I’ve lived through, I barely even feel my hands. Gus, pour me a glass of wine immediately or else I shall freeze and become an ice sculpture!”

I recognize his voice before his head of red hair glides into the warm interior. Elliott walks past me at first, but right after he announces his wishes to Gus, who chuckles and goes to get the wine glass, his emerald eyes peer at me.

“Harvey!” he exclaims with a smile. He then notices my coat. “Oh, calling it an early night?”

“I must. Otherwise, Shane and Parsnip are going to carry me themselves to my bed.” We both smile at that and Elliott looks over to the table those two are sitting at. Parsnip is deep into explaining something while Shane sips on his beer and grins. The two of them; two puzzle pieces that just fit with each other.

“I see. In that case, have a good night,” Elliott says and I wish him the same. Only once I’m fully outside does the cold actually hit me. My skin prickles and I feel my moustache itching. It’s definitely going to be a cold winter, I think as I make my way back home across the town’s square. The cold reminds me of the stuff I’d rather forget, like last winter. Well, try to forget at least.

For example, how my mind wandered and I found myself on the icy sand, listening to the call of the sea. Or how I stood there for minutes, hours maybe, looking at the blurry sun rising behind the coat of white clouds. Or how exactly I felt while the seagulls screeched and flopped their wings on the icy wind. Or the yelp.  How the scales shimmered in the morning light. Or the long red hair, covered in sand and algae and the sickly white skin decorated with droplets of salt water. How my first reaction was to help and not ask questions. Or how since then, merpeople were not just fairy tales my mother used to tell me before going to sleep. 

They were as real as his vulnerable gaze was that winter morning. Some things you can never forget. I wonder if the memory lives in his mind as well, raw like a bleeding wound. I wonder if he tries to forget as well.

But maybe, it’s just the tiredness talking.

Chapter Text

Painful headache slowly wakes me up and when I sit up in my bed surrounded by the darkness, I know I’m not going back to sleep. I fix myself some cereal and sit at my table reading over patient medical files until my room begins to fill up with  faint light from the winter sun and my cereal becomes too soggy to finish. I put my robe on and climb downstairs into the clinic. The day officially starts. One thing they never tell you about going into medicine is how much paperwork goes into it. Sorting the family history files, writing reports and prescriptions, managing treatments… I spend the morning in daze, watching myself fill out necessary paperwork and sort through the piles of records and reports. I used to think being a doctor meant days filled out with patients and saving lives but days like this Sunday where the whole work day blends together in  a hurricane of numbers and words are closer to the truth.

It’s not until late in the morning when Maru comes around. Even when she’s off duty she still comes over to keep me company and it makes me feel bad that she wastes her free time on me. “Not a busy day?” She says, smiling.

“There’s always something to do around here,” I say and she nods in agreement and then sits down in front of the desk.

“Of course but it’s not peak flu season just yet. Good thing we’re stocked up on flu shots… Speaking of being stocked up,” she says and lifts up from her seat, her index finger finding a spot on the schedule opened in front of me. Her nails are short and well kept, painted in shiny red color. “I checked the inventory yesterday and it seemed like we’re running out of painkillers so I ordered a new batch. They should deliver them in a week or so, which I marked it in your schedule, I hope you don’t mind.” Maru’s efficiency continues to amaze me. Ever since she got interested in medicine and finished her nursing course, she’s been an irreplaceable help.  She always goes above and beyond and then brushes it off like it’s nothing. If anyone was born to be a doctor, it definitely is her. Also, unlike myself, she’s able to multitask. I glance down at the book I was reading and notice the unsorted stack of files next to it. I can barely keep track of one task I’m supposed to be doing.

“No, no, thank you! My mind’s all over the place, I would forget about the delivery and then get scared by the delivery people.” Maru giggles at that, falling back into her chair.

“Oh, Harvey,” she says it softly and then looks at me. Her mouth presses into a pitiful smile, her gaze dropping from the bags under my eyes to the messy stack of papers on the desk. “Listen,” she pushes her glasses back to the bridge of her nose, “there’s a resident doctor looking for work experience. She’s passionate and talented and I’m sure she would love to get some experience at the clinic. You can take some time off, I’ll be here to help her out if necessary.” I shake my head out of reflex. “No, no, it’s fine.”

“Harvey, you’re exhausting yourself for no reason.” She crosses her arms and maintains eye contact. Maru is as sweet as a person can be, until something hurts her or the people she loves. I sigh. Even with an escape from the exhaustion in front of me, I’m finding it hard to agree. Maybe I do need some time off. “Besides,” continues Maru, “the town could use a change of scenery. Plus you get the time off you deserve. I don’t see any negative sides to this.”

“Maybe you’re right,” I finally cave in, either because I truly do need the rest or because it will stop everyone from constantly bringing it up. Everyone is telling me that I should take some time off and not doing that would just make them all worry. Also, it’s not like I have too much of a choice here. I bet Parsnip and Shane will rejoice.

“Great!” Maru chirps and leaps out of her chair, moving towards the door already. “I’ll call her in the afternoon and get everything set up. She’ll surely get here on a short notice. And Harvey,” she says while halfway out of the door, “you won’t regret this.” 

I spent the rest of the afternoon going over all the files again. There’s just so much and I do my best to make the transition for the resident smooth. It reminds me of the time I first came here, under the wing of the great doctor Judy. She was on the edge of retirement when I arrived, full of adrenaline and with a patchy moustache I was growing out in med school. Judy kept records for me, led me around the town and taught me more than all the years of med school ever could. When she felt like I was ready to take over, the town threw her a farewell party and she went back to Zuzu City to live out her retirement. Her opinion meant everything to me and for her to praise me was the biggest achievement ever. I know I’m not retiring but it makes me think of just how far away that future is. Will they throw a farewell party for me when I’m retiring?

I clean up the clinic and then lock up, the day just barely starting to fade out. My vision fills up with droplets from the snowflakes landing on my glasses. I take them off and start cleaning them with a cloth. “Snowing right in time for the festival!” exclaims a voice next to me and when I put my glasses back on I see Lewis looking up. One of his hands is extended as he catches the snowflakes.

“Hopefully it doesn’t snow too much,” I say.

“There could never be too much snow, it’s perfect for the look we’re aiming for!”

“And what look is that?” I ask.

He proudly pulls on his suspenders, “Winter Wonderland, of course! They’re setting it all up in the forest right this moment.”

That gives me the idea to take a walk to the CIndersap forest, and I say goodbye to Lewis as I start walking. There I find Leah who’s carrying blue ribbons into the forest. We walk together and in the clearing I see Robin working on her ice sculptures and Elliott working on the booths. Lewis was right, it does look like a winter wonderland. So far there’s two fisherman statues and a wonderful reindeer. There’s also a few igloos, clearly the work of a skilled craftswoman like Leah. Both Leah and Robin seem to be doing their own things so I approach Elliott and he gives me a small smile. Without asking I bring over remaining planks and begin setting up the second booth. Robin comes around at some point to thank me and Elliott for helping out and complains about the weather. She invites us for some hot chocolate at Gus’ afterwards. It’s dark out when we finish up, all of us barely feeling our fingers anymore. Robin covers up her sculptures and Leah helps us cover up the booths and with that we’re on our way.

The warmth of the saloon welcomes us and the four of us find seats close to the fireplace to drink our hot chocolates. Maru comes around later and informs me that the resident will be here on Tuesday and that she’s excited to start. Speculation starts about the new doctor, who she is and what she looks like. I feel some weight lift off my shoulders and my thoughts stay so occupied by work and laughter that I feel the tiredness creep in late into the night.

Maybe it’s all going to be fine after all...

Chapter Text

Things are not fine.

I wake up with an immense headache and sore limbs. I get up to get myself some painkillers and that’s when I look out the window and see snow.

Not just snow but heaps and heaps of snowy hills covering Pelican Town. I glance at the clock and see that it’s late in the morning. I’ve slept in for the first time in a long time. Strange. Disregarding the late start of the day, I pour myself a cup of coffee and grab a quick breakfast. After dressing up, I go down into the clinic in the hopes of making my way over to the forest as soon as possible. This much snow in town means that the forest is in a bad shape and the mountain even worse. I make sure to bring a first aid kit and some hand warmers, hoping older residents are safely tucked in their homes and not out in this cold. As I’m about to exit the clinic I encounter a problem.

The door is blocked by the snow.

I try running against the door with my shoulder to no avail. Several failed attempts later I decide to just exit through the window, just like back in the old days. I used to sneak off from the back porch and meet up with cute boys. I was in my rebellious phase at the time and it really only lasted until my first heartbreak. Now, I feel my back ache in pain as I lightly bend over to plop out of the first floor window out into the big pile of snow outside. How the time flies...

I clear up around the front entrance and then I stomp in the hips-deep snow on my way to the forest. A head of red hair stands out in the field of white just at the other side of the town’s square. He stops in his tracks when he notices me, lifting his hands up around his mouth.

“Harvey!” Elliott shouts over the town’s square. “Can you believe all this snow?”

I rush across to get closer to him which makes me look like a penguin waddling around. “Looks like the whole town is buried underneath it,” I yell. Elliott has his red coat on, the ends of which are being dragged through the snow. The redness on his cheeks and nose stand out on his pale skin and he is wearing a raggedy knitted hat which he got from Willy. From the looks of it, both of us are freezing. And both of us are headed somewhere.

“Where are you going?” I ask him. “Just to the forest, Robin expressed to me urgently on the phone that I must check the ice sculptures. Robin and her lot seem to be heavily under snow and she says it’s taking them ages to clear it up. She might not make it to the festival!”

We’re both walking next to each other on our way to the forest. “Shouldn’t we help them out first?” I ask, unsure. He chuckles.

“You know Robin. I insisted but she was persistent. Those statues are her pride and joy. Well, after her children but it’s a close tie.” I smile, looking forward into the icy forest. “That is true.” We continue deeper into the forest. In conversations like these it almost seems normal. Him and me. As if we share the most mundane history and like our pasts never intertwined besides the occasional chat about the weather. I wonder if, in this moment of our shared silence, he thinks of it too. Before I can say anything he gasps. I look up to the clearing in the woods.

Everything is under snow. Everything.

“Where are the sculptures?!” Elliott panics.

“And the booths? It must be underneath the snow somewhere,” I say and the hills in the snow become more apparent. “Let’s start digging!”

Without another word we go to the places we think the booths were at and start clearing the snow with our hands. It’s soft and incredibly cold, definitely not a job for bare hands. But right underneath a layer of snow the blue tart appears. Elliott and I exchange looks of relief.

After we clear the booths, Marney and Shane come over to help us shovel off the snow. One of the booths broke a bit due to the weight of the snow on it, but that’s an easy fix. What awaits are the sculptures. The delicate, handmade sculptures. Before I can start clearing the spots, I hear a voice calling my name. I turn to see Parsnip, concern written on their face.

“Harvey! Mayor Lewis has slipped outside his home! It might be serious, he says his back hurts a lot.” I turn to leave immediately, but I reach into my bag first.

“Elliott!” I shout. He turns around, his dark eyebrows tightly furrowed. I throw a few hand warmers and he catches them, his smile turns shy when he recognizes what they are.

“Thank you, Harvey,” he says sincerely. His eyebrows relax and a warm smile stays on his face as he waves  goodbye. With that, I make my way to the town’s square again.

It doesn’t take me long to take care of Lewis. Apparently, after the town’s square was cleaned from excess snow, the bottom layer remained frozen. Lewis merely exited his house and slipped on the ice right in front of it, where neighbors saw him and immediately called for me. Gus and Pierre help Lewis get into the clinic where I check for any signs of broken bone but I don’t find anything. Besides the bruise on his thigh, the mayor is fine. I also check for frostbites and concussion but at that point Lewis urges me that he is feeling good and must go back to work which I strongly advise against. He, of course, doesn’t end up listening and leaves to get to the festival, thanking me for all the help.

I run into Jodi, Kent and Sam outside the clinic, who are all equipped with shovels and headed up the mountain to help Robin and Demetrius clear up the snow there. We end up spending a good chunk of the afternoon clearing the mountain area. Robin is so distressed that she keeps walking around and fidgeting, but Jodi convinces her to eat something first and then go down to the festival. We have tea and sandwiches and then we’re up and back to our mission to save the festival. As we round the last tree and look into the clearing of the woods…

…the festival looks perfectly normal. Caroline approaches us and hugs Robin, whose face is filled with relief. She tells us how some of the statues had broken limbs but they managed to freeze them back together. Truthfully, some sculptures do look a bit disheveled, but it’s a better outcome than we could’ve hoped for.

Due to the roads being blocked, no tourists end up coming but we all manage to have a pleasant time. There’s the fishing competition (which Parsnip ends up winning yet again), plenty of food and snowball fighting. Parsnip and Shane congratulate me on the time off by getting me a bottle of red wine, and we end up drinking all of it. They speculate on the new resident doctor and Parsnip already thinks of a perfect welcome basket filled with all of the farm’s goods. Shane wonders if she’ll stay at the saloon or at my place, which I dismiss. It’s no place for a lady. Barely even a suitable place for me. Parsnip feels bad for the mice in my walls and we all laugh, the night slipping away peacefully.

Instead of draining me, this day fills me with energy. It's a strange feeling but I don't fight it. I take it as it is.

Chapter Text

At seven o’clock the next day I find myself freezing at the bus station, waiting patiently with Maru. The morning is cold and foggy but the roads have been cleared out last night. Besides the squeaking of our shoes in the snow, nothing else can be heard.

“The patient’s papers, are they prepared?”

“Yes, Harvey. They are,” sighs Maru.

I nod my head, going over the list of tasks in my head again.

“And the cabinets? Are they sorted?”

“Yes, I did that yesterday.”

“What about the-” Maru cuts me off. “Harvey, relax. Everything’s going to be just fine.” We stand in silence for a bit longer. A bird chirps somewhere in a tree and the sound carries across the station and over the empty road.

First we hear the low rumbling of the engine in the distance and after a while the bus arrives. I steady my coat and run fingers through my hair. Click of her heels can be heard first, and then at the bus entrance stands the new resident doctor. Only then does it hit me how young she is. Well, younger than me anyways. She’s around Maru’s age and is wearing a stylish felt coat, her short dark hair slicked back. Her skin is dark and tanned, having absorbed all the sun in the Calico desert. I notice her piercing black eyes examining her surroundings behind her thin glasses before they land on Maru. Suddenly, her whole face lightens up and a blinding smile appears.

“Maru! It’s been ages! Oh, no. Please don’t tell me you’ve been waiting out in this cold.” She steps down from the bus, dropping a large suitcase and a handbag on the snow. Her arms open up and she embraces Maru, who is giggling.

“It’s so nice to see you again, Amy!” She steps back from her and then gestures towards me. “Harvey, this is Amélie. Amélie, this is doctor Harvey.” Amélie eyes me for a second and then extends her gloved hand confidently.

“It’s a pleasure,” she says and I shake her hand. I feel slightly embarrassed when her grip is stronger and more secure than mine.

“I didn’t know you two knew each other?” I ask, puzzled. I look over at Maru who has an apologetic smile on her face.

“Amélie and I met during my nursing course in Zuzu City. I had a lot of time in between my classes so I often visited the garden near the medical school,” Maru explains, Amélie smirking. “Which is where,” Amélie adds, “I happened to be studying at. And this country girl caught my attention, looking like a lost puppy and all that.” She then looks behind me and adjusts her glasses. “Well then, show me what this place is about!”

I offer to help her with her bags and we end up splitting the load, Maru leading us all into the town. Truth is, Pelican Town isn’t a big deal. Especially not for someone who lives here. It’s remote, quiet and repetitive at times. However, for someone from the outside, Pelican Town might be the best place they’ve ever seen. It’s remote, quiet and repetitive! Everything that Zuzu City is not. And as Maru and I half-heartedly describe the area and the town’s square, Amélie’s eyes seem to sparkle with interest. She tells us it’s quite different from the Calico Desert.

“Working in the big hospital in Zuzu City was intense. I mean, rush here, run over there… The second the superiors sense the smell of a newbie they put you on all their jobs they don’t want to be doing. So I quit! I transferred over to Calico Desert but that was just as tough! Too much sand would bore anyone and my skin was dry all the time. I complained to Maru day and night and as soon as she told me I might be able to help out here, I was relieved! I’ll take mud over sand any day of the week.”

We showed her around the town’s square and the clinic. She seems to grasp things quickly, memorizing what is in which cabinets on the fly. Mayor Lewis shows up at one point to welcome our new guest, who seems to charm everyone with her confident introduction. Later in the afternoon, Haley visits the clinic for her yearly check up. Amélie immediately picks up on the small details and starts chatting to Haley about cameras and fashion. She does have a few hiccups here and there, having to reread files and forgetting to measure a patient's blood pressure, but with the help of Maru she gets back on track just fine. The two of them show amazing teamwork, making inside jokes and helping each other out when necessary. I mostly stay in the background because, well, there isn’t much I can do. It seems weird, seeing another person do my job in their own way, but I can see it working out in the end.

At the end of the shift, Maru decides to take Amélie over to the saloon, where she will be staying. “You can come along if you want to,” says Maru. “We could take a walk around town afterwards?”

“No, no. You two just go. You must have a lot of catching up to do,” I say. The two of them grin and exchange glances, all giddy and happy. “Amélie, if you need any help at all don’t hesitate to call me. I live just above so I can get to you in a second,” I say, as sincere as I can. Amélie seems to get my point and smiles, lifting up an eyebrow.

“I thought you were supposed to relax?” she asks, teasingly. Maru laughs.

After they leave I stay in the clinic for a bit, tidying up for the day. How does one even relax? After such a long time working, I’ve forgotten how to spend free days just doing nothing. There was always something going on or someone needed help. I’ve never known a day where I just do… nothing.

A knock on the glass door makes me jump. I look up and see Elliott, trying to peer inside. I sigh in relief and get up to open the door.

“Oh, Harvey! I thought no one was in,” he says, startled when he sees me.

“No, I was just closing for today. Can I help you with anything?”

“I just wanted to express a warm welcome to the new guest of our lovely town! I hear she has a great sense of fashion, according to Haley.”

I laugh. It’s funny how fast the word spreads in such a small town. “Unfortunately she just went to the saloon with Maru. You can probably catch them there,” I say and he shakes his head.

“Our paths will cross ways some other day. And I must get back to the beach, a lot of work awaits.”

“Working on a new book?” I ask.

“Sadly not, my creativity is far too drained. Willy had asked me politely to clean the decks, as the Night Market is approaching. Life of a sailor awaits me I’m afraid,” he says, sadly gazing out towards the beach.

I think for a second. It’s not exactly relaxing but... “Do you mind if I help you out? I don’t have much else to do otherwise to be honest,” I say and Elliott snaps around. His face instantaneously lights up and he throws his arms in the air.

“You are a cure, Harvey! A cure for boredom! But you will not be doing the difficult part, leave that to me.” I laugh as I lock up and follow him to the beach.

Chapter Text

As I imagined, the deck is incredibly cold. Elliott huffs out clouds of vapor every time he sighs, annoyed by the labour. There’s an accumulation of algae, sand, barnacles and who knows what on the deck, all of which we carefully have to scrub off. It’s not easy, but it’s what has to be done, said Willy when we saw him on our way to the beach. The milky sun is shining on the calm sea, producing iridescent light. The kind of iridescence that only scales can produce, twisting sunrays and giving them a new purpose. Sometimes I wonder whether I imagined everything, but that shine assures me I didn’t. Does he remember at all?

“Barnacles, why did you decide to nest right here, on our lovely deck? There must have been a better spot to enjoy the sea,” says Elliott, who’s standing next to one of the wooden poles on the beach. It’s amazing how far the tide goes. If he was standing at the same spot during the tide, there would be water up to his thighs. I take a look at him. For a writer, Elliott is well built. Piece of green ribbon is holding back his hair and I see a flash of white cotton shirt underneath his coat. His earring sometimes catches the late afternoon light, glistening like a little star.

“Hey, Elliott?” I say distracted, my words guiding me. Elliott looks up to the top of the deck, where I’m kneeling, wetness of the deck damping my trousers. His eyebrows perk up. My eyes are still focused on that glimmer by his ear. “When did you get your ear pierced?”

His eyebrows furrow for a second, my mind finally catching up to my mouth. Oh no, that was out of nowhere. I raise my hands up, shaking my head.

“Sorry, that- that was completely out of nowhere! You don’t have to answer, I-I don’t know why I asked,” I utter, stumbling over my words. Elliott’s face softens as he laughs.

“No need to apologize!” He raises his hand up to his ear, rubbing the small, golden hoop-earring between his fingers. “I’ve had the earring itself for a long time, but couldn’t wear it. A week ago I told Leah about it and she pierced my ear, all by herself! It did not even sting, she’s done an excellent job,” he says. My eyes shoot open wide.

“All by herself?!” I say, my voice trembling.

“Yes!” Elliott says, his smile proud as he caresses the earring.

My arms fly up to my head. “And now you’re touching a brand new wound with barnacle-fingers?!”

Elliott’s mouth opens for a second but then he closes it. His eyes open wide in realization, his hand slowly moving away from his ear.

“That… that is correct…”

“Elliott, is it infected?”

“I haven’t thought about that possibility…” I stand up, my arm reaching out. “May I check it?”

He nods and lets me get close. I move a strand of his hair away and he turns his head away to let me get a better view. It only takes me a glance to see the redness in the area, my suspicion turning out to be true. I sigh and look at Elliott. His cheeks are red from the cold and his eyes are filled with worry, but his lips are pressed tightly together in anticipation. “I’m afraid it is infected… Let’s go to the clinic to take care of it,” I say and Elliott sighs in relief.

“Such a privilege to have a doctor as a friend,” he says and I smile, leading the way into the town. The smile remains on my face. I never thought Elliott considered me one of his friends. As far as I know, he’s close to Leah and Willy and on good terms with pretty much everyone else. I only really see Shane, Parsnip and Maru as my friends, it’s strange making friends when the entire town is your patient. But if Elliott sees me as a friend I guess it doesn’t hurt if I consider him one as well.

We get into the clinic and into the examination room, where I prepare some gauze and sterile saline. Elliott sits on the patient’s table, looking around. “This reminds me of the last time I was here! How horrible that was,” he says. I look closer into the red area around the piercing, Elliott holding his hair away. I put some saline solution on the gauze and carefully clean around it, which should do the trick for now. It doesn’t seem serious enough to require antibiotics but-

Last time?

But the last time he was here was a year ago…

I stop mid cleaning and immediately turn to Elliott, who doesn’t seem bothered. At that moment I hear the doors open and someone calls my name, which makes me jump. I decide to hold off on a comment and announce my presence to Maru, who waits in front of the examination room. I tell Elliott how to care properly for his new piercing and he thanks me, something playful in the way he smiles.

When we walk out, Maru is standing there, hands on her hips. “I knew you would be here!” she says, squinting at me. She turns to Elliott. “And you, did he drag you in here?”

Elliott gasps and looks at me. “Harvey! You are not supposed to be working!” He slams his hand on his chest dramatically, and then shakes his head. “It is my fault, my dear Maru. My ear piercing is infected and he just offered to look at it. From now on I will make sure that he doesn’t step foot in this clinic!”

Maru giggles at that, rolling her eyes. I just shake my head and chuckle, my cheeks getting hot. Why does it feel like I got caught sneaking out or something?

“I didn’t come here to scold you,” says Maru, her voice pleasant. “The town’s throwing a welcome dinner for Amélie in the saloon! I was afraid you forgot about it so I came here to get you.” And it is true, I absolutely forgot.

We lock up the clinic and get going to the saloon. I can’t stop glancing over at Elliott after we leave the clinic, trying to maybe get more than just those words of confirmation today. But every time I glance over he seems joyful, not a trace of worry on his long face.

So, after all this time, he remembers it. That is something... I dare not call it hope.

Chapter Text

In the morning I wake up with a desire to go back to the beach again. There’s still a lot of work left and I have yet to plan anything for this vacation. Maybe I also want to see Elliott again. Does he remember everything? As I’m about to fix myself the regular bowl of cereal, I hear a knock on my door. Slowly, I inch closer to the doors.

“Hello?” I call out.

“We brought pancakes!” shouts a familiar voice and I relax, opening the doors.

Parsnip immediately rushes in, throwing their arms around me. They smell like flour and cinnamon and Shane follows behind them. “Congratulations on your vacation! Now eat up these pancakes and get ready, because we’re taking you out,” says Parsnip happily. Shane can’t help but chuckle, putting the pancakes on my table. My heart sinks slightly when I realize my trip to the beach today will have to wait. Sudden change of plans never fails to leave me demotivated. I hope Elliott wasn’t expecting me. I shake the thoughts from my head and let the suspense take over. After all, Shane and Parsnip are my friends. Whatever they have in plan will be a lot of fun.

“Well, where are you taking me?” I ask, munching down on the pancakes. Parsnip truly is an excellent cook.

“It’s a secret,” says Shane smugly but Parsnip cuts in at the same time, “Rock-climbing!”

They look at one another, both surprised. Shane sighs, covering his face with his hand, Parsnip covers their mouth, trying to contain laughter. “Now you ruined the surprise!” laughs Shane, Parsnip’s hands flying up to their head. “I completely forgot it was supposed to be a surprise, I got excited!”

I laugh, watching the moment unfold. A thought pops into my mind. “Rock-climbing? In the middle of the winter? I’ve never even been rock-climbing before, have you two?”

Parsnip grins confidently. “Nope! That’s the fun part.”

On our way downstairs we run into Amélie who is sitting at the front desk, reading some files. She looks at us over her thin-framed glasses. “Off to have some fun?” she says, grinning.

“If you can call it that,” I say, “they’re taking me rock-climbing!”

Amélie laughs. “Cheer up, you old man! You know, Robin does rock-climbing up in the mountains. She says the only difficult thing about it is getting down, because once you’re up, you won’t want to leave.”

Shane lifts his eyebrow in surprise. “Whoa. I’ve known Robin this whole time and I had no idea she went rock-climbing.”

“Yeah, me neither,” says Parsnip, sounding impressed. Amélie closes her eyes and leans back into her chair, shrugging. “What can I say, people just open up to me.”

My stomach churns in a weird way. On our way up to the mountain, I start feeling guilty. She’s been here a day and is already closer to the townsfolk than me. Confidence radiates off of her and she’s easy to talk to, both things I could never be. I remember the time I was starting off, anxiously trembling if a patient slightly raised their voice. Even nowadays I feel tears starting to well up as soon as someone starts shouting. I’m a doctor who can barely talk to his patients without stuttering. I sigh, my mind racing.

“Come on, Harvey,” says Parsnip, nudging me. “It really isn’t going to be that scary.” I decide to just smile in return, pushing the thoughts as far away as possible.

When we finally get to the side of the mountain where rock-climbing is set-up, courtesy of Clint himself, we all fall silent. The track goes very high up. Even Parsnip swallows and looks nervously around. Around is nothing but mountains, white snow covering the tops of pine trees. The sun ducks behind clouds now and again. “Well then,” says Shane, white in face. “First one to the top gets a free dinner!”

Shane and I manage to climb up a few meters before gasping for air, climbing back down. We watch in awe as Parsnip ascends higher and higher, reaching one checkpoint after another. Even with shaky hands, they push on. Shane finds a nice bench for us to sit down, clearing it from snow.

“I guess Parsnip’s really wants that dinner,” I say. Shane laughs, nodding his head.

“Yeah, I guess so,” he says, looking out towards the mountain. In the distance, some snow falls off a tree, thumping down onto the ground. The light catches snowflakes in the air, which sparkle as they fall in front of us. Few rocks slide off the mountain side.

“Is everything alright?” I ask. Shane sighs, putting his hands into his pockets and sulking.

“Everything’s fine. Well, it’s okay. I don’t know, it’s a weird time…” We sit in silence for a bit, our breaths turning into fog. “I don’t know where we stand. Me and Parsnip, I mean,” he continues carefully. “We spend so much time together and it seems obvious where we’re headed. But then something happens and I doubt the whole thing. Maybe I’m looking too much into it but, Harvey, I’ve never had that much fun with someone before. I’m… I'm afraid, I guess.”

I look over at him and he’s looking down at his boots, clearing out snow.

“What are you afraid of?” I try not to think about how this is the first time Shane has been so open with me.

“I don’t know, maybe it’s a misunderstanding? Parsnip sees me as a good friend anyways, I would never throw that away for some… confused feelings. Yoba, I thought you’re only supposed to feel like this as a teenager.” He covers his face with his hands.

I wrap my arms around myself, leaning forward to look at Shane, red of his cheeks poking in between his fingers. “I’m afraid feelings follow us into adulthood as well,” Shane laughs at that, lifting his head up to look at me. I clear my throat, “And I’m sure the feelings are mutual. There’s nothing to be afraid of, Shane.”

Shane smiles, then looks up to the mountain where Parsnip is waving down at us from the top.

“I hope so,” he says, absently.

“I really do hope so.”

Chapter Text

We spend the rest of the day walking around the mountains. Parsnip explains to us that it wasn’t even that scary, honestly, to get up to the top, and Shane and I pretend we didn’t see their legs wobble when they got down. Hunger hits us some time after noon and Parsnip invites us over for some lunch.

The farmhouse is welcoming and busy, chickens and ducks clucking and quacking as they run around the kitchen, some of them going back outside through a pet flap. “Shane and I would bring them in when they were little ducklings,” explains Parsnip, setting up the table for us, “and they just loved spending time inside so much that I couldn’t bear to let them freeze out there. So Robin helped me install the pet flap! Shane was against the idea at first but he’s warmed up to it.”

“Who said I warmed up to it? They have their coop outside where it’s warm so there’s no reason for them to bring in dirt all the time,” Shane rolls his eyes, chickens gathered around his feet. But it’s hard for him to keep a straight face and he smiles when he looks down on them. I catch Parsnip’s eyes for a second as they look at Shane and his chickens. Their eyes are clear and sparkling, without a doubt in their mind. At that moment I rest assured, Shane has nothing to be afraid of.

We eat some wonderful cabbage soup which Parsnip prepared in the morning, the cabbage soft and sweet. After a cup of tea and some conversation, I get ready to leave. I thank both of them for today and wish them well. Shane casts a look full of anxiety before I leave and I try my best to reassure him with my eyes. He understands and smiles nervously at me, taking a deep breath. ‘You can do it, Shane,’ I think to myself as I leave. ‘There’s nothing to be afraid of.’

Before I know it my body guides itself to the beach, the late afternoon sun itching towards the horizon. Maybe Elliott still needs help with cleaning or some other wacky job he accepted. Maybe I just want to hang out with my friend. Either way, my boots squeak on the sand that is covered in a thin layer of snow and the sea looks as peaceful as ever. The docks are decently clean and empty, except for Willy, who is fishing and absorbing the little warmth there is from the sun. My first thought is to ask Willy where Elliott is and whether he needs any help, but I decide not to bother the fisherman in his moment of peace. Instead I tuck my hands into my pockets and head for Elliott’s cabin.

I gently knock on the dark wooden doors but I receive no answer. When I’m about to knock again I notice that the doors are open. Concern overwhelms my desire not to intrude and the thoughts of someone breaking in or Elliott being hurt compel me to carefully push the doors open.

Although messy, there aren’t any signs of danger and I calm down. My eyes notice familiarity and I take a look around. The main room is modest, his writing desk in one corner and his bed in the other one. The room is well lit and the light catches the mountain of crumpled papers on and around his desk. An empty notebook lays open on the desk, accompanying a wilted rose. I turn to look at his bed, the sheets unmade and a pile of books surrounding the phone on his nightstand. On the right there are closed doors and before them even more books. The smell of the decaying rose hits my nostrils and I cover my nose quickly. I know better than to judge though, my mind returning to the piles of documents on my desk. I sigh.

It’s my first time here since a year ago, but not much has changed.

I remember that behind those closed doors there is a bathroom, which is where I carried Elliott to last winter. As soon as I noticed him with his tail out like that on the beach, my doctor’s brain took over. I examined him, realized how cold and exhausted he was and carried him to his cabin. Elliott was going in and out of consciousness but managed to tell me to take him to his bathroom. I don’t remember which one of us was trying harder to reassure the other that everything was going to be fine. I put him in the tub and started filling it up with warm water, stopping midway through because Elliott began choking and asked me to get some sea water. The mixture of the warm sea water seemed to stabilize him and, after I ran to the clinic and came back with some equipment, he was in his bed and burning up with fever. He never told me about what happened and I never asked. I came back to the cabin a couple of times after that, checking his vitals and bringing him food before Leah started visiting him. A week later, when I got back into my busy schedule, he came by the clinic for his last check up. He thanked me then and when I said it’s just my job, he shook his head and smiled and I knew exactly what he meant.

Now I step away from the cabin and close the doors quietly. From the corner of my eye I catch a glimpse of red. In the distance, near the whirlpools, I recognize Elliott’s silhouette.

Maybe it's time to someone said something.

‘Come on, Harvey,’ I think to myself as I make my way to the other side of the beach. ‘There’s nothing to be afraid of.’

Chapter Text

As I approach him, Elliott looks deep in thought, searching for something in the water.

“Hey,” I say and it comes off more nervous than intended. Elliott snaps out of his thoughts and when he sees me his eyes widen in slight surprise.

“Harvey!” He shouts, approaching me and pulling me into a hug. My hands in my pockets get pinned between us awkwardly but I manage to wiggle them out and pat him on his back. He smells pleasantly of old books and candle smoke, his smooth hair tickling my nose. When I step back, the side of his head catches my eye.

“Your ear!” I exclaim, a smile forming on my face, “it looks much better already.” Elliott gasps in relief and closes his eyes, moving the hair out of the way to let me take a better look. He lifts his head up proudly. “Indeed it does. All thanks to you and your advice, now I can wear jewelry with no fears.”

“I’m glad,” I say. He eyes me suspiciously, crossing his arms. “You haven’t been working, have you? Because you know I promised Maru…” I wave my hands in front of me.

“No, no. Don’t worry! Parsnip and Shane wanted to celebrate my vacation so they took me rock-climbing.”

“Rock-climbing?” Elliott asks, lifting an eyebrow. “In the middle of winter?”

“Well, you know Parsnip’s adventurous spirit.” Elliott nods, a grin appearing on his face as his eyes search for memories. “Ahh, yes. I remember telling Parsnip to write a memoir, but they said it would be too much of a hassle. Preposterous! How is writing a hassle to someone who spends their whole day working on a farm, I’ll simply never understand…” I chuckle and Elliott smiles, then tilts his head.

“What are you doing on the beach, anyways?” He asks. I look out towards the docks, feeling just a bit embarrassed. Well, I wanted to spend time with him, but there’s no way I’ll say that.

“I was thinking you’d need more help with cleaning but I assume you’re against me doing any form of labor”

“And you are correct on that account! Besides, Leah already came by today and we’ve made some serious progress. Fret not, the docks will be so clean that you’ll see your face reflected in the floor,” Elliott boasts. The words hit me like a sledgehammer, and I know that at night I’ll hear them all over again. Yet another example of how easy it is to replace me. No, I shouldn't think like that. I try not to think about it now, focusing instead on Elliott. He’s looking out onto the docks, nothing but peace in his eyes.

“So, what are you doing here?” I say, trying to change the topic.

“During winter many crabs come into the shallow waters to feed, so they sometimes end up in the whirlpools like these ones,” he continues to walk around a stone, peering into the puddle.

“Well if you don’t end up finding any crabs here, there’s always Gus with his crab cakes,” I say playfully. Elliott laughs, his laugh condensing as it hits the chilly air. We continue walking, a question at the tip of my tongue. I formulate it once again in my head and out it goes.

“Did you use to look for crabs before you came up here?”

My eyes quickly search for his face, awaiting a reaction. His eyebrows shoot up quickly, his gaze fixed on the rocks before us. I think, ‘this is it’. Whatever we’ve built up so far I’ve ruined, stepping way past boundaries. It’s like I can’t help myself, a hand before me but I’m grabbing onto the arm. He’s going to distance himself but not if I do it first. I wait for a pitiful look or perhaps a pair of disgusted eyes looking back at me. But his dark red lips press into a thin line, before dissolving into a smile. Elliott looks at me then, his green eyes slightly squinting from the smile.

“I did! I did and when it’s warmer out I still do it. The deeper you go, the fresher the crabs, Willy always says, but I try not to go in too deep because I’m more comfortable in shallow and warm waters,” his eyes are sparkling, his hands waving around as if to paint the picture. 

He tells me of the biggest king crabs he’s had, ones that his mother found deep below the surface. He says the first time he had boiled and seasoned lobster he almost passed out, the rich flavor forever saved in his memory. Then he tells me about the various shrimp species and which parts of the sea they prefer and how shocked he was to learn we ate them without the shell.

It gets dark quickly and when our hands start hurting from the cold we go back into the town, our stomachs craving some crab cakes. At the saloon we find a place in the corner to sit, devouring the warm food Gus prepared for us, as Elliott continues to talk about the differences in crustaceans. And I listen, my ears and hands and the tips of my fingers buzzing with electricity, urging and craving for more. He talks and I ask and he clarifies and he goes on a tangent and I question and he answers and I ask for more details and he recites and with his artful words he paints the landscapes and the scenes and it feels so alive, as if I’m there in the water with him. We swim in the endless conversation, long after we’re finished with the crab cakes.

And at some point Gus tells us he’s closing, after what felt like minutes of talking. However, both of our mouths are dry and yawns keep escaping us, and it seems like we’ve compressed the time itself. We leave the warm saloon and say our goodbyes, going back to our homes.

I fall asleep with the image of the smile that never left Elliott’s face, not even as we said goodbye, etched behind my eyelids.

Chapter Text

All I see around me is snow. I try stepping forwards and my foot falls right through the snow until my thighs. Looking down, I see that I’m just wearing my pajamas. How did I end up here? Suddenly I feel seen and out of embarrassment I look for a place to hide. I attempt to run but my feet keep getting stuck in the snow. Then, something catches me by the foot and yanks me down with all its might. I keep my eyes shut and after some falling I open my eyes to see water all around me. It feels much warmer here although above me is a thick sheet of ice. My best option now is to continue swimming in a direction until I find a way up or else I’m going to drown. I swim slowly, almost as if swimming through molasses. Eventually, dots of light appear in the distance. Moonlight jellies surround me, their colorful shine comforting. Out of nowhere I begin to feel uneasy and something below me catches my eye. I look down to see a giant shadow of a shark, its sharp teeth lunging at me. As I’m about to scream, light hits my eye and I see the familiar interior of my room, a scream stuck in my throat.

Well… that was a strange dream.

I make myself some coffee and fry up some eggs, spending the rest of my morning reading in silence. I feel uneasy throughout, cursing the weird dream for my bad mood. Dreams are, simply put, made up by our minds while they process information from previous days. Was I really that stressed? I try not to give it too much thought and eventually the unease disappears.

Around noon I go downstairs into the clinic. I hear some chatter in the office and there I find Maru and Amélie having lunch. “Oh, Harvey!” Maru calls out, her mouth full. She covers her mouth and lifts up a fork towards me: “We’re having some cheese cauliflower, come join us!”

I bring over a stool and sit next to Maru, Amélie sitting at the front of the desk, digging into one of the drawers and pulling out an extra fork for me. The cheese cauliflower is in a casserole dish on the table, by the looks of it, made by Maru herself. “How was the rock-climbing yesterday? Did you have fun?” asks Amélie. I take a bite of the creamy cauliflower and realize how hungry I’ve gotten.

“Yes, it was fun. Parsnip ended up climbing to the top, of course.” Amélie furrows her brows, thinking.

“Parsnip is the farmer, right? Kind of a silly name.”

“Hey!” Maru calls out, sharply swinging her fork towards her friend. “Back when we were kids, Parsnip would come over during summer holidays and hang out with us. They went by a different name back then but we all knew their middle name started with the letter ‘P’. We’d  always try to guess what the ‘P’ stood for but they just wouldn’t tell us. Finally, they told us it stood for ‘Parsnip’ and that it was given to them by their grandpa, the one that used to live on the farm. I don’t know what Parsnip was expecting, but we all thought it was very cool and unique! Then, years later when they came back to Pelican Town, they introduced themselves as Parsnip, green hair and all! I think they truly feel at home here, because where else can you just unapologetically be yourself?”

I remember asking Parsnip about their name, getting a similar answer back then. Besides the few residents who’ve lived here their whole lives, it seems like the Pelican Town attracts people who are searching for something, or someone. I guess Parsnip was searching for their true selves.

I look over to Amélie, her eyebrows furrowed and her shoulders slouched. “Oh, Yoba, now I feel like an idiot!”

“It’s okay,” Maru says, reaching over the table to pat her hand, “you just didn’t know.”

“Yeah, it’s such a touching story… I mean, I still think it’s a silly name but I’m glad I know the backstory of it now.” A laugh escapes my lips and Maru gasps, trying to hold back a laugh while playfully hitting Amélie.

After we finish our lunch we make our way to the waiting room where Amélie and Maru sit at the front desk and I sit on the chair upfront. Amélie is making notes in her documents, I’m reading my book and Maru is typing some data into the computer until she stops and groans. “Oh, no...” she says defeated.

“What is it?” I ask.

“The new batch of painkillers I ordered from Zuzu City won’t be here until a month from now! Apparently their delivery people are all on holidays,” she declares, visibly upset as she rereads the letters on her screen.

“A month? We’ll run out of medication by then,” says Amélie, looking up from her documents.

“They’re still allowing pick-ups on weekends…” Maru drops her head and starts pulling out her planner. “I guess I’ll go on Saturday then.”

I watch as she picks up her pen, her lips pressed tightly together in disappointment.

“Hey,” I say, clearing my throat, “I could go and pick them up instead. Actually, I could use a trip to the city, I haven’t been there in a while.”

Maru holds her pen in the air, eying me carefully. “Are you sure? Harvey, it’s your time off and I-”

“I’ll bring Elliott with me! He promised you he wouldn’t let me work so you can trust him.”

My mind catches up with my words and I feel the heat rising to my cheeks. Why was that my first thought? But, I’ll admit it’s a good idea, now that I think about it. Provided Elliott wants to come along, that is.

Maru smiles and then sighs, slamming her planner shut. “Thank you! I owe you one. However, I’m fine with this only because of Elliott. Just get the medicine and don’t spend another second thinking of work, you got it?” I laugh and sink into my chair, relaxing.

A little excursion never hurt nobody. Right?

Chapter Text

Soon after comes Emily for her yearly check up and I decide to stay and observe. Amélie handles everything with poise, chatting with Emily as she looks over her files. They know each other from the saloon, Maru tells me, they’ve been talking about fashion ever since their first conversation. Amélie takes Emily to the office, which faintly smells of cheese. Emily doesn’t seem to notice and Amélie measures her blood pressure and heart rate, gets her temperature and listens to her heart through a stethoscope. When Maru takes Emily to a different room to take some samples, Amélie sighs and looks at me with anticipation.

“So, how did I do?” she asks. I chuckle, recognizing the same look of restlessness that comes with being a resident doctor.

“You did really well, I’m proud of you. Not that I had any doubt, of course,” I say softly and she pouts.

“But I had to measure the heart rate twice! And I practically tumbled over my words when I was asking her about her health overall. These mistakes add up…” she says, defeated. She pushes her glasses on top of her head, pinching the bridge of her nose. It’s strange to see Amélie uncertain, her eyes shaded in an unfamiliar look of disappointment. I sit across from her and lean forward.

“Nobody expects perfection from you. You’re still so young, mistakes are bound to happen. And besides, you didn’t harm anyone, did you? There’s nothing to be ashamed of,” I say reassuringly. It’s the same words I craved to hear back in residency and it seems like it works.

She looks away and blinks fast. Then she looks back at me and musters up a smile, some relief in her eyes. Bingo. “Thank you,” she whispers. Then she inhales and smiles wide, slapping her hands on her knees as she gets up. “Now let’s see what those two are up to!”

We go into the back rooms where the examination beds are, Maru just finishing up. “Oh, hi!” Emily chirps as we walk in. She’s holding a small cotton pad on her inner elbow where the blood sample was taken from. “So, how are my vitals?”

“We still have to send samples to the lab, those results are going to be done in a week so come over next Thursday for them,” says Amélie casually, looking at the papers on her clipboard. “But other than that it seems like that vegan diet is keeping you healthy! Is there anything else you’d like to mention? Any pain, weird smells or strange stuff growing on your skin?”

Emily giggles but shakes her head. Then it seems like a thought flashes through her head and she puts her finger up.

“Well, there is one thing but I…” she says nervously, her eyes dropping. Nobody says anything for a few seconds so I clear my throat.

“I can just leave the room and let you talk to doctor Amélie in private,” I say.

“No, no,” Emily says quickly. “It’s just that I’ve been having some painful cramps. I’m going to my doctor in Zuzu City to get it checked out, so I didn’t think it was necessary to mention it here.”

My body tenses up in concern. “How long have you had these pains for?”

Emily looks away, “About a month or so. I… sorry for not telling you, Harvey. I’ve just had a bad experience with male doctors and these kinds of topics.”

I can feel the tips of my fingers stinging. She’s been in pain for a month but couldn’t tell me? My own patients can’t trust me? What kind of an image of myself am I putting out there? Before I say anything, Maru interjects. “Emily, there’s nothing to be sorry about,” she says, her voice sweet and calming.

“Yeah, I’ve worked around those kinds of doctors, ones that don’t take their own patients seriously. They make me sick,” Amélie adds, spitting out the last word. She then places a hand on my shoulder, and I notice that I’ve been shaking. “But Harvey here is the kindest person I’ve ever met. Besides Maru, of course,” she says and Maru laughs, blushing. Emily nods her head in agreement. It’s not personal, I repeat to myself. I feel my shoulders dropping, swirling thoughts leaving my head.

“You shouldn't apologize. I’m so sorry you’ve been in pain, Emily. And you always have Maru to talk to if you can’t say stuff to me, I understand.”

“I know, I know… And now that I think about it, Harvey is the first doctor I truly feel safe around,” Emily smiles, her big eyes looking up at me. Maru and Amélie nod in agreement, pampering me with kind words. I feel myself blushing. The three of them move on to the front desk to talk about their upcoming trip to the Calico Desert and the visit of Emily’s friend Sandy.

I decide it’s my time to leave so I say my goodbyes and remember that I still need to ask Elliott if he wants to come along to Zuzu with me. Emily’s words still follow me. A voice still tells me that maybe her silence was in part due to who I am. I mostly keep to myself, I’m not chatty and it still feels like I haven’t truly settled into this town. It might be hard for my patients to talk to me, because I don’t feel like one of them. Do the residents still see me as an outsider? I truly wouldn’t blame them if they did.

I knock on Elliott’s doors but I receive no answer, so I search for Willy. The old sailor is standing on the dock, collecting his crab traps and carefully putting his rod away. He tells me Elliott went over to Leah’s, so I thank him and head on over to her place. I get a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. I’ve never noticed how much time the two of them spend together. Did I miss out on all the obvious signs of them being a couple? Are they dating? But, even if they are, why would that bother me? Besides, I think, standing in front of Leah’s modest cabin, it’s only normal to spend time with your friends.

I knock.

Chapter Text

“Who is it?” I hear Leah’s voice call out.

“It’s me, Harvey,” I say and hear muffled noises on the other side. A second later Elliott’s voice echoes from the other side: “Come on in!” I twist the door handle and the warmth of the inside fogs up my glasses instantaneously. I step in, shapes barely visible through my fogged up lenses. I take off my glasses to clean them off.

“I didn’t want to intrude so I won’t stay here for too long. I was just looking for Elliott because of this thing. You see, I have to travel to-”

As I put my glasses on and look up, my voice cuts off. Before me is Leah’s couch spread out into its bed form. And slouching on the spread out couch is Elliott, his bare chest out in the open.

I stutter embarrassingly, Elliot obviously noticing the way my voice faded out and nothing but a smug smile engraved on his face. There’s only a white sheet covering his lower body and I drop my head while muttering nonsense apologies underneath my chin, my entire face and neck piping hot. Well, my shoes look very nice today. And the floor, did Leah do anything to it recently? Perhaps polished it. It looks so clean and shiny. Amazing! Floors these days…

Leah can barely hold in her laughter. “Harvey, it’s alright! I just needed a model to pose for me for this painting,” Leah manages. I peel my eyes off the ground and look towards her. She sits behind her easel and is covered in oil paint. Elliott’s loud laughter is filling the entire cabin. “Sorry for the uncomfortable situation, my dear Harvey. However, the look on your face was absolutely priceless. There’s the idea for your next painting, Leah!” he says which makes him laugh even harder.

I breathe in deeply to keep my eyes off of him. But it doesn’t work as I instinctively look towards him. His face has gone up several shades of red, the laughter making his whole body tremble. The lack of the summer sun is visible on him, his pale body complimenting Leah’s white sheets which cover his… lower area. There’s slight ginger hair on his chest, and I catch a glimpse of freckles on his shoulders which run off towards his back. He’s sprawled out on the couch and one of his legs hangs lazily off the side while the other one bounces on the couch. His hair falls over his eyes in a delicate way, as if it’s made out of feathers. He brings his well defined arm up and runs his coarse hands across his face, wiping away tears from laughter.

“I’m so sorry about that, Harvey,” Leah says, breathless.

“Yeah… no problem,” is all I muster. Besides the embarrassment, I don't feel offended. Just an awkward situation. They happen to everyone, right?

“You were saying something? You’re travelling somewhere?” she asks and I snap back out of my stare. I pray to Yoba she hasn’t noticed my foolishness but even if she has, she doesn’t comment on it.

“Yes! Yes, umm…  I have some business to attend to in Zuzu City so I have to go there on Saturday.” I can feel Elliott’s stare piercing through the back of my head. “Business, you say?” He remarks in a cold tone.

“Maru’s okay with it,” I try to reassure him, doing my best to make eye contact. It appears to be a difficult task considering the lack of clothing on him. My eyes keep glancing over to the hairs on his chest. “She’s only okay with it if you come along, Elliott. She wouldn’t let me go otherwise.”

Elliott’s eyes light up and he sits up straighter, the cloth slipping dangerously close to his stomach. “I never thought you would never ask! Oh, my! The Feast of the Winter Star is approaching and I have shopping to do. Zuzu City looks wonderful this time of the year.”

“Too many shiny lights for my taste,” mentions Leah and then raises her eyebrow. “Hey, all three of us are from Zuzu City! We’re like some kind of metropolitan musketeers…”

My head twists towards Elliott quickly. He hasn’t told Leah about the… merman thing? If he hasn’t told Leah, who he’s so close to, has he told anyone else? Well, besides me. Could it be that I’m the only one who knows his secret?

He glances back at me and shyly smiles. I see mischief in his eyes and perhaps a tiny sliver of panic. We share a moment of understanding, something like an unsaid giggle. He truly hasn’t told anyone else. Well, at least he’s not alone in his secret anymore. It makes me wonder how there are all these different people who know him and who are his friends yet none of them know about this secret of his. Besides me, of course. I feel butterflies fill up my stomach and I fight to maintain a neutral face. Elliott peels his eyes off of me and slips into a different version of himself.

“There are never enough shiny lights, if you ask me," he says and Leah rolls her eyes but smiles, focusing on her painting again.

Elliott turns towards me again, slightly red in the face.

“I very much look forward to Saturday then.”

Chapter Text

I leave in a daze, my mind still processing what just happened. The clouds leave little of the afternoon light trough and my nostrils fill up with the smell of snow. I can hear the faint “moo” from inside Marney's barn, where the cows are enjoying the warmth of the inside. The cold becomes real for me then and I decide to take a shortcut to the clinic through Parsnip’s farm. As I approach the entrance to the farm, I hear noises coming from the lake down in the forest. I cast a look towards the lake and see Shane approaching with Jas hopping before him.

“Shane! Jas!” I call out and they spot me, Jas falling back to walk shyly behind Shane. Shane’s eyes seem… lively? He raises a hand in a greeting.

“Harvey, how’s it going? Jas and I were just building the biggest snowman.” Jas peeks from behind Shane’s legs.

She clears her throat. “It’s a snow girl, Shane. And Doctor Harvey, is it true that your hands can turn blue if you play in the snow for too long?”

I crouch down into the snow. “Well, you are wearing your mittens and warm clothes like I told you to, so there’s nothing to worry about.” She nods her head quickly and then squints her eyes at Shane. “I told you so! We didn’t have to stop so early, Shane!”

Shane gives me a mean side-eye.

“Actually,” I say hastily, “it’s not hands that turn blue but your feet. That’s even more dangerous because you can’t see them.”

Jas’ face immediately fills with panic and she starts running towards Marnie’s ranch, all the while looking at her boots.

I stand up and sigh. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.”

“She’ll be alright, besides, we’ve been out all afternoon. Even I am starting to get blue feet!”

I push Shane lightly while he laughs.

“You seem to be in a good mood. How did the thing with Parsnip go?” He chuckles and drops his gaze, looking down at his boots.

“It’s- It’s… mutual. It’s always been.” This fills me with unexpected happiness and the weight of not knowing the outcome disappears. I wasn’t lying when I said it’s got to be mutual, but there was still uncertainty in what the answer would be. Sometimes Parsnip is unpredictable. The more I get to know them, that becomes less and less true.

“Oh, Shane. That’s wonderful! I’m happy for you, I truly am.” I come closer and put my hand on his shoulder. He looks at me, his face slightly red but filled with so much joy. “You deserve this, you really do.”

“Thanks, Harvey. I don’t know what I was so afraid of.” He smiles and shakes his head.

“So, are you now officially a couple?” I ask, Shane burying his hands in his pockets and furrowing his eyebrows. “Well, not really. We’re taking it slowly I guess. But I’m fine with that. You can’t just rush into these things.”

“I agree. So that’s why it took you two years to confess…” We both laugh, Shane rolling his eyes.

He hates to admit it, but he’s got a gentle heart. When he’s committed, he’s committed. I remember when he moved in two and a half years ago, in mourning and newly in custody of the little Jas. He doesn’t talk much about the time before coming here or what exactly happened to Jas’ parents. From what I gather, he was friends with them throughout college and supported them when Jas’ mother got pregnant unexpectedly. He says they were great parents despite the circumstances and how honored he felt when they asked him to be the godfather. He just thought he’d be buying the best toys for his goddaughter and being the clown at her birthday parties. No one expected the accident, and Marnie was quick to offer him to stay with her. I know he’s been drinking to cope with everything but recently, I see him less around alcohol. It gives me hope things are getting better.

“Oh, are you going home? Where even were you?” Shane asks, confused.

“I was just at Leah’s. I have to go to Zuzu City on the weekend so I asked Elliott to come along. Don’t worry, it’s not work related.” I say before he can object. He raises one of his eyebrows, doubting me. “Well, okay. But Maru’s fine with it! And Elliott will be there with me so I expect a lot of shopping and going through bookstores.”

Shane laughs and we start walking towards Parsnip’s farm.

“So, Elliott, huh?” I look at Shane in confusion.

“‘So Elliott’ what?”

But he doesn’t explain, just chuckles at my face. What’s so funny?

“I guess things are going well for both of us…” He says and refuses to explain. I choose to ignore it, but something tells me I know what he’s talking about.

Chapter Text

“Look at you, your forehead is all wrinkly. Calm down, your parents will love me!”

And I have no doubt they will. They will have a grand ol’ time. But it will get incredibly awkward for me.

Elliott and I are in the borrowed Mayor Lewis’ pick-up truck, on the road to Zuzu City. It started snowing in the morning, great big snowflakes gluing themselves onto the windshield. As we get nearer to the city, the snowflakes get smaller and quicker. I spent most  of yesterday being, well, excited for today. I read a book, made myself some soup and attempted fixing a drawer that squeaks every time I open it. That’s how bored and nervous I was. I guess I was, or still am, nervous about the trip in general. I just hope everything goes alright. And that I don’t embarrass myself in front of Elliott. I don’t know when I started caring about what he thinks of me.

In the afternoon I decided to give my parents a call, announcing my trip to the city. Both of them were ecstatic when I mentioned that a friend was tagging along. They wouldn’t let me hang up until I promised them I would bring him over for dinner as well. Elliott was over the moon when I told him he was invited. Is everyone here in on some cruel joke against me?

“I know they will, that’s not the problem, Elliott,” I say, quickly glancing over to Elliott in the passenger seat. He’s got a book in his hand that he’s reading and is completely sprawled out in his seat. He is wearing an emerald green wool sweater and dark brown chino pants. Part of his ginger hair is tied back with a bow, yet some of the strands still escape the neatness and give him a softer look. I look back onto the snowy road.

“They always ask weird questions and know exactly how to embarrass me,” I say, sighing.

“Ah, but that’s just how parents are, isn’t it? You have got to meet my mother one day. She would find you fascinating.”

“Sure, just don’t take their comments seriously, my dad is going to exaggerate a lot. And if you start feeling uncomfortable we can always just leave right away.“ We’re behind a particularly slow truck. My head turns to Elliott, who’s still engrossed in his book.

“What do you mean fascinating?” He looks up from his book out onto the snowy road and sighs dreamily.

“You know… A human from above the sea. My mother is intrigued by your kind. She used to tell me stories of sneaking to the shore to watch fishermen getting ready in the early morning. She’s never been above the water, so anything from here gets her excited. When I was leaving she was so happy…” I don’t see his face but he hesitates and his voice loses its cheerfulness. “The last time I visited she thought I was done with my travels and ready to return. She didn’t take it well when I told her I was planning on staying above longer.”

We sit in silence for a moment, radio playing a Feast of the Winter Star ballad. The truck squeals and exits the highway as we pass a Zuzu City sign. Before us, the city starts taking shape.

“It must’ve been tough for both of you,” I say quietly. “Guess a similar thing happened to me and my parents when I was leaving the city. They thought I would get a job somewhere closer. It makes you feel guilty for leaving but it would make them feel guilty if you stayed.”

He sighs but sounds more cheerful. “I haven’t thought about it like that.”

“When was the last time you visited?” I ask quietly, leaving enough room for him not to answer. He looks straight ahead at the buildings popping out of the fresh layer of snow in front of us. We drive slower as the fields around us turn into suburbs and the suburbs turn to buildings.

“Exactly a year ago,” he says. A year ago? So that’s how I found him. Argument as turbulent as the sea on that day. I stay away from thinking of other possibilities of what could have happened if the tides didn’t deliver him to the beach. My heart feels a thousand times lighter yet it beats even faster now. I want to know more.

“Was that when I found you?” From the corner of my eye I see that he nods at that. A moment later he lets out a sad chuckle. “Funny that, in my mind, it was always me that found you.”

Laugh escapes me but it’s sweet and it catches him too. It feels so strangely light how we dance around this topic. Like finding out a boulder on your shoulder weighs less than a feather. I guess it gets lighter when you have someone to share the weight with.

“Then I suppose we found each other,” I say as we pull up into the warehouse’s parking lot. I turn to him and offer him a smile. He smiles back and both of us silently agree not to mention the mist in both our eyes.

We take our coats from the backseat and  exit the truck. The icy wind hits us at once and I pull up my scarf to protect myself from the wind. He pulls his coat tightly around himself. “Let’s get this over with, I don’t want you thinking about work for another second!”

We walk across the frosted parking lot quickly, shielding our faces from the cold. The warehouse is situated in the more industrial part of the town. If it weren’t for the fresh snow the entire place and the surrounding building would just look like a grey blob. There are a few other cars in the parking lot but other than that there is no other sign of life. The glass front doors are covered in different printed out messages, from the opening hours to some kind of announcements.

I grab for the doors but they don’t budge. Confused, I pull at them but they do not move. Elliott looks at me sideways and then towards the opening hours.

“My, it seems like they’re closed today!” I look at the announcement and it’s true. I cup my hands over the glass doors but all the lights are off inside. There’s nobody there. Defeated, I turn to Elliott.

“But Maru said the pick up is scheduled for today. That’s strange… Well,” I say, turning back towards the truck, ”I’m going to have to drive back here then, if you’re not feeling up for dinner tonight then we could go back to town right away,” Elliott makes a funny face at that.

“You mean to drive hours back to the town and then do the same thing tomorrow? Ridiculous! This is a perfect situation!” he exclaims. I shake my head. “Perfect situation? What do you mean?”

He turns on his heel and starts making his way back to the pick-up. “We’ll spend the night here! One day in Zuzu City is never enough time anyways, there is just far too much to see.” The clouds are still heavy and the cold air persists, but the snow has stopped for now. Elliott is taking big, fast steps towards the truck and I struggle to keep up.

“But- but what about the- the truck? And where will we stay? I didn’t bring any clothes! What about Maru? I have to tell her what happened and-” I crash into Elliott’s back as he stops dead in his tracks. We’re in front of the truck. Elliott turns around towards me, rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

“Harvey, Harvey, Harvey…” he grabs me by the shoulders, his serious green eyes doing strange things to my breathing. “I have absolutely no idea.”

We stand there for a second or two in complete silence. His expression cracks and he laughs then, his laugh echoing in the barren parking lot. I laugh along too, a little nervous but also… slightly excited. Elliott’s head is hanging low as he laughs and shakes his head. He lifts it up and gives me a comforting look.

“You’re always so worried, it must be so tough on your nerves. But Harvey, here you don’t have to worry. Not with me. I won’t allow it,” he says it so confidently that I believe it.

“Well, I can’t just stop worrying completely,” I say and notice his warm hands are still on my shoulders. “Of course not,” he says, “if you didn’t worry about everything at least a bit you wouldn’t be the sweet-old Harvey! Now, unlock this truck because I’m starving and you simply have got to try this stew I stumbled upon some time ago.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Did you just call me old?” We both laugh as we sit in the truck. He’s right, I shouldn’t worry. I’ve got him and if I’ve learned anything so far it’s that we make a great team. Besides, the work can wait if I get to spend extra time with Elliott.

Chapter Text

The presence of Elliott in my old childhood home is… strange to say the least.

After the pick-up mix-up we drove over to the restaurant near the city center to have some of the stew Elliott would not stop talking about. And I have to give him some credit here, the stew really was that delicious. I told him so, which made him grin in a I-told-you-so manner but it didn’t bother me much since I was way too focused on the stew to care. I managed to use the restaurant’s phone to call Maru about the mix up, who profusely apologized about the ordeal and offered to come get me. She calmed down when she heard I’d be staying the night in the city, since Elliott says there’s so much to do and see here. She wished me a nice vacation and I could practically feel the look she was giving Amélie (who I know must have been there in the office with Maru because of the hushed comments and giggling). When I returned Elliott had paid for the food which made me wonder where he got his money from and then we talked about his gambling career back in the days when he arrived on land.

We walked to the city center where the winter market was full of sparkling ornaments, hot cocoa, various wines and cheeses and even an antique book stand. I went and got us some roasted hazelnuts while Elliott was chatting with the owner of the book stand and when I came back he had a parcel with him but refused to tell me which book he got. He helped me pick out some presents for my parents and then I snuck off to the antique book stand to get a present for Elliott. Did I get a copy of “The Little Mermaid” because I thought it was funny? Perhaps, but the owner of the stand assured me it was a great classic and I know Elliott likes those. We looked for a place to spend the night but found nothing so far. Elliott assured me we’ll happen upon something later on. The short day was already giving way for the evening when we sat back in the truck and drove to the outskirts of the city to visit my parents, now armed with bags of gifts.

“Oh, I do know that restaurant! Their stew is delicious!”

“It is simply the best. Harvey, it was great, wasn’t it?”

We’re sitting at my parents’ round dining table eating an entire feast they prepared. I look at Elliott who’s sitting across me, nestled between my mother and my father.

“It was, I really-” before I can finish my sentence my mother turns to Elliott.

“Of course he liked it, I bet he hasn’t had any homemade food in years,” she says teasingly.

Elliott covers his mouth to finish the piece of the roast he’s chewing on. “But the stew could never compare to the soup you made.”

“Oh, you flatter me too much!” she giggles, waving her hand.

“Well,” he Elliott continues, “no wonder Harvey has high standards for the quality of food.”

My father leans over to Elliott, all three of them squished together. “How is the roast, Elliott?”

“I was going to ask, how you got the meat to be so tender. But I could not get a word in because I cannot stop eating it!”

This makes all three of them laugh. I stare at them, dumbfounded. It’s been months since I’ve last seen them and years since I’ve… well, brought anyone home. Not to make it sound like introducing them to Elliott is a big thing, but the bond the three of them instantly formed is fascinating. And a little bit scary. My mother has been flashing me her oh-he’s-handsome eyes the entire time, while my dad keeps nudging me in the ribs.

“So, Elliott,” my mom says, wiping the corner of her mouth with a napkin, “how did you and Harvey meet?”

All three sets of eyes fall back on me, making me choke on my bite slightly. I cough and Elliott begins to speak which pulls the attention back to him.

“It is quite simple, really. I moved to Pelican Town about a year ago and I suppose the low temperatures surprised my immune system. I had a fever so horrid I could not get up from my bed. Thankfully, my friend Leah knew Harvey and asked him to come see me,” he looks towards me then, and I hurriedly nod. He is a fantastic storyteller. “I-uh, came as soon as I could. Prescribed him some medicine and it didn’t take long until you got better,” I add. A sad smile flashes on Elliott’s face.

“You humble yourself too much, Harvey,” he says. “He came to visit me every single day until I got better. Even though he was so busy with work.”

“Yes, of course. I didn’t want you to be all alone.” I didn’t want to be all alone. He looks at me and I feel like he can see through my soul. It’s both terrifying and comforting.

“Oh, Elliott,” my mom breathes out. She looks over to me, her eyes glossy. “Harvey, you never told me about this.”

“Yeah, sorry. I didn’t want to upset you.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, son,” my dad chimes in. “Well, I’m glad you two met even if the circumstances were not ideal!” My mom nods in agreement and smiles. Maybe I should talk to them more. No, I definitely have to talk to them more. I want to keep them updated on my life and learn more about theirs. It’s been too long and they’ve been wonderful at giving me all the space I need, but I want to be there for them from now on. Elliott breaks the tension by talking about the new resident doctor and both my parents ask  a million questions. 

An hour later we’re all nestled in the living room in front of the fireplace. My father is showing Elliott his collection of literature and Elliott is eating every word up. I’ve never seen my father speak more than he is tonight.

“Are you two spending the night in the city?” mom asks. I nod. “Yes, we’re going to look for a hotel afterwards. Elliott wants us to try looking for something a bit outside the city, every place here is fully booked.”

“Oh, nonsense! Why don’t you just stay here?” she asks.

“We don’t want to intrude and-”

“You won’t be intruding at all! Your father and I are leaving tonight for Ginger Island, we’re going to spend the Feast of the Winter Star there. We didn’t know whether you’d be visiting so we booked the trip a few months ago. But please, be our guests! Oh, I should’ve cleaned up more.” She says hurriedly and I shake my head. I can feel a blush creeping up on my face.

“Thank you, but I don’t know if Elliott is comfortable with that,” I say and she looks over to where Elliott and dad are talking. In the same moment, Elliott turns to us with a grin on his face.

“Harvey, great news! Your father just offered that we stay here for the night. We don’t need to look for a hotel! How marvelous is that?” My mom chuckles at that and gets up. I laugh in disbelief and get up as well. Elliott here, staying at my childhood home. A year ago I would never have imagined that. I didn’t even know his name back then. And now he’s standing alongside my parents, his eyes filled with excitement. I walk up to them. It feels so normal. So much like home I forgot I had.

“Now then, tell us more about that Ginger Island trip. I hear it’s wonderful this time of the year!”

Chapter Text

We wave to my parent’s car that just left for the airport as we stand outside the house, letting the cold air soothe over us. 

“Huh, it stopped snowing,” I remark and Elliott looks up and nods. I turn to him. “There’s always a big tree set up in a park nearby. Do you want to go check it out?”

He smiles. “Of course, it’s such a pleasant night.”

And it truly is a pleasant night for a walk: there’s a tradition in this neighborhood where each house sets up a tree outside on their lawn and each year it gets more ridiculous. Even my parents set up a pine tree covered to the last needle with ornaments and rainbow fairy lights wrapped all around it. Other houses go even further: one house filled their entire lawn with star-shaped lights, with the biggest and the brightest one being at the top of their tree. Elliott laughs at one of the lawns with an underwater theme: “I’m not sure we have dancing sharks down there, but I appreciate the creativity!”

We end up in a park decorated with fairy lights and oversized candy canes. I point to one as we walk past it. “Eating this will definitely give you cavities.” Elliott chuckles at that.

“Always thinking about medicine,” he says. “Say, why did you go into medicine in the first place?”

I think about it for a few steps. The faith festive music is playing somewhere in the park. “Hmm, well at first it was because I wanted to help people. But as the years in college went on, I realized I needed another reason to stay. I dreaded working with the patients. If I just wanted to help people, why didn’t I just go into researching illnesses behind closed doors? Besides, when the time came to do practical work in the hospital, my first patient threw their food tray at me!” I laugh at the memory but Elliott looks shocked.

I quickly continue, trying to explain myself better. “I was terrified, I wanted to drop out on the spot! I told all this to Doctor Judy, who asked me: ‘Well, if you are terrified, imagine how the patient feels?’ And that just stuck with me. Of course she had the talk with the patient to never attempt that kind of a thing ever again, and the patient apologized profusely. But she was right, they were confused and scared and angry and on top of that, the hospital was sending a student to talk to them. They felt degraded. I stayed with them and carefully listened and by just doing that they felt so relieved. So, I guess that is my reason, I wanted to be the doctor that would actually listen. The thing is, you don’t need a big reason to go into medicine; what you need is the reason to stay.”

I continue walking forward, feeling all jittery inside. Did I talk for too long? Will he think I’m a bad doctor for this? I look back to Elliott who has slowed down and is looking at me. His eyes are so tender and his hair is loose, gently swaying in the cold breeze.

“Oh, Harvey,” he says, his voice slightly coarse, “that is so wonderful. Thank you for telling me.” I chuckle and push my glasses up on my nose, my eyes looking at anything but him. “Thank you for listening. Oh, we’re almost at the tree.”

And after a few steps we step into the clearing. There’s a pine tree as tall as a house in the middle of the clearing, people gathered around it. A soft yellow glow from the fairy lights bounces off the surrounding snow, covering the whole area like a warm blanket. The ornaments are shaped like blue stars and they lull in the breeze. The chatter of the people and the festive music fill our ears.

“Wow, I’ve never seen one this big. They really went all the way this year,” I say with admiration and look over to Elliott. His eyes reflect the thousands of soft lights making his eyes sparkle. He’s so beautiful like this. He’s always so beautiful.

“This is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen,” he says and then spots something across the clearing. “Oh, my! They are serving mulled pomegranate wine. Harvey, do you-“ but before he can finish his sentence I pull my wallet out and start heading in the direction of the stand. “Already on it!” I shout and hear a laugh behind me.

It’s already very late when we get back home. We’re tipsy and everything feels fuzzy inside.

“I think,” Elliott begins as we stumble inside, “if it weren’t for that wine we would’ve frozen completely.” I chuckle as I increase the temperature on the thermostat and take off my wet boots.

“You can go take a shower, I’ll give you something to change into.”

“Harvey’s old pyjamas, my, that’s quite an honor,” he jokes and puts his hair up in a bun as he heads for the bathroom.

He takes his time and after he’s done I go in. He’s wearing my old blue striped pyjamas and somehow manages to wear them better than I ever did. After I’m done I go back into the living room and I spot him standing by the fireplace.

“So, about the sleeping arrangement-“ I begin but before I continue I notice he’s holding something in both hands.

“Hey,” he says softly, a big goofy smile on his face. “Happy birthday, Harvey!”

I stand there, confused.

“What?”

“It’s past midnight, it’s your birthday today. Right?” He says, a bit of worry in his voice. It’s the 14th today, isn't it? It’s already been a year since the last one. Oh, how the time flies…

“I,... yes. I guess it is,” I chuckle. “I must have forgotten about it, with everything else going on. How did you know?”

He breathes out in relief. “I’m glad it is. That would’ve been embarrassing! Leah told me some months ago. And I’ve talked to your dad about it. They wanted to bring you along on the Ginger Island trip but they thought you wouldn’t want that. Their gift is probably in the Pelican Town by now, they mailed it some time ago. Speaking of gifts,” he says and holds both his hands out. One of them is holding a bottle of spiced blackberry wine and in the other a book.

“Oh, Elliott. You didn’t have to,” I must be smiling from ear to ear as I go to take the gifts. He must have gotten this at the market today. The wine looks expensive and very tasty. “Wait, did you get me this book?”

He chuckles. “I thought it would be amusing. And it is a good classic!”

I take his copy of ‘The Little Mermaid’ and laugh. “I actually also got you this as a present. Now we have two copies!” This makes us laugh. Afterwards, Elliott insists we eat some of my mom’s cake in celebration, even though I say our old bodies will not enjoy all that sugar at this hour. Nevertheless, we end up sitting in the kitchen and eating the delicious carrot cake with forks straight out of the tray. Hours pass like that and in the end we go over to the couch in the living room to continue talking. As the beginning of the sunrise starts filling up the room with the bluest of the lights, we doze off, my cheeks red and my whole body at ease.

I think about my last birthday and the memories don’t seem to scare me as much as they used to. I hadn’t slept the whole night and my head felt heavy. I kept spiraling, thinking about all the ways in which I was inadequate and worthless. How I didn’t belong here or anywhere for that matter. When the morning crept up I walked to the beach. I didn’t quite know why but I felt like I needed to be there. The sand was crunching beneath my feet and I sat down right there, watching the sun slowly rise on the horizon. The soft lull of waves calling to me. I felt so tired. So stressed. And I couldn’t see how it could end, how all this pain would leave me. I wanted to cry but I felt hollow on the inside. And I was angry at my friends: how couldn’t they see I was suffering? Why didn’t they help me? Yet, it seemed like it would be so embarrassing if they did know. Like I would have to carry the shame of them knowing forever. I didn’t want their help. I didn’t deserve it.

And then, I saw him.

I know now that I used all the work as a distraction of the actual problem. Spending time with Elliott and getting to know him soothed the pain for a while but what about when he’s not around? Or when he’s around and I can’t get out of the spiral of thoughts? This holiday has done wonders for my health but what about when I go back to work? There was no point in hiding from the problem any longer: I had to do something about it. I needed help.

And this time, I’m not afraid to ask for it.

Chapter Text

I hear a seagull screeching in the distance and the icy sand crunching under my feet. The beach gets replaced by my parent’s living room as I wake up from the dream. I blink away the remnants of a dream, but the pleasant feeling from it remains. Muffled light from the cloudy sky comes from the tall windows in the living room, filling it up with the softest of the glows. I feel well rested. Well, apart from the slight headache building up in my frontal cortex. At least this time it’s not from stress but from the sweet wine.

At the other end of the couch, Elliott is snoring quietly. One of his legs hangs over mine and I suppose this is how we fell asleep after the never ending conversation. I smile and this moment fills me up with peace. My head feels lighter than ever as I head to the kitchen to make us some coffee.

I love that he’s here, I love that we get to spend all this time together. The realisation comes to me easily then as I’m brewing the coffee: I’m falling in love with Elliott.

And I could just prescribe that feeling to me being lonely and wanting some company. I know what it’s like wanting to escape the loneliness, the desire to be close to someone and to spend time with them. But I can also fight loneliness by hanging out with Shane and Parsnip and Maru, by going into the saloon and absorbing the warm atmosphere of that place. This is not just about not wanting to be alone. I want to be with Elliott on purpose. He’s kind, he’s funny and so creative. We spent the whole night talking and it wasn’t nearly enough. And what more reason do I need for wanting to be with him? Isn’t just this feeling of peace when I’m around him enough?

I’m done making coffee when I hear him get up and shuffle over to the kitchen. His hair is sticking out in every direction and his eyes are half open as he walks in.

“Harvey, I think that was the best sleep I’ve had in ages,” he says slowly and sits down at the counter, grabbing onto the coffee mug for some warmth. I chuckle. “That mulled wine did wonders. I slept like a baby,” I say. We share a look and smile, sipping on our coffees in comfortable silence.

“Thank you for the coffee,” he says, lifting his eyes up to meet mine, “and thank you for taking me along for this trip. I’ve had such a wonderful time.” I set my mug down and smile at him. He looks truly happy, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Slowly, my hand moves over to cover his. “Elliott,” I start, sincerely, “thank you too, for all of this. I mean it. I can’t remember the last time I’ve had so much fun.”

He drops his eyes on where my hand is on his. He smiles even wider then just as he takes my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“I wouldn’t mind doing this more often,” he says.

“I’d very much like that,” I say and clear my throat. “Hey, I don’t know how to say this. I was thinking, we’re friends. And you’re one of my closest friends, so I- what I wanted to ask,… Uh, I can’t make it not be awkward,” I mumble and feel myself blushing already. Yoba, asking someone out is never not weird. But asking someone out when you’re my age adds an extra layer of silliness to it.

He quirks an eyebrow at me. “Harvey, are you trying to friendzone me?” I shake my head quickly and wave my other hand in defence.

“No, no, no! The opposite of that, actually! I’m sorry, now it’s even more weird,” I say and by this point my whole face must be red. Elliott stares at me for a moment and then laughs. We both burst into laugh then, and it immediately cuts through any tension in the air.

“Well, of course! I was getting worried you weren’t going to do anything about it!” He says and I realise our hands are still linked. I squeeze his hand and he squeezes back, relief filling up my heart. “You see, that wasn’t so hard?” He says and I laugh.

We take our time finishing our coffee and then we slowly get ready to go out. Picking up the medicine feels like no task at all, now that my heart is lighter than air itself. And once it’s done we find a quiet restaurant with the most amazing fish stew, where Elliott tells me all about the migration of fish. Even such a topic is the most interesting thing ever coming from him. His hand finds mine on the table and it feels just right.

The ride home passes by in a quick blur of singing along to winter hits and counting mountain tops. But there’s a slight sinking feeling in the bottom of my stomach, feeling sad that this trip is now just a memory. And the uncertainty of what the future holds. I’ve talked to Elliott about me going back to work but working less hours and he cried out in joy. I can’t help others if I’m not taking care of myself. And I’ll be going back to the town once a week for my therapy appointments. But what I’m looking forward to the most is just spending time with Elliott. The fact that I get to watch us grow alongside the coming seasons. It’s never going to be just winter anymore.

The sun is settling gracefully over the mountains as we drive into the Pelican Town, heading straight for the clinic to drop off the boxes. I notice all the lights are off and there doesn’t seem to be anyone in here. Maru and Amélie must be out, I think as we drive the truck back to mayor Lewis’.

“Maybe Maru and Amélie are at the saloon, we could go check it out,” Elliott suggests.

“Perhaps, but I wouldn’t want to bother them,” I say but Elliott shakes his head. “Nonsense, they probably want to hear all about the trip. Besides, if they’re not in we’ll just get a glass of wine!” I laugh and we head over to the saloon. I should also meet up with Shane and Parsnip some time this week. But all I can think about now is the warmth of Elliott’s hand in mine.

“Elliott, what plans do you have for the end of the year? We could organise a party and invite-“ but my words die in my throat as the doors swing open and everyone in the saloon jumps out and shouts “Happy Birthday, Harvey!” at the same time. Maru and Amélie laugh and throw paper confetti on me, while Parsnip and Shane walk out with a giant chocolate cake. I’m suddenly being hugged by Leah and Emily, Gus and Lewis shaking my hand firmly while saying their best wishes. “What- why is everyone here?” I manage, looking over at Elliott. He wraps his arm around my waist and laughs.

“To celebrate your birthday, of course! After we found out that we had to stay in city for the night, I got the idea of a surprise party. I called Maru who instantly agreed and she and Amélie organised everything! Isn’t it just perfect?” I look over to Maru who’s grinning as she looks at us, clearly pleased.

“I don’t know what to say. Thank you all so much,” I say and feel my eyes welling up. All of this, for me? Maru pats my shoulder affectionately. “Of course, Harvey. I’m so glad you like it.” Amélie takes both my hands and laughs, “The confetti were my idea, Maru basically took care of everything else. Isn’t she amazing?”

“She is,” I chuckle, wiping my eyes. “Are you kidding me? This is the best birthday ever!” Shane then clears his throat, and I look over to him.

“Well it would be, if we could finally eat this cake my wonderful partner baked.” I look over to Parsnip next to him, who is beaming from joy. Shane’s entire posture is different, as if all the weight is off his shoulders.

“Oh come on, Shane,” chuckles Parsnip, “you ate like half of the frosting already.” We all laugh at that, Shane rolling his eyes with the widest grin on his face.

“Alright then,” Elliott shouts, taking my hand once again, “let’s eat!”

And just like that, all the puzzle pieces fit together.