Archive of Our Own ^beta

Sean: “Did Paul ask you to see it first or was it your idea?”

Kyle: “Well, we both thought I needed to watch it first. The thing is that he had read about me—He knew about my past and he had listened to my music, obviously… and he thought that based on my own experience I could write something, you know… something that could represent what he was trying to say and what the characters go through.”

Sean: “I guess he thought it would be somehow easier for you.”

Kyle: “Yes, absolutely. But, the truth is my story is different from some of the things that you see in the movie—I didn’t want to write a song about the story itself. I thought that if I did that, the song could be too similar to some tracks from my first album and that’s not what I wanted because that wouldn’t be fair to the film… to Paul’s characters. So, yeah, hopefully when you listen to the song, you think about the movie and not about my previous work.”

Sean: “So, was it easier or more difficult to write because of that?”

Kyle: “I’d say it was harder but just because when I write a song… especially now… I do it because I enjoy making music. Because I pretty much need it to function, you know? But doing this wasn’t just about me. Somebody else I admire was trusting me with a project and I wasn’t sure that I wouldn’t fuck it up somehow. Letting him down was terrifying… not coming up with anything good... I could totally feel the pressure. At the beginning it was nerve-wracking.”

Sean: “You’re very exigent with yourself, aren’t you?”

Kyle: Kyle laughs. “I am. Yeah, I’ve always been and that can be… not that great sometimes… I do have a tendency to second guess a lot of what I do.”

Sean: “But you overcame the pressure...”

Kyle: “Yeah. eventually, I did.” Kyle snorts. “This song is not about me as I said, but it has some things to do with what my parents went through, so I called them and we talked a lot. Not that I didn’t know how they felt before that conversation but I think it was good to hear them say it out loud—‘Void’ is the result of a lot of things and yeah, that talk... some of the lyrics are certainly inspired by that conversation.”

Sean: “Talking about your parents, you invited them to the premiere in New York, didn’t you?”

Kyle: “Yeah, I did." Kyle smiles. "They hadn’t been to New York in a while and as I said, they were involved too in a way… plus, my dad loves Colin and I knew it would blow his mind getting to meet him. The picture they took together is probably framed on his night table as we speak.” Kyle laughs. “But seriously, they loved every minute of it… and it was good to catch up in person for a change.”

Sean: “And your family… were they always supportive of your career? How do they feel about your fame? I mean, they don’t have anything to do with showbiz, right?”

Kyle: “Yes,” Kyle nods. “They’ve always been very supportive. When I was a teenager and all I wanted was to be a singer, I freaked them out," Kyle laughs. "So, they made clear that I needed to get a degree before giving this a try. As you said, they keep me grounded. My younger brother is a writer—he works on TV series at the moment and my older brother is a neurosurgeon but he was modeling for years... so yeah, I think they understand some aspects of what I do better than other people."

Sean: “You don’t get to see them very often, I guess,” Sean shakes his head.

Kyle: “No, not as much as I’d like to but I try not to stay away for too long. When I’m not on tour or promoting an album, I usually get a flight back home and disconnect for a while, but Levi and I recently got a new house in L.A. and we also spend a lot of time there.”

Sean: “You know that there was a lot of speculation when Levi didn’t accompany you to the premiere in New York.”

Kyle: Kyle snorts, shaking his head. “I’ll say that I try to stay away from social media as much as I can… but yeah, my agent told me the next day, and of course, that kind of thing... I don't understand it—”

Sean: “Can you stay away from social media? Is that really possible?”

Kyle: “Well, I try and I think you can up to a point. I need to keep my fans updated about what I’m working on and I try to interact with them sometimes, but I’m not obsessed with it. I don’t like people to know what I’m doing every day or where I am unless I’m on tour or it has to do with my music.”

Sean: “What about Levi? Can we talk about him for a moment? You’ve always posted pictures with him.”

Kyle: “Yeah, he’s my boyfriend and I realized that if paparazzi and other people were gonna be sharing pictures of us anyway, I’d rather do it myself and be able to choose what I want to share… and he does exactly the same.”

Sean: “So, is that also the reason why you decided to be open about your relationship? Because of the press?”

Kyle: “That was a part of it, yeah, but not entirely. While I was still on the show and we were working together every day, it became really hard trying to hide it. We knew people would find out sooner or later and besides, I knew what my family would say.” Kyle shrugs.

Sean: “Not everybody cares about what their family think.”

Kyle: “Yeah, I know. I suppose these are people who take them for granted and they just don’t care… but you know, that’s not me.”

Sean: “So, I guess your family wasn’t surprised when you left the show to focus on your music.”

Kyle: “Yeah, they knew that acting was never my goal. I studied drama too because I liked it and it turned out that I wasn’t that bad at it…” Kyle smiles. “So after Juilliard, I kept writing songs and played wherever I could but I wasn’t making any real money although at least I found who is still my agent—and she kept sending me to auditions here and there and that’s how I ended up getting a few guest parts.”

Sean: “And ‘Finish Line’? How did that happen?”

Kyle: “That was just another audition at first… My agent didn't tell me it was for HBO and I didn't know who the showrunner was... I guess she didn't want me to be very disappointed if I didn't get it; she just told me that role required doing some singing—“

Sean: “Just some 'cause you did a lot of singing in the show?”

Kyle: “Yeah, because it was supposed to be a small part in three or four episodes.”

Sean: “So you had to sing at the audition?”

Kyle: “Yeah, that was part of it. I brought my guitar and everything. The next day they told me I got the part—Everything happened really fast.”

Sean: “And you were supposed to be just in a few episodes? I didn’t know that.”

Kyle: “Yeah, at first it was a small role. But the fans' reaction was mind-blowing... At least I never expected what happened, and the writers had more ideas for my character’s arc, so they decided to keep me for the rest of the season.”

Sean: “So, you think it was all this shipping between your character and Levi’s that kept you on the show,” it’s a statement, not a question. “How did you first find out about that?”

Kyle: “Well, I was more on social media back then but it was actually Ilya, my younger brother, who called me after my second episode aired—He was all excited, and freaking out because apparently, the fans were totally shipping Brian and Vernon and let's say that he was totally on board too...” Kyle grins.

Sean: “And you didn’t expect that to happen?” Sean frowns.

Kyle: “Well, I didn't know what to expect. Vernon was a very different character from my previous roles. I knew he was very well written and I hoped that his relationship with Brian would be well received but obviously, you never know what's gonna happen.”

Sean: “And why do you think that people loved that relationship so much?”

Kyle: “I think... I think they just felt very real. The writing made sure they were relatable—They were both flawed and went through some messed-up stuff but in the end, they always found their way back to each other. Although, most of all, for me, personally… I love that each character was interesting on their own and they had their own storyline that let each character grow... So yeah, even if Vernon started as a love interest, he wasn’t just that and I think the fans really appreciated it. And of course, they are so different…” Kyle snorts, “they have these opposite personalities… people who shouldn’t work together but they actually do and so, you’re rooting for them not to fuck it up,” Kyle laughs.

Sean: “I must tell you, something I’ve always loved about you is how open you’ve been about your bisexuality and I think I’m not the only one who wonders if you knew that about your character when you auditioned.”

Kyle: “No, not at all. When I auditioned I didn’t know much about the character. It wasn’t until I was cast that I found out more about him but to be honest, I wasn’t sure if it really mattered since my involvement in the show wasn’t supposed to be that long and the only relationship he was going to have was with Levi's character. So, I figured there was a chance that it wouldn’t really come up.”

Sean: “I wonder, why do you think that bisexuality is hard to label? Or harder for people to accept than being gay?”

Kyle: “That's hard to answer… but I don’t really see images of bisexuality as being out there as much, you know? It’s usually... bisexuality is almost a word that’s used as a cover to say like, ‘oh, I don’t really want to admit that I’m gay… so I’m gonna say this other thing…’”

Sean: “Do you think Vernon helped to change some people’s attitude? Because I really think he did.”

Kyle: “Thanks, yeah. For sure, I think he helped. At least the feedback I got is that he did. I think the way they wrote his sexuality in the series was very smart… it wasn’t some cliché that we’ve seen before many times and there was nothing toxic about it…”

Sean: “Yeah, exactly… what everybody in the lgtbq+ community said that it was a representation we had not seen before. You must have felt very proud.”

Kyle: “Yeah, of course. Not only that, I knew that a bisexual playing a bisexual was a new thing when it comes to television. It obviously felt important… It was like ‘wow.. we can actually play ourselves on TV’... It was great.”

Sean: “I’m sure you’ve been asked this before but why did you decide to leave the series? I’m sure some people told you you were crazy for leaving such a popular show. Obviously, your fans weren’t happy.”

Kyle: Kyle snorts. “No, they weren’t… and I can understand it; the thing is… I don’t want to sound ungrateful because there’re so many unemployed actors out there… but I missed my music and it was depressing me. Everything around me was about the show all the time for two years and there was this day when I talked to a friend back home, and he asked if I had written any song lately, and I realized I had not touched my guitar in three months and I couldn’t remember the last time I had written anything…”

Sean: “Seriously?” Sean raises his eyebrows.

Kyle: “Yeah, I worked on a couple of projects during the break between both seasons, so I had been working non-stop since the first season and it started to feel wrong… I mean, I loved the job and loved working with that cast but I couldn’t get it out of my mind… I went to sleep and I kept thinking ‘what are you doing? Why aren’t you doing what you’re supposed to be doing?’—It was tough. That’s why people judging my decision hurt at the time. Because it really wasn’t easy.”

Sean: “Of course… And how does one decide to take a step like that?”

Kyle: “Basically my family told me I was being stupid,” Kyle laughs as he remembers. “I went home for Christmas and of course, I told them and you know, my parents respect my decisions but they’re brutally honest… They can see through my bullshit like nobody else and so, I don’t know, I guess I made a formal promise to do something about it and when I came back to the show I told them I wouldn’t be coming back for season three.”

Sean: ”Did Levi support your decision or did he also think you were crazy?”

Kyle: “Yeah, he got it. Maybe he also thought it was dumb but he supported me nonetheless. He never tried to change my mind, and maybe somebody else could have tried, you know? But he’s not like that.”

Sean: “Would you ever come back if they asked you or is it a closed chapter?”

Kyle: “In a way, yeah, it’s a closed chapter because I’m so busy with my music right now... Plus, I’m not sure that there could be a good reason for Dylan to come back and the way he left feels perfect to me… so, I don’t think that it could work. But I mean, that’s how I feel about it… who knows what might happen. It’s not in my plans, that’s all I can tell you.”

Sean: “By the way, I wanted to tell you that the first time I saw one of your live shows I had no idea why there was someone using sign language on stage with you. I’ll be honest, I was very surprised. Then, I read somewhere that you know ASL because of your family, right?”

Kyle: “Yeah, my younger brother is deaf and I learned ASL soon after I was adopted. And it’s like, the deaf community is constantly forgotten… I see it all the time and if I have the chance to do something about it… even if it’s just a small gesture… of course, I’m gonna do it.”

Sean: “I’ve seen different people talking about it in the media, so I don’t think it’s such a small gesture. I think it tells something about you that goes beyond your music, you know? I feel like it has transcended what’s merely musical—”

Kyle: “Thanks. I can say that it’s been amazing. Lots of people have reached out to me because of that and it means a lot. It has exceeded my expectations, that’s for sure… but at the same time, that’s not why I did it, so it bothered me at first that somebody could have the wrong impression.”

Sean: “Do you really think that could happen?” Sean frowns.

Kyle: “Oh yeah, it could have happened. Social media can be pretty wild. There’s been bad blood for other reasons… especially with those who don’t know anything about my personal life… People just judge you for whatever reason. And I mean, I know they think it’s their right because you’re a public figure but there’s a limit... Or there should be a limit.”

Sean: “Absolutely.” Sean nods. “Okay, I know you have a busy schedule and you have to go but can you tell us anything about this thing I read the other day about you collaborating with P1Harmony?”

Kyle: Kyle smiles, “Oh I can tell you that it’s true and that it’s happening once this world tour is over.”

Sean: “Because they are on tour in the States at the moment—”

Kyle: "Exactly, they are over there right now."

Sean: “So you are gonna write for their next album, right? How did this happen?”

Kyle: “Well, I’m a huge fan of them… I’ve been for many years—"

Sean: "Right, you made that acoustic cover of 'Butterfly' that went viral a couple of years ago."

Kyle: Kyle nods, smiling. "True—Yeah, they’re brilliant singers, composers, performers… that's why they're selling out arenas wherever they go—So, honestly, I don’t really think they need me for anything,” Kyle laughs. “But they happen to like my music too—Got in contact… asked if I’d like to collaborate and I didn’t think twice about it because firstly, I’m too flattered to turn it down, and secondly, I know that whatever I come up with, they’ll just make it their own, you know? They’ll bring their Korean magic...” Kyle smiles. “Plus, they’re all really nice people too—I know it’s gonna be lots of fun.”

Sean: “I can’t wait to see what comes out of this partnership,” Sean smiles. “Thanks so much for coming today.”

Kyle: Kyle smiles, "thank you for having me.”