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Felix isn't a complete idiot. He has noticed that Jeongin often holds his hands, compares their hand sizes, interlaces their fingers together once he is satisfied and then lets Felix lean against him.
He is just the tiniest bit of an idiot for not realising what it really meant.
He met Jeongin through a mutual friend of theirs, Hyunjin, when Felix needed a place to live in. Hyunjin was moving out and Jeongin needed a roommate. It was the perfect solution. Felix then found himself get ingrained in their friend circle shortly. Often they would hang out together at Jeongin and Felix's place.
It is one such day when Changbin, unintentionally, brings Felix's notice to the fact that Jeongin is a little too much interested in Felix's hands. They are all hanging out and Jeongin had just pushed Changbin off when he tried to cuddle with him and gone to the bathroom, leaving the room behind giggling at Changbin's expense.
"Not fair," grumbles Changbin. "He lets Felix cuddle with him all the time but I get pushed the minute I set a finger on him. Unequal treatment."
"Everyone loves Felix," says Minho and then helpfully adds, "No one loves you."
Changbin hits Minho with a pillow who hits him back just as fiercely.
"To be fair," says Hyunjin with a twinkle in his eyes, "Felix does get a special treatment. I mean, how many times does Innie hold Felix's hands in a day?"
"It's in the low hundreds," says Seungmin and everyone joins in, laughing and teasing Felix.
"He is just always trying to mock me," says Felix, rolling his eyes. It's no secret to anyone that Felix has tiny hands and Jeongin has gigantic hands. Jeongin takes a lot of pleasure in reminding Felix of that fact everyday. "He just likes mocking how small my hands are."
"OR he is just constantly trying to find excuses to hold hands with you," says Jisung. "You gotta admit, he is pretty clingy when it comes to you. He basically punches us when we try anything but he initiates it with you."
Felix feels a bit surprised. He didn't know that their dynamic was being interpreted this way. Sure, Jeongin has a soft spot for him but don't they all do? Felix knows his own power.
"He doesn't punch any of you," is the first thing Felix ends up saying after his short silence. "He just threatens to. You know he never means it."
"Looks like someone is in denial," says Hyunjin and he and Jisung both catch each other's eyes and snicker.
Jeongin comes out again. "Hey, what's up? What's up?"
"Nothing!" says Felix hastily and then curses himself. Why is he getting nervous? They are just teasing him, it's nothing serious.
"You guys are all laughing," says Jeongin and Felix is suddenly aware that he sits down right next to him. "I wanna know the joke too."
"You are gonna say it's a lame joke anyway so why do you care?" says Chan and smiles at Felix. Clearly he took some pity on Felix's reluctance to let Jeongin know what they were talking about.
Jeongin shrugs. "That is why I wanna know."
Minho puffs up his chest. "I have taught him well."
"You have taught me nothing outside of the kitchen and I won't let you either."
"Okay, rude."
Felix zones out the bickering in favour of musing. Now that he really considers everyone else's words, joking as they were, he realises they were right. Jeongin just seemingly grabs his hands out of nowhere at times and doesn't even look smug or mocking after comparing their hands, just keeps holding his hands. He doesn't seem to mind it much when it's Felix snuggling up to him or back-hugging him. He protests, sure, but eventually lets him do it with surprising acceptance.
Felix shakes his head, suddenly recalling all the times he was not allowed to hug Jeongin. Clearly it's all a coincidence. He gets the same treatment as all the others, it's just that they are roommates so Felix often finds him at times when he is just not energetic enough to pretend to hate everyone. It is just a confirmation that they spend a lot of time together, living in the same house. Nothing else.
"Hyung, there is very little space here," Jeongin complains suddenly. Felix comes back to himself to realise that they both are cramped in the place which is clearly meant for one person to sit in. "Can you get up?"
Felix scoffs. "No, I was here first."
"Well if you really wanna be technical, I came to live in this apartment first."
"Hey, that was me!" yells Hyunjin from somewhere. The evening has already descended into a chaos, considering Felix can't locate Hyunjin at all.
"You don't live here anymore, so shut up!"
"I'm not leaving," says Felix, pouting. "I sat here first."
Jeongin blinks. "I wasn't telling you to leave. I just told you to get up-"
"Yeah and then you will take-"
"-and then you can sit on my lap."
Felix stares at him, shell shocked. "What?"
Jeongin shrugs. "What? You are acting as if you have never sat in anyone's lap before."
He is right. Why is Felix getting so shocked? Curse Hyunjin and Jisung for putting all that in his head.
"Lix hyung, you okay?"
"There are other empty places you know."
"I don't wanna move."
Felix decides that's good enough a reason. He gets up and then, after Jeongin has adjusted himself comfortably on the seat, sits down.
Is it just his imagination that Jeongin is holding him closer than needed?
Well, it definitely isn't his imagination when Jeongin grabs one of Felix's hands and lines it up palm-to-palm with his own hand.
"Why do you always do that?" asks Felix before he can stop himself. The sudden realisation that Jeongin might like him more than he likes the others, that he might like like him, is messing with Felix's head.
Jeongin doesn't answer. Instead he just lets go and Felix feels disappointed.
"To compare, hyung," says Jeongin finally, sounding a little strained. "What else?"
"You need to do that always?"
He twists his neck a little to look at Jeongin's face. Jeongin looks conflicted.
But after a few seconds, confidence fills his features and he covers Felix's hand on his thigh with his own hand. Felix is once again reminded of how small his hands are compared to Jeongin's when he can't see even a centimeter of his own hand.
"Yes," says Jeongin. "I need to."
Wow.
Felix shifts closer to Jeongin, watching as his newfound confidence doesn't waver. Instead he wraps an arm around his waist, keeping him in place, making Felix's head spin.
"I like doing it," says Jeongin, whether referring to the hand-holding or the waist-holding, Felix has no idea. But he will gladly take either. "I like...you."
Felix's eyes widen. Did he mean it like that? Or was he just saying that platonically?
"We were talking about how you let me cuddle with you more than the others," says Felix abruptly, holding back his laugh at Jeongin's panicked expression. "We were- they were wondering of it means anything."
"Of course not, I can push you off my lap this very instant," threatens Jeongin but the arm holding his waist only tightens imperceptibly. "Don't test me."
Felix smiles. "Oh is that so?"
"Yes."
Felix has no doubt that Jeongin will push him off just to keep up the front of not liking affection but Felix now also knows that if he smiles sweetly and leans in, lips almost touching Jeongin's, Jeongin will visibly short circuit. And will not pull away.
"Hyung?" whispers Jeongin.
"I think you like me," says Felix, smiling wider when Jeongin's eyes flutter and drop to his lips before hastily looking up again. "I was an idiot for not realising this sooner but you really like me, don't you?"
The warm hand encasing his own squeezes slightly. "And what if I do?"
Felix takes a moment to think about it. What if he does? What will Felix do then?
"What if I want to hold hands with you, and keep you close?" says Jeongin, voice dropping even lower. "What if comparing hands was just an excuse for me to hold hands with you?"
"I will let you," says Felix. He is just now realising that he himself is no better when it comes to Jeongin. He probably likes him back just as much, wants to hold hands with him just as badly. "I will let you and I will like it."
They don't kiss because Chan clears his throat loudly and thank god, because Jisung and Hyunjin enter the room just then.
(They kiss later though, in the privacy of Felix's room. And Jeongin no longer needs to find excuses to hold Felix's hands now.)