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Tord knew full well he wasn't the best at processing his own emotions, hell, every one of his roommates knew this. Sometimes, it would take hours of him feeling angry for it to finally hit him that he felt angry, but at least then he could recognize the emotion.
So what was this?
Automatically he assumed it was disgust but...
No, that couldn't be right.
He's felt off for days, if not disgust, he next assumed he was ill. The possibility of illness certainly checked out with what he was feeling;
a rapid heartbeat at random times, sudden fevers, brain fog, the list went on.
It felt smothering. It was uncontrollable, and god only knew his only constant desire was control, he had no room for anything else on his mind.
Ruling out disgust, maybe someone gave him a cold? Or the flu? Tom doesn't work, neither does Edd, they wouldn't have been able to be infected in the first place, let alone infect him with anything.
He has been getting close to Matt lately... matt has a job... would he really be that reckless, though? Matt of all people allowing himself to get sick? It wasnt realistic, there was no logical solution.
Tord shook his head, realizing he'd been gripping his pillow as he sat on his bed trying to think. He set the pillow down behind him and followed after it, staring at the ceiling. The feeling was back again, his chest felt heavy and he swore he could hear his heartbeat in the silence of his room, which had suddenly increased in temperature. He had to find the solution to all of this soon, it was driving him mad, he hated feeling as soft and weak as he does, if it was illness then there should be a way to cure it as soon as possible.
With that he left his room, on a beeline to the kitchen in search of antibiotics. Even if it was, possibly, a mild case of the flu, it was nothing a bit of medicine couldn't fix, after that his problems would be dealt with and this whole predicament would be over. Tord pulled his hoodie over his head as he walked so he would at least look decent instead of going out in his boxers, the split second his eyes were covered by doing so caused him to crash into something in the dark hallway. Flinging himself back in shock, he tugged the rest of the fabric over his head and freed his hands in case it were an intruder. Was he going to be murdered? All of the defense planning he's done for his roommates's safety, gone down the drain just because he dared put on a hoodie in the dark? There was a hand on his shoulder, god, this was it. This was the end.
"Tord," He heard his name, "You need to calm down." He hadn't realized he'd been panting, the sudden voice making his heart beat faster.
Tord cleared his throat and spoke, albeit raspily, "Matt, why are you awake?" His heart was still pounding, probably from panic on top of his illness. Tord tried to blink in the darkness, he never had the best vision in the night, unlike his near-nocturnal roommate, who also happened to be a vampire, as one normally is. Matt stood across from him, bending down ever so slightly to get a better look at Tord. As Matt was a vampire, he was given the gift of night vision, which manifested similarly to an animal by developing an extra reflective layer in the back of his eyes. The two shining dots in the darkness were reasonably unnerving to Tord, yet he found himself almost comforted by them, Matt's eyes glittered at him as if they were the flame of a candle, like a pair of fireflies.
His roommate spoke once more, with the expected level of enthusiasm Matt always seems to carry, "Oh! Well... I'm not sure if you noticed but my sleep schedule's not working with me recently," Tord had noticed, he remembered hearing noises from the kitchen all of last week early in the morning, "but luckily I've found out that I can just stay up and do whatever I want instead of forcing myself to try and sleep when I can't!" Matt spoke with a smile, he sounded like a 10 year old who was left home alone and took control of their bedtime. Matt continued, "I've been baking a bit while I wait for myself to get tired.." he trailed off, pausing for a moment before speaking softly, "was that what woke you up? Oh dear, have I been too loud? I'm sorry, I can quiet down if needed!" Matt continued talking, not leaving any room for Tord's actual response, the latter of whom had been standing there sleepy and confused himself. Tord forgot about his real reason for getting out of bed, instead just staring back into Matt's now-worried gaze, speechless.
"Tord, are you alright?" Matt's voice returned, still soft like honey on Tord's senses. Tord's breath wavered a bit before nodding, immediately apologizing for his silence.
"I'm, um," he faltered, "I'm alright, I think I may be a bit sick... I came to the kitchen for some medicine." Tord tried to reassure Matt, he knew how Matt felt by believing he were at fault, "You didn't wake me up, just not feeling well is all." Matt lit up again, moving his hand from Tord's shoulder to his wrist to bring him further into the kitchen.
Tord's heart skipped a beat.
Matt brought him close to a chair and then went to the cabinet on the other side of the kitchen, not visible to Tord under the lack of lighting, "Why didn't you say so! I'm glad you bumped into me then, I'm probably the most qualified out of everyone here," Matt paused once more, speaking a bit louder, "no offense to anyone of course!" He forcefully clarified, making Tord snicker. Matt worked as a nurse in the local clinic, his job gave him enough blood to consume as a vampire and enough gossip to consume as... well, Matt.
Tord could hear clattering from the side of the kitchen Matt was on. The weight on Tord's chest had seemingly doubled, his breaths felt labored and the room felt hot around him, he considered taking off his hoodie but only remembered how indecent that would be halfway through pulling it off. Almost as if on cue, Matt returned to Tord, who was now sitting on a stool holding his head up with his hands on the kitchen island.
"I brought something to check your temperature, just put it under your tongue, okay?" Matt reached out from across the island, cupping the side of Tord's face in his palm as he prodded the machine at Tord's lips. His face immediately burned up, causing Matt to bring the hand on Tord's cheek up to his forehead. "You're burning up really bad... you are wearing a hoodie too," Matt added with concern, pulling at it lightly, "you should take this off, especially with your temperature right now." Tord shook his head rapidly, taking the thermometer out of his mouth.
"A-Actually I think I'm doing better, I could just try and sleep it off, really!" Tord insisted, taking deep breaths one after the other, he set the thermometer on the counter and pushed himself up.
Tord then fell backwards onto the kitchen floor, forgetting he had sat on a stool with no backing.
Matt rushed around the island, cautiously asking if Tord was okay before reaching out to pull him up, the latter lying on the floor silently. After getting no response, Matt grabbed his hands and attempted to pull Tord up himself. Tord gasped, being hauled to his feet and then some by his taller roommate, he tried to steady himself to avoid crashing into Matt once again. He was panting again, staring in Matt's direction in the darkness. Tord's stomach tickled, he stood frozen in Matt's grasp as the two continued to stare at eachother. To Tord, he felt as if his entire life was put on pause for this moment as he attempted to process what he was feeling, his confusion and concern peaking all at once.
To Matt, Tord just seemed incredibly sick, and this concerned him far more than it should.
There was a long pause before they both began to speak at the same moment.
"Your hands are warm-"
"-Should really be getting to bed"
They paused again, flustered.
"I'll, uh, escort you to your room," Matt insisted, never letting go of Tord's hands, "you can't see in the dark as well as I can... and if you feel more ill by any chance then I'll be there to help." This time, Matt waited for Tord's response, which the latter gave as a small nod, not being able to find his voice for a real response. Matt led Tord to his room, carefully bumping his legs into his bed so he could feel where he was, Tord then sitting down on the edge of it. The taller one of the two then let go of Tord and began to walk around his room, "You always comment on how dirty my room is," Matt spoke softly, "it's like you aren't aware of how dirty yours is, huh? How dare you project onto me!" he chuckled, trying to lift the mood. Tord just exhaled through his nose, smiling, but not enough for Matt to see, even with his enhanced sight.
"At least I'm able to walk around in mine, one point for me." Tord played along, getting more comfortable on his bed as he listened to Matt walk around his room, trying to pinpoint where he was. Tord was greeted by weight at the end of his bed, along with Matt's glowing eyes falling back on him.
"Are you feeling any better? I know it's a bit early to be asking but..." Matt spoke in a whisper, trailing off his sentence to an eventual silence. Matt cared a lot about Tord, seeing him this sick absolutely broke him, but he felt as if admitting that to Tord would be frowned upon. He scooted himself closer to Tord on the bed, this time Tord didn't move, though his heart pounded regardless as if preparing him to run far away.
"Yeah... yeah, I'm doing a bit better," Tord nodded, finding himself unable to look away from Matt's gaze, which became more visible as Matt opened the shutters that were formerly keeping the moonlight out.
That was a mistake, now Tord couldn't look away for sure.
In the moonlight, Tord could see Matt's face clearly, his eyes were gentle and his eyebrows bent with worry, the dim outdoor glow fell upon him like a sheet, highlighting his perfections. Though he felt ill, Tord also felt at peace with the company in his room, his nerves were soothed with the cool air flowing into the room, yet his face remained hot. Matt continued to stare at him, he hadn't picked up on Tord's blushing, even in the light's assistance. Matt was always Tord's favourite out of his roommates, they were always the closest, but at the moment all of Tord's thoughts went solely into wanting to become closer with the man in front of him. He needed to become closer with Matt. For once, no other desire took over his train of thought.
He hadn't noticed how much closer Matt had gotten to him, they were almost touching, leaning into the other with an unspoken trust, an unspoken appreciation.
Tord couldn't help himself, he moved into Matt with a gentility that was unexpected from someone like him. Their lips touched and for a second Tord finally felt okay, he no longer felt sick, he no longer felt worry, his problems were solved and he wanted to savor the moment as long as possible.
That was, until, Matt pulled away.
"I'm sorry-" Tord interrupted, shoving himself back against the wall his bed was pushed up against. Matt sat across from him with his hand over his mouth, the moonlight showed the shock on his face, making Tord's heart plummet. Matt blinked a bit, exhaling softly and then looking back up at Tord, who looked at him with the same worry that Matt had portrayed just seconds earlier. Matt couldn't read him, Matt wasn't the best at reading emotion, so the action took him by complete surprise. That wasn't to say he didn't like it, his face was flushed and pupils blown from the tiniest kiss. Matt cared about Tord more than he realized, he always had, Matt was always the one to bandage him up when he got hurt, he was always the one to comfort him after fights with the others. It wasn't a surprise that Matt had eventually developed feelings for Tord, even if Matt was unaware of them.
Tord lied against the wall, covering his face with his hands in shame, which the tallest gently lifted away, placing them on his own cheeks. Matt leaned in and kissed Tord on the lips like they had done before, this time remaining there for a little while longer before pulling away to meet eachothers gaze. Tord swore his heart stopped midway through, he couldn't feel anything, he just felt light. He felt happy.
"Matt," Tord whispered, trying to hide the edge in his voice, "I think I like you." He spoke mostly for himself rather than as a confession, thinking aloud and coming to his final conclusion. The emotion he had been feeling was love.
Matt did nothing but laugh, and even that was as delicate as Tord felt in the moment, "I would hope so, after that." Matt smiled, pulling himself closer into Tord and letting himself lay against Tord's knees, which were pulled to his chest as the latter had not yet moved from the wall. They were frozen together in time, nothing else was of importance aside from each other. Tord continued.
"I think I've liked you for a while, I must've since highschool." Tord was too busy piecing everything together to notice Matt going in for another kiss, which he responded to with a slight jump before melting into Matt's arms, the latter pulled away.
"That long? I must be pretty important to you." He teased, brushing one of his hands through Tord's hair, earning a light nudge from the latter in appreciation. Tord stammered, still incredibly flustered, still confused.
"I'm not sure how you couldn't be important to me..." He trailed off, voice getting softer, "but I'm not sure what all this means. It's late, what if I'm not thinking straight? What if I am sick and it's just getting to my head? What if-" Matt cut him off with a snort, dramatically wiping a fake tear as Tord settled down.
"You're over-complicating it, silly." Matt sighed, propping Tord's pillows up so he could lie down and gesturing to Tord to do the same. "You shouldn't have to worry so hard about this, there's nothing more to worry about, I'm not going anywhere." Matt's voice was calm, immediately flooding Tord with the same sense of calmness, "We can deal with it in the morning, the only thing you should be worrying about right now is getting some rest, I suspect you've been though a lot."
Tord did nothing but nod and roll into Matt's warmth, who greeted him by wrapping his arms around his back. Tord's problems were solved, he got the answer he needed, even if solving it with medicine wasn't a part of things in the end.
Tomorrow, they would greet the day together.