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"Limbo Fitzgerald, after taking into account your mental state, I hereby sentence you to twenty-five years in prison for the first degree manslaughter of Navid Reynolds.” The moment the judge’s gavel hit the surface, I could hear the sobs of my family. I could see my sister cry in the gallery, but I couldn't feel anything.
Isn’t it funny, Teuta? Usually, people can feel like their life is over once they hear their sentence. But I don’t feel anything. I don’t know what justice is anymore.
My world felt black and white. There wasn't any color. It seemed so… bleak without you.
I could have argued for my innocence. I killed him in self defense. Crow was frantic and telling me something about an odd substance in my body after the reports, but I wasn’t in a state to listen. I’m sure it mattered, but I didn’t care enough to argue for my innocence.
What would it matter? Would it bring you back? Would the ache in my heart disappear?
Your name was mentioned a few times. Whenever I heard it, I could only think back to my cowardice. I wish I had told you how I felt. I wish I held your hand for just a little longer. I wish I could've stopped you from going out that day.
Hey, hey Teuta, do you remember what we said during breakfast that day? We thought the worst was over. We were going to plan a little date afterwards, and maybe I would finally be able to tell you how I feel. I would’ve taken you out to eat first, and then maybe we could watch the sun set on the bridge.
I wanted to do so much with you. I wanted to see you smile more. I wanted to hear your laugh again. I wanted to watch your brows furrow as you struggled to write a report. I wanted to solve another case with you. I wanted to…
I wanted to hold you one more time.
So why did you have to die on me, Teuta? Why? Why didn’t you tell us? I always thought your time traveling stories were too good to be true, but… why didn’t you believe in me? Why did you choose to die?
You promised you wouldn’t die on me. You promised you would keep on living. You’re not allowed to die. You were a part of our crew, you were a part of our family, you were a part of me.
Ah, it was my own justice that got you killed, isn’t it? If I never ruined their lives, if I never acted out according to my own values...
The crooked lawyer got what he deserved, isn't that right Teuta? This was the least I could do for you. This was the least I could do for anyone.
As I'm led out, I see Crow out of the corner of my eye. I think he’s crying, his face is red and puffy. Normally I’d be touched, but I can only look him in the eye.
"We'll get you out, Limbo! Okay? Cmon, we can overturn this…" There's tears rolling down his face, as he tries to gulp down a sob.
Helvetica comforts Valerie, while Shu and Mozu only look at me with a sympathetic look.
But what would any of you understand?
I chose this hell. I chose to lie in this bed.
My own sense of justice led to this path.
-----
“Well, your sis is planning on appealing your case.”
Shu lights a cigarette. The prison guard standing watch tries to lecture him, but Shu only ignores him.
Limbo sits across from Shu, in a bright orange jumpsuit. But there’s an empty look in his eyes, like he didn’t hear Shu at all. The lights flicker above them, but neither of them say anything.
Shu can only sigh. “Even after seven years, you don’t want to talk.”
The only sound in the room is the squeaking under Shu’s chair. These visits always went like this. It was his turn to tell Limbo, because Valerie couldn’t take seeing her brother like this.
“Well anyway, if you keep on acting like this I don’t know if your sister can do much. Helvetica says it’s going to be a tough appeal.”
Limbo only stares at the ground.
“Visiting time is up in a minute.”
As Shu gets up, he turns to look back at Limbo one more time. “You know, we’re not as close or tight knit as before but, we’re waiting for you to come back.” He doesn’t expect Limbo to react or process what he said, but he just wanted to get it off his chest. Shu knows it will never return to the same happy family without her, but...
It would be nice to get together again.
For their sake, as well as his.