Archive of Our Own

It’s a safe haven for them both. The benches on the docks, looking out over the ocean, are a place of no judgment. A place to talk. Or just sit next to each other. No snarky remarks, no snipes, no anger. They can just... be. 

It’s not really clear how the docks came to be the unofficial safe place for an Evil Queen and a Savior. 

But it all begins the first time they meet here by sheer coincidence, which is after Emma breaks the Dark Curse, and Snow and Emma return from the Enchanted Forest. After Regina had forcefully absorbed and quelled the curse that was supposed to kill both her nemesis and her blond daughter. The ordeal exhausted her. However, what hurt her way more than the remnants of a powerful curse was the way her son didn’t even look twice at her when he got his birth mother back. Or, that’s maybe not entirely true because after David was awoken from the sleeping curse, Regina did get a dutiful hug before they all headed out for dinner. Without her.

She’s always on the outside, looking in. It shouldn’t hurt so much because it’s been like that her entire life, but it did. This time, it was her own fault. She was the one putting up the damn curse inside that well, influenced by Rumple. This time, her son has ample reason to loathe her.

The pain searing through her chest because of that realization had brought her to the docks. She hadn’t been able to go home, where there were memories of her and Henry, not when his rejection was so fresh and she needed a place to breathe. It stung like crazy, and she’d felt her throat and chest tighten. And then, someone suddenly sat at the other bench. Regina had desperately tried to pull herself together, not wanting to show any weakness to anyone in this insipid town, and then she’d heard it: “Things will get better.”

Regina looked up in disbelief, eyes shining with treacherous tears. “Henry hates me,” she spat at Emma. “He’s the only person in this godforsaken town that I care about, and he doesn’t want me anymore.”

Emma shrugged. “He’s a kid. He’ll come around. He might be a stubborn donkey right now, but he loves you. And you know,” she added, with one of the corners of her mouth pulled up, “it helps that you saved me. Thanks for that, by the way.”

Regina could’ve made a snarky remark, but she hadn’t. It hadn’t felt right, not with the surprisingly empathic response she’s received from someone she’d considered an enemy. 

"You’re welcome,” she had finally replied. Again . But something shifted that day - it was almost like there was a connection. Something that’s most unwelcome, Regina scoffs just thinking about it because she doesn’t want to have any feeling but outright loathing for this woman who’s ruined everything.

And yet, it’s the start of something odd, yet soothing for the both of them.

~*~

The second time they meet at the docks is the morning after their first encounter. The morning after everyone’s woken up in their own beds, save Henry, whose bed in the mansion has stayed painfully empty.

It drives Regina back to the docks, hoping the sound of the water can calm her raging emotions. But the weather is dull and gray and she can’t see past a few yards ahead and she paces up and down the docks to quell the anxiety in her stomach, but it doesn’t help and she ungracefully drops on one of the benches.

“Hey.”

Regina’s head snaps up, startled. It’s Emma. Dressed like she’s out for a run, blond manes pulled back in a bun, approaching in a casual jog. She has a frown on her face. “Did you ever go home?”

Regina snorts. “Of course I did. I don’t need to sleep at the docks like some kind of homeless person,” she says, dignified. “I have a very comfortable mansion with an even more comfortable bed. Why are you running?”

“All the exercise I got in the Enchanted Forest leaves me restless,” Emma replies, a little out of breath because of the exercise. “And you know, I have to keep my condition in order to chase bad guys.”

Is that a joke? Regina blinks.

Emma’s lips curl up in a smile - is she mocking her? - at which point Regina would gladly smack it off, but Emma tilts her head and continues to surprise her as her face changes into a more serious expression. “Listen, they’re throwing a welcome back party for us at Granny’s tonight,” she says, placing her hands on her hips and stretching the muscles in her calves. “You should come.”

Regina scoffs in surprise and frowns. “They don’t want me there.”

“ I want you there. And believe it or not, so does Henry. You deserve to be there. Rescuing us and all.” Emma doesn’t wait for an answer but jogs off again, leaving Regina alone with her thoughts while she stares over the waves in the distance that slowly make their way towards the pier. Yes, she will go. For Henry.

And she does, spends some time with her son who maybe not quite hates her entirely, suffers the foolish glances and remarks, leaves early and when Emma follows her outside, she takes a chance of asking if Henry can come home. She’s a fool to get her hopes up, of course, and feels betrayed by Dr. Hopper’s indiscretion in the process.

And then, the cricket is killed, and everyone believes that Regina has killed her own doctor. Once again, she finds herself all alone. It is a familiar feeling, but at the same time, not so much because despite all the enmity, she hasn’t been alone for a long time. But now, even Dr. Hopper’s dog apparently points at her as being the killer and Regina teleports towards the docks in despair after the Charming clan tries to arrest her.

She paces up and down, anxiety stuck in her throat, tears of frustration burning behind her eyes and her mood matches the crashing waves that slam into the pier and the picked-up wind that howls around her and forcefully tugs on her coat and hair. It’s not fair , she laments, not after she’s been trying so, so hard. Sure, she’d been angry at the doctor, and even though it might make sense that all fingers point towards her, she’s far from the only villain in town, and it hurts that after everything she’s done, it doesn’t seem to matter.

And then Emma there too, and Regina’s both surprised and at the same time, she isn’t, because moments before Emma wanted to arrest her for murder, and of course she would go after the only suspect this fucking town will ever have. She narrows her eyes, readies herself for yet another fight, lifts her hand to ready her trademark fireball when-

“I know you didn’t do it.”

The brunette snorts in surprise. She hadn’t expected that. “How can you be so sure?” Regina isn’t. Sure, that is, that Emma means what she says. She eyes her warily.

“Regina…” Emma offers her a lopsided smile, but she is on guard - her gaze flicks to Regina’s curled fingers before her sincere green eyes flick back to Regina’s dark brown. “With you, I always know when you’re lying. And you’re not. You’re being set up.”

Regina, who’d never had anyone in her corner since her father died, doesn’t know how to respond to it. Surprise and wariness color her features, breath catches in her throat upon this revelation. Her hand falls. She’s not sure if she’s being tricked into believing that the savior is on her side or that Emma truly believes it, and folds her arms in front of her chest and raises her chin. Then she asks distrustfully, still not clear about Emma’s true intentions: “How?”

Emma mirrors her frown, leans against the railing opposite from where Regina sits. “Pongo’s not exactly a reliable witness. Besides, his memories were off. He knows you. He didn’t know this image of you.”

“So,” Regina says, head slightly tilted. “You’re not here to arrest me?”

“No. And I knew you’d escape.” Emma smiles confidently at her, and Regina can’t help but return the smile, albeit a little cocky. It’s that confidence that plants a seed deep inside Regina’s stomach - a seed that tells her that maybe she isn’t all alone. That maybe there is someone in this godforsaken cursed town that cares to listen to what she has to say. Believes in her. Hope is a treacherous thing, Regina knows, and she’d be wise to distrust Emma’s motives, but she finds that she longs for someone who trusts her. Even if it’s Emma. Or maybe it can only be Emma.

She inhales deeply, tries to keep her breathing from shaking but can’t keep the tremor out entirely. 

“And I want to help,” Emma goes on, mercifully ignoring the tremble in Regina’s breath, “But as none of the others believe that you’re innocent, we have to be careful.” She watches Regina’s face carefully now and seems relieved when the brunette slowly nods in agreement. 

“There are only two people who could’ve pulled this off,” Regina says, sitting down on ‘her’ bench.

“Gold is one,” Emma agrees, sitting down on the other one. “Who’s the other one?” 

“My mother.” 

They both need to let the news that Cora might have crossed realms sink in. 

But it sinks fast because not long after, Cora does surface. And Cora does what she does best, tricks Regina into believing she does everything for her daughter, and lulls Regina into believing that they do have a chance at reconciliation. But it doesn’t last. Cora dies by Regina’s hands, led by Snow’s, and after, a shocked Emma seeks Regina out at their safe haven. 

Regina is unhinged and heartbroken because no matter how horrible Cora’s been to Regina, it’s still her mother and she wants to break things, murder Snow, give everyone what they deserve, unleash the Evil Queen to wreak havoc on this godforsaken shitty town. Instead, a sob escapes from her throat.

It’s her mother, and yet, it feels wrong to cry about one of the most powerful, self-centered witches she knew, but Regina can’t help a few tears leaking from her eyes. And it hardly surprises her that an arm slips around her shoulders, pulling her close, allowing her to bury her face in Emma’s shoulder. The blonde utters nonsensical but comforting sounds while Regina silently cries for a mother she never really had and is now lost forever, to the background of soft cobbling waves.

They don’t speak about it afterward, but there’s a silent understanding that the docks have become a place for them to talk. To mourn. To be there for each other. A safe haven, indeed.

However, it takes a while for them to meet again after that. Because overheard conversations of the Charmings scheming to go back to the Enchanted Forest and to leave Regina behind, undermine Regina’s determination in wanting to change - why bother when it’s all for nothing, she laments, and she relapses because of it, finding a trigger deep down below the town to end it all. And there’s a ghost of her past catching up with her, a pirate’s betrayal. Regina is kidnapped, tortured and right before she accepts her death, her arch nemeses rescue her and before she knows it, Emma and Regina are saving the town from the failsafe because Regina might not be strong enough but they sure as hell are strong enough together. And then, Henry’s kidnapping and abduction to Neverland, their journey there, eventually leading up to Pan’s curse - All events that get in the way of another get-together at those two benches looking out over the ocean. For a moment, a ripple in time, the benches are even lost in existence. Vanished from the land without magic.

Until everything - and everyone - returns. It takes a year of lost memories (Regina) and a year of new memories (Emma) for them to return to their safe haven. 

All is as it once was. The benches are still brotherly standing together. They still both have their preference on where to sit. The air smells the same as if no time has passed. And yet, Regina laments, everything is different than before. They’ve changed. Henry doesn’t remember her which hurts like hell. And there’s that pesky little addition to her once-controlled town - 

“You and the pirate, huh?” Regina says softly while staring out over the ocean. She stands up from her bench and moves to lean against the railing, elbows placed on top and fingers laced together as she faces the ocean. She hears shuffling right before Emma joins her. There’s a long silence as the wind plays with their hair as if it’s trying to make the subject lighter. 

“It’s easy with him,” Emma finally says. It almost sounds like an apology and it hurts Regina’s heart for a reason she doesn’t quite understand. Emma doesn’t owe her anything. Emma doesn’t belong to her. But still - “He doesn’t deserve you,” she can’t help but say. She will never forgive the pirate for aiding in her torture and doesn’t understand how Emma and the two idiots can move past it so easily.

Emma shrugs, but it seems she’s a bit uncomfortable. “It’s safe,” she quietly says. “I don’t have to reveal too much. He doesn’t ask too much. It doesn’t cost me… anything.” 

Regina covers her hurting with a raised eyebrow. “That’s awfully calculated of you. It’s more something that I would do, instead of you.” But it’s really not. Not when it comes to love. Regina feels everything intensely. She hates with a passion but loves the same way and could never just… settle. Deliberately being with someone because it’s safe and convenient? Not really her style.

“Yeah, well. We’ll see how it goes,” Emma replies with a tone of voice indicating that she really doesn’t want to talk about it anymore.

And it goes, because Regina meets her soulmate soon after and is dying for a second chance. On love. On life . Even if she still doesn’t fully believe that she deserves it. She pours as much of her heart and faith into it as she can and ultimately, is betrayed by the very person who she trusts the most - spoiler alert, it’s not her soulmate - when Emma falls through yet another portal and stupidly brings back Marian with her. And when Emma follows a raging Regina to the docks, Regina teleports away, unable to listen to whatever Emma has to say. The treachery leaves a bitter taste in her mouth. 

Emma surprises her, though, with her persistence and honestly, Regina doesn’t even know why she is surprised, because when has she ever left Regina alone? But Emma follows her into her vault, tells her she wants to be her friend, says that they’re unique, or maybe even special. And Regina, as a single butterfly flutters in her stomach, can’t do anything else than saying that no, she doesn’t want to murder Emma. It’s a start, Emma says with a tiny, hopeful smile, right before leaving her alone to her thoughts.

The same evening, they find each other again at the docks - there wasn’t any plan to meet each other, there never is. Sometimes, it’s like they just… feel when the other needs them. Tonight, Emma’s already there, knees pulled up and arms firmly wrapped around them.

“Are we… okay?” she tentatively asks, and Regina sighs, sitting down on her usual spot. She’s not entirely sure, but here, at this bench, she can’t be angry. 

“I don’t know, Emma,” she honestly says, and her heart sinks lower than it ever did after Marian returned when she sees how Emma’s shoulders slump. “I’m sorry.” 

“I hope you’ll forgive me one day,” Emma quietly says, staring out over the water. “But I have to admit… I’d probably do the same thing again if I had to do it over. It’s just… who I am. ” Her jaws are tense and lips are downturned, and Regina hates herself for causing it - which is odd because only half a day earlier, she would probably feel content about it because hey, let her feel what Regina’s feeling, right? 

But the stupid butterfly in her belly causes other feelings too and Regina isn’t really sure what to make of it. It was better when she just hated Emma for taking Robin away. Regina has a history of hating herself, but visibly hurting Emma takes her self-loathing to a whole new level. 

“You’re an idiot,” she mutters, and Emma, despite everything, snorts. Regina didn’t even know whom she called the idiot - Emma or herself -, but given the response, it doesn’t matter.

“I know,” Emma says, “And really am sorry. I meant what I said though. I hope we can be friends - again because I’ve always seen you as a friend.” 

Regina frowns in disbelief. “I punched you in the face. Can’t imagine you really liked me then.” 

Emma smiles and stands up, starts to slowly pace up and down the benches, unable to sit still. Regina quietly follows her with her eyes, her own hands folded in her lap. “Well, maybe not at that very moment. Or when we just met in general. But you know, you and I are much alike. There’s a burden on both our shoulders that we really don’t care much for. You’ve got the Evil Queen’s load, and I have the Savior’s weight which I could care less about. I think it makes us both loners. And because of it, we connect.” She stops suddenly in front of Regina and tilts her head. Reaches out one hand to touch Regina’s shoulder but halts, halfway. “I mean… I do feel a connection. Do you?”

“Yes. I do,” Regina murmurs after a small pause, and she brings her own hand up to meet Emma’s. Her breath hitches in surprise when she feels the tingling sensation in her fingertips, palms, when their hands meet. Realizes that they don’t really… touch . And when they do, it’s usually with gloved hands. Or Emma’s hand grabbing her arm, covered by shirts or coats or other types of clothing. Oh, and there was this one hug of comfort, after Cora’s death, at the same location. But skin-to-skin contact, not so much. Apart from the punch in her face, maybe.

But never like this.

Regina stares at their joined hands. Feels the softness of Emma’s palm while warmth spreads from her fingers, her hands, to her arms and in the direction of her chest and her heart rate goes up, up, up. And though she feels Emma’s eyes burning, she doesn’t want to look up to meet that intense, green gaze. She can’t. Regina is confused but a little voice inside her whispers, at the same time she’s not. And she quickly gets up and lets go of Emma’s hand because she desperately wants this to remain a safe place and therefore, she can’t be here right now because she knows she’ll do something stupid. She thinks she hears Emma call out to her as the purple cloud takes her away, but she cannot be sure.

They never talk about what happened at that particular moment. Emma ignores it and Regina chooses to do the same, not wanting to disrupt what they do have. Ignorance is bliss, and Regina embraces in all ways she can.

Things change dramatically when they learn that Marian is in fact Zelena and Snow and David reveal their not-so-heroic behavior of stealing Maleficent’s child and placing all of Emma’s darkness inside the baby. Emma needs Regina, now more than ever, even though she declares she doesn’t need a babysitter, and she takes Emma on a road trip that teaches them both more about the other. And they find Lily and return with her, but not before Regina has vehemently told Emma that coming back from killing someone is hard as she points the gun at Lily. “Trust me, I know,” she throws at her on that road and Emma withdraws (Regina takes a breath of relief).

So, Emma doesn’t kill Lily. But it doesn’t stop her from killing Cruella, as the villain in her turn threatens to kill Henry. A kill that sends a shockwave through Storybrooke, because this is Emma. Their savior.

And Emma disappears soon after. Regina knows - can almost feel where to find her. And she does. The blonde sits on her bench, bent forward, elbows on her knees, and gazes ahead, darkly. “I’d have done the same, you know,” Regina offers quietly. Emma’s head snaps up, looks at Regina through narrowed eyes. 

“I know you would’ve,” Emma murmurs and somehow, even though it’s merely an acknowledgment of what she just told Emma before, it stings. Does Emma still see her as the murderer she once was? There’s no need to cloak any of it. Not here. Not at their safe haven, and Emma doesn’t lie so it’s the truth. But Emma smiles strained when she adds, “We would both do anything to keep Henry safe.”

They would. And, Regina realizes in a moment of clarity, she would probably do the same if it comes to Emma. It is a somewhat unsettling thought that doesn't leave her for a long time. It hadn’t been that long since they hated each other’s guts, right? But events leading up to here and their growing understanding of each other have shifted the balance. Regina tilts her head as she looks at Emma, who looks so lost, and then she gets up, sits down next to her, and carefully wraps her arm around Emma’s shoulder. Emma stiffens immediately, but Regina doesn’t withdraw. She sits next to her… friend, because that’s what they are, and waits, while she offers comfort and warmth. 

Emma’s eyes are red-rimmed, her face is pulled into a frown and she’s as stiff as a board, but after a few minutes, she breathes out soundlessly and lowers her head. Rests it on Regina’s shoulder. And despite the severity of the situation, one fluttering butterfly in Regina’s stomach becomes two. Three. The cobbling waves break the silence, the wind plays softly with both their hair, and for a moment, there’s nothing in their safe haven but them and some comfort, and short puffs of warm breath from Emma in Regina’s neck.

And it takes an author and his curse, a near-death in a make-believe land in which she rushes after a soulmate that should have been forgotten long ago, that she realizes it’s not Robin she wants to die for in the end. When she opens her eyes on Main Street, Storybrooke, and realizes that it’s not Robin she looks for first, but Emma, it is a shock. They’re friends, right? Best friends, even, and they share a son - it’s natural to want to look out for each other. It is blatant denial but Regina feels confused and can’t allow it to be anything else than that.

She doesn’t quite know what to do with this new information and doesn’t really get the time to ponder over it or even go to the docks because the next thing she knows is that the darkness whirls around her, invades her body and mind until Emma - foolish, foolish, brave Emma - swings the dagger into the coiling black vortex and claims the darkness as her own because Regina worked too hard to have her happiness destroyed. 

Six weeks pass in Camelot before they’re back at Storybrooke, and nobody knows what’s happened when Regina, late at night, comes to the docks, desperate for answers. Emma looks sickly pale, hair in a tight, white bun. “I didn’t know if you’d be here,” she says, mildly surprised but at the same time, relieved that Emma still wants to seek her out here. Apparently, she still feels the connection they talked about before, darkness or not, and somewhere inside her chest, the thought soothes her.

“I’m not a different person. I’m still me,” Emma stiffly says with a voice that sounds an octave lower than her regular voice, but she’s not fast enough in hiding her own surprise of encountering Regina. “The darkness doesn’t change me. It only amplifies what’s already there.”

What’s already there? Stupidity? Regina wants to snort, but she doesn’t because Dark One or not, she’s right - it’s still Emma. The docks are still their safe haven, even though there’s so much that Regina wants to say. “Why?” she finally says. “Why did you sacrifice yourself for me?”

Emma tilts her head - Regina hates the way she looks, all clad in leather and hair and face as pale as snow. It’s ironic, her being Snow White’s daughter and all. “Like I said,” Emma says, voice low and monotone, “You worked too hard to have your happiness destroyed.” 

“I don’t even know what that happiness is, anymore,” Regina confesses and her jaws snap shut because whether it's a safe place or not, Emma is the Dark One and she should never have the mental ammunition to shoot Regina down on any other place than the docks. Emma narrows her eyes.

“You saying I sacrificed myself for nothing? Well, fuck me.” There’s a hint of amusement in that low voice that surprises Regina. 

“Not for nothing,” Regina says, trying to steer away from her unintentional confession. “We both know what I would have been capable of, had the darkness picked me. And even though I can’t remember the past six weeks, I’m sure you’ve wreaked less havoc than I would have.”

“How are you so sure about that?” The amusement is gone, and all that’s left is the darkness which sends a shiver down Regina’s spine as Emma’s eyes darken and narrow.

“I’m not,” Regina says. “So tell me. Tell me about the missing time. Tell me why you won’t want us to remember.”

“No,” Emma simply says. And that’s that. She disappears in a whirl of dark smoke, leaving Regina behind in frustration. 

And then there’s dream catchers and memories and two Dark Ones and even more of them. And in a blur of anxiety and despair, Hook does the only right thing in his entire life, sacrifices himself for Emma and Emma is normal again - as normal as she can be after being the Dark One, after losing and burying her boyfriend.

It should have ended there. But Emma wants to find Hook after Rumple’s reinstated as the Dark One, says his sacrifice has been for nothing if she doesn’t try, and of course, Regina goes with her. Offers her help - not for Hook because she could care less about him - really, he got what he deserved. And like she said before, he’ll never be good enough. But she goes. For Emma. Always for Emma. There’s a tug on her heart when they enter the Underworld that’s the same as theirs but at the same time, it’s really not, and in which everything is colored red. 

~*~

And they find Hook but he doesn’t return with them because their hearts cannot be shared. Soon after, Hades kills Robin and it leaves Regina angry and devastated. On top of it all, the insipid pirate is back in the blink of an eye, salvaged by Zeus of all deities. Weeds never die, she bitterly thinks, lamenting her own loss as she stares out over the ocean, body pressed to the railing, her face chiseled by the cold wind freezing the tears on her cheek. Her heart clenches hard, takes her breath away.

Robin was her soulmate, because of sprinkled fairy dust long ago and god, she’d wanted him to be her true love so badly but he wasn’t, she knows now. Robin was her way forward, her way out of the darkness. He was her safety net. A chance of normalcy. Of family. She knows it’s not really Robin she wants - she’s known that for a while now. She’s known since the author’s story nearly killed her. Has known it in Camelot and thereafter. Has accepted it while they were venturing into the Underworld. But maybe, Robin would have been enough. It is what she would have wanted to settle for. 

Suddenly, she recalls a conversation she once had with Emma on this very bench. It’s safe , Emma had said about her early relationship with Hook, and Regina had replied, That’s awfully calculated of you. It’s more something that I would do, instead of you. And she realizes that she had. Which makes it even worse because then Robin didn’t have to die. If she hadn’t held onto that safety net, Robin wouldn’t have been in her office with her - hell, he probably wouldn’t have even gone to the Underworld with her. He’s dead because of her. Angrily, she tries to blink the new tears away that well up in her throat, but not before one treacherous drop leaks from her eye and falls on her cheek. 

Something moves in her peripheral vision. It’s dark, the docks are only lit by one lantern, but it’s enough to reveal a presence. 

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Regina replies glumly without looking up. 

“For dragging you down there. For Hook returning. For Robin - for everything.” There’s sorrow in Emma’s voice which for some reason, makes the frustration inside Regina gnaw a little harder.

“Robin’s death is not your fault,” Regina retorts calmly - or at least, as calmly as she can. “And need I remind you - I went willingly. I mean, wasn’t it your whole point to raise your pirate back from the dead so you could be together again? You should be happy .” Regina is bitter - once again, Good prevails over Evil and she’ll never be free from that particular stigma. Maybe she should never be. But for once, for once she would like to be the receiving party. Or at least, not have the difference between them so stark. So black and white.

“I’m still sorry.” 

“He’s dead because of me. You have nothing to feel sorry about,” she snaps, and the silence that follows lingers on. No matter where Regina goes, she laments, the darkness that lingers inside, follows her every move, waiting for its chance. She can’t escape it. Like she tells Emma later, in New York - she’s trapped. Trapped in this in-between world of Good and Evil. Always trying to be the better one, while one foot is still stuck in the past and ready to lure her back in. And because of it, she scoffs, she doesn’t deserve any light.

But then, suddenly, there’s a way out. A potion to split herself from her evil half and she impulsively takes it in the hopes of being worthy, of being good - only to realize it’s a grave mistake soon after. And Emma’s being wished by her evil half into a whole new universe and Regina can’t do anything else but follow her there (she didn’t know Emma sings, but the princessy version of her apparently does). Regina’s heart hurts when Emma doesn’t recognize her at first and is surprised when Emma snaps out of it at Regina’s near-death, and they find a way home, to their real son - they always do. Regina starts to feel that together, they can do anything.

“How’s the hand?” Regina asks one night, and she sees that Emma hadn’t expected her at the docks. Or maybe she is and she’s still a little jumpy from her fight with Gideon. The night has all but fallen and Regina was too restless to stay inside, visions of princess Emma still fresh on her mind.

“Less trembling now I defeated Gideon.” Emma smiles, nods in appreciation as she raises it. “How are you?” she returns the question and turns around, back leaning against the railing and tucking her hands in her pockets.

Regina sighs. “Someone should’ve stopped me,” she says, “on that rooftop. Splitting myself wasn’t the answer. I mean, I’m still miserable, and worse than that, even - I don’t even feel like myself, anymore.”

“I thought it was what you wanted,” Emma quietly replies. “It had to be your decision. I wanted to support whatever decision you made. If I had thought you’d have any doubt, I would’ve stopped you.”

“Well,” Regina scoffs, “We both know that we never get the easy way out. And here we are, stupid enough to believe we can. We never learn, do we?” There’s a hint of self-loathing evident in her voice - the majority of it rages through her system because she knows better. There’s never an easy way, not for her. Never was. She grabs the railing, so tightly that her knuckles turn white and she grits her teeth.

Emma’s touch is tentative, but shocking nonetheless as the soft pads of her fingers fold over Regina’s hand and squeeze slightly. Regina’s head snaps to their hands and her breath catches in her throat - they never really touch, she remembers - and for a moment, she freezes. Or maybe she’s just relishing in the tingly feeling that spreads through her body, that warms her heart and soul, that causes the butterflies to flutter and lets them multiply. There’s a thickness in her throat which she can’t seem to swallow as the tenderness of that simple touch has tears prick behind her eyes. 

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Emma says, and lets go again as if she’s burned herself and maybe she has because Regina’s own hand feels scorched. “We’ll fix this. We always do.” There’s a confidence in Emma’s voice that Regina doesn’t feel. But she trusts Emma with all that she is.

~*~

Regina finds out Hook proposed to Emma and she’s not at all prepared for the way the floor seems to fall away from under her feet. She needs but a second to recover, tells Emma she’s happy for her, she really is, but instead, she is shocked, enraged, because it’s not the way it was supposed to go and it feels like she’s losing Emma, which plummets her stomach through the ground, towards the center of the earth. Her heart clenches hard, then starts to ram forcibly against her ribcage in agony because no, no , this is a nightmare, isn’t it? She knows her face is falling and she hopelessly tries to hide the despair in her eyes, but she fails miserably - she can’t hide behind the stoic wall. But Emma is flustered, waits for a reaction from her and she does the only thing she can think of to hide it all, and pulls Emma in a hug because she can’t bear the thought that Emma knows.

And when she wraps her arms around her, when Emma briefly rests her chin on her shoulder, which causes helpless tears to sting in Regina’s throat, she realizes there’s more to those initial butterflies she felt in her stomach than she originally let on. 

Regina Mills loves Emma Swan. The words play on repeat inside her mind like a taunting song. She has for a while now but has denied it for so long and here she is, congratulating someone she loves on her wedding - with someone else. 

And it’s her own damn fault for not acknowledging her own feelings - didn’t she once analyze her own feelings that she both hates and loves with a passion? She loathes herself for not realizing it, not wanting to realize it before and here she is - too late. 

But perhaps, she laments, being oblivious to it for a long time wouldn’t have made any difference. She’s always the Evil Queen. Emma’s always the savior. Fate would never have it, and she’s forever doomed to always stand on the outside, looking in.

Her heart is broken, and she knows Emma was never hers, to begin with - but maybe, even if she can’t fix her heart, she can fix something else. She turns her anger and self-hate and all the feelings she can never express to Emma towards her other half and she fights the Evil Queen, ends up fixing them both, and vows Emma will never know about what swims beneath the surface of Regina’s being. Instead, she wants to be the supporting friend and vows Emma will have her wedding the way she wants it despite the Black Fairy’s threats.

And yet... 

“Do you love him?” she can’t help but ask Emma a few days before the wedding, in a scarce moment of peace between all the arrangements and the troubles their latest villain is causing. Emma joined her a few minutes ago, but it’s like they’re both a little at a loss for things to say. The silence rippled between them like a wave that went on and on and on until Regina couldn’t take it anymore. And she can’t not ask -  it is a question that’s lurked in her mind for a while, even before the goddamn proposal that has shaken her world to the very core. 

The sun has just set, dusk is settling in quietly. The wind is absent, as if it too, is holding its breath for the answer to Regina’s question. The sea is almost like a mirror, taunting Regina with her own reflection when she looks down over the rail.

She can’t sit next to Emma anymore - she can’t even look her in the eye right now. It’s too painful, and she’s too scared to reveal things that should stay hidden. 

“Yes,” Emma says after a few beats. “It’s all I ever wanted.” But the words sound a little mechanical. Rehearsed. And it riles Regina up. Frustrates her to no end because Emma deserves the world - one that Regina is unable to give her, but at least she should have it handed to her by someone else than that worthless excuse of a pirate.

“Is it?” It’s out before Regina knows it and she instantly wishes she can take it back.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Emma’s sharp voice asks from the bench behind her. She’s forgotten how defensive Emma can get when she feels called out - or when she is being called out. At the same time, she likes the spirit Emma shows. The raised chin, and, when Regina finally does look at her, the defiant spark in her green eyes. It reminds her of almost forgotten days. The days of Are you Henry’s birth mother? and everything they went through thereafter - a stark contrast to the sometimes meek woman in flowery dresses that Emma’s turned into. It makes Regina’s heart jump and squeeze at the same time because Emma - any form of her - is well out of her reach.

“Nothing. I shouldn’t have said that.” Some secrets should be kept hidden. “I just want you to be happy. You deserve that. Don’t…” She swallows, clears her throat when her voice is on the verge of breaking, “Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.”

Emma’s eyes search her face and Regina turns her head to look out over the ocean. “I promised you a happy ending,” Emma murmurs, “I’ve never forgotten.”

“Maybe. But focus on your own, first.” Because honestly, if there’s only a sliver of love inside Emma for the damn pirate, Emma’s happy ending will be way, way more in reach than Regina’s ever will be. Honestly, she can’t imagine how anyone could ever be happy with the cockroach Emma now calls fiance, but if it’s what Emma wants (she’s not sure, but she doesn’t want to go against Emma’s wishes), Regina complies. It’s not that she would deserve the Savior anyway, herself.

“I should go,” Emma suddenly says, and before Regina can stop herself, she briefly turns her head around to see her. She hasn’t really looked at Emma yet, has kept her gaze away from the blonde because Emma can read her like no other and she doesn’t want to reveal what should stay hidden. When their eyes find each other, Regina realizes her mistake, holds her breath as she tries to keep her face straight, and nods a wordless goodbye. It takes everything to break the gaze and turn her head back towards the endless sea.

But Emma doesn’t go immediately. The movement of air tells Regina that she takes a few steps towards the railing - towards Regina. And Regina turns her head once more, bewildered when Emma is much closer than she’d anticipated, raises her hand, and does something she’s never done before: she softly touches Regina’s cheek. It takes all of Regina’s willpower not to lean into it, not to shatter into a thousand little pieces because somehow, this feels like a goodbye in more ways than one. She does hold her breath, her eyes flutter closed, and she waits for something that never comes.

It’s a fleeting moment, it’s over before it starts and Emma withdraws almost reluctantly - or maybe that’s just wishful thinking on Regina’s part - before she leaves. Regina exhales a trembling breath and allows two, three tears to fall.

~*~

Time passes in a blur. She tries to keep herself busy with trying to find ways to stop the Black Fairy’s curse, spends too much time in her vault, which only causes the wedding to creep up on her almost unexpectedly. And when the day is finally there, she feels nauseous and not ready at all.

There’s this moment before Emma says yes at the wedding that their eyes meet again and Emma’s - fake? - smile falters for a second, and Regina looks away at Henry and smiles at him instead, taking his hand in his to mask the agony coiling in a dark vortex in her stomach. Henry smiles back, then frowns a little upon seeing her face, and she nods at him with a shaky smile, while everything inside her wants to jump up, push the pirate out of the way, and take Emma away from this wretched rooftop. But Emma does say yes, and everything inside Regina cries, “No!” while she swallows the rising bile away. 

There’s laughter and singing and dancing after while Regina just wants to go home and hide and cry in her bedroom for an eternity. But then the clock strikes six, the angry dwarf cries, “It’s here!” and the curse hits, nearly ending them all (and honestly, Regina maybe wouldn’t have minded but she’ll never confess it to the others). But of course, Emma saves them all just in time because that’s what she’s born to do, and Hook hugs the blonde so tight that Regina has to look away because she tastes the bile in her throat.

The aftermath of it all makes Regina withdraw emotionally. The Charmings are all around her, nauseatingly happy about yet another win for Good, but Regina feels like she’s barely hanging on to a thread and she needs distance. She is still the mayor of Storybrooke, and goes through the motions of small-town life the best as she can, but falls back into the routine she was so long familiar with - a routine she had it for twenty-eight years before the curse broke. Is this it, she sometimes wonders. Is this happiness? 

No, she knows it’s not. Not when every time she sees Emma and her appendix at Granny’s, her heart clenches. Not when every time Hook throws her a smirk, she wants to rip his throat out. Not when every time she is confronted with them, she is being reminded of her own lack of initiative, which has inevitably led to yet another missed opportunity. Maybe it is fate, she sometimes thinks. Maybe she wasn’t supposed to realize what was right in front of her the whole time. Maybe fate wanted her to suffer more. 

Or maybe, she was a blind idiot that didn’t step up when she still had the chance. She spends some time beating herself up over it, but in the end, just grieves for what she can never have - and perhaps never deserved to begin with.

And the docks? Regina doesn’t go there for a very long time. The last time she was there, before the wedding, had shattered the broken pieces of her heart even further. Regina can’t bear the thought of Emma still being able to feel the connection she mentioned years before and seeking her out. There can’t be a connection now. Regina doesn’t need to torture herself even further.

But then Henry graduates and announces he wants to see the realms. 

It’s hard to wrap her head about him wanting to leave Storybrooke. He’s all that she has left - no, that’s not entirely true. The ones that were once her enemies have become her friends, but there’s always this bittersweet edge of certain family members she tries to stay away from. They’re all related to the one she cares for most after Henry - and it never seizes to hurt to see Emma with him . 

In an act of desperation, right after he’s left on his motorcycle and vanishes through a portal, Regina finds herself at the docks once more, striding along the railing, up and down, up and down, as a sob escapes her throat. What’s the point of staying without Henry? Maybe she should’ve offered to go with him, but she knows he would have refused - this is something he wanted, needed to do on his own. And the empty life without him stretches ahead of her, an emptiness in which she is alone, in which the people around her build lives. Henry has been her life for so long, that she doesn’t know what to do without him. Her chest tightens, anxiety rages in her stomach and it becomes hard to breathe and she wheezes, desperate for air - 

Suddenly, there are strong arms around her - Regina never saw her coming - and she’s weak, weak, weak and buries her face in Emma’s neck as she lets go of the tension she’s held on to for so long. Cries ugly, fat tears on the hideous flowery dress of her son’s other mother.

“He’ll be alright,” Emma mutters, over and over again, running her fingers through Regina’s hair and over her back, “He’ll be alright,” and somehow it turns into “We’ll be alright,” and Regina knows they will never really, fully be. She will never really be. She tries to pull back, needing the distance to get her raging emotions and feelings under control, but Emma seems unwilling to let go.

Only when Regina calms down enough Emma releases her, and they sit down, both at a different bench as they’ve done so often before today. Regina’s cheeks are still wet but she’s too weary to wipe them off, too focused on her own pounding, anxious heart, the bittersweet feeling of her son not needing her anymore - anyone not needing her anymore. “I’ve already written him three letters,” Regina says hoarsely and Emma shoots her a sympathetic smile, fingers fidgeting with her wedding ring. Regina can’t bear to look at it. 

“Me too,” Emma confesses and it actually surprises Regina. Emma chuckles when she sees that. “I miss him too, you know.”

“Of course,” Regina says hastily, “I didn’t mean to imply-”

“I know.”

A heavy silence follows and it’s Emma who finally breaks it. “I haven’t talked to you in forever. You haven’t been here in ages. I… I have to know...” Her eyes wander over the railing but never land on Regina. “Are we still okay?”

And Regina wants to cry again, for entirely different reasons this time. She feels her heart crack all over again, but she swallows away her tears. Wishes she could give Emma another answer. “I think… okay is all we can be.” And only here, at the docks, in their safe haven. She can’t give anything else, because it would reveal things that need to stay hidden forever. 

Emma nods with a silent understanding that hurts more than Regina can ever express in words because part of her wants Emma to ask why and what’s wrong. The fact that she doesn’t and accepts Regina’s words, makes Regina’s stomach drop. And when Emma leaves almost reluctantly, Regina pulls up her knees and stares into the waves until it’s too dark to see anything.

She doesn’t know how much her lingering pain can intensify with the power of a thousand suns until Hook one morning barges into Granny’s as Regina’s getting her coffee, announcing Emma’s pregnancy. She nearly chokes on her coffee, feels the cup slip through her fingers, and apologizes to Granny for the mess - who does look a little sympathetic - and gets out of there as quickly as she can.

Henry saves her with his plea for help from one of the lands that resemble the Enchanted Forest so much but has an entirely different take on everything. It takes her mind off things - well, somewhat, because the love-struck pirate joins her and Emma does follow in the end, because pregnant or not, she’s still the savior. Together, they save him. It feels a little like the old Neverland days, maybe, but entirely different - a difference that’s weirdly normal in this strange version of their own Enchanted forest because nothing makes sense anymore, anyway. The little adventure is a welcome distraction to her ever-building sorrow and as a bonus, she gets to hold her son in her arms again. And goodness, time really does move differently in this realm because he’s all grown up while he has only been away for a couple of months, really, and it tugs on her heartstrings.

When it’s time to say goodbye, Henry asks her to stay and it’s a lifeline which she readily takes because there really is nothing for her to go back to, back in Storybrooke. Her heart shatters over and over when Emma and Hook return through a portal and Regina holds Emma’s gaze longer than she should. 

It feels like an end. And maybe, that’s exactly what it is.

~*~

Years go by, and the pain in her heart grows less sharp, is reduced to a dull throbbing in her chest. And there’s Henry’s wedding, and Lucy’s birth, events during which Emma’s absence feels more painful, sharper as if someone’s poking holes in her heart with a sharp pencil. Nobody really does seem to know why Emma isn’t there, despite several tries to contact her. But at the same time, having Henry and Lucy and their new family together heals parts of her wounded heart. Time heals all wounds: maybe that’s partially true.

But of course, it doesn’t last. Of course, there’s another curse, Hyperion Heights, a period of bliss being someone else, until Ivy wakes her up and it all comes rushing back - the curse really was a blessing in disguise, she sometimes thinks while her heart squeezes over and over again until she can’t breathe. Not knowing what she missed was bliss, until it wasn’t. Henry’s cursed heart, the fact that he is in the dark for so long about it all, and she can’t tell him anything. And Emma - Emma’s not here, is not cursed, but where is she? What is she doing? All their forgotten history invades her heart without warning and there are so many questions at the same time that it overwhelms her. Not knowing, not being able to figure it out, not having the answers, and not being able to save her son and not having anyone but Lucy to share this burden with, makes her heart plummet and anxiety claw at her throat every time she stops to think about it. 

And when Ivy’s gone, Mother Gothel and wish-Rumple defeated, the curse broken and, thank God , Henry saved, she needs to keep busy to mend her battered heart all over because she’s still a Queen, and a bit more refined. She sets out to unite all the realms. 

And so she does. 

And Storybrooke is the hub, the center of it all. It feels both good and strange to be home again, she thinks, while she walks down the street towards Granny’s for a much-needed coffee. Her step only falters when Emma exits the diner when Regna is about to walk into the outside area. A memory flashes before her eyes as Regina remembers the first time they stood across from each other right here, like this, at the welcome home party for Mary Margaret and Emma after Regina had absorbed the curse from the well. Back then, Emma hadn’t carried a baby but had taken her son. And back then, Regina had felt resentment, mostly, had only wanted her son back because he was still her child. 

It’s funny how the tables have turned over time, she thinks, as she smiles dutifully. It’s the first time they’ve been so close after all the realms have been reunited and since Regina has returned to Storybrooke. “Hello, Emma,” she says formally, and maybe she just wishes it, but it’s like something flashes in the blonde’s eyes. 

“Regina,” Emma says, and just the sound of her voice makes butterflies flutter. It’s been so, so long - upon returning they haven’t seen each other because Emma had just given birth and to protect herself, Regina had opted to stay away. 

Of course, she knew it was only a matter of time before they would run into each other after Emma would be back on her feet. An awkward silence lingers between them, in which Regina finds herself painfully confronted with all that she hoped for - and someone else has it. The family image is what she’d sometimes pictured inside her head, and the fact that that picture has come true but in a strange, distorted way, well out of her own reach, nearly has her bark out a bitter laugh. Her heart sinks as she watches Emma’s hand on the baby’s back, thumb caressing. The hollowness inside isn’t strange but seems to widen with the simple gesture.

Because Emma is beautiful and, as she sharply tells herself, withstanding the urge to step closer, not Regina’s. With emotions churning inside, bordering on the verge of making her nauseous, she opens her mouth to say something but nothing comes out. She shifts uneasily, shakes her head, but before she can try again, the baby makes a dissatisfied sound. 

Emma smiles wearily. “It’s, um, good to see you,” she says quietly. “But I have to go. Hope gets fussy when I don’t walk with her and she really needs to sleep.” She shoots Regina an apologetic smile.

Regina nods, and she takes a step aside to let her pass. “See you later, I suppose,” she answers and hopes Emma missed the crack in her voice. She wistfully stares at the retreating form of mother and child.

One day, Zelena drags her to Snow’s castle under false pretenses and Snow crowns her the Good Queen. Emma barely makes it in time, with her newborn and her appendix of a pirate behind her. And despite the earlier realization, despite what Regina knows, they hug - one of the few hugs they shared - and it feels like coming home when it shouldn’t. It will always be like this, Regina realizes suddenly. The pull towards Emma will always remain. The butterflies will always dance. The hurt of what can never be will always have a place in her heart. It is something that she just has to learn to live with. She fights the reluctance when she releases Emma. She clings to Henry, wish-Henry, and Lucy, instead. Reminds herself of what she does have and yet, it leaves her wistful. She smiles because she has to. Talks about second chances instead of new beginnings, knowing that the one chance she had wanted to have has slipped through her fingers years ago - all because she wasn’t brave enough to see what was right in front of her.

And when it is finally polite to slip away, she goes to the only place she can think of to clear her head. 

The benches look the same as in her memory and Regina thinks that they should since not a lot of time has passed in Storybrooke. Regina has been gone for eleven years, and here, barely a year has gone by. She walks around them, a finger trailing on the backrest to maybe ground herself a little. And then, she sighs, sinks on her bench as she has done so many times before, stares out over the water. 

She sits there for a while until the sky turns orange and purple as the sun starts to sink behind her. She welcomes the darkness, good queen or not, because it’s familiar and comforts her. The waves cobble softly, their sounds soothing. For the first time in a long time, she feels something resembling… peace.

It doesn’t last long.

"I knew you’d be here,” she hears behind her and it shouldn’t surprise her but it does, and her shoulders tense immediately. 

“Where else would I be?” Regina murmurs and her treacherous heart jumps as Emma settles on her own bench. She clenches her teeth, tries to get her quickened heart rate under control. But absence makes the heart grow even fonder and she gives up.

“You’ve had quite the adventures, I hear,” Emma says a little wistfully. “Henry’s married, Lucy reminds me so much of him… and I’ve missed it all.”

“Yes, you have,” Regina says tiredly and slightly annoyed at the same time. She doesn’t want to sugarcoat it. Wants to lash out, but it’s the docks. With their benches. It’s their safe haven, right? 

But is it, still? It’s been so long that it maybe doesn’t even matter anymore. “Why did you?” she thus asks because she really wants to know. “I’m sure Henry put out messages. We… we all did.”

Regina risks looking up, but Emma’s staring at the now near-black ocean. “He did, apparently,” she replies with a frown, mouth downturned, “but they never reached me. Killian, he… he intercepted them. Worried I would overstrain myself in my… condition. ” She almost spits out the word. “I was pregnant, not an invalid, and most of the time bored out of my skull. Did you know he wanted me to stop working in the sheriff’s department after Hope was born?”

Regina has no patience for this. She doesn’t want to hear about Emma’s complaints about her husband and her marriage, not now. Not here. “I told you before you were too good for him,” Regina reminds her with an impatient gesture of her hand. If she’s honest to herself, Emma’s too good for her, too. And there's that anger, churning in her stomach again. She feels anger towards the pirate, which is a familiar feeling, but at the same time, it’s also frustration over missed opportunities. Anger at herself for never realizing her own feelings until it was way too late. “Why are you here, Emma?”

“We had a fight. He left.”

Regina blinks but doesn’t think too much of it. “He’s attracted to you like a bear to honey,” she scoffs. “He’ll crawl back to you in-” 

“No,” Emma interrupts. “He and I, we haven’t been okay for a while. Maybe we never were.” Emma looks up, eyes guarded. “I told you long ago that he was safe. I… didn’t have to reveal much of myself. I never wanted to, either.” She sighs. “He wanted to conquer me and I guess in a way he did. He won me over. Married me. And I… foolishly, I let him. Once he had me, it was less fun, I guess. Especially when there were things that I wasn’t going to give up.” She shrugs.

“Like your job?”

Emma stands suddenly, which makes Regina’s heart leap to her throat. Emma takes two steps forward and grabs the rail. When she talks, she turns her head a little so Regina sees the side of her face.

“My job. Henry." A little pause. "You.”

“Me?” Regina blinks but is unable to say anything else as the treacherous butterflies, revived in the hug they shared at the coronation, turn into a flock of starlings, raging through her insides. It makes her feel nauseous, but she cannot turn away. Stares at Emma’s back.

Emma’s fingers curl around the railing until her knuckles look white. “We were late at your coronation because he didn’t want us there. In the end, I poofed us over. And I was just in time. I’ve missed so much these past years, this… I just couldn’t... not come.”

Something flutters alongside the starlings that somehow try to peck holes on her insides as if they want to burst out, and Regina folds her hands over her stomach, almost trying to make sure that they’re not really bursting out.

“Henry and I talked and well, Hook’s meddling surfaced and I realized this wasn’t meant to last. I thought safety was all I needed but I really don’t. And whatever this was… it wasn’t ever that .” A muscle clenches in Emma’s jaw, barely visible on the sparsely lit docks, but visible, nevertheless, and Regina can’t help but stare at it. “You should’ve told me,” Emma says next, a mild accusation shining through in her words.

Regina scoffed. “You wouldn’t have listened,” she says and they both know it’s true.

“Touché.”

Regina shakes her head, sags against the bench - 12 years and it is still her bench - and she breathes in and out. In and out.

“I-” she starts, at the same time Emma says “Maybe-” and they look at each other.

“Is this what we’re going to do for the rest of our lives?” Regina then blurts out, a hint of despair clouding her words.

“What do you mean?” Emma’s voice is guarded, and it only adds to Regina’s unsettling feeling.

“Meet up here, at the docks, hang out, share some secrets, hug it out and go our own merry ways? Because if that’s how it’s going to be, I can’t do it anymore.” Suddenly agitated, she slams her hands at the bench and curls her fingers around the seat. Agony twists in a dark vortex inside her stomach, swells up to her throat and brings desperate tears to her eyes. 

Emma is quiet, but she can feel her eyes on her and she’s frustrated and she knows Emma deserves better but she just needs to say it once. Her safe haven is about to be sacrificed but she can’t stay here much longer, anyway. All things end eventually, and well, this is as good a moment as any other.

“I love you, Emma.” And her head snaps up because she needs to see Emma’s response - it’s suddenly very important. “And I know I’m as undeserving as your apparently soon-to-be-ex-pirate but time’s slipping through my fingers enough as it is already and there’s never enough time before the next villain arrives. I don’t expect anything from you, I never have-”

“Do you know how it felt to see you today, all dressed up as a queen?” Emma moves closer and her eyes shine in the last spark of daylight. “Do you know how empty Storybrooke was without you?” She runs a hand through her hair and slowly sinks through her knees in front of Regina. Grabs Regina’s knees to steady herself as she looks up to the brunette.

Regina swallows as she lowers her head to follow Emma’s movements. Emma, who gently takes her wringing hands and untangles them before lacing her own fingers with Regina’s. “It felt like sunshine after a rainy day,” Emma murmurs. “I missed you so much it hurt. And I think…. I think Killian knew that which is why he tried so hard to keep me away from you because eventually, he wouldn't be able to stop me anymore. You know, when I finally realized…”

“Realized what?” Regina whispers, the words all but a breath on her lips.

“That I made a mistake.” Emma’s eyes lock with her own and Regina’s breath chokes. She doesn’t know where this is suddenly coming from. Doesn’t want her thoughts to immediately start to race into all different directions. Instead, she pulls her face into a neutral mask and raises a single eyebrow at her, waiting for her to continue.

Emma sighs. “I was just too stupid and scared to act on it and thought it better to play safe but the truth is….” She pauses. “The truth is that it’s always been you, Regina. I was just too afraid to admit it. It’s always been easier to not feel and go all rational about what it is that I should want and protect myself but…” Her voice falters. 

Something thaws in Regina’s heart and she blinks rapidly - her own confession was one thing, but to have it reciprocated is something else entirely. She swallows, but before she can say anything, Emma continues. 

“I guess that’s a lot of words from someone who never really talked about feelings and stuff, but what I’m trying to say is, I love you too, Regina.”

There’s a silence in which Regina blinks rapidly because she knows she’s done a lot of wishful thinking in the past — it takes a few seconds before the words sink in, to believe that it’s not just something she’s imagining.

Regina exhales with a shaky laugh. “That's… good, I think.”

“Very,” Emma chuckles and rises, sits next to Regina, thighs pressed together, and cups her face as Regina allows herself to touch Emma’s cheeks. 

On Regina’s bench, at the docks - their safe haven for so many years, they share their first kiss. And maybe a few more. The wind tousles their hair and cools down their heated faces as they regain their breaths, foreheads pressed together, right before their lips meet again. The cobbling waves provide a steady background sound, endless, beautiful, like the two souls that connected at this very place long ago and have now finally found their peace, together. 

And, Regina muses when she finally untangles herself from Emma, when she looks into green eyes that haven’t sparkled for so long but now finally do so again, maybe it’s only fitting that this happens here. 

That their safe haven has come to a full circle and is the start of a future together, as well.