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The unit Valkyrie was a peculiar combination of creatures: a cursed being who had long since lost his true soul and the animated doll of his own creation. Humanity was something far from the both of them, yet seemed to be inching closer day by day.
Perhaps they weren’t worthy of air in the past, but slowly, step by step, each breath felt more like it belonged to them, rather than putting them in debt to the universe.
Shu had to come to terms with some things. His past, how he wanted to proceed, and, most importantly, how exactly he felt for Mika.
Mika: his animated doll, his victim, his unit-mate, his partner. He hated how cruel he had been to one as kind as Mika. The boy was having his own issues, but in Shu’s eyes, he was positively blooming into a real and true human.
Shu couldn’t help but admire Mika. He had endured so much. Despite it all, he continued to be at Shu’s side. Any normal person would have left like Nazuna had. And yet Mika remained.
Maybe that’s what Shu was so caught up on, but he felt like there was more.
He’d been having these kinds of… feelings. Sometimes his heart would clench when he looked at Mika. He felt more at ease when he was around. Even when they argued, he realized that it was because they cared for each other.
And when they performed… Shu could see the sparkle in his eyes and the only word he had to describe it was “beautiful.”
After one such performance, Valkyrie had done masterfully. Shu nearly fumbled in a few spots, having used up too much of his brain processes to admire Mika’s form. The amount of practice he’d done ensured a smooth recovery, though. He was partially glad that he lived primarily in France; he could easily see himself becoming very distracted by Mika’s constant presence.
After their time in the spotlight, they were left backstage to wait for the rest of the units to do their performances.
Shu tensed up; people were not his strong suit, and there were plenty to go around with the bustling backstage activities. Mika was readily at Shu’s side, grappling his arm. The boy’s presence helped to ground him in Mademoiselle’s absence.
“Oshii-saaannn,” he complained, “c’n we sit down ‘r somethin’? ‘M dead tired.” Mika dropped his head onto Shu’s shoulder, fully intending to sleep right there if they didn’t move.
He couldn’t help but smile. “Of course. There should be a quiet spot this way.” Shu moved his hand so he could hold the one Mika had snaked around his arm.
Somehow Shu and Mika had found themselves more often physically closer. It ended up more like Mika wallowing on Shu, but he realized that he didn’t mind it. He even found himself being the one to initiate contact from time to time.
The two made their way over to a bench in an empty corridor. A little ways down the hall was some kind of body-shaped pile. Shu couldn’t tell if it was the latest victim of a Double Face plot or if it was just the younger Sakuma passed out on the ground (Not to say that the two couldn’t overlap). Either way, the body was far enough away from the bench that it was decidedly not his problem.
“Careful, Kagehira.” Shu kept Mika stable as they sat down, Mika slightly wobbly from fatigue.
Mika stretched, making an assortment of noises in the process. With a little grumble, he went back to using Shu’s shoulder as a pillow.
It felt strange to admit, but he really did like it when Mika was physically affectionate. Honestly, he liked it when Mika did just about anything these days, which--despite what every single one of his friends said--did not mean he was “down bad”. He just knew how to appreciate beauty when he saw it.
Nevermind how often he felt his heart skip a beat when he was around Mika. Nevermind that their near-daily phone calls when Shu was in Paris had regularly gone for ridiculous lengths. Nevermind that a future without Mika was entirely off the table in Shu’s mind.
Nevermind that Shu found himself really wanting to kiss Mika.
“Oshi-san? Yer bein’ real quiet. Haven't said a word ‘bout how we did. Yer usually talkin’ up a storm by now.”
“Hmm? Ah. I’ve simply been thinking.”
“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” The boy’s eyes were owlish, a casual curiosity in his face.
You , he thought. Well, he couldn’t just say that to Mika.
Actually he could. So he did: “I was just thinking about how beautiful you were on stage. That spin you’d been having trouble on was perfect. Almost everything lined up exactly how it should have. I’d say it was our best live yet, and it's really all because of just how stunning you are.”
“Nnnggghhh, Oshi-sann,” Mika blushed. He looked away and bit his lip. “Y’looked real pretty out there, too. Y’always look real pretty though, so I guess I ain’t sayin much.”
If Shu hadn’t had years of practice at being emotionally avoidant, he was positive that that remark alone would have sent him to another plane of existence. Thinking about it again, maybe his friends were a little right. Wataru didn’t have to be a smug bastard about it, though.
“I could say the same about you, Kagehira. On stage or off, you’re stunning. You’ve grown so much, and you feel so human, so alive. It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful.”
“Oshi-sannnn. Y’don’t havta say all that. It’s unfair fer ya to say all them nice things and then I havta say somethin’ back but I don't got anythin’ to say ‘cause my brain don't work as fast as yers but I just like ya so much that I gotta say somethin’-- ”
“Kagehira,” Shu interjected, cutting off Mika's ramblings. He moved a hand up to cup Mika's face. Maybe it wasn't exactly the best place for romantic revelations, but the leftover adrenaline from their performance had Shu feeling bold.
“You don’t have to say anything. I don’t mind. I think I understand well enough by now. I could be misinterpreting things, but I have the suspicion that I’m not. For me, at least, I am utterly fascinated by you. Your mind thinks so much differently than mine does, but I think we may finally be starting to understand each other. At this point, I can’t imagine a life without you. To be frank, I don’t want to. Of all the things in the world I want, a continued future with you is at the top of the list. If you don’t mind, please allow me to be a little selfish:”
His gaze flitted between Mika's eyes and lips. Taking a deep breath, Shu prepared himself for what he was going to ask.
”Mika,”--his voice cracked on the name--”may I kiss you?”
Mika’s eyes went wide, and for a moment Shu was terrified that he’d misstepped. A soft smile formed on the boy’s face, allaying Shu’s fears. He leaned forward a bit when he finally said, “‘Course you can… Shu.”
Shu’s name had come out in almost a whisper, but it sounded so beautiful coming from Mika. Their lips met in a slightly awkward union of their festering feelings for each other. Shu was nearly overwhelmed with just how much of Mika his senses were taking in.
When they parted,--after a time that was both an eternity and far too short--Mika had the biggest grin on his face. Very cute.
“Y’gonna kiss me like that after every performance?”
“Hmm. Only if you do well enough.” This was a lie. He would, in fact, kiss Mika like that after every performance regardless of how they did. Well, maybe not if they failed miserably, but he couldn’t see that happening in the first place.
“Y’drive a hard bargain, Oshi-san. Guess’ll just hafta keep doin’ my best fr ya.” Mika yawned and resumed his earlier position of resting on Shu’s shoulder. “Okay, ni-ni, ‘m sleepin’ on ya so don't go movin’ ‘round.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He brought a hand up to rest in Mika’s hair. “Rest up, mon trésor,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of the boy’s head.
Mika made a noise and snuggled in closer to Shu. It didn’t take very long for his breathing to even out with a soft snore.
There were things the two of them probably should be doing, but those could be done later. For now, Shu was content to rest here with his favorite person, his partner.
✥﹤┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈﹥✥
That was, until he heard a loud and continuous noise down the hall that sounded suspiciously like his least favorite best friend Wataru. Gods above, please do not let that rat bastard Tenshouin be with him.
“--Of course, that’s when Nagisa broke the controller. He’s a very sore loser, you know. It’s actually really funny to watch--” Wataru paused his story once he spotted Shu. Of course the clown was hand in hand with Eichi. Why would Wataru be with literally anyone else?
“Shu~!! Exactly the person I wasn’t looking for and yet am so very delighted to see~!”
“Wataru.” Shu pointedly refused to acknowledge Eichi’s presence.
“Aww and Doll-san is here. You’re very cute together.” Wataru winked. Shu was absolutely certain that Wataru had some sixth sense that could tell exactly what had happened between the members of Valkyrie. He practically reeked of smug triumph. (The fact that Shu had moved himself to wrap protectively around Mika really didn’t help his case either).
“I would appreciate it if you didn’t call him that. And please keep it down”
“Of course, of course!” Wataru did not, in fact, keep it down. The mere thought of volume control might cause him to have a heart attack, you know.
Eichi was still there, unfortunately. It seemed as though he wanted to speak. Pity. Shu didn’t feel like obliging him.
“Itsuki-kun.” Eichi waved a hand in polite acknowledgement.
Of course he was playing the polite card. If Shu didn’t acknowledge him then he’d be the asshole in the situation. Good thing Shu was antisocial because he did not care.
Maybe he cared a little. The tension was starting to get to him.
“...Tenshouin.”
“Will we be seeing you at the afterparty?”
If he was lucky, Mika would sleep right through it and they could go home. Natsume had recently cursed Shu, however, so the chances of easily avoiding another Eichi encounter seemed slim.
“Possibly.”
Wataru made a strange motion, as if he were cutting something in the air. He then handed Shu absolutely nothing.
“What?”
“Oh, it’s just that the tension in this room is so sharp that I could cut a cake with it. So I did. This piece is for Kagehira when he wakes up.” He handed Shu a miniature prepackaged cake. So Mika gets an actual cake, but Shu doesn’t? Rude.
“Why?”
“My two favorite people being at their throats like a pair of feuding rats growling in the subways is simply no fun. Alas, I am left to amuse myself through other means.”
“Wataru, this is the part where you should probably stop talking. Also, you call everyone your favorite person.” Eichi gave his boyfriend a flat look.
“You won’t catch me ever calling Keito my favorite person. I have standards. ” He then flipped his hair. Like a high school girl on those awful American sitcom shows.
“Amen to that.”
Wataru nodded sagely.
Turning back towards the two on the bench, local clown Hibiki said, “Well, Shu, my dearest and most beloved friend, Eichi and I are on our way to the afterparty now, so you might want to consider getting up soon. And I will be interrogating you about this”-- he gestured to the pile of Mika that had made itself home atop Shu--“regardless of whether you attend or not.”
Shu narrowed his eyes. “I hate you so much, Wataru.”
Wataru, of course, knew that Shu didn’t mean it. “Love you too, Shu~” He blew a kiss, which Shu mimed dodging. “See you later! Don’t have too much fun!”
“Have a nice night, Itsuki-kun.” The way in which Eichi said this seemed actually genuine. Looking into his eyes, Shu couldn’t find a hint of the normal amount of trickery.
This annoyed Shu. He didn’t want that bastard to be happy for him. He didn’t want there to be anything relatable between him and Eichi. He can’t forgive Eichi. He can’t be friends with him. He can barely stand to be in the same room as him.
And yet… The way he looked at Wataru reminded Shu of himself. Maybe Shu could try to be civil. Maybe.
“You too.”
With that, they went back on their merry way. “Wataru, what else happened with Nagisa?”
“Oh my god, that man is insane, so--” Rich, coming from a literal clown. Shu absolutely never wanted to be in a room with Nagisa and Wataru. Seeing their performance at Neverland was enough for a lifetime. Wataru had a slide whistle and a kazoo and managed to play both at the same time while Nagisa did slam poetry of bible verses.
Unique? Yes. Good? No.
✥﹤┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈﹥✥
Finally, after looking through all her usual haunts, Mika found just the person he was looking for.
“Naru-chan! Naru-chan!”
“Hm? Mika-chan?” Arashi looked up from whatever boring stuff she was doing. It was probably important, but Mika was feeling more important. Arashi wouldn’t mind. Probably.
“Naruuuuuu-chaaaan! Guesswhatguesswhatguesswhat!”
“Hold on there Mika-chan. I’m not guessing anything until you tell me why you weren’t at the afterparty last night like you said you’d be.” Accusatory, betrayal. Mika’s heart was shattered.
Mika groaned and mumbled out,“menshufellasleepngtlocknnmmmmhmm--”
“Speak up, I can’t hear you when you mumble~”
He took a deep breath, ready to be mildly embarrassed. “Me ‘n Shu fell asleep in th’ hallway on a bench ‘n no one thought t’ wake us up so we ‘re locked in there ‘nd had to wait a real long time for someone t’ come by t’ let us out cause neither of us had our phones on us ‘nd by that time y’all’dve been done partyin’ so we just went home ‘nd fell asleep again. I woke up, like, an hour ago.”
“Mika-chan!” Arashi exclaimed, laughing. “It’s nearly 4 in the afternoon!”
“Ehe, yeah…” He scratched at the back of his neck.
Arashi paused, putting on her thinking face. “You know, Mika-chan, I can’t help but notice that you used Oshi-san’s name. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you do that before. Something happen~?”
“Oh… I didn’t notice.” Mika wasn’t quite sure how best to refer to Shu now. Oshi-san was a classic and he loved it, but he’d already started slipping up and using just ‘Shu’ after only a few uses. Why were names so complicated?
“But yes! Somethin’ did happen! ‘S what I was gonna tell ya. Oshi-san kissed me and said he loved me lots! Naru-chan, he loves me!” Mika couldn’t contain his excitement, just thinking about it made him want to dance around like the lovesick fool he was.
“Took him long enough.”
“Ehh?”
Arashi did that thing where it looked like she was looking down on you while also admiring you. “Mika-chan, honey. You two have been an obvious thing for a while now. We were all just waiting for you to finally actually get together.”
“Hrrrrgggg.” Okay, yeah. Maybe. But she didn’t have to say it.
“Oh, also, you might be getting a bunch of congratulations from people. Seems like most of ES knows about you two now.”
“What? How do they know? ’ve only told you, ‘n Oshi-san’s still at home. Hasn’t even been a day yet!”
She checked her nails, looking nonchalant. “Ritsu-chan”
“Ehhh??” Ritsu. That bastard. Ruining Mika’s surprise. Telling Arashi would have ended up with everyone knowing anyway, but at least that would have given them some time to prepare.
“He said he was taking a nap nearby when the two of you being all mushy woke him up. He said he was upset at being disturbed, but you were just too cute to bother about it.” Mika would have to apologize to Ritsu. Actually, maybe he wouldn’t, since Ritsu went and spread Mika’s super-duper good news secret. “I also heard that Tenshouin-senpai and Hibiki-senpai stopped by for a chat, and you know how Hibiki-senpai is.”
“Oshi-san talked t’ Tenshouin-senpai and no one ended up dead? Maybe God does exist.”
“I think the fact that you were sleeping on top of Oshi-san made it a little harder for him to finally strangle Tenshouin-senpai to death. Oshi-san would never be discourteous and wake his boyfriend up, after all.”
“Ehehe boyfriend~ thats me~”
Arashi smiled at him. “Being in love looks good on you, Mika-chan. I’m really happy for you.”
“Ehehe, thank ya Naru-chan,” he blushed.
Mika felt his phone vibrate.
New message from ♡Oshiiii-sannnn♡
♡Oshiiii-sannnn♡ : Kagehira, while you’re out gossipping and inevitably shaming my name, could you find Rei? He’s letting me borrow his Malice Mizer CDs while I’m here.
Hatsune Mika : i mean sure, but why cant you get em
Hatsune Mika : you n rei are friends n all, dontcha wanna see him
♡Oshiiii-sannnn♡ : I don’t want Wataru to find me.
Mika heard Arashi snort. When had she started watching him type? Whatever, she’d know about it all anyway.
Hatsune Mika : yknow he knows where the dorms are, he could visit literally whenever
Hatsune Mika : I dont think ur getting out of it no matter how much hiding you do
♡Oshiiii-sannnn♡ : *sigh* Yes, I suppose you’re correct.
“Oh my god, he actually types out his sighs.”
“Nnehhh, don’t be mean, ’s cute,” Mika mumbled.
Arashi raised an eyebrow but thankfully remained silent.
♡Oshiiii-sannnn♡ : If you meet me at Kanata’s pond in a few, I’ll take you to dinner and we can grab the CDs on the way back. If that sounds amenable.
Hatsune Mika : sure!
Hatsune Mika : ehehe oshi-san’s taking me on a daate~
♡Oshiiii-sannnn♡ : You best be presentable, I don’t want to have to clean you up after you went and rolled in a pile of mud somewhere.
♡Oshiiii-sannnn♡ : And absolutely do not let Kanata lure you into the water.
♡Oshiiii-sannnn♡ : I’m not taking you anywhere if you’re dripping wet and covered in pondscum.
Hatsune Mika : yessir!
Hatsune Mika : I will keep myself very clean just for you~ :3
“Oh! Tell him I can do your makeup and make you look all fancy. Maybe Oshi-san will be enticed~”
♡Oshiiii-sannnn♡ : Thank you, kagehira
Hatsune Mika : naru-chan said she could do my makeup n make me look fancy if ya want
“Sure is taking his time in responding.”
“He’s delicate, gotta make sure his wordsre perfect.” He wasn't sure that delicate was the right word for the situation, but it got his point across.
♡Oshiiii-sannnn♡ : I would like for you to show up however you feel the most comfortable, so long as it is presentable. If that features makeup and clothes of a finer variety, then I would not be one to complain.
“Ehe! That’s Oshi-san speak for ‘Kagehira. I am ashamed to admit that I find you attractive, so I will tell you in a very roundabout way. Please wear makeup, by all means.’”
Arashi giggled at his Shu impression. “It’s almost like he’s here with us.”
Hatsune Mika: okie dokie! see ya in a bit! <3
♡Oshiiii-sannnn♡ : Stay safe. ♥
With a clap, Arashi said, “Well, Mika-chan, let’s go get you all dolled up. We’re gonna make you look so cute that your Oshi-san won’t be able to stop staring.”
“Mmm, y’know, I don’t think he can do that ‘n th’ first place.”
“This is true. We’ll make it so you knock his socks off either way.”
Mika smiled, content. The sun shone down on the two of them as they made their way over to Arashi’s dorm.
Mika couldn’t imagine all of this was actually happening to him, yet here he was. Finally human. Loved by someone he thought would never love him back. Truly and deeply glad to be alive.
Maybe he was putting too much faith in himself, but he had the distinct feeling that things would finally turn out right.