Archive of Our Own

The sound of a camera shutter has Niall reaching for the blankets before his eyes can even open. He covers himself as he sits up to glare at Harry, who’s standing in the doorway with his mobile out and a shit eating grin on his face.

"What the fuck, Harry?" Niall asks because he'd put a sock on the door like some kind of cliche asshole and everything.

Harry laughs maniacally and taps away at his phone. "Didn't you learn anything from Japan?"

"Ha ha, you're very funny," Niall says, deadpan. "Please leave my room."

"Why?" Harry teases. "You gonna finish up without me?"

"Not gonna finish up with you," Niall shoots back.

Harry pouts and Niall rolls his eyes. "Wanks are always more fun with more than one person."

"Fuck off," Niall says, but he sighs. Harry's been here too long. His boner is all but gone. Goddammit. "Go call Nick or something if you wanna do a mutual wank thing."

Harry strides across the room, throwing himself onto the bed next to Niall, apparently indifferent to Niall's deflating boner situation. "Nick doesn't love me anymore," Harry complains. (It's such a load of shit, Nick loves Harry just as much as Harry loves Nick.) Harry goes on, "He got mistaken for my father one time and it's like I've killed his boner forever.”

“Yeah, wonder what that feels like,” Niall quips, but the sarcasm seems lost on Harry, who is laughing at something on his phone. “Was there a reason you came in here?”

“What?” Harry blinks at him. Niall glares. “Oh! Right, yeah. Wanted to see if you’d be up for a round of golf.”

“You interrupted my wank to find out if I wanted to play golf,” Niall says, disbelief coloring his tone.

“To be fair,” Harry says, sounding contrite for the first time since he entered the room, “you love golf.”

“I do love golf,” Niall concedes. “Don’t love you.”

“Liar!” Harry crows, sitting up and straddling Niall on the bed. “You love me more than you love golf and you love me more than you love touring. You even love me more than Australia!”

“Don’t love you more than getting off, though,” Niall argues, pushing at Harry where he’s trying to lean down and lick at Niall’s face. “Fucking speaking of getting off, Haz, you’re crushing me, you giant.”

“You’re going to go golfing with me, yeah?” Harry asks, batting Niall’s hands away from his shoulders.

“Yes, for fuck’s sake,” Niall says. “Go away so I can get dressed and I’ll meet you in the car in ten minutes.”

Harry beams at him, leaning down to kiss Niall on the cheek before Niall can hit him away.

“I hate you,” Niall calls after him, but he’s pretty sure Harry doesn’t hear him over the door slamming shut.

With a sigh, Niall stretches out in the bed, back cracking as he arches it. Sometimes he wishes he were back in Ireland, with a whole house to himself after school while his mum was still at work. He has a whole house of his own now and somehow he still has people walking in on him when he’s trying to tug off. It’s bloody annoying.

He reaches for his phone, where he’d put it on silent while he tossed off, not wanting to be interrupted (what a fucking joke). He groans when he opens up the group message and reads back everything that’s been happening over the last few minutes.

He’s going to fucking murder Harry.

“Louis, what’s the percent of investment that Gary has with the 5SOS boys…” Liam’s looking down at the laptop he’s balancing on his forearm as he walks into Louis’ room. “Because I’m looking at the returns for this year and it seems like his is a little on the low side and -- Oh my god, I’m so sorry.”

Louis doesn’t even take his hand off his cock. Liam feels himself going bright red. It’s not like. It’s not like how it was in the beginning, honest. Back then, Louis would just have to say the word “dick” in any kind of sexual context and Liam would be turning bright red. His friends just didn’t talk like that back home. Now, though, he’s seen Louis and Zayn and Harry and Niall’s dicks almost as much as he’s seen his own. But never hard. Well, not usually hard. It’s difficult to spend as much time together as they do and not walk in on each other once or twice. They're usually pretty good about it, actually. Maybe they're just having an off-week, what with Harry interrupting Niall and now him with Louis.

It doesn’t matter how many times it happens, though, it’s still going to make Liam feel uncomfortable because it makes him think about all the times they’ve walked in on him getting off and how weird that is and also Louis’ hand is still on his dick.

“I’ll come back later,” Liam says quickly going to back up. “Sorry, again.”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Louis says. He finally takes his hand off his dick to push himself up in the bed. Not that that stops his dick from being hard and dripping and right there. “Was only just getting started.”

“Seriously, Lou, I can come back when you’re done or something.”

“What were you saying about Gary?” Louis asks, raising his eyebrows at Liam like this is another one of his fucking dares.
Liam meets Louis’ eye, sees the challenge there. He clears his throat and holds up his laptop. He can play this game, too. He’s become fucking excellent at this game over the years. “I was going over the investment portfolio for the lads and Gary’s share seems a bit off and I couldn’t figure out why, reckoned you might.”

“Bring it here,” Louis commands, making grabby hands at the laptop.

Liam frowns, but steps closer. “Don’t get your willy all over my keyboard,” he warns.

“I’ll put my willy where I want, Liam,” Louis retorts, taking Liam’s laptop from his hands and balancing it on his knees. "Now let's see."

"It doesn't bother you?" Liam asks suddenly. He hasn't moved from his spot beside the bed, eyes glued to the laptop screen so he's not looking... somewhere else.

"What doesn't?" Louis asks, more focused on typing something in on the laptop than on what Liam is saying.

"That I, like, interrupted you."

Louis rolls his eyes. "It's not the first time someone's walked in on me doing this. It's not even your first time walking in on me. Much rather have you catch me out than my sisters."

"But don't you want to finish?" Liam asks. He's always grumpy when he doesn't get to get off. He sets his alarm ten minutes earlier on hotel nights so he's sure he'll get to finish before Paul or Paddy slams on the door for bus call.

"When you live with four younger sisters with boundary issues, you learn to blue ball it for a while if you have to."

"Ruth and Nicola never walked in on me." Liam doesn't even want to imagine what it would have been like if they had.

"That's because they're older than you and knew what you were doing," Louis tells him. He looks up from the laptop suddenly, a stupid smile on his face. "Liam Payne, were we the first ones to ever catch you having a wank?"

Liam leans down and pokes Louis right between the eyes. "Fuck off, Tommo."

“Who was it then?” Louis presses. “Which one of us took your wank virginity? Oh, please tell me it was me. Was it me?”

“Zayn,” Liam says. He feels like this is not something he should be smug about, but he is anyways. This is what hanging out with Louis Tomlinson for three consecutive years will get you.

“Goddammit,” Louis swears. He turns back to the laptop and Liam thinks that this conversation is over. He should know better by now, really. “Guess I’ll just have to walk in on you more now to make up for it.”

“Okay, thank you,” Liam says, scooping his laptop out of Louis’ grasp and exiting the room.

“Whoops, sorry, bro,” Zayn says from the doorway. “Thought you were staying in the hotel tonight.”

“Nah,” Harry pants out. “Too much work for just one night, figured I’d crash on the bus that way I could sleep in in the morning.”

“And you didn’t think you needed to close the curtain to your bunk while you got off?” Zayn smiles, amused where he’s leaning up against the doorframe that separates the bunks from the back lounge.

Harry glares at him. “Didn’t think anyone else would be staying on this bus seeing as it’s not yours and Louis’ precious ‘Bus 1’.” Harry takes his hands off his nipples to make the air quotes around the words and everything.

“Sound a bit bitter, mate,” Zayn says. He’s not leaving, why isn’t he leaving? This is the first alone time that Harry’s had in days that isn’t the shower at whatever venue they were playing that night. He’s got his candles lit and everything and Zayn is ruining it.

“Probably because someone interrupted my wank,” Harry says, wrinkling his nose at Zayn. He’s pretty sure he could still finish up if Zayn left right now. It’s not like looking at Zayn has ever been a boner killer.

Zayn rolls his eyes. “If you twist twice when you’re at the tip,” he says, “you’ll come faster.” Harry’s mouth drops open at his words, but all Zayn does is chuckle and throw him a wink before leaving the doorway.

Harry blinks a few times, slides his hand up and down his half-hard dick. Gives it two twists at the top instead of one and, holy fuck, Zayn is a genius.

~*~

Harry plops down on the couch in the back lounge next to Zayn about ten minutes later. He sits maybe a bit too close considering he’s still all sweaty and gross from coming, but Zayn doesn’t move away so Harry thinks he’s probably fine.

“Good advice,” Harry says, watching Zayn out of the corner of his eye. “That double twist is life changing.”

He watches the corners of Zayn’s mouth flick up, smug.

“Trick I learned growing up,” Zayn explains, staring at the television where some advert for Pepsi is playing. “Had to make it quick so my sisters wouldn’t catch me. Doniya lived to embarrass me.”

“Used to have the house to myself everyday after school,” Harry says thoughtfully. “Gemma usually went out with her friends and Mum would be at work. Got to take my time.”

“Lucky you,” Zayn snorts. “Got to get off as slow as you talk.”

“Heyyyyy,” Harry whines, poking at Zayn’s side. “Be nice to me, I just had a great orgasm because of you.”

Zayn rolls his eyes, but lifts one of his arms. “Suppose you’ll want a cuddle then.”

Harry gives Zayn his best smile and snuggles into his side, tucking his head beneath Zayn’s chin and burying his nose in Zayn’s jumper.

“You smell like sex, mate,” Zayn says after a minute, his hand coming up from around Harry’s shoulders to play with his hair. Harry practically purrs.

Harry presses a smile against Zayn’s neck. “You look like sex,” he retorts, “all the time. So I think you can suffer through this.”

“Wasn’t complaining,” Zayn says. “Don’t be a twat.”

Harry nips at Zayn’s neck, extra careful to sink his teeth in. Zayn reacts exactly how Harry expected him to: pushing Harry away and telling him to go shower. Doesn’t matter, though, because Harry sees the way he’s smiling as he strips off his pants and heads for the wash.

“Payno, what the fuck?” Louis slams on the door of the bathroom from his side. “I know you’re a world famous pop star used to having his own bathroom, but please remember that we share this one.” Louis shakes the door handle, surprised to find it unlocked. He wouldn’t have knocked if he’d thought Liam had left the door unlocked. He storms in, steam enveloping him.

“How about you save some water for the rest of us, Liam?” Louis demands, pulling the fancy glass shower door open so he can better glare at Liam.

“Jesus!” Liam shouts, turning away from Louis and the cold air that he’s letting into the shower. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to shower,” Louis answers and he can feel the smile on his face grow sly. He doesn’t even mean for it to, but it’s morning and he didn’t sleep well and he’s got Liam standing in front of him, clearly embarrassed to have been caught mid-wank. “Looks like I’m returning the favor, instead.”

“What favor?” Liam shoots over his shoulder, still not turning to face Louis.

“From when you walked in on me a few days ago,” Louis says.

“I’m not…” Liam splutters. Louis raises his eyebrows and Liam sighs and rolls his eyes. “Great, then, you caught me out. Can I finish my shower now?”

“Thought you got over the whole being embarrassed of your dick thing,” Louis says instead. He pulls his shirt off where it’s starting to cling to him in the damp bathroom.

“Doesn’t mean I want you all over it while I wank, Lou,” Liam retorts.

“Come off it, Liam,” Louis says, sliding out of his pants. “We all know I’m all you think about when you’re alone at night.”

Liam rolls his eyes. “Right, yeah. Definitely thinking about you instead of my super hot girlfriend.”

Louis scoffs as he climbs into the shower.

“What are you doing?” Liam asks, but he doesn’t move to stop Louis. Louis grins despite himself. An earlier version of Liam would have freaked out the minute Louis came into the bathroom; an earlier version of Louis wouldn’t have come into the bathroom. Contrary to popular belief, he knew where the line was back then. Now? Not so much. They’ve blurred the line so much that Louis isn’t sure it even exists anymore. It’s better this way, though.

“I’m trying to shower,” Louis says. “We have soundcheck in an hour and someone was being selfish with the bathroom.”

“You can’t just get into the shower with people, Louis,” Liam protests, but he moves over so Louis can step into the spray.

“If you don’t like it you can leave the band,” Louis retorts. He dips his head under the spray, then steps back out and shakes his hair making sure the water splatters across Liam’s face. Liam doesn’t even flinch. Sometimes Louis longs for the old Liam, he was much easier to make cross. Louis raises his eyebrows and looks meaningfully at Liam’s crotch. “Want me to turn the water cold?”

Liam rolls his eyes and shoves Louis out of the way so he can stand under the water. “Fuck off, Tommo, honestly. And stop stealing all the water.”

Louis knows that starting a slap fight in the shower isn’t the best idea he’s ever had, but when they’re late for soundcheck with the collars of their shirts still wet from where their hair is dripping on it, it’s worth it. Liam glares at him all night, but all Louis does is smile, whisper, “Payback is shit, isn’t it, Payno?” in Liam’s ear during the encore.

Zayn doesn’t know when or why something between the five of them shifted, but something has and he can’t figure out if it’s good or bad.

It’s probably not good, he reasons, after Harry literally mimes a blowjob on Liam’s mic just to watch Liam laugh and move away, shoulders a bit tense.

The thing is, they probably should have seen this coming. It only took one world tour for privacy to become a joke rather than an actual respected thing. Their crew is still pretty good about knocking and leaving them alone during their downtime, but the five of them had knocked down those boundaries early -- a survival tactic, really -- and Zayn doesn’t know how they’d even begin to build them back up if they wanted to.

This tour, though, something is different. They’ve only been back on the road for two weeks, but in those two weeks Zayn has walked in on (and been walked in on) during private time more times than he can count. And it’s not like they’re… ashamed, or whatever, because they had the whole “boys need to wank” talk all the way back in the bungalow when Louis had burst into Niall’s room one morning and found him tugging one off before breakfast. It hasn’t really been an issue since then, honestly. It’s awkward, but it’s become almost routine.

Maybe it’s because Louis and Liam are away from El and Sophia and he’s away from Perrie and they’re more hard up for it than usual. Maybe it’s because the last girl Niall had slept with on tour had threatened to go the papers about it so he hadn’t been with anyone but his hand in months. Maybe it’s because Harry’s always enjoyed getting off with other people more than alone and that’s pretty impossible on tour. Maybe it’s just one more barrier they needed to break down.

No matter what it is, it’s starting to boil over, Zayn can feel it. They’re all over each other. More than usual, anyway. The dick jokes are out of control. They’re not even normal dick jokes. (“Look at that girls shirt,” Louis had whispered into Harry’s ear while Zayn sat in front of them on the stairs. “It’s the same color as your prick when you’re wanking.”) It’s getting out of hand and Zayn finds that sex had while worrying that one of your bandmates is going to walk in at any minute is infinitely more satisfying than a slow wank in the privacy of your own room. Which is probably its own brand of fucked up, but Zayn doesn’t care.

All he knows is that something is going to happen. Probably sooner rather than later. Probably really soon considering that tonight Harry had dropped to his knees in front of Zayn, smiling slyly and winking while he said, “Wonder what three twists would feel like.”

They’re on the verge of something. Every night brings them closer to the edge of whatever this is. Zayn doesn’t know whether he’s excited or ready to quit the band.

Niall can’t find Zayn. He’s checked his room and the lounge on Bus 1. No one seems to know where he is, either, least of all Louis who figured out that Niall had weed way too fast. If he doesn’t find Zayn soon, Louis is going to find him and steal all of it before Zayn gets a single hit.

On a whim, Niall checks the lounge on Bus 2 because he’s been spending more time there now, saying something about Harry being a needy fucker when questioned about it.

He finds Zayn spread out on the full size couch, laptop open beside him and headphones in while he jerks off.

He knows that he should leave. That would be the polite thing to do, considering he doesn’t think any of them have had an uninterrupted wank session in weeks. But this is some really good weed, Zayn would be mad if he missed out in favor of shitty porn and his right hand.

“Mate,” Niall says loudly, hoping to be heard over the headphones. It doesn’t work. He walks further into the lounge and then decides fuck it and spreads himself out on the couch beside Zayn.

“What the fuck, mate?” Zayn groans out, not even opening his eyes. His hand stills, Niall noticed, the long line of his arm pressed up against Niall’s side. “Just once on this tour I’d like to have an orgasm. Just once.”

“No one’s stopping you,” Niall says because he’s not. If Zayn wants to keep going, Niall’s more than happy to wait. “But if you’re going to wank in front of me, you can at least share your porn.”

Zayn seems to think about it for a minute. Then he shrugs and shifts until he can fit the laptop between him and Niall, unplugging the headphones and tossing them to the side. Niall gives a wince of sympathy for how tangled they’re going to be later on.

“Was using headphones because I think Harry’s asleep in his bunk,” Zayn says, “but you’re so loud that you’ll probably wake him up, anyway.”

“Fuck off,” Niall says, laughing and bumping his shoulder against Zayn’s. “I’m not that loud.”

“There’s a reason those articles in Japan used the word ‘violently’, Niall,” Zayn teases. Niall glares.

“You guys are never going to let that go, are you?”

Zayn just smiles and presses play on the porn.

It’s pretty standard porn, which Niall is kind of disappointed by. He knows that Zayn and Louis both have pretty weird porn stashes and he’s always been curious as to what they watch when they’re at home and far away from bandmates with access to their hotel rooms. Still, porn is porn, really and Niall splays his hand out against himself over his trackies, teasing through the fabric.

“Gotta catch up,” Zayn slurs, looking at Niall from under his lashes. His hand is back on his dick, but he isn’t moving it.

Niall laughs and takes his dick out, the skin to skin contact making him groan. He’s all the way hard when he and Zayn are interrupted.

“I was sleeping,” Harry says. He sounds so offended that Niall laughs out loud. “I was sleeping twenty feet away and you’re in here having a. A porn party!”

“Want to join?” Zayn offers and Niall snorts. Zayn glances at Niall out of the side of his eye and Niall feels himself blush. “Everyone knows how much pop sensation Harry Styles likes to party.”

“Can’t get a boner if you’re talking shit, mate,” Harry says, but there’s no heat behind it. He comes to sit beside Niall on the couch, squinting at the laptop screen. “This porn is terrible.”

“Could Google that X Factor picture of your dick, instead,” Zayn retorts.

Harry leans past Niall to stick his tongue out at Zayn. “Why Google it when you can see the real thing?”

“The real thing is much less impressive,” Niall tells him. “You’ve always known how to take a good picture.”

“I’m choosing to take that as a compliment,” Harry says, voice lofty.

They don’t even get to hit play on the computer before Louis is barging into the lounge. Niall should have seen this coming, at least. There’s very few things that will get Louis out of bed the way the promise of a good spliff will.

“Where is it, Horan?” Louis demands and then he freezes. “What are you all doing?”

“Porn party,” Niall tells him, laughing when Harry beams at him for using his words.

“How very dare you.” Louis crosses his arms over his chest. “These two I expect it from, but you, Harold? I thought you were better than this.”

“Et tu, Brute?” Harry quotes and then laughs at his own joke.

“Shove over, then,” Louis says, coming to sprawl out next to Zayn. “I’m texting Liam. Have you already smoked everything?”

“Bro, do you have stuff?” Zayn perks up, turning to Niall.

Niall nods, pulling the dimebag out of the pocket on the chest of his shirt. “One of the sound guys grew up around here and knew a few guys who sell.”

“Sick!” Zayn cheers, ignoring his dick in favor of closing his laptop and reaching for the rolling papers they keep on the window frame behind the couch. He sets up with the laptop on his knees. “Give it here.”

Niall hands over the baggie easily. Zayn’s the best at rolling, he’s more than happy to let him do it.

“Why is Louis texting me about band bonding?” Liam asks loudly as he comes onto the bus. “I don’t want to be bonded to any of you more than I already am, thank you.”

“You’re a shit liar, Liam,” Harry says as Liam comes into view. “You should just give it up.”

“What the hell?” Liam asks instead of taking Harry’s bait. Niall cackles.

“Don’t question it,” Louis says. “Just pull up a seat and pull out your dick.”

“Do you think it’s too late to tell Simon that I want to go through as a solo act or not at all?” Liam asks, but he sits down beside Harry. His dick, unfortunately, stays in his pants. Niall doesn’t think that’s fair, the rest of them have got theirs out.

That’s forgotten, however, when Zayn hands him the roach, holding it out with his lighter. “You first,” he says. “Your weed.”

“Thanks, mate,” Niall says, taking the joint and lighter from him. He puts it in his mouth, lights it, and breathes in deep. “Oh, fuck yes,” he says. “This is some good shit.”

“Pass it here,” Louis says. Niall hands it to Zayn.

“He rolled,” Niall says when Louis protests.

Zayn rolls them two more and they pass them around between the five of them, laughing and falling all over each other.

“Don’t know why we haven’t done this before,” Harry says after about ten minutes. Niall’s high has set in, it feels like his bones are made of cotton candy. It’s excellent.

“Done what? Gotten high together?’ Louis says. “Did you block out all of Florida from last year, Styles?”

Harry throws his balled up shirt at Louis. He’d lost it after his first hit, claiming that clothes “repressed his high.” Sometimes Niall understands nothing about Harry.

“Get off together,” Harry explains. “Aren’t circle jerks, like, a rite of passage?”

“You think Paul and Ringo and John and George ever circle jerked?” Zayn asks.

“It’s the only way to really celebrate cracking America, I think,” Liam says. He grins slowly at all of them.

“Might as well get the celebrations under way,” Louis says. With that, he fists his cock, tugging it firmly.

It’s like some kind of dam breaks because then all of their hands are on their dicks, their moans filling the back lounge.

“It’s not a fucking race, Malik,” Louis grunts out. “There’s no prize for coming first.”

“Habit,” Zayn says, throwing his head back as he does something with his wrist that Niall kind of wants to explore further.

“Double twist!” Harry shouts because Harry makes no fucking sense.

“How do you fuck anyone with that beanpole of a dick?” Niall throws at Louis because he’s high and he’s about to come and life is pretty grand.

“Fuck off,” Louis says. “At least I don’t slam on hotel room walls while violently masturbating.”

One day they’ll let Japan go.

Probably not, though.

“I need everyone to take a minute,” Harry says, breathing shallow, “and just appreciate how nice Liam’s dick is.”

“How are you more annoying when you’re high?” Liam asks, but he pinks up under Harry’s praise. “Isn’t weed supposed to make everyone better?”

Harry pouts. “I’m just trying to compliment your very nice dick, Liam. No need to be rude.”

Liam flashes Harry a smile and Harry melts under it, just like Niall knew he would. They’re so predictable, honestly.

Well, no. Niall guess that isn’t true. They’re in the middle of a rather unpredictable circle jerk. Though Niall’s sure there are people who would have said they’d seen this coming. Something in Zayn’s eye tells Niall that Zayn is one of those people.

Harry comes first, to Niall’s surprise. It’s clearly a surprise to Harry, too. His eyes go wide, but then he slumps into the couch, clearly pleased. “Much better than porn.”

Zayn goes off next, then Niall, Louis, and, finally, Liam.

“Look at that stamina,” Louis manages to tease. “Sophia is one lucky bird.”

“Can we not talk about my girlfriend when I just got off with my mates?” Liam requests. “I don’t want to be thinking about this the next time I’m with her.”

“Do you think about us often when you’re having sex with your girlfriend, Liam?” Harry asks to be a shit. Niall is pretty sure that if his hand wasn’t covered in come, Louis would be leaning over to give Harry a fist bump.

“Can you all please fuck off?” Liam pleads, closing his eyes and tilting his head back against the couch.

“Thought that’s what we just did,” Niall quips.

They all laugh and it’s sleepy and slow, a combination of satiation and marijuana. It’s fucking great. Niall hasn’t felt this good in forever.

“Is this going to be a thing now, then?” Liam asks.

“Can do,” Zayn answers. “Don’t see why not. I’m gonna tell Pez, though. Think she’ll think it’s funny.”

“Probably ask to watch,” Louis says, opening an eye to look at Zayn, a smirk on his face.

“How about you shut up or I tell El about that night you got drunk and talked about her wrists for an hour?” Zayn returns.

Louis just shrugs. “They’re very nice wrists.”

They all laugh again and Niall feels like he’s floating.

They should probably get up and shower and clean up. The last thing they need is someone finding the five of them tomorrow morning, sprawled out across the couch with their dicks out and a quarter baggie of pot on top of Zayn’s laptop. He’s too comfortable, though, and as Harry cuddles into his side Niall loses any of his will to move.

“From the bottom of the stairs to the back of the bus,” he murmurs and he hears them laugh in response. Niall falls asleep with a smile on his face.