Chapter Text
You didn't understand why Daddy always left.
Dean, your oldest brother, told you that Daddy had to go on business trips and that he couldn't take his children with him.
"Deeaan," you wailed, tearing streaming down your chubby cheeks. You missed your Dad and wanted him to come home. You sobbed loudly as Dean walked over to your playpin and picked you up.
He tried to calm you down by bouncing you up and down but you just cried louder into his ear. He sighed and rubbed your back. "Come on, kiddo. I need you to calm down so you can tell me what's buggin' ya."
"Wa-waddy," you sputtered out in between sobs.
Dean smiled and stroked your long blonde hair. He would have to cut it soon before it grew long enough for you to trip over.
"I can't understand you. Just take a deep breath and try again."
You followed your big brother's advice, deeply breathing in and out. Eventually, you were calmed down enough to speak correctly.
"Dad-Daddy is gone." Dean frowned as the words left your mouth. "And me want to see Daddy!"
"I already told you, Y/N. Daddy is on a h- business trip."
You pouted adorably, causing Dean's smile to return at full force. "You're so cute, you know that?" He bopped your nose and you giggled involuntary.
"Daddy will be back in a few days. Since he is gone though, you get to eat all kinds of sweets!"
Your sour mood turned immediately as Dean mentioned sweets. A huge grin spread across your face and you bounced in his arms. "Really, Dean?"
He smiled down at you. You looked so much like his Mother. Actually, if it wasn't for your hazel eyes, you'd be a spitting image of her. He was sure you would grow up and be just as beautiful as she was.
Getting his mind back on track, he laughed and asked, "Would I lie to my favorite sister?"
You gasped. "You have anodder sister?"
Dean looked at your face. Your eyes were wide with shock and your mouth was slightly open. He brushed the hair out of your face before leaning down to kiss your forehead. "No. You're the only one. And you always will be."
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A few sugar filled days later, John was home, trudging through the front door of the motel dirtied and bloodied.
It was only fifteen minutes past eight, but you were fast asleep. Four days of running around playing hide and seek with your big brothers had finally caught up to you.
Sam was over on the other bed, nose shoved in a book about how to divide easily. Even at his young age, he was ever the bookworm.
Dean was laying down on the bed closest to the window, watching television with the volume down low. You were nestled into his side, right under his armpit. You squirmed when someone on the T.V yelled loudly, but otherwise remained asleep.
Sam had just gotten to the second chapter, and it was so far very interesting, when John had walked in. "Hey Dad," he acknowledged without looking up from his book.
"Hey Sammy.." John trailed off once his eyes landed on his oldest and his youngest cuddled together on the bed. "Sam, why don't you go and buy a soda for me from one of the vending machines near the main building?" He pulled a dollar out and waited on Sam.
The floppy-haired boy sighed as he put his book down. He looked over at Dean and their eyes connected. His big brother nodded and mumbled a 'do as dad tells ya' before he actually got up and took the money from John.
Dean turned off the T.V when Sam left the room and sighed. Obviously John had something to talk about. He looked down at your face as he waited for his father to speak. You looked so peaceful, almost deadlike. Dean knew otherwise though, as he could feel the slow rise and fall of your chest against his side.
"Why isn't she in her pin?"
The harshness of his father's words took Dean by surprise. He slowly lifted his head to look at his father. And instantly regretted it.
"She fell asleep on me and I didn't want to disturb her. It's not big deal-"
"It is a big deal!" John yelled.
Your hand moved to grab Dean's shirt, but you didn't stir.
"Why?" Dean knew he would probably get backhanded for arguing but he couldn't find it in him to care. "She isn't doing anything wrong. She's just a toddler. S'not like she's gonna kill me in her sleep or somethin' " He ran his fingers through your hair , massaging your scalp. The corners of your mouth turned up slightly in sleep.
"Maybe not intentionality."
Dean's hand stilled it's movements. Did his father just...
"Are you kidding me?" Dean raised his voice as anger took over. "Are you actually blaming Y/N for moms death?"
John's expression harded at the mention of Mary.
"Oh my god" Dean shook his head in disbelief. "Why the-"
"Dean?"
Your big brother looked down and saw you staring sleepily up at him. You yawned and flexed your tiny fingers. "Deeean, why you crying?"
Dean touched his face and, sure enough, there was wetness.
You reached your short arm up and wiped your big brother's tears away. Why was he sad? Did he just wake up from a nightmare? Just as you opened your mouth to speak, you heard a deep noise from across the tiny motel room. You looked over and gasped with joy.
"Daddy!" You left the heat of Dean's body and jumped off of the bed, running towards the father you missed so much. You tightly wrapped your small arms around one of his thick, manly legs and laughed delightfully.
Dean watched from the bed as John stiffened and stared down at his little sister. John made no move to pick her up or show her affection.
"Daddy I missed you so much! Dean told me you would be home but I didn't listen to him an' now you're here an' " You quit rambling as you realized your daddy was looking at you with a mean expression. "Daddy?" You took a step back and glanced over at Dean.
John saw the sadness in your eyes from his rejection and forced a tight lipped smile. "Why don't you go outside and find Sammy, Y/N," your dad offered.
Your eyes lit up with excitement at the mention of your other big brother.
Dean tried to protest that letting a four year old go outside alone was a bad idea but John shot him a look that clearly said 'dont'.
John opened the door and you ran outside. "SAAAMMYY! Ready or not, here I come!"
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Sam rolled the soda can between his palms. It had been almost ten minutes since John sent him out of the room so he could talk to Dean. He sighed. It was always something since his mother died. John always found something to yell at Dean about. Sam turned around to walk back to the room. As he started walking, something bit his leg.
"Ow!" He looked down, prepared to shoo away whatever animal had bit him when he saw the mop of blonde hair. "Y/N?"
You giggled as Sam leaned down and picked you up. You liked Sam. He was easier to play with most of the time because he was closer in age than to Dean.
Sam sighed. "What are you doing outside? Do you even know how far you wandered off from the room?"
You reached up and tangled your stubby fingers in his hair and lightly pulling it. It was a habit you picked up as a baby and you did it every single time Sam picked you up. "Daddy said come outside to find you. Daddy gunna be proud of me for finding you so fast!"
Sam laughed and carried you back to the hotel room. When he got to the door, you had already fallen asleep again. Sam placed the soda in between your bodies so he could open the door. When he shut the door and looked around, John was gone.
"Where's Dad?"
"Out. At a bar."
Sam walked over to the beds and offered you to Dean. "She fell asleep on the way back over here." Dean shook his head.
Sam raised an eyebrow. "Dude. Since when do you not want to hold Y/N. You love holding her when she sleeps."
Dean sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Since Dad chewed me out for not putting her back in the playpin 'where she belongs' "
Sam didn't press on the subject thankfully. He placed you in your playpin, giving you a whispered 'love ya cutie' before climbing into bed.
John didn't return that night.