Chapter Text
When tragedy strikes unforeseen, we wonder what we could have done to prevent it. But how can you stop what you do not know?
With every rise of Kagome's chest, Inuyasha breathed in.
With every part of Kagome's lips, Inuyasha breathed out.
Perhaps it was foolish to slow his own breathing so that he could match the ebb and flow of her own, but his ears swiveled determinedly to catch any irregularities and Kaede's home was set right in the heart of the village. Noises from beyond the tatami mat still swinging from the elderly miko's exit only served as a distraction in Inuyasha's current objective. From the slow, even thump of Kagome's heart to her languid breathing, he could tell she was deep in the throes of sleep. A slight twitch in his eyes eased the ache behind them from unblinkingly staring at her for so long, but he wouldn't let himself relax for too long. Not now that he knew she was foolish enough to push herself past the brink in order to appease him.
"No." Inuyasha thought, swallowing thickly. Disgusted with the taste of his own failure and derision even when she was in this state. Pins and needles drew his throat taut as if a seamstress was trying to close a gaping hole in a rather stubborn fabric. His nose twitched as he smelt the dryness of the cloth resting atop of Kagome's forehead. Kaede hadn't returned yet and no one approached the hut looking for her. Inuyasha peeked over his shoulder to make sure shadows weren't passing beneath the mat, then scooped the rag off Kagome's forehead. His knuckles grazed her skin for a brief second before he snapped his arm away, as if she were made of fire. Considering how her skin burned she might as well have been.
Inuyasha grimaced as he sniffed the cloth. It smelt nothing like Kagome was supposed to. Though that wasn't surprising, the water soaked into the cloth evaporated awhile ago.
Normally, Inuyasha liked how she glowed. But not like this. Her smooth, fair skin glossed over with the sticky wet sheen of sweat and the tint to her lips was fainter. How could he tell these little things by just looking at her? Scornfully, his thoughts added, "When you didn't notice it before this happened to her."
His grimace darkened. Sparing the sleeping girl another glance, Inuyasha then stood as soundlessly as possible. His glare vicious as he stared down at the wooden boards creaking beneath his feet with every step he took toward the water basin tucked off near Kaede's shelves of jarred preserves. His stomach tightened. Muscles clenched around an emptiness he had no intention to fill, even with the miko's allowance. Unbidden, Inuyasha's lips curled back with a silent snarl as he dunked the cloth into the water with more force than necessary. His knuckles banged and scratched against the wooden walls, throbbing as he held the cloth in a tight trembling fist.
He wasn't weak enough to keel over simply because he hadn't eaten in a few hours.
"But you were weak enough that you didn't notice her needs," a cold voice hissed at the back of his mind and it sounded so much like another he couldn't quite put to words. Still, he felt the twist in his chest as if the wind had been knocked out of him. A pulse of warm heat humming along his forearm dragged him out of his thoughts as he looked down to his fire-rat's sleeve. The cold tongue lashing dwindling away as the heat traversed the luminous fabric, steaming where it came in contact with the portion around his wrist, soaked in the water. Inuyasha drew back his hand, wringing the excess water off the cloth then carefully moving it to his other hand as his robe's sleeve dried itself.
Cold water pooled in his palm, rivulets running down his sleeve flicked aside in his haste to return to her side. Quick-footed steps helping him avoid the older, noisier parts of the floor until he could kneel down by her side. His brows furrowed as he honed in on her cheeks, plump and round like a child's with the faintest dusting of pink along her cheekbones. Relieved, Inuyasha let his shoulders fall then sat down. At least she was beginning to regain her color.
The discomfort in his chest eased as he banked on the hope that It wouldn't be long before she opened her eyes. Words he set aside for her tipped his tongue as he folded the cloth in on itself a few times then laid it across her forehead. Her eyelashes fluttered a little as he pulled back his hands, careful not to move too quickly in case he accidentally woke her. His claws brushed against the soft, flimsy fabric covering her slender shoulder. With nothing to do but wait, Inuyasha busied himself with scrubbing the underside of his thumb along a stubborn streak of dark, gritty dirt marring the white fabric.
He knew it was his own doing and Kagome would complain about how dirty her uniform was when she woke. Absorbed with the task, he wouldn't let himself dwell on what he would do if she didn't open her eyes. A wave of emotion passed over him too quickly for him to take stock of but he knew one piece of it well. Regret. His thumb brushed against her slender shoulder, careful not to touch her anywhere else. This would be enough. Her shoulders rose and fell like the tide with each breath she took, drawing him in and pushing him further from the ledge of his own grief.
"She will be fine," Inuyasha thought to himself in hopes of drowning out all the voices questioning otherwise. How did he know now when he didn't realize it before until he turned around and saw her careening to the side, head a few mere mō from splitting open on a boulder if he hadn't caught her. The scene replayed over and over. Kagome's hazy eyes, lids hesitating with each blink. The tremble in her lips as she shuddered to take another breath. Her voice, too small and quiet to command the kotodama, speaking only his name before she sank into unconsciousness.
Kami, how hadn't he noticed.
A familiar shuffle of footsteps came from the hut's entrance. Inuyasha's head twitched up then turned around to stare at the opening until he recognized the gait. His gaze dipped down to Kagome, fingers slowly unhinging from her shoulder before he leapt to the nearest wall then turned around to press his back to it as he sat down. Warmth from her skin tingled on his own and as he listened to her breaths, he wanted nothing more than to return and watch over her. A few bu were between them but it felt as if she were a world away.
Before he could think longer, the mat swung aside allowing for Kaede to pass through unabated. One-eyed and deceptively feeble, she shuffled out of her straw sandals all while casting an appraising eye around the room. Inuyasha closed his own to avoid her gaze. He knew she didn't blame him for Kikyō's death but Kaede's astuteness in reading him was unnerving. Familiar prickles from her lingering gaze stalled his breathing as it fell out of sync with Kagome's for the first time since they returned to the miko's hut. Kaede blew out a sigh, disrupting the silence uncharacteristically loud and Inuyasha opened his eyes in reply to convey his annoyance to the grizzled miko making her way to Kagome's side.
"Ye must give the child time to recover, Inuyasha." Kaede knelt down with a murmured groan, settling her legs beneath her before she reached for the cloth atop Kagome's head. Her fingernails barely brushed it before she stopped, seeming to notice something. Inuyasha's heart ceased beating as he watched and waited for Kaede to say something. Her single wide, brown eye narrowed as she made a low humming sound, then tucked the comforter up to Kagome's chin.
Inuyasha let out a sigh, both relieved and exasperated. "I am giving her time." He curved his shoulders inward, almost drawing in to himself. Trying to remember how it went until he saw her chest rise and he breathed out in return. ".. It's been almost a day and a half, and she hasn't done anything but sleep."
Honestly, he was grateful for that at least. Only two other alternatives could come from Kagome's slumber. She could awake, refreshed and perturbed at the dissonance between her memories and their current position. Or she wouldn't wake up at all. Inuyasha bit down hard on the inside of his cheek, the fresh sting of pain waking him up. That was not an alternative, or even an option he would even consider. She had to wake up.
When he flicked his gaze up, he was surprised to see Kaede already staring back at him. Her thin black brow raised, almost disappearing into the sweep of grey hair falling across her lined forehead. "Even a hanyō needs rest when injured," she said. "One may also need rest when they have been traveling for days."
Inuyasha scowled, turning his head away. Honestly, why hadn't Kagome simply told him she was tired. Why didn't she say anything when she had been so vocal about it before? It might have cut into their time and camp would be needed, but she could have rested fora moment. Instead, they carried on until he noticed she was further behind him then he liked. Especially for the way she looked. A second later, and he might have lost her.
Idiot, didn't she know that he would give her anything if she asked? Perhaps not right away, but...
He suddenly felt the wear and tear on his heart, the weightlessness of a world-changing revelation.
Maybe Kagome didn't know that. What reason did he give her to think he wouldn't be upset for her needing to take a break once in a while? That he wouldn't be patient with her if she had a desire to do something else. Did she not trust him enough to...
"Kaede-sama! Kaede-sama!"
Inuyasha jerked his head up just as Kaede turned around, rising to her feet. "What is all this..?" She asked to no one in particular, hurriedly padding her way across the floors then down to slip on her sandals. She was out the door within minutes as the frantic calls of her name grew closer, and Inuyasha spared a glance at the swinging reed mat before turning his attention back to Kagome. Outside the door, he could hear two villagers speaking to Kaede while trying to calm one another down. Mentions of a yōkai approaching the village from the eastern trails of the forest near the river, stumbled upon by a few fishermen who happened to see it cross over the water, barely able to escape with their lives.
They must have been part of the group, the smell of salt was heavy in the air.
Inuyasha's eye drifted shut. He could almost hear it. Kagome's gasp, her intrusion in the conversation to understand what was going on. Then he could see it. The way she would turn back to him, an expectant gleam in those warm brown eyes. Beckoning him to help when the thought had crossed his mind but he wouldn't allow himself to act on it too quickly. Not until he knew she was right there with him, and like always she was.
He opened his eyes when the bickering between the villagers and Kaede's placating rebuttals for their silence grew too loud. His attention snapping to Kagome's still form when he heard a quiet groan. Immediately, he was at her side.
"Kagome?" He whispered softly, as he saw her expression changed. Lips quivering and eyelids wrinkled in frustration. Inuyasha scowled, hesitantly extending his fingers until his claws nearly brushed against the cloth. Those idiots and their yōkai problems were going to keep her from getting well at this rate. She was so sensitive to yōki and reiryoku. If only they had time for Kaede to train her as the miko had been bugging him about every time they returned, then maybe...
Inuyasha's lips parted with a sigh as he peeled the cloth from her forehead, rolling his thumb in slow circles between her brows. Wrinkles smoothed out after a few passes and by then the villagers were debating on what they should do. Tranquility interrupted as they went to arms, children scrambling to find their mothers while men banded together. Inuyasha could hear it all but he was focused on Kagome. If she were awake, she would be among them and trying to help. Just as she was doing her best to help him right a wrong years in the making.
".. Don't worry, Kagome.." He would honor what she wanted this time, and swear to listen to her so they wouldn't end up here again. It wouldn't be perfect, he knew, but it was more than doing nothing would solve. "I'll take care of it." Sweeping her hair back from her forehead, he leant down hesitantly then pressed his lips to her forehead. Withdrawing, he laid the cloth in place then took another look at her face - the placidity of her expression returned as she was swept back into sleep.
Inuyasha brushed the back of his knuckles against her cheek with a small smile, then fixed his attention on the hut's entrance.
Tessaiga's dented, golden kashira glimmered in the afternoon light as he emerged from the hut. The two men standing before Kaede falling silent. Their eyes widened at the sight of him, confused awe mingled with fear. When Kaede turned around to him, she seemed surprised but he passed her by with a curt nod. "Let's go, baba."
The stunned men watched him as he passed, while Kaede followed after him asking, "What of Kagome?"
"The sooner we kill this bastard, the easier Kagome can sleep," Inuyasha told her, the path ahead cleared for him as the men banding together to assist Kaede stood at bay. "Come on, it'll be faster if you climb up and we go ourselves."
With a bit of a scrabbling, Kaede was up on his back and Inuyasha turned to face the gawking villagers. A hardened look in his eyes as he said, "If anything happens to the girl in that hut, you're gonna wish that yōkai swallowed you whole." He turned then started off in a sprint, eyes trained on the path ahead of him and the revolting jaki rampaging in his forest.
Kaede's huff passed by his ear. "Ye shouldn't antagonize them with empty threats, Inuyasha."
Inuyasha scoffed. "Not a threat, baba. If anything happens to Kagome.."
He let himself trail off, the implication hanging in the air then flying past them. It didn't need to be said because it wouldn't come to pass. He would keep his promise to her.
Always.