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The first time the Warblers had seen Kurt was in the dining hall during lunch. They had heard rumors all that week about a new transfer student and were dying to know who it was. Not that they were gossipy or anything but maybe this kid could be another member to their show choir group. They were always looking for new members, they just had to be good enough to get in.
They had been sitting at the designated lunch table for all the Warblers when Sebastian had walked over to them, hand in hand with another boy that they had never seen before. The first thing the group noticed was how cute the boy was. He was very good looking with pale, smooth skin, blue eyes and perfectly styled hair. He held himself upright with confidence but his face told a different story. His eyes were frantic, like he was afraid that someone was going to jump out and attack him at any minute.
The second thing they noticed was how Sebastian and the boy were holding hands and then they thought that maybe the new kid was scared because of Sebastian. Sebastian wasn’t the most… how would you say it… gentle person. Even though he was their friend, Sebastian was arrogant and obnoxious and very straight forward. And his straight forwardness may have scared the new kid off.
“Hi Seb,” Jeff greeted him as Sebastian sat down next to him. He had let go of the new kid’s hand so he just stood there looking very out of place. “Who’s your friend?”
“Oh, this is Kurt,” He informed the group, reaching out his hand so that Kurt would come sit with him. “He’s new here,”
“I’ve heard of you before,” Trent said, excitedly. “You’re from McKinley.”
“Yeah, Kurt Hummel, right?” Thad asked him in which Kurt just slightly nodded his head. “You were apart of the New Directions,”
“That’s right and I’ve persuaded him to try out for the Warblers,” Sebastian beamed proudly. “Isn’t that right babe?” Kurt nodded his head again.
“Oh,” Wes said, raising his eyebrows at the other Warblers when Sebastian’s head was turned. So Kurt was “babe”? It wasn’t that Wes was homophobic or anything, in fact he was bisexual. No, it was just that Sebastian didn’t really seem like boyfriend material to him. He just hoped that Sebastian wouldn’t do anything stupid to break Kurt’s heart.
“That’s amazing,” Jeff exclaimed. “You're amazing Kurt. I watched your cheerleading performance at Nationals on TV last year. You were great,” Kurt just gave him a small smile before looking back to Sebastian.
The Warblers continued talking to one another about various subjects and one by one they subtly noticed how uncomfortable Kurt seemed. He was looking down at his hands, fidgeting with them and he seemed very nervous. They guessed that he was just shy or something like that and didn’t think much about it once they saw him. He would soon learn that they were all nice and trusting and soon they would become great friends.
Sebastian was the only person to confront Kurt. He took one of his hands so that he would stop and realize what he was doing before leaning in to whisper in his ear.
“Are you okay?” He asked. “You seem nervous,”
“I’m fine,” Kurt whispered back, still looking down. “I’m sorry, I’m probably embarrassing you in front of your friends,”
“What no,” Sebastian assured him. “You aren’t embarrassing me. They love you already, I can tell.” Kurt still didn’t seem convinced though so Sebastian continued to hold his hand, comforting him while not drawing any attention to him. Sebastian was more gentle than people gave him credit for.
Kurt was an odd fellow. He wasn’t weird like a nerd or a dork, he was just quiet and shy but sometimes he was too quiet and shy and it made it seem like he had a problem with people or something.
Kurt was an amazing singer. Later that day when the Warblers had met him, Kurt had auditioned for their group singing “I Want To Hold Your Hand” and his performance was outstanding. The emotion he put into his audition gave him a standing ovation and at the end of it he was near to tears. They would’ve been crazy to deny him into joining so they automatically accepted him and gave him Pavarotti, their mascot.
To say Kurt loved the bird was an understatement because Kurt took the bird with him everywhere. The bird’s cage was always on his desk during classes, always next to his bag on the floor at lunch and was always on his table with him when he did his homework. Kurt would take the bird out of his cage and would let him crawl on his finger while the bird sang. Kurt hummed along with him and everyone thought it was really cute.
Kurt didn’t really interact with everyone besides Sebastian and the bird. Sebastian was always holding hands with Kurt, they went everywhere together and the Warblers had never seen him so caring and kind towards another person before, they didn’t even know that it was possible. But then there was the couple, walking down the hallway hand in hand or kissing in the dorm room and it was really sweet. They only wished that Kurt would be more open with them so that they could get to know him better.
It wasn’t like they hadn’t tried to talk to Kurt because they had, it was just that they had given up. They would try to interact with him during the classes they shared or in their shared dorm room after classes but Kurt would just reply to them asking how his day was before returning his attention back to his work. And they knew that Kurt was trying to be rude or anything because he seemed way too sweet to do that but then they just wished that he knew that he could talk to them. It couldn’t be easy to transfer to a new school in the middle of the new semester, leaving all your friends behind and being hours away from your family. It just made them question why Kurt had come to Dalton in the first place.
They assumed that the two things, Kurt not talking to anyone and transferring were connected to each other but how, they didn’t know. So they let Kurt sit with them and they continued to ask how he was doing and if he needed anything in the hopes that he would open up more but he never did.
One day Kurt and Sebastian came to sit down with them at lunch like they usually did everyday when the group noticed something new about Kurt. He never ate anything. He would choose a small salad or a bowl of fruit to eat but would end up just pecking at it like he was Pavarotti. They didn’t really think much of it, just that maybe he had lost his appetite due to being upset about being away from everyone that he knew or that it had something to do with nerves so they didn’t question it or bring it up to Sebastian.
Sebastian however, noticed it and knew the reason behind it and it wasn’t just nerves. Kurt had a slight eating problem. It wasn’t much of a disorder, it was just that when he was under stress Kurt would stop eating. And it appeared to him that Kurt had been stressed for a long time seeing how thin and sickly he looked. You really had to look for it to notice it but Kurt was far too skinny. His uniform looked baggy and loose when he wore it and when he wasn’t in his uniform he wore pajama pants or sweatpants and a t-shirt or a hoodie. And it wasn’t like it was a crime or like it was abnormal for one to wear those pieces of clothing because all the boys wore things like that but the clothes that Kurt wore never fit him right, they were too big. And his facial structure was sharp, a little too sharp and his eyes were sunken in, giving him dark bags under his eyes that he had to cover with makeup. He was adorable to Sebastian but he would admit that Kurt was not the picture of health.
So Sebastian tried to help him. He would remind Kurt subtly to eat something even if it wasn’t much and would try to reduce the amount of stress his boyfriend felt even though his methods rarely ever worked. That day in particular was when David noticed that Kurt’s behavior was something more serious.
He had been conversing with Nick and Wes about potential ideas for group numbers for Regionals when his eyes drifted over to Kurt and Sebastian who were quietly talking to one another. He rarely ever heard Kurt speak which was probably why he was drawn to the scene and why he eavesdropped on their conversation.
Kurt had been staring at a granola bar that Sebastian had placed in front of him like it was poisonous or like it would attack him if he touched it. His eyes were wide and it seemed like he was trying to distance himself from the food as much as possible. Sebastian was sitting right next to Kurt with a comforting, encouraging hand on Kurt’s shoulder, trying to persuade him to eat.
“Come on Kurt,” Sebastian said. “You have to eat something,”
“I’m not hungry,” Kurt whispered back, once again fidgeting with his hands.
“You told me that at breakfast,” Sebastian reminded him and Kurt sighed. “Please, for me. You can do it,”
Kurt shook his head.
“Well can you tell me what’s bothering you then? Why you’re so worried today,”
“It’s nothing,” Kurt told him, his voice breaking a little, “I just miss them and they’re ignoring me,”
“Well what did you do?” Sebastian asked, rubbing Kurt’s back. “Not that you did anything wrong but why would they ignore you? I thought they were your friends,”
“It’s not important,” Kurt said. “I don’t want to talk about it but I’m not hungry,”
“It’s important if it’s bothering you babe. I want to help you. What did they do?”
“I have to go,” Kurt suddenly said, turning around to grab his bag and the bird cage. “Will you come with me?”
“Of course,” Sebastian said, standing up with Kurt and taking his hand. David had met eyes with Sebastian and had raised his eyebrow in a questioning manner as if to ask if Kurt was okay but Sebastian just smiled at him and waved his hand as if to assure David that he was fine. But David knew that he was lying because Kurt wasn’t okay, not if he was so stressed to the point that he was starving himself. So he decided that he would look out for Kurt and that maybe he could find a way to help him out. To find a way to make him feel more at home and welcome at Dalton or to make him feel more calm and relaxed. Kurt was a Warbler now and they were a tight group. They were all friends and they all looked out for each other to make sure they were okay. Kurt wasn’t any different to them.
Kurt had been at Dalton for a month now and it was Regionals. The competition was being held at McKinley and everyone could tell that Kurt was nervous about being at his old school. The reason why, well Sebastian of course was the only one to know of course and of course he didn’t tell them why. Not that the Warblers were trying to get all up in Kurt’s business or anything, it was just that they had started to get closer to the boy and they wanted to know if he was going to be okay.
Kurt was starting to act more comfortable around them. He still didn’t talk much but he seemed to pay attention to the conversations the boys had more instead of being off in his own little world. When he first arrived, all Kurt did was spend time in his dorm room with Sebastian if the rest of the Warblers were in the common room but now he occasionally joined them. Sure he sat away from them and usually did his own thing, homework or writing on a notebook but he seemed to enjoy their company more and that made the Warblers happy.
So after the competition where the Warblers had won they were all standing around outside, talking excitedly to one another about performing at Nationals in New York. They were really proud of themselves and of one another for winning and Wes was lecturing them about how hard they were going to have to work to win and how he was planning on adding extra rehearsals to their schedule so they could practice more. He was ignored for the most part except some teasing about how uptight and serious he was being. They wanted to celebrate, not rehearse.
Unfortunately their celebration was rudely interrupted by a group coming outside and a few of the members shouting.
“KURT HUMMEL,” One girl screamed, running up to the boy and almost knocking him over. She walked towards him while he walked back into a wall and hit his head, hard, against the bricks while the short, brunette pointed her finger into Kurt’s chest. “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US?”
“Rachel,” A tall boy said, coming up behind her along with a boy with obviously dyed, blonde hair, a boy with a mohawk, a girl with long, black hair and a girl with blonde hair pulled up in a ponytail. The rest of their group consisted of a boy in a wheelchair, another blonde girl with her hair pulled up in a ponytail, a well styled black girl, an Asian girl with blue streaked hair and a tall, skinny Asian boy who were all standing by the door and who looked scared.
“Rachel, come on leave him alone,” The blonde boy said from behind the tall boy. “It’s not his fault we lost,”
“The hell it’s not,” The girl with black hair said. “He probably leaked the setlist to the gay boys from Hogwarts,”
“Kurt wouldn’t do that you guys,” The tall boy told them. “Get off of him Rachel,”
“KURT, YOU KNEW HOW MUCH THIS MEANT TO US, HOW MUCH IT MEANT TO ME AND YOU BEAT US?” The girl named Rachel shouted at him causing Nick, Jeff and Sebastian to come over to the group so they could get Kurt away from the maniac. “I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS. I HATE YOU. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WOULD BETRAY US LIKE THAT,”
“Excuse me,” Sebastian said, passively aggressively as he tapped Rachel on her shoulder and pushed past her to get to Kurt. “Would you like to explain to me just as to why you are screaming at my boyfriend?”
“Boyfriend?” The group sputtered, shocked.
“Please tell me this is a joke,” The girl with long hair said. “I knew you guys did orgies there,”
“How dare you…” Jeff started to say but Nick held him back.
“I’m still waiting,” Sebastian said, pulling Kurt into a hug and noticing that his head was bleeding. “Fuck, you’re bleeding babe. Look what you fucking did you psycho. What the hell is wrong with you people?”
“Um, hi,” The tall boy said, awkwardly as he held out his hand and Sebastian shook it, hesitantly. “I’m Finn, Kurt’s step brother and this is Rachel, Santana, Sam, Puck and Quinn.”
“Hi,” Sebastian said, annoyed. “Now what the hell was that about?”
“He leaked our setlist to your show choir competition team, that’s what this is about,” The girl named Quinn said, her hands on her hips.
“Would you three stop it already,” The boy with the mohawk named Puck yelled. “Princess didn’t tell them okay, he wouldn’t do that. And look what you did Berry, he’s fucking bleeding you diva,”
“Well I’m sorry,” Rachel huffed. “But this is inexcusable. First he ditches us and now he tells all his new team members about our performances. He’s selfish you guys,”
“He is not Rachel,” The boy named Sam said. “You know how bad the bullying was. He couldn’t stay here,”
“Yeah Karofsky threatened to kill him and all you’re thinking about is yourself and a stupid competition that barely even matters,” Finn yelled at her. “You’re the one who’s selfish,”
“Wait what,” Nick asked, questioning as to what everyone was talking about. Who was Karofsky? Bullying? Someone threatened to kill Kurt? But why, he was so sweet and kind? Was it because he was gay? Were these people homophobic? “Come on Jeff, we have to go. Seb can handle it,” Nick said before trying to drag his boyfriend away but Jeff stayed put, wanting to defend Kurt so Nick stayed with him.
“Look I don’t know what’s going on here,” Jeff shouted, making himself known to the group. “But you people are horrible. I don’t even see how Kurtie could consider you people he’s friends. He didn’t leak your setlist okay? We won fair and square and if you can’t handle defeat and be a good sport then you have no business competing in the first place.”
“Oh whatever blondie,” The girl named Santana said, rolling her eyes. “How are we supposed to believe that, we don’t know what you guys talk about when you aren’t having sex with multiple people at a time at Hogwarts although I have a few ideas,”
“Alright that it’s,” Jeff said, pushing his sleeves up and starting to charge towards the girl before Nick and Sebastian held him back. “Let me at her,”
“No boys let him go,” Santana said, pushing up her own sleeves. “I’m about to show him what goes down when you mess with me, Lima Heights style. And it ain’t pretty, prep boy,”
“No, no fighting you guys,” Sam said, stepping in front of Santana to block her. “We’re competitors, not enemies,”
“We’re leaving,” Sebastian said, taking Kurt's hand and wiping the tears that had fallen down his face with his free hand. “Leave him alone, I don’t want you near him. Come on guys, lets go,”
Sebastian took Kurt with him as he walked away from the group, Nick and Jeff following behind him.
“What was that about Kurt?” Sebastian asked him once they had rejoined the Warblers. “I mean, you told me they were assholes but that girl attacked you,”
Kurt didn’t answer Sebastian and instead, cried into his chest and hugged him tightly.
“No hey no don’t cry babe,” Sebastian said, rubbing his back. “You’re okay,”
“Kurtie, you’re bleeding really bad, hon,” Jeff told him. “We need to get you to a doctor,”
“Jeff’s right,” Nick said. “We should take him to the hospital. He might have a concussion,”
“Shit,” Sebastian cursed, pulling Kurt away from him so he could see his face. “Hey Kurt, how do you feel right now? Are you dizzy?”
Kurt shook his head no.
“Do you feel sick?”
Again, Kurt shook his head.
“Does your head hurt at all?” Sebastian asked him.
Kurt nodded his head yes.
“Okay then. Let’s go,” He said, gesturing to the other boys. “We can take my car, let me just tell Wes that we’re leaving,”
So Sebastian told Wes about what happened and Wes wanted to complain to the show choir committee about the lack of sportsmanship the group showed but Sebastian said that they shouldn’t do it until they’ve talked to Kurt about it. Sebastian then left and went to his car where Nick, Jeff and Kurt were already inside waiting for him. Sebastian sighed, getting in the car and driving off, pissed that he was taking his boyfriend to the hospital for a concussion instead of being out and celebrating with his friends.
They got to the hospital and stayed there until around midnight while Kurt got checked out. Turned out he did have a mild concussion and his symptoms got worse as time went on. He had to have paperwork signed so that he could be released from the hospital but his dad was currently in DC so the papers had to be faxed over to him so he could sign them which was why they had stayed so long. And apparently his dad didn’t even care that Kurt had been hurt, nevertheless by people that had claimed to be his friends. He just signed the paperwork over the phone with Kurt and didn’t even ask him how he was feeling. Sebastian figured that not only did Kurt not have a good relationship with his so-called friends but he also didn’t have a good relationship with his family.
The four boys left the hospital and this time Nick drove so that Sebastian could sit with Kurt in the back seat.
“You feeling okay babe?” He asked Kurt who was half asleep at this point. The doctor had told him that it was safe for Kurt to fall asleep at this point but he still was afraid that Kurt would fall asleep and that he wouldn’t wake up so he tried to get Kurt to stay awake until they reached Dalton.
“Yes,” Kurt told him.
“Are you sure?”
“No,”
“You’ll be okay,” Sebastian assured him, pulling him into a hug. “I love you,”
“I love you too,” Kurt told him, snuggling into his chest while Sebastian kissed his forehead.
After the debacle at Regionals the Warblers became even more protective and concerned towards Kurt and they could feel him pulling away from them again. This time they didn’t let him go so easily. They invited him to watch movies with them in their common room or to ask for his opinions on various topics. They just wanted him to feel safe and included and they wanted to assure him that he had real friends, not fake ones like the friends he had at his old school.
So they became particularly concerned when Wes had called a late night Warbler rehearsal after dinner and when Kurt didn’t show up. Sebastian had told the group that Kurt would be a little late getting back to Dalton because he had spent the day in Lima with his dad and step-mom but then Kurt didn’t show up at all and the boys started to worry. Kurt wasn’t answering his phone and had been three hours late. It was getting late and the boys were considering telling the dean about their friend when he finally showed up.
Wes, David, Thad, Trent, Nick, Jeff and Sebastian were all in their dorm room that they shared with one another, conversing about what to do about their missing friend when they heard the door open and saw Kurt walk in the room. To say that the boys were relieved that Kurt had come back and that he wasn’t dead or stranded alone somewhere was an understatement but then they took a closer look and their panic came back.
Kurt was visibly shaking, soaked head to toe since it had been raining that day and had various cuts and bruises on his face. It was hard to tell whether the water on his face was rain or tears but they assumed that it was both. Kurt looked more scared then he usually did and hugged himself tightly as he slid down the door, breaking down into tears. It seemed like the boy hadn't noticed that he wasn’t alone and was surprised when the boys came up to him. Sebastian and Nick bent down in front of him as they both took one of his hands to hold.
“Kurt what happened?” Sebastian asked, trying to figure out whether he was more upset or angry and whether he would stay with Kurt or go and beat up whoever hurt him. “Where were you, we were scared?”
“He’s gonna kill me,” Kurt said, in between sobs. “He found me Seb… I was leaving my dad’s house, walking to my car when he attacked me with his friends and… and I tried to get away, to get my dad or Finn but they had already left and …” Kurt started to say but his voice trailed off before he continued crying.
“Who was it babe?” Sebastian asked, sharing a look with Nick. “Was it Karofsky?”
“Yes,” Kurt whispered. “Please Seb, I don’t want to die,”
“Hey, look at me,” Sebastian said, tilting Kurt’s head up so that they were looking into each other’s eyes. “You aren’t going to die, I promise you. Don’t worry, okay? But you have to tell us what happened so that we can help you. Can you do that?”
“No,” Kurt said, shaking his head and it broke the boys’ hearts to see how scared and vulnerable he was. “I don’t want to die. I can’t tell anyone,”
“Kurt babe,” Sebastian started to say. “You aren’t going to die, I told you that but you have to tell us what happened so that we can make sure it doesn’t happen again. You don’t want it to happen again right?” Kurt nodded his head. “Okay then, so how about we get you cleaned up and into some dry clothes and then you can tell us what happened.”
“You can’t tell anyone,” Kurt begged. “Please don’t tell my dad. All he’ll do is say that I deserved it for not sticking up for myself. Please Seb…”
“We won’t tell him okay?” Sebastian promised him. “Come on,”
He helped Kurt stand up and gave him a hug while Kurt continued to cry and Sebastian faced the Warblers, uncertain of what to do.
“Can someone get me some… I don’t know, band aids?” He asked. “What the fuck am I supposed to use?”
“Well go get some disinfectant and bandages from the nurse’s station,” Wes told him before leaving the room in a hurry with Thad and David.
“Did he really say that his dad was going to defend his attackers?” Trent asked, shocked. “What kind of sick person says something like that?”
“Well they don’t exactly have the best relationship with each other,” Sebastian sniffed. “That’s one of the reasons why he came here, so his dad could get rid of him and so he wouldn’t have to deal with the bullying at his old school,”
“That’s horrible,” Jeff said with tears in his eyes.
“I know,” Sebastian sighed, rubbing Kurt’s back. “I'm gonna help him change. Tell me when Wes comes back,”
Sebastian led Kurt into their room and shut the door before truing around to see Kurt sitting on his bed.
“You’re gonna be fine Kurt,” Sebastian assured him again. “You’re safe now,”
“I’m scared,” Kurt admitted, looking up into Sebastian’s eyes. “And it hurts,”
“What hurts?” Sebastian asked, sitting down next to Kurt on the bed.
“My head, I hit it on the ground.” Kurt explained. “And my wrist,” He said, holding out his arm so that Sebastian could see that his wrist was red and swollen. It was at least sprained. “Someone stomped on it,”
“Oh yeah that does look bad,” Sebastian told him, taking his arm and holding it gently. “But we can wrap it and ice it so it can rest. And at least it’s not the hand you write with right?”
“Right,” Kurt agreed. “I’m sorry Seb. I would’ve called but they broke my phone. I passed out and I guess they eventually left but when I woke up it was already pretty late so I started driving back here but my wrist… and it was far away… and…” Kurt’s voice broke off and he became overwhelmed and started crying again. “I’m so sorry,”
“Kurt you have nothing to be sorry for babe,” Sebastian assured him while bringing him into a hug. “I’m just sorry for not being there.”
“It’s not your fault,” Kurt told him, embracing the hug. “Can I change?”
“Yeah,” Sebastian said, letting Kurt go. “Go ahead,”
Kurt got off the bed and went over to his draw to pick out a pair of clean clothes before going into the bathroom to change. A few minutes later he came back out in dry clothes and went back over to Sebastian, hugging him again.
“I love you,” Kurt told Sebastian. “I really do and I’m sorry that I’m like this. I don’t want to be this way,”
“No Kurt,” Sebastian said. “You’re perfect. You really are and I don’t want you to change one bit. You’re cute and talented and smart and kind and you’re the best person I know. It’s not your fault everyone’s an asshole,”
“Do you mean it?” Kurt asked, sincerely.
“Every word. I love you too,” Sebastian assured him, giving him a kiss. “I’m so glad I met you and I promise, I’m never going to let anyone hurt you ever again,”
“I know you won’t,” Kurt said. “I’m tired,”
“Wes, David and Thad should be back soon but I guess if you want to we can lay down until they come back,” Sebastian suggested and he laid down with Kurt in his bed, his arms wrapped around the smaller boy.
Kurt was the best thing that had ever happened to Sebastian and he was damned if he was going to mess up what they had going on. From the moment Sebastian met Kurt that day when they had bumped into each other, from the moment he looked and met eyes with Kurt, he knew he loved him. And he was lucky that Kurt loved him back. And he wanted to hurt anyone that had ever hurt Kurt in the past and he wanted to protect him at all cost. And he was going to do that no matter what he needed to do. Kurt meant that much to him.
They fell asleep in each other’s arms and didn’t hear when Wes and Nick knocked on their door. The boys opened the door to find Kurt and Sebastian asleep and debated on whether they should wake the pair up or not.
“Aww, look how cute they are Wes,” Nick cooed. “You can’t possibly think about waking them up now,”
“Kurt needs to be looked at,” Wes explained. “They can be cute again once he’s fixed up,”
“Since when are you a doctor Wesley?” Nick huffed. “Let them sleep. Kurt’s probably exhausted as it is and you blabbing on and on about god knows what isn’t going to make him feel better. You can take care of your patient in the morning,”
“Fine then,” Wes said, rolling his eyes. “Let’s go,”
The boys softly closed the door and left Kurt and Sebastian to sleep peacefully. Wes just couldn’t believe what was happening to Kurt. He had heard from David about Kurt not eating when he got stressed and then that incident at Regionals with his old friends and now someone had tried to kill him. It wasn’t fair. Kurt was the most innocent, kind person he knew and to learn that he had so many people that hated him and that wanted to hurt him made him upset. If it was because Kurt was gay then people really needed to grow up and learn that hating someone because of the gender they loved was ridiculous and made no sense. And if it was because of Kurt’s personality then everyone was crazy. The poor boy needed a break and in the end, that's why Wes had decided to let him be.
It was now December, Kurt was attacked a month ago and he was still dealing with the effects of his attack. Sebastian and the rest of the Warblers had carried out their promise and hadn’t told anyone about what had happened that night but they were still considering it. Kurt was a mess and they meant that with all respect.
At first Kurt had gone on acting like everything was fine. His behavior was normal (or normal for Kurt anyway) and he stayed close to the Warblers and Sebastian. He didn’t leave the school not even if someone went with him but that was understandable. But then he had a nightmare.
Trent was the first one to wake up when he heard a high pitched scream coming from the other side of their room. He shared a room with Thad who was the next person to wake up and they walked out of their room into the common room to see a sleepy eyed Nick and Jeff also awake.
“Did you guys hear that?” Trent asked, rubbing his eyes. “Someone screamed,”
“Yep I heard it,” Jeff said, rubbing his ear. “It was definitely Kurtie, he’s the only one who can scream that loud,”
“Do you think we should check on him and Seb?” Thad asked. “To see if they need help,”
“I guess,” Nick said and the four of them walked over to Kurt and Sebastian’s door. Jeff knocked on the door.
“Seb? Kurt? Are you two okay?” He asked.
“Jeff, get the fuck in here now,” He heard Sebastian yell and he quickly opened the door and walked in, the other boys following behind him.
“Why did Kurt scream?” Nick asked.
“I don’t fucking know,” Sebastian yelled, getting out of his bed. “He screamed and then he ran in the bathroom and he won’t come out,”
“Well have you considered your choice of words Sebastian?” Trent asked and in return received a pillow thrown at him. “I guess not,”
“He had a goddamn nightmare,” Sebastian said, still cursing but lowering his voice some. “Before he screamed he was mumbling and he said his dad’s name and the name of his bully, Karofsky,”
“Oh the poor thing,” Jeff said, sympathetically. “Is this his first one?”
“I don’t know,” Sebastian groaned. “Why the fuck do people have to mess with him? He’s been through enough,”
“Seb,” Trent said. “I think you should check on him,”
“Right,” Sebastian said, walking over to the bathroom door. “Um… if you guys could like, leave that’d be great. I don’t think he’s going to want an audience right now,”
“Of course,” Thad said. “Tell us if you need anything and take care of him,”
The four boys left the room and Sebastian knocked on the bathroom door. “Kurt, are you okay in there? Can I come in?”
He pressed his ear against the door to hear muffled cries coming from the inside and sighed before opening the door. He found Kurt kneeled down in the corner, hugging himself in a tight ball, crying. The scene was heartbreaking and made Sebastian admittedly rush over to him to give him a hug.
“He was right there,” Kurt said, shaking. “He was right there Seb, he wanted to kill me. He almost killed me,”
“No he didn’t Kurt,” Sebastian said, tears welling up in his own eyes. “He’s not anywhere near here, you’re fine I promise. No one’s going to hurt you,”
“What did I do wrong?” Kurt asked, more to himself than to Sebastian. “Why do they all hate me Seb? They hate me so much.” He said through sobs.
“They don’t matter babe,” Sebastian assured Kurt. “I love you and the rest of the Warblers love you and that’s all that matters right, the people that do love you?”
“I miss them,” Kurt said. “I miss my friends and I miss my dad and I messed everything up,”
“No you didn’t. You didn’t mess anything up babe. You’re perfect. Please stop crying, you’re making me cry,”
“I’m sorry,” Kurt said, looking up at Sebastian and wiping the tear that fell down his face. “I love you,”
“I love you too,” Sebastian said, laughing when Kurt brushed off his tear. “And I always will,”
“Ok,” Kurt said softly, “I don’t want to go back to sleep,”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Sebastian told him “You can lay down with me and we can watch a movie ok? You can pick,”
“Ok,” Kurt said again, standing up with Sebastian and leaving the bathroom. They both got into Kurt’s bed, under the blankets and snuggled close together before Sebastian grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. He flipped through the channels until Kurt settled on a movie that he had never heard of before and they both watched the movie together, neither falling asleep. Once the movie was over Sebastian got an idea and dragged Kurt out of the bed, pulling him over to the window and opening it to reveal a beautiful sunrise.
“Look at that,” Sebastian said, sighing happily to himself as he hugged Kurt from behind. “Isn’t it beautiful?”
“Yeah,” Kurt said, smiling. “I love it,”
“And I love you,” Sebastian said, snuggling into Kurt’s neck and kissing him.
“Forever?” Kurt asked.
“Forever,” Sebastian assured.
“I love you too,” Kurt assured him back and they spent the rest of their morning in each other’s embrace watching the sunrise and for a moment Kurt thought he was going to be okay.
But Kurt and everyone else was soon to realize that Kurt was wrong.
It was winter break and everyone in Kurt’s dorm decided to stay at Dalton for the holidays since their families worked during the holiday and they decided that being with each other would be more fun. So they spent their break watching Christmas movies and drinking hot chocolate or singing Christmas carols or playing board games or doing puzzles. Kurt joined in on the movies once in a while but kept to himself for the most part and resorted to writing in a journal.
It wasn’t your typical teenage journal that was actually a diary full of secrets and gossip about one’s life. It was just a notebook full of random words that were written in Kurt's neat handwriting. Kurt’s logic for doing this was that it calmed him, just seeing the word neatly written in pen on a blank sheet of white paper. He could write words about how he felt but for the most part he wrote the things that he liked.
My friends.
Sebastian.
Singing.
Cats.
Clouds.
Coffee.
Watching the sunrise with Seb.
Writing.
Taking walks.
Reading.
Going to my classes.
Flowers.
Grass.
Trees.
Things along those lines. Just things that Kurt loved about his life. He was just trying to focus on the positives rather than the negatives. But sometimes that proved to be really difficult for him and one day was very difficult to deal with.
Sebastian had woken him up early that day to tell him that he was going out to get some things that he needed from the store and told Kurt that he would be back soon. Kurt said okay before falling back asleep and when he woke up his body went into a state of intense panic. Just the sight of the other side of his bed, empty when Sebastian usually laid there and waited for him to wake up threw his whole day off. He tried not to let it bother him too much so he got up and got ready like he usually did before grabbing his blanket and his notebook and walking out into the common room. He was thankful to find the rest of his friends were already awake, continuing their Christmas movie marathon by watching “Elf” and laughing at the movie. They greeted him and he greeted them back before sitting down in an empty chair and trying to pay attention to the screen. It wasn’t working out though. No matter how hard he tried not to think about Sebastian and how he had been gone when he had woken even though he already knew that Sebastian wouldn’t be there, the more he thought about other things.
His dad.
Finn.
Carol.
His family that sent him off to a private school because they didn’t want to deal with him.
Rachel.
Mercedes.
Quinn.
His old friends.
His old friends that hated him now.
Karofsky.
Azimio.
Bullying.
Slushies.
Locker shoves.
Dumpster dives.
Kissing.
Disgusting kissing that tasted awful.
Kissing that made him cry, that made him hate himself.
Kissing that made him feel so disgusting and awful that he wanted to hurt himself.
Fag.
Fairy.
Traitor.
Disappointment.
Waste of space.
Should just kill himself already.
This is what he found himself writing in his notebook and soon there was no trying to think about the positives because the negatives were pushed to the front of his brain and he couldn’t get rid of them. He felt tears come to his eyes and not wanting to cry in front of everyone but then not wanting to be alone, he got up out of his chair and went to sit down on the floor. Behind the couch. Under the table.
Why Kurt picked a table to sit under, he didn’t really know. He just needed a confined area of space that was for him only but he didn’t want to go back into his empty dorm room, he wanted to hear his friend laugh and he wanted to hear the movie so he chose the table. He tried to breathe but it didn’t really work, the air wouldn’t come into his lungs. He silently cried, his pen shaking in his finger and his body wrapped around him as he tried to calm down and tried to think about the positives. But nothing good came. So he tried to shut his mind off. He tried to clear everything out so that he didn’t have to think about anything and closed his eyes shut.
He didn’t know how long he had been sitting there but he was relieved when he heard the door to their room open and heard familiar footsteps walk into the room. He wanted to get out and run into Sebastian’s arms but something inside him told him not to and kept him in place.
“Where’s Kurt?” Sebastian asked, taking off his scarf and coat.
“Under the table,” Wes said casually.
“What?” Sebastian asked confused as he walked over to the table and peered down to see Kurt sitting in a ball covered in a blanket. “Why did you let him sit underneath the table?”
“I don’t know,” Jeff said, still paying attention to the movie. “He seemed like he had his mind set on sitting underneath the table so we let him sit under there. Besides, who are we to tell him what to do? Is it a crime to sit under a table?”
“No,” Sebastian sighed. “I guess it’s not,”
Sebastian reached out to grab Kurt’s hand to pull him out from underneath the table when he noticed the notebook that Kurt had been writing in. Kurt hadn’t really seemed to notice his presence and Sebastian picked up the notebook, reading what Kurt had most recently written.
“Oh Kurt,” He said softly, looking back down to see that Kurt was shaking and that his face was stained with tears. “What happened?”
Kurt only shook his head.
“Come on. Let’s go,” Sebastian said, motioning Kurt to take his hand so he could get up. Kurt took his hand and Sebastian pulled him up before getting an idea. He looked up above his head and smiled, mischievously to himself.
“Look what we’re standing under,” He said in a sing-song voice. “Mistletoe,”
“Kurt looked up and then looked back to Sebastian with a perplexed look, not connecting the two things together. That was until Sebastian dipped him back and kissed him passionately on his lips. Kurt kissed back and they stayed like that until the Warblers turned around and caught them in the position they were in.
“Eww gross,” Trent said, throwing a pillow at Sebastian.
“Get a room Seb,” David groaned, burying his face into another pillow.
“You two are worse than Nick and Jeff,” Wes complained before turning back around to see Nick and Jeff snuggling together, eskimo kissing one another. “Never mind, I take that back,”
“That’s what I thought,” Sebastian smirked before tilting Kurt back up and leading him into their room. “Don’t interrupt us,”
“Trust us, we won’t,” Thad assured him before Sebastian closed the door.
“So are you okay Kurt?” Sebastian asked, turning around to look at his boyfriend. “What happened?”
“I don’t know,” Kurt whispered, looking down like he was ashamed of himself. “I woke up and you were gone and I know it’s stupid because I knew you weren’t going to be there but it still freaked me out for some reason and I got upset and I didn’t know what to do. I got dressed and I tried to pay attention to the movie that everyone was watching but I kept thinking about you and then I started thinking about everyone else and instead of writing down things that I liked, I started writing the things down that I didn’t like. And then I got really overwhelmed and I couldn’t breathe and so I got up and sat under the table because I didn’t know where else to go but… I’m so sorry Seb. I know that it was stupid of me to get so upset but I don’t know what happened,” Kurt explained, rapidly.
“Hey, take a breather babe,” Sebastian said, walking over to Kurt and rubbing his back. “It sounds like you had a panic attack. But you’re alright now okay?”
“Okay,” Kurt said, hugging Sebastian. “Please don’t leave me right now,”
“I won’t,” Sebastian promised him. “I promise. So do you want to watch the movie with them or…?”
“Can we just stay in here?” Kurt asked.
“Yeah of course,” Sebastian said before walking over to Kurt’s bed and laying down in it with him. They snuggled up with one another like they usually did, wrapped in blankets and in each other’s embrace and this time Sebastian picked a movie.
“I love you Sebastian,” Kurt said, smiling up at his boyfriend. “I love you so much,”
“I love you so much too Kurt,” Sebastian smiled back.
Kurt had resorted to a different method to manage his stress… running. He knew it probably wasn’t the best thing to do seeing how little he ate but then again, was really anything he ever did a good idea? He didn’t think so. So running was his new thing.
He felt free when he ran, like there was nothing holding him back or there was nothing weighing him down. When he ran he didn’t need to focus on all his problems or the things that bothered him, all he focused on was moving his feet in front of the other one and his breathing. He could run for hours if he wanted to and one day he actually did.
It had been a bad day for Kurt. He had had two exams and a project to present in his classes that day and then a Warbler practice after lunch and he felt like he needed to relax. So he went out after dinner and ran. Some of the other Warblers went out with him and watched him as they sat on the bench and talked with one another.
And Kurt ran. He lost track of time but he could tell that it was getting late when he noticed that the sun was setting and he would’ve stopped but he was on a roll. It felt good to him, to push his body through all the pain and sweat. Yes maybe it was a bad idea to run to the point where you’re in pain but it wasn’t like the pain that he felt when he was shoved in a locker. The pain felt good so he didn’t stop.
“What are you guys doing out here?” Sebastian asked Jeff, Nick and Trent as he walked out to the track and saw the guys on the bleachers.
“Kurt’s running,” Nick said, pointing over to where Kurt was on his probably hundredth lap around the track.
“Shit, you idiots,” Sebastian hissed. “How long has he been like that?”
“Like what?” Jeff asked. “He likes running,”
“He looks like he’s going to fall over Jeff,” Sebastian said, irritated.
“Oh. Well we’ve been out here since dinner which was at six,” Trent said, thinking out loud.
“And it’s around eight right now,” Nick added.
“So that means it’s been two hours,” Jeff said happily. “Woo, Kurtie’s really good at that,”
“Oh my god,” Sebastian groaned before jogging over to Kurt. “Hello babe,”
“Hi,” Kurt said, shortly, out of breath. “What are you doing here?”
“The better question is what are you doing here? It’s been two hours since I last saw you and I miss you,” Sebastian said, giving Kurt puppy dog eyes.
“Sorry. I knew it was getting late but you know… it’s just been a stressful day,” Kurt said.
“Oh,” Sebastian said, his face dropping. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I prefer running,”
“For two hours straight. Is that even healthy?”
“No but neither is being stressed out so I take what I get,” Kurt shrugged.
“Well what if we find a better way to get rid of your stress,” Sebastian suggested slyly. “We could make out,”
“Seb,” Kurt whined, although he did smile.
“Please,” Sebastian begged. “You’re so cute and I haven’t seen you all day. I love you,”
“Fine,” Kurt smirked. “But I’m taking a bath first,”
“Okay let’s go,” Sebastian said excitedly, taking Kurt’s hand and dragging him off the track.
They went back to their dorm room and Kurt showered and got ready for bed and then the two boys got into bed and cuddled up with each other. Kurt kissed Sebastian and Sebastian kissed back and they stayed like that for a while before Sebastian pulled Kurt into a hug.
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” Sebastian asked him. “I just ask because… I mean you could’ve changed your mind and I want you to know that I’ll listen to you,”
“I’m okay Seb,” Kurt assured him. “I just had a lot of work to do today and I'm not used to having so much. I was always on top of my work at McKinley, I was at the top of my class but here it’s just a little harder. But I got it done so I don’t have to worry anymore. I just wanted to run and I guess I lost myself a little too much,”
“Oh,” Sebastian said, rubbing Kurt’s back. "Well if you ever need help you can always ask me,”
“I know Seb,” Kurt said. “But thank you. For… just everything Seb. It means a lot to me,”
“Well you mean a lot to me,” Sebastian smiled.
“So do you,” Kurt smiled back.
Nick, Jeff, Wes and David were all in the common room doing a puzzle when Sebastian and Kurt walked in, hand and hand and stood facing each other with their foreheads pressed against each other.
“Why don’t you just go lay down and I’ll be in a minute, okay babe?” Sebastian told Kurt who nodded his head and wiped some tears on his face as he walked into their room.
“What’s wrong with Kurt?” David asked curious.
“He’s sick,” Sebastian said, rubbing his eyes. “He’s got a fever,”
“Oh, should I get the nurse?” Jeff asked, standing up.
“No, he’ll be fine I think,” Sebastian told them. “I don’t think he’d like that since he’s not really a people person. I’m just going to lay down with him and maybe he’ll sleep it off,”
“Oh okay,” Jeff said, sitting back down. Well tell me if you need anything,”
“I will,” Sebastian said before walking into their room to find Kurt curled up in a ball on his bed.
“You feeling alright babe?” Sebastian asked, rubbing Kurt’s back.
“I don’t feel good,” Was all Kurt said back.
“I know you don’t, you’re burning up. Do you want anything?” Sebastian asked.
“A hug,” Kurt told him and Sebastian laughed a little.
“I mean like medicine or something Kurt,”
“You don’t want to hug me?” Kurt asked, tears in his eyes.
“What no,” Sebastian exclaimed, laying down admittedly and hugging Kurt. “I always want to hug you Kurt, I love you. I just want to make you feel better,”
“I hate being sick,” Kurt pouted. “It’s not fair, I never get sick,”
“Well you just have to take care of yourself more Kurt. You’re stressing yourself out too much, it’s no wonder you aren’t feeling good right now,”
“I’m sorry,” Kurt whispered. “I really do try, it’s just hard,”
“I know you’re trying,” Sebastian assured him. “And I know it’s been rough for you but you’re doing really good, trust me,”
“I trust you,” Kurt told him. “And I love you too,”
“I love you,” Sebastian said, kissing Kurt’s forehead.