Archive of Our Own ^beta

Careful not to spill any water, Kakeru raised the curtain with one hand and stepped out of the kitchen into the empty floor. The wooden slats whined quietly under the soft steps of bare feet as he slowly headed towards his room, which he had left in the middle of his studies.

Evening had fallen, and the steady patter of rain on the old roof of Aotake was the only sound echoing through the worn building; its residents were either busy with their summer projects or out celebrating some free time. Rainy season would be over soon and Kakeru couldn’t wait to run again without those suffocating coats and feel the wind freely on his face and skin as he ran down the road to Tamagawa with his teammates.

While thinking about the studies he had left to get himself some water, Kakeru patted his hair, still a little damp from the bath in Tsuru no Yu, and approached his room. Earlier he had been lost in thoughts about a study, but now that he had taken a little break, he noticed that the door to Haiji’s room stood a few centimetres open. Curiosity overcame him and Kakeru paused. Then he decided to check up on his captain, who, like him, was probably still working late at night – whether on their running schedule or forgotten homework, possibly both – and maybe he could use some water as well.

Carefully, Kakeru pressed against the door and pushed it a bit more open. Since it wasn’t closed to begin with, he assumed that Haiji was alright for someone to come by and talk to him; and a tugging feeling told Kakeru that Haiji wouldn’t be angry if it was him who came by, although he didn’t quite know where he took that confidence.

Peeking inside, Kakeru spotted Haiji right away as his captain sat cross-legged at his desk in the middle of the room. Despite the summer heat and increased humidity, the familiar green hanten was thrown over his shoulders and framed his figure that was sitting hunched over his mobile phone Haiji held in his hands. He wasn’t moving at all, neither typing nor in the middle of a call, he just stared down at the screen.

Kakeru was about to retreat as it looked like Haiji wanted to reply to someone’s text message, but when the screen went black and Haiji didn’t do anything, he hesitated.

"Ha… Haiji-san?" he said quietly.

A little startled, Haiji raised his head and blinked in confusion. When his eyes found Kakeru’s figure standing in the door frame, his posture eased again.

"Oh, Kakeru. What’re you doing? It’s quite late."

"I was thirsty," Kakeru replied, raising the glass.

"I see." A weak smile tugged at Haiji’s lips and he looked a bit tired as he studied the glass without really looking at it. When no more words followed, Kakeru frowned but remained where he was.

"Did… something happen?" he finally asked.

"What do you mean?"

Kakeru pointed at the phone. "You got a message?"

"Oh." Brown eyes darted down to inspect the black screen as if it was a complicated equation to decipher. "Well…" He tilted his head and bit his lips. "Just… a message from my parents."

Kakeru waited a few beats of his heart, before asking, "Bad news?"

"Not really." Haiji shrugged. "They just asked me to come home."

Hearing this, Kakeru couldn’t help himself but chuckle. "Not really," he repeated quietly, but when Haiji raised an eyebrow, he swallowed the mirth down. "Sorry."

A lopsided smile turned the captain’s lips downwards. "No, it’s fine. I suppose it sounds weird to others when they hear this, right?"

"I understand you, though."

Haiji’s eyes rested on him, but it didn’t make Kakeru uncomfortable. "Yeah," he finally said. "I guess you would."

"Well, at least they asked you to come home. Mine just send me money every month." Kakeru had tried to sound casual, but the words left a hollow feeling in his chest.

"I see." Haiji smiled weakly. "You can’t argue that this is handy as well, but I can understand your twist."

"You’re right, I might be biased."

Haiji chuckled roughly, then he gestured for Kakeru to sit down.

Once settled, Kakeru sipped at his glass and together they bathed in the near-silence of Aotake, only disturbed by the rain and rumbling, that came unmistakably from the twins’ room. The calm wasn’t uncomfortable, since a few weeks – and especially after their training camp – he had come to like Haiji’s presence most when it was just the two of them. It wasn’t only that he slowly began to understand Haiji’s motivation, his many thoughts, the many things that stayed hidden, or the joined enthusiasm to run; Haiji made him feel at ease and Kakeru didn’t want to miss that feeling ever.

Kakeru set his glass down and glanced from the phone in tanned hands up to its owner.

"Will you go?" he then asked.

Haiji shot him a quick glance and fiddled with the device, finger hovering over the button to switch the screen on but not pressing it. "No…," he finally said in anguish. "The qualifiers are coming closer and I want us to focus on training and ourselves, rather than family." Haiji blinked and looked at Kakeru from below. "That… might’ve sounded a bit harsh."

"I know what you mean."

Brown eyes fixated him for a few long seconds during which Kakeru was unable to look away. When Haiji laughed quietly, the spell was broken.

"It’s good to know that there are some people around me, who don’t have the perfect family life of a picture book either."

"Who else do yo– Oh…" Right, Yuki. He nodded slowly, acknowledging it. "Why did your parents ask you to come home in the middle of the year, though?"

Haiji looked at him in surprise. "It’s Obon, Kakeru," he said, and added chuckling, "Even you know about that, right?"

"O–of course!" Kakeru blurted, feeling a little dumbfounded. Haiji didn’t resent him his forgetfulness, but smiled and looked from Kakeru to his phone and back again.

"How about you?"

"Huh?"

Haiji tilted his head. "Did your parents ask you to come home?"

"Oh… No, we’re not that… much into family businesses like paying visits to a grave or something."

"I see," Haiji said without any trace of judgement and nodded slowly.

He was right, Kakeru thought as he relaxed again, they had a similar understanding about these things despite them being different.

"I only remember going to the graveyard when I was a child," Kakeru said quietly, "before I got into running."

Once more, Haiji’s eyes rested on him; calm, soft and observing. "I understand," he mumbled. "It was… similar for me."

"It was?"

A nod. "Well, maybe the other way round. My mother wanted us to go but my father wanted to go to the track field so I trailed along."

Kakeru didn’t say anything but kept his eyes on the other.

"My father set the priority and that was the track; ever was and ever will be."

Kakeru nodded.

"He has a really strong mind and his way of… getting me to come along, too."

Kakeru nodded again. He felt the vague need to stop Haiji from opening up to him since those occasions were rare. But perhaps Haiji had thought a lot about these things, which had impounded until today’s message and he needed to get them out of his system. And Kakeru didn’t want to stop him if it actually helped when he talked about it.

When Haiji’s voice fell silent and he looked thoughtfully at his phone again, Kakeru took the word. "Will you… answer them? That you won’t come?"

Haiji didn’t reply directly, but his brows twitched and then he glanced at Kakeru from the side. "I already did," he whispered and a complex expression held his face captured. There was a strange gleam in his eyes, but his lips formed a grim smile.

"O–oh."

A hoarse chuckle eased the atmosphere again and Haiji nudged Kakeru’s side. "Hm? You seem surprised. Did you want to offer your help? Talk to the ogre for me?"

"Do you mean your reflection in the mirror? That’s called a monologue, Haiji-san."

Haiji stared at him. "Kakeru, did you… Did you just make a joke?"

"Sorry, I–" Kakeru felt his skin heat up and he evaded his eyes. Maybe he had gone too far, he had just wanted to make his captain feel better and–

"No, no, it’s fine. It was… It was great, really." Haiji’s hand found his shoulder. The warmth seeped through the light t-shirt Kakeru was wearing and made him face his captain again. Haiji giggled and small laughter bubbled from his throat.

"You don’t need to force yourself, Haiji-san. It wasn’t that funny and–"

"I don’t!" Haiji laughed fully now. "Kakeru, you joke more often."

Kakeru frowned thoughtfully. "Not sure if I can," he mused seriously, eliciting a smile from the other.

"No need to force yourself."

"You too, Haiji-san."

"Hm?"

"You too, uhm… You don’t… You don’t talk about your parents that often. If you don’t want to talk about them, you don’t have to."

The atmosphere changed a little, but the light feeling didn’t vanish and when Haiji tilted his head and studied Kakeru with a curious gaze, his smile didn’t falter. "What if I want to share this with you?" he said quietly.

"O–oh, then… I… I don’t mind."

"Good to know." Haiji let out a shuddering breath. Finally, he set his phone down on the table and leaned back to rest his weight on his arms and look up at the ceiling. "I think if it’s you," he continued, "I don’t mind talking about myself once in a while."

"What about Yuki?"

"Yuki?" Confusion clouded the other’s voice.

"Because of his mother," Kakeru explained awkwardly.

"Oh, right. But that’s different I suppose."

"How?"

Haiji smiled a little wistful. "It’s hard to explain, Kakeru. Yuki and I talked a bit about our families, but it’s different when I talk to you about it. And… I like this here," he said and nudged Kakeru’s arm, "sitting with you at a table, drinking some…" he studied his mug, "whatever this is and talk about our lives."

Kakeru knew that the heat hadn’t possibly left his cheeks, but he kept gazing at Haiji’s profile, swallowing hard.

"It’s comforting in a way, don’t you think?" Haiji looked back at the ceiling.

"Yes," he replied honestly and quietly.

Haiji smiled widely. When his brows twitched, he turned to look at Kakeru. "Anyway, why are you still up? Homework?"

"It’s summer, Haiji-san."

"That was never an excuse for teachers to not give homework. I still have an essay to write." Haiji threw a glance towards his bookshelf. "One or two," he added, grinning sheepishly.

"I already finished my homework."

"Oh, such a good student!"

Kakeru shrugged. "I just do revisions now. I wanted to have my schedule cleared for running."

"You’re using your head, huh?"

This time, Kakeru did rub his cheeks at the bright smile the other flashed him.

"You still could’ve gone to sleep instead of staying up late. Revision isn’t that important in the middle of summer break."

Kakeru nodded slowly. "After dinner," he began slowly, "Joji and Jota had some questions for Ouji-san about romance or something and invaded his room. They also kept me there for a while. Now, they’re all talking and talking and I thought that doing some official studies would be a good excuse to leave."

Haiji looked at him for a few longs seconds. "Romance, huh?"

Kakeru nodded.

"They just really want the attention of cute girls."

"Or maybe just Hana-chan’s."

"Mhm, true. She has them wrapped around her finger anyway."

Kakeru laughed quietly, but the mirth got stuck in his throat when Haiji said, "You didn’t want to talk about possible girlfriends?"

He tried to study Haiji’s expression, but brown eyes didn’t reveal any other emotion than curiosity.

"N–no, I don’t have a girlfriend."

A chuckle. "I already know that, Kakeru."

"I–I mean, I don’t… want one."

"Oh? So why did they ask you about romance?" Haiji’s eyes gleamed.

"Because Ouji-san gave me shoujo manga to read and the twins thought that I know as much as Ouji-san." Kakeru rubbed the back of his neck. "I don’t," he added shyly.

"I see." Haiji hummed. "Poor Kakeru."

"Thank you?"

"And poor Ouji."

"Mhm."

"But that explains why there’s still something going on," Haiji said and they both glanced up to the ceiling, listening to the dull chatter and footsteps shuffling over the wooden slats.

"I guess we’ll need to wait until they’re loud enough for Yuki to come and put a stop to it."

"I hope he’ll do so soon," Kakeru said. "I would like to sleep a few hours tonight."

"Oh, no problem, Kakeru." Haiji patted his rolled futon behind them. "You can always sleep here."

"Uhm," Kakeru returned, unsure what to say to that offer. But Haiji didn’t laugh and just kept smiling gently at him. At least Kakeru could be sure that it hadn’t been a joke. "Thank you."

"Mhm."

A pause followed and they both listened to the soft stomping and other faint noises from the ceiling, which weren’t necessarily loud yet persistent enough to be noisy. The voices had been much more annoying in Kakeru’s room.

"How do you actually sleep with the twins above you? I can imagine that they get pretty loud."

"Oh." Haiji smirked. "They do know that they shouldn’t be too loud when I want to sleep," he simply said.

Kakeru stared at him, a little surprised at first, but when he saw the mischief in the other’s eyes and remembered the intimidation their captain was able to summon, Kakeru didn’t want to imagine how it had been the very first time the twins had tried to create a ruckus while Haiji was laying in his futon. "I see," he said and Haiji just smiled.

For a minute everything was silent and just the sound of the rain could be heard.

"Did they tell you about the festival?" Kakeru then asked.

"Hm, who?"

"The twins."

"Ah, hm, festival? Which festival?" Haiji looked at him curiously.

"There is a bonfire event on campus to celebrate the end of summer break. There will be some small booths and a barbecue."

"Oh." Something sparked in deep brown orbs. "I remember that they did something like that last year as well."

"Was it good?"

Haiji bit his lip. "I didn’t go," he answered, his voice quieter now.

"You went to your parents last year?"

"No, I…" Haiji’s eyes glanced down at his knee. "I had an… appointment," he explained, even quieter now, and Kakeru understood without asking further.

"I see." He waited a few seconds, before continuing, "Do you want to go this year?"

Haiji’s expression became softer again and his eyes gleamed warm and nearly tender. "Like… as the two of us. Together?"

The sudden insecurity in Haiji’s voice let Kakeru fiddle with his half-empty glass of water. He hadn’t anticipated to be this nervous about suggesting the idea of going together, but now he was and he couldn’t stop his racing heart from thumping against his ribcage, probably loud enough for Haiji to hear.

"If you… don’t mind," Kakeru replied, stuttering. "I mean… There will be others as well, but… We can go… together."

A wide smile breached Haiji’s lips. "I would like that," he whispered.

Seeing Haiji so genuinely happy let the flickering feeling settle into a warm, pulsing glob of sudden confidence and excitement.

"G–great. Me too," Kakeru said and when their eyes met, his heart nonetheless skipped a beat.

"When is it anyway?"

"Next Saturday."

"Saturday, hm?" Haiji picked up his phone again, opened his calender and also fetched the running journal lying on the table.

As he busied himself checking their schedules, Kakeru couldn’t help but smile fondly at the way how meticulously their captain was about their training and keeping everything together. After the incident a few months earlier, Shindou had taken some of the planning off of him, but Haiji liked this work and had repeatedly said he didn't mind doing it. But the team had unanimously decided against it and so Haiji had a little more time for other things, like getting a little more sleep or, well, studying. Kakeru admired Haiji for creating their schedules and making sure each of them stuck to them while he took care of everybody; but it also worried Kakeru as the only one Haiji hadn’t been able to take care of seemed to be himself and thus Kakeru had decided to keep an eye – or two – on the older man.

"I think that should work," Haiji finally mumbled and set down the journal, its dull sound bringing Kakeru back to where they were. "We’ll have the cross country run in the afternoon, but we could go around dinnertime to the festival."

Kakeru nodded. "Sounds good."

Haiji let go of book and phone and turned to smile at him, and Kakeru basically melted under the attention. The gloominess had disappeared from the gentle brown orbs and was replaced by warmth and softness.

Kakeru smiled back and looked forward to going to the festival.

Saturday came.

The weather was still hot and a little humid, but the rain had stopped and for once the thick cloud cover cracked open to reveal patches of sunlight flooding the kitchen in the early morning when they came back from their run. Haiji started making breakfast and Kakeru soon joined him to scoop rice and cut the vegetables. He smiled when he saw how brown eyes were filled with satisfaction as the miso soup turned out well and when their eyes met, Haiji flashed him a happy grin; he even hummed some song while sorting through their spice cabinet.

Once everyone had gathered to eat, they clapped their hands and chatted over rice, soup, and fish. The twins mentioned that they had invited Hanako to come to today’s festival and the rest of the team would join as well, albeit split into groups. There were Shindou, Musa, and King, who wanted to study a bit at the library before heading to the bonfire event. Niko-chan and Yuki had some other errands to do, but promised to meet them later, and Ouji, who would come along with Kakeru and Haiji.

Given the current weather, Kakeru hoped that it would cool down a little until evening. At least the rainy season was over now and it wouldn’t be necessary to carry an umbrella.

When they headed to training, the weather was bearable. The clouds were still thick, but had turned into soft globs in the clear blue sky, and the sun illuminated the green grass that grew to the left and right of the path of Tamagawa they were following.

On their way back to Aotake, Kakeru noticed that he grew more and more nervous. He didn’t quite realise where he was going, blindly trusting his teammates to guide him back home, and before he knew it, he was standing in his room, freshly showered, and unsure of what to wear.

There wasn’t much to chose from – most of his clothes were meant for running anyway – and in the end, Kakeru slid into a simple blue shirt and grey shorts. He stepped out of his room, just when Haiji closed his own door.

"Oh," Haiji said and smiled. His eyes trailed off to take in Kakeru’s choice of clothes and nodded appreciatively. "Looks good!"

"Th–thank you," Kakeru replied, flustered, and looked self-consciously down at himself before taking in Haiji’s brown shorts and a dark green t-shirt, a small bag was slung around his back. "You too."

Haiji’s smile grew even wider. "Thanks!"

They headed towards the kitchen.

"Now, where is Ouji?"

Both of them turned to look up the stairs and as if on cue, the soft steps of the literature major came down the wooden slats that quietly squeaked under his light figure.

When Ouji reached the corner of the stairs, he stopped and looked hesitantly at the two waiting men. "Why does it look like I'm a child being called by my parents to be scolded?"

Kakeru exchanged a perplexed expression with Haiji.

"You won’t be scolded, Ouji," their captain said and Kakeru nodded in confirmation.

A relieved smile ran over Ouji’s face. "I see." He took the last few steps and together they headed to the genkan to slide into their shoes.

Once they were out of Aotake and started to walk down the empty road towards Kansei, Ouji still had a question.

"Are you sure I’m not a nuisance?"

Kakeru turned to look at his friend, who walked behind him.

"What do you mean, Ouji-san?" he asked, noticing how Haiji looked at them from the corners of his eyes.

Ouji shrugged and looked between the two. "You agreed to me tagging along since everybody else had plans already and I was just about to read in my room."

"We’re going at the same time to the same place, Ouji-san, why wouldn't we want you to be here with us?"

"I just…" Ouji frowned, but his calm expression didn’t reveal anything. "I don’t want to disturb anything," he finally settled on saying.

Initially surprised, Kakeru soon caught the meaningful glance Ouji sent him, and blushed.

"Y–you won’t!"

"Awww," Haiji now said, playfully disappointed, nudging Kakeru’s arm. "He won’t?"

"I… I– Haiji-san!"

Haiji giggled. "Come on, let’s go," he announced happily. "The pamphlet said they’ll make yakisoba. I want some before they’re sold out."

And with this their captain walked ahead.

"Are you sure I’m not disturbing anything?"

Kakeru turned to look at Ouji. "I think," he replied carefully.

"He was oddly happy in the past few days."

"Yeah," Kakeru agreed, his mind busy watching Haiji as he walked ahead, his shoulder blades shifting under the soft fabric of his shirt.

"Oh. So you noticed."

"Yes, I–" Kakeru blinked and stared at Ouji. "What?"

Ouji just smiled. "I guess you’re the one who makes him happy, Kakeru," he simply said and followed Haiji’s lead.

Dumbfounded, Kakeru stared at Ouji’s bright hair dancing in the summer wind, and even if he had the chance to say something now, he didn’t know what. So he swallowed it, hoping that he would get a chance to clarify his feelings, or at least put them into proper words.

Catching up to the others, they talked about the results of today’s practice and – after Ouji let out an irritated groan about their discussion of adjusting the pace to the height intervals – about a recent release of a new novel.

When they reached the Kansei campus, they noticed that a crowd had already gathered, waiting at the gate to meet their friends or chatting as they walked down the aisle towards the field where the main part of the festival would take place.

Kakeru watched other students talking and laughing with their friends in the carefree atmosphere that came with the end of the semester before reality would caught them again.

Here and there they greeted friends and classmates, but Haiji didn’t linger too long and walked in determination towards the large lawn behind the cafeteria. A few trees and bushes were scattered around, and there were a few benches to the side where they could sit and watch the scenery from afar.

Most of the students were spread out over the wide area, but some gathered around the barbecue, smaller booths selling different kinds of foods, or helped to set up the bonfire in the middle by piling wooden blocks and what looked like old furniture in a heap. They was even a karaoke booth, but fortunately it was far enough away that the sounds wouldn’t disturb the relaxed mood.

"I thought they would make a firework," Haiji said and had his eyes directed on the people working on the bonfire.

"I guess that’s too expensive, given that students organised this all by themselves," Kakeru explained.

"And quite cliché, don’t you think?" Ouji added.

"Mhm." Haiji hummed. "But I don’t mind, I like bonfires after all." He let his gaze wander around and when he discovered something, deep brown orbs lit up. "Oh! There is the yakisoba booth! Let’s go!"

Kakeru nodded and was about to turn to Ouji and ask him if he wanted to eat some noodles as well, when Haiji grabbed Kakeru’s wrist and pulled him along.

"Let’s go, Kakeru!"

Perplexed, Kakeru looked back at Ouji, who smiled gently. "I will meet the others from the manga club," he said and turned around, lifting a hand.

"O–Ouji-san!?"

Ouji just kept smiling while waving. "See you later, Kakeru."

Having no choice but to let Haiji pull him forward, Kakeru turned to at least walk properly; it didn’t change Haiji's determination to keep him close. Haiji's grip on his wrist was firm but gentle, his skin warm and comfortable. Kakeru wanted to shift his hand so that their palms were touching. His resolve wavered when he realised what it meant and nearly froze in spot.

Once they reached the booth, Haiji ordered the yakisoba and only when he needed to fetch his purse from his bag, he finally let go, leaving Kakeru to mourn the loss of touch.

"Kakeru, what would you like? They have yakisoba and corn on sticks."

"Oh, uhm, corn please. Wait, let me get my purse and–"

"It’s fine, I got it."

Kakeru watched his senpai pay and accepted the paper plate offered to him.

"Let’s find some place to sit," Haiji then said and looked around.

In the end, the two men settled on a bench nearby from where they had a good view on the other students but weren’t necessarily right in the middle.

"Thank you for the corn. I can return the money later."

"No need, Kakeru. Let’s start, yeah?"

"Y–yes."

They clapped their hands, murmured their thanks, and began to eat. Munching on his corn, Kakeru let his eyes wander around to observe the crowd.

"I wonder where the others are," he mumbled, but Haiji had heard him and hummed thoughtfully as he started to search as well.

"Oh," he then said, "I can see Musa."

Kakeru spotted him as well. "Shindou-san and King-san must be close by as well."

"Mhm. Oh, there is the second year from the short distance runners."

"You know them?"

"Of course!" Haiji flashed him a smile before raising a hand to greet to which the second year replied with a nod and a shy smile. "Did we actually agree on a time to meet the others?" Haiji asked, threw Kakeru a quick glance and looked down at his watch.

"Huh, oh, no. We didn’t. We just said that we would meet here, there’s no fixed schedule or anything."

"Sooo," Haiji drawled out and when he looked at Kakeru, there was a slight tinge of pink around his nose. "You just asked me specifically to come with you today?"

"Well," Kakeru swallowed, "yes." He stared down at his corn that was dipped in a sticky sauce, then he raised his head and met Haiji’s soft brown eyes that gazed at him. "W–what?"

"Mhm, it’s okay." Haiji shook his head, but he didn’t stop smiling. "I don’t mind spending time with you only," he added and actually winked.

"O–oh, I see." Kakeru studied at his corn again and although he didn’t really see it, he knew for sure that his cheeks filled with more blood than necessary.

"Ah, Kakeru."

"Yes?"

"You have some sauce there."

Kakeru raised a hand to touch his cheek. "Where?"

A fond expression filled the other’s face and when Haiji lifted his arm to wipe the sauce off Kakeru’s chin, his thumb lingered just underneath Kakeru’s bottom lip. He just thought, paralysed, that Haiji would press it against his lip, when Haiji removed his hand and licked his thumb himself.

Well, not that this move was any better for his heart. Kakeru swallowed again as he stared at the innocent expression Haiji made.

"Th–thank you."

"You’re welcome, Kakeru."

For a moment they continued eating. Kakeru tried to refocus on his corn, but couldn’t help but glance at Haiji, who was chewing his yakisoba with an expression of pure bliss.

"How, uhm…"

Haiji turned his head, still munching. "Hm?"

Unsure whether it was a good idea to bring up this topic again today, Kakeru bit his lip and pondered. It had not escaped his notice that after he had invited Haiji to the festival, the gloomy atmosphere had changed and Haiji had smiled more than usual. However, he wanted to make sure whether the issue was resolved.

"How did your parents take that you didn’t go home for Obon?"

Surprise flashed brown eyes, but Haiji didn’t seem irritated by that question. He cocked his head to the side and hummed thoughtfully. "My father took it best, apparently."

"Why?"

Haiji’s eyes were subdued when he looked at Kakeru. "Because I said that we want to focus on the qualifier. This he understands."

"Oh, I see. And… your mother?"

"She was a little sad, but not that surprised to be honest."

"Oh…" Was that good?

"I guess," Haiji continued, unfazed, "I would’ve liked to hear some more remorse or something. They weren’t that said about me not coming and… It seems like..."

Kakeru nodded to take the heavy words off the other’s tongue. "I understand what you mean."

The dark orbs glanced at him from the side, but Haiji didn’t reply. He nodded once before returning to his chopsticks and paper plate. Observing the tension slowly leaving Haiji’s shoulders, Kakeru let out a breath he had kept, and smiled quietly and only to himself.

They finished their food and spent some time in silence, gazing around and exchanging little smiles with each other.

The pile for the bonfire seemed to be almost done, but as it couldn’t be lit yet, some people had brought small artificial lights and candles to bathe the field in an ambience filled with the soft tunes of music and the slow movements of people dancing to the rhythms of unknowns songs. Most of the visitors stood in groups or chatted as they walked across the lawn, sometimes touching, always smiling.

When the sky darkened and the sun was completely hidden by the cafeteria building, Kakeru spotted Ouji and his friends from the manga club, probably discussing the latest chapter of the sports manga they’ve been into. Musa’s tall figure and King’s gentle smile drew Kakeru’s gaze to them, and he returned the gesture when Shindou waved a hand in greeting. Kakeru was about to suggest walking over to them, thinking that Haiji would like to talk to them for a while, when warm fingers grazed his bare arm.

"Do you want some mochi?" Haiji looked at him, utterly excited, and his eyes were bright and clear. His fingertips ran over Kakeru’s arm and back down to his wrist to wrap around it.

"Uhm, sure, but–"

"They have some over there! Come."

And again, Kakeru was dragged along by Haiji, but the warmth of Haiji's skin seeping into his body eased his suddenly tense muscles, and he couldn't help but smile at the enthusiasm his captain showed at the prospect of getting dessert.

On their way, Kakeru disposed of the stick and paper plates in a bin, and let himself be guided to a booth, where a group of students fried mochi doe over a small open fireplace. Haiji didn’t let go of him even once and Kakeru didn’t want him to; he never wanted to let go of the gentle touch, the secure grip, and shy but growing confidence that this touch sparked within him.

They were halfway across the field when Kakeru’s heart skipped a beat as he pulled his arm a little – just a little – back. At first there was resistance, but soon Haiji let him, and Kakeru could literally feel the other hesitating to allow him freedom of movement. When their palms finally touched, Kakeru slotted their hands together and clasped Haiji's hand loosely.

Satisfied with their new position, Kakeru smiled and walked beside the older man, side by side. Haiji, who had clearly noticed the change of position, did not show it, but as they walked on and Kakeru studied the other from the side, he saw a soft smile dance around Haiji's lips, making his eyes sparkle.

They reached the booth and didn’t wait that long before Haiji could order. He handed the food over to Kakeru and fetched – without letting the younger runner go – a few coins from his pocket to pay.

"Shall we share?" Haiji then asked.

Kakeru looked from deep brown down at the fried dessert and back up. "Sure, we can do that."

"Great," and after turning to the staff, Haiji added, "Can we have two toothpicks?"

"Of course, here you go!"

"Thanks."

They left the booth and Haiji nodded towards the side.

"Let’s go over there."

Kakeru swallowed and nodded. Instead of heading to the benches, they approached a low wall covered with wooden slats to sit on. Once settled, Kakeru stared down at his hands; one palm held the paper bowl filled with warm sticky mochi, the other Haiji’s hand. He didn’t know what to do, but he didn’t want to let go yet; of neither, to be honest.

"We can just put it in the middle, Kakeru," Haiji said oblivious and gestured towards the little space between their legs.

Kakeru put the bowl down and took a toothpick to impale a slightly blackish mochi and eat it. It was still hot, but sweet, and he munched on it in satisfaction. When he took another one, he glanced at Haiji and noticed his relaxed posture and the round cheeks that moved as he chewed. He seemed to be totally unaware of the chaos filling Kakeru’s mind, which had its main focus directed on his fingers wrapped around Haiji’s, and happily watched the crowd around them.

Kakeru chewed on his mochi and when he finally swallowed, he dared to let his gaze wander to their intertwined fingers. Haiji's skin was warm and perhaps a little calloused from the preparation of their meals and daily training, but still soft to the touch and ever so gentle. As Haiji picked up another mochi with his free hand, his arm muscles tensed and Kakeru watched in amazement as they shifted under the smooth, still tanned skin. There were even a few freckles that Kakeru had not noticed before and that had come with the summer wind.

Lost in thoughts and admiring the parts that formed the whole of Haiji’s body, Kakeru tentatively squeezed Haiji’s hand a little and after two beats of his hearts had passed, Haiji squeezed back.

Startled, Kakeru froze up. He lifted his head and stared at his captain.

"Sorry, Haiji-san, I–"

But Haiji smiled. The expression was nearly as kind as his touch and when he leaned closer and nudged Kakeru’s shoulder, he whispered very quietly, "I’m fine," against his ear before pulling back again.

"I’m very fine right now," Haiji said again, tightened his grip around Kakeru’s fingers and looked fondly at their connection.

Something unspoken rested in his eyes but whatever it was, he didn’t say it aloud. Kakeru felt his mouth open. He didn’t want to interrupt this moment, he didn’t want to ask either. He just kept looking at Haiji and saw this raw beauty in him, the lively spirit and the many thoughts running under the surface, which Kakeru could read a little more by now.

Swallowing, Kakeru blinked his dry eyes and licked his lips to taste the sweetness of rice and the faint burnt flavour.

"H–how do you like them?" he finally asked.

Haiji’s brows twitched in confusion. "What do I like?" he replied and the following smirk made Kakeru stutter.

"The mo–mo–mochi, Haiji-san! Geez."

Haiji chuckled and considered the rest of their dessert closely. "I think," he said and looked back up to gaze right at Kakeru, "I like them a lot."

Kakeru stared at him. "Oh," he mumbled dumbly. "They’re… tasty, I guess." He hadn’t reckoned with the chortling sound Haiji made.

"I guess you can say it like that, too."

"Uhm, sorry. Maybe…" Kakeru rubbed his cheek with the back of his hand.

"No need to be sorry, Kakeru."

"No, I mean… I like them too. The mochi. Maybe," he added, frowning himself.

"Maybe?" Haiji repeated and now he looked a bit worried.

Kakeru just nodded. He twirled the toothpick between his fingers, evaded his eyes, and since he felt Haiji’s boring look on him, his cheeks grew even hotter.

"I see," Haiji said quietly after a while, his soft tone full of patience. It made Kakeru glance back at him and their eyes met immediately.

"Maybe you should try some more," Haiji suggested quietly and picked up another mochi. "To find out if you… like them."

"Oh. Y–yes."

"Here."

"I– Oh, mmpf." Kakeru accepted the mochi the other placed into his mouth and chewed it obediently.

"Good?"

Once swallowed, Kakeru laughed but choked. "Could you at least let me finish, Haiji-san?" he brought out, grinning and coughing.

"Sorry, sorry." Haiji patted his back and grinned widely. "So?"

Kakeru licked his lips. "It was good," he said, quieter now. "Really good." He glanced up at Haiji, who squeezed his hand and grinned widely and so, so brightly.

"I’m glad."

They smiled at each other and Kakeru would’ve probably stared a lot longer at the older man, if Haiji didn’t insist to eat the mochi while they were still warm.

But…

He never let go of his hand.

Just as the last mochi disappeared into Haiji's mouth, a familiar voice sounded and they both turned to see Yuki and Niko-chan coming towards them.

"If that isn’t our captain and our ace," Yuki said, grinning.

"Glad you made it," Niko-chan added and waggled his eyebrows, which made Kakeru hesitate.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Niko-chan just shrugged, but Yuki actually kind of responded to the question.

"Wait, are we disturbing something? Is this a date?"

Kakeu searched frantically for an answer, but before he had the right words, Haiji already said, "I guess it’s fine. We already had our sweet time. Right, Kakeru?"

Kakeru could only stare at him, opening and closing his mouth in repetition. When Haiji let go of his hand, he wanted to protest, but every word in his throat was swallowed down when Haiji slung his arm around his shoulder instead to pull him close.

Suddenly, Haiji’s scent was everywhere and where Kakeru had been in awe of the gentle warmth of his palm, it now engulfed his back and shoulder and his whole arm, making his fingers twitch.

Kakeru noticed the other two exchange a glance, but fortunately, they didn’t comment on it.

"Where is the rest? Did you see them?" Niko-chan asked now.

"I can see them. There’s Musa," Yuki replied and pointed at a group.

Niko-chan hummed. "And Hana-chan. And Joji and Jota." He raised his hands to wave the twins and their manager over, who followed the call happily.

"Haiji-san, Kakeru!" Hanako smiled at the two and her eyes trailed from one to the other, in wonder and excitement.

"Hana-chan! Good to see you. I hope the twins didn’t put you through too much trouble to come here today?"

The twins spluttered at Haiji’s cheerful words, but Hanako waved it off and patted the brothers on their shoulders, pacifying them.

"I’m alright, thank you. My father said, as long as the team is around, I’m fine to come here today."

"I’m glad," Kakeru said honestly and smiled at their manager.

Hanako beamed at him, then she glanced at Haiji’s arm around his shoulder. She didn’t ask, just kept smiling, and for some reason this made it even more embarrassing. Yet Kakeru didn’t want Haiji to take his arm off, he didn’t want to not see him smile so widely when they were touching so much.

He didn’t want to be anywhere else right now where the rest of his team started to gather around them.

Musa and Shindou were followed by King who had picked up Ouji. They all stood around them and chatted about the hours they hadn’t been together today, the festival and the food.

"They want to light the bonfire very soon," Musa announced and his dark eyes gleamed with excitement that seemed to ignite the rest of them with anticipation.

"Bonnnn," Joji said.

"Firrreeee," his brother added and they both grinned.

Niko-chan heaved a sigh, but Shindou’s expression stayed thoughtful. "They had some difficulties getting the permission to set it up. But they arranged it after all, I even saw a few teachers, who came to enjoy it."

"I’m not surprised," Yuki said. "Students wanting to make a big fire on campus grounds. It’s good that we’re not involved."

"We would’ve made a great fire!" Jota exclaimed.

"You would probably burn down the entirety of Kansei."

"In that case, at least we'd have plenty of time to run," Haiji replied, sounding far too happy, at which Kakeru raised an eyebrow.

"Longer semester break!" Joji shouted.

"I could work some more," Niko-chan mused, but it was immediately subued by Yuki’s stern look and Haiji’s words.

"No working, Senpai."

Niko-chan grunted something under his breath, but nobody could understand his weak resolve.

"I could use some money," Ouji said now. "The new issue of Shounen Jump will be released next week and I already spent my money on a figurine."

"Oh, is that the famous Kazu figurine that came with the special edition of the Chronicle series?" King looked curiously at the literature major, whose eyes literally sparkled.

"How do you know?" Ouji replied, nodding fervently.

Kakeru watched them exchanging information about press releases and special editions, talking about working and a good sleeping schedule, lighting fires, catastrophes, and studying. When his eyes were sated by seeing his friends happy and satisfied, he turned to look at Haiji.

Brown eyes shimmered and gleamed like molten pudding in the soft light of the young flames of the bonfire the students were beginning to light. Haiji’s arm was still around his shoulder, and from this close, Kakeru could see every freckle around Haiji’s nose, every dimple and the soft wrinkles around his eyes as he smiled a little wider at the banter between the twins.

When Niko-chan shifted, the fast-growing growing flames of the fire became visible, and for a moment Kakeru took in the new scenery. Hungry flames licked at the dry wood, the fresh crackle and quiet whisper of growing strength echoed across the field, and the students who had gathered in a large circle around it grew silent, watching the fire with awe.

Looking at Haiji once more, Kakeru noticed the flickering reflections in his eyes. He was relieved to see that the melancholic sheen had left the deep brown and that the gloomy atmosphere surrounding Haiji like a cloud since the evening he had found him sitting at his desk and hunched over a message had disappeared. It left so much room for a warm spirit to settle, for the gentle glow of a bonfire dancing in his eyes to forge a new path for itself, while the bright sparks in the night sky reflected in the affectionate gaze of brown orbs.

A flicker of those sparks caught Kakeru staring and when Haiji turned his head a little to look at him, the grip of his hand tightened to hug him a little closer.

"Thank you, Kakeru," he whispered, so quietly that only the young runner could hear him.

"For what?" he replied, whispering back.

Haiji smiled gently. "For bringing me here. It was a good idea, after all and…" Haiji let his gaze wander, taking in their surroundings and the people they spent most of their time with. "I like this. I like to be with all of them."

Haiji’s smile widened even more as his eyes closed the circle and looked at Kakeru again.

"Yeah," he sighed, letting his forehead rest against Kakeru’s temple. "This is the family I want to spend this summer with."