Chapter Text

Act I

Defensive Position

Chapter One

Routines

Noelle

There was something luminescent about Susie. Something about her that just drew Noelle’s eye as they walked down the hallway. Susie was several steps away from Noelle, and the deer wanted desperately to close that distance. She tried to keep her eyes ahead, but she couldn’t help but steal glances at the girl walking beside her.

But after one too many stolen glances, Susie noticed her. Noelle’s breath caught in her throat as she stopped in place, her heart beating rapidly against her chest. Against all odds, Susie smiled and stepped closer to the cowering girl.

“Hey. Noelle, right?”

Noelle swallowed the lump in her throat, hoping it would quiet the butterflies in her stomach on its way down. “Y-yes.”

Susie reached a hand over Noelle and leaned against a locker, pinning her in place. “Don’t worry, I don’t bite.” Susie’s smile turned into a grin. “Not unless you want me to.”

“I… I…” Noelle reached for words, but she couldn’t come up with any. Breathing was hard, and she considered running away. She might have done so, but her legs were made of jelly.              

“You know, I’ve noticed you.” Susie used her free hand to stroke Noelle’s cheek. Somehow despite her size, she was so delicate. “Noticed the way you look at me. And I wanted to say, it’s okay.”

“Susie…” Noelle leaned forward, transfixed on the girl in front of her.

“Yeah?” Susie said quietly, getting closer as well. They were only inches apart, their lips so close to touching.

“I…” Noelle closed her eyes and closed the rest of the distance.

Just as her lips were about to press against Susie’s, an ear-piercing screech sounded. Noelle’s eyes shot open, but she couldn’t see much in the dark of her room. Groggily, she reached over and pressed a button on top of her alarm clock to silence it.

She sighed and rubbed her eyes. Another dream. She dreamt of that moment a lot, almost enough to make up for it never happening.

And it’ll never happen, she told herself. Why was she even entertaining the thought? She couldn’t even talk to Susie, how was she supposed to kiss her? Well, nothing wrong with dreaming, I guess.

Nothing wrong with it, except for the way it made the longing worse. What would it be today? She could keep stealing glances at Susie during class, or she could avoid looking at her even once out of fear of being caught. She supposed she’d find out when class started.

But whatever she did, it wasn’t going to get her ready for school. After taking a moment to stretch, she got out of bed and went down the hall to the bathroom.

As always, a quick shower proved to be the best way to start her day. The warm water washing over her cleared her head. It shook the thoughts of the dream and woke her up for the day ahead of her. She looked over the various shampoo scents she had and chose sugar cookies as the scent for the day. The sweet aroma made her smile as she worked it into a lather, making her just a little hungry in the process.

Once she rinsed, she used the same scent for her conditioner. While she cleaned herself, she sang cheerfully. It was early, but she wasn’t worried about the noise. Her mom would be up already, and there was no one else at home.

She took a deep breath as she turned off the water. There, that’s better. She took a towel from a nearby shelf and dried herself off the best she could. Her fur liked to retain water, but she reminded herself that she wasn’t as fluffy as some monsters, so she shouldn’t really complain. Instead, she kept humming merrily as she dried off, then covered herself with a bathrobe.

She looked in the mirror before leaving the bathroom. That decision came at the cost of her smile, as she examined various aspects of her face, ever looking for the imperfections. Today her eyes settled on her antlers. She seemed to take after her dad more than her mom with them, and she always wished they were at least a little smaller.

She let out a small sigh and set about resuming her morning routine. Noelle liked routines; they took her mind off unwelcome thoughts. She took a few minutes to brush her teeth, trying to avoid looking at her antlers in the mirror the whole time. She rinsed, filled a paper cup with water, and returned to her bedroom.

Near her bed was a table with two prescription bottles, a hairbrush, and a pair of headphones. She opened one of the bottles, took two pills out from it, then did the same to the other. She swallowed all four at the same time, then smiled. It was going to be a good day. She was going to make sure of it.

Next she turned her attention to the hairbrush. Her long hair required a lot of attention, but she didn’t mind. It was something she liked about her appearance, and there was something relaxing about running the brush through it, even if it was hard to brush around her antlers. After that, she dressed herself in one of her usual Christmas-themed dresses, not caring that it was only fall.

This time when she looked in her bedroom mirror, she felt more confident. She put her hands on her hips and smiled, determined to make the most of the day. Maybe I’ll even try talking to Susie.

Noelle lost her composure and giggled to herself. Yeah right!

She left her room and walked downstairs, heading for the kitchen. The light was already on, which was expected. Before she even walked through the open doorway, she could smell the acrid scent of the too-strong coffee her mother always drank. Nevertheless, she smiled as she walked in the room.

“Good morning, Mom,” Noelle said as she picked up a loaf of bread and pulled out two slices. She placed them in the toaster and pressed the switch down.

“Good morning,” Carol replied without looking away from her newspaper. As the mayor of Hometown, it was important for her to keep on top of events.

Noelle pulled a box of cereal down from the top of the fridge and poured some into a bowl. She added milk, then buttered her toast when it popped up. Finally, she got out a packet of sugar and mixed it into the cereal, knowing without tasting that it would be too bland without it.

She returned everything to where she’d gotten it, then took a seat beside her mom. She ate her breakfast quietly, letting her mom read in peace. It was best for both of them that way.

As usual, Carol Holliday looked tired. She bore a large resemblance to her daughter, although the years and the stress of her job had worn on her. She dyed her short hair to keep its nice blonde color, but she couldn’t do much about the wrinkles that had started to show up recently.

Not that she ever let any of that bother her, at least not on the outside. Truthfully, Noelle wasn’t sure what her mom thought of her aging appearance, as they had never talked about it. And she wasn’t going to change that over breakfast; instead, she simply ate her buttered toast and cereal, wondering if she ought to have put a second packet of sugar in it.

After a while, her mom put down the newspaper and finished her coffee. Noelle likewise finished her breakfast, then brought her bowl and plate to the sink. She took a minute to clean them, as well as her mom’s coffee mug, then she followed her mom out of the room.

She decided to chance some conversation. “Anything interesting going on in the paper today?”

“In Hometown? Never.” Carol didn’t smile, but she seemed amused at the idea that something might be going on in their little town. “Today will be another boring day of checking up on city maintenance, maybe see if I can get that flower growing bum to pay his rent. I should just evict him, especially since he has the audacity to talk about running for mayor, but what can I say? I’m a sucker for charity.”

Her mom was not, exactly, a sucker for charity, but Noelle held her tongue on that matter. “Everyone in town loves him. Are you worried?”

“No. He’s a buffoon, and everyone knows it. His most redeeming factor divorced him years ago, and the only reason he even has a house is because everyone loves him. Would look bad to throw him out.”

Noelle nodded. She was happy Asgore was able to keep his house, whatever the reason was. “Dad likes him, too.”

“Your father has his charity cases,” was all her mother would say on that subject.

They left the house, and her mom unlocked the car. Noelle got into the passenger seat and buckled up while her mom got in and started the engine. As usual, she turned the air conditioner on full blast right away, then she pressed a button on her key ring, and the front gate to their estate opened. Carol drove them in relative silence, with the only noise coming from the soft music of the radio.

As with breakfast, Noelle didn’t mind. She held her hands to the air conditioner, enjoying the cold air against her fur, and she didn’t really find herself thinking of much. Even if she did, she would keep it to herself. She didn’t see eye to eye with her mom on many topics, so it was for the best that they kept things relatively quiet between them. And it wasn’t a long drive to school. Really, Noelle could walk, and she did walk home, but it made sense for her mom to bring her on the way to the office.

They arrived at the school without any more words exchanged between them. “Thank you, Mom!” Noelle said as she opened the passenger door. “I’ll see you tonight!”

Carol nodded. “Have a good day.”

Noelle left the car and waved, then made her way into the school building. She greeted the other students as she walked, keeping an eye out for one in particular. She knew better than to expect that today would be the day, but there was no harm in looking for her…

But she didn’t see Susie anywhere on the way to class. It wasn’t surprising, Susie was never exactly the most punctual student. Still, Noelle smiled as she walked into the room. “Hello, Ms. Alphys.”

“Hi, Noelle!” Ms. Alphys greeted. “Early as usual, I see.”

Noelle laughed a little. “Well, you know my mom has to get to work early.”

Ms. Alphys nodded. “So have you finished Dragon Blazers III yet?”

“No, not yet.”

“But it’s so good! It really pushes the envelope of videogames as an artform, the themes of friendship and good vs evil have never been stronger, and it’s easily better than any other RPG on the market today!”

Noelle smiled patiently as her teacher rambled on about the game. They’d been over this before, and they would again, but Noelle pretended that it was a new conversation every time.

“Well, I’ll try to finish it soon then!” Noelle said during a small gap in Ms. Alphys’ monologue. “My dad wants me to bring it to the hospital so we can both play. I don’t think they’d, uhm, really like that. Plugging in a game console to the TV, I mean. But maybe they’d make an exception?”

“For Dragon Blazers III, they definitely should!” Alphys shifted in place a bit. “So… how’s your dad doing?”

“He’s okay,” Noelle said, the same thing she said any time anyone asked. She didn’t like to give the real answer. “Hopefully he’ll be out soon.”

“Yeah, I’m sure he will be. He’s – Jockington! Slow down!”

“Sorry, teach!” Jockington said as he skidded to a halt. For someone with no limbs, the snake was oddly fast.

Noelle used him as an excuse to get away. “Looking forward to the lesson!” she said as she took her seat at the front of the class.

As kids entered one by one, Noelle took out a book and read a little. It wasn’t bad – a story about a teenage monster who went through a portal and came out as a young human – but Noelle was only half paying attention. Every time someone new came in, her head jerked towards the door.

Until the bell rang, and Ms. Alphys shut the door. “Looks like we’re down a couple of kids again,” she said with a frown. “You’d think someone who lives with a teacher could make it on time, but…”

Noelle sighed. Susie and Kris were absent again. She knew better than to hope they’d just be late; the two of them had been absent a lot in the past month. More than they actually made it to class, it seemed.

It was worrying, but there wasn’t much she could do. Noelle made notes for Kris every day that they were absent, and they said they shared them with Susie. Of course, whether either of them actually read the notes, Noelle had no idea…

“Does everyone have their books?” Ms. Alphys asked.

Noelle put away the book she’d been reading and instead pulled out the one that they were reading as a class. Maybe they read the notes, maybe they just took them to make Noelle feel better. Either way, it was what she was able to do for them, so it was what she would continue to do.

“And they weren’t there again today…” Noelle said with a frown.

“Geez, what’s gotten into that kid?” Rudy frowned. “Don’t get me wrong, they never struck me as the star student, but they used to show up for class.”

“Yeah, I know…” Noelle looked out the window. “And Susie, I know she wasn’t the best student either, but she was always in class before…”

It took a second for Noelle to realize her dad was staring at her. “What do you see in that girl, anyway?”

Noelle blushed. Her dad was the only one who knew about her crush, but that didn’t make talking to him about her easy. “She’s just… I don’t know, she’s not afraid of anything. She’s so tough, and there’s something mysterious about her. And, well… she seems kind of… sad.” Noelle facepalmed. “Wait, that’s a horrible reason to like someone! I just meant that there’s something about her that makes me want to get to know her more.”

“Noelle, what are you so afraid of?”

That was a typical question from her dad, who was always trying to get her to toughen up. She suspected it was because he couldn’t be there for her in person lately. “It’s hard to talk to her! I just… what if I say something dumb and blow it? I don’t even know if she likes girls, let alone girls like me.”

“That ain’t what I meant. You said you like her because she’s not afraid of anything. Well, if that’s something you like about her, must mean you’re afraid of something.”

Noelle winced. She hadn’t meant for him to catch on to that. “I don’t know, Dad. It’s not something specific, it’s just…” She crossed her arms and looked at him. He looked so weak, bedridden in a hospital with IV tubes coming out of his body. He’d gotten so thin, and there was no telling what would happen. It certainly painted a very clear picture of one thing that Noelle was afraid of. “I just get anxious all the time. You know that.”

“Yeah yeah, I know.” Rudy leaned back and closed his eyes. “So, done with the group project yet?”

It was good to have a different topic to focus on. “Yeah, we got an A.”

“Of course you did!” Rudy showed her his crooked grin. “You’re your mother’s daughter. Sure as hell didn’t get those brains from me, I’ll tell you that.”

Noelle laughed. “Hey, who finished the puzzles on all the games I got stuck on when I was growing up?”

That got Rudy to laugh too, though it ended in a coughing fit. “How you doing with them now? Not still stuck on Dragon Blazers III?”

Noelle looked off to the side. “I told you, I want to play it with you.”

“Don’t tell me that, tell them that!” Rudy gestured towards the door. “Tell them your dear old dad would feel a lot better if he could take down an evil king with his daughter!”

“I’ll try talking to them again,” Noelle promised. “I should get going though. I’ve got cross-country practice tomorrow, so I have to finish Friday’s homework tonight.”

“You’re working yourself too hard. Believe me, that’s how I got in here.”

“That’s not how you got in here!”

“Oh yeah? You the doctor now?”

Noelle rolled her eyes, then gave her dad a kiss on the head. “I’ll be at practice after school tomorrow, but I’ll come by on Friday, okay?”

“Aww, I was busy tomorrow anyway.” Rudy smiled at her. “Your dad’s gonna hit up the town, you know!”

“Of course, Dad. Love you.”

“Love you too, sweetheart. Say hi to your mom for me.”

Noelle nodded as she walked to the door. “I will. See you Friday.”

“Yeah, see you then.”

Noelle left the room, making her way down the hall and then down the stairs. She walked up to the receptionist’s desk and cleared her throat. She knew the answer, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask. “Uhm, excuse me?”

The receptionist took one look at her and sighed. “No messing with the TVs. We just got new ones, and we can’t afford to replace them if anything goes wrong.”

“Oh…” Noelle looked off to the side and came up with a different tactic. “What if I bring in my own TV? Just a small one I can put on the bedside table?”

The receptionist paused for a moment, then relented. “Kid, I don’t know why you and your dad care so much about those brain-rotting games, but sure. Bring in your own TV, and you can do whatever you want with it.”

Noelle beamed. “Thank you so much! See you Friday!”

“Yeah yeah.”

Noelle left the hospital with a spring in her step. She didn’t know how she was going to get a TV, but at least she had something to go on. Maybe her mom would buy one. It was for her dad, after all, surely her mom would want to help ease his boredom.

If not, she could figure something out. Noelle had a TV in her room, but it was too big to bring to the hospital. Maybe she could trade it in for a smaller one and use the extra money she got to get her dad a new game. That way he could have some choices in what to play while he was stuck sitting around all day.

Her mind worked through different options as she walked home. It would be nice to play games with her dad again. It had been a bonding activity for them as long as Noelle could remember, and she was eager to keep the tradition alive.

Besides, it would be good to have something else to focus on. She loved her dad and had no problem visiting him nearly every day, but it was hard to find things to talk about sometimes. He didn’t have a lot to recount aside from the occasional test, so it was usually up to Noelle to find conversation from her day-to-day life, and that was never that interesting. It led to her talking a lot more about her crush than she usually would.

What do you see in that girl, anyway?

Noelle sighed. He just didn’t know her. No one did. Well, no one aside from Kris. And they became best friends! The first person to actually try to get to know her grew to be friends with her.

Guess I blew that chance. Noelle couldn’t be the first person to try to get to know Susie anymore. Would it have been different if she had? If she had been the one to go with Susie that day, would they have become friends instead? And… and if they had become friends, could they have become something more…?

Noelle shook her head. Yeah, right. Because Susie was just dying to get into a relationship with a shy nerd like her. She could be with a normal girl if she wanted to, and that was only if she was interested in girls. Noelle had often wanted to ask Kris about that, but she always chickened out in the end.

She stopped walking for a moment, looking up at the sky. She watched clouds drifting slowly, but she wasn’t really paying attention. She always chickened out. She just couldn’t manage to force the words out, which was the story of her life.

A gentle breeze ruffled her fur, but it wasn’t enough to make up for the unseasonably warm day, so she started walking again. As she did, she caught sight of herself in a store window. She saw a meek girl who couldn’t even ask her childhood friend about something important to her. What was wrong with her? Why was this so hard?

What are you so afraid of?

Her dad’s words echoed in her mind. What was she so afraid of? Was ‘everything’ an acceptable answer? She was afraid of losing her dad, she was afraid of talking to the girl she liked, she was afraid of disappointing her mom, and just… everything!

Noelle’s house came into view, and she could see her mom’s car wasn’t in the driveway. That was good; she’d be able to do her homework in peace. There were so many things she was afraid of, she’d take any small respite she could.

There was a momentary panic as she patted her dress, but it passed as she felt her key in her pocket. That was good, she wasn’t really in the mood to go to Catti’s house again. She pulled out the key, thankful that this dress had pockets for it to be in, and walked up to the gate.

Rather than using the large entryway her mom drove out of in the morning, she walked up to a smaller door beside it. She unlocked it, went through, and locked it again on the other side. Her mom insisted on keeping things locked up despite the fact nothing bad ever happened in Hometown.

At least the act of shutting the door shut out the rest of the world. There was nothing to be afraid of as she walked up to her empty house, she’d be able to get her homework done and relax.

Although the gate outside was already locked, the front door to the house still needed to be unlocked as well. She opened it, enjoying the slight breeze coming from the already cold house, then she went inside and locked the door again.

Then she deflated. She was home and alone, and there was no one to judge her for it, so she slouched her shoulders and looked at the floor. She kept staring at it as if the patterns on the rug would give her some answers to the questions she didn’t know enough to ask, then picked herself up and made for her room.

Out of the whole house, her room was the only place she really felt at ease, if it could be called that. More that she felt like she could break down in relative peace once that door was also safely closed.

And so, that was exactly what she did. She let her backpack slide off her shoulders and fall to the floor, not caring that it was obstructing the door’s ability to open, then shuffled to her bed, where she fell face first.

Why was she so tired? She had homework to do, and that was important. It hadn’t even been that demanding of a day. She had enjoyed class well enough, and she’d been able to visit her dad.

That sent a spike of guilt through her chest. Did visiting her dad really tire her out so much? It was hard to see him in the hospital, hooked up to machines and visibly weak. But even so, he was her dad, and she loved him more than anyone else in the world.

“I just need to relax for a bit,” she said aloud, if only to break the silence of the empty house. There was another way around that, at least. Her headphones sat on her bedside table, so she picked them up and fitted them into her ears. Plugging the other end into her phone, she opened a music app and let something play at random.

The sound of a cello, low and rich, washed over her. It was soon joined by other string instruments, which gently cradled Noelle and carried her away to someplace nicer. Her dad was coming home for Christmas, the doctors said he was all better.

She smiled to herself and closed her eyes, turning so she was lying on her back. It had been a good day, she told herself. And tomorrow would be too. She couldn’t let these feelings last; it was much better to let the music carry them away.

Chapter Text

Chapter Two

Everything and Nothing

Susie

It had been over a month, and Susie still wasn’t used to the fact that she was now looking forward to going to school. For years, she had acted on a whim whether she was even going to show up to school or not, but now… well, actually, she still usually skipped school, but now it was different.

For one thing, now she actually went to the school building. There were dozens of places she could be around Hometown, but she spent her school days in the school building. That counted for something, right?

Class hadn’t started, so the hall was filled with kids. That suited Susie just fine. She didn’t exactly blend in with the others, who gave her a wide berth, but she wasn’t as conspicuous as she would be standing around waiting in an empty hallway.

She smiled as she saw the second thing that was different now from before. A human walked in among all the monsters. Although they looked right at Susie, neither of them showed any sign of acknowledgement. The human hugged the monster closest to them, then she went off one way while the human went another.

Susie finally smiled as they approached. “Hey, Kris. Ready to go?”

Kris only nodded in reply. They didn’t talk much, but even without words, they had managed to become Susie’s best friend. Susie decided to mimic them in not talking, at least until they were alone.

So she stuffed her hands in her jacket pockets and walked side by side with Kris, heading down the hall towards the back of the school. As they walked along, she wondered what this day held in store for the two of them. Ralsei had been talking about baking them things since they met, and somehow it never happened. Maybe today would be the day.

But more likely Lancer would find some way to derail things, which Susie would be all for, and Kris would go along with without comment. Either way, it was sure to be nothing but good times when they stepped into the Dark World.

And that was, of course, the third and final thing that had changed Susie’s life so drastically. She could go somewhere that she was a powerful hero, where she was respected and liked, where she had friends. It was nothing short of amazing, and it still felt like something out of a dream.

But the thing about dreams? They always end.

Before Susie and Kris could make it to the supply closet that connected to the Dark World, a dictionary floated out in front of them, its covers flapping like a bird’s wings. Which would be, to most people, a very strange sight. But for Susie, her surprise was less because of the strangeness of a floating dictionary and more because of who they were.

On reflex, Susie narrowed her eyes, but she caught herself. No matter how much disdain she may have for their principal, it wouldn’t do her any good to show them that. Instead, she tried her best to look innocent, keeping her eyes forward as she walked down the hall.

“And where do you two think you’re going?” Professor Ox asked.

Susie looked up at them and smiled, as if nothing in the world was better than running into their principal right before they ran off to skip class. “Oh, didn’t see you there. You uh… doing alright?”

They arched an eyebrow, a sight that always looked unnerving on a book that shouldn’t have eyebrows. “I’m waiting.”

Susie frowned and looked at Kris, who radiated a nervous energy despite giving no outward sign of how they were feeling. Then she looked down the hall at the supply closet they were so close to.

That gave her an idea. “You know, Ms. Alphys is always running out of chalk. So we thought we’d…. get some? For her?”

For a moment, Professor Ox didn’t respond. Still, Susie knew better than to think they were off the hook. “Are. You. Serious!? You think I don’t know what you two are doing!? In my office! Now!”

Although it was the last thing Susie wanted to do, she and Kris had no options. After exchanging worried looks, the two of them marched obediently into Professor Ox’s office. The dictionary followed behind them, somehow closing the door despite not having much of a body.

There were two chairs for students to sit in, so they filled them. Professor Ox floated over to their side of the table. They had a chair, but didn’t really need it, just floating over it.

“So. So! SO!” Professor Ox said as they stared at the delinquent students. “Skipping class again!?”

“We were just getting chalk!” Susie tried, but she knew it was pointless.

From somewhere that Susie couldn’t identify, Professor Ox pulled out a folder. It landed open on the desk in front of them. “Then explain this!”

Susie and Kris took a look at it. It was their attendance history, which unsurprisingly did not look good.

She knew it was a long shot, but Susie had to try to say something. “We’ve, uh, been… sick?”

“Un. Be. Lievable! You’ve been sick!? Both of you!? On the same days!?”

Susie looked to Kris for help, but they had their head bowed. The two of them were no strangers to trouble, but this time there was no way out. Susie mimicked Kris, bowing her head as her mind raced for options she knew were not there.

“I expect this from you,” Professor Ox said, and Susie didn’t need to look up to know they were talking to her. “But Mx. Dreemurr? What would your mother say?”

As usual, Kris said nothing. Which was probably not what their mother would say, as everyone in the room was well aware.

“Perhaps I should tell her. She has a right to know what her child is doing.”

“We’ll go to class!” Susie said, realizing there really was no salvaging what they had done, and their only option was to try and convince their principal that things would change going forward. “We’ll go right now, and we won’t skip anymore, and…”

“You’ll be lucky if I let you go to class after this!” Professor Ox said. “You’ll be lucky if you’re in this school at all anymore!”

Susie looked at Kris again, and she could see the desperation under their calm expression. Something inside her solidified. “It was my fault. I made Kris skip class with me. Come on, you know they wouldn’t do that on their own, they’re too good for that! So, you know, just expel me and let Kris go back to class.”

Kris reached out and grabbed Susie’s arm, silently pleading that she back down. She did not.

“Well well well. Sacrificing yourself for your friend, I see.” Professor Ox fixed Susie with a glare. It always unsettled her to look at their principal, especially in the eyes that did not belong on a tattered old dictionary, but she stared directly into them.

And then a miracle happened; their mad principal backed down. “I will let this slide one time. If either of you miss a single day of class from here to the end of the school year, you’re expelled. Got it!?”

“Yes, Professor,” Susie answered, while Kris nodded.

“And I want to see marked improvement in your grades. Kris, you are somehow still passing. Barely. But Susie. You… You! YOU! You are on a short track to expulsion, young lady!”

Susie winced. She knew her grades were nothing to be proud of, and she’d already had some suspicions they weren’t exactly passing marks. And although that was the way they would stay, she knew she had to say otherwise to make it out of that room in one piece. “I’ll pull them up.”

“Good.” Professor Ox looked at a nearby clock. “I suppose since you haven’t skipped class, I won’t need to tell your parents this time. But so help me, you do not want me to have that discussion with them!”

It didn’t really matter if they called Susie’s mom, but Kris was another story. “Understood.”

That seemed to placate the principal. “Well then, get to class before you’re too late!”

Not willing to question their good fortune, Susie stood up instantly. Kris was right on her heels, and neither of them looked back as they made their way out of the room as quickly as they could manage.

Once they were on the other side of the door though, they looked at one another. “Now what?” Susie asked.

Kris shrugged. They looked down the hall to the supply closet that had their escape. The Dark World. Somewhere they didn’t have to worry about class and mad dictionaries. Somewhere they could be heroes, where they had friends, where people wanted them around.

And then something unthinkable happened – Kris turned the other way and started walking. Back to their class, where even their teacher was afraid of Susie. But as much as she hated it, Susie was unwilling to make a run for it on her own. All she could do was shove her hands in her pockets and fall in step beside Kris.

It was a short and silent walk to their class. They were late, but at least they were there. Kris opened the door, and Susie walked in after them.

Immediately, Ms. Alphys gave them a confused look. No doubt she hadn’t expected them to show up at all.

“Oh. Hey there, Kris,” Ms. Alphys said brightly. 

“We late?” Susie asked.

Ms. Alphys’ tone faltered, and she addressed her feet rather than Susie. “N-no, of course not. I, uh, I didn’t think you’d be…” The lizard teacher shook her head. “Never mind! Er, why don’t you two take a seat?”

With no other options, they made their way to their seats. Along the way, Kris’s deer friend beamed at them. “Glad you made it,” she said as they walked past.

Kris chose not to answer, and Susie followed suit. She didn’t really know the other girl, anyway. She’d give them notes for the days they missed, but Susie never bothered to read them over like Kris did.

“Right!” Ms. Alphys said. “So, like I was saying, this week we’ll be going over chemical reactions. It’s, uhm, it’s really cool, so if you’ll all just open your books to page seventy-two…”

Susie didn’t even have her book. Why bother when she wasn’t planning on going to class? She thought about telling Ms. Alphys, but she decided she didn’t care.

But Kris’s deer friend was looking back at them. She raised her hand, and said, “Ms. Alphys? Susie doesn’t have a book. Maybe I could…”

“Huh? Oh, uh, Kris, scoot your desk closer to Susie’s so you two can share.”

Even though it didn’t look like Kris cared much themself, they still did as their teacher asked, moving closer to Susie, who at least had the decency to pretend to look at the open book.

“This really sucks, dude,” Susie whispered once Ms. Alphys was preoccupied.

Kris nodded and slumped in their seat, not paying much attention to the lecture or the book. Susie propped her head up with her hand and zoned out, wondering what they were going to do.

“This sucks!” Susie said again. She’d been saying it for hours, and in all probability, would be saying it for days to come.

Kris, as usual, said nothing.

“What are we supposed to do?” Susie put her arms out, then let them fall to her side. “Just… what the hell do we do now?”

The two of them were in the woods, which was where they usually hung out when they weren’t in the Dark World. It was somewhere they wouldn’t have to worry about running into anyone else, which suited Susie just fine.

As they were walking, they came across a fallen log in their path. Susie gave it a kick, her boot sinking into the rotten wood and splitting it in two. A small cloud of dust and wood particles clouded the air, smelling of moist dirt. “Just… this sucks!”

Kris hooked their hands in their pockets and looked off to the side. They clearly had the same thing on their mind, and considering Susie kept saying the same thing over and over, their silence articulated their thoughts just as well.

Susie sighed and kicked the rest of the log out of the way. There was no sense saying the same thing they both knew, and there was something else she had to say. “You know, I was thinking…”

Kris turned to face her.

“Look, you’ve got your mom and dad and friends and stuff. But me… Man, I had the Dark World. I had one place I got to be someone! And I’m not ready to lose that, you know?”

Kris nodded. She knew they felt the same way, but really, they did have so much more going for them.

“So here’s what I’m thinking: I’ll run away to the Dark World. Just… screw this place, you know? I’ll just leave. And I mean, without me around they won’t hold you to that crap about never missing a day.”

Kris stared at her for a moment, then shook their head slowly.

“Well, what then!? I’m not getting my grades up! I don’t know how I was even scraping by before, and now I’ve missed a whole month of lessons. I don’t know anything about what we’re learning, dude! I’m screwed!”

Kris looked like they were going to say something, but Susie cut them off. “And your grades aren’t much better. You’ve gotta focus on you, you can’t be helping me out. There’s just no hope for me.”

That seemed to give Kris something to think about, as they scrunched up their eyes in contemplation. A moment later, revelation showed on their face, and they held up their hands. Then as Susie just watched, they ran back towards town.

Susie blinked as her only friend ran away from her. She didn’t let it get to her though, just sighing and saying to herself, “Sometimes I wish that kid talked more…”

Whatever Kris was doing seemed to be important to them, so Susie left them to it. She leaned against a tree and slowly slid to the ground, ignoring the way the bark scratched her back.

She felt something pointy under her, so she groped around until she found that it was a pinecone. Shrugging, she took a bite out of it. It kind of hurt to chew, but she was hungry, and it was there.

It made her think of Lancer. She wanted to see him. He was a good kid, and he looked up to her. He actually looked up to her, of all people! She had everything in the Dark World, and here, she had nothing. She was nothing.

Kris could say – or not say – whatever they wanted. The situation was hopeless, and they both knew it. Why should Susie stick around just to get expelled? Besides, everyone would be happier without her. It was no secret that the entire school hated her. Even her teacher was afraid of her, and Professor Ox hadn’t mixed words in their lecture.

No, everyone would be so much better off if she ran away. Even Kris would be. Sure, they might not like it, but they really would have an easier time without Susie. She took another bite out of her pinecone, the sap giving it a strange pungent flavor.

As she finished it off, the only sound was the crunching coming from her mouth and a few birds chirping in the trees. It was almost a peaceful moment, except for the fact that she had such heavy thoughts weighing her down.

Yeah, she would just leave. And everyone would be better off, and she would be somewhere that she could actually feel special and wanted. It was the perfect decision, and it was the one good thing she could do for everyone around her. She smiled at that. They’d never know it, but she would do one good thing for all of them by leaving them alone.

It wasn’t like she didn’t know she was a bad influence on Kris. True, they were far from the golden child of the school, but they didn’t get in trouble like this until Susie came along. And they had other friends, better friends.

And there was everyone else. No more kids flinching in the hallway, no more unfounded fear, not to mention her mom could do whatever she wanted. Everyone would be better off, and besides, no one but Kris actually cared about her.

She stood up and stretched, then started heading home. She had a big day ahead of her in the morning, and she wanted to be ready for it.

Chapter Text

Chapter Three

A Cheery Smile and a Kind Word

Noelle

There was something about running. There was no thinking. There were no anxieties. The only thing that mattered was the world moving under Noelle’s hooves as she pushed herself more and more.

And then there was something else. The sound of a whistle cut through the air, and Noelle skidded to a stop in the dirt track. She panted for a moment, catching her breath now that her coach had given the signal to stop.

When she looked back, she saw Jockington wasn’t far behind. “Whoa, you get faster every day, Noelle!”

Noelle pulled the towel from around her shoulders and mopped up the sweat sticking to the fur on her face as best she could. “Thanks, Jockington. You’re doing really well too!”

“You know Jockington always does his best when Catti is watching!”

Noelle looked towards the bleachers, where Catti was seated. She didn’t seem to be watching much though, as she had her eyes on an open book in her lap.

But something else caught Noelle’s eye. Or rather, someone else. Kris was standing at the foot of the bleachers, watching them.

Noelle smiled. Kris didn’t usually come to watch her run. It was nice that her friend had decided to take an interest in her activities. They really had been opening up in the past month.

“Let’s get a drink,” Noelle said. She wanted to go to the bleachers to see what Kris was up to, but first she led them to the table where their coach was waiting with sports drinks for them.

The large bull wore his usual grin as his racers walked up to the table. “Good show out there!”

“Thanks, Coach,” Noelle said before downing the unnaturally blue drink. It was nice and cold and helped her feel recharged. “Uhm, can I go say hi to my friend?”

He glanced towards where Kris was waiting, then held up his hand with all five fingers pointed out. “Five minutes.”

“Right!” Noelle nodded and made her way over to where Kris was waiting. She showed them a cheery smile for showing up when they didn’t have to. “Hey, Kris. Didn’t expect to see you here.”

Kris looked around uncertainly.

Noelle cocked her head to the side. “Something on your mind?”

Kris took a deep breath, then looked directly at Noelle. As they spoke, Noelle’s eyes went wide.

“Susie could be expelled?” she repeated, stunned by the news. True, she and Susie had never talked, but she still couldn’t imagine school without the other girl. But what could she do about it?

Kris seemed to know, but their suggestion was ridiculous. Noelle blushed just listening to it.

“Tutor her?” Noelle’s hands went to her cheeks, and she looked away. The hours they spent together alone… No, there was no way she could do that. “I… I can’t… Maybe you could ask, uhm, Berdly?”

Even as she said it, she knew that was a stupid idea. Expecting Berdly to work with the delinquent girl… she might as well suggest they ask Professor Ox himself to do it.

Kris put their hand on Noelle’s shoulder, and she met their eyes. They held eye contact for a moment. Susie wasn’t just Noelle’s crush – she was Kris’s best friend. And Kris had been Noelle’s friend since they were kids. They needed her, Susie needed her, or else she might be expelled.

This was bigger than her. What did it matter if she was scared? She needed to do this, she needed to help where she could. Surely Susie deserved that much.

Slowly, Noelle nodded. “Okay. I’ll do it.”

Kris pulled their hand back and gave a thumbs up as a thank you. Noelle couldn’t stop blushing. “So, uhm, I guess I’ll talk to her about it tomorrow?”

Kris nodded, then turned to go. Noelle opened her mouth to ask if they were leaving already, but then she closed it without saying anything. Of course they weren’t staying, they needed to go talk to Susie about this. She was just being selfish.

They gave a wave, so Noelle did likewise. “See you later, Kris.”

As they left, Noelle’s mind raced to the idea of tutoring Susie. She couldn’t even talk to the other girl, how in the world was she supposed to tutor her? But if she didn’t…

Kris’s words echoed in her ears. Susie would be expelled if she couldn’t pull her grades up. And Noelle simply couldn’t let that happen.

It would be tough. On top of having to face her fears, she would have to work it into her schedule. But it would be worth it. It had to be.

“Noelle!” her coach called. “Let’s get back to practice.

“Coming, Coach,” Noelle answered, but she knew her mind wouldn’t be in it. Even cross-country wasn’t going to be enough of a distraction this time.

“Thanks for agreeing to tutor me.” Susie showed Noelle a toothy smile. “I hate to say it, but I’d be really screwed if you didn’t…”

“It’s nothing.” Noelle waved off the gratitude. “I’m happy to help, really.”

“No, it’s not nothing.” Susie reached across the table and grabbed Noelle’s hands. The smaller girl blushed furiously. “You didn’t have to do anything, but you did. For me.”

“Susie, I…” Noelle wanted to turn away, but Susie’s gaze commanded her full attention. She was transfixed, and yet, somehow words still came. “I’m happy to. For you. I’d… I’d do anything for you.”

“Yeah?” Susie breathed, leaning across the table.

Noelle felt the ends of her mouth curling into a smile despite her every instinct being to run away. “Yeah.”

She leaned across the table as well, eyes closed. “Susie…”

The moment held in place for her. Her lips on Susie’s, she felt… she felt… well, she didn’t know what she felt. She’d never kissed anyone, what would that feel like? Wait, that was a weird thought, she was kissing Susie, wasn’t she?

Or… no, no it was another dream. Her eyes opened slowly and she regretted it, the world blurry and unwelcoming as she blinked. Also dark. Too dark. It wasn’t time to wake up yet.

Noelle groaned, knowing that sleep was not coming back. She looked at the alarm clock, which wouldn’t be sounding for almost an hour. She hadn’t slept well, tossing and turning all night, only to wake up after another dream like that.

She slowly rose to a sitting position. What was she going to do? Somehow she was supposed to be tutoring Susie when she was having dreams like that? And if she failed, then Susie would be expelled! It was so much pressure, all when she couldn’t even manage to talk to her…

But she had to do it. She got out of bed and stretched. Her muscles hurt a little from cross-country the day before, but she ignored that. She made her way to a desk, picking up her backpack along the way. She turned on the lamp on her desk and looked in the backpack.

She pulled out her notes and some fresh paper. Then she got to work, making a lesson plan for her tutoring sessions. She didn’t know what subjects Susie would need the most help with, so she had to be flexible, but this way she was prepared for anything.

Besides, it gave her something tangible to focus on. It was easier to manage the fear when she had a plan, so she gladly put her effort into it. As she did, she woke up little by little.

And as she worked, she grew engrossed. She went through all their subjects. Literature would be easy. She didn’t know if Susie liked to read, but she could make the stories interesting for her. Science, that would be a little harder, but the world was so fascinating, and she’d just have to find the right way to show Susie that. History would be a tough one, lots of names and dates to memorize, she’d have to look for some good resources on how to best teach it.

Little by little, she carved out her plans. She was so caught up in it that she was shocked to find herself pulled from her work by her alarm. She glared across the room, but it did nothing to stop the screeching sound, so she got up and turned it off.

Her eyes drifted to the door, and the rest of the house that lay on the other side. She should get ready, but maybe she didn’t have to quite yet. She normally showered in the morning, but on days that she ran cross-country, she showered when she got home instead. That meant she had a little extra time. And she was almost done with the lesson plan…

Telling herself that she’d make it down for breakfast soon, Noelle returned to her work. She just had to decide on how to best tackle algebra. Once she did that, she’d be all set.

It was only supposed to be a minute or two, just some finishing touches, but the lesson proved difficult. Algebra was a challenging subject and Noelle suspected Susie would struggle with the formulas, so it was essential that she figure out the right approach.

Before she knew it, time was running away with her. She became engrossed in numbers and formula, and in putting her lessons on a timetable – though of course she’d adjust the pacing when she saw how Susie did with it.

She was so engrossed that she didn’t even hear her mom walk up to her door. But suddenly, there was a knock, and she jolted up.

She may have knocked, but Carol didn’t wait for an answer before opening up the door and poking her head in the room. “Are you ready? We’re late.”

Noelle’s mouth fell open and she held up her hands. “Oh my gosh! I’m sorry, I didn’t realize… time kind of got away from me. I’ll be right down though!”

Carol backed out of the room, but she left the door open. “I need to leave in the next two minutes.”

“Right! No problem!” Although Noelle could just walk to school, she still scrambled to meet her mom’s schedule. She quickly gathered all the notes about tutoring, making sure to keep them separate from the notes from class, and put them all back in her backpack. She quickly took off her pajamas and found a nice dress to wear, slipping it on frantically.

She grabbed her backpack and ran out the door, thankful that having hooves meant she didn’t have to mess with shoes. She ran down the stairs and found her mom waiting in the living room below.

“Ready to go!”

Carol nodded, then silently led the way out of the house. Noelle would regret missing breakfast later, but for now it was more important to get on their way.

They walked to the car in silence, and Noelle climbed into the passenger seat. She buckled up while her mom got in and started the engine, and she wondered if she should apologize for almost making them late.

It couldn’t hurt, she decided. And an explanation would give her mom a window into her day-to-day life. “Sorry I missed breakfast. I was making a lesson plan for my friend. I’m going to tutor her.”

“Tutoring?” Carol shot Noelle a confused look as she waited for the gate to open. “Other kids are not your responsibility.”

“I know, but she’s a friend.” Noelle looked out of the window as they began driving, wondering why she had decided to talk to her mom of all people.

“This better not cause your grades to drop.”

Noelle frowned. “Actually, tutoring could help with my grades. It, uhm, well, you retain the knowledge better if you teach it to someone.”

“Hmm.” Her mom sounded disinterested. It seemed to placate her though, as she didn’t say anything else against it. Or anything at all. They drove in silence.

Dad’ll be excited, Noelle told herself. She told him she’d visit him after school, and she just knew he’d be thrilled for her. He’d love the idea of her tutoring, not to mention he would know what was so special about who it was with. Of course, she’d have to put up with his teasing, but she would gladly accept that in order to share this moment with her dad.

She caught a sight of herself in the mirror and realized she didn’t brush her hair. She always forgot stuff when she was rushed. Stuff like…

She groaned and facepalmed.

“What’s wrong?” Carol asked.

“I didn’t take my pills.”

“Oh. Well, you’ll be fine if you miss one day.”

Noelle didn’t feel fine. It was stupid, but she could swear that she already felt different for missing a dose. “I can just… take them when I get home, I guess…”

Her mom made a noncommittal noise, and Noelle knew better than to try and get her to care about this issue. She propped her head up on her hand, her elbow on the windowpane. Once again, her mind dwelled on the fact that her dad would care.

But there was no going back to fix it. Even if they weren’t running late, Carol would never do that. No, Noelle had been too airheaded to remember to take her pills, and she would have to face the consequences of that.

It was all that was on her mind for the rest of the drive. She tried to reassure herself that she would be fine if she took them later in the day, and she knew that was true. But she felt weird, very aware of herself in a very uncomfortable way, and she knew that feeling wasn’t going to go away.

When they reached the school, although she didn’t really feel like it, she thanked her mom. No matter how her daughter was feeling, her mom deserved cheer and kindness.

“Have a good day at work!” she said with a forced smile.

Carol gave a little wave. “Have a good day. And good luck with the tutoring.”

It was small, but the comment did actually pierce through Noelle’s worries. Having her mom acknowledge her goings on felt good.

But as she turned to walk into the school, she couldn’t help but feel like all eyes were on her. It’s just one dose, it doesn’t really matter. Nothing different is going to happen, and I didn’t even miss it, really. Just… delayed it. I can take it after school, no big deal.

She knew it was true, but it didn’t help. She ran a hand through her hair to try and smooth out the bits that were sticking up, brushing against her antlers in the process. That made her wince, so she stopped.

She forced a smile as she walked through the halls, but she didn’t greet anyone. She did greet Ms. Alphys as she entered the class, but she made sure to do so from a distance so that she wouldn’t get drawn into another conversation. She wasn’t feeling very talkative.

As usual, she was early for class. All that hurry, and there were no other kids in yet… She could have just walked.

Could have, but she didn’t. So she took a deep breath and sat down in her usual seat. Putting her missed dose out of her mind as much as possible, she pulled out the notes for the tutoring session. She still had to nail down algebra, after all.

She didn’t manage to get sucked into it like she did at home, but it was a distraction, and it passed the time. Little by little, kids started filing into the room, and with each one, Noelle’s heart beat a little faster.

It was the big day. Whether she was ready or not, Noelle was going to have to talk to Susie today. She tried to plan what she would say. Really, she knew it would be a relatively simple conversation, but she couldn’t help but run it through her head.

Hi, Susie! Kris told me you were looking for a tutor. I’d be happy to help!

Really? That’d be great. Thanks, Noelle!

Don’t mention it, I’d do anything for you…

Well… maybe she shouldn’t say that. She giggled to herself and blushed at the thought of saying something like that to Susie.

And then before she was ready, the door opened again, and this time Susie and Kris walked in. Susie was laughing about something, although Kris didn’t look like they shared in the amusement.

Then Kris’s eyes met Noelle’s, and they nodded slightly. It was time. Now or never.

She just… had to get her legs working. Just had to stand up and walk over. Just had to say hi. Just had to… do something.

But she couldn’t. She watched as Susie walked to her desk, Kris looking between the two girls. It was time, but she was frozen.

What are you so afraid of? She heard her father’s words echoing in her head. What would he say?

Hey, doll. How’s about you and me head to the library after school and we get to studying? Who knows, we could learn about this chemistry between us.

Noelle couldn’t keep a straight face as she imagined saying that. Then she noticed the look Kris was giving her, and she blushed deeply.

“What’s up?” Susie asked Kris, then seemed to notice they were looking at Noelle. “If you wanna go talk to your friend just, like, do it? I’m not going anywhere.”

Oh geez, now she had to go talk to her. Noelle slowly rose to her hooves, keeping her eyes on the ground as she did. She made her way over to Susie’s seat, the other girl’s feet slowly coming into her field of vision.

She swallowed and tried to remember what she had planned to say, but it all faded from her mind.

“Uhm. Hi.” Her voice came out small and weak.

“Uh, hey,” Susie said, a note of confusion in her voice.

Noelle’s eyes darted up for a second, and she saw Susie looking at her with a blank expression. At least she doesn’t look offended that I’m talking to her. That’s something.

Since it was too difficult to look at Susie, Noelle looked at Kris. As usual, their expression was hard to read, but Noelle saw something there. A sort of pleading. It reminded her of why she agreed to this. Susie needed this. Susie needed her.

Noelle forced herself to look into Susie’s eyes. “I’m… looking forward to the, uhm, to tutoring you…”

Susie’s brow furrowed. “Uh, what?”

Noelle winced. She was mumbling again, she needed to speak loud enough for Susie to hear her. “I, uhm, I think it’s going to be fun. Tutoring, I mean. Maybe we could figure out how we’re doing that together?”

“Uh… no, I heard you, just… what? Tutoring?”

Noelle looked to Kris, who reached out and nudged Susie. They jerked their head towards the chalkboard, where Ms. Alphys had a lesson written up for them.

“Oh, Kris put you up to this.” Susie shrugged and turned to face them. “I can’t believe I’m the one to tell you this, but you shouldn’t play these kinds of jokes on people. I’m sure your friend wants nothing to do with me.”

“That’s not true!” Noelle said before she could stop herself. Both Susie and Kris looked at her, and she felt her face flushing again. She turned away. “What I mean is, well, you know… I know what happened with the principal and I can help. I know you don’t really know me, and I’m, well, me, but I’m actually pretty good at school stuff. I… I’m sure you just, uhm, think that stuff is dumb, but… but Kris said it’s important, and I… I want to help. You. To study.”

When Noelle turned back to look at Susie, she had her eyes on her desk, and she didn’t say anything.

“Uhm, Susie?” Noelle prompted tentatively.

Kris reached out and put their hand on her shoulder. She barely even reacted to the touch, just giving them the most subtle of glances. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll figure it out on my own.”

“But –”

“Look, it’s nice of you and all, but I don’t want to spend my free time doing stuff like that.” Susie slouched in her chair. “Just… If you’re gonna tutor someone, Kris could probably use it, you know? Don’t waste your time on me.”

“It’s not a waste!” This time, Noelle kept looking at Susie even after the outburst. She felt her emotions rising, it was too much to listen to Susie talk about herself like that. “I want to help, and you need it! Please, just let me tutor you!”

Susie put her head down on her desk, covering her face with her arms, so her voice was muffled as she said, “Look, I don’t want to, okay? Just leave me alone.”

Noelle looked to Kris for help, but they just slumped in their chair. They clearly weren’t happy with Susie’s decision, but they weren’t going to fight her on it. And even though Noelle wanted to, if Susie’s best friend saw it as a lost cause, then what right did she have to push for something else?

And really, she wasn’t sure how much fight she had in her. She was growing painfully aware that people were watching them, and she was losing all her fire as quickly as it came. Besides, with so many eyes on them, trying to do anything now would only make things harder for Susie. Maybe she could try again later.

But as she made for her seat, she was painfully aware that later may very well never come. Great going, she told herself. My one chance to do something with Susie, and I can’t even manage that…

She sat down and put away the notes on tutoring. It seemed she wouldn’t be needing them.

It was a long day. With everything going on, Noelle hadn’t even been excited about visiting her dad. She still did, of course; he deserved so much more than she could give. But a big part of her was just looking forward to getting home and being alone.

“Go home and get some rest. You had a tough day.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Just remember, no matter how tough the day is, you’re tougher! You’re my daughter, a true Holiday, and nothing will get you down for too long.”

Noelle sighed, her dad’s words still playing in her head on the walk home. So many things got her down these days. But what could she do about it? The world deserved a cheery smile and a kind word from her, and that’s what she would give them.

Even if it wasn’t enough. Susie needed more than that, but Noelle didn’t know how to be there for her. And Kris, they had asked her for a favor, which they didn’t usually do despite their long friendship. She’d failed them too.

Maybe she should have been more assertive. Convinced Susie that she needed this, done something to get her to accept. And what would happen now? Would she really be expelled over this? And if she was, would Noelle ever see her again?

This isn’t about me! Noelle chided herself. Susie getting expelled wasn’t bad because Noelle wouldn’t see her crush, it was bad because Susie deserved better.

She stopped at the edge of a street and waited for a car to drive past. Her dress swayed a little in the wind from the fast-moving car, the smell of gasoline lingering in its wake.

Once the way was clear, Noelle crossed the road. This dwelling on everything wasn’t helping her, and it wasn’t helping Susie. She needed to take some time to calm down, figure out her next move, and try fresh in the morning.

A little bit of the fire she felt earlier came back, and she smiled despite everything. Despite the debacle with Susie and the missed dose, she still smiled. She would fix things. Maybe her dad was right after all – there was nothing that could get her down for too long.

By the time she reached the gate to her house, she was starting to feel like things could be okay. She just needed to get inside, take her pills, put this day behind her, and figure out the next one.

She reached for her pocket only to realize this dress didn’t have pockets. Her eyes went wide as she frantically felt around for something she already knew wasn’t there. She’d been in such a hurry to leave that she’d forgotten to grab her key.

Although she knew it was hopeless, she tried pushing on the walk-in gate anyway. And of course, it was locked. She was stuck outside, and there was nothing she could do about it, and it was her own fault.

Noelle sighed and kneeled on the ground as she thought of what to do. She really didn’t want to go to Catti’s, but the only other option was the library. She didn’t want to go there either, there would be too many people.

It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter what Noelle wanted. It never did, did it? No, she’d go to Catti’s, or to the library, and she’d smile, and she’d laugh about how she was such a scatterbrain, and she’d spend a few hours there while waiting for her mom to come home.

And she wouldn’t get to take her pills until dinner time, and she wouldn’t get to relax in her bedroom and let the cares slip away, and she wouldn’t get to figure out how to help Susie, and nothing would ever go her way, and that would be her life, as it always was.

Noelle picked herself up, forced a smile on her face, and she turned to walk into town.

Chapter Text

Chapter Four

A Reason to Stay

Susie

It was time to go. Susie had spent all night thinking about the day ahead of her, but in the end, there just wasn’t much to think about. All she had to do was step into the supply closet. Just go through it and never look back. It was simple.

Susie had never been a sentimental person. Still, before heading out to school in the morning, she took a look around her house. It didn’t make for a nice look. There was garbage scattered about everywhere, stuff that might as well be garbage in between that, a cheap TV that her mom had left on all night, and a couch covered in stains.

And it would be the last time Susie ever saw it. Her mom was in her bedroom, asleep, and when she woke up? Susie would be long gone.

But before she left, she might as well make the most of the place. She went into what counted as a kitchen, though it was really just another part of the living room, and she got out ingredients for a sandwich – which amounted to just ham and bread because there wasn’t any cheese or condiments.

The ham was slightly slimy, but it didn’t seem to have any mold on it, so it wasn’t like that was going to stop her. With no need to ration it out, she added extra meat to the sandwich, then took a big bite. It didn’t have much of a taste beyond heavily processed meat, but that never got Susie down before, and it wouldn’t get her down today!

Deciding to eat on her way to school, Susie walked out of the house and didn’t care that the door closed too roughly behind her. It wouldn’t matter anyway. Nothing would anymore.

“Good riddance,” she muttered through a mouthful of ham.

She walked to school without a thought about the town she walked through. True, she wasn’t ever seeing it again, but when it came down to it, the sandwich was more interesting. She was hungry, and it had been a while since she’d had such a filling meal.

A few cars passed her by, some heading to the school, some to work. Susie didn’t pay them any mind. When she got a little closer, she started seeing other kids walking to school, but she ignored them as well. They’d all prefer it that way. It was no secret that Susie wasn’t well liked, so there was no need for goodbyes.

Well, almost no need.

She finished the sandwich about halfway to the school, and she wondered if she should have brought the meat with her to snack on once she was done with the sandwich. Probably. Wait, did she put it back in the fridge when she was done? Oh well, it didn’t really matter. That was her mom’s problem now.

She let out a yawn and almost wished she had slept in. What did it matter if she was late? She wasn’t going to class.

But no, she had to be on time. She had one more thing to do.

So that was what she would do. She got to school and went inside, then loitered by the entrance. Kids either ignored or avoided her, both of which were fine with her, and she waited.

It took about ten minutes, but eventually she got what she waited for. Kris walked in with their mom, and they said their goodbyes, before the two of them went separate ways – Toriel to her class, Kris to where Susie waited.

Susie awkwardly scratched at her hair. “So, uh, hey.”

Kris waved, then started walking towards their class.

Susie frowned. “Uh, yeah, I’m not going.”

Kris turned to look at her and frowned, so she showed them a small smile. She had known this was coming, but they deserved a chance to say a proper goodbye.

“Yeah, I mean, like I said yesterday. I’ll just… leave. It’s best for everyone.”

The words only made Kris’s frown deepen.

“I just, you know, wan– uh, thought you might want to see me before I go.” Susie smiled despite her nerves. “And hey, I’ll finally be able to fill in Ralsei and Lancer about what’s going on. It’s a good thing!”

Kris shook their head, but Susie wasn’t going to stick around and let them talk her out of it.

“Well anyway, I’ll see you around. I, uh, I guess once you get things settled and can visit and stuff.”

She turned to go, but Kris grabbed her jacket. Susie let out a little laugh. “What, you want a hug or something? You’re such a dork.”

Although Susie couldn’t remember hugging anyone in her life, she turned to oblige them. It was only fair. But when she did, Kris didn’t look sad, they looked pissed.

Susie blinked. “Uh…. you okay, dude?”

Kris pulled on Susie to get her to come with them, but she pulled back. “I’m not going to class! Just let me go!”

The next thing she knew, Kris had both hands on her arms, trying to pull her to class. They wouldn’t let go of her, but she was bigger and stronger. She gritted her teeth and gave them a shove, and they fell to the floor.

For one moment, Susie stood over them, hands balled into fists and adrenaline coursing through her. Then she saw the way Kris just… sat there. They didn’t try to convince her, they didn’t get up, they didn’t even look at her.

The adrenaline fading, Susie shoved her hands in her pockets and looked aside. “Hey man, I’m sorry, alright? I don’t want to fight, I just –”

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing!?” a booming voice called out.

Kris jumped to their feet and Susie snapped her head around to see a large bull had spotted them. He was the gym teacher, and he’d had it out for Susie since they’d met.

“I wasn’t doing –”

“Save it!”

He walked over and addressed Kris first. “You alright?”

Kris nodded, and the teacher turned his attention to Susie. “You’re in big trouble this time, missy!”

“Hey, whoa, this is a misunderstanding!”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure it – what?”

Kris stepped in between Susie and the bull, shaking their head. They said a few words, which got the surly teacher thinking.

“Well, I guess I can see that…” He narrowed his eyes. “But you two better get to class, and don’t let me see you roughhousing in the halls again!”

“Of course!” Susie said. She put her hands on Kris’s shoulders and steered them down the hall. “Wouldn’t dream of it!”

Only when they got close to Ms. Alphys’ class did Susie let out a relieved sigh. “Can’t believe you talked him into letting us go.” She slapped Kris on the back. “You and that silver tongue of yours!”

She laughed as they walked into the room. “Anyway, guess you get me for the rest of the school day.”

The two of them made for their usual seats at the back of the class. No one said anything to them.

“But for real, after today, I’m booking it,” Susie said as she sat down. “So yeah, make the most of it, I guess.”

Kris didn’t say anything. In fact, they seemed distracted.

“What’s up?” Susie followed Kris’s eyes and saw they were looking at their deer friend. “If you wanna go talk to your friend just, like, do it? I’m not going anywhere.”

Kris didn’t react, but at the sound of Susie’s voice, the deer girl got up and slowly made her way over. Susie watched her as she approached, aided by the fact that the other girl couldn’t see her staring with her eyes focused on the ground.

She stopped just before Susie’s desk, and for a moment, it seemed like she wasn’t going to say anything. Eventually she squeaked out, “Uhm. Hi.”

Susie blinked, not really sure why Kris’s friend was talking to her. “Uh, hey.”

The meek girl looked up for a second, then her eyes darted away again. She looked towards Kris, and something passed between them unspoken.

Susie wondered if she was intruding. True, this girl came over to her seat, but maybe she wanted to talk to Kris?

But before she could decide if she should do something, the girl looked at Susie. “I’m… looking forward to the, uhm, to tutoring you…”

Tutoring her? That didn’t make any sense… “Uh, what?”

The girl winced, then spoke a little louder. “I, uhm, I think it’s going to be fun. Tutoring, I mean. Maybe we could figure out how we’re doing that together?”

That… didn’t answer anything. “Uh… no, I heard you, just… what? Tutoring?”

The deer girl looked at Kris, who reached out and nudged Susie. She turned to ask them what was going on, but they just jerked their head towards the chalkboard.

Suddenly, it clicked into place. Someone was meddling. “Oh, Kris put you up to this.” Susie shrugged and turned to address their friend.  “I can’t believe I’m the one to tell you this, but you shouldn’t play these kinds of jokes on people. I’m sure your friend wants nothing to do with me.”

“That’s not true!” the girl said suddenly, demanding Susie’s attention. That seemed to make her go back to her usual shy demeanor, as she blushed deeply and turned away. “What I mean is, well, you know… I know what happened with the principal and I can help. I know you don’t really know me, and I’m, well, me, but I’m actually pretty good at school stuff. I… I’m sure you just, uhm, think that stuff is dumb, but… but Kris said it’s important, and I… I want to help. You. To study.”

She knew… So Kris really had been meddling… And now word was out that Susie was such a screw-up that she needed help or else she was expelled. She hadn’t thought she cared how people remembered her when she left, but finding out this was it…

“Uhm, Susie?” the girl prompted.

Susie ignored that, then she felt Kris’s hand on her shoulder. She glanced over to them, then let her eyes fall back onto her desk. She couldn’t bring herself to blame Kris. No, this was because she just wasn’t good enough. “Don’t worry about me,” she said eventually. “I’ll figure it out on my own.”

“But –”

“Look, it’s nice of you and all, but I don’t want to spend my free time doing stuff like that.” Susie slouched in her chair. “Just… If you’re gonna tutor someone, Kris could probably use it, you know? Don’t waste your time on me.”

“It’s not a waste!” The deer girl was looking at her, but Susie wasn’t paying much attention. “I want to help, and you need it! Please, just let me tutor you!”

Since words weren’t doing the job on their own, Susie put her head down on her desk, covering her face with her arms. Even if she wasn’t leaving, this was just too much. “Look, I don’t want to, okay? Just leave me alone.”

Since she wasn’t looking, Susie was left wondering if the other girl was still there. She got her answer as she heard hoofsteps heading away from her.

It was for the best. Susie was someone people should walk away from more often. Leave the useless girl who was going to get herself expelled if she didn’t run away first.

No, this just solidified Susie’s mind. She was going to leave. Kris could say whatever they wanted, but they weren’t going to convince her to stay. She was going to leave, and everyone would be better off for it.

As soon as the final bell rang, Susie was on her feet. She wanted to say goodbye to Kris, but she’d learned her lesson. They’d try to stop her, and Susie wasn’t going to have that.

“And, uhm, don’t forget…” Ms. Alphys’ voice trailed off as other kids followed Susie’s example in running to the door. “…the homework…”

Susie barely noticed the words, through the door in a moment’s notice. She practically ran down the hall, walking with long strides. The only reason she didn’t run was in case a teacher was watching; the last thing she needed was to be stopped again.

Which was, of course, exactly what happened. Not in the way she expected, however. As she was rounding the corner, the supply closet in sight, something collided into her. She had no time to react before she fell to the floor.

Whatever hit her was still there. She gritted her teeth and realized what – or rather, who – it would be moments before she saw them. Of course, Kris was on top of her, pinning her to the floor.

“What the hell!?” Susie scrambled to get them off of her. It wasn’t too hard; Kris was a scrawny thing.

Not that they weren’t giving it their all. They put all their weight into it, and Susie didn’t want to hurt them. She pushed herself into a kneeling position before Kris broke free of her grip and lunged again, getting her back to the floor.

“Get off me!” Susie growled. She didn’t want to hurt her friend, but they seemed to be dead set on changing her mind. If they insisted on making things difficult, Susie could do it the hard way.

Surprisingly, however, Kris obeyed the command, backing up as they did. They stood in an aggressive stance between Susie and the supply closet.

“What gives!?” Susie pushed herself to her feet. “You know why I have to leave! Give me one reason why I should stay here!”

Kris made a broad gesture towards their chest, and Susie felt selfish all of a sudden. She pushed it down. “You think I want to leave you? If there was another way…”

Kris spat a name at her.

“Noelle?” Susie repeated, trying to place who that was. It dawned on her a second later that it must be the deer girl. “Come on, you know I’m a lost cause with that school junk! No one is going to be able to change that.”

Susie expected Kris to tell her that she was wrong. To sing Noelle’s praises, to make it sound like the shy girl was a miracle worker. Instead, they folded their arms and calmly said one word.

Susie gritted her teeth. “Okay, I am not a coward!”

Kris arched an eyebrow.

“I’m not! I’m doing this for everyone. You’ll all be better off without me. Even you.”

Kris shook their head, then calmly walked over to her. It seemed they were done fighting.

Susie braced herself for some sappy crap like a hug, but instead, Kris punched her shoulder.

Looking Kris in the eyes, it proved hard to not see their point. Susie was running away. She could justify it however she wanted, but that’s what she was doing.

She looked past Kris to the supply closet. They were gathering a crowd, so whatever she was doing, she had to do it quickly. She could push Kris aside, run to the supply closet, and be gone before anyone could stop her.

The crowd around them were muttering. It seemed they expected a fight. They knew what Susie was, and they were ready to see her finally turn on her friend once and for all.

Instead, she turned around. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

The two friends walked out of the school, away from all their staring peers. They didn’t go very far, just out the doors and around the corner. They usually went into the woods to hang out, but Susie had a feeling they needed to talk, so she led them into the trees around the school.

The sound of kids excitedly leaving the school mixed in with leaves crunching underfoot. Susie always liked the sound, but today, she barely noticed it. Her mind was a jumble of thoughts that she couldn’t even sort through in her own head, let alone out loud.

But she had to try. She turned to Kris and took a deep breath. “Look, I didn’t want to leave you.”

Kris looked at her but said nothing.

“It’s just… You don’t know what it’s like! You have a family and other friends. I’ve got you.”

Kris kicked a pinecone, and they watched it fly through the air. It made it far enough to hit someone walking along the edge of the trees. “Hey!” she said looking around, but not seeing the troublemakers.

Susie stifled a laugh and turned to see Kris grinning. She punched them on the shoulder. “Nice shot.”

Kris flashed her a thumbs up.

Susie sighed. “I… fine, I’m scared. If I get expelled, I’ll lose the Dark World forever. I can’t do that, you know?”

For a moment, Kris just looked at her. Then they sighed and pointed out something that Susie had failed to think about.

No matter what they ate in the Dark World, they’d still come back hungry. Susie never thought much of it because she was always hungry, but it happened with Kris too. And the implications finally set in – they couldn’t survive off the food in the Dark World.

Susie frowned. “Why the hell didn’t you say so sooner?”

Kris shrugged and wouldn’t meet her eyes.

Susie got the feeling there was something they weren’t telling her, but she didn’t press. Instead, she picked up a pinecone and looked around. She saw an abandoned bird’s nest, falling apart without the inhabitants around to keep it up.

She nudged Kris and pointed at it. “Bet I can knock it down before you can.”

Kris smirked, so she chucked the pinecone at it. She missed, so Kris found one of their own, and tried to hit it. The nest was high in the tree, making it a challenging target.

By the time Kris knocked it down, the two of them had scoured the area for ammo. Susie was so upset to have lost that she ate the bird nest, much to Kris’s amusement. She regretted it, as it tasted like dirt, but hearing them laugh made it okay.

They killed time for maybe an hour or so, then started walking. They didn’t have anywhere in mind, so they made their way into town slowly.

It wasn’t long at all before they came to a stop. There was a small crowd in front of the library. Susie didn’t care much – the library was one of the least interesting buildings in Hometown in her opinion – but she was at least a little curious.

Then someone noticed them. The deer girl – Noelle – was among the crowd, sitting by herself against the side of the building. She looked up as they approached, stared for a second, then turned away.

Susie was used to that. No one really ever paid too much attention to her. If they did that, then she might pay attention back, and no one wanted that.

She would have just kept walking, but Kris ran up to Noelle. She gave them a smile. “Oh, hi, Kris.”

Kris waved, while Susie lingered several steps away.

Noelle glanced her way as well, and added, “And Susie.” She couldn’t bring herself to look at Susie, but at least she didn’t sound scared. Susie didn’t say anything.

Kris looked around at everyone, and Noelle noticed. She sighed and shook her head. “The library is covered in dog residue, so they’re cleaning it. They should be done soon.”

Kris nodded, then walked over to Susie. They grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her forward. Feeling awkward, Susie said, “Uh, hi.”

“Hi,” Noelle said, looking up at Susie. She actually managed to hold eye contact, which was a surprise.

Kris nudged Susie, who sighed. “So, uh, is… that tutoring option still on the table?”

Noelle blinked. “You want my help?”

“Well, I mean, if it’s a problem then forget it. I don’t really care, I mean, it’s really Kris who wants me to…”

Noelle stood up and brushed off her skirt. Then she smiled widely at Susie. It was weird, no one smiled at her like that. Well, no one but Ralsei.

But she did recognize it. It was the smile of someone who somehow saw something in her. That didn’t make any sense, this girl didn’t even know her. At least Ralsei had a legend to go off of, he had some kind of reason to think Susie was worth smiling like that at. What reason did this girl have?

Feeling uncomfortable at the realization for reasons she couldn’t place, Susie folded her arms and responded on instinct. “On second thought, I should probably just make someone else do the work for me. That’s a better idea, then I don’t have to do that nerd stuff.”

Kris elbowed her, causing her to lose composure, which in turn caused Noelle to laugh. “You don’t mean that.”

In truth, Susie didn’t really mean that. She might’ve, a month ago. But that was before Kris. That was before Lancer, and Ralsei, and the Dark World. That was before she knew what it felt like to be a hero.

Doing her own schoolwork paled in comparison to that, but still, she couldn’t go back to being the bully when she’d gotten a taste of how it felt to be respected. Even so, she couldn’t let that slip, so she just shrugged. “Tch, you’d probably rat me out anyway. I guess I’ll do my own work.”

“It’ll be easy!” Noelle took a step closer and finally failed to meet Susie’s eyes. She blushed as she said, “You’ll do great, Susie. I know you will.”

“Uh, okay.” Susie kicked at the ground. “So… what do we do?”

Noelle smiled at her again. “We should go to your house. I locked myself out of mine…”

“Uh, no.”

Kris nudged her again, but Susie held her ground. “Not happening.”

“Why not?” Noelle asked.

“Because I said so,” was all the answer Susie could give. There was no way she was bringing a girl like Noelle around her house. She didn’t even let Kris go there.

“Well, the library is closed, and I don’t have my key.” Noelle put her hand to her mouth in thought. “The school’s already closed. I guess we could just start another day…”

That sounded just fine to Susie, but suddenly, the door to the library opened and a very disgruntled teenager popped out. “Okay, everyone. We’re open.”

“That’s great! Thanks, Berdly!” Noelle said.

“Yeah, yeah. Just –” he stopped talking when he noticed Susie was among the crowd. He glared at her, then stepped back inside.

Noelle shifted in place uncomfortably. “Uhm, well then, shall we?”

“Fine.” Not wanting to look like she cared about Berdly’s reaction, Susie was the first through the door. She didn’t pay any attention to the way he glared at her as she walked to the nearest table.

Noelle was quick behind her, sitting down on the other side. She pulled out a notebook from her backpack. “Alright, I made some notes on what we might cover, but first, we should talk about you. What courses are you having trouble with?”

Susie didn’t answer. She had something else on her mind. She watched the door as people entered the library, but there was someone missing. “Where’s Kris?”

“Oh, they left when the library opened. You didn’t notice?”

Susie hadn’t. She was too preoccupied by that jerk bird. “They’re not coming?”

“I’d be happy to tutor both of you, but I think Kris has been keeping their grades up. Maybe they’ll come next time though?” Noelle looked down at her notes. “I hope you don’t mind if it’s just the two of us.”

What the hell was Kris thinking? How could they leave Susie alone like this? And after all that crap about leaving them for the Dark World… “I, uh, of course I don’t!”

Noelle smiled. She did that a lot. “Good! Okay then, let’s get started. Uhm, so what subjects do you need help with?”

“Uh, I don’t know.” Susie fidgeted. “All of them?”

“You’re failing every class?”

“Well… yeah.”

“Oh.” For some reason, Noelle smiled again. “Well then, I guess we have our work cut out for us! But that’s okay, I’m more than happy to help! How about we start with something fun, like literature.”

Susie didn’t find literature very fun, but she didn’t find anything about school to be very fun. “Yeah, whatever…” She looked longingly at the door one more time, as if that would make Kris come through it.

But it didn’t. Accepting that she was in this alone, Susie turned her attention towards Noelle as they got started.

Chapter Text

Chapter Five

How Quickly Things Change

Noelle

It was fine. Really, it was fine. Noelle repeated this to herself all day throughout class, just as she had every day since she’d started tutoring Susie. It was fine.

So what if Susie and Kris spent the entire class period goofing off? It was fine. Noelle was just doing her best to get Susie to actually pass their classes, and even if Kris didn’t join them for study sessions, she knew they weren’t far behind. But so what? It was fine.

Susie’s laugh interrupted Ms. Alphys’ lecture, and it was not fine. She was explaining things that would be on the next test, but Susie didn’t seem interested in that. And, okay, Noelle knew she wasn’t interested in this stuff, but she needed to pass these classes!

Noelle looked down at her own notes, not as detailed as they should be due to all the distraction. She closed her eyes and didn’t even hear as Ms. Alphys’ tried to continue her lesson, and she made her decision.

She stood up and walked over to Susie, the sound of her hooves on the hardwood floor drawing everyone’s attention, but she paid them no mind.

Unconcerned with the looks, Noelle plastered a smile on her face as she addressed Susie. “Hello, Susie. Would you like help taking notes?”

Susie blinked. “Uh, no? I’m fine.”

Noelle’s ear twitched. She was not fine. Nothing about this was fine! But Noelle didn’t want to say that to her. So instead, she just kept her smile and said, “It’s just that you know this stuff will be on the test, and I’d hate for you to struggle on it.”

Susie grinned. “Well, that’s what I have you for, right? You’ll help me figure it out. We’re going to the library today, right?”

“Of course, and you know you can count on me.” Noelle steeled herself. She didn’t want to be too hard on Susie, but this was important. “It’s just that it’d be a lot easier on me if you helped me to help you. Even if you don’t understand all the concepts yet, taking notes that we can go over together would –”

She stopped as a paper airplane flew into her field of vision and hit Susie on the head. The other girl wheeled around and saw Kris give her an innocent expression. She laughed and opened it up to find a note in it, then scribbled something in return.

Before she did anything with it, she turned to Noelle and smiled. “Thanks a lot for the help, Noelle. You’re the best!” Then she balled up the paper and threw it at Kris.

Noelle stood there for a second, a blank expression on her face as she watched Susie and Kris continue to ignore their class.

And then, with nothing else to do, she turned and walked back to her desk. She couldn’t even pretend it was fine this time. She wanted to help Susie, but she wasn’t making it easy! And Kris, they knew how important this was, and yet here they were just goofing off.

“You’re the best!” What would Noelle have given to hear those words a month ago? Even just a week ago, when they first started this tutoring arrangement? Being noticed by Susie – being appreciated by Susie – it was all she had wanted. But now? How quickly things changed… Now she wished Susie would take some initiative for herself instead of relying on Noelle to do it for her.

And how much did Susie appreciate her, anyway? True, she said she did, but then she acted like this. It was, at best, mixed messages. And at worst? Noelle didn’t like to think about that, but when Susie acted like this, those thoughts just wouldn’t stay away.

At worst, Susie was using her.

No. No, Noelle wasn’t going to believe that. Okay, so things weren’t fine, but they would be. Noelle would make sure of it. She could do that for Susie, and maybe when she saw how hard Noelle was trying, she would try herself as well.

So Noelle listened closely to Ms. Alphys. She paid rapt attention, tuning out the shenanigans that their teacher pretended weren’t disrupting her class. She made extensive notes, reminding herself this was for both of them.

It worked, her focus tuning out the sounds coming from the back of the class. She barely even noticed time passing until finally, the bell rang. She packed up her notes and listened to Ms. Alphys as she gave them final reminders that the test was tomorrow, and that they’d better use the night to study for it.

Then she packed up her things, stood up, and turned to greet Susie with a smile on her face.

Her eyes went wide, and her smile grew to a grin when she saw Susie taking notes. At some point when she was focused on her own notes, Susie had actually started paying attention! Noelle chided herself for not having faith in her. Susie deserved better than that.

She walked across the room and smiled brightly at Susie. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah.” Susie unceremoniously shoved the notes into her backpack. They really needed to work on her organization skills, but at least they were at a start.

Susie and Kris stood up, then the three students made their way out of the room together. Noelle took the lead, with the others following behind. For once, she reveled in the sound of their jokes. Susie had taken notes, she deserved to joke around with her friend on the way to tutoring.

As for Noelle, she didn’t intrude. She wanted to be friends with Susie, but she knew it was too soon to call them that. Maybe as their tutoring went on, they could become real friends. But for now, she was happy to just listen into the jokes and games between the other two.

They left the school, and walked past other kids loitering around outside, waiting for their rides home. That was where Kris left them.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come study with us?” Noelle asked as they walked over to their mom’s car.

Susie nudged them playfully. “Run while you can.”

Kris laughed, and Noelle didn’t let it get to her. She knew studying wasn’t Susie’s favorite thing, and she didn’t hold it against her.

Kris waved at them, then climbed into the car. Before they could close the door, their mom leaned over and addressed the two girls. “Would you two like a ride?”

“Sure,” Noelle said with a smile. “We’re just going to the library, so it’s right on the way. Thank you, Ms. Dreemurr!”

“Climb on in then.”

Noelle climbed into the back seat, while Susie walked around to the other side and got in as well. She buckled up, and Susie did as well once she saw she was the only one not wearing a seatbelt.

“How was school today?” Toriel asked as they pulled out of the parking lot.

“It was really nice,” Noelle smiled at Susie. She wanted to rave about Susie’s accomplishment with note taking, but she didn’t want to embarrass the other girl.

“That’s good to hear.” Toriel looked in the rearview mirror at the girls in the back seat. “Susie, right? I don’t believe we’ve had the chance to meet yet.”

“Uh, yeah,” Susie said nervously. “I’m Susie, Kris’s friend.”

“It’s very nice to finally get to know you. Thank you for being such a good friend to Kris.”

Kris clunked their head against the window, causing Noelle to laugh. They never did like when Toriel acted motherly.

“I’ve known Noelle ever since she was little. Kris never brings around their other friends.” Toriel laughed a little. “At first I thought they might have been making you up, but I’ve seen you two at school together a few times now.”

“Oh. Uh, yeah…” Susie looked around awkwardly.

“Susie and I are studying together,” Noelle said. “She’s fallen a little behind in a few subjects, so I’m tutoring her.”

“Oh yes? That’s lovely.” Toriel glanced at her child. “You should take after your friends a little more. You know your grades could use some work.”

“I’m always happy to tutor Kris too!” Noelle said.

Kris slumped in their seat.

Toriel nodded. “I think that would be wonderful, though not today. Kris has a dentist appointment we need to get to.”

“Oh, I hope we’re not holding you up,” Noelle said with a slight frown.

“No, we’re already here.” Toriel pulled to a stop in front of the library. “But we must run now. Kris, say goodbye.”

Kris gave them a wave, and Susie and Noelle both said goodbye. Noelle made sure to thank Toriel for the ride again as they exited the car.

They waved as Toriel drove away, then Noelle smiled at Susie. “Ready to get to work?”

“Yeah, let’s get this over with.”

Although Susie already looked defeated, Noelle kept her head up high. She led them into the library and to their usual table.

Of course, Noelle had a plan for the day. She would briefly review what they’d talked about previously, then they’d move onto the material that would be on the test. But since Susie had taken notes of her own, Noelle decided to take a different approach. “How about we start by going over the notes from class today?”

“Yeah, alright,” Susie said.

Noelle pulled out her notebook, flipping to the page that held the day’s notes, and she pulled them out. She smiled at Susie, who did nothing. “Uhm, do you want to get out your notes as well?”

“Huh?” Susie frowned. “I don’t have any notes.”

“What? But I saw you at the end of class.”

“Oh, that.” Susie opened her backpack and pulled out a battered notebook. She opened it and passed it to Noelle.

There were pictures of Susie with an axe, and some of Kris with a sword and shield. There were also monsters that Noelle didn’t know. Everything was fantasy themed, and very well drawn.

All of which would have been very interesting under different circumstances, but Susie was supposed to be taking notes, not drawing. “This is what you were doing in class?”

“Pretty sweet, right?” Susie grinned. “That attack is called the Rude Buster, and it does extra damage! It’s not really one of my better attacks, but it was the first one that I learned so it’s pretty cool.”

Noelle sighed. “Susie, you…” She shook her head. It was kind of nice to see Susie excited about something, even if it was at the expense of her work… “Never mind. We should get to work.”

Since Susie didn’t have any notes to go over, they went back to the original plan of going over the previous lessons. Noelle started with the science lesson they talked about yesterday. And the day before, and before that too. They’d been lingering on this lesson for a while because Susie kept not grasping it, and this seemed to be no exception.

“So, uh, when you add these chemicals, it… explodes?”

Noelle sighed. “No, that’s sodium chloride, or table salt.”

“Oh.”

Noelle closed her eyes for a moment. This was a pretty basic chemical mixture, and they’d been over it several times. Susie needed to learn this, and yet…

And yet she was just snickering. “But hey, wouldn’t it be cool if salt could explode? Think of all the great pranks you could pull!”

“Susie…”

“Yeah, I guess you’re not really into pranks…”

When Noelle opened her eyes, Susie was drawing on the page of notes Noelle had given her to look over.

“So hey, why is it called table salt?” Susie asked. “I mean, like, isn’t it just salt?”

“Well, there are other kinds of salt as well,” Noelle explained. “Table salt is named because it’s what we use when at the table. Most salts aren’t edible.”

“Anything is edible if you try hard enough!” Susie said with a grin.

Noelle bit her tongue. They were going off topic again. “Well, some salts are highly toxic, so no, they’re not edible.”

“Oh, huh.”

“We talked about toxic salts yesterday,” Noelle said, letting a little annoyance into her voice.

“We did?”

“Yes. Do you have your notes from yesterday?”

“I, uh, didn’t think I’d need them, so I left them at home.”

Noelle pressed her fingers into the bridge of her nose. “Susie…”

“What’s it matter, you always have yours!”

“Yeah, because I take this seriously!” Noelle snapped, rising to her hooves. “Susie, this is important! I know you don’t like it, but can’t you care just a little? I’m trying my best here, and you’re just blowing it off!”

“Yeah, well, maybe I just know this is a lost cause!” Susie stood up as well. “Sorry for being such a screw-up!”

“You’re not a screw-up, you just need to try a little harder!”

“No, you just need to face facts. This is stupid. I’m sorry for wasting your time.”

Susie turned to leave with Noelle calling after her. It didn’t help, Susie was out of the library before Noelle could fully process what was going on.

She could chase after her. Noelle was the fastest kid in school, she could catch up to Susie if she wanted to.

But… did she really want to? Susie didn’t take this seriously, and she never would. Of course, Noelle didn’t want her to get expelled, but at this rate, nothing Noelle could do would stop that. Maybe this was really pointless…

Noelle gathered the notes from around the table. As she did, she heard a cocky voice from nearby. “You know this is a library? You’re meant to be quiet”

“I’m sorry, Berdly,” Noelle said in a defeated tone. “It won’t happen again.”

She stopped when she picked up the sheet of paper Susie had been studying last. There was a drawing on it of Susie in the outfit she seemed to like drawing herself in, but beside her was Noelle dressed in a robe.

She felt tears welling up. Susie had drawn a picture of her, and all Noelle could do was yell at her.

“Yeah, I don’t know what you’re even doing with her,” Berdly said. “I mean, some people are just unteachable.”

“She’s not unteachable!” Noelle’s head snapped to where Berdly was looking at her. “Susie’s really talented, she just… hasn’t figured out how she learns best yet!”

“Oh please.” Berdly rolled his eyes. “You’re wasting your time, Noelle! But don’t let me stop you. While you waste your time on a lost cause, I’m studying for real! Soon I’ll be the unquestioned best student in the class!”

“So what!?” Noelle crossed the room and poked him in the chest. “I don’t care if you pass me! Some of us care about people other than ourselves, Berdly!”

“Careful, Noelle,” Berdly said with a smug expression. “Keep this up and I’ll have to ban you from the library!”

Noelle felt her hand balling into a fist, but she backed off. She grabbed her backpack, put the rest of the notes in it, and walked out. Once she was out of the building, she thought she might scream, but instead she sighed.

She let her shoulders slouch as she made her way home. She just wanted to go to sleep. This day had been a disaster, and she wasn’t looking forward to the next one.

If she had just been better… A little more patient, a little more understanding. If she had figured out how to reach Susie, then this wouldn’t be happening. Susie and Berdly were both wrong. Susie wasn’t a lost cause. She was smart, she just had to figure out how to connect with the material. She wasn’t a failure.

No, Noelle was the failure. This was supposed to be something she was good at, a way she could help. And yet, all she’d done was make things worse. And there was no way Susie would want to work with her anymore…

How quickly things change, Noelle thought to herself as she made her way home. Part of her wanted to go after Susie, but it was pointless. Even if she did know which way Susie went off to, she couldn’t reach her.

Not now, she couldn’t. But something she had said resonated in her mind. “She just… hasn’t figured out how she learns best yet!”

Susie didn’t learn like Noelle did, and she couldn’t be taught the way Noelle was. If this was going to work, Noelle would have to change too. She’d have to figure out how to reach Susie first, then try again.

Somehow, as she made her way home and away from Susie, Noelle felt like she was still getting closer to her.

Chapter Text

Chapter Six

Try Again

Susie

It wasn’t surprising. As usual, Susie had screwed everything up. That was just the way it always went.

Noelle had tried to do something really nice for her, even though she was a stranger and had no obligation. She’d tried really hard, and Susie desperately needed the help. But things got too hard, and Susie pushed back instead of working with her on it.

She knew she’d messed up. What she didn’t know was what to do about it. She was considering staying home from school, but then she’d get expelled. She and Kris had finally gone back to the Dark World, much to their friends’ relief. They were only able to go after school, which meant they could only spend a few hours there. And even at that, they only went once when Noelle had cross-country practice – Susie needed to study on other days.

But even so, for just a few hours, Susie got to be a hero again. She got to be the strong protector of the weak, she got to be liked and respected. Even if she mostly just goofed off with Lancer, it was just what she needed.

And if she got expelled, it would never happen again. She rolled over so she was facing the back of the couch. She had been lying on it and watching local TV, trying to tune out the rumbling in her stomach. Nothing good was on though, and they didn’t have many channels to look through, so she mostly just had it on for noise.

“If the little lion doesn’t make it back to the pack, she’ll be picked off by scavengers.”

The TV droned on.

I guess I could apologize. See if she’ll still help me.

Somehow, Susie didn’t believe that would be good enough. Noelle had yelled at her. Susie hadn’t thought the quiet deer girl had it in her, but it had happened. And now… now Susie would have to live with the repercussions.

Maybe… maybe she could do it on her own? Susie didn’t believe that, but she couldn’t just let Noelle’s hard work go to waste. She forced herself up and found her backpack, which she’d left on the floor. She fished out the notes she had, all scribbles of Noelle’s neat and organized notes, and left her backpack where it was as she returned to the couch.

It’s pointless, she thought as she flipped through them. I know I’m too dumb for this crap. Even with help from the smartest girl around, I couldn’t figure it out.

Susie looked at an unfinished math problem and tried to figure it out. She had to solve for X, but there were fractions and other letters, so it was hard. Not that it was ever easy, but…

Susie worked on the problem, but she got nowhere. Eventually she started drawing a picture instead. She drew herself in a lab coat, imagining that she was someone smart who could do these things. That was something that would only ever happen in drawings.

While she worked, the front door opened. She didn’t pay it any attention; she knew who it would be. The scent of alcohol would be enough of an indication even if not for the fact that the two of them lived alone.

Her mom would want her to clear out so she could watch TV, but Susie just kept drawing. After a moment, she heard stumbling and looked back to see her mom catching herself on the couch, making them closer than Susie would have liked. She got a whiff of the alcohol smell again. It was strong tonight.

A moment later, Nina righted herself and picked something up from the floor. It was Susie’s backpack. “What’s this doin’ here?”

“I was using it,” Susie said.

“What, so you jus’ leave your crap in the middle of the floor?”

Susie glared. “Yeah, well, maybe I’d put it in my room if you didn’t put more of your crap in there!”

“Don’t you back talk me!” Nina threw the backpack on Susie, not caring that stuff spilled out of it onto her daughter as she did. “Now get, I wanna watch stuff.”

“Tch, like I want to stick around here…” Susie quickly shoved everything back in her backpack then stood up.

She swapped places with her mom, who immediately told her, “Change the channel. I don’t want to watch this crap.”

“Change it yourself!”

“Hey! Watch your tone!”

Susie didn’t change the channel, and neither did her mom. It seemed that she would watch this crap whether she wanted to or not, and that suited Susie just fine.

She wasn’t hanging around for the fun of it though. “Did you bring any food home?”

“You were home all day, you coulda made somethin’.”

“There’s nothing here to make!” Susie threw her arms out. “What, do you want me to live on tap water?”

“Would do me a big favor if you did! You think I wanna keep spendin’ my hard-earned money on that hole of a stomach you got?”

Susie gritted her teeth. “The government gives you money for food!”

“I sold it. Needed money for the bar tab.”

“You what!? I’m starving!”

“Shoulda thought of that before leaving all that ham out!”

How many times was she going to hear about that? “I screwed up yeah, that was like a week ago now! And it was going bad anyway.”

Nina shrugged and watched the TV.

“Gimme some money,” Susie said, throwing on her coat. “I’m going shopping.”

“Don’t have any.”

“Liar.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t have any that I’m giving you!” Nina snatched her purse off the table to keep Susie from going through it. “If you wanna eat so bad, get a job!”

Susie gestured to her backpack. “Are you serious? I’m barely passing school! I told you that!”

“So then drop out. ‘S what I did.”

“Yeah, cause that worked so well for you…”

“What’d you say!?” Nina wheeled around and glared at her daughter. Susie hated how alike they looked, from the purple skin to the unwieldy mop of hair. At least she had her dad’s eyes, but right now she matched her mom’s angry expression.

“I said that dropping out sure did you a world of good!” She gestured around the room. “Why the hell would I want to follow your example? What, you think I want to live in a pigsty full of hoarder crap with no food!? You think I want to just barely get by and spend all my money on booze!?”

Nina was on her feet with her hands balled. “Watch. Your. Mouth.”

“Make me.”

A moment later, and Susie was looking to the side with pain shooting through her face. She spat on the floor, creating a new bloodstain on the dirty rug.

“Get out of here,” Nina growled, and Susie didn’t bother to argue. She grabbed her backpack and her shoes, then she walked out of the house.

At least she already had her jacket on. It was late and a little chilly, plus it seemed she’d be sleeping outside again. She sat down outside to put on her shoes and check her teeth. One of them felt a little loose, but it was holding in place. It could be worse.

She looked around, and decided she wasn’t going to sleep here. And besides, the sun had just set, so it was still early. She didn’t know her destination, but she started walking into town.

This sort of thing wasn’t typical. Arguing with her mom was, but she had to be really drunk to get violent. Not that Susie cared too much. She’d been beaten up much worse in the Dark World, and she kept going back for more. If anything, going to the Dark World had taught her just how pathetic her mom really was. Not for the first time, she wondered if she should just leave and never look back, but she didn’t have anywhere else to go.

Well, nowhere else to go for the long term. She could think of somewhere she could go for a few hours. It was early enough, right? She would just go hang out with Kris for a bit, maybe see if they’d smuggle her something to eat, then she’d leave and find a park bench to sleep on.

With a destination in mind, she shifted course. No one was out, so maybe it was later than she realized. It wasn’t like she had a watch or a phone to check. She felt a little guilty at the idea of showing up at Kris’s house late in the night, but she decided they wouldn’t mind.

Along the way, she spat out blood a few more times, but less and less each time. The pain in her face was still raw, but she didn’t mind it too much. She’d gently prod it once in a while, though she wasn’t sure why she did. Maybe just to remind herself of how awful her mom was.

Since she didn’t live too close to Kris, it took almost an hour to walk to their house. She didn’t mind, really, as she didn’t have anything better to do, but it did make it even later by the time she got there. Too late to knock on the door, she reasoned. But she knew which window was theirs, so she picked up a pebble and threw it, hearing the clink against the window. She threw another, and another.

At the third, Kris looked out of the window. They pointed towards the garage, where Susie saw a ladder. She brought it over to the house and leaned it against the wall, then climbed it. When she reached the top, Kris grabbed ahold of her and helped pull her in.

“Thanks,” Susie said once she was in the room.

Kris pointed at her face, so Susie put a hand up to it. “That obvious?” she asked, then shrugged. “I got into another fight with my mom. She was really pissed tonight.”

Kris nodded, then got up. They went to their backpack and pulled out a notepad and a pack of crackers. They tossed the crackers to Susie and started writing on the notepad.

They passed it to Susie, who read ‘Mom’s asleep, you ok?’

Susie opened the crackers and shoved one in her mouth as she wrote back that she was fine. Not wanting to dwell on that, she wrote, ‘How was the dentist?’

Kris shrugged and wrote a reply. They were fine, but they didn’t like people sticking needles in their mouth. Susie, who had never been to the dentist, thought it sounded like a nightmare.

They wrote back and forth for a while, just talking about random things. Eventually they got to another topic that Susie would rather avoid. ‘How’s tutoring going?’

Susie sighed as she read that, then scribbled her reply. ‘I quit.’

Kris turned to her and winced, then threw the notebook back at her. Susie laughed a little and wrote that it wasn’t working. She was just wasting Noelle’s time, and they weren’t making any headway.

When she passed the notebook back, this time Kris wrote a reply. ‘Try again.’

Susie rolled her eyes and wrote that she just wasn’t getting it. That they went over the same things every single day and that she was too stupid to learn anything.

Kris wrote the same reply. ‘Try again.’

Susie was getting annoyed, and she wasn’t sure how else to explain this. She wrote that it was no good, that she did try, and that she would rather just spend what time she could going to the Dark World after school instead of wasting her time studying.

And yet, Kris just wrote the same two words. ‘Try again.’

Susie took the notebook and threw it over her shoulder, not wanting to talk to Kris anymore. It wound up hitting a lamp and knocking it over, causing the bulb to break. She jumped to her feet, panic setting in.

She looked around for a place to hide while Kris calmly started picking up the glass pieces. Before she could do anything, there was a knock on the door, and it opened. “Kris? I heard glass break.”

Susie looked Toriel in the face wide-eyed, then quickly turned away when Toriel put her hands on her hips.

“Kris, you know you’re not supposed to have friends over this late on a school night!”

Kris looked down at the floor, and Susie shook her head. “It’s my fault, Ms. Dreemurr. Kris didn’t know I was coming. I’ll just get out of here.”

She stood up and walked to the doorway, where Toriel was waiting. She looked upset, but a moment later, her expression changed completely. Susie was confused for a moment, then realized she’d gotten a good look at Susie’s face. She blushed and turned her head so that Toriel could no longer see that cheek clearly.

Toriel put a hand on Susie’s shoulder. “How would you like to spend the night? We have a spare bed here, and it is a little late to walk all the way home.”

Susie blinked. She had expected at most Toriel would offer a ride home, and that would have been a stretch. She wasn’t sure what to say, so Kris agreed for her.

“Then it’s settled,” Toriel said, turning around. “Why don’t you kids come down for some ice cream? I believe we also have some leftovers from dinner if you’re hungry, Susie.”

Susie wasn’t sure what was happening, but she wasn’t going to turn down food. “Uh, sure. Thank you.”

She followed Toriel out of the room and down the stairs, with Kris bringing up the rear. The three of them made their way into the kitchen, a room Susie had never been in before. Usually when she went to Kris’s, it was through the window after fighting with her mom. This was the first time she had been there as a guest.

Without asking if Susie was hungry, Toriel began heating up the leftovers she had mentioned. While those were in the microwave, she got out a few bowls and served ice cream to herself and Kris, then got Susie’s plate out of the microwave.

It was spaghetti and meatballs with a red sauce, and Susie dug in hungrily. Toriel seemed pleased with her appetite. “If you’re still hungry after that, I can get you a bowl of ice cream, or you can have something else.”

“Thank you, Ms. Dreemurr,” Susie said through a mouth full of spaghetti.

“Think nothing of it, dear.”

They ate their food in silence for a while, during which Susie’s stomach twisted up for finally having food in it after being empty all day. Still, she ate, not knowing when she would be able to have food this good again.

“How did your study session with Noelle go?” Toriel asked after a while.

Susie frowned. “It was okay.”

Then Kris snitched on her, and she glared at them.

“I see. Well, you know school is very important. I think you should apologize to Noelle and try again tomorrow.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Susie said, moving around a meatball with her fork. “I’m kinda dumb? I don’t really do good in school, you know?”

“Oh, Susie,” Toriel looked at her with pity, and Susie hated it. “No one is really dumb; some people just learn differently. Trust me, I’m a teacher, and I’ve never once met a student that was truly dumb.”

“Yeah, well, you weren’t my teacher.” Susie shoved the meatball in her mouth.

“If I was, I would happily try to be more inclusive to how you learn. You’re in Kris’s class, right? Have you talked to Alphys about how you could best learn at your pace in her class?”

Susie had never really talked to Ms. Alphys once in her life, and she wasn’t sure that she wanted to change that, or what good it would do. She didn’t say so though, all she said was, “No.”

“Talk to her. And to Noelle. She’s a good girl, she’ll help you. I know it’s hard to try again when you feel like you’ve failed, but that’s how life works. When you get knocked down, you get up and you try again.”

Susie couldn’t help but smirk as she gave Kris a sideways glance. “Try again. That’s all Kris would keep saying to me.”

Toriel put her hand on Kris’s. “Kris isn’t always the best with words, but they do usually know what they’re talking about. And they understand better than you might realize. Did you know they failed second grade?”

“Wait, really?” Susie grinned, and Kris put their head on the table.

Toriel chuckled. “Yes, but they applied themselves with their older brother’s help, and they tried again, and then they passed. And I know school can be hard for them sometimes, but they keep trying, and I’m proud of what they accomplish.”

Toriel really was a good mom. So good that Susie decided to not even tease Kris about this later. At least, not too much. “I… guess I’ll talk to Noelle then.”

“That’s the spirit. And Alphys too. I haven’t been close to her since the divorce, but I know she’s a good teacher. She’ll work with you.”

Susie nodded. “Yeah…”

Toriel let her eat the rest of her pasta in peace, but then she came back with another hard question. “Susie… what happened with your face?”

Susie’s hand reached up to her cheek. It was still painful, and she didn’t even know what it looked like. “Nothing. I fell on the way over here.”

“That doesn’t look like you fell,” Toriel said.

Susie looked down at the table, terrified that Kris would rat her out again. “That’s what happened.”

Kris held their tongue, and eventually their mom said, “I see. Well, if it hurts, I have some pain medicine you can take.”

Susie smiled a little. “Nah, it’s fine.”

“Well, at least keep it clean. You can shower after dessert, and then it’s off to bed with the two of you.”

The mention of dessert got Susie’s mouth salivating. She may have just eaten, but there was always room for more. She did feel a little guilty for eating their food, but her stomach outweighed her conscience. “That’d be great. Thank you, Ms. Dreemurr.”

“It’s my pleasure.” Toriel stood up and got a bowl of ice cream for Susie. She wondered what this would be like. Having a real mom who actually cared about her like Toriel cared about Kris. They really were lucky.

And she wondered about how school would go in the morning. She didn’t want to talk to Ms. Alphys and Noelle, but she knew Kris and Toriel were right. She would just have to pick herself up and try again.

Chapter Text

Chapter Seven

Friends

Noelle

The classroom filled one by one, as it always did. Noelle waited and watched, listening to the ticking of the clock. It seemed to be louder than it should be, and it made her anxious.

She needed to talk to Susie, but as usual, she was late. That wasn’t a big deal normally, but Noelle had a bad feeling about it. She waited as patiently as she could, going over what she was going to say when Susie showed up.

Little by little, kids kept coming into the classroom, but Susie wasn’t one of them…

Tick.

Tock.

Eventually Ms. Alphys started class without her. Noelle raised her hand to ask her teacher to wait. Susie would be here, Noelle was sure of it. They just needed to give her a little more time. That was all Susie needed. A little time and understanding.

But no one seemed to notice her. Noelle sat in her seat with her hand raised, and the clock simply ticked on.

Suddenly the door opened, but it wasn’t Susie. It was Kris, and they were glaring at Noelle. They pointed a finger accusatively, and she understood. Susie wasn’t coming, and it was all Noelle’s fault. She’d failed her classes, and now she was expelled, and none of them would see her again.

Everyone was looking at Noelle. The worst thing though was that only Kris was upset with her. Everyone else?

“Way to go, Noelle!”

“Good job getting rid of that thing!”

“That’s my star student!”

Noelle looked around at all the cheering faces, and she tried to crawl over to Kris. “Please… I’ll do better, give me another chance, I’ll…”

“It’s too late,” Kris said, but it was with Susie’s voice. “I trusted you.”

The others were grabbing her and dragging her back, and Kris turned around and left her with them. Everyone seemed to be dark looming figures, growing bigger with each tick of the clock, and they were surrounding her.

Noelle kicked and fought against them, until it suddenly dawned on her that the only thing she was fighting against was her own blanket. She was sweating and breathing rapidly, and she scrambled to a sitting position. Within moments, her alarm sounded, causing her to scream and jump.

She took a deep breath and shut the alarm off. It was only a dream. She still had time to make things right.

She got to her hooves and made for the bathroom to start her day. It was going to be a long one.

The mint of her toothpaste helped her feel a little more awake, the strong flavor pulling her into consciousness and out of her head. Her eyes glanced up at her antlers while she brushed her teeth though, and she decided to turn around and face away from the mirror.

After she’d rinsed her mouth, she turned on the shower and stripped. Once the water warmed up a little, she climbed in and let it run over her. As was often the case, she was tempted to just sit under the water without cleaning.

But as always, she did eventually reach for shampoo. Gingerbread today, she decided. She lathered it up and scrubbed it into her hair on her head first, then turned her attention to the copious amount of hair she had elsewhere.

She rinsed and turned the water off, wondering why she felt like something was missing. She couldn’t figure it out until she was already drying off. I didn’t sing today. She frowned. She always sang in the shower. Guess I wasn’t feeling very musical after that dream.

As silly as it was, she felt like the day was already off to a bad start. Still, she wrapped herself in a towel and left the bathroom, heading back to her room. She picked out a festive dress for the day and sat on her bed. She took her meds, then grabbed the hairbrush and started working it through her long hair.

As if to make up for the shower, she hummed while she brushed her hair. It was calming, in its own right. She finished and looked at herself in the mirror, finding her reflection agreeable.

She made her way downstairs, being greeted by the smell of her mom’s morning coffee. She walked into the kitchen and greeted her warmly. “Good morning, Mom!”

“Morning,” Carol said in return.

Noelle busied herself with making breakfast. Not feeling too hungry, she chose a bagel for the morning. Once it was toasted, she used a vegetable cream cheese spread. It was low fat, but that was what her mom always bought, so she was used to it.

She sat down with the bagel and a glass of milk, then took a bite. It was a little bland, but the vegetables helped a lot. As usual, she ate in silence so her mom could focus on reading the paper.

But for once, her mom seemed to have other ideas. She put down the paper and addressed her daughter. “How’s the tutoring going?”

Why was her mom asking her about that? And on today of all days? Noelle decided to lie. “It’s going well. I think I’m reaching her.”

“I see. And it’s not hindering your own studies?”

Noelle shook her head. “No, I’m ready for the big test today.”

“You have a test?”

“Yes, in science.”

Carol nodded. “I want to see the results when they come in.”

Noelle wasn’t sure what to make of that. On the one hand, she liked when her mom took an interest in what she was doing. On the other, it felt like she wasn’t being trusted.

In the end, she agreed. What else could she do? “Okay. I’m sure I’ll get top marks, like always.”

“I hope so. You’ve been distracted lately.”

Noelle furrowed her brow. “I have been?”

“You’ve been quieter. Not your usual self.”

It was hard to say if that was true or if her mom was looking for reasons to be upset about the tutoring arrangement. It didn’t really matter. “My studies are going fine, and I’ll show you when I take this test.”

“See that you do.” Carol took a sip of her coffee and propped her newspaper back up. “Remember, we have an agreement. You know what will happen if you let your grades slip over this.”

Noelle felt a lump in her throat. She didn’t like to be reminded of that, and she was terrified of not holding up her end. “Yes, ma’am.”

While her mom returned to her paper, Noelle sipped her milk. She was feeling even less hungry, but she didn’t want to waste food, so she forced herself to take another small bite as well.

Little by little, she made her way through breakfast, then got up to wash her plate and her mom’s coffee mug. Once she was done, the two of them walked out of the house in silence. Noelle didn’t try to make conversation. She wasn’t feeling talkative.

Instead, she thought of what she would say to Susie when they were at school. She would apologize, of course. She had yelled at her, and that was uncalled for. It was the least she could do to apologize.

And then what? Well, she’d ask for a second chance. She’d explained what she’d done after her failure, and why she could do better now. Then she’d just hope for the best.

Those thoughts carried her all the way to school. As she got out of the car, she made sure to thank her mom for the ride and wish her a good day at work, a sentiment that was echoed back.

She took a second to breathe before going into the school building, then fixed a smile on her face, and made her way inside.

All the way to class she greeted students with warmth and kindness, and she did the same thing with Ms. Alphys when she made it into the classroom. She was determined to make the most of the day, and that meant making the most of it for everyone.

And then it was time to wait. She watched as the class filled up, greeting kids as they came in. Kris and Susie were sure to come in together, and they’d barely make it on time, but they’d be there, and Noelle would be ready.

Until they were there earlier than expected, and Noelle wasn’t ready. They walked in when the class was only half filled, and Noelle’s heart beat rapidly against her chest. Come on, I’ve been talking to Susie just fine all week. I can do this.

“Uh, hey, Noelle…” Susie said while she was still working up the nerve.

Noelle blinked. Instead of going to her own seat, Susie had come straight to Noelle. “Hi, Susie.”

Susie shifted in place, and it occurred to Noelle that she was wearing the same clothes as the day before. “I wanted to say… I’m sorry.”

“You… are?” Noelle asked, then blushed as it occurred to her how dismissive that sounded.

But before she could fix her statement, Susie continued. “Yeah. I did a lot of thinking, and – well, Kris helped – and I just thought, you know… if you’ll give me another chance, I’d really appreciate it.”

“But… it was my fault!” Noelle said, rising to her hooves. “I yelled at you, and I wasn’t patient enough, and –”

“Hey, whoa!” Susie raised her palms. “No way, dude, this was all on me!”

Although Noelle didn’t really like being called ‘dude’ she chose not to comment. “But I shouldn’t have –”

“No, stop.” Susie looked to Kris, who nodded their emotional support. “Look, you can’t blame yourself for everything, you know? You were right to yell at me. I needed it. So like… don’t worry about it.”

Not worrying about things had never been something Noelle was particularly good at. But she had expected an uphill battle to get Susie to agree to tutoring again, and she was happy to take the unexpected win. There was only one problem, but that was easily settled. “Hmm… okay, but on one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“You can’t blame yourself either.”

Susie ran a hand through her hair. “I mean, that’s a nice thought, but how is this not my fault?”

Noelle nodded. It was time to tell her what she’d been researching. “Do you know what ADHD is?”

“Uh, isn’t that like, little kids who can’t sit still and junk?”

“It’s not just kids, and it’s got more to do with focus than with not sitting still. And… and I think you might have it.”

“Huh.” Susie put her hands in her pockets. “Well, uh… so what’s that mean?”

“It means you learn differently. Like, uhm, like your drawing. Do you think it might help you focus if you drew while you studied?”

“Isn’t that bad?”

Noelle shook her head. “Whatever helps you is good. Sometimes with ADHD, people struggle with under stimulation. So doing something, like drawing, can stimulate part of your mind and let you focus more clearly.”

“How do you know all this?”

Noelle smiled. “I looked into it yesterday. I admit I don’t know a lot, but I stayed up doing research once I left the library. I’ll keep looking into it, but… uhm, Susie?”

As Noelle was talking, Susie had hung her head. She shook it gently. “But… why do you care so much? I mean, I’m no one…”

“You’re not no one!” Noelle held her hands to her chest. “You’re my friend! I mean, I hope we can be friends, if… if you want to be…”

“I… yeah, we can be friends.” Susie looked up and showed a toothy smile. “Are you sure though? I might just drag you down.”

Noelle shook her head. “I see so much more in you, Susie. I know you’ve had some issues, but I really do think you’re a good person, and I want to get to know you better.”

“I… I’ll try.”

Noelle nodded. “We’ll both do better. And maybe you can start by paying attention in class?”

“I will, but…” Susie looked back at Ms. Alphys. “Someone said I should talk to Ms. Alphys about… Well, I don’t actually know what I’m supposed to talk to her about.”

“About how much you’re struggling?”

Susie looked at the ground. “I guess.”

“I’ll go with you. We can talk to her together.”

“Really?” Susie shook her head and grinned. “I mean, well, that’s fine if you want to.”

Noelle giggled. “Come on. Let’s go talk to her.”

In her mind, Noelle saw herself leading Susie to their teacher by the hand. Of course, she didn’t do that. She led the way, and Susie followed all on her own.

Alphys looked up as they approached. “Hey, Noelle! And, uhm, and Susie…”

Susie looked off to the side, so Noelle took the lead. “Ms. Alphys, I’ve been tutoring Susie for the past week.”

“Oh, really? I mean, I saw you two talking, but…”

Susie took a deep breath, looked at Ms. Alphys, then looked away. “This is so dumb.”

“No, it’s not!” Noelle chided. She addressed Ms. Alphys next. “Susie is… well, you know she’s struggling in class.”

“That’s one way to put it,” Ms. Alphys grumbled.

“Look, let’s just go…” Susie said in a hushed voice to Noelle, but she wasn’t dissuaded.

“I think she has ADHD.” Noelle noticed that Susie was blushing, and she wouldn’t tell other people usually, but it was important that Ms. Alphys understood. “That’s why she has trouble focusing in class. I think… she’d do better if she had more hands-on lessons, and if she was allowed to do things a little more at her own pace sometimes.”

“I see.” Ms. Alphys regarded Susie. “Well, ADHD is a serious learning disability. I’m not really an expert, but I suppose you could be onto something. Would it be possible for you to get a diagnosis?”

Susie looked between the others. “Like… from a doctor?”

“A psychiatrist,” Noelle said. “A doctor specializing in mental health.”

Susie shook her head. “I… I don’t think so…”

“That’s okay,” Ms. Alphys said. “It’s not always easy to do, but it’d be easier to ask the school board for accommodations with a diagnosis. But, er, I could try a few things, I guess.”

“Really?” Susie looked at her teacher, and Noelle got the impression it might be the first time the two of them were really seeing each other. “Even though I’ve been, well, me?”

“You’ve, er… been something…” Ms. Alphys shifted in place. “But if Noelle’s tutoring you, and if you try to be a little less disruptive in class, then sure.”

“Thank you…” Susie looked down at the ground.

“Do you think you’ll be ready for the test today?” Ms. Alphys asked.

Susie snickered. “Do I have a choice?”

“Well, normally, no.” Ms. Alphys looked pointedly at Noelle. “But if you’ve only been tutoring for a week, and with your history… I’m willing to give you a one-time extension. You can make up the test in a week, if you think that’ll help.”

Noelle smiled at Susie. “I think it would be a big help. Susie?”

“But… why?”

“Because people want you to succeed and believe you can do it!” Noelle patted Susie on the shoulder. “All you need to do is ask for a little help now and then.”

“Thank you,” Susie told the floor.

“But no more goofing off during my lessons!” Ms. Alphys said. “And even if you aren’t taking the test, I want you to be studying for it while the other kids are taking it.”

“Okay,” Susie said, still not looking at the others.

“You can borrow my notes,” Noelle said, then laughed a little. “I don’t mind if you draw on them.”

Susie nodded.

“Alright, class is about to begin,” Ms. Alphys said. “I may be the cool teacher, but you still need to be in your seats!”

“Yes, Ms. Alphys,” Noelle said, and they walked back to their seats.

“I can’t believe that happened,” Susie said.

Noelle smiled at her. “Now you’ve just got to make the most of it.”

Susie nodded as she took her seat. “Yeah. Thank you…”

“You’re welcome! Here, let me get you those notes.” She fished in her backpack for her notebook, then left it with Susie. As she did, a thought occurred to her. “And, uhm, I really like your drawing.”

Susie blushed a little. “Oh, uh, thank you? They’re just dumb doodles.”

“No, you’re really good! Will you draw me something?”

“Sure! What should I draw?”

Noelle was going to say that Susie should draw anything she wanted to, but then a thought occurred to her. She blushed as she said it. “You drew me dressed up like you and Kris in your other drawings. Could you do something like that again?”

“Yeah, no problem! I’ll draw all three of us.”

Noelle beamed. “That sounds perfect. I can’t wait to see –” the bell rang, cutting off her last word. “Okay, well, I’ll talk to you later then.”

“Yeah, of course.”

Noelle sat down in her seat, but her smile stayed firmly in place. Everything was working out better than she could have hoped. Susie was going to take her studies more seriously, they had a plan, and to top it all off, they were friends now. Noelle even found herself humming a tune as she got ready for the day ahead.

“Noelle! Over here!”

Noelle looked up to see Susie waving at her. It was lunch, and Noelle was headed to her usual spot, but she smiled and shifted course to sit with Susie and Kris.

She took a seat beside Kris, across from Susie. The table was otherwise empty, but that wasn’t surprising; she knew Susie’s reputation.

It seemed Susie didn’t care much. “Welcome to the reject club,” she said with a grin.

Noelle laughed. “You’re not rejects!”

Susie shrugged. “What? It’s a compliment!”

Noelle didn’t comment further. Lunch was pizza that looked like it had been under a heat lamp with an unappetizing salad to go with it, but that was how things went with school lunch. Kris at least brought their own, but Noelle and Susie were stuck with what the cafeteria provided.

Which was another thing that Susie didn’t seem to mind. She ate half her pizza in one bite while catching an apple that Kris tossed to her. Noelle took a much more reasonably sized bite, confirming that the crust’s texture was reminiscent of cardboard and the rest of the ingredients didn’t do much to improve things.

“So how was the test?” Susie asked.

“To tell you the truth… I didn’t know all the answers,” Noelle said with a frown. Her mom’s words echoed in her ears. She was expected to show her the results, and they were not going to be flawless. She could only hope they’d be good enough.

“Does anyone ever know all the answers?” Susie asked. “I’ll be happy if I know any of them!”

“Don’t say that.” Noelle smiled. She could worry about her mom later, for now, Susie deserved proper attention. “Were you able to study at all?”

Susie, who was moments away from eating the second half of her pizza, put the food down and looked ashamed. “I, uh, I tried, but…”

“Hey, it’s okay!” Noelle said cheerfully. “I thought it might prove a little hard to study on your own. But that’s alright, we’ll study together.”

“Yeah, alright.” Susie picked up the pizza and shoved the rest of it into her mouth.

Since Susie was preoccupied, Noelle turned her attention to Kris. “How do you think you did?”

They shrugged and made a wavy hand motion.

Noelle nodded. “You know, you’re welcome to come study with Susie and me.”

Suddenly, Kris seemed very interested in their food. Noelle wouldn’t push them, but she didn’t have to. Surprisingly, Susie spoke through her mouthful of food. “You know, it wouldn’t hurt.”

Kris turned to look at her in surprise.

Susie just shrugged and swallowed. “I’m just saying, your grades aren’t the best either. And you know, Noelle is really smart and junk, I’m sure she could help both of us.”

Noelle beamed. “I’d be happy to!”

Kris let their face fall to the table, causing Susie to laugh. Noelle smiled as well, though she didn’t want to hurt Kris’s feelings by laughing at them.

“Oh!” Susie took a bite of the apple, then set it down as she chewed. She grabbed her backpack off the floor and pulled out Noelle’s notebook. But rather than give it back to her right away, she flipped through until she found something, then handed it to her.

Noelle’s eyes went wide. Susie’s drawings that she had seen had been good, but this was even better. Noelle didn’t know a lot about art, but she could tell that when Susie put effort into it, she was incredibly talented. “This is so good!”

“It’s just a dumb drawing,” Susie said with a shrug. “I know I was supposed to be studying, but you wanted a drawing, so…”

It was the picture she had said she’d draw. Kris was holding their shield in a defensive pose, kneeling behind it. Susie had her ax on her shoulder and was pointing at whoever their enemy was. And Noelle was there too, in the same robed outfit Susie had drawn her in before, but this time she had a bow with an arrow notched in it. Even though it was a pencil drawing with no color, there was so much life to it.

Noelle turned her attention from the art to the artist and shook her head. “Susie, I’m serious! This is really good! Where did you learn to draw like this?”

“I dunno. It’s not really something I learned, I just… do it?” She bit into the apple again, this time taking a bite directly from the core.

“You could have a real future as an artist, you know.”

“You ‘hink so?” Susie said through a mouthful of apple.

Noelle nodded. “I do! There are colleges that specialize in art, and if you start actively trying to learn art concepts then –”

Susie cut her off with a laugh. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and swallowed before replying. “Noelle, come on. I’ll be happy if I don’t flunk out of school right now. I’m never getting into college.”

“You could if you want to.” Noelle looked down at the drawing, thinking of how fearless Susie looked in it. She wished Susie would have that same attitude towards enemies she couldn’t hit with an ax. “I could help.”

“I don’t know.” Susie looked to Kris for help, but they just shrugged.

“Let’s not worry about it right now,” Noelle said, aware that this topic was uncomfortable for Susie. “But just… think about it.”

Susie looked down at her hands, and Noelle felt bad. She took a bite of her pizza and the three of them had a moment of eating silently.

Feeling bad for killing the conversation, Noelle asked, “So you think I’d be an archer?”

That got Susie to smile. “I don’t know, I thought it’d be cool though. At first when I drew the robe, I thought like a magic user, but we already have a magic user on our team, so I thought this would be better.”

Noelle giggled. She wondered if this was some sort of game they played together, like the pen and paper games her and Kris’s dads played together in college. She hoped she’d be invited to play sometime. “I like it. Thank you very much.”

“Hey, it’s the least I can do, right?”

Noelle continued admiring the picture. She would have to find somewhere to put it once she was home.

Lunch passed quickly, with the three of them joking and laughing. Mostly Noelle just listened to the other two joking, but she was more than happy to join in with their laughter. She wound up splitting her salad with Susie, who seemed to have a never-ending appetite.

It was the best lunch Noelle ever had. She usually just sat by herself and read during lunch time, or sometimes talked to whoever happened to be around. She was aware that she was the new member of their group and wasn’t as close as Susie and Kris were, but she felt like she truly was a part of their group now.

They were friends, and Noelle was so happy with that.

But of course, the bell rang, and it was time to get back to class. Susie groaned, but Noelle got the impression she didn’t actually mind too much. “And you’ll take notes in class, right?” Noelle asked as they walked out of the cafeteria.

“Yeah yeah, I’ll do what I can.” Susie waved a hand dismissively. “But you know, I’m not sure I’ll really figure it out on my own. We’re going to the library today, right?”

It was good that Susie couldn’t see Noelle’s face, because that wiped her smile away. She wanted to go to the library, but she had cross-country practice.

Remember, we have an agreement.

There was a lot expected of Noelle. And if she didn’t meet those expectations…

“Aww, come on!” Susie said. It dawned on Noelle that Kris had said something while she was zoned out, but she wasn’t sure what. Susie was addressing them. “It’s not that bad. And Noelle’s a great teacher!”

She forced a smile, because it was what Susie deserved. “Of course we can go to the library. I’m looking forward to it already.”

“Alright! Now help me convince Kris to come!”

Noelle laughed a little, but her heart wasn’t in it. Susie wasn’t the only one afraid to face her problems, she knew. But neither of them was alone. Noelle would help Susie figure out college, and her dad wouldn’t allow her mom to do anything drastic anyway. Besides, it was only one day of practice.

Things would work out. And after all, wasn’t friendship worth a few risks?

Chapter Text

Chapter Eight

One Step at a Time

Susie

“So once I’ve done all the stuff in parentheses, I combine all the x’s and other stuff –”

“Combine like terms.”

“Yeah, that. So then I can subtract this twenty-three from both sides, and I’m left with… x=7y?”

Susie looked up and noticed Noelle was staring at her. She didn’t look upset, but Susie still blushed. “Sorry, I probably got that wrong…”

“No, Susie, that’s right!” Noelle said brightly. “You’re really getting the hang of this!”

That made Susie blush even more. She had always thought that algebra was some foreign concept that she would never understand, but somehow Noelle had a way of breaking it down one step at a time, and it suddenly started to be clear to her.

Susie moved onto the next problem. Like the last one, it looked daunting, but she started looking at the individual pieces. As she did, she spun around the little dial on her fidget toy that Noelle had given her, which seemed to keep her occupied enough to focus on the work in front of her.

Just like the last one, she explained what she was doing as she worked. Little by little, she made it through the problem, and Noelle actually clapped when she finished. “Well done!”

Susie grinned and scratched the back of her neck. “Yeah, well, it’s not really a big deal…”

“Sure it is.” Noelle beamed. “I’m so proud of you. You’re really getting the hang of things lately, and not just in math. You’re doing so much better in every subject these days.”

“It’s all thanks to you, though.” Susie looked down at the sheet of problems, seeing them in a new light. Looking at the whole thing, she easily felt overwhelmed. But breaking them into pieces, she could do all of them, one step at a time.

“How about we call it a day,” Noelle suggested.

“Really?” Susie blinked. It wasn’t like Noelle to suggest they end a study session early.

For some reason, Noelle blushed and looked off to the side. “I was thinking, you’re doing so well lately, and it’s Friday anyway, and… and I wanted to reward you! So maybe we could… go out for lunch? My treat.”

Susie frowned. Of course, she was hungry. The only thing she’d had to eat was school lunch, and there never was any telling how dinner was going to go in her household. But at the same time, she didn’t want to accept Noelle paying for her, and there was no way she’d be able to pay for herself…

“I mean, I guess I understand if you don’t want to spend time with me if it’s not studying…”

“Oh come on!” Susie grinned, and Noelle giggled. “That’s fighting dirty!”

Noelle stuck out her tongue, then giggled again.

Susie sighed, but she was smiling. “Fine. We can go to QC’s or something.”

“Alright!” Noelle smiled. She was always smiling, and Susie found she was becoming very used to that smile. Every day, she found herself looking forward to seeing it more and more.

Spending time with that smile while they had a second lunch? Susie couldn’t ask for a better way to spend her day. They packed up, and then left the library.

The wind ruffled her hair and clothes as they stepped outside. Susie smiled as they started walking. Things were changing for her, and for the better. It had been a few weeks since they had started tutoring, and Susie really felt like she was understanding things a lot more.

She’d taken the science test and gotten a D, which she knew wasn’t very good, but she also knew she’d have gotten an F without Noelle’s help. As dumb as it was, a D meant that she’d gotten some questions right, and she hadn’t even been guessing that much! And then on homework assignments when she could use her notes, she was starting to pull C’s. Soon she’d actually be passing her classes.

“So uh, how much more tutoring do you think I’ll need anyway?” Susie asked as they walked, mostly to fill the silence.

“I don’t know. But I’m happy to help however long it takes. It’s nice to have a study partner.”

“Yeah, I guess. It’d be fun to do other stuff together too, though.”

Noelle looked at her and flashed that smile again. “I think so too. I never thought the two of us could actually be friends like this.”

Susie laughed. “Yeah, I know. No one really thinks I’d be a good friend.”

“That’s not what I meant!” Noelle said quickly. “I… actually always wanted to get to know you, but I was scared. Oh, not because of you though! Because of me.”

Susie scrunched up her face. “What do you mean?”

“Well… I guess I thought I’d blow it? I’d say something weird, or that maybe you wouldn’t want to be friends with the awkward nerd girl. Or even… a girl like me at all…”

Susie shrugged. “I don’t care about any of that. But to tell the truth, I never really thought I’d be friends with anyone. Then Kris came along, and some things happened, and well…” Susie showed a smile, trying to repay the many that Noelle gave her freely. “Things are better now.”

“I’m glad we’re friends,” Noelle said.

“Me too.”

They turned a corner, and Noelle’s eyes lingered on a building. Susie looked at it and realized it was the hospital. She passed by it every day, so she didn’t really think too much of it, but something about the way Noelle was looking at it brought back memories.

She frowned and turned away, noticing that Noelle did too. They were quiet as they walked past the building.

The mood shifted from sad to tense as they walked down the next street though. A police officer was parked on the curb and saw them walking by, and even though Susie quickly averted her eyes, she was noticed.

“Hey, you kids! What are you up to?”

“Just going to the diner, Officer,” Noelle answered with a note of confusion in her voice.

“Not causing trouble?”

“No, ma’am,” Noelle answered for them again.

Susie risked a look at the officer. She was a blue fish woman with red hair, and she was sipping coffee. She was looking directly at Susie.

Then her serious demeanor broke, and she laughed heartily. “Of course you wouldn’t tell me if you were getting into trouble! But you. I know who you are.”

Susie swallowed. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, I used to get so many complaints about you. Not recently though. Reminds me of when I was a kid.” The officer laughed again. “Oh man, I was always doing so much crap.”

Since it seemed the officer wasn’t going to leave them alone, they stopped walking. “Hey, I’m not doing anything, you kids want a ride?”

Susie forced a lump down her throat. She wasn’t fond of the idea of getting into a cop car, but it would look suspicious if she declined.

The officer laughed again, this time at Susie’s expression. “Relax, I’m not arresting you. Look, come over here so we can talk.”

They obliged, though Susie felt like her legs were made of lead as she forced them to take step after step.

The officer, whose name badge read ‘Undyne’, showed off her sharp teeth with a toothy grin. “Look, here’s the thing. I was serious, you know? I was a real problem kid. I just want you to know that there’s other ways. And you know, all that crap.”

“I think Susie is doing a lot better lately,” Noelle said.

“Susie, huh?” The officer stuck out her hand. “Well, Susie, my name’s Undyne.”

Susie shook her hand and tried to hide the fact that she was terrified Undyne was going to seize the chance to pull her in and drag her off to the station.

“Anyway, hop in the back. You’re going to QC’s, right?”

“Yes, Officer Undyne,” Noelle said. She gave a concerned look to Susie, but they were trapped. They couldn’t not get in the car, so Noelle opened the door and climbed in.

Susie climbed in after her, and then Undyne drove off while they were buckling up. “So hey, I think I know you too. You’re a Holiday, right?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Noelle answered.

“Yeah, I knew Rudy back in the day. Sorry to hear what he’s going through.”

“You knew my dad?”

Undyne nodded. “Yeah, him and Asgore. I was a kid who lived on Asgore’s street, this was back when I was a juvenile delinquent. I tried picking his pocket one day, and you know what he did?”

“Uh, called the cops?” Susie guessed.

Undyne laughed. “Nah, he stopped me, but then gave me the money! He said I must really need it.” Undyne’s smile faded to a frown. “I felt like real scum after that, you know? He was just such a nice guy about the whole thing.

“Anyway, after that he started checking in on me. He’d take me out to lunch here and there, and just acted like the older brother I never had. Someone to keep me on the straight and narrow, you know? Sometimes Rudy would be there, that’s how I knew your pop.”

“Mr. Dreemurr’s always been really nice to me too,” Noelle said.

“Wait, Dreemurr? Is that Kris’s dad?” Susie asked.

“Yeah, you know Kris? They’re a good kid.” Undyne took a sip of her coffee and rounded a corner. “I also know your mom, Miss Holiday. Of course, you probably figured that much. She and I work together sometimes. Never really been as friendly as your dad, though.”

“Oh, that’s just how she is.” Noelle waved dismissively. “Sorry about that.”

“Hey, no sweat! I don’t mind, it’s just always business with her is all.”

Susie looked between the two others. “Wait, how do you know Noelle’s mom?”

“You don’t know?” Undyne asked.

“Uhm, my mom’s the mayor,” Noelle said. “I thought you knew. Everyone knows I’m the mayor’s kid at school.”

“Oh. I, uh, I didn’t even know who the mayor of Hometown was…” Susie looked at the floor, feeling stupid again.

Undyne laughed. “Yeah, I never cared about politics until it was part of my job.”

They reached QC’s diner, so Undyne pulled in front of it to let the teens out. “Here we are. Told you I wasn’t secretly putting you under arrest.”

“Thank you, Officer Undyne,” Noelle said once they were out of the car.

“You’re welcome. I think I’ll swing by the hospital and pay your dad a visit. I bet he could use a friendly face.” 

“I think he’d really like that,” Noelle said.

“Beats doing paperwork,” Undyne said with a snicker, then she looked pointedly at Susie. “And hey, I know hanging out with a cop is the last thing you want to do, but if we see each other around… Maybe I could grab you a bite to eat once in a while. You know, take what Asgore did for me and pay it forward.”

Susie scratched at the back of her head. “I’ll, uh, I’ll think about it.”

Undyne laughed. “Yeah, right! Alright, you kids have fun.”

She drove off, and Susie let out a sigh of relief. Noelle put a hand on her shoulder. “You okay?”

“That… was terrifying.”

Noelle laughed a little. “Aww, I thought you weren’t afraid of anything?”

Susie thought of all the things that had happened to her in the Dark World. There were times when it had seemed hopeless, or like she might lose her friends. And here too, with having to face the school system and learn how to, well, learn. “Nah, I get scared too. Sometimes.”

“I guess everyone does sometimes.” Noelle opened the door to the diner, and they went inside.

One of their classmates – the goth cat that Susie didn’t know the name of – was there in a frilly dress. She looked at them with a blank expression.

“Hi, Catti!” Noelle said. “Can we have a table for two, please?”

Catti was silent for a moment, then said, “Sure.” She led them to a table and handed them menus, then asked, “Drinks?”

“Oh, I’ll have a sweet tea, please,” Noelle said.

“Uh, cola?” Susie said.

“Okay.” Catti walked off and left the two girls to look over their menus.

“Wow, I can’t believe she works in a place like this,” Susie said.

“Catti won’t say it, but she really likes to be around people,” Noelle whispered. “But don’t tell her I told you.”

“Got it.”

They looked through the menus for a few minutes, then Catti came back with their drinks. They both wound up getting burgers, as well as a basket of fries to share. Catti took the menus, and they were left to talk.

“So do you eat here a lot?” Noelle asked.

“Not really,” Susie said. She didn’t want to admit it, but she didn’t have the money to eat out, and had never actually been inside the diner. “You?”

“Yeah. Catti is my neighbor, so I hang out at her house when I forget my key. If she’s working, I come here instead sometimes.”

“Oh yeah? Sounds nice.”

“Yeah.” Noelle sipped on her sweet tea. “So… tell me something about you.”

“About me?” Susie frowned. There wasn’t a lot she wanted to say on that topic. “I don’t know. I mean, you know how school and stuff is like for me.”

“Yeah, but well… A lot of your drawings have other people. Are they friends from out of town?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess.”

Noelle looked down at the table and stirred her tea with her straw. “So… do you have, like, an out-of-town boyfriend or something?”

Susie laughed. “Dude, no boy could handle me.”

Noelle grinned sheepishly. “I, uhm, don’t really like being called dude.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. It just kind of makes me feel… well, never mind.” She blushed and sipped on her tea. “Anyway, what about someone who isn’t a boy?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

Noelle blushed deeper. “Well, I was thinking, uhm… I mean, I don’t know if you’d… That is…”

“Noelle?”

Noelle shook her head. “Well, er, you and Kris are really close!”

“Oh.” Susie laughed again. “Kris is great, you know? They’re my best friend. But like… no, I don’t think of them like that, and I’m sure they don’t think of me like that either. We’re just friends.”

“Oh. That’s good.”

“It is?”

“I mean!” Noelle shook her head furiously. “That you two know where you stand with each other! It’d be awkward to have a friend who… wanted to be more…”

Susie shrugged. “I, uh, I guess?”

Noelle was acting weird, but before Susie could think of it much, Catti returned with their food. She set the fries in between them and gave each of them their burgers. “Enjoy.”

“Thanks, Catti!” Noelle said.

Susie licked her lips and took a big bite out of her burger. It was so good, nice and juicy and the lettuce crunched perfectly. Susie wasn’t used to eating food that good, most of what she got at home were cheap frozen meals.

Noelle did the same, and she squirted some ketchup on her plate to dip fries in. They ate quietly for a few minutes.

Aware that she was eating much faster than Noelle, Susie slowed down and ate a few fries. She decided to try and get a conversation going again so she could pace herself. “So what about you? Do you have a boyfriend?”

Noelle shook her head. “Uhm, want to know the truth?”

“Uh… well I didn’t want a lie?”

“I don’t like boys like that.”

“Really? So, what, girls then?”

Noelle nodded, and then gave Susie a funny look. Before she could question it, Noelle blushed and turned away. “Anyway, I wouldn’t have time for something like that.”

Susie shrugged. “I guess. I never really think about that sort of thing.”

Noelle continued to blush and wouldn’t look Susie in the eyes. “Not at all?”

Susie chuckled. “Hey, I didn’t even have friends until a couple months ago, right?”

“I guess that’s true.”

Susie wasn’t sure what all the blushing was about, but she guessed it was probably something to do with talking openly about being gay. It wasn’t like Susie cared one way or another, her best friend was nonbinary, and she wasn’t even sure what she herself was really. Still, she knew that could be hard to talk about for some people.

“Well, I’m glad we’re friends now,” Noelle said with her usual smile returning. “You know, I admire you a lot.”

Susie couldn’t hold in a laugh. “Uh, thanks, but maybe pick better people to look up to.”

Noelle rolled her eyes. “I know it’s been hard for you, but you’re doing really well. It takes something special to turn yourself around, and it’s, uhm, well I just really think you’re great.”

Susie wasn’t sure what to say, so a second of silence passed. Then Noelle put her hands to her head and blushed furiously. “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I said that! I sound like a total dork, I’m so sorry, I–”

“Hey, Noelle?” Susie grinned awkwardly. “I think you’re great, too.”

Noelle was still blushing, but she smiled a little.

The door to the diner opened, and Noelle looked surprised at who walked in. Susie had to turn around to see, but then she shared the confusion as Undyne walked up to them again.

“Hello, Officer,” Noelle said. “Is everything alright?”

Undyne didn’t have any of her smile or laughter, giving Noelle a deathly serious look. “I think you should come with me.”

“What?” Susie furrowed her brow. “We didn’t do anything though!”

“It’s not like that,” Undyne said. “But I don’t have all the details. It’s, well, it’s your dad.”

“My dad?” Noelle was on her hooves in an instant. “Is he okay?”

“I… I don’t know. I’ll bring you to the hospital.” Undyne turned to leave, with Noelle following behind.

“I’m coming too.” Susie stood up and followed after them, leaving her burger unfinished.

“Catti, can I pay you later?” Noelle asked as they walked past their classmate.

“Go,” was all Catti said, and then they were out the door.

They practically ran to the cop car, all reluctance to get inside it long gone. They climbed into the back as Undyne got in front and started the engine. She drove off, and no one spoke.

Susie didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know what to say in this situation. She hadn’t even known that Noelle’s dad was in the hospital, so it wasn’t like she could offer some comfort about whatever was happening with him.

Instead, she reached her hand out and put it on Noelle’s, who turned her palm around so their hands were cupped together. They drove the rest of the way in silence, but drove it hand in hand.

There was an ambulance parked outside of the hospital. As soon as the car was stopped, Noelle was opening the door before the engine was even off. Susie was quick to follow, but she was stopped by Undyne. “Susie. Wait with me.”

“But –”

“This needs to be a family thing. We’ll wait for them in the waiting room.”

Susie was reluctant to obey, but Noelle was already running ahead. Undyne cut off the engine and got out of the car, and she and Susie followed after at a slower pace.

They went inside, and the sterile hospital smell washed over them. Susie hated it. She could only think of the last time she was in the hospital, and hoped that Noelle wouldn’t have to experience the same thing she did.

Undyne led them to chairs, where they stopped and waited. Susie turned to her and asked, “What’s wrong with Noelle’s dad.”

Undyne regarded Susie for a moment, then looked ahead. “Cancer. I don’t know a lot, but they’re moving him to the city. So, you know, it’s not good.”

Susie nodded. It wasn’t the same, but it had the same risk. She remembered her own dad in the hospital when she was still little, remembered all the blood, remembered when the doctor told them they’d done all they could do…

“Hey, Susie? Noelle’s gonna need a friend, you know?”

Susie nodded. “I know.”

“Just… be there for her, yeah? That’s what she’ll need through this. Just people who are there for her.”

“I don’t… know what to say to her.”

“Yeah, it’s never easy.” Undyne sighed. “I have to tell people bad news a lot. It’s part of my job. Because of that, I’m usually there when they break down. So here’s a tip. People don’t like to be told it’ll be okay, because a lot of times, it won’t be. Just… tell her you’re there for her. Let her tell you what she needs.”

Susie nodded.

Undyne lightly punched her on the shoulder. “You’ll do fine. You drink coffee? I can go grab us some.”

“Uh, sure.”

“Alright, I’ll be back soon.”

Undyne stood up, and Susie felt a hollowness that coffee wasn’t going to fill. All she wanted was for Noelle to not have to go through the same thing she did. All she wanted was for Noelle to be okay through all this.

But there were no guarantees. So she stared at the floor, and she waited, and she thought about how some problems were too big to solve, even one step at a time.

~ End Act I ~

Chapter Text

Act II

Tension Building

Chapter Nine

Blurred Life

Noelle

It was the first time the three of them were together as a family in ages. Noelle couldn’t even remember the last time they had all been together. Christmas, maybe? They had all been crowded in this same hospital room then, too.

Noelle had spent a lot of time in that room. She’d furnished it with a TV and game system to pass the time. This was where she’d confessed her crush, gotten lots of bad advice, and tried to feel normal every day she could spare the time.

And now she was in it for the last time. Crowded with her mom on one side of her, while a doctor and hospital techs stabilized her father’s condition.

Stabilized. That was a word that should not be used to describe her father. His condition wasn’t supposed to need to be stabilized because it was never supposed to become unstable. He was tough. He was a Holiday. He was Noelle’s father, and she needed him to be okay!

But life didn’t care what Noelle needed. Life did as it pleased, and Rudolph Holiday’s condition had deteriorated rapidly. They were just stabilizing him, and then they were sending him off to a bigger city where he could get better care.

That’s what the doctors said. And it was what Noelle kept telling herself. Her dad was going to get the care he needed, and then when he was all better, he’d be back. He’d be home in time for Christmas, even.

Noelle wiped her eyes with her sleeve, not for the first time that night. Carol noticed and pulled out a tissue from her purse. Noelle took it and wiped her eyes, then blew her nose. She threw away the tissue, and saw Rudy was smiling at her.

“Hey now,” he said, his voice weak. “Who was it that made my baby girl cry? I’ll kick his ass for you.”

That made Noelle cry harder, but she did her best to put on a brave face. “I’ll be okay, Dad. You just focus on getting better.”

“Heh, I knew you’d say that.” Rudy tried to shift position, then grunted with pain.

“Stay still, Mr. Holiday,” the doctor chided. “Your heart rate is returning to normal. Blood pressure is high, but acceptable for travelling. Glucose good, respiratory rate acceptable.”

“Almost time to go then?” he asked.

“It is, yes.”

Rudy gave a small nod, which was about the range of movement he seemed to have. “Can I have a minute with my family?”

“Of course. We’ll be out in the hall.”

The doctor and techs left the room, leaving only the three Holidays. Noelle and Carol stepped up to the bed.

“So what’s the deal?” Rudy asked. “Think they got a limo waiting for me down there?”

“Of course, Dad,” Noelle said.

“Rudy…” Carol took his hand. “You’re going to make it through this.”

“Course I am. Think I’d leave you two girls alone?”

“No,” Carol said with a sad smile. “No, you wouldn’t do that.”

“I’ll call every day,” Noelle said.

“Heh, don’t you worry about that. Just give your old man a ring once in a while.” Rudy took a deep breath. “See if you can get that TV delivered too, yeah?”

“I’ll bring it myself tomorrow,” Carol said. She looked at Noelle. “We’ll both come see you in the new place.”

“Oh boy, guess I’ll have to make sure it can pass inspection then.”

Noelle bowed her head over Rudy, and he lifted a hand to guide it over to his head. She could tell how weak he was when he touched her, it was clear that he couldn’t have forced her if she tried to resist. Of course, she didn’t, and Rudy placed a kiss on his daughter’s forehead.

“You be good, yeah?” Rudy said. “None of your wild parties while I’m gone.”

“Of course not,” Noelle said. She pulled away to see her dad was smiling, so she forced a smile of her own. “It wouldn’t be fair if you couldn’t come.”

“Damn right.” For a second Rudy’s smile faltered a little as he looked at his wife. “Carol, take care of our daughter.”

“Of course,” Carol said.

Rudy smiled again. “And I know I don’t need to tell you to take care of your mom, Noelle.”

Noelle just gave a few short nods, finding words were getting harder to form.

“Right. Well, guess we oughta get this show on the road. Got a busy night of teaching those fancy city doctors how to do their jobs.”

“Give them hell, dear.” Carol bent down to kiss Rudy on the head. “Love you.”

“Love you too. Both of you, ya hear?”

Noelle gave her dad a kiss on the cheek. “Love you, Dad.”

“A guy could get used to having you two around, you know that?” Rudy took a deep breath, but it proved too deep, and he grunted in the end.

The doctor outside must have heard because he popped back into the open door. “Everything okay, Mr. Holiday?”

“Yeah, we’re all good here. Think we’re about ready to get going, too.”

The doctor nodded, then signaled the techs to come bring Rudy out. They moved him from his bed to a stretcher, which was hard to watch because of the obvious pain Rudy was in.

Once they got him onto the stretcher though, he was smiling again. “Careful now, my wife’s right over there. She might not appreciate a couple of strapping lads carrying me off like that.”

The two techs both laughed, but Noelle barely heard it. It was like everything around her was dulled. Everything except her dad, Rudolph Holiday, who remained in perfect focus.

She watched him carefully on the way out, though she wasn’t sure why. She just knew it was important to pay close attention to him right now.

They wheeled him into an elevator, which they all crowded into. The whole way down to the ground floor, Rudy was joking with the techs and the doctor. He lacked his usual boisterous laugh, but he was smiling and joking all the same. Noelle told herself that was a good sign. If he had the strength to joke, then he had the strength to recover.

They left the elevator and went through the lobby. Everything was a blur as they passed through it, going straight to the waiting ambulance out front.

“Here we are,” someone said, but Noelle didn’t notice who.

“Yeah.” Rudy turned to his wife and daughter. “You two are my world. You know that?”

“Don’t you go getting all sentimental on us now,” Carol said, and she sounded like she was on the verge of tears herself. “I’ll never let you live it down if you do.”

“Heh, you wouldn’t, would you? Fine, then I’ll get all sentimental when I come back.”

“I love you, Dad.” Noelle had already said that in the hospital room, but she couldn’t think of anything else to say. Suddenly it clicked why she was paying such close attention to her father, and the tears came again. “I love you…”

“Love you too, sweetheart. You take care of yourself, alright?”

Noelle nodded. “Yeah.”

The techs loaded the stretcher up into the ambulance, then climbed in the back. The driver put the lights on, then they watched as it drove away.

And just like that, Noelle was alone with her mom.

“He’ll be okay,” Carol said, though Noelle wasn’t sure if it was to her daughter or herself.

“Yeah,” Noelle answered in either event.

Carol sighed then pulled a pack of cigarettes out of her purse. Noelle frowned. “You said you quit.”

“I did,” Carol said as she pulled one out. “Mostly. It’s just for stress relief.”

Noelle didn’t say anything. She didn’t want her mom to smoke, but she couldn’t argue with her now.

As she followed her mom to the parking lot, someone came running up while calling her name. “Noelle!”

She turned around and frowned. “Susie?”

Susie ran from the hospital door to where Noelle and her mom were watching in bewilderment. She held up her hand in a half wave. “Hey.”

“You didn’t go home?” Noelle asked.

“Uh, no. Undyne had to leave after a while, but I wanted to hang around until… well, I just wanted to be here.”

“Thank you.” Noelle wanted to be happy that Susie waited for her, but she just felt numb. “You didn’t have to.”

“Yeah, well, I wanted to.” Susie looked back in the direction the ambulance drove off, but it was already out of sight. “So, uh, how’re you holding up?”

Noelle gripped her arm tightly as she stared at the ground. “I don’t know. I know he’s going to be okay, but…”

“Yeah, I understand.” Susie stood with her hands in her pockets and looked between Noelle and her mother.

Suddenly Noelle realized they didn’t know each other. “Oh, Mom, this is Susie. She’s the friend I’ve been tutoring. And Susie, this is my mom.”

Susie nodded. “Hi, Mrs. Holiday.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” Carol said, though she didn’t sound pleased. Of course, that was understandable given the circumstances.

“Mom, can we give Susie a ride home?” Noelle asked.

“Huh? You don’t have to do that.” Susie shrugged and glanced at Carol a little apprehensively. “I can just walk. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t alone. I didn’t know you were with your mom.”

“Where do you live?” Carol asked.

“Not far, I can walk,” Susie said.

“It’s late. I’ll drive you.” Carol took a drag of her cigarette and blew out the smoke. The smell was sickening to Noelle, but she didn’t say anything. “I’m gonna smoke this then we’ll go.”

Carol walked towards the car while the two teens lingered a little ways away. Susie shoved her hands in her pockets and looked around awkwardly. “I really don’t need a ride…”

“Susie, you waited all night for me.” Noelle looked up at her friend and found she couldn’t even force a smile. “Please just let my mom drive you. For me.”

“Uh, alright…”

They were quiet for a moment, and Noelle kept her eyes on the ground. As she did, she thought of her dad in those last moments. The moments that she committed to memory, just in case she never…

She felt something drape around her shoulders and looked up to see Susie had put her jacket on Noelle. “It’s kinda chilly tonight.”

“Then you need this,” Noelle said with a frown. “I have fur, remember?”

“Yeah, well…” Susie kicked at the ground. “Just take it. You can give it back at school later.”

Noelle wasn’t really cold. She was built for much colder weather than what they got in Hometown, after all. But the jacket was big and covered her like a hug she could wear, so she just snuggled into it. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

Noelle looked down the street in the direction the ambulance drove off. Susie noticed. “Look, I don’t even know what’s going on, so I can’t say, you know, it’ll all be okay. But… you know, I am here for you. I’m… I’m not good at this stuff, but…”

Noelle shook her head and pulled the jacket tighter. “Thank you, Susie.”

“You kids ready?” Carol called.

“Yes, Mom,” Noelle answered, then led the way to the car. Although she’d normally sit in the front, she climbed into the back with Susie. Her mom didn’t comment.

“Alright, where are we headed?” Carol asked once they were all inside.

They didn’t talk on the drive at all, except for Susie telling Carol how to get to her house. It wound up being farther than Susie had led them to believe, so it was good that they had given her a ride.

Along the way, they passed through parts of town that Noelle had never been in before. She was surprised at how far out of the way Susie lived. As they drove, the buildings steadily grew shabbier, and businesses turned from grocery stores and libraries to rundown gas stations and the occasional discount store.

When they made it to a particularly seedy part of town, Susie announced, “That’s my house on the right there.”

There was no driveway, so Carol parked along the curb. They didn’t seem to have a car of their own, unless someone was out using it. Susie got out of the car, and Noelle did likewise.

She wanted to ask her friend for a hug, but she wasn’t sure how Susie would respond, so she just held the jacket tightly. “Thanks for sticking around tonight.”

“Yeah, no problem.” Susie flashed a toothy smile. “So will I see you at school Monday? Or are you gonna be out?”

Noelle glanced at her mom. She doubted that Carol Holiday was going to let her child miss school for any reason. “I’ll probably be there. See you then.”

“Alright, later.” Susie waved, then turned to walk inside. As Noelle was climbing into the front seat, she heard Susie turn and call out, “Oh, and thanks for the ride!”

Noelle waved as her mom pulled away. She frowned as she stared at the tiny house with the poor paint job and dingy lighting. For some reason, Noelle had never pieced together that Susie was poor, assuming her grungy look was a fashion choice.

And Noelle lived in the biggest house in town. Well, it was good that she’d never invited Susie over. She didn’t want to flaunt her good fortune. She had so much, and, from the look of things, Susie had so little. She felt guilty enough around Kris as it was.

She leaned her head against the window as they drove through the night. She couldn’t do anything for Susie by feeling guilty. And, really, she didn’t have it in her to feel too much of anything anyway. It was a brief distraction from the numbness, but then that set back in as the image of an ambulance driving away burned into her mind.

It seemed her mom still had Susie in mind, though. “I didn’t realize you had friends in this part of town.”

“I didn’t know Susie lived here,” Noelle said. “She goes to school with me.”

Carol looked at Noelle for a second before turning back to the road. “Why are you wearing that?”

Noelle frowned. “Susie left it with me. I think she didn’t know what else to do.”

“Hmm.” Carol sounded dismissive of Susie’s gesture, which grated on Noelle more than it usually would.

“I think it was very sweet of her.”

“It doesn’t even look clean.”

Noelle pursed her lips. “It’s clean.”

Carol sighed. “You know, respectable people don’t live in this part of town.”

“Susie can’t help where she lives,” Noelle shot back. “And she’s a good friend. She waited all night for me just in case she could help.”

“Don’t get smart with me,” Carol said.

Noelle didn’t answer. This conversation wasn’t going to be good for either of them. Although she could usually keep her attitude positive, even in the face of her mom’s negativity, Noelle knew better than to trust that in light of the circumstances.

And it would have been just fine, except her mom wasn’t done with the conversation. “Is this girl the reason you’ve been skipping practice?”

Noelle lifted her head to look at her mom, but she couldn’t find any words to answer her with. It was obvious in retrospect, but it hadn’t ever dawned on her that her coach would have called about that.

“She’s obviously a bad influence. And your last test wasn’t up to your usual standards.”

“I got an eighty-nine!” Noelle defended. “One more right answer and it would have been an A!”

“But it wasn’t.” Carol was glaring at the road ahead of them as if it was to blame for her daughter’s grades. “I know how these things go. If this isn’t taken care of, then it’s going to get out of hand.”

“Nothing needs to be taken care of!”

“Watch your tone.”

“Ugh!”

Carol sneered. “This is exactly what I mean. Your behavior lately is not acceptable.”

Noelle bit her tongue.

“Which is why things are changing. We had an agreement, and you’re not living up to your end of it.”

Even through the blur of the evening, that comment came through in perfect clarity. It stung like a blow, and all Noelle could do was hope she somehow misunderstood. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you can forget about getting a refill on those damn pills of yours unless you earn them.”

“No! You can’t take away my meds!”

“They’re not medicine. Just pills that let you pretend to be something you’re not.”

“Mom, please! I can pull up my grades, I won’t miss any more practice, I’ll do everything!”

“And when you prove that to me, we can discuss this again. But until then, my decision is final.”

“You can’t do this to me! You know Dad would never –”

“Dad isn’t here!” Carol said sharply. “And you should consider yourself lucky. If you keep throwing a fit about this, then the clothes are next, Nicholas.”

Just hearing that name made Noelle’s chest tighten. It had been years since she’d heard it, and in the time it had been away, it had only grown more powerful.

She didn’t say anything else. She couldn’t. That name robbed her of her ability to speak. It almost robbed her of her ability to breathe. Everything returned to a blur as they drove. If her mom said anything else, she didn’t hear it.

She barely even noticed when they reached the house. She was surprised to find her body able to move at all, but she left the car and followed her mom inside. They went separate ways at the stairs, with Carol continuing towards the kitchen and Noelle climbing the stairs to her bedroom. Maybe her mom said why she wasn’t heading to her own room, but Noelle didn’t notice.

Once the door was shut behind her, she started breathing rapidly. This couldn’t happen. None of this could happen. Her dad couldn’t be gone. Her mom couldn’t take away her meds. It wasn’t right.

That was all Noelle could think. That this wasn’t right. Weren’t things already hard enough for her? Didn’t her mom already make things hard enough? She couldn’t accept that this was how her life was supposed to go, it just… it couldn’t be, it wasn’t right!

But whether it was right or not, Noelle had to face the reality. And that meant preparing for the worst. She forced herself to take shaky steps to her bedside table, where she picked up her meds. She decided to hide them in her backpack, where she could keep them with her in case her mom decided to look for them to take more drastic measures. 

Once that was done, she collapsed on the bed. Finally free to break, she started crying. The minutes ticked by, and she didn’t know how long she cried for.

At some point she became aware that she was still wearing Susie’s jacket. She pulled it tight around her, pretending it would keep her safe from the world outside. It didn’t help much. Noelle had never felt more vulnerable.

She’d have to ration out her meds. She’d have to look into options if her mom wouldn’t support her, although she suspected a parent would have legal authority in this situation. And so, she’d have to do everything her mom asked of her and then some.

All she could think of was that if her dad were here, he never would allow this. If he knew… Noelle was half tempted to tell him as soon as she saw him, but… he needed to focus on getting better. He needed her to be strong for him.

Because that couldn’t be the last time she saw him. She vividly remembered every one of their last moments, because she had made sure she would in case the worst came to pass. But it couldn’t, this couldn’t be something else life took from her. Noelle needed her dad, she could not lose him!

No, her dad needed her to be strong. She couldn’t pile her problems on him, not now. Maybe when he was better, when he made it home, then he’d be able to help her sort out these problems with her mom.

And until then, Noelle would go through her blurred life one day at a time. She’d do everything she needed to placate her mom, and she’d make things work. She didn’t know how, but she’d figure everything out.

The jacket smelled like Susie. She couldn’t say she was comforted by the smell, because there was no comfort after the day she’d had. But that was what she thought about as she cried herself to sleep.

Chapter Text

Chapter Ten

Support

Susie

It was Saturday, and like most weekends, Susie was killing time with Kris. Kris had bought them a twelve-pack of soda and a bag of chips, both of which they’d mostly gone through. Then with nothing else to do, they set up the soda cans in a line out in the woods and were throwing stones to try and knock them over.

It was something to do, but Susie was growing bored. “You sure we can’t break into the school to go to the Dark World?”

Kris gave her a deadpan stare. They didn’t need to say anything to convey just how dumb of an idea that was.

“Yeah, I know, I know. We’d get expelled for sure.” Susie sighed. “It just sucks, you know? You got to go when I was studying, but I’ve been back once this whole time.”

Kris tossed a rock and knocked over a soda can.

“Nice.” Susie downed the last of another can of soda, but instead of adding it to their line, she crushed the empty can between her hands. Kris gave a thumbs up at the display of her raw power.

She tossed the crushed can at the last standing can, but she missed. Shrugging it off, she gave up on the game and started collecting the cans to throw in their bag and take with them.

“So what do you have going on after this?” Susie asked.

Kris answered her, informing her that they were going to dinner at their dad’s place.

Not that she had forgotten, but that made Susie think of Noelle’s dad. She hadn’t told Kris what happened yet. She hadn’t known what to say.

As she thought of how to bring it up, Kris asked her something that caught her off guard. She squinted her eyes at them. “Go with you? What, to dinner with your dad?”

Kris nodded.

“I mean… I guess I could.” Susie was hungry. All she’d had to eat besides the chips was a packet of plain crackers. But she wasn’t without her doubts. “I’ve never met your dad. What’s he like?”

Kris thought for a moment, then shrugged.

Susie snickered. “Real helpful.”

Kris kicked a can at her, so she picked it up and put it in the bag. Kris pointed at the bag and quirked their head to the side.

Susie grinned sheepishly. “I dunno, I keep thinking like… what would Noelle say about us littering? She’d probably be mad, and like, I guess she’s probably right?”

Kris walked over and punched her on the arm, so Susie laughed. “Yeah, pretty lame, but you know.”

Kris just shook their head and helped Susie collect the cans, then they started walking back into town.

There was some time before dinner, so Susie looked for a way to fill it. She knew one thing that needed to happen – a conversation. “Hey, Kris? Uh… what are Noelle’s parents like?”

Kris looked at her and cocked their head to the side.

“Just answer the question, dude.”

Kris shrugged and told her. Noelle’s dad was always really nice, and he had been a friend of their dad since their college days, long before Kris was born. He’d gotten really sick, but Kris didn’t know what was wrong with him. As for Noelle’s mom, Kris didn’t really know her. She was always working, and the few times they’d met, she hadn’t been too interested in talking to her daughter’s friend.

Susie nodded slowly. “It’s cancer. What her dad has. I don’t know what kind, but… Well, yesterday they moved him into the city.”

Kris didn’t say anything, and Susie understood. There wasn’t much to say.

Still, she found herself talking anyway. “I just don’t know what to do, you know? What the hell do you say to something like that? How do you make this okay?”

Kris shook their head.

“So… Noelle lives with her mom then?”

Kris nodded.

Susie thought back to her short interaction with the woman. She seemed alright. She’d given Susie a ride home when she didn’t have to, and she’d been there for her daughter and husband in a tough time. Still, she didn’t seem like the type of person to help see her daughter through a complex emotional time. And Susie knew how a sudden tragedy could change someone…

Not that I’m the kind of person to help Noelle through this, Susie reflected. Still, she was Noelle’s friend. Noelle was popular. She got along with everyone in class, even that obnoxious bird she sat next to. But… it was all so superficial. Susie was learning that about her. Even Kris, her oldest friend from childhood, didn’t really know a ton about her.

“Let’s… go to Noelle’s house,” Susie said slowly.

Kris looked at her with a puzzled expression.

“She’s, you know, upset.” Susie frowned, not sure what she was going to do, but sure that she was going to do it. “And we’re her friends. We gotta help her!”

Kris asked what they were going to do, exactly.

That made Susie angry. What did they mean, what were they going to do? “Whatever we can! Come on, if you don’t want to go, then just show me where she lives, and I’ll do it myself.”

Kris sighed, then led the way. Susie knew what neighborhood it was in since she knew Kris and Noelle were neighbors, but she wasn’t sure which house it was.

As they walked past all the picturesque suburban houses, Susie considered what she would say. “Hey, I just wanted to check up on you,” seemed weak, but what else was there to say? She couldn’t make any promises that he’d be okay, and even if she tried, would that help? Noelle knew Susie was more in the dark than she was.

They walked almost all the way to Kris’s house, but before reaching it, they stopped at a large, gated manor. “This is Noelle’s house!?” Susie said wide-eyed.

Kris nodded.

“Geez, her family must be loaded…” Susie had passed this place plenty of times when she was going to Kris’s, but she never knew Noelle lived there. She looked at the manor with awe as Kris pressed a button on the gate.

After a moment, a voice came out of the gate. “Hello?”

“Is that Noelle?” Susie asked, then walked over to where Kris was. There was a speaker on the gate and a button underneath it. “Hello? Noelle?”

“Is there someone there?” Noelle said again, and Kris held the button down.

“Hey, Noelle? Can you hear us?”

“Susie?”

Susie smiled. “Yeah, it’s me and Kris. We came to, well… we wanted to make sure you…”

“You shouldn’t be here, you could…” Noelle was quiet for a moment, during which Susie looked at Kris. They just shrugged. A moment later Noelle came back. “Stay there, I’ll come to you.”

Kris let go of the button, so Noelle could no longer hear them. Susie laughed a little. “Stay here? What, does she think we’re hopping the fence?”

Kris smirked, and they waited for Noelle to come down. They weren’t waiting for long, but the entire time, Susie was trying to think of something to say that would actually help. Nothing came to mind, and she still had no words when Noelle showed up.

Noelle walked over to a side door on the gate and unlocked it. She stepped through and smiled at them. Before they could say anything, she handed Susie her jacket, which was folded perfectly. “Thank you for lending me this.”

Susie took it, and ignored the way that Kris was looking at her. She unfolded it and slipped it on, noticing that Noelle seemed to have washed it. “No problem.”

She wanted to ask how Noelle was doing, or assure her that things would work out, or ask if she’d been to visit her dad yet. Instead, she looked to Kris to say something.

But it was Noelle who spoke first. “We should go somewhere else. If my mom shows up when you’re here…”

Susie frowned and followed Noelle as they walked away. “Are you not supposed to have visitors?”

“Well… She’s just really upset because of everything with my dad.”

That didn’t really answer Susie’s question, but she knew better than to pry. “So, uh… how’s he doing?”

“Better than last night.” Noelle turned and smiled as she walked. “I guess you didn’t really see him.”

“I kinda saw him on the way out, but you know…”

Noelle nodded. “Yeah. He was really weak last night, but he was back to normal when we visited him today.”

“So where’s he at now? Amberbreach?”

“Mhm. Mom and I went this morning, we just got back a little bit ago. The hospital there is so big, we got lost on the way to his room.”

“Oh wow. Well… that’s good right? If it’s big, they must have lots of stuff there to help people.”

Noelle showed a little smile, which made Susie feel like she’d said the right thing. “Yeah, you’re right.”

They stopped walking after a while. They hadn’t made it to anywhere in particular, but they were far enough from the house that they weren’t likely to be spotted. For good measure, they walked a bit into the trees to get away from the road.

Kris took a seat at the base of a tree trunk while Noelle and Susie remained standing. “So…” Susie asked after a while. “How are you doing?”

Noelle brushed her hair out of her face, which was pointless as the wind blew it right back in. “I’m doing okay. Seeing him today helped a lot. He really was back to his usual self.”

“Good.” Susie nodded, and Kris gave a thumbs up.

“We brought the game system I left for him, so he’s got something to do now. They let us hook it up to the TV in the room, so we didn’t need to leave the other one with him.”

“What, you got him his own TV?” Susie asked

“Well, Mom did. The hospital here wouldn’t let us hook games up to their TV, so I got my mom to buy him a smaller one for his bedside table.”

“Huh, that’s really cool. Must have helped a lot.”

Noelle nodded. “Yeah, I think it did. I tried to visit as often as I could, but I could only do so much. I’m glad he has something to do, and that they’ll let him have it in Amberbreach.”

Susie felt a pang of guilt, wondering if Noelle had started visiting her dad less because of their tutoring. She didn’t ask, in large part because she didn’t think she’d like the answer. “Your dad’s really lucky to have you.”

Noelle blushed. “I think I’m the lucky one.”

Kris rolled their eyes and shook their head.

“Kris is right,” Susie said with a smile. “You can both be lucky.”

“I guess you’re right. Hard to feel that way sometimes though…”

Susie wasn’t used to Noelle looking so sad. She didn’t know what to do though, so she shoved her hands in her jacket pockets and said nothing.

“Thanks for coming to visit. And for last night.”

Susie smiled a little. “Hey, what are friends for, right?”

Noelle also showed a small smile, which was almost sadder than when she wasn’t smiling at all. It just paled in comparison to her usual smile that lit up the room.

But Susie couldn’t expect that of her now. All she could do was try whatever she think of to keep that small smile growing bigger. “So, uh, I’ve got an idea. Do you want me to draw a picture of him?”

As soon as she said it, she felt like it was a stupid idea. What did she need a stupid drawing for when she could visit him? Not to mention she probably had photos and all that.

But Noelle didn’t seem to agree. “That’d be nice. You could draw him all better.”

“Yeah, of course!” Susie grinned. “Do you have, like, a picture or something of him? I didn’t get that good of a look to try and draw him from memory.”

Noelle reached into her skirt pocket and pulled out a phone. “What’s your phone number? I can text it to you.”

Susie blushed, aware of how dumb this was going to sound. “I, uh, I don’t have a phone.”

Noelle looked up from her phone at Susie. “You don’t?”

Susie forced a laugh. “Yeah, I know. Pretty lame, everyone has one these days.”

Noelle shook her head. “No, it’s not lame. I, uhm, I shouldn’t have assumed…”

“Hey, I know, just send it to Kris.” Susie spent a lot of time with Kris, she could borrow their phone for a bit to draw a picture.

“Okay.” Noelle tapped on her phone screen a few times, then a notification sounded from Kris’s pocket, and she put her phone away.

“Great. I’ll give it to you on Monday.”

Noelle smiled, which was all Susie wanted. “Okay, I’m looking forward to it.”

Susie smiled back, then realized she didn’t know how to continue the conversation. She scratched at her neck awkwardly. “So, uh… got anything going on this weekend?”

Noelle looked down at the ground. “Just studying.”

Susie frowned. “But you’re already, like, super smart? Aren’t you the top of the class?”

“Well, it’s between me and Berdly. But I’ve, uhm… I just need to brush up on some things.”

“Oh.” Susie forced a smile. “Well, hey, why don’t we all hang out tomorrow? We never really hang out outside of school, it would be cool.”

“That does sound nice.” Noelle looked off to the side and frowned. “But I shouldn’t… I’ve got a lot going on right now, and besides, my mom will be home tomorrow.”

“Oh, uh, okay.” Susie wasn’t sure what her mom being home mattered, but she was starting to get a bad feeling about Noelle’s situation.

But before she could figure out if she should say that, Noelle turned to Susie and smiled. “Anyway, I should be getting back home. Thank you both for coming to see me.”

“Are you sure?” Susie asked, then felt dumb. “I mean, if you gotta go then alright, but…”

“Yeah, I should get back to studying. I’ll… see you at school on Monday.”

“Okay.”

Kris got up and brushed themself off, then waved to Noelle.

“Thanks again, though. I, uhm, I feel a little better.”

Susie waved, then thought better of it. “Oh hey, we could walk you home.”

Noelle looked apprehensive. “Uhm, don’t worry about it. I shouldn’t, uhm, you don’t have to do that.”

Susie almost pointed out that it wasn’t a problem, but something stopped her. Something in Noelle’s behavior. Susie wasn’t so dumb that she couldn’t tell her friend didn’t want company going to her house, and while she didn’t understand why not, Susie could relate.

So she just awkwardly shifted in place and said, “Well, alright then. See you later.”

“Bye!” Noelle waved at the two of them, and then made her way back home.

Kris jerked their head in the opposite direction, so Susie followed. Along the way, she kept thinking of that apprehensive look Noelle had when Susie had offered to walk her home.

She wondered if Kris would know more. “So, uh… does Noelle usually not like people coming to visit her?”

Kris shrugged, which was about what Susie expected from them.

She sighed. “I just… wish we could do more for her.”

Kris didn’t say anything, but they did give Susie a weird look. Like she had something on her face, but they weren’t sure how to tell her.

Susie arched an eyebrow. “Something up?”

At first, Kris didn’t respond. Then they slowly turned away and shook their head.

Being friends with Kris often meant reading between the lines, but this time, Susie had no idea what they were thinking. She knew that asking wouldn’t get her anywhere though, so she didn’t bother. Besides, she was busy thinking of Noelle.

Not that thinking of her friend got her anywhere. Susie walked in silence, contemplating if there was anything she could do for Noelle that would be more helpful than drawing a picture.

Nothing came to mind, though. She walked silently with Kris, not knowing or caring where they were going, all while trying and failing to come up with something meaningful she could do.

It seemed Kris knew where they were heading, though. They put a hand on Susie’s shoulder to stop her, then pointed at a flower shop.

Susie furrowed her brow. “You think we should get Noelle flowers?”

Kris facepalmed, then explained it was their dad’s shop, and that he lived in the loft above it. Susie’s eyes went a little wide. She hadn’t expected to be thrown into meeting Kris’s dad already, but here they were.

So ready or not, all she could do was follow Kris as they walked into the building without knocking. The door swung closed behind Susie, and she looked around the shop.

Although she had never been in a flower shop before, she expected this was what one normally looked like. There were flowers all around the shop, bags of dirt, a cash register, and a row of refrigerators that had bouquet arrangements. That was a little surprising to Susie, who never knew flowers needed to be refrigerated, but she figured it must be for a good reason.

And there was a large white monster with long golden hair and a thick beard to match. He smiled widely as Kris and Susie walked in, then threw out his arms. “Kris! And what’s this? A friend?”

Kris just stood there and let their dad wrap them in a big hug. Susie got the impression they were uncomfortable, but resigned to their fate.

Thankfully their sacrifice seemed to mean she didn’t have to endure the same thing, as their dad just held out a hand to shake Susie’s. She obliged, and he shook her hand vigorously. “I’m Kris’s dad. It’s so nice to finally meet one of their friends!”

“Uh, yeah…” Susie looked to Kris, who didn’t seem to be making introductions. So she smiled awkwardly and said, “I’m Susie, I go to school with Kris.”

“Wonderful! It’s so nice to meet you, Susie. My name’s Asgore.”

“Yeah, uh, good to meet you.” Susie smiled awkwardly, not really sure what to say in this situation. Undeterred, Asgore stepped inside and gestured for the two teens to follow him.

He led the way upstairs, where the flower shop gave way to a small loft apartment. There was a small kitchen area, and a table beside it. It wasn’t much for a dining room table, only able to sit four people, but it was more than Susie could say about her own house.

Since there were only two chairs, Asgore took one from another part of the room. “Have a seat, I’ll get dinner going.”

Since she didn’t know what to say, Susie didn’t say anything. As for Asgore, he filled the silence by humming loudly as he moved about the kitchen.

“Can I get you kids something to drink? Some tea, perhaps?”

They both accepted, so he got a tea kettle going. Susie had never had tea before, but there was precious little that Susie didn’t like to eat or drink, so she doubted that would be a problem.

Dinner for the night seemed to be spaghetti, as he dumped a box into a pot as it started boiling. From there, he got out a saucepan and emptied a jar of store-bought sauce into it, getting that heated. Then the tea went off, and he saw to that.

All in all, Asgore was kept busy in his kitchen, but although it was a cheap meal, he was very attentive to it.

First he served them their tea, which Susie thought was okay, though she preferred soda. Then after a few more minutes, he served spaghetti with meat sauce, and a side of vegetables. He made a point of saying it was important for the growing teens to eat a full meal.

As for himself, he must have thought it was less important. He gave Susie and Kris the bigger share of the food, serving less for himself. Susie felt bad, wondering if her unexpected arrival was the reason, but neither Kris nor their dad said anything about it, so neither did she.

She did, however, comment on the meal. “This is really good!” Kris also gave a thumbs up.

Asgore seemed pleased with that. “Thank you. I know it’s not much, but we all make do.”

They ate quietly for a minute, then Asgore broke the silence. “So, Susie, how long have you known Kris?”

“A few months,” Susie said with a shrug. “They got stuck with me as a partner on a group project.”

“How fortuitous. Do you enjoy school?”

“Er…” Susie looked at Kris, afraid of disappointing their dad with an honest answer. Kris pointed out that no one actually liked school, which got a laugh out of Asgore.

“So much like me, you know. Your mom was always the studious one. Me, I would just spend classes goofing off with Rudy.”

“That’s Noelle’s dad, right?” Susie asked.

“Yes, he is. I suppose you also would know Noelle from school?”

Susie nodded as she slurped up a strand of spaghetti. “Yeah, she’s been tutoring me.”

“Very good! Toriel – that’s Kris’s mom – she was pregnant with them at the same time Carol was carrying little Noelle. Being neighbors, our families were always close. And of course, Rudy and I go way back.”

Asgore’s smile faltered a little. “I imagine Noelle must be in need of friendly faces these days.”

Susie twirled around her pasta. “Yeah, we went to see her before coming here. She’s hanging in there. She’s tough, you know.”

Asgore nodded. “I do know. She’ll be okay. But still, you two try to make things easier for her where you can. It’s just her and her mom now, and, well…”

Susie frowned a little. “Is there something wrong with Noelle’s mom?”

“Oh, well, it’s really not my place to say. But she’s not exactly a nurturing woman. She cares, of course, but I know Rudy worries is all.”

Kris asked their dad if that was why he was running for mayor.

Asgore smiled at that. “I guess your mother told you about that. Yes, I’ve decided to throw my name in the running. Carol does her job well, but she’s very… impersonal. I feel that the mayor of Hometown should be someone every citizen can approach for a friendly chat.”

“You’re running against Noelle’s mom?” Susie asked.

Asgore fidgeted. “Well, yes, I would be. I know it may not seem very nice to run against your friend’s mother, and I really don’t mean her any ill will. Consider it… a friendly competition.”

Susie nodded, though she did wonder how many friendly competitions ended with someone losing a job. She didn’t care about politics or who their mayor was, but she was worried about bad feelings coming to the surface between Kris and Noelle if their parents were running against one another.

And just as bad, if there was friction between her friends, what was she supposed to do about it? Kris was her best friend, but Noelle was going through a really hard time. They might both need her support in this, and she might have to choose between them. She didn’t want to have to make that choice.

Not sure of what to say, Susie focused on her food. Asgore seemed comfortable with the others being quiet, however, filling in conversation all on his own easily. “I’ve heard good things from Alphys about your education, Kris. She says you’re a model student.”

Kris didn’t comment, but Asgore kept talking about Ms. Alphys, whom he seemed to be friends with. It was a good topic, a safe one, that didn’t have anything to do with a potential rift between Susie’s friends.

Although if she was forced to choose just from her limited interactions, Asgore was more personable than Carol Holiday was. She worried about Noelle, and not just because of the stuff with her dad or because of the political drama. She just hoped that Noelle was getting the support she needed from her mother.

It was really none of her business though. So why did she still want to press Asgore for more information about Carol? Noelle clearly didn’t want to talk about it, so why did Susie want to learn more so much? Was she really that worried about the shy girl that she hadn’t even known the name of not so long ago?

Dinner was nice, as was conversation with Asgore, but Susie had too much on her mind to fully enjoy either. They eventually said their goodnights, and while he offered to give them a ride, he accepted when they turned him down.

The two teens stepped into the cool evening air, and they started walking down the road together. Soon they would go separate ways, but they had at least a little while of walking together.

“Hey, Kris?”

Kris looked at Susie.

“I think… We really have to look out for Noelle from now on.”

Kris was quiet for a moment, then agreed. Susie got the feeling they were doing it more for Susie than for Noelle, but at least they agreed. All she could think of was what Asgore had said. All they could do was try to make things easier where they could, and she would just have to hope that would be enough.

Chapter Text

Chapter Eleven

The Limit

Noelle

There was something special about running. When Noelle was out on the field, she didn’t have time to think. No worrying about her dad, no dread at talking to her mom, no fear that her fellow students would start to notice changes in her appearance.

There was just Noelle, and the world moving under her hooves.

She pushed herself faster. She could almost feel herself escaping her thoughts, like they were on the track with her, but they couldn’t keep up.

“I think you should come with me. It’s, well, it’s your dad.”

No, keep running. Just go faster.

“You can forget about getting a refill on those damn pills of yours unless you earn them.”

Faster.

“Hey, is everything okay? You seem kind of… distracted.”

Faster!

“You know, if you want to talk…”

“I’m so sorry for what you’re going through.”

“Why don’t you just take it easy today.”

“You know, if you’re not feeling up to it, I’m sure I can study by myself.”

No no no no no! Noelle needed to go faster! This was supposed to be her one escape, the thing she could count on to keep all these thoughts away. She was supposed to be safe here.

Just a little bit faster. If she could just go a little bit faster…

Although she stumbled a little bit, Noelle righted herself and kept going. She couldn’t stop. Her muscles hurt from the strain, but she ignored that. She just had to go faster, just a little faster.

She stumbled again, and this time, she didn’t catch herself. Noelle fell to the ground. Distantly, she heard people yelling something, but it sounded strange, like she was underwater. 

She tried to push herself up, but she fell again. She felt dizzy and thought she might throw up. Her breathing was ragged, and she found she no longer wanted to get up. She stayed on the ground and just wished things would stop spinning.

Someone was speaking to her. She felt herself being pulled upright and realized the person speaking was saying her name.

She blinked a few times, unsure what was going on but sure that she needed to let them know she was fine.

“Noelle! Noelle!”

“S-Susie?”

“Noelle, are you okay?”

Although her vision was fuzzy, Noelle could just barely make out Susie’s face in front of her. “I’m fine,” Noelle said. Or at least, she thought she said it, but she wasn’t sure if the words actually made it through her mouth.

She felt something cool and damp on her head, then heard another voice say, “Can you drink a little?”

Noelle squeezed her eyes shut tight for a second, then opened them. “Coach?”

“Here, try to drink.”

Noelle raised her hand to try and get the sports drink he was offering, but she couldn’t really manage. Still, she felt it press against her lips and took a few awkward sips, only after realizing that Susie was holding it for her.

“Mmm…” The fuzziness was starting to dissipate, and Noelle was becoming aware that Susie was holding her up while her coach kneeled beside them. Kris was also there, and they looked worried as well.

That wasn’t good. Noelle’s friends had come to watch her practice, and she’d worried them. She tried to push herself up to sit on her own, but Susie held her firmly. “Hey, take it easy.”

“I… I think I’m okay.”

Her coach had other thoughts. “No, I don’t like how that leg looks.”

“My leg?” Noelle looked down at her leg and saw it already looked swollen. Seeing it made her more aware of pain radiating from it, though she still didn’t feel it as much as she thought she should.

“What do we do?” Susie asked.

“I’ll have to take her to the nurse,” Noelle’s coach answered.

Kris pointed out that he had to keep an eye on the other students and offered to take Noelle with Susie.

The coach looked at the others for a moment, then nodded. “Alright, you two take her to the nurse.”

Susie nodded. “Will do. Come on, Kris, help me get her up.”

“I’m okay, I can stand,” Noelle forced herself up, then almost fell over again when the pain in her leg proved to be too much for her.

Thankfully, Susie caught her. “Hey, take it easy. Do you want me to carry you?”

Noelle blushed, imagining Susie carrying her through the school. “N-no, you don’t need to do, uhm, that.”

“Alright, but at least lean on me.”

Noelle obliged, keeping her head down so Susie couldn’t see her blush. Kris walked on her other side, ready to help in case Noelle stumbled.

The three of them made their way slowly into the school, Noelle limping all the way. Meanwhile, Susie kept an arm around her, somehow being both strong and tender at the same time.

“How do you feel?” Susie asked. “I mean, I know your leg hurts, but like, aside from that.”

“I don’t know,” Noelle admitted. “I feel a little lightheaded. Everything’s kind of fuzzy.”

“Yeah, okay. Hold up for a minute.” Susie stopped, so Noelle stopped as well. She looked into Susie’s face just in time to see everything shift as Susie picked her up like a baby.

“S-Susie!”

“You shouldn’t be walking. You might faint again.”

Although she was already hot, Noelle still felt her face heating up to unbearable levels. She covered it and tried to ignore the fact that she was all sweaty from running. It didn’t seem that Susie minded, at least.

Because school had ended already, the halls were pretty empty. Still, Noelle knew that everyone they did pass would have their eyes on them, so she kept her face covered. It helped hide her blush too, although she could always blame it on being overheated.

“You okay?” Susie asked as they walked.

“I’m fine, you really don’t have to carry me.”

“Just relax, it’s not every day that I give out free rides you know.”

Noelle uncovered one eye to see Susie was grinning at her. She could swear that her heart was going to beat straight out of her chest.

After a few turns through the halls and a few too many students catching sight of them, they came to a stop in front of Nurse Seraph’s office. Kris opened the door, and Susie carried Noelle inside.

“Oh, hello,” Nurse Seraph said. “Trouble on the track field?”

“Yeah, Noelle fell and hurt her leg,” Susie answered.

“Well, set her down on the examination table. Let’s have a look at you.”

Susie did as instructed, setting Noelle down carefully so she didn’t hurt her leg any more.

Noelle pulled at the track shorts she was wearing, wishing she had something longer on. She kept her eyes down as Nurse Seraph approached.

“I see it’s already swollen. Does it hurt much?”

“It’s sore, and it hurts when I walk on it,” Noelle answered.

“Let me know if you feel any pain when I do this.” Seraph prodded Noelle’s leg as gently as she could, although it did hurt quite a bit. After a few moments, she revealed, “I don’t think it’s broken, but it looks like a pretty nasty sprain. Still, it would be a good idea to go to the hospital for x-rays.”

Noelle nodded.

“Uhm, she also said she was dizzy,” Susie added, and Noelle winced.

“Oh? Are you dizzy now?”

Noelle shook her head slowly. “Not really. I think getting out of the sun helped a lot.”

“It’s probably heat exhaustion then. That can be pretty serious if it’s left alone. Here, I have a bottle of water, I want you to drink it.”

Seraph opened a mini fridge near her desk and pulled out a bottle of water, which she handed to Noelle, who drank it quickly.

“Easy now, you’ll throw up if you drink too fast. Slow sips.”

Noelle nodded and paced herself more.

“I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but you’re covered in fur. It may be autumn, but you’ve still got to be careful out there. It’s easy to overdo it.”

Noelle nodded again. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, be more careful. I’ll call your mother, sit tight.”

The last person Noelle wanted to see was her mom. Still, she said nothing. Seraph used a phone on her desk to call Noelle’s mother, who didn’t answer, so she left a message.

“Should I bring her to the hospital?” Susie asked. “Noelle’s mom can meet us there.”

Susie carrying her all the way to the hospital? Noelle was going to die if that happened. “I think I’ll be fine, I can just –”

“You won’t be fine,” Seraph said. “But you shouldn’t be out in that heat right now. I’ll give you a ride there myself, it’s almost time for me to go anyway. You kids are lucky I’m still here.”

Going with Nurse Seraph sounded a lot less embarrassing than being carried all the way there by Susie, even if part of her wanted to be carried again. Still, it was for the best. She couldn’t imagine what her mom would say if she found Susie carrying her around…

So they waited a few minutes while Nurse Seraph packed up and Noelle drank the rest of her water, then they were ready to head out.

Susie was quick to get to Noelle’s side before she could get off the table, however. “Maybe I should carry you to the car?”

“Susie, I’m fine,” Noelle said, then she dropped her voice. “Besides, it’s embarrassing…”

“At least lean on me.”

That was probably the best compromise she was going to get, so she took it. Kris once again opened the door for them, then Susie and Noelle left the room together side by side, and Seraph brought up the rear so she could turn the lights off and lock the door.

From there, Seraph took the lead, bringing them to the staff parking lot. Noelle kept her eyes on the ground to avoid the other students’ stares, and it was a painfully slow walk.

“We can go to the hospital with you,” Susie said as they walked to car.

Noelle frowned. She didn’t want Susie around when her mom showed up. “Uhm, actually, do you think you could get my stuff? Then Kris can bring it to my house when they head home later.”

“You sure you’ll be okay on your own?” Susie asked.

“I’ll be fine. It’s sweet of you to be worried, but I’m okay, really.”

“Alright, I guess…” Susie sounded reluctant, but the important part was that she agreed. 

They stayed together until they got to the parking lot, where Susie helped Noelle into Seraph’s passenger seat. She waved to her friends, said goodbye, and then they were heading to the hospital. Noelle breathed a sigh of relief, which was soon replaced with dread as she imagined what her mom would say about her getting hurt.

“You did the right thing by coming in here.” The doctor who had examined Noelle’s leg was writing something down on his clipboard. “It’s not a clean break, but your x-rays show a hairline fracture. It’s safe to say you won’t be running for a while.”

Noelle nodded slowly. She had known that, even if she didn’t know her bone was fractured. Life had taken another thing from her, although that was par for the course. “Okay.”

“We’ll need to set a cast, and I’m worried about you fainting as well.”

“Nurse Seraph said it was heat exhaustion.”

“Yes, I think she was right. But you’re a smart girl, Noelle. You know better than to get yourself into that situation. What’s gotten into you?”

Noelle winced. She wished he could just leave it alone. “I don’t know.”

The doctor sighed. “Is this because of your father? I know you’re worried about him, but you shouldn’t push yourself like this.”

“It’s not because of Dad.” Noelle frowned. She didn’t like the idea that this could somehow be his fault. “I just… guess I got careless today.”

The doctor regarded her for a moment, then nodded. “Alright. Well, in any event, I think you should take a few days off from school to recover. We don’t need you agitating that leg.”

“What?” Noelle blinked. “I can’t miss school.”

He grinned. “Oh, come on. Everyone knows you’re the star student at school, I’m sure a few days won’t hurt.”

“It’s not…” Noelle stopped herself from continuing. How could she make him understand it wasn’t that? Her grades were a concern, but only because of what other things that would mean.

“I know, I know. I was pretty academic as a kid too, and I wouldn’t have wanted to miss out on school. But you know, your body needs rest.”

Noelle looked down at the floor. He couldn’t… make her miss school, could he?

Before they could continue that conversation, the door opened. Both of them turned to see Carol Holiday walk into the room, and she locked eyes with her daughter.

“Are you hurt?”

Noelle smiled a little. “It’s not too bad. I guess I do need a cast, though.”

Carol sighed, then turned to talk to the doctor. They went over Noelle’s condition, what had happened, and what they would have to do from there.

Then they got to the one thing Noelle was afraid of. “But Noelle doesn’t want to take time off from school.”

“I’ll be fine!” Noelle said. It was important that her mom knew she was willing to fight to go to school, not to mention that she wanted to go for her own reasons just as much as her mom wanted her to go. “I’ll be careful and walk around on crutches and everything, I can’t miss school!”

“We’ll talk about it later,” Carol said simply.

The doctor nodded. “Well then, let’s get that cast going.”

The doctor had a nurse come in and assist in getting a fiberglass cast for Noelle. To make her feel better about it, they let her pick the color, and she chose purple. They wrapped her leg in protective cotton, then wrapped that in strands of fiberglass, which hardened as the doctor gave her instructions for caring for it.

“And you’ll come back in six weeks to get that off,” the doctor said.

Noelle grimaced. “Six weeks?”

“Afraid so. And it’ll be at least a few more weeks after that before you’re running again.”

Noelle groaned and fell back on the examination table.

“More time to focus on studying,” Carol said.

“I guess…”

It didn’t take too much longer for them to head out. They stopped at the front desk to check out and schedule the follow-up appointment, then Noelle hobbled out of the building on crutches.

“Do you need help getting in?” Carol asked as they reached the car.

“No, I can manage.” In truth, it was difficult to get into the passenger seat of the car, but Noelle didn’t want her mom’s help. She didn’t even want to be in the car with her mom, really, but there was no way she was hobbling all the way home.

Carol did help by putting the crutches in the back seat, but at least Noelle was allowed to get in on her own. She was buckled up and was ready to go by the time her mom made it into to the driver’s seat.

“So,” Carol said with a pointed look at Noelle, “you still want to go to school?”

Noelle nodded and met her mom’s eyes. “I can do it. I’ll be careful, and everything will work out.”

“Okay.” Carol started the car and backed out of the parking spot. “I think it’s good you’re so dedicated.

Dedicated to getting away from you…

Of course, Noelle didn’t say that.

“Do you have any ideas of how you’ll get home in the afternoon? I could take a late lunch in to bring you home, I suppose.”

“No, don’t do that,” Noelle said quickly. She thought fast and added, “I’m sure Ms. Dreemurr can bring me home.”

“Okay. I’ll ask her about it.”

“I can ask her,” Noelle said, wanting to do as much as she could on her own.

They pulled up to a stop sign, so Carol took the chance to take a look at her. “I’m glad you’re owning up to this.”

Noelle just nodded.

Carol started driving again. “Of course, you should have been more careful. You know better than to push yourself like that.”

“Yes, Mom.”

After a few more comments about how careless Noelle had been, Carol let them make the rest of the drive in silence. It was at least a short drive, then Noelle struggled to get out of the car while her mom got the crutches from the back, though she managed to do it without help.

“I have to go back to the office,” Carol said once Noelle was standing on her own with the crutches. “Will you be okay?”

“I’ll be fine, Mom. Thank you for getting me.”

Carol nodded. “I’ll see you at dinner then.”

“See you then.”

Carol got back into the car, so Noelle hobbled up to the front door. She went to fish keys out of her pocket only to remember she was still in her cross-country uniform and wouldn’t have her keys until Kris showed up later, and she had to flag her mom to come unlock the door for her.

Once that was done, Carol left, and Noelle shut the door behind her. She let out a small sigh, then hobbled up to the stairs, where she groaned at the thought of having to climb them up and down every day.

Since Kris was going to be stopping by, she didn’t bother to climb the stairs yet. Instead, she hobbled into the kitchen where they still had a landline phone – her cell phone was in her backpack – and dialed a familiar number on it.

It rang twice, and then a cheerful voice said, “Hey, there’s my girl.”

“Hi, Dad,” Noelle said, tears threatening to come out now that she was alone and talking to him. “How are you feeling?”

“Oh, can’t complain. Not doing too bad these days.”

Noelle smiled. “That’s great! I’m really glad to hear that!”

“Yeah, you know, I just needed to clear my head with some of this freshly polluted city air! I tell you, too much of that country stuff is bad for your health.”

“Of course, Dad.”

“So how was school today?”

“Well, it was fine until cross-country… I fell and hurt my leg.”

“Nothing too bad?”

“It’s a hairline fracture. They had to put a cast on it.”

“A cast?” Rudy sounded worried, then pushed that away and returned to his jovial nature. “And I ain’t even there to sign it?”

“You can sign it next time I visit. They said I need to wear it for six weeks.”

Rudy let out a whistle. “Guess that puts a damper on cross-country, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess it does.”

“Aww, you’ll bounce back in no time. How you feeling?”

“Not too bad. It doesn’t hurt as long as I stay off it, and, uhm…”

“Uh oh, an uhm, huh?”

Noelle blushed deeply. “Well… Susie carried me to the nurse’s office.”

“Aah, atta girl!”

Noelle giggled, finally finding the time to feel a little bit of happiness. “I wonder what she’ll say at school tomorrow.”

Rudy was quiet for a moment, then said, “You sure you should be going to school right now?”

“I’ll be fine, Dad. I can’t miss school over this.”

“Noelle… there’s more important things than getting good grades.”

More important things like getting out of the house, and even more important than that, away from her mom. “I know, but I’m really okay. Uhm, I should go though, I have to call Ms. Dreemurr and see if she can bring me home in the afternoons so I don’t have to walk so much.”

“I just worry about you, kiddo. I’m so proud of you for how good you do in school, but you know… There’s a limit to how hard you can push yourself.”

“I do know, Dad. But I’ll take care of myself.”

After a moment, Rudy spoke with a resigned tone. “Alright. Love you, Noelle.”

“Love you too, Dad. I’ll call tomorrow and let you know how school went with the cast.”

“Yeah yeah, let me know all the juicy stories of Susie doting on you.”

“Dad!”

Rudy laughed. “Talk to you tomorrow, sweetheart.”

“Bye, Dad.”

Noelle hung up the phone, but she didn’t call the Dreemurr house right away. Instead she sighed and looked down at the cast. Yet another thing life threw at her, but like everything else, she would rise above it.

She was a Holiday, she was her father’s daughter. Nothing would keep her down, and she would show her mom that she deserved to be respected, and she would take care of herself, and everything would be alright.

Even though there was no one there to see it, Noelle forced a smile onto her face as she called the Dreemurr residence.

Chapter Text

Chapter Twelve

Chemical Reactions

Susie

A lot had happened to Susie in a short amount of time. And not just the stuff in the Dark World; school life was becoming much more interesting for the formally apathetic teen. She even found herself anticipating school sometimes. Not excited, not really that far. But there were good things about it that she looked forward to.

Today pushed that even further. She spent much of the night tossing and turning, equal parts hope and dread about what the day would bring. It was dumb. She and Kris got hurt all the time in the Dark World, but for some reason this time was different. It was Noelle that had gotten hurt, and although she couldn’t place why, that made the whole thing worse.

She even went to school early. She’d usually time her departure so she barely had any time before class started, but she wanted to get there as soon as she possibly could, just in case. She wasn’t sure in case of what, but it felt important that she was at school early.

Although she may have overshot it a little, since she was the first one in class. Ms. Alphys gave her a perplexed look as she walked into the empty classroom. “Oh, hello, Susie. You’re early today.”

“Uh, yeah. I…” What was she supposed to say? She wanted to get to school early to see Noelle? Somehow, that was embarrassing to admit to. “I just woke up early, I guess.”

“Oh, I guess that makes sense. Well uhm, I suppose I should take this time to let you know I’m really happy to see you’re doing so much better in class. All that tutoring is really paying off!”

Susie took a seat and smiled awkwardly. “I guess it is. All thanks to Noelle.”

“Yeah, she’s a good kid.”

Susie nodded and stared down at her desk. Noelle was a good kid. Too good. She did so much for everyone, and now she was hurt. That was why it was different. Noelle deserved so much more than she got.

As if spurred on by Susie’s thoughts of her, the door to the classroom opened with Noelle on the other side. She smiled at Ms. Alphys, then her eyes fell on Susie, who got a confused look.

That was of less interest to Susie then the fact that Noelle was walking with crutches and had a cast on her leg. Susie rushed to her feet and crossed the room without so much as saying anything to her friend, stopping just in front of her.

“Uh, hey,” Susie said awkwardly.

“Hi.” Noelle shook off her confusion to smile at Susie. “You’re early.”

“Yeah, I…” Susie shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. So, uh, hey! Let me get your bag!”

“You don’t have to – oh, uh, okay.”

Noelle was left without a chance to protest as Susie took her backpack from her. Slinging it over her shoulder, she led the way into the room, setting it beside Noelle’s desk.

It took a moment for the injured girl to make her way across the room, slowed by her leg, and when she did, Susie held an arm out. “Here, I’ll help you get in your seat.”

“I’m fine, Susie.” Noelle blushed and tried to get into her seat on her own, then thought better of it, and used Susie’s arm to stabilize herself as she sat down.

“Uh,” Ms. Alphys said, causing the girls to turn and look at her. “Are you okay?”

Noelle waved a hand dismissively. “I’m fine, I just took a bit of a fall yesterday in cross-country practice.”

“Geez, I didn’t think you’d have to be in a cast…” Susie took a seat at the desk beside Noelle’s rather than at her usual desk.

“I didn’t either, but the doctor said the bone is fractured. I must have twisted my leg on the way down or something.”

“Well, just take it easy,” Ms. Alphys said. “We don’t want you making anything worse.”

“I’ll be careful,” Noelle said brightly.

“You sure you won’t overdo it?” Susie scratched at her neck awkwardly. “You kinda… overdo everything, you know?”

“Aww, you don’t have to be worried about me.”

“I mean, I’m not worried, I just…” Susie looked down at the ground. “Er, think I should maybe take care of you today?”

“S-Susie?” Noelle blushed and went wide eyed, then grinned and covered her face with one hand while waving the other. “You don’t have to do that! I’ll be fine!”

“Ms. Alphys? Can I switch seats so I can look after Noelle today?” Susie asked.

“Well, I guess so,” Ms. Alphys said. “I do want to make sure she’s taken care of…”

“That’s so sweet of you! Thank you.”

Hearing Noelle sound so happy with her made Susie smile. It helped that she was smiling so much too, she had such a pretty smile. And the way she blushed made Susie do the same… and…

Oh.

Oh no.

It’s okay. Don’t freak out. It’s all alright, no need to panic.

Susie splashed her face with water from the bathroom sink again, but it didn’t do much besides make her wet. When she looked up into the mirror, she saw she hadn’t managed to wash the fear from her eyes.

She glanced towards the door. Kris and Noelle were waiting out in the cafeteria for her. She had excused herself to the bathroom when Noelle had revealed that she packed a little lunchbox just to share it with Susie. And that should be great! Susie loved free food, possibly more than anything else in the world, but then…

When it was from Noelle… she just couldn’t stop blushing.

And worst of all, she knew why. She wasn’t stupid. She was new to all of this, but she wasn’t dumb. But… just what the hell was she supposed to do now?

Well, she couldn’t keep hiding in the bathroom forever. She got some paper towels to wipe off her face, then made for the door. She put her hand on it and took a deep breath before pushing it open.

Noelle was laughing at something Kris had said, but she stopped to wave at Susie as she approached. Susie awkwardly raised her hand in a small wave of her own.

There was nothing she could do aside from crossing the cafeteria to sit with her friends, so although she wanted to make a run for it, Susie resigned herself to her fate. She’d even sat next to Noelle, not letting the revelation get in the way of taking care of her injured friend.

And so Susie could do nothing but return to her seat beside Noelle. None the wiser to Susie’s internal struggle, Noelle smiled and opened up the lunchbox and handed over a cookie. “They’re sugar cookies. I didn’t know what you really like, so I made something kind of simple.”

“Oh, uh, thank you.” Susie took the cookie and stared at it without eating. Noelle had made it. She’d made it for her. “You really shouldn’t have, though…”

“I wanted to say thank you for helping me when I got hurt. And, well, and before that…” Noelle looked down at the table. “Besides, I couldn’t stand to be in bed all day, I had to get up and do something.”

That stopped Susie from eating for an entirely different reason. “Oh! Noelle, you shouldn’t be up making cookies, you need to rest, and –”

Kris interrupted by reaching across the table and stealing a piece of the cookie.

Susie’s mouth fell open and she reached for it, but Kris laughed and pulled back, keeping the cookie out of arm’s reach.

“Dude, that was mine! Get your own!”

Noelle laughed as well and placed her hand on Susie’s outstretched arm, which caused her heart to beat faster. “It’s okay, I made enough for all of us. Here, have another one.”

Susie shoved the remnants of the first cookie in her mouth, then took a second. Her mind couldn’t help but dwell on the brief touch of her hand against Noelle’s.

Gah, what is wrong with me? It’s Noelle! She’s a friend! Since when am I like this!?

Since the morning. Since realizing what that smile, what that laugh, what that face did to her.

But that just meant she had to try harder than ever to be a good friend. Once she finished chewing the cookie and swallowed, she showed a toothy smile. “This is really good.”

Noelle smiled as if Susie’s world wasn’t falling down around her.

It had been like that all day. Much to Berdly’s annoyance, Susie had stolen his seat to care for Noelle, and she’d done so while her head spun constantly at the revelation that she might have a teeny tiny bit of a crush on her friend.

It was new to her. So much about having friends was new and unexpected, but this… this was something else entirely. She wanted to run away from Noelle, say she was sick and had to go home, just clear her head of the whole situation so she could think.

But of course, she wouldn’t. No, then Noelle would worry about her, because she was too caring like that, and Susie didn’t want that. She had enough on her mind already. Besides, Noelle’s backpack wasn’t going to carry itself around.

Mostly she just wanted the day to be over. At least then she could think. Even if it would be on her own. There was no way she could tell Kris about this; part of her wanted to so she could ask for advice, but a much bigger part of her would rather die than let them find out.

So her thoughts went, ping ponging between options that all felt equally horrible. She didn’t focus too much on the others for a while, but she was forced to take note of them again when she realized Noelle was staring at her.

Susie blinked. “Uh…”

“Are you feeling alright?” Noelle asked. “You’ve been quiet all day, and you’ve barely even eaten.”

Susie forced a grin. “Yeah, I’m fi–”

She was cut off as Noelle placed the back of her hand on Susie’s forehead. Her face instantly felt warm. “You feel a little feverish… Maybe you should go to the nurse?”

“No no, I’m fine! Look!” Susie opened her mouth and shoved a whole cookie into it, flashing a thumbs up as she chewed with vigor. “So good!”

“Well, if you’re sure…”

Susie swallowed and nodded. “Positive.”

Kris leaned back and folded their arms, looking between the two girls and smirking.

Susie jumped to her feet. “And just what the hell is that supposed to mean!? You got something to say to me!?”

Kris’s smirk grew into a grin, and they just winked. Susie lunged across the table for them, but they jumped out of their chair and stepped back just in time. Despite Susie’s glare, Kris laughed as they got out of the way of her reach.

Noelle laughed too. “You two are so funny!”

Susie squinted at her, then lightly punched Noelle on the shoulder. “Yeah, well… Kris is gonna see how ‘funny’ I am later…”

“Aww, go easy on them.” Noelle waved a hand dismissively. “You know they’re just messing with you.”

Susie grumbled and sat down, but as she did, she took Kris’s pudding cup while glaring at them.

Now Kris was the one lunging across the table, trying to get back their pudding. Susie just opened her mouth and bit into it, chewing on the plastic as her sharp teeth punctured the cup and caused the dessert to ooze out.

Playing around with Kris was a good distraction, at least. Lunch passed, and Susie managed to keep out of her thoughts pretty well. On the way back she carried Noelle’s bag back to class, the two girls following behind Kris.

“So, uhm…” Noelle looked down at the ground as she walked, her steps intercut with the sound of the crutch on the floor. “Do any more drawing lately?”

“Nah, not since that picture of your dad.”

“Thank you again, by the way. I showed him, and he loves it.”

“Oh, you showed him? That’s cool. You get to visit him again?”

“On the weekend, yeah.”

Susie nodded. “Maybe I’ll draw something today when I get home.”

“You should.”

Susie smiled as they walked into the classroom, finding their seats. Berdly glared Susie, which just made her laugh.

At least things were easier when they were in class. Sure, she was sitting right next to Noelle, but she would have lectures, notes, and assignments to distract her.

Of course, that reminded her of Noelle too. Every time she actually understood what was going on – which was more often than not, though she did still struggle with some subjects – she had the deer girl to thank for it. She sure was never going to pull herself up on her own.

And maybe, Susie owed her even more than that.

“I, er, thought we might do something a little different today,” Ms. Alphys said. “Something a bit more hands on.”

Noelle looked to Susie and beamed, and Susie understood. It was what Noelle had said would be best way for her to learn, a hands-on lesson.

Ms. Alphys gestured to her desk, which had a box of strawberries, salt, dish soap, and several other things on it. “We’re going to be extracting DNA from strawberries. Isn’t that cool!”

Although Ms. Alphys was clearly expecting her class to go crazy at the practical science lesson, most of them just stared silently. After a moment, Noelle alone answered. “That does sound really cool!”

Wanting to say something as well, Susie asked, “Uh, can we eat the strawberries after?”

Alphys gave a crooked grin. “Uh, well, I suppose we can eat any leftovers! B-but not until after the lesson, and not the ones we’re experimenting on! Now, everyone get into pairs for this experiment and I’ll pass out what you need!”

“I, uhm, I guess you want to partner with Kris?” Noelle said.

Noelle may have been the deer, but Susie was definitely the one staring into headlights. She couldn’t manage to answer, so she looked frantically back at Kris instead. Mercifully, they were already talking to another monster kid.

“I, uh, I guess we can be partners,” Susie said. “If you don’t want to be partners with Berdly, I mean.”

“I think it would be fun to be partners.” Noelle smiled, so Susie smiled as well.

Susie scooted her desk closer to Noelle’s and, Ms. Alphys gave them some supplies and strawberries. The teacher also gave Susie a meaningful look, then moved onto the rest of the class.

“Now, listen carefully to my instructions, everyone.”

“I still think it would have been fine,” Susie said as she walked out of school with her hands behind her head.

“Susie, you cannot eat the strawberry mixture! It had dish soap in it!”

Susie just laughed. It was true that dish soap may be just a little past what she was willing to eat, but how could she not want to eat the strawberry DNA? Kris had been on her side.

“Well, whatever. It was a cool lesson.”

“Did you learn anything?” Noelle asked.

Susie shrugged. “I guess. It was easier to follow along with the lesson after seeing it all work, you know?”

Noelle beamed. “I’m really glad to hear that.”

The three friends were walking to the parking lot, where Kris’s mom was waiting for them. Since walking home would be a problem for Noelle with her leg, Toriel had agreed to take her home. It did mean that Kris was already heading home as well, but at least it meant that Noelle was okay.

“Hello, children,” Toriel said as they approached the car. “How was class today?”

“It was good, Ms. Dreemurr,” Noelle said. Even Kris gave a thumbs up as they climbed into the front passenger seat.

“Here, let me help you get in.” Susie offered her arm to steady Noelle as she climbed into the back seat, holding her backpack and crutches as she did. Once Noelle was in, Susie handed her things to her.

“I can give you a ride as well, Susie,” Toriel said. “It wouldn’t be very nice to take your friends away and make you walk home alone.”

Susie laughed. “Don’t worry about me, I walk home alone all the time.”

“Well, not today,” Toriel said. “Why don’t you get in beside Noelle, and you can tell me about this science project Alphys mentioned.”

Although she didn’t really want Toriel going to her house, Susie obliged. She climbed into the back, and the three teens explained how their day went as Toriel pulled out of the parking space.

“Now then, where do you live, Susie?” Toriel asked as she pulled up to the first intersection. “Or did you want to come over to our house for a little bit? If your parents don’t mind, of course.”

Susie saw her perfect opportunity for escape, agreeing readily. “Oh yeah, that sounds good! My mom won’t care.”

“I see.” For a moment, it looked like Toriel had something on her mind, and Susie wondered if she’d said the wrong thing. Thankfully, she moved on quickly. “And what about you, Noelle? You are also always welcome, you know.”

“Thank you, Ms. Dreemurr, but I better go home. Uhm, my mom is expecting me.”

“Yes, of course. Very well then.”

Toriel resumed driving, and Susie felt like she’d dodged a bullet. Now she could head home on her own when she was ready, and Toriel wouldn’t have to see her house.

She turned to say something to Noelle, but she stopped when she saw that the other girl was staring out the window. Her reflection had a frown, and Susie wasn’t sure what to say.

Because no one was saying anything, Toriel turned on the radio. It was an oldies station, playing songs from well before Susie was born. It wasn’t something she’d normally listen to, but she was grateful that the music filled the silence.

 When they pulled up to Noelle’s house, she smiled at everyone else in turn. “Thank you for the ride, Ms. Dreemurr. Susie, Kris, I’ll see you two at school tomorrow.”

“Yeah, see you,” Susie said. Kris just waved.

Toriel waited until Noelle made it through the gate, no doubt because of the deer girl’s habit of forgetting her keys, and then pulled back into the street as Noelle crossed her spacious front yard.

“Now then, what do you kids say to something sweet? We could bake a pie together.”

“That’d be great!” Susie said enthusiastically, causing Toriel to laugh.

“That is, if Kris doesn’t mind,” Toriel said with a sideways glance at her child. “They never want to bake with me anymore.”

Kris slumped in their seat and mumbled their agreement.

Since the Dreemurrs and the Holidays were neighbors, it was a short drive to their house. Everyone filed out of the car and followed Toriel inside.

“You two go put away your school things in Kris’s room, I’ll start getting things ready.”

Kris nodded, and Susie followed them upstairs.

This was it. If Susie was going to have the chance to talk to Kris about her crush, if she could even call it that, then this would be the time to do it.

“So, uh…” Susie tried to find the words. “Noelle, huh? She’s like… cool.”

Kris shrugged.

“So hey, uh, this is gonna sound crazy but… Well, I think I might… I, er, I mean…”

Kris turned to look at Susie, and she panicked. “I… I think we should take her to the Dark World!”

Kris frowned, so Susie dug her heels in. “Come on, dude! It’d be awesome to hang out with Noelle, Lancer, and Ralsei all at the same time!”

Kris sighed and placed a hand on Susie’s shoulder, then said a few words.

“Tell her what?” Susie asked. “About the Dark World? Well, yeah, obviously we’ll have to tell her if we bring her, but I wasn’t gonna just do it without talking to you. It’s kinda our thing, you know?”

Kris rolled their eyes and walked away, leaving Susie staring after them with a confused expression.

After a moment, she followed them downstairs, where Toriel was waiting for them. “Wash your hands, then we’ll get started.”

Susie and Kris did just that, then they followed Toriel’s instructions in baking an apple pie. As they worked, Toriel spoke with Susie. “So, Susie, does your mom bake?”

Susie snorted, the idea of her mom baking a pie just too ridiculous to imagine. “No.”

“What about your dad?”

Susie got quiet for a moment, then gave the same answer. “No.”

“Poor thing, growing up without fresh baked treats. Well, you are always welcome to come bake with me.”

Susie smiled. “Thanks, Ms. Dreemurr.”

“Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

Susie really hoped they weren’t going to keep talking about her home life. “No, just me and my mom.”

“That’s how it’s been for Kris and me ever since their brother went off to college. You didn’t get the chance to meet him when he was visiting, did you?”

Susie shook her head. That had been a lonely week, when Kris was busy with their brother and Susie was on her own.

“I’m sure you’ll get the chance sooner or later. You and Kris have gotten very close lately.”

Susie punched Kris on the shoulder. “Yeah, well, you know. Someone’s gotta look after this nerd.”

Toriel laughed. “Yes, I suppose someone must.”

Kris shoved Susie back, but she let it slide, not wanting to cause a scene while they were baking with Toriel.

Thankfully, Toriel dropped the conversations about Susie’s home life, instead telling her about Kris growing up. It was a fun conversation topic, especially since Kris was a total troublemaker as a kid, always playing pranks on everyone around them.

Susie laughed at one particular story. “Oh geez, you really did that, Kris?”

Kris just shrugged, but they seemed to be amused by the story as well.

“Oh yes, they were grounded for a month after that.” Toriel scrunched up her face and looked off to the side. “I don’t think they ever regretted it though.”

It was funny to imagine Kris regretting a prank, but Susie supposed caring about something like that was what a good mom would do.

“I was kinda the same,” Susie said. “Except it wasn’t really pranks and stuff when I was little. I got into fights and stuff all the time.”

“A habit I hope you’ve broken since?” Toriel asked. She didn’t sound like she was judging. In fact, she sounded… no, that couldn’t be right.

“Yeah, I’m done with that stuff. These days I’m…” What? A hero? She couldn’t say that. “I’m trying to be a little better, I guess.”

“I’m very glad to hear that,” Toriel said with a smile, and for some reason, Susie believed her. Although she wasn’t sure why, Toriel did actually seem to care about how Susie was doing.

Eh, she probably just didn’t want her kid hanging out with a bully. That had to be it.

After baking the pie, it had to cool. Susie expected that while they waited, she and Kris would go back to their room, but instead she pulled out a photo album.

“Whoa, that’s Kris’s brother?” Susie said as she looked at a kid she could’ve sworn was Ralsei.

“Yes, that’s Asriel. Of course, he’s much older now.”

There were lots of baby pictures of Asriel, but the youngest pictures of Kris were from when they were in kindergarten. Toriel explained that was when they’d been adopted.

Along with the two of them were some other familiar faces. A few pictures of Asgore, but only in group shots; Toriel didn’t have any pictures of him by himself. Then there were a few of their classmates, including…

“Is that Noelle?”

“Yes. She’s been friends with Kris for a long time. I had some older pictures of her, but those are tucked away.”

The Noelle in the picture was just growing out her hair, which was funny since Susie had always imagined her with long hair. “Wow, she looks so different.”

Toriel glanced at Susie but didn’t say anything about Noelle. “Did you know Kris tried cutting their own hair once? I have a photo of that in here somewhere.”

Kris took that moment to excuse themself from the group.

It was kinda nice looking at old pictures. They seemed like such a happy family. Oh sure, Susie knew Toriel and Asgore got divorced, even if she didn’t know why. Obviously things hadn’t been perfect for them. But… they felt like a real family.

They soon put away the pictures though, turning their attention back to the pie. Toriel cut them each a hefty slice of it, and they all ate in the dining room together. It was so good, Susie could hardly believe it. Toriel let her have a second, smaller slice, but she cut her off after that.

“You’ll ruin your appetite for dinner.” Toriel smiled. “Would you like to join us for dinner as well?”

“Sure!” Susie answered quickly, then thought better of that. “I mean, Kris probably doesn’t want to see me go, so…”

“Yes, of course,” Toriel said with a laugh. She set about making dinner for them while Kris and Susie went back upstairs.

Susie flopped onto Kris’s bed. “That pie was so good, dude. I can’t believe you get to eat that all the time.”

Kris walked over to the other bed and pulled out a box of videogames from underneath it. They set one up and handed a controller to Susie.

“Oh, cool.” Susie hadn’t had the chance to play too many videogames, but it seemed like it would be fun. The one they were playing was an old side scrolling one where they were both army commandos fighting aliens.

It was fun, even if Susie died a lot. Mostly it was just cool to do something with Kris. Since they didn’t like to talk much, sometimes it could be a little hard to find things to do together, so this worked out well.

Just when she was getting frustrated at the stupid game for killing her over and over, Toriel popped in to tell them dinner was ready. They shut off the game, then went downstairs to eat together.

Miraculously, Susie found she was feeling a little less uneasy around Toriel. There was something nice about her. Something warm. She made it easy to feel relaxed, even if she was her friend’s mom.

“What was this called again?” Susie asked as she had another bite.

“Goulash,” Toriel answered. “Do you like it?”

“It’s amazing!”

“I’m so glad to hear you think so. After you’ve had your fill, I’ll go ahead and bring you home.”

Susie’s eyes went wide for a second, then she caught herself. She didn’t want to give anything away. “Oh, you don’t have to worry, I don’t mind the walk.”

“Susie, it’ll be dark out soon. I insist.”

Susie took another bite of goulash and tried to figure out a way around it. She couldn’t very well invite herself to stay the night again. And even if her mom had a car, she would never dare ask her for a ride home.

With no other options, she reluctantly accepted. So after dinner passed far too quickly, she retrieved her backpack from Kris’s room then walked out to the car. Kris came along for the ride, so at least she wasn’t alone with Toriel.

“Now then,” Toriel said when they were all inside. “Where are we headed?”

Susie gave directions as they drove, feeling a pit in her stomach the whole time. While dinner had passed in an instant, the drive to Susie’s house took forever.

But somehow it was still too soon when they pulled up to Susie’s rundown house, with its bad paint job, boarded up window, and sunken in roof. She wanted to apologize just for bringing them there, but of course, she didn’t. She simply thanked Toriel for the ride, said goodbye to Kris, then left the car.

As Susie got out of the car, she expected Toriel to drive away. She didn’t, however, apparently waiting to see that Susie was getting inside okay. Susie kept her head down as she walked to the front door, then tried to turn the knob only to find it was locked.

Great. Although she knew that meant her mom wasn’t home yet, Susie still knocked on the door loudly just in case. When no one answered, she quickly looked back to the car, but couldn’t see in through the windows in the dark.

Cursing her luck as she did it, Susie walked over to a window and pried it open. She gracelessly crawled inside, falling onto the floor as she did. She sighed as she picked herself up, hoping that Toriel at least didn’t think she was breaking into someone else’s house. Not that she liked the idea of Toriel knowing she had to crawl into her own house by the window since there was only one key.

After a quick check to make sure the house was empty – which it was – Susie opened the front door to wave to the others and show she was okay. Toriel’s window rolled down and she gestured for Susie to come closer.

Hating her life, Susie obliged. She forced an awkward smile as she approached the car. “Guess Noelle isn’t the only one who forgets her key sometimes.”

“Does your mom work late?” Toriel asked.

The idea of her mom working was almost as ridiculous as the idea of her baking, but Susie just nodded. “Yeah, she does. I’ll be fine though.”

“I see. Well, here, just in case.” Toriel fished a pen and notepad out from her purse and wrote down a phone number. “You might already have it, but this is our home number. Of course, Kris has their cell phone as well. If you need anything at all, just give one of us a call.”

Susie took the paper. She didn’t have the number, nor did she have Kris’s cell number. No point when she didn’t have a phone. She didn’t say that, however. “Thanks, but don’t worry about me.”

“Alright then. Good night, Susie.”

“Good night,” Susie said, then waved them off.

Susie returned into the house and closed the door as Toriel pulled away. She pocketed the paper with the phone number, then walked into the kitchen. There was a little bit of soda, so she poured it into a glass that was probably clean enough, then walked into the living room.

She was going to turn on the TV, but she thought of something else instead. She pulled out a pad of lined paper and a pencil, then she started sketching. She wondered if Toriel would like a drawing of something, then wondered if that was a dumb way to say thank you.

In the end, she drew what she usually did – herself and her friends in their Dark World outfits, including the one she’d designed for Noelle. She thought Noelle would really like it there. A world where you could be a hero, and all you had to do was be nice to people most of the time? Yeah, she’d love that.

It had been a good day. The ending sucked eggs, but most of the day was pretty good. Even with her realization, even with the awkwardness. She’d actually enjoyed class for once, she got to hang out with her friends, eat some great food, play some cheating videogames…

And now? Now she was home alone, with no one to yell at her, or complain that she didn’t do enough around the house, or blast the volume on infomercials in the middle of the night. Just Susie and her drawing after a great day.

After she finished the first drawing, she moved onto another one. She decided to draw something for Toriel after all, but she didn’t know what she liked. She’d have to ask Kris, and in the meantime, she decided to try sketching a picture of her from memory. It wasn’t too hard; she looked a lot like Ralsei, really.

She was enjoying herself so much that she hardly noticed when hours passed. It was going to be another late night for her mom, it seemed. That was fine. If she crawled home piss drunk after Susie had already gone to bed, then she’d be knocked out by the time Susie got up for school in the morning. Really, it was perfect.

At least until it wasn’t. There was a knock on the door, which was strange. Nina had the only key to the house, so there was no reason for her to knock on the door. Unless she’d lost it. That’d be just like her…

“It’s open,” Susie called. The door opened, and she didn’t bother to look.

At least, not until she heard a voice that wasn’t Nina’s say, “It’s Susie, right?”

Susie wheeled around to see the police officer from before standing in the doorway, looking over the house. “Officer Undyne?”

Undyne nodded. “Mind if I come in?”

“Uh, I guess not?” Susie said, then wondered if that was a good idea. They didn’t have anything illegal in the house, but that didn’t mean she wanted a cop looking through it.

Undyne didn’t seem interested in the house though. Instead, she only had eyes for Susie. “You live here with your mom, right? No one else?”

“Uh, no, just the two of us.” Susie thought back to what Undyne had said once about having to break bad news to people. “Did something happen to her?”

“She’s not hurt or anything, so don’t worry about that. But… she is in jail.”

“Oh.” Susie knew it probably wasn’t really the right thing to say, but ‘oh’ was the only thing she could manage to say at all.

“Yeah, she was drunk and disorderly in public. Tried to calm her down, she got more irate. So we had to put her in a cell for the night, see how she does when she sobers up tomorrow.”

It was hard to say what Susie was supposed to feel when hearing that, but she surprised herself by not feeling much at all. It almost sounded like this was something happening to a stranger. Susie wasn’t convinced that wasn’t the case.

“Okay,” Susie said after a few moments. “So… now what?”

“Now, I have to figure out what to do with you. Look, I may be out of line, but I get the feeling you’d be fine here on your own. But you know, you’re a minor, and I can’t leave you here.”

Susie frowned. She wouldn’t even care, really. Let her mom sober up in a jail cell, give Susie a peaceful night, maybe even teach her a lesson. Okay, that last one was never happening, but still.

“I… I mean, I’ll just be asleep, you know?”

Undyne nodded. “Yeah, but the law is the law. I don’t make the rules, kid, I just enforce them.” The officer took another look around, taking in the squalor. “So, you know, do you have somewhere to go?”

Somewhere to go? It wasn’t like Susie had any other family. Who would want someone like her around? Especially if she was going to be an unexpected guest in the middle of the night…

But then Susie looked down at her drawing. It wasn’t finished, but Toriel was smiling happily. And she felt… something. She wasn’t sure what, and she hated the idea of what was about to happen. But her hand moved to her pocket, which had a scrap of paper with a phone number on it.

“Yeah,” Susie said slowly. “I think I do.”

Chapter Text

Chapter Thirteen

Good Enough

Noelle

When had life become so complicated? That wasn’t a fair question, but Noelle asked it anyway. There was no one to ask but herself, but that was okay; she didn’t think anyone else could give her a better answer.

So… when had life become so complicated? Well, when she was little, and she was trying to figure out who she was and how to be Noelle, that was complicated. Then as she got older, and her dad’s health took a turn for the worse, that was complicated. And then living alone with her mom, that was complicated. And figuring out how she felt about Susie, and lately how Susie felt about her, and even about her friendship with Kris. There were so many complicated things in Noelle’s life, and there always had been.

So life had always been complicated. It just got harder. Now Noelle had to get around on one leg, and work extra hard on her schoolwork to appease her mom. She couldn’t go hang out with her friends as much as she wanted to. No, she had to sit alone in her room, studying until her head spun with formulae, dates, and essay formats.

Noelle stretched, too tired to keep studying. She wanted to get up and walk around, but that would prove difficult with her cast. Instead, she turned her attention elsewhere on her desk.

There was a picture in a frame. It was a drawing on lined paper, showing her dad. In the picture, he was healthy and happy, just like he was when Noelle was little. She picked up the frame and looked at the picture more closely. With a sigh, she put it back.

Wonder if I’ll ever finish Dragon Blazers III.

The thought came unbidden, and it should have been pretty innocuous. It wasn’t that Noelle cared especially about the game itself, even if she liked it. But it was something she played with her dad, and the only reason she would have to not finish it would be if…

No, no don’t think of that. Noelle stood up after all, even if it was difficult. She shuffled over to her bed, not bothering with the crutch for the short distance. Once she reached the bed, she collapsed on top of it.

Not that being in bed was much better than being at her desk, but she needed a break. If only she could go for a run, just to clear her head. She hated being shackled with this stupid cast, but there wasn’t much she could do about it. Besides, it was her own fault anyway.

There was at least something she could do while being stuck in bed. She picked up her phone from the bedside table and opened her contacts. The name she was looking for was right at the top in her favorites, so she dialed the number.

Each ring caused her heart to sink a little. Usually her dad answered right away, always eager to talk. Today, however, it kept ringing until it went to voicemail. “Rudy here. I’ll let you figure out what to do at the beep!”

The phone beeped, so Noelle left a message. “Hi, Dad. Just calling to check up on you. Hope you’re feeling alright. Uhm, give me a call back if you want to talk, okay? I love you. Bye.”

Noelle hung up the phone with a sigh. She wasn’t sure what she’d wanted to say to her dad. Nothing really, she supposed, just hearing his voice would make her feel better.

Maybe it was for the best. It was about time for her mom to be home, and she’d be happy if she found Noelle studying when she arrived.

Still, she was slow to move. She was worried about her dad. He always answered when she called. It wasn’t like he could do a whole lot else. Sure, he could just be in the bathroom or something, but as the minutes ticked on that became unlikely.

Eventually, Noelle forced herself up. She shuffled back to her desk and picked up her notebook. She was studying geometry, so she reluctantly returned to the world of numbers and theorems. 

She got to puzzle her way through a few more questions in peace, then she heard the front door. Good thing I went back to studying when I did.

She heard her mom walking up the stairs, so she pretended she wasn’t listening intently and kept working on the math. A moment later, her mom knocked on her open door and popped her head in. “Hey, how’re you doing?”

“I’m good,” Noelle said with a smile. “Just studying.”

Carol nodded. “Is it going well?”

“Yeah, I think I’ve got the hang of all my subjects now.”

“Good. I brought you some food so that you don’t have to go downstairs.”

Noelle smiled. It was thoughtful of her mom to do that, especially since she wasn’t normally allowed to eat in her room. “Thank you.”

Carol walked in and handed her daughter a bag of carryout food. She opened it to find it had a bowl of soup with a hot-pressed sub sandwich. She took out the soup first, carefully pulling off the lid and letting the smell of the vegetables fill the room.

Since there wasn’t another seat in the room, Carol sat on the bed with her own meal. They did usually eat together, and it seemed this would be no exception.

“So how was work?” Noelle asked.

Carol sighed and shook her head. “Frustrating. Some woman came into city hall reeking of booze. She was causing a fit because of an eviction notice.”

“Shouldn’t that be the landlord’s problem?” Noelle asked as she took a bite of her sub.

“She’s on welfare, so the city was paying for her house. Or most of it. She still had to pay some rent, and she hadn’t, so eviction. It was her own fault. Disgusting, really. Can’t pay her rent but can afford to get plastered and make that my problem.”

“That sounds really annoying. What’d you do?”

“Had to call the police.” Carol took a bite of her own sandwich, chewed and swallowed, then continued. “She resisted arrest too, so she has that going for her. But now it’s Undyne’s problem, not mine.”

“Glad you don’t have to deal with stuff like that all the time.”

“Yeah, Hometown is pretty quiet for the most part. It’s really just a few problem people around, like this lady and that bum Asgore.”

Noelle didn’t like when her mom talked about Kris’s dad, so she changed the subject. “So uhm, at least tomorrow will be easier, right?”

“Can’t be worse than today.”

It was almost nice. Sure, the conversation wasn’t about pleasant topics, and Carol would never be as fun to talk to as her husband. But the two of them just existing together without arguing for once… It was enough.

“So school is going well then?”

“Yup! I’m back to getting straight A’s on everything.”

“That’s good to hear. You know, now that you’re not doing the running thing, you should have plenty of time to focus on academics.”

Noelle nodded. “I know, and I am. School is going just fine.”

“Good. I’m glad to hear that.”

Noelle wanted to ask her mom if she’d done enough to earn back her meds, but she held her tongue. Her mom would let her know. She knew how important they were, and she knew that Noelle’s stock was running out, so she would step in before it was too late. Her mom didn’t understand, but she did care about her daughter.

They talked a little more in that same vein as they ate. Despite her bad day, Carol seemed to be in a good mood. Or at least, as good as she ever was. Noelle enjoyed talking with her.

It only lasted through dinner, however. “I think I’m going to go take a shower,” Carol said as she rose from the bed. “Do you need anything?”

“No thank you.”

“Alright, I’ll come check on you before bed.”

“Okay, enjoy your shower.”

Carol collected the trash from both of their dinners and left the room. Noelle felt a little better. Things were hard, but she would get by. She always did.

And best of all, the sound of her favorite Christmas carol suddenly filled the room. Noelle got to her hooves and awkwardly made her way to her bed, knowing before she got there that it was her dad calling. Only he got that ringtone.

Noelle answered as quickly as she could. “Hi, Dad.”

“Hey, sweetie,” Rudy said. He sounded a little tired, but not too bad today. “How’s my little angel doing?”

“I’m good. Just finished dinner.”

“Aww, and you didn’t bring any for me? Do you know how bad this hospital food is?”

Noelle laughed a little, though she did feel bad for her dad having to eat that every day. “We’ll bring you something good when we visit this weekend.”

“You better, I’m withering away here. How do they expect a guy to get better when this is what they feed you?”

“Sorry, Dad. So, uhm, what’s going on with you? Aside from the food, I mean.”

“Eh, just some more tests. You know how it goes. That was why I didn’t answer, had to do some blood work to see how I’m doing.”

“Oh, okay. So… how are you doing?”

“Heck if I know, they take their sweet time letting me know anything.” Rudy laughed, then seemed to think better of it. “But, you know, last time they said I was doing alright. I’m sure this time will be just the same.”

Noelle appreciated the reminder. Of course, she knew that his blood work had come back with good results last time, but a reminder didn’t hurt. “Yeah, of course. Can’t keep a Holiday down, right?”

“That’s right! But enough about me, you know ain’t nothing happening in here. What’s my baby girl up to?”

“Just studying now. Oh, but uhm, today we did a practical lesson in science. We separated the DNA from strawberries.”

“Sounds tasty!”

“You can’t eat it, Dad,” Noelle said with a laugh. “Although Susie tried…”

“You and Susie been spending a lot of time together, huh?”

At least Rudy couldn’t see how Noelle was blushing. “I, uhm, I guess so. We were chemistry partners today.”

“Chemistry, eh? You don’t say. She treating you alright?”

“Yes, she’s fine, Dad…”

“Hey, I just worry. My little girl’s first girlfriend, you know.”

“She’s not my girlfriend!”

“Not yet she’s not.”

Noelle’s blush only grew. “Dad! Like I could ever ask her out…”

“Why not? All you need to do is follow my advice and you’ll do just fine!”

“Uhm, your advice is… probably not the best way to ask her…”

Rudy laughed, ending in a coughing fit. Noelle felt bad, as she always did, but she waited for him to catch his breath and continue. “Look, it doesn’t matter how you ask her. Sweet girl like you? She’ll say yes no matter what.”

“I don’t know about that. I… I tried asking her if, uhm, if she likes girls, but…”

“Uh oh, she say no?”

“Well, not exactly. She didn’t really answer me.”

“Ah, playing hard to get, huh?”

“I don’t think that’s it.” Noelle couldn’t stop smiling. Sure, the conversation was embarrassing, and part of her wished they were talking about anything else, but still, it was nice to talk so openly about Susie with someone she cared about so much.

“Trust me, I know all about how girls work. I’ve struck out with enough of them before your mother came along! I’ve learned a thing or three!”

“Dad, I don’t want to strike out!”

“Oh, so you do want to ask her then?”

Noelle giggled. “Well, I guess kind of… But you know, that’s hard. Plus, uhm, I doubt Mom would be happy about it.”

“Aww, she just wants you to be happy.”

Noelle wasn’t sure about that. It didn’t seem like her daughter’s happiness was one of Carol’s main concerns. “I don’t know…”

“Hmm…” Rudy sounded more serious as he continued. “You two haven’t been fighting again, have you?”

Noelle frowned. She thought back to the conversation on the way home from the hospital, that night when her world crumbled. Then she pushed it away. Her dad needed to rest. He didn’t need to worry about Noelle’s problems right now.

“Actually, we just had a really nice dinner together. She told me about her day at work, and I told her about school. We didn’t fight or anything, it was nice.”

“Oh yeah? Always glad to hear that.” Rudy was quiet for a moment, then continued in a somber voice. “I know she’s hard on you, but she does love you so much. I’m sorry I’m not there to keep the peace, but –”

“Dad, no.” Noelle frowned. “I’m fine, everything here is good. Don’t worry about that, just focus on getting better.”

“Heh, don’t think I’ve forgotten about that. Trust me, I’m ready to bust out of here as soon as I get the chance. Then the first thing I’m doing is running all the way home.”

“Uhm, I think Mom and I will just pick you up…”

“Nah, been too long since I had a good run. I’ll hoof it.”

“I know what you mean. I wanted to go for a run earlier, just a little study break.” Noelle frowned down at her leg. “This dumb cast…”

“Yeah, guess we’re two peas in a pod, huh? How’s your leg doing?”

“It’s good. It gets really itchy, but it doesn’t hurt anymore. Uhm, except for when it falls asleep on me.”

“Heh, yeah, well I’m glad it’s not too bad. You’ll be back out on the field in no time.”

“I hope so.”

“Then you can impress Susie with something other than your brain!”

“Dad!” Both Noelle and Rudy laughed at that.

Little by little, Noelle’s worries about the day melted away. So things were still complicated. So Noelle didn’t get to spend the afternoon with her friends. So things with her mom were as difficult as ever.

Still, she’d had a good day. She’d spent the school day with Susie and Kris, had a fun science experiment, and now she was talking to the one person who was always there for her. Things weren’t perfect, but at least for the moment, they were good enough.

Chapter Text

Chapter Fourteen

To Be Wanted

Susie

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t like it was Susie’s fault at all. Other kids were dumb, and besides, it was her toy. Why should she have to share if she didn’t want to?

She felt someone squeeze her shoulder and looked up to see her dad. “Penny for your thoughts, Susiebean?”

Susie turned to look down at the ground again. “School is dumb…”

Against all odds, Adrian laughed. “Hey, you’re not supposed to think that yet. You’re only in kindergarten. Give me a few years before you hate school, please.”

Susie put her hands in her pockets and ignored her dad. It didn’t work very well, because the next thing she knew he had scooped her up, cradling her in his arms. “Listen, you might not like it, but you have to be nice with the other kids.”

“I didn’t want to play with that stupid boy.”

“Oh? Is that why you hit him?”

Susie said nothing.

“I hope you don’t hit every kid you don’t want to play with. It could be a pretty long list, knowing my Susiebean.”

“He wanted to play with my robot…”

“Ah, I see. Did you tell him you didn’t want him playing with it?”

“Yes,” Susie lied.

“Really?” Adrian said in the tone that let Susie know she wasn’t fooling him. She never could.

“I don’t know…”

Adrian sighed. “Look, Susie… It’s okay to be upset, and to not want to play, and even to not always want to share your toys. But you have to tell people how you feel, you know? You can’t just jump straight to punching other kids.”

Susie didn’t say anything, and for a little while, neither did Adrian. The two of them were walking home from school. Or rather, Adrian was walking – he was still carrying Susie.

“What am I gonna tell your mother?” Adrian said after a while.

Susie didn’t answer. She didn’t want her mom to find out. She was working late, so Susie wouldn’t have to talk to her for a little while, but something was bound to come up at some point.

“Susie, can you promise me to be better about this? To talk to people instead of hurting them, and to talk to me if that gets too tough?”

Susie looked up at her dad. They didn’t look a lot alike, but they had the same eyes. And right now, those eyes were fixed on Susie. He expected a lot from her; unlike her mom, her dad didn’t just write off everything she did with ‘she’s just a kid’. But that made Susie not want to let him down.

“Okay,” she said. “I’ll talk about stuff.”

“Good. Then maybe just this once, we’ll keep this our little secret, hmm?”

“Really?” Susie’s eyes went wide as she watched her dad’s mouth curve into a crooked grin.

“Just one time! I’m trusting you, okay?”

Susie nodded. “Okay.” She looked around, then smiled back at him. “Can I ride on your back?”

Adrian laughed. “Sure, Susiebean.” He lifted her up and she climbed onto his back, draping her legs around his shoulders and placing her hands on the top of his head. She liked being so high up.

He held onto her ankles to make sure she didn’t fall, and Susie thought about what he’d said. He was counting on her. She had to be better with other kids, because her dad was counting on her.

There was so much blood. That’s what Susie thought as she watched them rush her dad into the hospital. There was just so much blood. Too much. Susie wasn’t dumb. She was eleven years old, old enough to know what happened when someone lost that much blood. There was no way he would… No chance he’d…

Nina was crying. Susie wasn’t sure what to do about that. She’d never seen her mom cry, and now she was openly sobbing right in the middle of the hospital. She had to know too. There was just too much blood for any other option.

So… why wasn’t Susie crying? She wasn’t in denial. She knew what was happening. She knew. There was no way her dad was going to survive the night. She should be crying.

Instead, she just wished she could make her mom stop. She wished she could go home. He was dying, if he wasn’t dead already. Why did she have to be here to see him like this? Why couldn’t they have told Susie and Nina after everything was done?

She just wanted to be alone in her room…

“Hey, Mom?” Susie said softly. She wasn’t sure where the words came from, but she forced them out. “We’ll be… you know, we’ll get by, right?”

Nina just cried harder.

Susie looked down at the floor while they waited for the news that they both knew was coming. Adrian was tough. The toughest person Susie knew. A drunken bar brawl shouldn’t have done more than leave him sore the next day, but at some point in the fight, he’d fallen and hit his head on something. And then there was just so much blood…

A nurse came out to speak with them, and Susie could read it in her face. She knew the words, but she didn’t want to hear them. The nurse said them anyway. And just like that, everything was going to be different. And all Susie could think was that she should be crying.

A new school was a new chance to start things over. To stop picking fights, to stop skipping class, to make her dad proud. Susie knew all this, and she was still debating if she cared.

It was the first day of high school, and she was attending a school clear across town. The idea was that she wouldn’t know anyone there, which her middle school guidance counselor had said would help her make a new start. She’d just gone along with it, easier than arguing.

She looked up at the building, then bowed her head as she walked in. She wanted to avoid making eye contact in the halls. She wasn’t looking for friends. The only thing she was looking for was maybe staying out of trouble.

And maybe she would, if she’d gotten off to a good start for the day. Her mom had been out late drinking again, which had become something of a habit of hers, and she’d come home drunk and kept Susie up half the night. She was tired, and in no mood for anyone else’s crap.

She still found it, however. Since she wasn’t paying much attention to where she was walking, she stepped into another teenager. A blue bird, who grunted, then wheeled around to glare at her. “Hey, watch it!”

Susie frowned and counted down in her head. That’s what she was supposed to do when she got angry, count down from ten. It was supposed to keep her from doing anything she’d regret.

“What, can’t even apologize?” the bird boy said. “I’m not surprised, you don’t look very smart. Can you even speak?”

Susie gritted her teeth. “Watch your mouth, bird brain.”

“Ha! It talks! Geez, just look at you though. You sure you’re supposed to be here and not the zoo?”

Screw it. The next thing Susie knew, bird boy was pinned face first against a locker with one arm twisted behind his back. “You wanna say that again, punk!?”

“Aah! Let go! I’m sorry, I –”

“Hey!” another voice called out. It belonged to a large bull, who quickly walked over to them. “Let go of him!”

Susie glared, then shoved bird boy down to the ground. He scrambled away from Susie while the bull just walked closer.

“That’s it,” he said, “you’re coming with me. What’s your name?”

Susie glared at him for a moment, then broke into a run. She was just going to leave school and start another day. This wasn’t worth it.

Unfortunately, the bull had other ideas. “Hey, get back here!” he called as he chased after her.

She didn’t get far before he grabbed her by the shoulder, causing her to slip and hit the floor. Everything went briefly fuzzy, and she could swear she could hear a voice.

I’m trusting you, okay, Susiebean?

But when things cleared, all she could see was one pissed off bull looming over her. She closed her eyes and sighed. Trusted her? Of all the stupid things to do...

Susie lay in her bed staring up at her ceiling. Her mom had said she was grounded for the fight at school, but she didn’t care. Nina was never home, how would she ever know if Susie wasn’t staying in her room?

No, she wasn’t staying in her room because she was grounded. She was in there because where the hell else was she going to go? She didn’t have friends, she didn’t have money, everyone in the neighborhood hated her. Her mom barely treated her like an inconvenience these days, and the one person who had ever reached her…

He’d died in a bar brawl. Of all things, he’d died in a fight . Did he try to use his words to get out of that one? Would he be proud of the example he’d set for his young daughter?

It didn’t matter. He’d died, and her mom turned to drinking, and everyone just treated Susie like the nuisance she was.

He’d died, and he’d left her all alone.

Why was Susie thinking of that? Sure, she couldn’t sleep. She was in the spare bed in Kris’s room, the one that used to be their brother’s, and she had barely slept all night.

Still, of all the things she could think of, why her dad? Why now? He’d left her alone, just like her mom, just like everyone in her life before Kris showed up.

Maybe that was why she was thinking of him. To remind herself that people left. Would Kris get sick of her crap too? Maybe. Somehow, she really believed Kris was different. Maybe the only one who was different. Maybe it was what they’d been through in the Dark World, maybe it was something else, but somehow things were different with them.

Susie sighed. She didn’t need a reason to think about dumb things. It was just a weird night, of course she was having weird thoughts.

Her sigh seemed to alert Kris that she was awake, though. The next thing she knew, she had a pillow in her face. She pulled it away and looked at Kris to see them pretending to sleep. She laughed and jumped out of bed. “You wanna start something, dude?”

She tried to hit them with the pillow, only for them to roll away at the last second. Kris was always good at dodging. She abandoned the pillow and lunged to grab them, holding them down on their own bed.

“Yeah, not so tough now, are you?” Susie asked as she sat on them to hold them in place. They tried to squirm away, but it didn’t work out well for them. “Ha! Good luck rolling me off! You’re stuck there!”

Then the door opened, and Susie jumped to her feet. Toriel smiled at them, either unaware or unconcerned with the rough housing. “Good morning, you two. I hope you slept well?”

“Uh, yeah,” Susie said awkwardly. Kris just threw their other pillow at her.

Toriel laughed. “Okay, enough playing, come down for breakfast. I made waffles.”

Susie blinked. “Waffles?”

“I hope you like them,” Toriel said. “If you don’t, we have some other food you might prefer.”

Susie shook her head slightly. “No, waffles sound good. Er, perfect! I can’t wait!”

Toriel laughed again. “Then come on down. And Susie? Try to go easy on Kris.”

Susie was left staring as Toriel walked out of the room. She’d never met another adult quite like Toriel. She really cared about Kris so much, it was great. She even extended that same care to her child’s friend when she really didn’t have to. No one had ever made Susie breakfast before school before…

Susie and Kris walked downstairs and into the kitchen, where Toriel served them the waffles she’d mentioned. There was butter and maple syrup, and everything was so good that Susie almost thought she was dreaming it.

“Susie,” Toriel said after a while. “I know this is an awkward conversation, but… I want you to know you can stay here as long as you need to. I won’t pry into what was going on at home, but… Well, you’re wanted here.”

Susie looked at Kris, who wasn’t paying them much attention in the face of their breakfast. “Yeah, I guess Kris would be pretty lonely without me.”

Kris punched Susie on the shoulder.

Toriel just smiled. “Not just Kris, you know. I’m happy to have you here as well.”

Susie looked down, not sure what to say to that.

“Let’s just eat breakfast for now. We all have to get to school soon.”

 That was an idea Susie could get behind, so she took another big bite of waffle. They ate quietly, then Toriel sent them back upstairs to get dressed for school.

Susie collected her clothes and went back downstairs to use the bathroom to change, leaving Kris to their room. She examined her reflection while she was there.

Mostly, she looked into her eyes. Her father’s eyes. He had left her. He’d left her, and she’d learned to never rely on anyone being there. Sure, she knew he didn’t mean to, but he’d died because of a fight after he’d made such a big deal about Susie not fighting with her classmates. He’d known better, he’d done it anyway, and now he was gone.

She sighed and pulled on her clothes, putting on her father’s jacket last. She examined her reflection again, then walked out of the room.

“Susie, brush your hair,” Toriel chided once she was out of the bathroom. “Here, let me get you a hairbrush.”

Although she couldn’t really care less, Susie obliged and brushed her hair. While she did, Kris showed up, then the three of them left the house and filed into Toriel’s car.

“So are you kids looking forward to school?” Toriel asked as she started driving, getting a groan from both of them.

Though in truth, Susie didn’t hate school anymore. It wasn’t her favorite thing, but she understood it now. She’d become a steady C student, which still amazed her. She’d even gotten a couple B’s here and there.

Which was, of course, because of Noelle. That was the other thing school had going for it. Noelle would be there.

Susie frowned, thinking of the revelation of the day before. What was she supposed to say when she saw Noelle? ‘Hey, wanna go out sometime? I can’t bring you back to my house because I don’t even know when I can go back there, plus I’m dirt poor and my mom’s a useless drunk, so I can’t really take you out anywhere else either.’

Yeah, she didn’t have a lot going for her… Better to just keep quiet about everything.

“Here we are,” Toriel announced, as if there could be any question that they’d arrived. She parked the car, and all three of them got out and walked into the school together.

Susie just kept her eyes on the ground as they walked in, not really wanting to talk to anyone. Not that anyone ever talked to her, but still.

They paused when they reached the fork where Toriel would go to her classroom. “I’ll see you kids after school,” she said as she gave Kris a hug. “You be good now.”

Susie just waited for them to finish, but to her astonishment, Toriel stepped up to her next. Without having any time to process what was going on, Susie was pulled into a hug. “You too, Susie. I’ll see you after class, and then we can go back to our house and figure out what comes next.”

“Uh, sure,” Susie said, wide-eyed and unsure of what she should be doing. Toriel let her go and walked off to her class, and Susie turned to glare at Kris. “Not. A. Word.”

Kris just snickered and led them to their classroom. By the time they got there, everyone else was already in their seats. That meant Berdly too, sitting next to Noelle as he usually did.

He and Susie glared at each other, and she debated seeing if she could get Ms. Alphys to move him. She decided to not bother; she wasn’t really sure what to say to Noelle still, so sitting with Kris would be easier. She’d still take care of her through the day, of course, but she didn’t really need to sit next to her to do that.

For her own part, Noelle smiled warmly at Susie, who smiled back. She was going to say something, but then Ms. Alphys cleared her throat.

“Er, glad we’re all here now. Susie, Kris, if you’d both take a seat then we’ll get started.”

Susie returned to her usual seat behind Kris, and looked down at the table. Somehow, everything was changing, and Susie just hoped she could keep up.

School passed by in a blur. In the moment, Susie was fine. But afterwards, she found everything had merged into one incomprehensible mess in her mind. She found herself hoping that they hadn’t learned anything important, then found herself amazed she cared about whether she’d learned anything.

Once again, Susie was carrying Noelle’s backpack and the three friends were heading out of the school to meet with Toriel and head home.

“Finally Friday,” Susie said. “Any plans for the weekend?”

“Well, I’ll go see my dad tomorrow,” Noelle said. “Then I’ll probably be stuck in my room all weekend. Can’t really get around very well.”

“Oh yeah…” Susie felt bad for asking.

“What about you? Are you doing anything?”

Susie shrugged. She didn’t want to let on that she might be spending at least part of the weekend with Kris. “Eh, probably just hanging out, you know? Catch up on some sleep, nothing really.”

“Hello, children,” Toriel said, saving Susie from having to continue to make excuses. “Are we ready to get going?”

“Yes, Ms. Dreemurr,” Noelle said. As she had done the day before, Susie helped her get into the back seat while Kris got into the front. Once Noelle was in and Susie passed her the crutch, Susie walked around and got into the back on the other side.

“And how was school today?” Toriel asked.

“It was good!” Noelle answered. “We read a play.”

Susie grimaced. She had not liked that. While Noelle and Kris fell into their roles effortlessly, Susie had struggled to read the old English dialogue out loud. Berdly had snickered at her for that…

“How nice. It’s always a good way to get into the story, is it not?”

“Definitely,” Noelle said.

“Do you have any homework?”

“A little,” Noelle said.

Toriel kept her eyes on the road, but she nodded. “Kris, Susie, make sure you do that before you get back to any of your roughhousing.”

Noelle turned to address Susie. “Oh, you’re going to Kris’s again today?”

Susie frowned and turned away. “Uh, yeah…”

“Would you like to come?” Toriel asked. “The more the merrier, though you’ll also have to do your homework of course.”

Noelle waved a hand. “Oh, I always do my homework, Ms. Dreemurr. But, uhm, I shouldn’t. My mom is…”

Susie realized she was making the same excuse as she had the day before. She thought back to what little she knew about Noelle’s mom, and as usual found herself wondering what was going on with them.

Toriel seemed to have thoughts of her own. “I could call your mom, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.”

Noelle shook her head. “It’s not that, it’s just… we had plans today.”

Toriel looked at Noelle in the rearview mirror, then turned her eyes back to the road. “I see. Well, don’t be a stranger.”

“Of course not,” Noelle said.

No one seemed to be talkative for the rest of the drive. They reached Noelle’s house and Susie got out to help her out.

Although she still felt awkward around the other girl, Susie scratched her head and said, “Want me to walk you to the door?”

“Oh you don’t have to do that,” Noelle said. “I’d hate to make Ms. Dreemurr and Kris wait.”

“I think it’s a great idea,” Toriel said. “We’ll be just fine here.”

Noelle looked up at Susie and blushed a little. “I, uhm, I guess that’d be nice.”

So Susie slung Noelle’s backpack over her shoulder and the two of them walked up to the gate. Noelle fiddled with the key until she got it to open.

“Guess it’s good to have a big gate on a house like this,” Susie observed as they walked through.

“I, uhm, I guess. I kinda hate it though.”

“Oh. I guess it must get annoying.”

Noelle nodded. “Yeah.”

It wasn’t a long walk, but it still took a minute because of Noelle’s cast. As they walked, Noelle changed the subject. “You’ve been going to Kris’s a lot lately, huh?”

“Oh, uh, just yesterday and today,” Susie said. “Too bad you can’t come.”

“Yeah… It would be fun.”

Susie frowned and thought of her own mom, and what living with her was like. She couldn’t imagine Noelle dealing with anything like that. “Hey, uh, it’s none of my business but…”

“Ah, we’re here,” Noelle said as she reached the door, as if it needed an announcement. “Thanks for walking me.”

Susie blinked, then grinned. “Hey, no worries. I’ll see you on Monday then?”

“Yeah, of course. See you in class.”

Noelle unlocked the door and took her backpack from Susie. She waved, and then went inside, leaving Susie alone with her questions.

Since the questions weren’t good company, Susie turned around and walked back. She wondered about Noelle as she did, hoping her friend was okay.

She decided to be a little more talkative as she got back into the car, but mostly because she had something she wanted to know. “So, uhm, what’s Noelle’s mom like?”

“Carol?” Toriel backed up and angled the car towards her house, then started driving again. “She’s a very professional woman. You know she’s the mayor?”

Susie nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

“She’s good at her job, very efficient. I should know her better than I do, since we used to do dinner parties together all the time. But then Rudy got sick and Asgore and I divorced, and we all just got a little more distant.”

Susie nodded. “I met her once, but it was when Rudy had to go to the city.”

“Not really the best time to make a good impression, I’m sure,” Toriel said with a smile.

Kris pointed out that they were pretty sure Carol never liked them.

“Well, you did used to scare her daughter every chance you could,” Toriel said. “Oh, I know you were just playing, but it probably gave Carol the wrong impression of you.”

Kris shrugged and said they didn’t think that was why, but they didn’t elaborate. Susie figured she could ask them in private later.

Besides, something else caught everyone’s attention. As they pulled up to the Dreemurr household, they saw there was already a car there. A shiny black sedan, and its owner – a crystalline woman in a three piece suit – was outside leaning on the driver’s door.

Toriel pulled past the car and into the driveway, and everyone got out. The woman walked over and introduced herself. “Hello, my name is Ruby. I’m a social worker, and I’m here for Miss Susie.”

Susie frowned, but Toriel spoke for her. “And what business do you have with her?”

“We’ve located a temporary foster home for her to stay in.” She turned to address Susie directly. “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid you won’t be going home unless your mother can pass an investigation. We’ve found… reasons to suspect she may not be able to care for you.”

That was an understatement, but Susie was still dumbstruck by the woman’s sudden appearance, so she said nothing.

“I understand this is probably a lot to take in. May I come in to talk more?”

“Uhm.” Toriel placed a hand on Susie’s shoulder. “No, I don’t think that will be necessary. Susie is perfectly fine exactly where she is.”

Susie blinked and looked up at the older woman. “Toriel?”

“There are processes that must be followed, I’m afraid,” Ruby said. “This is what’s best for Susie.”

Susie bowed her head and wondered what was in store for her. She didn’t want to go, but since she clearly couldn’t go home, she didn’t know what else to do.

Toriel had other ideas. “No, I told you, she’s fine here. She should be with people who care about her, and that’s us. I am a mother of two and a school teacher. I have plenty of experience in looking after children, and Susie is a delight to have. She may stay here as long as she needs to.”

Again, Susie was dumbstruck. Why was Toriel standing up for her? Why did she care? This was a way to wash her hands of having to look after a messed up kid that wasn’t even her own, so what could she possibly be doing this for?

“I see. I have to inform you that this is not the right course of action. You must comply with the law, Mrs. Dreemurr.”

“It’s Ms., thank you,” Toriel said. “And I assure you I will go through all the necessary steps, but Susie is staying with me.”

Ruby looked between Toriel and Susie. “I can not forcibly remove her, but I will be back. This is not how things are done.”

“If caring for a child in need is not the proper way to do things, then you’ll have to excuse me for being improper,” Toriel said. Without letting go of Susie, she put her other hand behind Kris’s back. “Now then, let us go inside and see about getting you kids a snack, shall we?”

As awestricken as she was, all Susie could do was let Toriel lead her inside. Only when the door closed did she figure out what to say. “But… why?”

Toriel turned to smile at her warmly. “Why what?”

“Why would you, you know –” Susie kicked at the floor “– want to keep me around?”

Toriel placed one hand on Susie’s shoulder, then shifted gears to pull Susie into another hug. “Family is about more than where you’re born, Susie. Now, who wants cookies?”

Toriel let go of Susie, then walked into the kitchen. Kris lightly punched Susie on the arm, then jerked their head for her to follow. Blinking, Susie followed along.

Chapter Text

Chapter Fifteen

Becoming Noelle

Noelle

“Nicholas?”

Nicholas turned away from his coloring book to see his dad at the door to his bedroom. “Hi, Daddy.”

Rudy opened the door all the way and stepped in, walking over to the desk where Nicholas was coloring. He smiled at his son and ruffled his hair. “Hey, Nick-knack, what’re you coloring there?”

Nicholas picked up the book to show Rudy the page he was working on. “It’s a cat!”

“I see, he looks really good.”

Nicholas shook his head. “No, she’s a girl cat.”

“Oh, alright then. Well, she’s real pretty.” Rudy looked off to the side, and his smile faltered for a moment. Then he turned back to his son, and it returned. “Got something to talk to you about, and it’s important.”

“Okay.” Nicholas put down the book and gave his dad his full attention.

“You know your friend Kris?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, they decided something, and it’s something pretty big. They realized they don’t feel like a boy or a girl, that they feel like they’re supposed to be something else. It’s called ‘nonbinary’, but what’s important is that you remember to not use gender words with them anymore.”

Nicholas thought about that for a moment. He wasn’t sure he understood… He decided to ask about one word that seemed off. “They?”

Rudy nodded. “That’s right, kiddo. When someone doesn’t feel like a boy or a girl, that’s what you say instead of ‘he’ or ‘she’. So with Kris, you might say ‘I was playing with Kris today, they’re really nice.’”

Nicholas smiled a little. “Or, uhm, they played another trick on me.”

Rudy laughed. “Yeah, I suppose that sounds like them, huh? So, do you have any questions?”

Nicholas looked down at his lap and said, “I didn’t know that you could just… choose that. To, uhm, to not be a boy or a girl.”

“Yeah, some people just don’t feel like they should be the gender they were born as. It’s… well, to tell you the truth, kiddo, I don’t know a lot about it either. This is new to your pop too, you know? I mean, I knew some people in college, but never really knew them that well. So I’m not an expert, but… We need to make Kris know we accept them the way they are.”

Nicholas nodded. “Okay, Daddy. I’ll, uhm, I’ll try to remember.”

“That’s the spirit. Now why don’t you finish your coloring, then you can come down to get some lunch?”

“Okay.” Nicholas turned back to his coloring book as Rudy left the room, but he didn’t start coloring again yet.

Kris wasn’t a boy or a girl, something they had just decided. They were allowed to change their mind and be something else, just like that. People could choose what they wanted to be, and their friends would make sure they knew they were accepted.

It was a lot to take in. Too much for Nicholas, who had always thought it was simple. Boys were boys, and girls were girls. He knew Rudy was right because he was his dad, but it just didn’t make sense.

He decided to focus on his coloring book. He was coloring a cat, and she was a girl, and she was very pretty and loved by everyone.

Everything had become so complicated. Stupid Kris. When they had decided they were non… whatever it was called, then everything changed. For some reason, Nicholas just couldn’t stop thinking about that.

He was out clothes shopping with his mom. His clothes were getting a little too tight, and it was time to get bigger ones. He’d tried on a few pairs of pants, shorts and t-shirts, which fit okay even if he didn’t care one way or the other about them.

“Okay, I think this will be good,” Carol said once they had a stack of clothes. She smiled at her son. “Come on, Nicholas, one more stop for Mommy.”

“Yes, Mommy,” Nicholas walked behind his mom, going through the boys’ clothing section to the other side of the store.

They passed by the girls’ section and went into the women’s clothing. Carol started looking at things, but they were just adult clothes like what she wore for work.

Quickly getting bored, Nicholas started wandering around. “Don’t go too far,” his mom chided.

“I won’t,” he promised, then looked at a rack of women’s pajama tops. Some of them had silly designs on them, which he liked.

From there, he kept wandering. Not far, just looking at some of the other clothes. He reached the end of the section, and he looked across to the girls’ section.

A shirt caught his eye, it had a character from a cartoon he liked. It wasn’t too far, and he could still see his mom… Nicholas walked over to get a better look.

Why did girls get prettier clothes? Boys could want to be pretty too, right? Girls got nicer colors and designs, and they got things like dresses and skirts that made all the girls in his class really cute.

They should make dresses for boys, he thought. It was only fair. He looked at a rack of dresses, and one caught his eye. It was pink with red stripes, almost like a pink candy cane. He looked back at his mom, made sure she wasn’t paying attention, then reached out to touch it.

Some people just don’t feel like the gender they were born as.

Nicholas’s dad’s words resonated like they always did. But why was he thinking of that now? He was just looking at a dress, it wasn’t like he wanted to… wanted to be a…

Nicholas knew he should go back to his mom, but instead, he took down the dress. He swallowed a lump down his throat and held the dress up to his body, wondering what he’d look like in it.

“What are you doing with that?” Carol asked.

Nicholas jumped, then blushed. “Nothing…”

Carol chuckled a little, then took the dress from him. “You don’t have some secret girlfriend at school you’re thinking of getting this for, do you?”

“What? No!”

Carol laughed and put the dress back. “I’m just teasing. All the boys your age think girls are gross anyway, right? Come on, Nick-knack, it’s time to go.”

Nicholas followed his mom, but he frowned. “Uhm, I don’t think girls are gross…”

“No?”

“No. I… I like the girls in my class. They’re nice, and uhm, they’re all pretty, and I, uhm…”

“Oh, I see.” Carol looked down with a grin. “So you have a crush then?”

“N-no!” Nicholas blushed harder and looked down.

Carol rubbed his head. “Wait until your antlers come in before you go looking for a girlfriend, okay?”

All Nicholas could manage to do was nod. He didn’t want a girlfriend. He wanted…

He didn’t know what he wanted. He wanted… he wanted to be cute like the girls in his class. He just wanted something nice like that dress. That didn’t have to mean anything, did it?

But… what if it did? What if he was like Kris? Could it be as simple as just deciding that he was supposed to be a girl? Would… would he be happier that way?

Somehow, he knew better than to ask his mom about that. He decided to wait until he could talk to his dad. Rudy would know what to do. And then somehow, things would be okay.

“Uhm, Dad?”

Rudy looked away from the tomato he was dicing to see Nicholas standing in the doorway to the kitchen. “Hey, Nick-knack. Here to help me with dinner?”

“Uhm, no…” Nicholas’s eyes went wide. “I mean, uhm, I can help!”

Rudy laughed. “Hey, no sweat, I can handle this. You know your old man can make a mean pizza.”

“I know.” Nicholas walked into the kitchen and took a seat at the table. This was the right time. H— mom was at work, so it was just the two of them. That made things simpler, h— dad was just easier to talk to.

“You know,” Rudy said as he resumed work, “your ma and I had our first date at a pizza place.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! It was the only place I could afford to take her!” Rudy laughed loudly, and Nicholas joined in a little.

“I’m sure she was happy anyway.”

“Heh, could never understand why she agreed to a second date. Life’s always full of surprises.”

“I… I guess it is.” Nicholas looked off to the side. –he had another surprise to drop on h— dad tonight, and it was a big one. “Uhm, I… I’ve been thinking…”

“No surprise there! Smart boy like you, you’re thinking all the time. I’m lucky if I get one or two thoughts in a day!”

Nicholas smiled a little, but –he was too nervous to actually laugh. “Well, uhm, this is something important.”

Rudy looked at Nicholas with a crooked smile. “Well you know I’m all ears. You can talk to me about anything.”

Nicholas hoped that was true, since –he was about to test it. “So, uhm, I… I was thinking about Kris…”

“About Kris, eh?” Rudy’s grin grew. “Well, I guess you two are getting to be that age.”

“Dad! Not like that!”

Rudy laughed again. “Alright, alright. So what about Kris?”

“Well, uhm, they’re…” Nicholas took a deep breath. “I… I think I might be like them. Kind of.”

“Like them?” Rudy’s grin shifted. It wasn’t that he looked upset, but he seemed to be cluing in that this wasn’t something to joke about.

“Yeah, uhm… you know, like, uhm…”

“Nonbinary?”

“No.” Nicholas’s chest tightened and –he felt like –he might cry getting the words out. “But… I don’t think… I want to be a boy…”

Rudy set the knife down and walked over to where Nicholas was sitting. He brushed a hand across h— head, bumping against the antlers that were just coming in. “So what do you feel like?”

“A… a…” Nicholas shut h— eyes. “A girl…”

“A girl, huh?” Rudy took hold of Nicholas’s hands. “Guess we’ll have to get you some new clothes then, won’t we?”

Nicholas opened h— eyes. “You aren’t… mad?”

“Mad? Course not. I love you, Nick-knack. And I’m proud to have a daughter like you.”

That was all Nicholas could take. She started crying while her dad held her and spoke comforting words. Nicholas was changing, and she wasn’t sure exactly where she would end up. But her dad was proud of her, and Nicholas found he wasn’t the only one.

“My name’s Noelle Holiday,” Noelle practiced in front of the mirror. “I’m just a normal girl, I live with my mom and dad, and I like to read a lot.”

That’s all she had to say. It was the first day of middle school, and she’d have to introduce herself to her new classmates. Since she’d transferred to the local public school, they would be new to her. That was the idea, have classmates that wouldn’t have preconceived notions of who she was, but still, it was scary.

It had been a big summer for her. Her. That was new. Noelle was no longer a little boy, she was a girl now. She even had pills called puberty blockers that stopped her body from changing like everyone else’s to give her a few more years of experimenting with her gender. Not that she felt like she needed it. She was in one of the dresses her dad bought her, she’d been growing out her hair, she went by a new name now. She liked who she was now, for the first time ever she actually liked who she was.

“Knock knock,” Rudy said from the doorway. “You ready, sweetie?”

“I, uhm, I think so,” Noelle said, hoping that it was true.

“You look good. Very cute, you’re gonna make all the boys swoon.”

Noelle giggled. “I don’t know if I want to do that…”

“No? Then what about the girls?”

“Dad!”

Rudy laughed, and Noelle left the room with him. They walked downstairs, making their way to the front door.

Along the way, they ran into Noelle’s mom. She was in the living room reading a newspaper. “Big day, then.”

“Uhm, yeah,” Noelle said. She looked at the ground, wondering what kind of response she was going to get from her mom this time. She hadn’t said much to Noelle since her announcement, but she’d heard her parents fighting about it that night.

Carol looked away from the paper to study her daughter. Not that she’d ever called her ‘daughter’. Or used her new name, or her pronouns. And today was no exception. “Be good for your new teachers.”

“Of course,” Noelle said.

Rudy laughed and put an arm around Noelle’s shoulders. “As if our girl could ever be anything but a perfect angel.”

Noelle giggled. She was their girl, and she liked that very much. “I just hope the other kids are nice.”

“To a sweetheart like you?” Rudy grinned at her. “Of course they will be.”

“You won’t know until you get there,” Carol said. “Have a good day.”

“You too, Mom,” Noelle said, and then she and her dad left the room.

They walked to the car, and Noelle got into the passenger seat. Rudy got in as well, started the engine, then opened the gate.

Noelle sighed, and Rudy looked at her. “Hey, she’ll come around. This is new to her, you know?”

“I know.”

“Besides, now that she’s the town’s mayor, she’s under a lot of stress. Just give her a little time. Can you do that for me?”

Noelle smiled. She could do anything for her dad. “Alright.”

“That’s my girl. Now then, let’s get you to school.”

As they drove, Rudy turned on the radio and sang along loudly to it. Noelle laughed, then eventually joined in. The two of them passed the drive by singing, and it chased away a lot of Noelle’s insecurities.

Only for the length of the drive, however. Once they were in front of the school building, she gulped.

Rudy noticed her apprehension. “Hey, it’ll be alright. Remember, this is the school Kris goes to. And you can always go to Mrs. Dreemurr if anyone causes you any trouble, okay?”

“Okay.” Noelle steeled herself, then opened the door. “I’ll see you after school. Love you, Dad.”

“Love you too, sweetie.”

Noelle got out and closed the door, then made her way to the school. She kept her eyes on the ground and reminded herself that almost no one here knew her, and that they had no reason to think of her as anything other than a girl.

She checked a school map she had printed out to find her room. No one commented on her dress, no one asked about her hair. To everyone around her, she was just like any other girl.

It made her smile as she took her seat. Little by little, the class filed in, and no one commented on her.

Then Noelle’s eyes went wide as someone unexpected walked in. Catti, one of her neighbors. She’d known Noelle for years, she’d know that she used to be a boy, she could ruin everything!

Catti stared at her for a moment, then took a seat beside her without comment. Noelle bowed her head and tried to avoid looking at the cat girl.

Eventually the room filled up. Kris was the last one in, and they had to take a seat away from Noelle since all the seats close to her were filled. That was a shame; it would have been nice to have had a friend by her side.

But that couldn’t be helped now. All she could do was make a good impression and hope that Catti wouldn’t make things harder.

“Good morning, class,” her teacher said. “Is everyone ready to start a new school year?”

Everyone groaned, and the teacher laughed. He introduced himself, then asked the class to go around the room and say a little something about themselves.

One by one, Noelle’s new classmates introduced themselves. After Catti, who had only said her name, the teacher moved onto Noelle. “And you, miss?”

Noelle stood up on legs that could barely hold her. She was shaking, terrified to say what she had rehearsed so much. “I… I’m N-Noelle Holiday, and I’m a girl.” Her eyes went wide as she realized she’d left out a word. “A! A normal girl, I mean, uhm, I’m just… just a normal…”

Noelle sat down and covered her head with her hands, wishing she could just disappear on the spot. She felt someone touch her and looked over to see Catti.

“Hi, Noelle,” she said.

Noelle smiled a little. “Uhm, hi, Catti.”

She looked back to see Kris giving her a thumbs up. Catti turned away without saying anything else, but somehow, Noelle still felt much better.

Noelle rose to the sound of her alarm. It was time to get ready for school.

She got out of bed and left for the bathroom. A shower would get her ready for the day. She had to put her cast in a bag to keep it from getting wet, then she climbed into the shower.

As she had done most days for the past week, she washed without ceremony. No songs, just getting ready for the day. Once she was done, she got out and toweled off.

She noticed her reflection in the mirror and winced. She could swear she looked different. As they often did, her eyes wandered to her antlers. Were they getting bigger? She reminded herself as always that female reindeer did grow antlers, but she wondered if they were too much on the masculine side…

There was nothing she could do about that right now though, so she wrapped herself in a towel and returned to her room. She shut the door and selected a dress for the day.

At least she still had that. She walked back at her bedside table, which had a couple pill bottles on it. Both of them, the T-blockers and the estrogen, were empty. They had been for the past week.

In an act of pure desperation, she opened one and looked in it for any dust or residue from the pills rubbing on the bottle. She swiped her finger around it, but there wasn’t anything in there. She still stuck her finger in her mouth, well aware that even if there was some fraction of her meds left behind, it would never be enough to do anything.

It’s all in my head anyway, she told herself. It was too soon for her body to change, it had only been a week. She… well, actually she didn’t know how long it would take for changes to start happening. Not for the first time, she found tears welling up as she imagined suddenly going back to being a boy. Only worse, because she had never gone through boy puberty before.

A few deep breaths saw the tears stop, but she couldn’t help but feel like she was too masculine already. She dressed, hoping that the feminine clothing would help her feel better, but she just felt like a boy in a dress.

Even if I didn’t have the meds, they’re not what make me a girl, Noelle reminded herself. She was a girl, with or without them. But even so, she’d learned to like herself in a large part because of the changes that the hormones had given her, and she didn’t want to go back.

It was time. She had to talk to her mom. Give up on the idea that Carol was going to do the right thing on her own, she couldn’t afford to wait for that.

So Noelle left the room and slowly made her way down the stairs. They were hard with her cast, but they were getting a little easier day by day as she got used to walking around on it. At least something was getting easier, because nothing else was…

She found her mom in the kitchen, as she knew she would. She was sipping her coffee and reading the paper, impassive as always.

Noelle took a seat and steeled herself. “Uhm, Mom?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m… out of my meds…”

Carol sipped her coffee, not replying immediately. When she did, all she said was, “Just now?”

“No, for about a week.”

Carol shrugged. “Surely one week isn’t a big deal.”

“It…” Noelle tried to figure out how to get through to her mom. “It’s a big deal to me…”

Carol was quiet for a moment, and Noelle almost thought she wasn’t going to reply. When she did, her words shocked Noelle. “Alright. We can get you a refill then.”

“Really?”

“Your grades are up, you’ve been doing good in school. That was the deal.”

Noelle breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

“But there’s a new condition.”

Noelle frowned. She wanted to demand they stick to the deal they already had, but she was in no place to argue that. “Wh-what is it?”

“We need to make sure nothing like this ever happens again. So from now on, I don’t want you spending your time with riffraff anymore.”

Noelle’s heart tightened. She knew who her mom meant, but she had to ask. “Riffraff?”

“Like that purple girl.” Carol set down her newspaper to look at her child that she would never see as her daughter. “She’s the reason your grades dropped in the first place. I don’t want you being friends with her. It’s bad enough that you’re friends with the Dreemurr kid, you don’t need more people like that in your life.”

Noelle rose to her hooves, which almost made her fall as she had momentarily forgotten about the cast. Once she steadied herself, she said, “Susie is a good friend! She’s been looking out for me ever since I got hurt, and she’s doing so much better in school these days, and… and I…”

“I told you when this whole thing started, other people are not your responsibility. And you promised me that it wouldn’t affect your grades, then it did. So no, this isn’t negotiable. Cut ties with her if you want your pills back.”

Noelle just stared in horror. “This… this isn’t fair!”

“These are the rules,” Carol said. “But it’s your choice. If you want to go back to being Nicholas, we can make other arrangements.”

Noelle hated the sound of that name, hated it so much. Just hearing it made her want to disappear, and imaging going back to that…

She didn’t have a choice. Her mom held all the power, she couldn’t do anything. Maybe if her dad was here… but no, she couldn’t involve him. He needed to get better, he couldn’t focus on Noelle’s problems.

No, she had to handle this herself. And there was only one way to do that. She loved Susie, but… but she could never go back to being Nicholas…

“Okay,” she said quietly. “Okay, I’ll do it. I’ll… I’ll tell her today…”

“Good. Then I’ll call the doctor and get another refill ordered today. I’ll pick it up on my way home.”

“Alright,” Noelle said meekly, then forced the words out even though they felt like vomit leaving her throat. “Thank you.”

She didn’t really think about what happened next. After a while, her mom announced they should get going, so she followed her to the car. They drove to the school in silence, and Noelle barely noticed the drive.

It wasn’t even that she was lost in her thoughts. She didn’t really have any thoughts; she was numb to everything going on around her.

That continued even when they arrived at the school. She thanked her mom for the ride and got out of the car, then walked into the school building. As usual, she was early to class.

“Good morning, Noelle!” Ms. Alphys said.

“Morning,” Noelle said somberly.

“Is… something wrong?”

Noelle shook her head slowly. “No, I’m… I’ll be fine.”

“Oh, uh, okay… Well, if you want to talk about anything…”

“I just want time to think,” Noelle said without looking at her teacher. It was nice of her to offer to talk, but there was nothing she could do.

Eventually the class filled up. Susie came in with Kris again. The two of them were always together these days, with Susie going to Kris’s house every single day. Noelle had always declined their offers to go with them, and it seemed that now she never would get the chance.

Susie walked up to Noelle, as she usually did. She would check on her, make sure she didn’t need anything. It was a sweet thing to do. Susie was… she cared so much…

“Uh, hi,” Susie said. “Can we, uhm, talk?”

Noelle looked up at Susie and tried not to cry. “I… I have to talk to you about something too.”

“Oh yeah? You go first.”

Although Noelle didn’t want to go at all, she might as well go first. Whatever Susie was going to say was only going to make things harder when Noelle ripped their friend group apart.

“I… I can’t be your friend anymore.”

Susie blinked, then blinked again. After a moment, she said, “What?”

“Susie, I’m… I’m sorry. You’re… you’re a really great person, and I… Well, being your friend has made me so happy, but… but I just can’t anymore.”

“You… but why?”

Noelle shook her head and searched for a reason. Maybe she should just tell the truth, but she couldn’t bring those words out. Instead, what she found was, “I just… I need to focus on my studies. I don’t have time to… to be your friend…”

“Oh…” Susie looked down at the ground. “I… I get it. I get it, you know? It makes sense. I mean, it was pretty dumb of me. Thinking a girl like me could be friends with a girl like you.”

“Susie, it’s not… This is my fault!”

“Hey, it’s cool. And, you know, maybe we’ll still… I don’t know, see each other around? Anyway, I should… I should go, I guess…”

“I’m… I’m sorry, I…”

“Don’t worry about it. Uhm, later.” Susie walked back to her desk in the back of the class, and Noelle put her head down.

It was done. Her mom had asked her to do the unthinkable, and she had done it. She felt useless, like a puppet on her mom’s strings, all because she couldn’t be happy with the way she was.

Susie was wrong. It was Noelle who wasn’t good enough to be her friend, not the other way around. It was nice while it lasted. But those days were over, and they were never coming back.

Chapter Text

Chapter Sixteen

Goodbye

Susie

It had been a strange week, yet somehow, Susie was getting used to it. Little by little, things were starting to feel almost okay.

Predictably, Nina wasn’t fighting for custody of her daughter. It would be hard for her to win even if she did; they were up for eviction, and she had little to no money to support herself, let alone Susie. Her alcoholism was also an issue, and she was faced with court mandated rehabilitation, which Susie thought might be for the best.

In the meantime, Susie had gone back to her house with Toriel and Kirs, where they’d collected all of her possessions and brought them to the Dreemurr household. It didn’t amount to very much, but she had her few things stowed in Kris’s room. Or… was it her room too, now? It felt wrong to call it that, but… but maybe…

“She should be with people who care about her, and that’s us.”

Toriel’s words echoed in Susie’s head. It had been a week, and yet, Susie was still thinking on those words. Susie should be with the Dreemurr’s because they cared about her. It was where she belonged. And that thing about family…

But… was it really that simple? She’d be lying if she said she didn’t want this. But these kinds of things, they just didn’t happen to her. Kris seemed to be happy with the development, but maybe they were just too close to see clearly. Maybe Susie needed to talk to someone else about it.

Noelle. The name came to mind instantly. Susie had been torn on telling her about all this. Part of her wanted to, but… but what would she think about something like this? Finding out where Susie came from and what her mom was… would Noelle really want to be her friend after that?

Susie rose to a sitting position in the bed that had once been Asriel’s. That made her feel a little guilty. She’d never met him, but Kris and Toriel both thought very highly of him. And now she was sleeping in his old bed, filling in the hole he’d left. How was she supposed to live up to that?

Again, something inside her begged her to reach out to Noelle. Something told her that talking to the deer girl would ease her worries and make things much clearer. Somehow, Noelle would know exactly what to say to make things make sense again.

“Kris, you up?” Susie asked quietly. A snore answered her in return. She smirked and got out of bed as quietly as she could. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do, but she didn’t want to disturb Kris.

The only other room upstairs was Toriel’s, and obviously Susie wasn’t going to go there, so she went downstairs instead. She figured she could put something on the TV quietly while she waited for the others to wake up, but she was surprised to see she wasn’t alone.

“Oh.” Toriel smiled as Susie reached the bottom of the stairs. She was in her armchair with a book, but she must have heard Susie coming. “Good morning, Susie. You’re up early.”

“Uh, yeah… couldn’t sleep.” Susie looked around awkwardly. She wasn’t going to watch TV with Toriel right there. But then, what could she do? It would be awkward to go back to the room now that she was here, but it was awkward to sit around doing nothing too…

Toriel made her decision for her. “Come have a seat. I do not bite.”

“Uh, right.” Susie walked over to the couch and sat down on it. She wasn’t sure what to do exactly, so she folded her hands in her lap and waited for Toriel to make the first move.

“Do you like reading, Susie?” Toriel asked.

Susie snerked, then caught herself. “Uh… not really. I’ve been reading in class, though.”

“Oh? I love reading. There are so many different worlds you can visit in books.”

Although she didn’t say it, Susie wondered how that would compare to actually having gone to another world. After all that she’d experienced, she really couldn’t see herself enjoying reading about someone else’s adventures.

Even so, what she said was, “I always get distracted when we’re supposed to be reading.”

Although Susie thought Toriel might be disappointed, she didn’t seem to mind the answer. “A lot of students do,” she said without losing her smile. “I find group reading can help a lot. Perhaps you and Kris could read together.”

Susie thought back to the torture of reading out loud for the class, and how she struggled to get the words from the paper to her mouth. “I’m, uh, not sure. I mean… you know, Kris is so quiet…”

Toriel laughed a little. “Yes, I suppose they are. Perhaps with Noelle then? You two seem close.”

Although she would prefer to do something other than read a book, there was a certain appeal to having an excuse to listen to Noelle talk. And it was kind of cute how she got into character when they read the play as a class.

Thinking of this made Susie squirm, which she regretted as Toriel took notice. “Susie?”

Thinking quickly, Susie gave an excuse. “I was just thinking, uh… Noelle still doesn’t know I’m… here.”

“Ah, I see. I imagine it must be hard to talk about.”

“Yeah…” Susie suddenly glanced up. “Oh! I mean, not because of you or anything. You and Kris have been great, but…”

“I understand. But so will Noelle. She’s a good girl, and a good friend. She won’t judge you.”

“I guess.” Susie sighed. “I don’t even know why it’s so hard to talk to her.”

Toriel seemed to study Susie for a moment, then said, “You think very highly of her, don’t you?”

Susie squirmed more. “I, uh, I dunno? I guess so? She helped me a lot. She’s the only reason I’m not going to get expelled for failing my classes.”

Toriel giggled. “I see. And is that all? There’s no other reason?”

Susie blushed, not sure what Toriel was picking up on. “Well, you know… She’s been really nice to me when a lot of people haven’t. She’s… I don’t know, she’s just really good.”

“She is,” Toriel agreed. “So then, do you not think she would be understanding if you told her what was going on?”

Susie saw what just happened. Toriel got her to admit there was nothing to worry about all on her own. “I guess… I guess I’ll talk to her.”

“I think you should. I think you will feel much better afterwards.”

Susie nodded. “Yeah, I guess…”

There were footsteps from the stairs, so Susie turned to see Kris walking down, rubbing their eyes.

“Good morning, darling,” Toriel said. “Did you sleep well?”

Kris said they did, then took a seat beside Susie. They looked like they were ready to pass out again.

Toriel closed her book. “Well, since we’re all up, would you two like some breakfast? We have cereal, bagels, toast, muffins, oatmeal…”

“Uh, sure,” Susie said, and they shifted to talking about what they would eat. For her part, Susie was just happy to have a good meal in the morning. For the first time that she could remember, Susie wasn’t going hungry.

Well, she was hungry because they were about to eat, but Toriel kept her well-fed. She even sent her to school with a packed lunch every day since she’d been staying there. She suddenly had three meals a day, as well as additional snacks in between, and the gnawing in her stomach that she’d gotten so used to had finally subsided.

Not that she would pass up the chance for breakfast. Susie chose to have toast and a bagel, while Kris had oatmeal. Toriel herself just had fruit, commenting that she wasn’t very hungry.

While they ate, they talked about plans for the weekend. Toriel seemed to take it as a given that Susie would be there. Not that she had anywhere else to go, but she was still getting used to the idea that she’d be included.

“Hmm, perhaps we ought to go clothes shopping.” Toriel smiled at Susie. “I couldn’t help but notice that you did not bring too many clothes with you.”

Susie blushed. She had brought everything she had, but it was true that it didn’t amount to very much. Not to mention everything she did own was full of holes.

Still, she didn’t have money to buy anything new. Susie addressed her plate as she spoke. “I’m okay with what I have.”

“Oh, just a few things. Do not worry, I will get clothes in whatever style you like.”

“But…” Susie wasn’t sure what to say.

Kris told her that there was no arguing, their mom was going to do it one way or the other, so she might as well go and pick out her own clothes.

That made sense, but it made Susie feel guilty. “I just… I mean, maybe I could get myself something. Somehow…”

“Susie…” Toriel smiled, but her tone was sad. “I know it’s hard for you to accept help, but we do only want you to be comfortable here.”

Susie didn’t know what to say, so she was quiet until Toriel spoke again. “Perhaps you would feel better if we worked out a deal? I do have some chores I’ve been meaning to get to around the house. Nothing terribly difficult, just a few things that have been piling up. That way we’re both helping each other.”

That did make Susie feel much better. “I can do that.”

“Good, then it’s settled. We’ll go shopping on Saturday, then on Sunday we’ll work around the house. I shall have to write a list of things we can do.”

Susie nudged Kris. “Geez, Kris, you not pulling your weight around here or something?”

Kris shrugged, and Toriel chuckled. “Kris is a good kid. They do help around the house; it is not their fault. In truth, it’s been difficult since the divorce and Asriel moving away. There has been a shortage of hands around this old house. You will be a big help, I am sure.”

Susie liked the sound of that. She wanted to earn her keep, even if she got the feeling that Toriel didn’t expect it of her.

They ate leisurely, everyone having gotten an early start to the day. Once they finished, Susie and Kris went upstairs to change out of pajamas. As usual, Susie collected her clothes and went back downstairs to change in the bathroom.

She pulled off her pajamas, then pulled on the recently cleaned clothes. That caught her attention. They smelled like lilacs, the detergent that Toriel used. She could hardly remember her clothes smelling of anything but body odor for as long as she lived. Even when she washed clothes – not as often as she should, she knew – the soap she used just kind of made them smell like nothing.

After taking another sniff of her shirt, Susie left the room. She waited with Toriel on the way out, not sure if Kris would have finished changing.

“I hope you do not mind sharing a room with Kris,” Toriel said. “I know it must be a hassle to change in another room.”

“No, it’s fine.” Susie grinned. “Unless you have some advice about their snoring.”

Toriel laughed. “Oh, I hope it is not too bad!”

Susie joined in laughing as well. “I’m just joking. And anyway, I’m probably worse.”

After waiting a few moments, Susie went back upstairs. She took a second to collect herself while out in the hall. Things were good. They were good. For the first time since her dad left her, things were good.

With a smile fixed on her face, Susie knocked on the door. Kris gave her the okay to enter, so she did. They didn’t have a lot of time to do anything before school, so Susie got out a spiral notebook and sat on her bed.

Her bed. Was it her bed? No, no that couldn’t be right. She was only staying with the Dreemurrs while things got sorted. They wouldn’t want to…

Susie shook her head and started sketching. It was a picture of Kris, Toriel, and herself. She drew it as Kris worked on packing their homework and notes back in their backpack. Susie had packed hers the night before, but Kris had waited until the last moment.

Before too long, Toriel came to get them, and they followed her back downstairs. Along the way, Susie joked around with Kris about their habit of waiting until the last minute. Everyone was in a good mood as they got into the car and made their way to school.

Along the way though, Susie felt nervous. Once she got there, she’d have to talk to Noelle. And who knew how that would go…

No, that wasn’t fair. Susie knew how it would go. Noelle would be concerned at first, but then as Susie explained things were being taken care of, she would be relieved. She wouldn’t blame Susie for the things her mom did, and she’d be happy that her friend was okay. That was just how Noelle was.

So why was it still so daunting to tell her? Susie asked herself that all the way to school. They walked in together and exchanged hugs with Toriel. Susie was slowly getting used to that morning ritual, even if hugging still felt a little strange to her.

At least it was over soon, then Susie and Kris made their way to class. As they walked in, Susie’s eyes immediately were drawn to Noelle. She looked at them as they entered, but she turned away a moment later.

Susie took a deep breath, then walked up to Noelle. It was time. “Uh, hi,” she said awkwardly. “Can we, uhm, talk?”

Noelle looked up at Susie. “I… I have to talk to you about something too.”

Something seemed wrong. Noelle didn’t look right. Susie’s news could wait. “Oh yeah? You go first.”

Nothing could have prepared Susie for what she heard, though. “I… I can’t be your friend anymore.”

Susie blinked, then blinked again. She couldn’t believe what she’d just heard. No, she had to have heard wrong! “What?”

“Susie, I’m… I’m sorry.” Noelle sounded like she might cry at any moment, and she didn’t manage to look at Susie while she spoke. “You’re… you’re a really great person, and I… Well, being your friend has made me so happy, but… I just can’t anymore.”

Susie winced, trying to piece together what was happening. “You… but why?”

Noelle shook her head. “I just… I need to focus on my studies. I don’t have time to… to be your friend…”

“Oh…” Susie looked down at the ground. Right. Noelle had a future, a real future. She was so smart, and she would go on to do great things. Susie would… she would just get in the way. “I… I get it. I get it, you know? It makes sense. I mean, it was pretty dumb of me. Thinking a girl like me could be friends with a girl like you.”

“Susie, it’s not… This is my fault!”

“Hey, it’s cool.” Susie forced a smile. “And, you know, maybe we’ll still… I don’t know, see each other around? Anyway, I should… I should go, I guess…”

“I’m… I’m sorry, I…”

“Don’t worry about it. Uhm, later.” Susie walked back to her desk, but she stopped when she saw Kris.

She didn’t like how they looked. They were beyond upset, they were pissed. It was strange seeing them so expressive, and it was directed at Noelle of all people.

Susie put a hand on their shoulder. “Hey, it’s alright. We’ll… figure something out, you know? Just… leave this to me for now.”

Kris turned away, and Susie took her seat. Despite what she said to Kris, she had no intention of doing anything. Noelle had made her choice, and it was the right one. Susie was… no matter what happened recently, no matter if she got her grades up and stopped picking fights, she wasn’t a good kid like Noelle was.

She didn’t fit into the other girl’s world. She was lucky to have just passed through it for a while.

“So, uhm, class,” Ms. Alphys said from the front of the room. Susie wondered if she had heard, like Kris had. She didn’t give any indication either way. “Today we’re going to do a, uhm, a pop quiz!”

There were groans all around, but it didn’t deter their teacher. She passed out the quiz, and Susie looked it over.

She knew the answers. She actually knew the answers to most of the questions. And it was all because of Noelle. Perfect Noelle, who had even gotten Susie to learn something.

It was more than Susie could have asked for. Noelle had given her a gift; she didn’t owe her friendship too. It was the least Susie could do to apply that gift and pass this dumb test.

It was the least she could do, yet she did less. Susie pushed the test aside and put her head down in her arms.

Lunch was bad. Noelle didn’t eat with them, and Susie felt her absence. But as bad as that was, the drive home was even worse. No matter what was going on between them, Noelle’s house was too far for her to walk to, so Toriel was still driving her home. She was oblivious to the rift, talking cheerfully the whole way.

When they reached Noelle’s house, Susie still got out to help Noelle out of the car. She offered her arm without a word, and Noelle responded in kind as she took it. They didn’t look at each other.

When Noelle was on her hooves, she thanked Toriel for the ride, said goodbye to Kris, then turned to Susie.

“Bye, Susie…”

“See you tomorrow,” Susie said. She wondered if she should walk Noelle to the door like she usually did, but she didn’t think the offer would be appreciated. Not to mention she wasn’t sure that she wanted to anymore. She understood Noelle’s decision, but it still stung.

Unfortunately, Toriel finally seemed to notice something was wrong by the time Susie got back in the car. “Uhm, is something the matter between you two?”

“No,” Susie said. She looked out the window and didn’t say more. Toriel dropped the subject.

They drove the rest of the short trip in silence. Susie wondered what would happen next. She would keep seeing Noelle in class, but they could mostly ignore each other there. But on the drive home? They sat side by side in the backseat. Toriel had already caught on, what would she say on the next trip? Susie couldn’t keep pretending everything was fine.

She decided that was a problem for later. For now, all she wanted to do was be alone in her room. Her room, not Kris’s. Sure, she hated that house and what it represented, full of the crap her mom hoarded, lacking in food or warmth or life. But even so, at least she could be alone there until her mom staggered home drunk. Kris was great, but Susie just wanted time to think.

She wouldn’t get that, and not just because Kris would be around. As they pulled up to the house, there were already two cars there – a black sedan and a police car. Susie wondered if there was some kind of news about her mom. She frowned as she got out of the car.

“What is going on?” Toriel asked. Ruby, the social worker from before, and Officer Undyne were both waiting for them.

Undyne took her hat off. “Hi, Toriel. So, you’ve been looking after Susie, huh?”

Toriel put a hand on Susie’s shoulder “That’s right. Susie has been a delight to have around, I’m very grateful to have her here.”

“That’s good to hear. It’s great to know she’s been in good hands this past week.” Undyne smiled at Susie. “You doing okay, kid?”

“I, uh, I guess so.” Susie frowned. “Did something happen with my mom?”

“No, nothing like that,” Undyne answered quickly. “She’s, well, she’s still pending a trial for neglect. You know that though. But that’s not why we’re here.”

Ruby cleared her throat but didn’t speak. Toriel did in her place. “What can we do for you?”

“Surrender Susie to the law, Ms. Dreemurr,” Ruby said. “We have a place for her, everything has been taken care of.”

“I told you before, Susie is perfectly well taken care of here.”

Undyne sighed and put her hat on. “Listen, Toriel, you’ve done a great job. Thank you for looking after her this past week. But… the law is the law. You don’t have custody of Susie.”

Although she might not have realized, Toriel tightened her grip on Susie’s shoulder. “You can’t possibly think this is a good idea.”

Undyne locked eyes with Toriel. “Dammit, Toriel. You know it’s not about what I think. The law’s the law, and I’m a police officer. I can’t ignore this. What you’re doing… I know you mean well, but legally speaking, you’ve kidnapped Susie.”

“Kidnapped?” Toriel’s eyes went wide for a moment, then she glared back. “I’ve provided her with a loving household. That cannot possibly be a bad thing.”

“This is serious!” Undyne’s voice grew louder, and Susie couldn’t help but wonder who she was really angry with. “You could be arrested for this. I… I would have to do it, you know that, right?”

Toriel held her ground but said nothing.

“Think of Kris,” Undyne said. “What do you think would happen to them if their mom was arrested on kidnapping charges?”

Toriel spoke, her voice desperate. “Undyne, I know you do not wish to do this!”

“Of course I don’t!” Undyne said. “Look, we haven’t been close since you and Asgore split, but dammit, you know I respect the hell out of you! And yeah, I think Asgore could look after Kris, but you know I don’t want to take away a kid’s mom right in front of them!”

“What Officer Undyne is trying to say,” Ruby said, earning her a glare from both of the other adults, “is that this isn’t easy for anyone, but it’s the right thing to do.”

Even though that was very clearly not what Undyne was trying to say, it did ring true. Toriel had done so much for Susie, and causing her to be arrested for kidnapping? There was no way Susie could do that.

So she stepped forward, pulling herself away from Toriel’s grip. “Alright, I’ll go with you.”

“Very good, Susie,” Ruby said. “Things will be good for you from here, don’t worry.”

“Susie…” Toriel said.

Susie looked back and smiled. “Hey, so uh… thanks for everything, you know? It… it really meant a lot to me.”

“This sucks,” Undyne muttered.

“Let’s get you your stuff,” Ruby said.

“I think it would be best if you two stayed out here,” Toriel said, her voice thick.

Although it was hard to read the crystalline woman’s expressions, Susie thought she looked taken aback. “You can’t possibly think we’d trust you to –”

“Take your time,” Undyne said loudly, her voice drowning out the other woman’s. “We’ll be here.”

Ruby turned to look at Undyne, but the officer didn’t fold. Susie, Kris, and Toriel were allowed to go into the house, just the three of them.

Once they were inside, Toriel placed both hands on Susie’s shoulders. “I am so sorry, Susie… I never meant for this to happen.”

“Hey, it’s fine.” Susie smiled. “I mean, it was never going to be permanent, right? What’s a little sooner?”

Toriel watched Susie for a moment, then let go of her. “You and Kris go gather your things. I’ll be down here.”

Toriel took a step back, so the two teens went upstairs into the bedroom. They didn’t say anything, but Kris helped Susie pack. She had borrowed luggage from Toriel to pack her things from her house, and now she filled the same suitcases with her things again.

There wasn’t much to pack, so it didn’t take long. Before she could leave, however, Susie felt something that caught her off guard: Kris put their arms around her.

Susie put one arm around them in turn. “Heh, you’re such a sap.”

Kris let go of them and they locked eyes. Susie saw that this pained them too. She swallowed and looked away. “Hey, I mean, I’ll still see you in school, right?”

Kris agreed, then the two of them went downstairs. Susie smiled as she saw Toriel, who was packing a to-go container with some of the brownies she had baked the night before. “It’s not much, but I know you liked them.”

“Thanks,” Susie said as she took the container. “And, you know, thanks for everything else too.”

“It was our pleasure,” Toriel said. “You have all your things?”

“Yeah, I’ll have to bring back the luggage later.”

“Do not worry about that, dear.” Toriel enveloped Susie in another hug. “We will both miss you.”

“Yeah, well, I won’t be a stranger, you know?”

“Of course. You still have our number?”

“Uh, yeah, it’s somewhere in my backpack.”

“Good.” Toriel let Susie go and smiled at her. “Take care of yourself, Susie. And be good.”

Susie grinned, and Toriel and Kris walked with her outside.

Undyne and Ruby were waiting, and it was the officer who spoke. “You ready to go then?”

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

“Alright. You’ll be riding with her.” Undyne gestured to Ruby. “I’ll be heading back to the station to fill out a report on all this. I… I’ll make it sound good.”

Susie understood she meant she would cover for Toriel. With a wave, Susie walked over to the black sedan, putting her bags in the trunk and getting into the passenger seat.

Ruby got in as well, and she spoke far too cheerfully. “This will be a good move for you, you’ll see.”

“Uh huh.” Susie looked out the window, watching as Toriel and Kris waved her off.

They pulled out of the driveway and into the road. Ruby was talking about the people who were going to foster her, but Susie didn’t care about any of that.

They drove for what must have been twenty minutes before something Ruby said clicked. “I think you’ll like Amberbreach.”

Susie’s eyes went wide. “Amberbreach? I’m not staying in Hometown?”

“No, it’s hard to find suitable families out here. Far more options in the big city.”

“But… but all my friends are here! This is where my school is! Kris, Lancer, Ralsei… Noelle…”

“Oh, you’re young. You’ll make new friends, you’ll see.”

“We have to go back.” Susie looked out the window, but she wasn’t sure where they were.

“Afraid we’ve delayed things long enough thanks to Ms. Dreemurr’s actions.”

“But…” Susie placed her hand on the glass, as if she could somehow reach all the people she cared about through it. “I didn’t get to say a real goodbye…”

“You had plenty of time for that. Besides, we’re on a schedule.”

It was easy to see this would go nowhere, so Susie was left to grind her teeth. She looked out the window at the already unfamiliar sights, and she wondered how she could ever think anything good might happen to her.

~ End Act II ~

Chapter Text

Act III

Dropping the ACT

Chapter Seventeen

Silence

Noelle

It seemed there would be no more music in Noelle’s mornings. She woke up, made her way to the bathroom, and showered in silence. No song would leave her lips, not when there was none in her heart. Little by little, life kept taking things from her, and it had taken its toll.

Her dad, her leg, Susie… just when things were starting to look up for her, Noelle had lost so much. Almost absent-mindedly, she wondered what she would lose next.

Without even bothering to criticize her reflection, Noelle made her way back to her room. Although she wasn’t in a hurry, she walked as quickly through the hall as her cast would allow. She had decided to spend as little time as possible outside of her bedroom.

Once she was in the room, however, her movements slowed. She hobbled over to her bed, picked up her prescription bottle, and examined it. There wasn’t much to see, nothing she hadn’t seen time and time again. She’d been taking estrogen for over a year, there was nothing novel about it any longer. Still, she examined the bottle.

Thirty little pills. Thirty more in the other bottle, containing her T-blockers. Thirty days of not having to worry about her body suddenly changing. Thirty days of preserving her sense of self, but it had come at a cost.

She’d paid the price, she might as well get what she paid for. Noelle opened the bottle, took out a pill, then did the same with the other one. She popped them into her mouth, then took a drink from a bottle of water she’d left aside the night before.

And that was it. She’d lost a friend for this. What would she lose next?

Whatever her mom asked her to give up. She was chained, and Carol Holiday held the leash.

Noelle tried to look on the bright side. She’d gotten her meds back. No sudden changes had happened while she’d been off them. She was still Noelle.

It didn’t help much. She was a coward. She was too weak to stand up to her mom, too weak to stand beside her friend. Too scared of losing who she was that she never stopped to realize that who she was might not be such a great person.

That was fine. It was fine, really. Noelle would just go back to how things were before. She would just focus on school, call her dad whenever she could, get through each day, and everything would be okay.

And Susie would be okay, too. She didn’t need a friend like Noelle. She didn’t need someone who was only there for her when it was easy to be. She had Kris, and… Oh, Kris probably wouldn’t want to be Noelle’s friend anymore either…

With a sigh, Noelle forced herself off the bed. She went to the closet and picked out a nice dress, green with red trim and holly embroidered on the top. She got dressed with only minor difficulty as she got more used to the cast each day, and then she examined herself.

It was a pretty dress. Sometimes, Noelle even felt pretty in dresses like that. But not today. Today she felt disgusting, and no dress was going to cover that up.

Noelle took a deep breath. She was a little hungry, but she ignored that. She had the bottle of water she’d gotten the night before, so she drank the rest of it. That was breakfast. Getting anything else would mean spending more time with her mom than was strictly necessary, and she’d sooner starve.

Since self-loathing wasn’t a great way to pass the time, Noelle fished through her backpack for a book. It didn’t exactly stop the self-loathing, but it distracted her a little.

At least, it should have. Instead, she just found herself thinking of Susie, and wondering if she’d enjoy the book. She didn’t like to read, Noelle knew that, but the story still might appeal to her. She thought of reading together to get Susie to open herself up to books a little more, and of how fun that would be.

Noelle never used to think about things like that. She had always given a lot of thought to Susie, but before, it was always about the rush she might get if the tough girl got just a little rough with her. She thought of Susie looming over her, making Noelle’s heart pound against her chest. She even thought of things like Susie pushing her up against lockers, and how she might freeze up under her gaze.

But then things changed. Susie was more than just a bad girl crush now. She was a friend, one that she’d formed a real connection with. Now she wanted to share her interests with Susie and take part in Susie’s interests as well. At some point her crush had grown into something so much more real and wonderful than it had ever been, and now, it was all over.

Noelle closed the book. It wasn’t doing anything for her after all.

Time passed slowly with nothing to do, but still, it passed. Eventually, her mom knocked on her door. “Ready to go?”

The burning rage that had been seething in Noelle was still there, but it could not penetrate her mom’s icy demeanor. Submissively, Noelle stood on her one good hoof, using her crutches to keep herself upright. “Yeah,” she managed to get out. “I’m ready.”

She hobbled out of the house, managing the stairs with some difficulty but managing them all the same. By the time she got to the car, her mom had the engine on and was ready to go. That suited Noelle just fine. She didn’t want to spend a single second more than she needed to with her mother.

Not that she was looking forward to school. Susie and Kris would leave her alone, and she’d eat lunch with Berdly again, and he’d talk about how she’d made the right decision to spend time with him instead of Susie. Then there would be a painfully awkward ride home where Susie… Susie would be sweet as ever, still looking out for her after everything.

“You’re quiet today,” Carol commented.

“I guess…” Noelle said. She didn’t want to say anything, but she couldn’t not answer her mom. That would just invite more conversation. “Just tired.”

“Hmm, you skipped breakfast. Are you feeling okay?”

How could she not know what was going on? And what right did she have to actually sound concerned for her daughter? Not that she’d call Noelle that. Not that she ever called Noelle that.

“I’m fine,” Noelle said irritably.

For once, her mom seemed to get the hint and said nothing. They drove the rest of the way in silence.

That was how Noelle wanted to leave it, too. Just get out of the car and walk into school, not saying a word. Instead, and though each word made her hate herself all the more, Noelle managed to mumble, “Have a good day.”

“You too,” Carol said.

Noelle shut the door, and she hobbled into the school building. She kept her eyes on the ground as she did, not wanting to see her peers.

Everything was the same as it always was. It felt like it shouldn’t be, like there should be something different about the school now that Susie and Noelle weren’t friends. The lights should be dimmer, the doors should be heavier, something should have happened. But Noelle entered the classroom and saw herself to her seat, just as she always did, and nothing about it was unusual.

“Good morning, Noelle,” Ms. Alphys said. Noelle looked up to see she had her hands folded on her desk.

Since her teacher deserved it, Noelle showed her a kind smile. “Good morning, Ms. Alphys.”

Although she was usually chipper and happy to chat with her student, today Ms. Alphys shifted uncomfortably in her seat. When she finally spoke, it was clear that it was through more effort than it should have been, as she stumbled over her words. “So, uh, I h-heard you and, uhm… You were t-talking with S-Susie, and…”

Noelle squeezed her eyes shut tight for a moment, then opened them and forced a smile once more. “I just thought I should take more care in how I’m doing in school. Susie and I… well, I still think she’s really great, but now that she’s doing okay with her grades on her own…”

“There’s more to life than school, Noelle.” For a second, it seemed Ms. Alphys was too caught off guard to remember to be awkward, but then it all came back at once. “I-I mean, you know, that probably sounds strange coming from… from your teacher, but! I think you should, er… remember that friends a-are important too!”

Friends were important. Noelle knew that. She did, but… but she couldn’t pay the price that friendship asked of her.

“It’s better this way,” she said, more to herself than to her teacher. If she kept saying it, maybe it might even be true.

If Ms. Alphys was going to say anything else, she never got the chance to. The door opened and Berdly came in, and it wasn’t long before other people did as well. Noelle tried her best to ignore them, knowing that Susie was going to walk in the door at any minute, and not wanting to see her when she did.

Eventually the bell rang, and Ms. Alphys frowned at the class. “I guess this is everyone today, then.”

Against her better judgement, Noelle looked behind her. Sure enough, Susie and Kris were absent. They hadn’t missed school since Susie had been threatened with expulsion, and the two of them being absent at the same time was worrying. Had Noelle caused them to fall into bad habits again?

“Well then, I suppose we’ll get started. Today we’ll be –”

Ms. Alphys was interrupted as the door opened, revealing Kris. Only Kris, without Susie with them. The teacher smiled all the same. “Hi, Kris. D-don’t worry about being late, I don’t mind! But, uhm, is it just you today?”

Kris nodded, then walked to their seat. They didn’t spare Noelle a glance as they did.

“Well, I guess we’re one short today, class. No worries, though! We’ve got a fun lesson planned!”

Ms. Alphys started explaining the day’s lesson plan, but Noelle wasn’t really paying attention. She looked back at Kris, but they weren’t paying any attention to her. Or to anything else, for that matter. They sat with their chin on their hand, staring off into the distance.

After a moment, Noelle realized Berdly was staring at her. “Ugh, I guess I’ll ask then,” he grumbled, then turned to Kris. “Hey, Kris, where’s Susie?”

Although Kris only said one word, it chilled Noelle to the bone.

“Gone?” she repeated. 

“What do you mean, gone?” Berdly asked.

“Is everything okay, Kris?” Ms. Alphys asked.

Everyone joined in with similar questions, and Kris looked around the room with increasing desperation. After a moment and without a word, they stood up and ran out of the room.

“Kris, wait!” Ms. Alphys tried calling, but it was too late. Everyone looked at one another, then Ms. Alphys cleared her throat and addressed Noelle. “Er, could you go check on them?”

Although Noelle suspected that Kris might not want her to be the one going after them, Noelle needed to know what had happened. Gone? They couldn’t mean that she was…

Noelle hobbled out of the room as fast as she could. She didn’t have to go far, as Kris was leaning against the lockers just outside of the classroom.

“Kris?” Noelle prompted. They didn’t look at her. “What happened to Susie?”

For a moment, it seemed like they might refuse to speak with her. When they did, it was with a harsh accusation.

Not that Noelle could blame them for thinking that. “I do care. Susie’s my… Well, I know what happened yesterday, but I do care about her. I care about her so much, and if anything happened to her…”

Kris leaned their head back, thudding against the locker. Then they looked slightly towards Noelle, and they explained.

Susie was gone. Someone had come and taken her away, and Kris wasn’t even sure where to. Suffice it to say, she was no longer in Hometown.

“And… and she’s not coming back?” Noelle asked. Kris didn’t answer, but Noelle understood. All this had happened so suddenly, and they probably didn’t know either.

Little by little, it sank in that this wasn’t a mean prank. Susie was really gone. Noelle had been crushing on the other girl since freshman year, and she’d barely had time to be friends with her.

And now it was over. She’d thought it was over when she’d told Susie that they could no longer remain friends, but only now did she realize she’d expected that to work out somehow.

But there was no more hope. Noelle wouldn’t ever get to fix things. Susie was gone, and she was not coming back.

Noelle leaned against the locker with Kris. She knew the two of them were expected back in class, but somehow, she just didn’t care. Susie was gone, and everything was worse because of it.

Out of nowhere, Kris asked her a question. They asked if her mom had been the reason that she’d said those things to Susie.

Normally she would deny it. She was always defending her mom, some undying sense of obligation that she had to keep people from thinking the worst about someone who only ever took things from her daughter’s life.

But for once, she didn’t. Noelle’s eyelids drooped as she looked down at the ground, but she told the truth. “Yeah,” she said. “That’s what happened.”

Kris didn’t say anything in return, but after a moment, they put their arm around Noelle. She couldn’t remember a single time that Kris had hugged her in all the years they’d known each other, but it seemed in this one instance, they were exactly who the other person needed.

Noelle leaned her head against Kris’s shoulder, careful to not hit them with her antlers. This shouldn’t be happening. So much of what had happened lately shouldn’t have happened.

And, Noelle thought, maybe it was time that she did something about it.

Noelle sat in the living room waiting. She’d decided to spend as much time in her room as she could and avoid her mom at all costs. Now she was waiting for her to come home.

All the while, she thought back on her last conversation with Susie. She wondered if Susie was thinking of it too. No doubt she thought her friend hated her. She thought Noelle cared more about her studies than their friendship. Wherever she was, Susie must have thought Noelle was happier with her gone.

Or maybe she didn’t think of Noelle at all. She obviously had other things going on. Noelle had probably moved pretty far down in her thoughts by this point. It was hard to decide if not being thought about at all would be better or worse than Susie thinking Noelle hated her.

One detail gnawed at Noelle more than anything else. Susie had wanted to tell her something. She’d come to her to talk, but Noelle had decided not to hear her out. What had she wanted to say? Did Susie know this was happening and try to tell her friend about it? What would that have been like? To be looking for comfort only to be turned away in the worst possible way?

Again, Kris might know what Susie had wanted to say. But how could she ask them about that now? She’d hurt Susie, she knew she did. Kris was her best friend, and yeah, they were Noelle’s friend too. But it was Noelle who decided to rupture their little friend group, and she could tell Kris was upset about it. Even Toriel had barely talked on the drive to Noelle’s house, the trip passing in silence.

The silence of the house was only broken by a grandfather clock tick tocking the seconds away. Noelle barely noticed it. She was waiting for her mom. She was waiting for answers.

And she was going to get them. The door opened, and Noelle turned to see her mom. Carol seemed surprised to find Noelle in the living room. “Hey. Thought you’d be in your room again.”

“Can we talk?” Noelle asked.

Carol frowned and shut the door, then walked into the living room. “What’s on your mind?”

This was it. It was what Noelle had been waiting for since getting home from school, but now that it was in front of her, she wanted to run and hide.

But for once, Noelle held her ground. “That girl was taken away. The one you didn’t want me to be friends with.”

“Oh. Yes, I’m aware.”

So she did know something. “What happened to her?”

Carol shrugged. “She was put into foster care. Her mom’s a deadbeat who can’t look after her, and with some luck and the right environment, maybe the girl can make something more of herself.”

“She was staying with the Dreemurrs, wasn’t she?” Noelle asked, though it was almost more of a statement than a question.

“She was, yes. Why Toriel wanted to keep a girl like that around, I’ll never know. She’s always been a strange one, though. Picks up strays, you know how she is.”

Noelle’s eye twitched. “Toriel wanted to keep Susie around?”

Carol regarded her daughter. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It matters to me,” Noelle said, a little edge creeping into her voice. “She was… she was my friend.”

“And you’re better off now. You don’t need that kind of person in your life. It’s bad enough you keep hanging around with Toriel’s other stray, but at least that one comes from a respectable family.”

“Kris is a good kid!” Noelle was sick of her mom badmouthing her friends. She glared at her for a moment, then looked off to the side. “And so is Susie.”

“Clearly not,” Carol said with a sneer. “You never used to behave like this, what’s gotten into you?”

“Nothing,” Noelle forced out. “But… I need to know. What was going on with Toriel and Susie?”

“You want to talk back to me and then expect me to answer your questions? I don’t think so. You’re way out of line, and if this keeps up…”

She didn’t need to finish the threat. Noelle had gotten her meds back just the other day, and if she didn’t drop the subject, she’d lose them again. She felt her chest tighten, a familiar sensation when her mom was involved.

But she refused. Her mom knew something, and she needed to know what it was. But Noelle was not finding out like this, she needed to be smart. “I’m sorry,” she said, forcing as much false sincerity into her voice as she could. “I… I don’t know what’s gotten into me. You’re right, it’s good she’s gone.”

“That’s more like it. Now why don’t you run along? I’m sure you have homework to do.”

Noelle stood up, her mind racing with her next move. Trying to sound casual, she took a guess at what the big secret might have been. “So was Toriel really trying to like… adopt her?”

Carol looked at her for a moment, then said, “Yes. I’ll never understand why, but Toriel came into city hall trying to get adoption papers for that girl.”

Everything inside Noelle, all the racing thoughts, all the anxieties, all the could have beens… Everything went silent. She felt hollow, knowing that Susie’s happiness had been so close, only to have been taken away.

Then something else came to replace all that had faded away: fear. She had a question, but she didn’t want to ask it because she knew the answer could break her. “So… why didn’t it work?”

Carol let out a single laugh. “Because I did Toriel a favor. And you. There was no way I could sign off on that. Despite what her child might be, Toriel is an upstanding citizen whose heart is too big for her own good.”

“You… you stopped it?”

“I had to.”

“But you… how could you?”

“Excuse me?” Carol pursed her lips and stared at her daughter. “Watch your tone.”

“How could you!” Noelle didn’t care anymore. She didn’t care what her mom could do to her, she didn’t care if she destroyed Noelle’s life. She did it time and again anyway, what difference did it make? “Susie could have been happy! How could you take that from her!?”

“Do not speak to me that way! You are my child, I will not have you –”

“I’m your daughter,” Noelle spat. “You’ve never even called me by my name.”

“I gave you a name, it is not my fault if you want to pretend to be someone different.”

“I’m not pretending anything! I’m me, this is me!” Noelle gestured to herself. “My name is Noelle, and you can’t even use it! You… you’re horrible to me, all the time! You made me stop being friends with Susie, who hasn’t done anything wrong! She’s a good friend, she’s nice to me, she watches out for me, which is more than I can say about you!”

Carol rose to her hooves. “You will stop talking to me like this, or you will regret it!”

“Go ahead! Treat me like a boy! Do whatever you want to me, I don’t care anymore! You can’t treat people the way you do! I’m done playing your sick games, and if Dad were here, you’d never dare –”

“He’s not here, and you have to live with that as much as I do!” Carol shouted. “You think I like being alone and watching my son turn himself into a girl and make friends with the neighborhood trash!?”

“I am not your son! I don’t even want to be your daughter anymore, I just want you out of my life!”

“Enough!” Carol crossed the room, and Noelle flinched. But she didn’t stop where her daughter stood, she kept walking in long strides to the stairs.

It only took a second for Noelle to realize what she was doing. “No! Don’t!”

If not for her cast, Noelle might have been able to outrun her mom to her bedroom. But injured as she was, she didn’t stand a chance. Carol made it to the room before Noelle could even reach the stairs, and by the time she’d started climbing, Carol was already at her doorway.

She held up the two bottles of meds. “You won’t need these anymore. Ever again.”

“Mom, stop! I’m sorry, I –”

Carol disappeared back into the room. Noelle climbed the stairs as fast as she could.

She arrived just in time to see Carol coming out with an armful of dresses. “And no son of mine is going to be seen in dresses again.”

“No, you can’t!” Noelle lunged to try and grab them, but her mom sidestepped her, and she fell to the ground.

“That’s enough! You are way out of line, and I’ve had it with you! No more of this, Nicholas! Things are changing, and they’re not going back!”

Noelle felt paralyzed. She couldn’t even make a grab for the clothes as her mom stepped over her.

She heard her mom walk down the stairs, through the living room, then out the front door. Noelle forced herself up, then hobbled into her room.

They were gone. Everything, all of her nice dresses. She knew she had a few things tucked away in drawers, summer blouses and some skirts, but her closet was empty.

And what did it matter if there was anything else? Her mom was sure to do a more thorough sweep of the room once she got back inside. Noelle fell to the floor once more, and her tears were the only sound in the silence.

Chapter Text

Chapter Eighteen

Everything Changed

Susie

It was all wrong. Things weren’t bad, but they weren’t right either. People just… didn’t act like this.

The bell rang, and while Susie was getting her stuff together, the teacher reminded everyone of their homework. That was normal, until he added, “Oh, Susie, I know you haven’t been with us long, so don’t worry about this assignment. We’ll get you started on the next one, ‘kay?”

Susie blinked, but she answered with, “Sure, sounds great.”

As if that wasn’t enough, while she collected herself, one of her classmates walked over to her. “Hey, Susie,” she said. “See you tomorrow?”

Although she wasn’t sure who this girl was or why she was talking to her, Susie answered anyway. “Uh, yeah, I guess?”

The girl waved and walked away, leaving Susie confused. People just didn’t act like that. Not with her, anyway.

Not wanting anyone else to do anything weird, Susie quickly threw her things into her backpack. She slung it over one shoulder and left the room.

Most of the teenagers in the hall ignored her, which was fine. But… no one backed away, no one avoided eye contact, no one seemed to care that she was there. That was… good, right? That was what she’d always wanted?

It was just so strange. And it seemed to only get stranger, as she heard someone calling her name. He was a guy from one of her classes, but she didn’t really know him, so she ducked into the girls’ restroom to avoid him.

With a sigh, Susie walked over to one of the sinks. She didn’t bother to run it, though she did look at her reflection. She was in a clean school uniform, which had been ironed for her. She’d never worn anything that had been ironed. Nor had she ever worn a tie or a button up shirt, but that was just scratching the surface of the new things she was experiencing. At least they let her wear pants.

Not her jacket, though. She felt weird without it. She wore it every day, except when she’d lent it to Noelle that one time.

Noelle… Susie wondered how she was doing. She hoped Kris wasn’t giving her a hard time about whatever it was that had happened between them.

There was no sense in worrying about that now. She turned around and went into one of the stalls. While she was in there, she pulled out her phone.

That was new. She’d been given a cell phone of her own, something she’d never had before. She’d used Kris’s a little bit here and there, but she was still learning how everything worked on it.

There was some sort of chat app that Kris insisted she use instead of texting because it was better somehow, and she had notifications from that. She opened it, knowing it would be from Kris. They were her only friend on the app, after all.

They’d sent her a meme, but she didn’t really get it. She hadn’t grown up on the internet like Kris had, so she didn’t get all the references. Not wanting them to make fun of her for being an old lady – despite the fact she was younger than them – she messaged back saying ‘haha thats great’.

Deciding it had been long enough that the guy who was calling for her would be gone, she shoved her phone back in her pocket and left the stall.

After washing her hands, Susie left the bathroom. She immediately jumped as a voice greeted her. “Hey, Susie!”

Straightening her posture, Susie bit back her anger at being scared to give a composed reply. “Yeah?”

A boy with a bulldog’s face scratched at his neck awkwardly. “Well, a few of us are going the arcade. We were wondering if you wanted to come?”

He was inviting her out to do something? What, did he have a death wish? Didn’t he know who… well, no, he didn’t know who he was talking to…

Susie looked off to the side, not wanting to look him in the eye. “Sounds cool, but uh, I should go. My… well, someone’s here to get me already.”

“Oh, okay. Well, hey, maybe another time!” The bulldog boy smiled and waved, then ran off. Susie watched him disappear into the crowd, then made her way through the halls herself.

She hadn’t been lying, someone really was picking her up. That was far from the only reason she’d rather not do something with a bunch of people she didn’t even know, but it was certainly a convenient excuse.

At least no one else tried to stop her on the way to the car circle. And why would they? This place was so big, and there were just so many people, most of whom didn’t know Susie from any other random face in the hall. It was kind of nice, not having everyone back away in fear. Even if it did mean getting through the crowd was a little bit harder.

Eventually she did make it to the car circle. That was also strange to Susie. Her other school didn’t have a car circle; it wasn’t big enough to need one, and most kids in the small town walked to school anyway. This school, however, had a long snaking path in front of it to fit in as many of the parents’ cars as it could, and that seemed to be how a ton of kids got to and from school.

Susie scanned the sea of cars, looking for one in particular -- a navy-blue minivan that she still wasn’t used to the sight of yet. She thought she saw it, then had her suspicions confirmed when the driver stuck his hand out and waved.

Susie waved back, then walked over to the minivan. It was towards the front of the line; he must have gotten there early.

She opened the door and climbed in, and she was greeted by the smell of apple spiced air freshener mixing in with an earthier smell from the driver. He had a gruff appearance, but he countered that with a friendly smile. His jagged body was made of rock, and his voice was deep and soft as he asked, “How was school today?”

“It was fine,” Susie said as she buckled up.

“Everyone still being nice?”

Susie almost rolled her eyes. She’d been enrolled in the local school for almost a week, and yet Karst kept asking every day. “Yeah, they’re fine.”

“That’s good. We just want you to settle in nicely here.”

‘We’ was Karst and his husband, the two of whom were fostering Susie. They were both nice, and made sure Susie was well taken care of. Really, she had everything she could ask for here.

Susie fished in her pocket and pulled out her phone. That was a gift from her foster parents, who had been surprised to find out that Susie had never had a phone of her own before. She opened the messaging app and saw Kris had sent her a picture of a lizard they had caught that they’d labeled ‘Susie 2.0’. She smiled and messaged back ‘dam dude way 2 replace me alrady’

A moment later, her phone dinged, and the reply read, ‘Couldn’t get Susie 2.0 to eat a pinecone, so what’s the point?’

Susie laughed. ‘ya im irresponsible’

‘Yeah you are.’

For a second, Susie was surprised that they agreed so openly, then she saw her typo. ‘ugh spell check i meant irreplaceable’

‘Nah, you had it right the first time.’

Susie smirked, then noticed Karst glancing at her. He smiled. “One of your friends from Hometown?”

“Yeah,” Susie said. She’d told her foster parents about Kris and Noelle, although she’d left out what her last conversation with Noelle had been like. “They’re just messing around.”

“I’m sure you miss them.”

Susie looked out the window at the unfamiliar and overly crowded city. “Yeah, I guess.”

“You’ll make friends here,” Karst said softly. “I know it doesn’t feel much like it now, but things will work out.”

“I guess you know how it goes, huh?”

Karst nodded. “It’s always tough on everyone at first, especially when you have to move to a new city. But trust me, it gets easier.”

Somehow, Susie didn’t want it to get easier. She didn’t want being away from her friends to be easy. It felt wrong.

She didn’t say that, though. Instead, she asked, “So how many kids have you fostered, anyway?”

“You’re the fifth,” Karst answered with a quirky smile. “And every kid is different, but there are a few things that everyone feels. I’m sure you feel lost, not sure what’ll happen. But we’ll help you out.”

That was true, and somehow, Susie didn’t like that either. Karst was a good guy, she genuinely liked him. But for whatever reason, she didn’t really like him knowing how she felt. “I’m okay. I guess I’m a little confused by all this.”

“Of course. It’s been very sudden.”

“So, uh…” Susie shifted in her seat as they came to a red light. “How long will I, you know, be here?”

“Hard to say.” Karst drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. “Longest a kid’s been with us is maybe six or seven months. Shortest was about two weeks. I’m sure someone will adopt you though, and in the meantime, we’re more than happy to have you.”

Susie nodded. It was just what she thought. They were fine with her, but they didn’t want her. She could stay with them, but only until someone adopted her. And who knew what would happen when someone did? She could move a lot farther than Amberbreach, which was an hour’s drive from Hometown.

“Hey, Susie? Someone will adopt you. Someone always does. I know it’s worrisome for a kid as old as you are, but things will work out.”

Of course, that wasn’t Susie’s concern at all. As far as she was concerned, there was only one family that she wanted to live with… “So, like… why couldn’t I stay with Toriel?”

Karst was quiet for a moment, then eventually answered. “Well, I don’t know her situation. But we had to go through a lot of thorough checks to be able to even foster children. It’s difficult to adopt, and maybe she wasn’t able to. And, well, it’s also a big responsibility. You said she’s a single mom, right? She probably has a lot on her plate.”

It wasn’t hard to read between the lines. She might not want Susie, is what he was saying. And that did resonate with her. Logically, she knew that had to be the case, but then she remembered a hand on her shoulder, and…

“Family is about more than where you’re born, Susie.”

She didn’t talk for the rest of the trip, and Karst gave her space. He was good about that. Everett, his husband, was a little more overbearing, though not in a bad way. And at the end of the day, they usually both gave Susie space when it was what she really needed.

The silence was preferable to the road the conversation had travelled down, but it did give Susie a lot of time to think. Thinking could be a bit of a mixed bag, since her thoughts weren’t always the best company. For the moment, she contemplated her new surroundings and the monsters who were watching over her.

Her foster parents were very well off. Karst was a programmer and worked from home, meaning he was always around to check in on Susie. Everett was a manager at a bank, and the two of them made more than enough money for themselves. They owned a large two-story house, and Susie had her own room that they said she was allowed to decorate however she liked.

Everett got off work a few hours after Susie got out of school, then he would come home in time for supper. The three of them ate meals prepared by Karst, or occasionally take out, and Susie usually just listened as they talked about their work, though they tried to include her.

During the only weekend she’d spent with them, they’d mostly been busy getting her into school. They did make some time to take her out to a movie, though. It was the first time since her father died that she’d been in a movie theater, and she’d enjoyed it. The two of them were really doing their best for her, and she appreciated that.

And it wasn’t just them. No one at school was afraid of her. No one hated her. Her peers tried to include her, and her teacher worked with her one on one to get her caught up with the rest of the class.

Things were good. They were so good. A few months ago, if Susie had been asked to make a list of everything that she would want out of life, this would still be better than whatever she came up with. But then…

Then she stepped into a supply closet with the weird quiet kid, and things were never the same. Then she met a young boy who wanted to be just like her. Then she got to be a hero, and she somehow learned that it was still only the second-best thing about the Dark World.

Then she met a girl who believed in her, not because she was a hero, but because she saw something that no one had ever seen. Then she learned that if she did things her own way, even school was something she could do. Then she met a woman who made her feel wanted for the first time in many years. Then she learned that she didn’t have to be a hero to have people care about her, she could just be herself, and that would somehow be enough.

A few months ago, this life would be better than anything she could have imagined. But then everything changed. Life became something strange, and unpredictable, and a little bit scary, but also beautiful, and exciting, and magical.

That was what Susie was thinking about as they pulled up to the house. It was a large blue house with a white picket fence. The smell of cut grass hung in the air, mixing with the sound of a lawnmower motor. A moment later, a kid a few years younger than Susie popped out with the mower from around a corner, waved at them, and then continued mowing.

Susie wasn’t sure who he was, but there was no sense in trying to ask about it with that motor drowning out any possible conversation, so she followed Karst inside.

“Want a drink, or something to snack on?” he asked in the living room.

“Uh, I guess I wouldn’t mind something…” Susie said. Karst sent her to school with a freshly packed lunch box every day, as well as a few dollars in case she wanted to buy herself a little something extra from the cafeteria. Still, her entire life up to this point had taught her not to turn down food when it was offered.

So she followed him into the kitchen and took a seat at a counter while he pulled out a bag of chips and some dip. Everett had made the dip for them, though he’d said it was mostly just mixing things from the store. Karst set the chips and dip down on the counter, and Susie tucked in while he got them each a can of soda.

“Uh, didn’t Everett say you aren’t supposed to have soda?” Susie asked.

Karst put a finger to his mouth. “Our secret.”

Susie smirked. “Yeah, okay.”

As the two of them shared the snack, Susie saw the kid pass by a window. “So uh, who’s that out there?”

“Oh, he lives down the street. We hired him to mow the lawn for us every other week. I wouldn’t mind doing it myself, but it’s a chance for him to have a little pocket money.”

“Oh, okay.” Susie grinned and decided to try a little joke. “Thought you guys might’ve picked up another kid while I was gone.”

Karst laughed. “Fostering two kids at once? Might be a bit much. Besides, we only have one spare bedroom, and who wants to share that?”

Yeah, who would want to share a bedroom with their best friend? Susie sipped on her soda.

“So, any homework yet?” Karst asked, completely unaware of what thoughts his offhand comment had brought up.

Susie shook her head. “No, not yet.”

“Make the most of this time, then.”

Susie wasn’t entirely sure how she was supposed to make the most of her time. Her friends were the best use of her time, but they were in another town…

Realizing that she didn’t really want to talk with Karst for the moment, Susie downed the rest of her soda. “I think I’m going to go work on drawing something.”

“Sounds like a good idea,” Karst said with a smile. “Would love to see it later.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Susie stood up and started to walk away, then caught herself. “Er, thank you. For, uhm, the snack and…”

Karst chuckled. “It’s fine, Susie. Enjoy your drawing.”

Susie nodded, then left the kitchen. She walked through the living room, then up the stairs. Her bedroom was down the hall to the left, and it was all hers.

It was pretty sparsely decorated at the moment, but Susie didn’t really care much about that. There was a desk with a computer on it, though she’d moved the keyboard to make room for the sketchbook that her foster parents had bought her when they found out she liked to draw.

She ignored it for the time being, instead collapsing on the bed. She pulled out her phone again, the only connection she had to Kris. They hadn’t messaged her again yet, but she didn’t wait for them.

‘what u doing?’

Kris messaged back, saying they were doing homework. On some level, Susie knew that meant she should leave them alone, but she really didn’t want to. ‘hows that going?’

They messaged back and forth about homework for a bit, until eventually Kris asked her how school was going in her new town. She had to sigh. ‘its all so fast here.. like dude slow down not all of us are eggheads’

‘That sucks.’

‘ya…. i miss studying with noelle’

The little popup thing said Kris was typing, then it went away, came back, and went away again. Susie frowned. ‘ur not still mad at her r u?’

The fact that it took a little while for Kris to respond said it all, really. ‘I don’t know.’

‘dude its fine she had her reasons’

Again, Kris was slow to respond. Susie hated it. They needed each other now more than ever. She wasn’t angry with Noelle, why couldn’t Kris just be there for their friend?

When Kris did answer, Susie’s eyes narrowed. She hadn’t seen it coming, but somehow, she wasn’t surprised. ‘I think her mom had something to do with it. I don’t think she wants Noelle being friends with you.’

 Susie frowned. There was something going on with Carol Holiday, she was sure of it. She just… she didn’t know what, or how to help. ‘she that bad?’

‘I never liked her. She said I made up my gender, it must really suck for Noelle.’

Susie was angry that anyone would say that about her friend, though she wasn’t really sure why that would suck more for Noelle than it did for Kris. She didn’t focus on that part. ‘is noelle gonna be ok with her?’

‘I don’t think her mom would hurt her, but… there’s something going on with Noelle you don’t know about, but I don’t think she wants me to tell you. It’s been hard on her, and I guess I think I know what her mom said that made her act that way towards you.’

Although it was hard to accept that she was the only one that wasn’t in the know, that wasn’t really what was important. Something was going on with Noelle and her mom, and Susie wasn’t there to help. And from the sound of it, no one else was, either.

Because no one could. She thought back to her own mom, when Nina would yell at her and treat her like a nuisance, and how much Susie had believed that. But what could anyone do? Susie hadn’t had anyone else in her life…

Susie’s eyes went wide as an idea occurred to her. ‘hey kris i gotta go ill text u later’

Without waiting for a reply, Susie opened the web browser on her phone. A notification popped up from Kris, but she ignored was too preoccupied to check it. When Susie’s dad died, there had been no one to look after her when her mom wouldn’t do it. There hadn’t been anyone in her life to keep her mom in check.

But Noelle wasn’t Susie… Sure, she couldn’t do anything for her friend, and really, neither could Kris or even Toriel. She needed someone else, and there was probably only one person who could actually manage to challenge Carol. She wasn’t sure if it would work, but she typed in her search online.

Hospitals in Amberbreach.

Chapter Text

Chapter Nineteen

On the Offensive

Noelle

Feeling like all eyes were on her was not a new feeling to Noelle. It had been the worst in middle school, when she started going to class in dresses. Back then, she was afraid someone would call her out on not being a ‘real’ girl, though no one ever did. Most of them probably didn’t know, but she’d become slightly less secretive about it as time went on, and still, people accepted her as a girl.

Today, however, would test that. As she walked through the hallway to class, she didn’t just feel like all eyes were on her – she knew they actually were. She kept her eyes on the ground as she hobbled through the hall, and she knew people gave her plenty of room for more than just the crutches.

That did just make the whole thing worse, though. There was no chance she could slip through unnoticed; having hooves, Noelle was never the quietest girl, but now each step was accentuated by a thud.

And it also limited her on what she could wear. She’d taken that for granted since it didn’t affect her wearing a dress, but now she was in baggy shorts – pants didn’t fit well over the cast. She felt so exposed, even though they covered more of her than her track shorts did. Completing her outfit, she wore a navy-blue polo shirt.

Which was bad enough without the short haircut… Finally, Carol Holiday’s daughter looked just like the respectable son she always wanted.

Noelle reached the classroom and pushed open the door, then kept her eyes down. It was early, and she was probably the first one in, but Ms. Alphys would be there…

Of course, avoiding eye contact wasn’t going to stop the teacher from speaking with her. “Good mor– Noelle!? What… I, er, you’re… trying a new look?”

Noelle wordlessly took her seat. She wasn’t even sure what she could say. It wasn’t that she wanted to cover for her mother, it was just… well, the teacher would probably be on her side…

“You, uhm. You look… nice? Er, short hair suits you!”

Noelle inhaled sharply. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

“Noelle…” Ms. Alphy’s voice softened as she stopped trying to make the most of the situation. “You know, you can talk to me about –”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Noelle continued to avoid looking at the teacher. A beat of silence passed between them.

“Uhm, okay…” The sound of claws tapping together alerted Noelle that Ms. Alphys was shifting nervously. “Well, let me know if you change your mind. I… I’m here for you, you know?”

Noelle gave a small nod. She thought that was it, then the door opened, and Noelle realized she would have to explain again. And again. And again. Everyone was going to want to know.

The person who came in walked over and put a hand on her shoulder. Noelle glanced to the side to see it was Catti, but she didn’t look in the other girl’s face.

“Who did this?” Catti asked.

Noelle shook her head. “It… it doesn’t matter.”

“Who?” Catti repeated.

“My mom.”

Catti’s grip tightened a little. “Revenge.”

“What?” Noelle forced herself to look into her friend’s eyes. Catti never really looked happy, but her glare was burning. “I… I’m sorry, I –”

“No. You shouldn’t be sorry.” Catti let go of Noelle’s shoulder, then she took her seat. “But she will be.”

Noelle wasn’t sure what Catti planned to do, and she was almost positive it wasn’t anything good, but she was just… just so tired. She put her head down.

One by one the class filled up. Jockington came in and started to compliment Noelle on her new look, until Catti told him not to. That went on for every student. Catti made sure Noelle didn’t have to talk to anyone, being her voice.

Eventually the seat next to her filled up. Noelle had no idea what to expect from Berdly, but he didn’t say anything. After a moment, Noelle’s curiosity got the better of her, and she looked up to see it wasn’t Berdly sitting next to her, it was Kris. They gave her a look of understanding, and Noelle bowed her head.

Kris reached over and put a hand on Noelle’s arm. They even gave her a small smile. They weren’t very good at it, but somehow, that just made Noelle appreciate the effort even more.

The door opened one more time, and Noelle turned away. For once, the student in the doorway seemed to notice something other than Noelle’s appearance. “What the heck, Kris?” Berdly said. “I’m a little late for once and you take my seat? Well, I’ll have you know that –”

He stopped short of having them know anything when he got a good look at Noelle. She blinked away tears. “Uhm, hi, Berdly…”

“I… I see.” Berdly cleared his throat. “I’ll just… take Kris’s seat.”

He walked into the room, but he lingered a moment when he got to Noelle. “You’re, uhm…”

Noelle winced. She’d never come out to Berdly. By the time they’d met in high school, Noelle was living fully as a girl, so there’d been no need. But now…

“I’m not going easy on you for this,” Berdly said, then he smiled a little. “After all, nothing’s going to stop the smartest girl around, right?”

Noelle couldn’t manage to keep from crying, not fully. She blinked and a few tears came out, and her voice was thick when she answered. “No, of course not.”

Berdly patted her on the shoulder, then walked to Kris’s desk.

School was, somehow, not as hard as Noelle had expected it would be. It was hard. It was overwhelming, and on one occasion she’d found herself crying in the bathroom. She hadn’t even wanted to go into the girls’ room, but Catti had gone in with her.

That was how it went, though. Her friends were always there. Catti watched over her protectively, Jockington tried his best to hype her up, Berdly was… well, he didn’t treat her too different from normal, but that turned out to be just what she wanted from him.

And Kris was always there. Ever since Susie had left, Kris and Noelle had been distant. Even after the moment they’d shared outside the class, things had been difficult with them. But now Kris was by her side again, and Noelle knew they understood.

So, school hadn’t been as bad as she’d been afraid it would be. But even if school had surprised her, she knew home wouldn’t. There would be no unexpected shows of support, no Kris, no Catti. It would just be Noelle and her mother.

But first, one more unknown. Noelle was walking with Kris to the parking lot, where she would see Toriel. Being the mother of her oldest friend, Toriel knew she was trans and had been nothing but supportive, but what would she have to say to this? Noelle was afraid she would try to bring it up with Carol, and that wouldn’t go over well…

Whatever was going to happen was going to happen, though. Even through the tint of the windshield, Noelle could make out Toriel’s stare. She kept her eyes down until they got to the car.

When they did, Kris helped Noelle in, like Susie had always done when she was around. Toriel turned around to address her.

“Hello, Noelle. Is everything alright?”

Noelle wasn’t sure what to say, but when they got into the front seat, Kris explained that her mom had done this.

“Carol did? But why would she…?”

“It’s, uhm… it’s because I stood up for Susie…”

She could feel both sets of eyes on her. She hadn’t mentioned that to Kris, who had just taken it as a given that this was something that Carol would do. After a moment, Toriel said, “I’m not sure I follow. Why does Carol care about Susie?”

Noelle pursed her mouth and squeezed her eyes shut. She just wanted to get home and deal with this herself. What was Toriel going to do? What was anyone going to do?

But… how many times had Noelle kept quiet, and where had it gotten her?

“Because… she doesn’t want me being friends with her, and… and she’s the reason you couldn’t adopt her!”

And just like that, the dam broke open and Noelle kept talking, telling them everything. About her deal with her mom, about her interference with Noelle and Susie’s friendship, about withholding her meds, and how everything got so much worse when her dad got sick, and then again when he left for Amberbreach.

Although she might’ve expected herself to cry going over those details, Noelle felt something stirring in herself. She knew the way her mom treated her was unfair, and for once, she didn’t want her mom to do better; she just wanted someone to know how horrible she was.

As she explained, Toriel started driving, but she still listened intently. Occasionally she would offer input, but for the most part, she simply listened. Noelle barely noticed how long the trip seemed to go on for, too caught up in her story.

“And then she wouldn’t even bring me to the barber shop to get my hair cut!” Noelle pulled at a strand of her uneven hair. “She said she didn’t want anyone to see me until I looked ‘presentable’, but I –”

Noelle stopped as she suddenly realized they were not going to her house. Toriel didn’t pay that any mind, however. “I’m sure what she doesn’t want anyone to see is how she’s treating you. She is up for reelection, you know.”

“I know, but, uhm…” Noelle frowned as they pulled up to a secondhand clothes store. “What are we doing here?”

“Well, you said that your mom got rid of your clothes. So I thought you might like some new ones. I know you won’t be able to have them at home, but we could keep them at our house, and Kris could bring them to you at school and… Oh dear, Noelle, there is no need to cry.”

Noelle couldn’t help it. Everyone was so caring towards her. Everyone else saw this was who she was, and that it should be celebrated. Everyone except her mom…

Noelle wiped her eyes, then followed Toriel and Kris into the store.

No one inside paid her any mind. They didn’t know her, although a few people greeted Toriel and Kris. It seemed that they were regulars there.

It made Noelle feel a little bad. Toriel and Kris weren’t poor, but she was a single mom on a teacher’s budget. She shouldn’t have to buy clothes for the mayor’s kid…

But then she saw something that caught her eye. “That’s my dress!” Noelle hobbled over to where she found not just one, but several of her holiday themed dresses. This must be where Carol had taken them.

“Well then, I suppose we can trust that they’ll fit.” Toriel collected them and put them in the shopping cart.

Noelle blinked. “You shouldn’t get all of them! I-I don’t need that many!”

“But they are yours, I’d like to keep them for you until you can wear them again…”

Noelle tried to talk Toriel out of it, but Toriel insisted. In the end, they collected six of Noelle’s old dresses, and Toriel brought them up to the counter to pay for them. Once she did, she turned towards Noelle. “Would you like to wear one of them out?”

“I… I would, but…”

“You know, you are welcome to come to our house. I could call your mother and let her know where you are. She doesn’t need to know anything else.”

It sounded perfect. Noelle wanted to agree, but…

But nothing. Noelle’s life was full of ‘but’, and she’d still wound up burned. Playing it safe didn’t work for her, so why not take a chance on this? Besides, what else could her mom possibly do to her?

“That sounds perfect,” Noelle said.

As she had predicted, the day was just what Noelle wanted it to be. She spent a couple hours with the Dreemurrs, and they played board games. It was nice to have her old clothes back, and aside from her hair, it really did feel like things were the same as always.

It was just a shame it couldn’t last. Toriel had suggested that Noelle stay the night, but she knew her mom would never allow it. She suspected she was barely allowed to go for the few hours as it was.

So, it had to come to an end. As much as she hated them, Noelle changed back into the clothes her mom had given her, and she left the house with Toriel and Kris. Under normal circumstances, there would be no reason to drive her a block away, but it would still be a while before she was out of the cast.

And they were just in time, too. Once they were in the car, Noelle’s text message tone went off. She checked it to see it was from her mom, asking her when she’d be home.

She frowned and replied, saying they were on their way out, then kept staring at her phone. No, not at her phone, not really. She was in a trance and not seeing anything at all. Soon she would be back home, and face to face with her mom…

But as she dwelled on that, she got a message from Kris asking her if they could borrow her notes from class again. That snapped her out of her head and made her smile a little. They always knew just what to say.

Rolling her eyes at the fact that they sent a text when they were in the same car, Noelle answered, “I’ll text you pictures of the notes when I’m home, Kris.”

They flashed a thumbs up, and Toriel smiled. “You know, I’m sure your mom would be more open to you visiting if you kids studied together.”

Noelle chuckled. “I don’t know, I thought she’d be happy about me studying with Susie, but I…” Noelle trailed off with a sigh. “I miss her.”

“I do too,” Toriel said. “I didn’t ever get the chance to get to know her as well as I would have liked, but she was a good girl.”

“Were you really going to adopt her?” Noelle asked.

Toriel was quiet for a moment before answering. “I was looking into that, yes. I thought it didn’t go through because I’m already a single mother, but…”

“But it was my mom…” Noelle bowed her head. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand why she has to ruin things for people.”

“You do not have to apologize for her,” Toriel said, then glanced away. “Though I’m not sure I’m going to be voting for her reelection, even if I’m not sold on the other candidate either.”

Noelle smiled a little. “I… think Kris’s dad would be a better mayor than my mom.”

With how short the drive was, they reached the house in a matter of moments. Carol’s car was already there, so Noelle would get no peace and quiet.

But there was still something on her mind. “Uhm, you don’t think people would vote for her if they knew how she really was, do you?”

The car pulled up to the gate, so Toriel turned around to look at Noelle. “I do not know. There are some people who think like her, but there are many more who know better. It is enough to say she would not like to take that chance.”

Noelle nodded and smiled. “Right. It’s… good to think that people wouldn’t want a mayor like that.”

Toriel gave her a suspicious look. “Noelle, are you…” She trailed off and shifted to a smile. “Never mind. You’re a smart girl, I know you’ll take care of yourself.”

For perhaps the first time in her life, Noelle thought she might do just that.

“Thank you for the ride.” Noelle opened her door and shimmied out, balancing on one leg as she got her crutches from the back. “And for everything else today.”

“You are quite welcome.”

They said their goodbyes, then Noelle made her way to the walk-in gate. She fished out her keys, opened it, then locked it again on the other side. After one last smile and wave, she made her way up to the front door and unlocked that as well.

Stepping inside, she first went to the living room. She sat down on the couch, pulled out her notes, and took pictures of each page. Better to get that out of the way, she figured.

Opening the messaging app, Noelle pressed the attachment button. She tapped the pictures, but before hitting send, she scrolled a little bit. Several of the recent pictures were of Susie, which made her smile but also made her heart hurt.

It wasn’t fair that things hadn’t gone better for Susie. She deserved so much, and Noelle had been able to give her so little. She scrolled through the pictures for a few minutes, then stopped at something that wasn’t a picture.

It was an audio file, and she wasn’t really sure what it was. She sent the notes to Kris, then decided to play it. Immediately she heard her own voice.

“Hi, Susie! I know you’ve been having trouble on this one, so I thought I’d make a recording of how to solve it! That way you can play it back whenever you want.”

Oh, right. Noelle had made that audio note for Susie before she knew Susie didn’t have a phone. She’d completely forgotten about it since then.

She drummed her fingers on the couch as she thought of her next move. She had finally given up hope that her mom might ever come around. Now she just wanted people to see what she was really like.

And… and maybe she could…

Noelle smiled, checked one more thing on her phone, then put it in her pocket. It was time to find her mom.

She wasn’t in the kitchen, so Noelle went upstairs. She had a home office up there, which was where she spent much of her time. And as expected, the door was open, and Noelle could see her mom from the hallway.

Taking a breath to try and calm her nerves, Noelle stepped forward.

“Uhm, Mom?” she said, causing Carol to look up.

“Hello,” she said. As always, she was neither friendly nor cold. Her tone was passive, and more than anything, she seemed tired. “Welcome home.”

It was hard. Harder than going to school had been. Noelle knew what needed to say, but the words were barbed; they clung to her throat and were painful to force out.

But she had to try. “I, uhm, school was… interesting.”

“I suppose it must’ve been.”

What was she thinking? Did she have sympathy for the child she would never see as her daughter? Did she think Noelle deserved this? It was impossible to say.

Noelle wasn’t sure she wanted to know, anyway. She pressed on. “All of my friends… They still care about me.”

Carol smiled a little. “Of course they do.”

“They still know I’m really a girl.”

Carol’s smile fell away and her eye twitched. “We’re done with this.”

“No. Whether you see it or not, I am a girl. Other people can see that, and they accept me the way I am!”

“Other people indulge you. You are not a girl, and soon everyone will see that. Once those damn pills are out of your system.”

Noelle suspected that her mom had no idea how HRT worked, but she wasn’t going to argue a moot point. She was more interested in getting to the heart of the matter. “What do you think is going to happen in a few years? You think I’m not just going to go back on hormones and live as a woman when you can’t stop me anymore?”

Carol’s eyes narrowed. “Not if you want to be part of this family, you won’t. And if this delusion matters more to you than family does, then think about who’s going to pay for college. What kind of life do you expect to have on your own?”

“So, what? I live as a boy, or you don’t even want me!?” Noelle shifted on her crutches. “What do you think Dad will say when he finds out?”

“Your Dad will see that I’m doing what’s right for our son. You don’t think he really wants this… this thing for you!? He’s just too soft to stop you himself.”

Although she knew it wasn’t true, Noelle still felt her chest tighten. The idea that her dad might not actually accept her…

No. No! It wasn’t true! Her dad loved her exactly as she was, and she knew that! “If that was true, you wouldn’t have waited until he was away from Hometown to do this! You know he wouldn’t stand for this, you just hope you can brainwash me before he comes back, and –” Noelle’s words caught in her throat, as what she was saying was unthinkable. Still, she forced it out. “You probably hope he won’t come back at all.”

“What?” Carol stood up and slammed a hand on the table. “How dare you!? I know you’re not happy with me, but everything I do is for this family, Nicholas!”

“My name is Noelle!”

“I named you, you don’t get to just throw that away!”

“And you don’t get to tell me who I am! Besides, Dad was the one who named me Noelle anyway, when you refused to!”

“Damn it, Nicholas, listen to yourself!” Carol gestured wildly at Noelle. “You never used to act this way! You were a good kid, even if you were mixed up with all this tranny stuff! What did that purple girl do to you?”

“Susie?” Sure, why not talk about Susie while they were at it. “Susie did do something to me. She taught me that I’m worth sticking up for. That I’m a good person with or without your approval.”

“Tch. You think yelling at your mother makes you a good person?”

“I think standing up for myself is important. And that if you really loved me, I wouldn’t have to stand up for myself from you. You think it’s so bad for me to look out for myself for once? Well, what’s it say about you that I had to?”

“It says I’ve been far too easy on you. So new arrangement. I’m picking you up from school from now on, I’ll go on my lunch break. There won’t be any more trips to your friends’ houses, you won’t even have time for friends. In fact, I think it’s time you go back to private school, where they won’t put up with this crap.”

Noelle stared wide-eyed. She hadn’t counted on that. Hadn’t thought there was anything else her mom could take from her.

And somehow, Carol wasn’t done kicking her daughter while she was down. “You know, there’s an all-boys charter school not too far from here. I think you’d learn a thing or two over there.”

“No, I –” Noelle forced herself to stop. She was not going to cave. “I’m not the one turning my back on family. You are. Do you hear yourself? You… you…”

“That’s enough, Nicholas.”

“Do you like making people miserable? You’re losing your daughter just because she won’t be your son! You sent Susie away when she didn’t do anything to you, Toriel was going to adopt her and you –”

“I told you, I did Toriel a favor. I did this whole town a favor by getting her out of here. Let her be someone else’s problem.”

Noelle shook her head in disgust. “I bet it wasn’t even legal, whatever you did.”

“That’s not your concern.”

Noelle’s eyes narrowed, and she knew she hit the right mark. “It wasn’t, was it? What would people say if they knew the mayor illegally stopped an upstanding citizen from adopting a child in need?”

“People will never find out about that,” Carol said sharply. “Even if you tried to say something, I’m the one they’ll listen to. You’re just a child, no one would believe you.”

“If people knew how you really are…”

“We’re done with this conversation. Go to your room, I need to look into how to transfer your school.”

Noelle gave a mirthless laugh. “Yeah, make me someone else’s problem too.”

Without another word, she left the room. Her head rattled with what had just happened, and what was to come. An all-boys charter school? What would they do to someone like Noelle there? She didn’t ever want to find out, and yet, that might be what was in store for her…

She got to her room and closed the door, then sank to the floor gracelessly. She leaned her head back too quickly, thudding against the door. It pulled her out of her thoughts just a bit, but she was right back to them.

She wanted to call her dad. She wanted him to stop her mom. But she wasn’t sure what he could even do, and besides, Noelle wasn’t so helpless on her own after all.

She pulled out her phone and hit the stop button on the recording. She hit play. The first minute or so was just her going upstairs, so she skipped to a random part towards the end.

“–say something. I’m the one they’ll listen to. You’re just a child, no one would believe you.”

 Noelle was so overcome with relief that she started sobbing. If it hadn’t worked… if it hadn’t recorded clearly… she’d risked everything for this…

But it had worked. It worked, and now her mom was wrong. People would believe her. They were going to learn exactly what kind of person Carol Holiday truly was.

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty

Fathers and Daughters

Susie

There were so many differences between Hometown and Amberbreach, but most of them boiled down to Amberbreach being much bigger. There were more people, bigger buildings, and things that Susie expected there to only be one of – like a hospital – had multiple throughout the city.

Susie had been considering that for days. She wasn’t really good with computers and stuff, but as far she could tell, there was no way to tell who was in which hospital. Noelle would know, obviously, but Susie and Noelle hadn’t left off on speaking terms, and she wasn’t even sure if Kris was speaking with the deer girl after what had happened.

That was another problem. There was so much going on, and Susie wasn’t around to do anything. Which was why it was so important that she figure out where Noelle’s dad was staying, since that was something she could do. For all she knew, Rudy was ten minutes away from her, and she still couldn’t see him!

It was frustrating, and Susie found herself uncharacteristically moving her dinner around instead of eating it. It was meatloaf and Susie liked it a lot, but her mind was just not with her at the dinner table.

It didn’t go unnoticed. “Everything okay, Susie?” Everett asked. Of the two foster parents, he was the more doting. Karst usually gave Susie space, but Everett was always checking in on her.

Susie smiled sheepishly. “Oh, yeah, things are good. And, uh, I really like the meatloaf!”

“I think Susie’s just got a lot of changes going on,” Karst said. As an elemental monster, Karst didn’t get much sustenance from regular food, though he liked to eat it for the flavor. For the most part, his plate was full of various rocks and even gemstones. Everett said if someone ever cracked him open, he would be a geode inside because of all the gemstones, and Susie wasn’t sure if that was a joke or not.

Meanwhile, Everett was… well, Susie didn’t know what he was. He wore a blueish-grey cloak that Susie couldn’t see inside of, though he had long arms with pale skin. He used them to cut his meatloaf into a piece that looked too large for one bite, then it disappeared into the hood. He seemed to primarily eat meat.

Everett’s wispy voice fit in with his appearance, but his words were always kind. “As long as you know you can always talk to us. We know it’s tough, but we do want you to feel comfortable here.”

“I know.” Susie cut a piece of meatloaf for herself and ate it, eager to show that they shouldn’t worry about her.

“It’s Saturday tomorrow,” Everett said. “Did you have anything you’d like to do? The city has many things to do for fun.”

“I don’t know.” That wasn’t true. Susie knew exactly what she wanted to do with her weekend, but…

“She won’t know what there is to do in the city, hon,” Karst said, then he turned to face Susie. “We could make some suggestions, if you’d like. There are art museums, a bowling alley, a few shopping malls, and even an amusement park.” He said the last one with a notable inflection, as if he suspected Susie would go crazy over the idea.

And to be fair, it did sound fun. But fun wasn’t really what Susie was after. “Actually…” Susie made a quick decision. Karst and Everett seemed like good people, and they probably knew how this stuff worked better. “I do have something I wanna do.”

“What might that be?” Everett asked.

“I… well, there’s someone here in Amberbreach that I want to find.” Susie looked down at her plate and wondered if this was a stupid idea. What if they tried to talk her out of it? They might think Susie needed to put her past friends behind her.

“Is this a friend?” Everett asked.

Okay, so he wasn’t immediately shooting it down, but there was still a lot to be seen. “It’s, uhm, actually it’s a friend’s dad. He’s sick, and the hospital in Hometown couldn’t take care of him.”

Karst and Everett looked at each other, then back at Susie. “It’s a great idea,” Karst said with what passed for a smile from a rock elemental. “Do you know what hospital he’s in?”

“No,” Susie said, feeling dumb. “I guess I thought, I don’t know, maybe you two could help?”

“Of course we will,” Everett said with no hesitation. “We’ll make calls in the morning.”

Oh, right, calling the hospitals. Why hadn’t Susie thought of that…? “Thanks, I…” She scratched at her head. “Well, it’s just important that I talk to him.”

“Is there something wrong with your friend?” Karst asked.

Susie hesitated. She didn’t want to spill Noelle’s secrets, but then… what were two people in a whole other city going to do? “Yeah, her mom’s really being a – uh, she’s not taking care of her.”

“Hmm… You think her father would take better care of her?” Everett asked.

Susie looked down at her plate. She didn’t really know when it got down to it. But she did know one thing. “Noelle talks about him like he’s just a really great guy. So, I dunno, I think he should at least know what’s going on.”

Karst reached over and placed a rocky hand on Susie’s. “You’re right. We’ll make sure he knows.”

“This Noelle is very lucky to have a friend like you.” Of course, it was impossible to tell if Everett was smiling, but Susie got the feeling that he was.

“You don’t talk as much about her as you do about Kris,” Karst said.

“Yeah, we… uh, actually before I left, she said she didn’t want to be friends anymore.” Susie pushed around the remnants of her meatloaf, idly wondering if she was ever going to get to finish it with all the talking.

“Really? How come?” Karst asked.

“She said it was because she wanted more time to focus on her studies, but then Kris said it’s because of her mom. I dunno why her mom cares about us being friends, I don’t think Kris really wanted to explain everything.”

“A sweet girl like you?” Karst asked doubtfully. “Are you sure?”

Susie shrugged. “I dunno, that’s what Kris said. But she’s really strict and Noelle never wanted us to be around when she was home, so I guess I do think that might be true.”

Everett’s hands appeared from under his robes, and he folded them in front of him. “Susie, are you sure about this? If you’re wrong about her father, then telling him might make things worse for your friend.”

Susie frowned. She hadn’t really thought of that. But… But she thought back to the way Noelle would light up when she talked about him, and the way that she would spend every spare moment at the hospital visiting, and how devastated she was when he went to Amberbreach.

She looked up. “I’m sure. I need to talk to him.”

For a moment, neither of the foster parents spoke. Then Everett nodded. “We’ll find out where he is, then we’ll bring you there in the morning.”

“Thank you,” Susie said. She wasn’t sure that those were the right words, but she couldn’t figure out what else to say.

“Don’t mention it,” Karst said. “But let’s leave that for tomorrow then, shall we? You still have to finish your dinner, unless you’re no longer hungry.”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” Susie grinned, happy for the chance to go back to her food. She finished it without another pause. Karst was right; save the worries for the morning and focus on dinner now.

She couldn’t quite silence the fear that somehow things would still go wrong, but she was starting to learn that maybe some adults really did want the best for her. That thought gave her pause, but she just pulled her jacket a little tighter, and she pushed that aside as well.

It took a few calls, but Karst eventually found out what hospital Rudy was staying in. Since they didn’t have work over the weekend, both of the foster parents went with her, but they gave her privacy by staying in the waiting room while she went up to see Rudy.

She reached the room she was told would be his and stared at it in silence, gripping her sketchbook tighter. This conversation meant everything. If she blew this, then there was no telling what would happen to Noelle…

Gah, why couldn’t it be Kris? They always know what to say…

But it wasn’t Kris. Susie would have to do, so she steeled her nerves, then knocked.

“Lunch already? Great, I’m starving!” a voice called through the door. “Come on in!”

Susie opened the door and found herself face to face with a monster who could only be Noelle’s dad. Even if she hadn’t seen pictures of him when he was drawing him for Noelle, there could be no doubt about who he was. He was a reindeer like his wife and daughter, with reddish brown fur and deep black hair.

He didn’t seem surprised to see a stranger, just showing her a crooked grin. “Think you might have the wrong room here, kid.”

“Uh, no, I don’t think so.” Susie walked in a little further, but opted to remain standing, not wanting to invite herself too far into what counted as his space. “You’re Rudolph Holiday, right?”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m told. Can’t say I know who you are, though.”

“My name’s Susie, I’m a friend of…” Susie got distracted by the way his grin grew once he heard her name.

“Susie, huh?” Rudy stroked his goatee and seemed to be studying her. “I see. Well, pleasure to finally meet you. Come on in and take a seat!”

“Uh, thanks?” Susie sat down, though she was still perplexed by his reaction. It was definitely a lot different than Carol’s had been…

“So you’re the one my little girl keeps talking about, huh?” Rudy winked. “Come to get her old man’s blessing, then?”

Susie blinked, having no idea what he was talking about. “Noelle told you about me?”

“Sure, she did! It was getting her to stop that was the hard part.” Rudy laughed then shrugged. “Eh, I kid. She calls me pretty much every day, has to talk about something. I heard she was tutoring you.”

“Oh. Yeah, that makes sense. Uh, yeah, she did a really good job, I started passing my classes and everything.”

“Ah, that’s my girl! It’s good she was able to help you.” Rudy cocked his head to the side. “And you know, I’m glad to finally meet you. But what the heck are you doin’ all the way out here? Carol said they can’t come this weekend, so I know you didn’t come with them.”

“Uh, no, the truth is…” Susie sighed. “I… kinda moved out here. When, uhm, when my mom got arrested.”

“Oh, damn…” Rudy’s smile fell away. “You doin’ okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good. I’m staying with a foster family, and… well, I don’t know what’s going to happen next, but they’re nice. They helped me find you.”

Rudy nodded, then smiled a little. His face looked like a smile just belonged on it, like it was just a normal part of his appearance. “Shame to hear that. I know Noelle thinks a lot of you, too bad you couldn’t get a family in Hometown.”

Susie thought of Toriel, but she pushed that aside. She hadn’t come to see Rudy to get him to help with her problems, after all. “Yeah, I miss Noelle and Kris a lot.”

“Oh right, she said you’re friends with ol’ Krismas. How’re they doing these days?”

“They’re good. I text them a lot.”

“Good, good. It’s nice to keep in touch. And hey, maybe you kids can get back in touch in college. Got a nice one just half an hour out of Hometown, you know.”

Susie laughed a little. “I don’t think I could go to college. I’m not, uh…” She stopped before saying she wasn’t smart, thinking of how Noelle would chide her for saying something like that. “I’m not good at school. Uhm, Noelle says she thinks it’s something called ADHD.”

“That must make it tough. Got other plans?”

“I don’t know. I’m, uh, I’m kinda good at drawing. Oh, uh, here!” Susie opened her sketchbook and pulled out a page, which she handed to Rudy.

He took it and admired the drawing. “You drew this?”

“Yeah. I thought you might, uh, like it?”

It was a picture of Noelle, smiling warmly and waving. Rudy grinned. “She’s as beautiful as ever. Just like her mom.”

The reminder of Noelle’s mom chased away any good feelings Susie might have had at his reaction to the drawing. “Actually, uhm… I wanted to talk to you about Noelle’s mom.”

Rudy set the picture down. “Uh-oh. That don’t sound so good.”

Susie ran a hand through her hair. She had gotten out of the habit of hiding behind it, but this time, she left it in front of her eyes. “Yeah, it’s… not…”

Rudy took a deep breath. “Alright, so what happened.”

“Well, uhm…” It suddenly felt dumb to tell him about Carol not wanting Susie and Noelle to be friends. But if not that, then what? She didn’t even know what was going on…

But she had to try. “I think… she’s not taking care of Noelle very well. She, uhm… I think Noelle is kind of… scared of her.”

Rudy looked away from her. “I don’t think you’re wrong. But that’s the thing with Noelle, yeah? She’s scared of everything.”

Susie shook her head slowly. “Actually, Noelle’s really tough. Maybe too tough. She won’t ask for help.” Susie felt at the edge of her jacket. “I… I know what that’s like. My mom, she was pretty bad. And I never told anyone because… I didn’t think anyone would care. And I felt like… like I was weak if I talked about it.”

Rudy turned back to Susie. “I’m sure Noelle knows I’d trust her if she said something was wrong.”

“Maybe she does, but… But Noelle wouldn’t tell me, or Kris, or anyone. She makes really dumb excuses for her mom, she doesn’t do things outside of school anymore, she won’t let anyone over in case her mom is around.”

“She said that?”

“She didn’t have to. I can tell, because I was the same way.”

Rudy picked up the picture again, studying his daughter’s image in it. “But why would she hide something like this from me?”

“I think she probably doesn’t want people to worry. Like I said, she’s too tough, she wants to take care of it herself. And…” Susie looked over at Rudy, in his hospital bed with an IV drip hooked up to his arm. “I mean, that probably goes for you more than anyone else.”

“I guess…” Rudy was clearly thinking on the words, but it was also clear he wasn’t really sure what to make of them.

Susie tried another tactic. “I was actually thinking of that last night. So like… my dad died when I was little. But when he was alive, he was the only one I ever thought understood me. I… I wanted to do anything I could for him, you know? And Noelle, she feels the same way about you. And that means sometimes maybe not doing something that’s good for her because she thinks it’d be bad for you.”

“But why would it be –”

“Dude, you’re in the hospital?” Susie shook her head and gestured to a framed picture of Rudy, Carol, and Noelle. “And she’s your wife? It’s not like it’s hard to figure out why Noelle doesn’t want to tell you.”

Rudy closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them as he turned to face Susie. “Okay, important question. Has Noelle ever said anything about her mom… I don’t know, keeping her from being herself?”

Susie thought about that. “I don’t think so.”

“Nothing about any medications?”

Susie shook her head. “I didn’t even know Noelle had medications.”

“Right. Course not.” Rudy closed his eyes again. “I think I’m going to have to talk to Noelle. And Carol, but first, I think I’ll get Noelle’s side of the story if I can. I… I dunno if she’ll tell me. Maybe you can find out a little more?”

“I wish I could, but her mom doesn’t want us to talk anymore.”

“She what?” Rudy opened his eyes and furrowed his brow. “Why not?”

Susie shrugged. “Man, everyone keeps asking me, and I have no freaking clue. Kris said so, lemme see if they said anything else.”

Susie fished her phone from her pocket and checked her messages. “No, they just said ‘I think her mom had something to do with it. I don’t think she wants Noelle being friends with you.’ Then I asked if she’s that bad, and Kris said they never liked her, and that her mom doesn’t like them being nonbinary. I don’t know what that has to do with Noelle, though.”

Rudy huffed. “No, I know.” Somehow, he still managed a small smile. “Hey, Susie? Thanks for telling me about this.”

“Of course. You’re, uhm… You’re gonna look after Noelle, right?”

“Course I am. I’m her dad, aren’t I?”

Susie smiled. “She’s lucky to have a dad like you. Mine went and got himself killed in a bar fight after he spent my whole life getting on me about fighting. How dumb, right?”

Rudy rolled his eyes. “Good parents aren’t always perfect people, Susie. I think he just wanted you to be a better person than he was.”

Susie pulled her jacket closer. “Maybe.”

“You know, I was a house husband before I got sick. Used to play football back in college, hurt my back, couldn’t play no more. Never had the brains, so I dropped out. But I still want Noelle to go as far as she can go. Trust me, nothing makes a parent happier than seeing their kid live a better life than what they had.”

Susie bowed her head. “I, uhm…” She forced a laugh and looked up. “Well, it doesn’t really matter anyway, huh? Dead’s dead and all that.”

Rudy studied her closely. “I dunno, I think it might matter to you more than you wanna admit. What was that about knowing how Noelle feels with suffering in silence?”

Susie didn’t say anything.

“I dunno what you believe in, but if there’s an afterlife out there, I bet your pop’s looking down on what you did today beaming. I bet he’s as proud as any father’s ever been of his daughter, and as a father who’s plenty proud of his own daughter, trust me that that’s a lot.”

Susie closed her eyes and pictured her father’s smiling face.

“You wanna talk about him?”

In the years since he’d died, Susie had avoided talking about her father. She didn’t feel like Rudy was going to force her to. She could just say no, excuse herself, and go back to Karst and Everett.

Instead, she brushed the hair out of her eyes, and she took the chance. “His name was Adrian.”

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty-One

The Fire of Determination

Noelle

“Noelle… is there something going on that you’re not telling me?”

“I… I don’t know what you mean, Dad.”

“Your friend came to visit. Susie.”

“Susie did!? You… you met Susie?”

“Yeah, and she’s worried about you. She said Kris is too. She said… she thinks your ma isn’t looking after you right.”

“...”

“Noelle?”

“I… I’m fine, Dad. I just… well, you know, Mom is… she’s not you, but… but she’s…”

“Sweetie, this is important. You know you can tell me anything. Just say the word and I’ll –”

“You’ll what, Dad? You’ll come back and let yourself die because you want to take care of me? You think I want that?”

“No, I just… Noelle, what’s gotten into you?”

“I… I’m not so helpless anymore, Dad. I can take care of myself, just… just give me a little time.”

“…What do you need to take care of yourself from? You know, that’s not your job, me and your mom –”

“I, uhm, I have to go. I’ve got… homework…”

“Oh. Are you sure? I mean, I just worry, you know?”

“I know, but I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll, er, I’ll call tomorrow then.”

“Yeah. Talk to you then. Love you, Dad.”

“Love you too, sweetie. Always.”

There wasn’t much time. No time to think about what she was doing, or what would happen to her later. Noelle had spent all night awake with this plan, and she’d decided she had to do it. There was no telling what would happen, but from the sound of things, her mom was already determined to make her life hell one way or another. She might as well do something about it.

“Hello?” Toriel said through the phone.

“Hi, Ms. Dreemurr. It’s Noelle. I, uhm, I need a favor…”

Noelle explained the details of what she was doing and why it was urgent, and Toriel agreed to hurry over. Noelle hung up the phone and looked at the time. She was already dressed – in what constituted as ‘dressed’ by her mother’s standards, of course – so there wasn’t much to do but wait.

She decided to wait outside. It was hard to get around, so if she was ready and waiting on the other side of the gate then she could speed things up a little.

That was important. Carol was back at work, but she’d only be there for a few more hours. She’d stuck to her word, driving Noelle home from school every day since their fight, and then she’d rush back out to her job to finish the day. No doubt she thought Noelle would never dare leave the house without her permission, and she never would have before.

It was just now. After everything that happened, after that phone call with her dad, everything was so much different now.

Because he was going to talk to her mom. There was no way he wouldn’t, not after Noelle couldn’t bring herself to tell him that Susie was wrong. She could no longer stand up for her mother, but that meant if Noelle wasn’t giving her father the answers he was after…

Well, before Carol could do anything else, Noelle would act. She felt her pockets for her phone, and she waited for Toriel to show up.

It didn’t take too long. Toriel came by in a hurry, and it seemed she came alone. Since Kris wasn’t there, Noelle took the front seat. Once she was in and buckled up, Toriel began driving. “You are sure that this is the best thing to do?”

Noelle wasn’t sure, not really. She had no idea what would happen after this, but… but she knew she had to try. “Yes. I have to do this. She can’t just get away with what she did.”

Toriel nodded. “You know, I will help in any way that I can. You have been Kris’s friend for so long, you’re a part of this family.”

Noelle smiled. “Thank you.”

She looked out the window as they drove. It wasn’t far, but it would be difficult to hobble all the way to the police station on crutches. “And thank you for driving me.”

“Think nothing of it. I’m sorry Kris couldn’t join us today. They said they had somewhere to go, though they didn’t tell me where.”

Noelle nodded. It would’ve been nice to have Kris with them, but she couldn’t expect much when she hadn’t given anyone any forewarning.

Toriel soon pulled up to the station, so Noelle got out awkwardly, then she started to hobble to the building.

“Wait just a moment,” Toriel said, coming around the car. She held out a pink cardigan sweater. “I’m sure it’s not really your style, but since we are in a hurry, better something than nothing.”

Noelle smiled and put it on. As it was Toriel’s, it was far too big for her, but she felt much more comfortable in that. “Thank you.”

“You are quite welcome. Now, let us go present your case.”

Toriel held open the door for Noelle, who made her way into the station. There weren’t many police officers in Hometown, and only one was present. Officer Undyne gave her a strange look. “Wait a second, aren’t you Rudy’s girl? I mean, no mistaking a Holiday, but…”

“Uhm, yeah, I am…”

Toriel walked in and placed an arm around Noelle’s shoulder. “Noelle has something we think you should hear.”

Undyne grinned and gestured to the seats in front of her. “Great! Well, come on in then. I’m bored stiff here, could use the excitement!”

Noelle and Toriel both took a seat, and Noelle pulled out her phone. “It’s, uhm, well here…”

The first minute or so was just Noelle walking up the stairs, so she skipped past that. She cringed when she heard her voice. “Uhm, Mom?”

As they played back the recording, Noelle was shocked by it. She hadn’t managed to listen to it yet, too afraid of what was on there. And now that she was…

It wasn’t her mom that was shocking, it was herself. What had happened to her? Where did all this fire come from? She never could have done something like this even just a few months ago.

For her part, Undyne listened intently without giving away what she thought. But Toriel couldn’t be any clearer. She kept casting Noelle worried looks, and she took hold of her hand protectively.

When it was finished, it was Toriel who spoke first. “Oh, you poor thing. I can’t believe what that woman put you through…”

“I’m okay,” Noelle said, surprising herself with how even her voice was. She addressed Undyne next. “Is there anything you can do?”

The police officer sighed. “I hope you don’t expect a miracle, kid. Don’t get me wrong, I feel for you. No one should have to go through what your mom is putting you through. Can’t imagine what that’s like. But you know, there’s no law that says she has to accept who you are.”

Noelle bowed her head.

“I will get in touch with the charter school,” Toriel said. “I can’t stop her from enrolling you into another school, but I do not believe a boy’s school would want to take a girl. If Alphys and I explain the situation, I do believe we’ll have enough credibility to get them to deny your admission.”

“And I can do something with this.” Undyne grinned. “Tampering with a perfectly legal adoption process? Oh, Carol screwed herself big on this one!”

Noelle blinked. “Does that mean Susie will be able to come back?”

“I don’t have any authority there,” Undyne said with a straight face. Then she grinned again and gave a wink. “But if someone in this town wanted to adopt her, I can’t see any reason why they couldn’t.”

“That is wonderful news…” Toriel frowned and cast Noelle a sad look. “But if we did something like that, then Noelle would be in danger…”

“No, do it!” Noelle leaned forward. “Whatever you can do! Get Susie back, and don’t let my mom get away with this!”

“Heh, I thought you might say that. You got that Holiday spirit, alright.”

The only one who didn’t seem convinced was Toriel. “Are you sure this is wise? Susie is staying with a nice family that is taking good care of her. You’re the one at risk here, Noelle.”

“I know, but…” Noelle looked up at Toriel with a pleading look. She needed to do this. Susie needed her, and for once, Noelle was going to be strong.

Undyne cleared her throat. “You know, your mom’s up for re-election this year.”

Noelle turned back towards the officer. “I know. That’s why I wanted to do this, make sure people know what she’s like.”

Undyne laughed. “Kid, you don’t know much about politics, do you? I’ll do what I can, but we’re in for a hell of a battle here. She’s the mayor, she has a lot of power in this town. I can’t promise she won’t sweep all this under the rug somehow. But you know, how she treats you… people won’t like that. It might not be illegal, but that doesn’t mean it can’t hurt her.”

Noelle looked down at her phone. “You mean I should share the recording.”

“I mean you should do what you want with it. But, you know, if Asgore got a hold of that…”

Toriel frowned. “I do not think Asgore would run a smear campaign.”

Undyne laughed again. “Normally, no. But if he heard that? Oh man, you were married to him, you have to know he’s got a nasty side. But anyway, I’m not telling you to give it to him. I’m just saying, you know, if she thinks you might… Well, it’s just a useful tool is all.”

Noelle’s eyes went wide. “You mean blackmail her?”

Undyne waved her hands. “Hey now, blackmail sounds pretty illegal. No way I’d give you that idea. But also yes, blackmail the bitch. You just, uh, you didn’t get the idea from me is all!”

When Noelle didn’t answer, Toriel spoke for her. “This is a lot to think about. For now, I think we should get Noelle back before her mom realizes she was missing.”

“Yeah alright. Here, send me a copy of that recording. Your mom’s gonna freak out and try to erase it from your phone, you know.”

That was probably true, so Noelle sent a copy of the recording to Undyne. For good measure, she sent a copy to Kris as well, since they’d be able to send it back to her if she ever needed it.

Once Undyne confirmed she had a copy of the recording, she escorted Toriel and Noelle out of the station. She wished Noelle luck, then sent them on their way. Although she was getting the hang of getting in and out of cars, Toriel still helped Noelle into the front seat.

Once they were both in, Toriel started the engine. “Now, let’s get you home, shall we?”

“Yeah…” Noelle said. She was still staring down at her phone.

“I know what Undyne said, but you know, you really do not have to do something so drastic. I’m sure we can make things work another way.”

Noelle didn’t answer right away. She kept looking at the phone, thinking of the power she had. If she used this to blackmail her mom, then she could get her to do anything. She wouldn’t be able to neglect Noelle anymore, or make her pretend to be a boy, or withhold her meds, or anything like that.

And no one would ever know what had happened. Her mom would find some way to sweep it all under the rug, just like Undyne said.

Suddenly, Noelle looked up. “I don’t want to blackmail my mom.”

Toriel smiled. “Of course you don’t. You –”

“I want to give the recording to Asgore.”

Toriel’s smile fell away. “You want to give it to Asgore?”

“If he spreads the word about what happened, then my mom won’t be able to hide it. She’ll lose the election, she won’t have any power over Susie anymore, and –”

“And what about you?” Toriel cast Noelle a worried glance. “You heard Undyne, there’s no legal protection for you.”

“I’ve lived with my mom all my life; I know how to handle her. But I’m not going sit by and let her bully people anymore! Please, can we go see Asgore now? I might not get another chance.”

“But your mom will notice you are gone…”

Noelle shook her head. “I don’t care. I need to stop her. I need to make sure she can’t hurt anyone else anymore!”

Toriel considered Noelle for a moment, then turned towards Asgore’s flower shop.

They didn’t speak as they drove, which Noelle thought might be for the best. She didn’t have it in her to keep this up, she knew, so she had to save as much of her fire as she could for Asgore.

When Noelle lifted a hand, she saw it was shaking. She clutched it to her chest and closed her eyes, focusing on breathing for the rest of the drive.

“We’re here,” Toriel announced as she pulled to a stop.

Noelle opened her eyes and saw the sight of Asgore’s flower shop. She steeled her nerves, then got out of the car.

Toriel did not look pleased to be there, but she held the door open for Noelle all the same. She hobbled inside, and a voice called from upstairs, “Be right down!”

Toriel sighed and stepped inside, letting the door close behind her. The store was fragrant with all the different flowers, which were beautifully arranged. Noelle realized she’d barely been to the shop despite having known Asgore since she was little.

After a moment, Asgore stepped downstairs and went wide-eyed at the sight of his ex-wife.

“Tori! What are you doing here?”

“Do not call me that,” Toriel snapped. “And I did not come to see you, Asgore. Noelle did.”

Asgore seemed to notice Noelle for the first time, and he scrunched up his face at the sight of her. “Noelle? But why are you…?”

“Because of my mom.” Noelle pulled out her phone. “That’s why we’re here. I… I have something that will help your campaign.”

“Help me?” It seemed every word of the conversation only served to make Asgore more confused. “But why would you do that? And what do you mean your mom did this?”

“Perhaps we could sit down and discuss that?” Toriel said.

“Yes, of course. Here, come upstairs.” Asgore noticed the crutches and thought better of it. “Er, I mean, I’ll bring down some chairs.”

While Asgore disappeared upstairs, Noelle turned to Toriel. “I’m sorry to make you come here. You can wait outside if you want, I won’t be long.”

Toriel sighed. “You are right that I do not want to be here. But remember what I said, Noelle; you are part of our family. And I will stand beside my family.”

Noelle looked down and thought about that. Family. That was important, and yet, that was exactly what Noelle was trying to destroy. “Is it really okay to do this to my own mom?”

“Family is… complicated. What you are doing, you are doing because your mother has driven you to do so. You are not the one who fractured your family, she is.”

Noelle nodded, and Asgore soon returned with chairs. He set them beside the row of refrigerators with flowers in them, and everyone took a seat.

“Now then, what is going on here?”

Noelle pulled the audio file up on her phone. “I think you should know what my mom is really like. I… I want everyone to know what she’s like.”

As Noelle played the file, Asgore’s expression shifted. It was different from Toriel. She had grown concerned for Noelle’s wellbeing, thinking first and foremost of what could be done to ease her pain.

But Asgore? He grew angry. Angrier than Noelle had ever seen him, angry at the injustice of the situation. But there was something else there. Something like the fire Noelle had felt when she decided to come forward with this, but seeing it from the outside, Noelle realized it was actually something else.

Listening to the audio, hearing how horrible Carol was to her daughter, it seemed to fill Asgore with determination.

By the time it finished, his hands had balled into fists. He rose to his feet and turned his back on the others, staring into the flowers. “Has she always been like this?”

“She’s been getting worse,” Noelle said. “But she’s never approved of me being a girl.”

Asgore cast his eyes down for a moment, then turned around and held his head high. “I had wanted to run a clean campaign against Carol, but this… this injustice must be dealt with. What kind of mayor would I be if I allowed this to go unchecked, after all? Noelle, I promise you, I will make things right.”

Noelle looked into his eyes and nodded, feeling the same determination flow through herself as well.

Toriel sighed and addressed her ex-husband. “Yes, yes, enough theatrics, we get the picture, Asgore.”

“How do we make sure everyone finds out?” Noelle asked.

Although he looked mildly upset to have been told off, Asgore quickly recovered. “We’ll bring it to the newspaper. They’ll print a story about it, and the news will spread like wildfire. We can go right now, and it’ll be in the papers by the morning.”

Noelle nodded, but Toriel had other plans. “I’m going to bring Noelle home. If you’re going to be the mayor, you will have to do these things on your own, Asgore.”

Asgore pouted. “But I don’t know how to get things to work on my phone.”

“So hopeless… Take Kris then, I’m sure they will be more than willing to help. You are always saying that you’d like for the two of you to spend more time together.”

Asgore grinned at that. “It will be a regular family outing! Only… an outing where we overthrow a corrupt mayor. So maybe not quite a regular outing after all.”

Noelle smiled a little, which seemed to be Asgore’s goal. Toriel stood up and placed a hand on Noelle’s back. “Come on, Noelle. It’s time for us to go.”

“Okay.” Noelle stood up, and Asgore saw them to the door. They returned to the car, and Asgore waved to them as they drove off.

On the way, Noelle’s text message tone went off. She checked it and frowned when she saw it was her mom wondering where she was.

It seemed she didn’t need to say anything for Toriel to understand. “Your mother?”

“Yes.”

“I do hope this is the right decision for you…”

“It is.” Noelle didn’t answer the text. She would see her mom very soon, and then… well, there was no telling what came next.

But she wasn’t afraid. She had stood up for herself. For once, Noelle hadn’t let her mom push her around, and whatever came after this, Noelle had her fire now, her determination. And there was nothing Carol Holiday could do to take that away from her.

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty-Two

You Can Always Come Home

Susie

Why didn’t they teach this in physics? It had to be a universal property of some dead guy or something. Time slowed down around three PM, that was just an established fact. Why else would they make that be when school got out? It was planned specifically to torture kids, and Susie could respect that, but she would also destroy whoever made it that way if she ever met them.

Susie tapped against her school desk as she watched the seconds bleed from the clock. With each tick and each tock, Susie would tap once more, slowly wearing a hole in the wooden desk. It didn’t really make time go by any faster, but it gave her something to do with her hands.

Although it seemed that wasn’t appreciated. “Please stop tapping, Susie,” the teacher said.

Susie winced. “I just think better when I can –”

“It’s disruptive to the other students.”

Susie sighed and leaned on her hand. She didn’t even bother trying to pay attention. It was always like this here. Ms. Alphys had taken to letting Susie do things to help with her ADHD, but her new teacher wanted documented proof before he would even allow nondisruptive things like her fidget toy.

Which was fine. It wasn’t like Susie cared much. She just… she’d kinda gotten used to not feeling like an idiot all the time. She didn’t think a ton of that, but now she was slipping back further in her grades again. Her teacher just said she needed to adjust to the new school, but Susie wasn’t so sure.

And so, Susie watched the clock. It did little to make time go by faster, but there wasn’t anything else she could do. Little by little, the minutes ticked away as the teacher droned on, which also didn’t help the day go by any faster.

But as it always must, time did pass. It took far too long, but eventually, the final bell rang to signal the end of a day that lasted longer than it had the right to. Susie immediately jumped to her feet, ready to make a beeline for the exit.

Her teacher had other thoughts. “I dismiss you from class, not the bell. Please sit down, Susie.”

Susie glared, but she returned to her seat. What else was she going to do?

Well, I could tell him off for being a jackass and leave anyway.

Once upon a time, Susie would have done just that. The realization that she had changed so much snuck up on her, and it left her so perplexed that she almost didn’t notice when he finally did dismiss them.

With her head filled with thoughts of her past, Susie stood up and grabbed her backpack. She slung it over one shoulder, then walked out of the room with the rest of the class.

Almost absent-mindedly, she pulled out her phone. She had a text, which was weird because Kris made her use that other messaging app, but she ignored it in favor of sending Kris a message instead. ‘dude my teacher sux how r u’

With that sent, she opened her text messages. It was from Karst, who said he would be a little late. He’d always been early before, but it had been a while since Susie showed up. It really wasn’t surprising that as the weeks piled up, he would eventually stop trying so hard to impress her.

And anyway, she didn’t care. If it wasn’t for the fact that she didn’t know the way, she would just walk to the house. Karst and Everett were good to her, yeah, but she didn’t mind them viewing her as only a temporary house guest. That was all she was to them, and really, she wasn’t sure she wanted to be anything else anyway. Not with them…

She checked her phone again as she walked out to the car circle. No message from Kris. They usually were quick to message her back, but maybe Ms. Alphys had kept them after class for something.

That thought made Susie snicker. Yeah right, she was nicer than that. She knew teenagers didn’t want to be cooped up in school, and she let them go right when the bell rang.

Susie blinked, realizing that she had been thinking nice thoughts about her former teacher. That had never happened before. She really was changing.

And if she was changing, well… it wasn’t hard to see why. Kris, Noelle, Lancer, Ralsei… they had really changed everything for her, and now she wondered if she’d ever see them again.

She sighed and kicked at the ground, but she didn’t have much time to dwell on it as she was pulled out of her thoughts by someone saying her name. “Hey, Susie.”

She looked up to see a kid from her class – a boy with a bulldog face. She couldn’t remember his name. “Uh, hi.”

“You waiting for your dad to pick you up?”

“He’s not my dad,” Susie said, shoving her hand along with her phone in her pocket. “But yeah, Karst said he’d be late.”

“Oh, alright. Well, my sister is picking me up a little late, so we can hang out.”

Again, Susie became acutely aware of how much she had changed. Before Kris, before the Dark World, she would have told this guy to buzz off. She’d learned how to resolve things peacefully, though, so she just scratched her head and said, “Uh, yeah, I guess?”

“Cool!” He grinned, then jerked his head over to a bench where they could sit down. As they walked over, Susie looked around awkwardly. Almost everyone else was socializing with their friends, it was just Susie that was being weird about it.

Maybe I should just give this guy a shot. Not like I can go hang out with Kris and Noelle.

“So what do you usually do for fun?” he asked when they sat down.

“I dunno, talk to my friend back home mostly. Watch TV, use the internet, just stuff.”

“Do you play any card games?”

“Uh, you mean like Poker and stuff?”

He laughed and pulled off his backpack. “No, not those kinds of cards. Battle Bois!”

The bulldog kid rummaged around for a bit before pulling out a deck of cards. They had some weird design on the back and fantasy pictures on the front.

“Are these like some sort of comic book thing?”

He blushed a little. “Well, you can buy them in comic shops, but they’re not from a comic. It’s a collectible card game. If you get your own deck, you can battle them against your friends’ decks.”

“What? How do cards fight?”

“Here, see this number? That’s how much health it has…”

There were various stats for each card, depending on the monster’s attributes. On your turn, you could make your cards do different things to fight the other cards, and depending on the stats and what you had them do, one monster would win and the other would lose.

“What are these orange cards?” Susie asked, looking at a picture of a bow and arrow.

“Those are equipment cards. They buff your bois! Even weak bois can be strong with the right gear. Like this one.”

He pulled out a card that didn’t have a monster, it had a human. Susie read the name aloud. “Gremlin Runt?”

“In the Battle Bois story, this human was raised by gremlins and thinks it is one. It’s pretty weak, but if you equip the right stuff then…”

Susie didn’t really hear the explanation. The Gremlin Runt was a human with shaggy brown hair and a pointed gaze at the player. They held a long knife that was almost like a sword because of how small they were.

“Uh, Susie?”

Susie shook her head. “Oh, uh, this boi just reminded me of a friend.”

“Really? Gremlin Runt?” The bulldog kid laughed. “Must be some friend.”

Susie barely noticed his reaction as she stared at the card. “Yeah, they… they really are…”

He looked off to the side and then smiled at her. “Hey, uh… That card isn’t rare or anything, you can keep it.”

Susie looked away and blinked. “Really?”

His smile grew. “Yeah, I’ve got like three of them. And maybe we can play some time? Here, I’ll give you my phone number, if you have any questions about the game just let me know. I can help you pick out a good starter deck.”

“Oh, uh, thanks.” Susie looked back at the card. It didn’t really look like Kris, not with that sinister grin, but she still felt something of them in it. She wasn’t really sure what it meant for a card to be rare, but even if this one wasn’t, she appreciated the gesture.

Meanwhile, the bulldog kid wrote his number on a piece of paper. He didn’t write his name on it though, so as Susie took it, she started to wonder how she was going to learn his name. She didn’t let on about that though, just grinning and thanking him for the help.

“Don’t mention it, I –” He was cut off by the sound of a car horn, causing him to jump. He turned and waved at the car that had honked. “That’s my sister. I’ll see you tomorrow, Susie.”

“Uh, sure. See you, dude.”

With a wave to her, he got up and walked over to the car. Susie waited until the passenger door shut, and then she looked back down at her Battle Bois card.

An idea occurred to her, and she pulled out her phone. She hadn’t used her camera much, so it took her a minute to figure out how to work it, but she eventually managed to take a picture of it.

From there, she opened her messaging app, then took another minute to figure out how to add the picture to a message that she sent to Kris. She captioned it ‘Kris 2.0’.

That made her smile for a moment, but it fell away as she realized it had been half an hour and Kris still hadn’t replied to her initial message. They had to be out of school by now, right? Had they gone to the Dark World without telling her? 

Susie looked around. No sign of Karst. To keep herself busy, she added the bulldog kid’s phone number to her contacts. Since she didn’t know his name, she put him down as ‘Bulldog Boi’. His name was only one of a handful of others – Kris, Toriel, Karst, Everett, and Rudy. She kind of wished she had Noelle’s number. She missed the other girl, although she knew reaching out to her would be bad.

Susie sighed, then perked up as she got a message from Kris. But when she opened it, it just said, ‘Sorry, we’re in the middle of something.’

Susie frowned. They didn’t even say anything about Kris 2.0… Feeling more alone than usual, Susie pulled her jacket close and waited for Karst to show up.

It took him another fifteen minutes to get to the school. Most of the cars had left by then, so he was able to speed through the winding path of the car circle. She wasted no time in opening the door and climbing in.

“I’m really sorry I was late,” Karst said immediately as Susie buckled up.

“It’s fine,” Susie said, not bothering to point out that she didn’t expect anything better. “Stuff happens, right?”

“Yes, stuff does happen,” Karst said as he started driving. “Good stuff, sometimes.”

Waiting at school for forty-five minutes and then being ignored by her only remaining friend didn’t feel like good stuff to Susie, but she didn’t comment.

“I hope you weren’t out there alone that whole time.”

“No, a kid from my class hung out with me for most of it. He showed me this card game.”

Karst laughed a little. “Ah, kids and their card games. I played one when I was your age, but I don’t think it’s still around.”

“This one was called Battle Bois.”

“Hmm, don’t think I’ve heard of it. Did you like it?”

Susie shrugged. “It looked kind of cool, but we didn’t get to play. I think he only has one deck, and I guess we both need one?”

“I see. Well, how about this: what if to make up for being so late, we go get you one?”

Susie blinked. “Really?

“Sure. It’ll be a…” Karst’s smile shifted for a moment, then he glanced to Susie as he pulled up to a stop sign. “Well, I’d just like to get you something.”

“Uh, okay…”

Instead of heading towards the house, Karst turned down another street and went towards a part of the town that Susie didn’t know. Of course, she didn’t know much of the town, so that was hardly a surprise.

As he drove, he passed the time by talking about school and asking how Susie was doing. He seemed interested in the Bulldog Boi, and for some reason was happy that Susie had his phone number. He laughed heartily when Susie admitted she didn’t know his name, and Susie had to smile a little herself when he admitted that he’d gone on three dates with Everett before remembering his then-boyfriend’s name.

When they stopped, it was at the type of store that Susie would have never expected she’d set foot in – a comic shop. But she got out of the car all the same, following Karst inside.

It wasn’t hard to find what they were looking for – there was a Battle Bois display near the front. It must’ve been more popular than Susie thought.

“Wow, there’s a lot of these things,” Susie commented. She picked up a little foil pack. “What is this? There’s gotta be like ten cards in this thing.”

“That’s a booster pack,” Karst explained. “These games work by selling decks like these and packs like those. The decks are everything you need to play, but you get the best cards in booster packs.”

Susie frowned. “But how do you know what’s in it?”

Karst chuckled. “You don’t. That’s how they get you to keep buying more packs, always hoping for the big score.”

“Huh.” Susie put the booster pack back. She wasn’t sure she liked the sound of that. “But I can still play with just one of these decks, right?”

“That’s right. Start with one of those, and if you like the game, you can buy booster packs later.”

While Susie looked over the cards, Karst looked at some of the models nearby to give her space. There were around five different decks to choose from, each one having its own theme. Since she had no idea what any of them were, she just kind of looked between them and compared the art.

Two stuck out to her – a gremlin themed deck that might go well with her Gremlin Runt card and an ice themed deck. She wasn’t sure how to decide between the two, so she decided to text Bulldog Boi and ask him for his advice.

She took a picture of the decks and sent them to him. ‘these any good??’

After a moment, he replied back. ‘Yeah those are good. Gremlin Assault uses a lot of weak cards that you can make stronger with good equipment and special abilities and Snow Queen has a lot of high damage low health cards. Those are called glass cannons.’

Susie decided that didn’t help at all and went back to comparing the decks.

“Trouble deciding?” Karst asked.

“Yeah. I guess they’re both good? I don’t really know…”

“Hmm… don’t tell Everett, but we’ll get both.”

Susie reared back. “Both? But why?”

Karst shrugged. “Might want to play with someone who doesn’t have their own deck. Besides, you’ll need to find your own play style.”

It sounded nice, but it was hard to accept. “But… I mean, one’s enough.”

Karst took the decision out of her hands along with the cards. “Come on, let’s get these rung up.”

Susie fell in step beside him, not protesting as he bought both decks. She appreciated it, but it made her feel worried that she was being a burden. He really didn’t have to…

But he did anyway. Karst took the receipt and handed the bag with the two decks to Susie. They left the store and made their way back outside.

Before getting into the car, Karst pulled out his phone and dialed a number. After a few rings, he spoke. “Hello, love. Is everything ready?” He paused for a moment while Everett spoke. “Okay, we’ll be there soon.”

Karst hung up, then they got into the car. Susie looked down at her decks, deciding she would wait until they were at the house before opening them.

Although he started the engine, Karst waited before driving away. He gave Susie a look that was hard to place. “Susie, I should tell you that this is more than making up for being late.”

Susie looked up at Karst. “What do you mean?”

“It’s, well… it’s a bit of a farewell gift.” Karst smiled. “Someone’s come to adopt you into your new forever home, if you want to go with them.”

Susie blinked. “Oh.”

“I just want you to know that even though you weren’t with us for long, we’ve both enjoyed meeting you very much. If you go with this family, then you’ll always have friends in Amberbreach.”

“I’m moving again?” They had told Susie that it would be a possibility that she’d move when she was adopted, maybe even across the country. Still, it was a weird feeling. She didn’t care about Amberbreach itself, not really. But… she hadn’t fixed everything with Rudy yet…

“This is your decision, but the family is waiting for you at the house now.” Karst reached over and put a hand on Susie’s shoulder. “Let’s at least go meet with them, shall we?”

“Uhm, yeah.” Susie looked down at the cards, but she didn’t really see them. She was, of course, just passing through. She knew that. Karst and Everett were great, but they were never adopting her. This was always going to happen, but she just… thought it would be a little less sudden, somehow.

The ride passed in a blur. Whether because he thought she needed space or because he wasn’t sure what to say, Karst let the ride pass in silence. Susie pulled out her phone to message Kris. ‘dude someone is coming to adopt me wtf do i do??’

Susie waited, but no there was no response. Looking through her other contacts didn’t help either. Even if Toriel wasn’t busy with whatever Kris was doing, Susie only had her home phone number, so she couldn’t text her. Karst and Everett were of course not the right people to ask, and she wasn’t about to go to Bulldog Boi for advice. There was Rudy, but he would just tell her to go for it and that he would sort out things with his family on his own…

Susie’s head ran through the options, and the only conclusion that she came to was that she wished she had time to think about things. That, and that Kris would message her back…

Then all at once, those thoughts fell away as they reached the house. She pressed her face right up to the window, not sure that what she saw could possibly be real. There in the driveway was a familiar red minivan…

As soon as they pulled to a stop, Susie threw open the door and ran up to the house. Without even stopping to think of how she’d look barging in, she threw open the front door and ran into the living room. She stopped in her tracks there; two faces she wasn’t sure she’d ever see again staring back at her.

“Oh, Susie…” Toriel crossed the room and pulled her into a hug, and for what might have been the first time since her dad died, Susie found she couldn’t quite keep from crying a little. “You poor girl, what you must have thought of us letting you go like that…”

“T-Toriel? Kris?” Susie wiped her eyes as Toriel let her go and Kris came to take her place. They smiled a little and punched Susie on the arm. That got Susie to break into a grin. “Yeah, right! Come here, dude!”

She grabbed Kris in a headlock and gave him a noogie, if only because it kept her from crying. They pushed against her, worming their way out of her grip, while Toriel just laughed at the display.

“I take it you’re happy to see your new family?” Everett said.

Susie looked between him, Kris, and Toriel. “You’re really…?”

“We did come here to adopt you,” Toriel said. “To tell you the truth, I was trying to adopt you from the beginning, but there was so much red tape in the way. Then… well, something happened, and suddenly everything worked out very easily.”

Before Susie could ask what she meant by ‘something happened’, Karst came inside. “I see someone’s happy. You forgot these.”

He handed Susie her Battle Bois cards, which seemed less important for the moment. “I just… I can’t believe this…”

Kris looked at the cards and called her a nerd. Before Susie could counter with anything, they just looked away and said they couldn’t believe their sister was actually the lamest person ever.

That knocked any rebuttal from Susie’s mind. Their sister. She was going to be part of their family.

“Now, Kris, it’s still Susie’s decision.” Toriel smiled. “So how about it, Susie? Would you like to come live with us?”

“I… yes!” Susie beamed, then thought better of it and shifted to a cocky grin. “I mean, you know, Kris would be lost without me around.”

Toriel chuckled. “Yes, of course.”

Things happened quickly from there, or at least they felt like they did. Kris helped Susie get her possessions while the adults talked. There wasn’t much, but they loaded it into the minivan, then came back in to tell them they were finished. From there, all that they’d need to do was stop at city hall to drop off the paperwork that all the adults had already signed, releasing Susie into Toriel’s custody.

With everything else ready to go, Karst and Everett both stopped to say their goodbyes to Susie. Everett brushed a hand against her cheek, his skin feeling icy to the touch. “You’ll have your own life to go back to, but I hope you’ll reach out once in a while and let us know how it’s going.”

“Yeah, sure.” Susie bowed her head. “Thank you both, for everything.”

Karst placed his hand roughly on her shoulder. “Chin up, Susie. You’re a strong girl, you should face the world head on.”

Susie looked up and grinned at that. “Yeah, of course!”

The foster parents escorted her to the minivan, where both she and Kris climbed into the back seat together. Toriel got in and started the engine while everyone buckled up. With final goodbyes and promises to keep in touch, they pulled out of the driveway.

“I hope your time in Amberbreach wasn’t so bad,” Toriel said. “Those two seem nice.”

“Yeah, they were.” Susie pulled out the decks of cards she got. “Heh, guess I know why he bought me two now.”

She took the snow one and handed Kris the gremlin one. They each opened their box and started looking over the cards. Since she still didn’t fully understand the rules, Susie just admired the pictures.

“Guess I’ll have to let that dude know I won’t be able to play against him,” Susie said, more to herself than the others. Then her head perked up as she realized something. “Oh, I still have the phone Karst and Everett gave me.”

“It is okay,” Toriel explained. “We’re going to transfer it to our phone plan, I discussed it with them.”

“Oh, okay.” Susie looked out of the window. “So, uhm, what did you mean that something happened and that’s why you were able to adopt me?”

Toriel glanced in the rearview mirror. “That was actually Noelle’s doing.”

Susie blinked several times. “Noelle did it?”

“Yes, she… well…”

Kris pulled out their phone and pulled something up. It was an audio clip, and Susie recognized the voices as Noelle and her mom.

“Uhm, Mom?”

“Hello. Welcome home.”

“I, uhm, school was… interesting.”

“I suppose it must’ve been.”

It was good to hear Noelle’s voice again, but there was something wrong. She sounded scared… Before Susie could piece together what might be happening, something she never expected came up.

 “All of my friends… They still care about me.”

“Of course they do.”

“They still know I’m really a girl.”

“We’re done with this.”

“No. Whether you see it or not, I am a girl. Other people can see that, and they accept me the way I am!”

Susie had long since been aware that something she had never considered was going on, and now it finally clicked exactly what that was. And if there was any remaining doubt, the talk about pills and living as a woman that followed erased that.

But there was more. Although just hearing the way Carol talked to her daughter was enough to make Susie hate her more than she’d ever hated anyone before, there was still more.

“Do you like making people miserable? You’re losing your daughter just because she won’t be your son! You sent Susie away when she didn’t do anything to you, Toriel was going to adopt her and you –”

“I told you, I did Toriel a favor. I did this whole town a favor by getting her out of here. Let her be someone else’s problem.”

So that was what happened. Carol was the reason Susie had to leave Hometown, had to leave Kris and Toriel, and Noelle was living all alone with her… Susie waited for the audio to finish then swore aloud.

Toriel cleared her throat but didn’t tell Susie off for her language. “Noelle risked a lot to get that audio out there.”

Kris explained that she had given it to their dad to help him run for mayor, and that he had made it public. The whole town knew about it now, and everyone was turning against Carol.

“Well… that’s good, right?” Susie looked around the minivan. “I mean, if everyone is against her, then she’s out of the picture, right?”

Toriel’s tone was not reassuring. “Well… as mayor, yes, it looks likely she will lose this election.”

Kris pointed out that Carol was still Noelle’s mom, and that although she was facing some legal issues because of her interference with the adoption, there was no one to contend with her custody of Noelle. She was even taking Noelle out of public school, and no one was able to do anything about it.

Susie bowed her head. “Why would Noelle take such a big risk?”

“I think she had her reasons,” Toriel said. “I think you know what they are.”

Susie had an idea, but she couldn’t imagine it being right. “And… all that stuff about treating her like a boy?”

No one answered right away, then Toriel eventually said, “I think that’s really Noelle’s business.”

Susie nodded, but it was pretty clear picture. Some of Rudy’s comments shone in a new light as well.

Before she could dwell too much, Kris showed a Battle Bois card to Susie, which had the ugliest monster she’d ever seen. Kris told her it looked just like her, and she punched them on the arm.

It didn’t dispel all the tension. Not by a long shot. But… Susie found she didn’t really want it to. Things couldn’t be normal, not after that. Not until she fixed it. She’d learned a lot about tension in the Dark World, and how it could be used to her advantage. It could motivate her to act, and that was just what she was going to do.

It was a long ride, but it passed quickly. Kris did a good job of keeping her out of her head, and the two of them read up on Battle Bois rules so that they could play later. Meanwhile, Toriel told them about the dinner she was planning on making for Susie’s first meal as an official part of their family.

It was impossible to call the day good or bad. Well, it certainly wasn’t bad, but the parts about Noelle soured the good parts. It was, above all else, surreal. Susie wasn’t entirely sure it was real.

And yet, it happened. Eventually they found themselves pulling into the driveway of her new house.

No, that wasn’t exactly what it was, was it?

As Susie stepped out and looked up at the house, it was Toriel that put it into words. She put an arm around Susie and smiled at her. “Welcome home.”

Home. Susie was home. It wouldn’t be perfect, she knew; there would be times when she missed having her own room, and Toriel didn’t have the money that Karst and Everett did. She would have to go back to studying hard for school, and she still had some things to work on. But she was home.

Kris helped her get her things into her new home, putting them in her side of the bedroom. Asriel’s stuff had been packed up, and Kris explained that they’d decided to make the room more accommodating for Susie.

Susie sat on her new bed. “I would’ve been fine with his stuff staying here. I mean, it was his room and all, you know?”

Kris sat next to her and pointed out that it was her room now, and besides, he knew all about what was happening and was excited to meet her.

Susie scratched her head awkwardly. “Hey, uh, Kris? Did Noelle really do that for me?”

Kris thought for a moment, then said they believed that was a big part of it. They couldn’t think of anything else that would give Noelle the drive to stand up to her mom.

Susie just nodded, even though she didn’t fully understand. It was hard to accept, but… people cared about her. People really, genuinely cared about her. They wanted her around, and… and Susie wanted to be around them. She wanted to be part of everyone’s lives, and she wanted to do what she could for them.

Maybe… maybe Susie actually did understand why Noelle did what she did. “I think I need to make a phone call.”

Kris nodded, then left to go downstairs and see how dinner was going. Susie pulled out her phone and went into her small contacts list. She selected a name and dialed the number.

It rang twice, then a cheerful voice answered. “Well, if it isn’t Susie. Call to get some advice about a certain someone yet?”

“Hi, Rudy,” Susie said. “I’ve, uh, I’ve actually got something you need to hear…”

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty-Three

Without a Word

Noelle

It was no longer expected that Noelle would come down in the morning for breakfast. At first, Carol had tried to force her daughter to continue to play the role that she had set out for her, but after the audio leak went public… Well, now neither of them wanted to see each other much.

Which suited Noelle just fine. Really, that was the best way her life had improved since she’d helped Asgore leak the audio of the fight. Granted, it was the only good change to happen since then, so that didn’t mean a whole lot.

She still woke up, still showered in silence, tried not to look at her reflection and see the immediate effects of her mom forcing her to cut the hair she had been so proud of, tried not to imagine the ways her body was going to be changing as a result of losing her HRT, and in the end, she’d just go straight back to her room.

Once she was there, she’d pull on a pair of cargo shorts and a polo shirt. They were the only clothes she had left. Sometimes she’d cry, sometimes she’d look at old pictures where she’d been happy, most of the time she’d just lie in bed and wish it would swallow her whole and she’d never be seen again.

And in the end, as she always did, her mom opened her door without knocking, popped her head in, and said, “It’s time to go.”

Noelle was slow to rise. She didn’t care much if she made her mom late to work, and her mom didn’t want to talk to her any more than she had to. Frankly, Noelle was surprised she was even allowed to go to school. Not for much longer, though…

With a sigh, Noelle pushed herself up. She retrieved her crutches and made her way downstairs. It wouldn’t be so bad once she was at school. Her friends would be there, and they’d all support her. Kris would have one of her old dresses ready for her, and Ms. Alphys would excuse her to go to the bathroom with Catti and she’d change into it. That always made her feel a little better.

Carol was nowhere to be seen by the time Noelle made it downstairs. Not for the first time, she wondered what would happen if her mom just left without her. But when she left the house, the car was in the driveway with the engine running, and the gate was open. Noelle kept her eyes on the ground as she made her way to the passenger side door.

Without making eye contact, Noelle climbed into the car. Without a word, Carol started driving. There was nothing but silence as they made their way into town.

Noelle kept her focus on the outside world. There weren’t many townsfolk out and about, but most of those that were recognized her mom’s car and glared. She knew they were glaring at her mom, not at her. They were angry for her sake. But still, she couldn’t help but imagine each one was judging her. For turning on her mom. For not being a real girl. For the parts of her that wanted to give up everything…

She didn’t comment. She never spoke to her mom anymore. For the most part, that was mutual, but sometimes, her mom couldn’t resist cutting deeper.

“Two more days,” Carol said.

Noelle knew that already. She knew so well. She never stopped thinking of it. Two more days, then the last good thing in her life would be snuffed out.

Carol sighed. “Do you even care? I could just have you stay home for the next two days.”

Noelle said nothing. Maybe her mom would turn right back around. Maybe she would keep her home for the last two days before she officially was taken out of the school roster. But even with the threat of that, Noelle couldn’t speak to her mom any longer.

“Nicholas, I’m talking to you.”

Noelle pursed her lips and bit her tongue. She wanted to stand up for herself, to remind her mom that her name wasn’t Nicholas, but she knew her mom was just trying to goad her into a fight.

“I know you don’t think so, but this is for your own good. Trust me, you don’t want that life you were building for yourself. Even after what you did, I’m still looking out for you.”

Looking out for her? Yeah right. The only reason Noelle wasn’t going to an all-boys boarding school was because of Toriel. She had made good on her promise to contact them and explain the situation, and as she had predicted, they wouldn’t accept someone who had spent half her life living as a girl.

Not that the alternative was much better. Her mom was losing the election, it was obvious. So now Carol was pulling her daughter from school completely. She planned on homeschooling her until she found somewhere that would enroll her daughter as a boy and enforce those gender norms.

Still, she would not give her mom the satisfaction of seeing her break down again, so she said nothing. With a sigh, Carol accepted her loss, and they returned to silence.

That carried them the rest of the way to the school. Noelle got out of the car without a word, closing the door and shutting herself off from her mom. She didn’t look back, but she heard the car drive away as she walked into the school building.

As soon as she was inside, someone went sliding past. Jockington stopped and doubled back when he saw it was Noelle, however. “Hey, Noelle! You’ll never believe the track times I got yesterday!”

“Oh yeah?” Noelle said with a smile. “Sorry I haven’t been able to watch you.”

“Hey, no sweat! I know things are tough right now, but soon you’ll be back out there giving me a run for my money!”

Noelle felt a tug at her heart. She’d only told Kris and Ms. Alphys that she was leaving. Somehow it felt like she couldn’t put that on everyone else, not yet. But then, there were only two more days…

Still, she couldn’t bring herself to say anything. “Yeah, that’ll be fun.”

The two of them made their way to their classroom. Along the way, everyone greeted Noelle. It was nice to hear her name. Even just a little thing like that meant a lot in her circumstances.

She stopped and cocked her head to the side when she reached the classroom. Kris and Catti were waiting outside. She usually met Catti in the classroom, and Kris would come late as they always did.

They didn’t give any explanation, just slid off their backpack and pulled out a dress for Noelle to wear. She took it and smiled. “Thanks, Kris.”

They gave her a thumbs up, and Catti guided her towards the girls’ bathroom. It was dumb – she’d used the girls’ room for years and had long since stopped thinking of it, but lately, she felt like someone was going to call her out for walking in there.

But she had Catti, who would stand up for her if anyone had a problem. Not that anyone ever did, but it was a nice thought.

Noelle disappeared into a stall and changed out of her boy clothes and into her real ones. It was a pink and red striped dress, like a pink candy cane. She looked down at it and smiled, feeling a little better about herself.

Just for two more days, she reminded herself, and she stopped smiling.

But once she was out of the stall, she fixed a smile back on her face for her friend. “Thanks for always being here.”

Catti nodded, then reached into her jacket pocket. “Hold on. Here.”

She pulled out a necklace. It was silver and had a wooden pendant. It seemed to be carved with something, though Noelle didn’t have any idea what it meant. “Oh, Catti, did you make this?”

“For protection. Turn around.”

Noelle did as she asked, and Catti placed it around her neck and did the clasp in the back. It wasn’t her style at all, but it was a thoughtful gift, and she didn’t want to turn up her nose at that.

“How do I look?” Noelle asked, then almost regretted it. She knew Catti would never comment on it, but she was afraid she’d start to look like a boy in a dress, since that was how she was starting to feel.

But instead of saying that or anything else about her appearance, Catti pulled her into an unexpected hug. “Safe.”

Noelle hugged Catti back and sniffed as a few tears came. “Thank you… I don’t feel safe right now though…” They pulled apart and Noelle thought better of her comment. “Oh, I mean, I feel safe with you. But after school…”

“You’ll be okay.” Catti tapped the pendant around Noelle’s neck. “Promise.”

Noelle placed her hand over it. She didn’t believe in that kind of stuff, but she wanted to believe in her friend’s words, so she let herself. It would only last a little while, she knew, but for a few moments she let herself believe it would be okay.

Without any further comment, Catti turned and led them out of the bathroom, walking slowly so Noelle could keep up on her crutches. Most of the students were in class already, so the hallways were clear, and they made it back easily.

To her surprise, Kris was still waiting for them when they got back to the classroom. “Kris? Is everything okay?”

Kris held up a hand to signal for them to wait, then went into the room. Noelle looked at Catti, who didn’t comment. She didn’t move either, and Noelle understood that for whatever reason, they were expected to stay put.

After a moment, Kris’s hand popped out of the doorway and waved them inside. Catti resumed walking, so Noelle did too. The larger girl went into the room first, so for a moment, Noelle couldn’t see anything inside.

Once she did, her eyes went wide, and her mouth dropped open. The room was decorated like it was a birthday, and everyone was gathered around waiting for her. They all shouted “Surprise!” as she entered.

But the one thing that stood out more than anything else was the person right in the middle. Standing there with a cocky grin was someone she never thought she’d see again. “Susie!?”

Susie took a few hesitant steps forward. “Uh, hi, Noelle. I know you said you didn’t want to be friends, but Kris told me that –”

She was cut off as Noelle hobbled over and dropped her crutches, falling into Susie’s arms. Susie caught her, and Noelle held her as if she might disappear otherwise.

And Susie wrapped her arms around Noelle too, holding her tight. And somehow despite everything, despite the fact that she was openly crying in front of her whole class, despite her mom, and her hair, and everything that was going on, Noelle really did feel safe.

“Wh-what are you doing back?” Noelle managed after a time.

“You’ll never believe it!” Susie said, then seemed to think better of it. “Wait, what am I saying, of course you will! I’m back because of you!”

Noelle blinked. “Because of me?”

Kris pointed out that it was Noelle who brought her mom’s actions to light, and because of that, their mom was able to finally adopt Susie. From there, she got an explanation from both Susie and Kris about things that had been going on. About how Susie had been living with a pair of foster dads in Amberbreach, and that they’d only found out for sure that the adoption was going through the day before.

“I guess Karst and Everett just trusted Toriel to take care of me,” Susie explained. “Technically it should’ve taken longer for me to come back, but they knew from me talking about her that this was the best thing.”

Kris pointed out that Susie had to start calling Toriel ‘mom’, which made Susie blush and stammer. Noelle giggled at their antics, realizing how much she’d missed them.

At some point, everyone wound up sitting down, though not in their usual seats. Instead, Noelle was sitting in the middle of the class with everyone around her. She was directly in between Susie and Kris, with Catti behind her and Berdly in front. Susie was talking about a card game called Battle Bois and how she’d beaten Kris twice last night while Kris reminded her it was out of five games.

“Well, if you’re really serious about the game, you’ll need to get the latest booster packs,” Berdly said matter-of-factly. “I’ve been working on my deck since the series came out, and I’m unstoppable.”

Susie stared at him for a moment. “On second thought… Kris, you can have my deck.”

Berdly narrowed his eyes for a moment, then looked abashed. “Do you want to maybe play some time?”

Susie blinked a few times. “I, uh, sure?”

Kris leaned towards Noelle and whispered that if Susie and Berdly became friends, they’d never let her live it down.

Noelle laughed, then realized that class hadn’t started even though they’d been there for a half an hour. She looked around, and Ms. Alphys seemed to be preoccupied typing on her computer.

Noelle cocked her head to the side. “Uhm, are you getting the lesson ready, Ms. Alphys?”

“Oh, I’m working on my fanfi–” Ms. Alphys stopped, going wide-eyed and laughing awkwardly. “I mean, uhm, well… I’m… planning next week’s lessons! So, uh, it’s a… free day?”

“Alright!” Susie pumped her fist.

Part of Noelle wanted to comment on the fact that giving them an entire free day seemed like a little much, but she had Susie with her again. For just a few hours, things could be normal again.

“So have you ever played, Noelle?” Susie asked.

“Huh? Oh, the card game? No, I’ve never seen this one.”

“They don’t sell them in Hometown,” Berdly explained. “I’ve been trying to get the local toy store to carry them, but they say they won’t stock them for just one customer.”

“Well, uh, maybe they’ll have two, I guess,” Susie said.

Kris pointed out that they could have three, then everyone turned to look at Noelle.

“I, uhm, well it seems cool… But…”

Susie reached out to put her hand on Noelle’s, and they both blushed. “Well, hey, let’s play a game now.”

Noelle looked down at their hands. Susie hadn’t immediately taken hers back, keeping it resting on Noelle’s. That was a wonderful feeling all on its own, but she knew that she might never get another chance to do what she really wanted to do.

She closed her eyes and forced herself to turn her hand around, so she was holding Susie’s. And somehow, as if that wasn’t enough, she felt Susie’s fingers intertwine with her own.

When she opened her eyes, she saw Susie was blushing furiously and not quite making eye contact.

Noelle looked down, but she gave Susie’s hand a squeeze. “Uhm, sure, let’s play a game.”

They both looked at each other and smiled. Then Kris pointed out that they’d need both hands to play, which caused them to snap back to their own space.

Instead of pulling out the deck, Susie jumped to her feet. “Kris, what the hell, dude!? You wanna fight, because we can go right now!”

Noelle just held her hand to her mouth and giggled. It was only for a few hours, but everything was perfect.

The rest of the day was every bit as good as the morning. They played Battle Bois, which was a lot of fun, and even Ms. Alphys joined them to play a round against Noelle.

Catti decided to paint Noelle’s nails, which scared her because she would have to hide it from her mom, but feeling emboldened by Susie’s presence, she’d accepted. Since it was the only color Catti had, they were painted black.

Kris kept finding excuses for Susie and Noelle to do things together, which almost made up for the fact that they kept interrupting every little moment the two of them tried to share. Although if she was being honest, Noelle didn’t actually mind that one little bit.

And then there was Susie. In so many ways, she was just the same as always. But then in others… There was just something different about her. She was looking at Noelle differently, she was blushing a lot, and she would find lots of little ways to be close with the deer girl.

And everyone else did their part too. Temmie lent Noelle a hair clip so that even her short hair could look a little more feminine. Jockington filled her in on what was going on with the cross-country team without her. Berdly gave Noelle tips on how to beat Kris in Battle Bois, which caused her to lose, but which she appreciated anyway.

All in all, Noelle couldn’t ask for a better day. The only bad thing about it was that it had to end… No one seemed to want it to, but the final bell rang, and that meant Noelle’s perfect day was over.

“Thank you all for everything,” Noelle said to the class. “Today has been… I couldn’t ask for anything more.”

“Huh?” Susie gave her a weird look, and Kris pointed out that since Susie was the one who had just come home, this was all for her sake.

“I, uh, I mean!” Noelle sputtered, trying to backtrack, then Susie and Kris both started laughing and she stamped her one good hoof. “You two are picking on me, aren’t you?”

“Just a little,” Susie said. “But come on, let’s get the heck out of here!”

Noelle looked off to the side. “Yeah… I, uhm… I actually have to go change into… something else.”

Susie waved a hand. “Nah, what you’re wearing now is fine.”

“What?” Noelle cocked her head to the side.

“I mean, it, uhm… well, it looks good… on… you?” Susie wouldn’t meet her eyes, but Kris gave her a thumbs up anyway.

“Th-thank you. But, uhm, I do really need to get changed.” Noelle reached for her backpack, but before she could get it, Kris grabbed it and ran off, dodging between the seats and other teens to run out of the room. “Kris!? I need that! You know why I need that!”

“Uh-oh, guess we better catch them.” Susie looked at Noelle’s crutches. “But I, uh, guess you can’t, huh?”

“What are they doing?” Noelle’s heart started racing. If she didn’t get her clothes back…

“Don’t worry, we’ll get them.” Susie winked, then scooped Noelle up like she had done when the deer girl had injured herself.

Noelle screamed, which she realized seconds later was not the right response, but it was the only thing her brain could do when she was suddenly in Susie’s arms.

“Do you trust me?” Susie asked.

“S-Susie? I…”

“Listen…” Susie flashed a confident grin, which made Noelle melt in her arms. “Everything’s gonna work out, but you have to trust me.”

“I, I trust you, it’s just – whoa!”

Susie started walking, going after Kris. Catti opened the door, and the two girls walked past Ms. Alphys, who pointedly looked away from the antics that were probably not quite within the bounds of school rules. Jockington ran ahead, saying they would scout the area for Kris, and everyone else followed behind as if this was some game that they had all planned.

“So where to?” Susie asked.

“What?”

“You’re calling the shots.” Susie shifted Noelle’s weight in her arms, which made the deer girl blush. “Which way do you want to go?”

“Uhm… that way?” Noelle said at random, and Susie took off at the closest she could get to a run with Noelle in her arms. Noelle laughed loudly and clung tighter to Susie, taking in the sensation of being with her.

They looked around the school, even going to the other classroom where Toriel and Susie locked eyes before Susie slowly backed out of the room.

Eventually, Jockington found them. “Kris is outside!”

“They’re what!?” Noelle went wide-eyed. “No no no, we can’t go out there and oh my gosh Susie stop we can’t go that way!”

Susie stopped before the front door and looked at Noelle. “Listen, I know, well, more than you think I do. But I’m promising you, everything is going to be okay. Do you trust me?”

“I…” Noelle swallowed. It was hard, putting her trust in someone else when she knew what was at stake. But there in Susie’s arms, she felt safe. She knew that if there was one person she would trust, it was Susie. “I do.”

“Alright, then let’s go.”

Susie didn’t run anymore, she walked purposefully outside. Noelle squeezed her eyes tight and held close to Susie, but she knew what was waiting. Her mom would already be there, and she’d see Noelle in a dress being held by the girl she wasn’t supposed to be friends with anymore…

And… and so what? What else could her mom do to her? Take away her one more day? She’d had the perfect last day already. She’d found out Susie was okay, and she was even in her arms! She could handle whatever her mom would throw at her.

But… not like this. Not hiding behind someone else. “Susie? Can you please put me down?”

“Oh, uh, sure.” Susie set Noelle down and held her steady.

She surveyed the area and saw that Kris was there, and so was her mom’s sedan. A moment later, Catti showed up with her crutches, so Noelle thanked her, then made her way forward.

Since her mom was just waiting, it seemed likely that she hadn’t noticed Noelle at first. That didn’t last long. The passenger window rolled down as she approached, and Carol gave her a disgusted look. “What are you wearing?”

Noelle stopped. She wasn’t ready to get in the car yet. “I’m wearing one of my dresses. I like them, they make me feel pretty.”

“Nicholas, do not –”

“Noelle,” she answered, locking eyes with her mother.

When it became clear something was going on, Carol cut off the engine and opened her door, stepping out so she could better address them. For a moment, Noelle wondered if she could actually manage to face her mother, but then she felt a hand tighten around hers.

“Do not play these games with me today, Nicholas. Get in the car, and do not think you’re coming back to this school.”

“Her name is Noelle,” Susie said.

Before she could say anything, someone took hold of Noelle’s other hand. She turned and saw Kris, who told Carol that she really should know her own daughter’s name.

“You.” Carol narrowed her eyes at Kris and walked around the car. “This is all your fault. You’re the one who put all these thoughts into my son’s head.”

Before she could get to Noelle, Catti stepped in the way. “No.”

“What? What do you think you’re –”

“Hey, leave our girl Noelle alone!” Jockington said, sliding up to stand beside Catti.

Carol folded her arms and glared at the teenagers. “Cute. Don’t think your parents aren’t hearing about this.”

“Look, I don’t think I get it either,” Berdly said as he stepped up with the others. “But I know Noelle’s my friend, and that’s what matters!”

Carol looked over the growing group of teenagers, not noticing the taxi that had pulled up behind her. “You’re all just children, what do you know?”

“Tem think mayor lady ver mean!!”

“Yo, look, Noelle is one of us!”

“Yeah, she’s a real deer friend of ours!”

Noelle looked around at her entire class surrounding her, and she stepped forward, bringing Kris and Susie with her. “I am a girl, Mom. Everyone sees that. Everyone but you.”

“You aren’t a girl!” Carol balled her hands into fists as she yelled at her daughter. The driver of the taxi stepped out, and Noelle’s eyes went wide as he stepped around to open the passenger seat. “Your name is Nicholas, and if you think I’m going to sit here and listen to you… you… you children!”

“Dad!” Noelle moved as fast as her crutches would allow, heading straight past her mom and to the taxi. Her dad was able to get out of the taxi with help from the driver, who got him into a wheelchair.

None of which diminished his smile in the slightest. “Hey, there’s my baby girl! Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes!”

Noelle stopped just short of getting to him. “What are you doing here?”

“What, no hug?” Rudy held out his arms. “I come all this way and we’re starting right with the questions?”

Noelle laughed a little and gingerly hugged her dad. She was surprised with how much strength he had as he hugged her back.

“So, guess what? The doc says I can go between Hometown and Amberbreach. They did the tests they needed to, and I’ve got a clean bill of health.”

Noelle gave her dad a skeptical look. “If you’ve got a clean bill of health then why do you need to go back?”

Rudy laughed heartily. “Okay okay, so it’s a little dusty. Just gotta shake those cobwebs loose though!”

“Rudy?” Carol looked on at her husband with a mix of shock and horror.

“Carol.” Rudy regarded his wife with a frown. “I’ve got some choice words for you, you know. But this ain’t the time or the place for that.”

Carol stepped forward, her usual demeanor returning. “It’s good to see you, but if you had told me you were coming –”

“You woulda covered everything up, huh?” Rudy looked away. “Look, when it comes down to it, you made a promise to this family. You made a promise to your daughter, and from what I’ve heard, you ain’t living up to it.”

Carol shook her head. “Rudy, I don’t know what you heard, but –”

“What I heard is a certain sound clip that’s been going around. It was pretty revealing.”

It seemed that Carol didn’t have a response to that, as she just pursed her lips and looked off to the side.

“Besides what I heard, what about what I’m seein’?” Rudy reached out and brushed Noelle’s hair. “No way you’re gonna tell me this was your idea.”

“I think it looks pretty good,” Susie said, causing Noelle to jump. She hadn’t even heard the other girl walking up. “I dunno that it’s really Noelle’s style, but it’s, er… kinda cute?”

Noelle blushed and hoped her dad wouldn’t say anything weird in front of Susie, so of course, he did. “Heh, only kinda cute? You gonna try to win her over like that?”

“Dad!”

Carol stepped forward more, standing in front of her husband. “Rudy, I don’t think this is the time for this.”

“Nah, I think it’s the time for ice cream,” Rudy winked at Noelle and Susie. “Taking these two with me. We got a lot to catch up on, you know.”

Carol folded her arms. “Fine. I’ll see you at home then.”

“Yeah… See, the thing is, I didn’t really come here planning to go back home with you.” Rudy took hold of his daughter’s hand. “I love you, Carol. Darn fool that I am, I still love you somehow. But you know, that don’t count for much when I see how you’re treating our daughter. So I’m not going home with you, I’ve got something else lined up. And unless she’s gonna pull a surprise on us and turn me down, Noelle’s coming with me.”

“Really?” For what felt like the hundredth time of the day, Noelle went wide-eyed. “Where are we staying?”

“Eh, I’ll tell you when we’re somewhere with less prying eyes.”

Kris pointed out that they knew where it was, which caused Noelle to jump again.

Rudy laughed. “What the heck, you can come too, Krismas. Ain’t got room in the taxi for everyone else though.”

With the reminder of her other friends, Noelle turned around. They were all smiling and waving at her, so she waved back. “Thank you so much, everyone!”

“Have fun,” Catti said, a sentiment echoed with much more enthusiasm by everyone else.

“Rudy, wait…” Carol looked so unlike her usual self. She was defeated, she looked small and scared. For once, she looked like how Noelle had felt living with her for years.

“We’ll talk later, Carol,” Rudy said, then he jerked his head towards the taxi. “Anyway, I’m paying this taxi by the minute, you know…” With some help from the driver again, Rudy got back into the taxi. Noelle got in after him, with Susie sitting on her other side and Kris taking the front passenger seat. “Alright, let’s go celebrate!”

Noelle didn’t really care what they did. She leaned against her dad, and at some point in the ride, Susie took hold of her hand. She didn’t even mind when Kris turned around to snap a picture of them with the claim that it was for future blackmail.

Noelle had a million questions for her dad, but she decided to wait. The moment was perfect all on its own, and Noelle simply enjoyed it without a word.

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty-Four

And Every Day After

Susie

Every day felt like a dream. And yet, somehow Susie kept waking up and it was all real.

Most days she’d wake up because of Kris’s snoring. She wasn’t used to sharing a room with someone, and it had only been a week. Still, better than her mom waking her up by yelling at the TV in a drunken stupor…

No sense in trying to sleep through it, though. Susie got up and stretched, then she took a look around the room. Miraculously, it hadn’t changed in her sleep. It was still a bit barren, but there was art on the walls – stuff Susie had drawn, and stuff Kris had helped her print out as inspiration. There was even a little easel with a canvas on it that the Holidays had gotten for her so that she could try painting as a new medium.

Susie grabbed her phone and checked for new messages. Bulldog Boi – whose name she still hadn’t learned – had texted her in the middle of the night. Turned out he was pretty cool, and she kinda wished she had gotten to know him sooner. But they’d been texting, mostly about cards. Today he was showing off his latest score from a booster pack he’d gotten the day before. Susie still didn’t know enough about the game to recognize the rare cards, but she looked over its stats and said, ‘dam dude thats good’.

Kris’s snoring didn’t make for good company, so Susie grabbed an outfit out of her clothes drawer and quickly changed while Kris was still passed out. It was a new one. Well, new to her – Toriel had taken her to a thrift store and gotten her a few new outfits. They were similar in style to her old ones, but they were in better condition. Lastly, she pulled on her jacket, feeling more complete with it on.

Once she was dressed, Susie left the room as quietly as she could and made her way downstairs. As she expected, Toriel was up and about. She smiled as she saw Susie. “Good morning. Come get some breakfast, Susie.”

Susie grinned. “Well, I won’t say no to that.” Since she was getting a little more comfortable in the kitchen, Susie grabbed herself a bowl and added cereal and milk in it. While she did that, Toriel made her some toast as well.

“Any plans for the weekend?” Toriel asked while the bread toasted and Susie sat down.

“No, not really,” Susie lied. She liked Toriel a lot, but there were a few things that she hadn’t managed to tell her. “Maybe use that painting stuff.”

“That sounds like a lovely idea. Make sure you show Karst and Everett.”

Susie suppressed an eye roll. “And get another lecture about going to an art college?”

“Would that be such a bad thing? I believe Everett looked into scholarship options for you, yes?”

Susie squirmed a little. “Yeah, he did… But me in college?”

Toriel laughed a little, a sound that was cut off with a pop from the toaster. She collected the two slices of toast and spread strawberry jam on them for Susie. As she did, she said, “You know, the local community college does have a good art program.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes. And a medical program.”

“Oh.” Susie looked off to the side. “I, uh, I guess maybe Noelle is thinking of going there?”

“Yes, she is.” Toriel gave Susie her toast and took a seat. “I imagine you two going to the same college would be quite nice for both of you.”

“Er, yeah, having a friend there would be nice!” Susie grinned a little too broadly, and Toriel laughed.

Susie’s newly adopted mom leaned across the table. “You know, I am not Kris. I will not tease you for these things.”

Before Susie could think of an answer, Kris popped into the kitchen, quiet as always. They asked what they should be teasing Susie about.

Susie grinned. Kris was easier to deal with than their mom. “The only one who should be teased is you for your snoring, dude. How am I supposed to sleep?”

Toriel laughed, then asked Kris what they would like for breakfast. They said ice cream, and Toriel said no, and then they settled for a bagel.

Since she’d gotten hers first, Susie was done eating by the time Kris got their bagel. But she waited at the table with her family. The discussion was light and fun.

“Are you sure you will not eat more than a bagel?” Toriel asked.

Kris pointed out they wanted ice cream.

“You are not having ice cream for breakfast,” Toriel said.

In response at nearly the same time, Kris and Susie both started chanting, “Ice cream, ice cream!” until Toriel shooed them from the kitchen.

Laughing, they both made their way to the front door, telling Toriel they were going to see Noelle.

“I see, that sounds nice.” Toriel smiled and waved them off. “Be good, my children.”

They got as far as the door before realizing there was mail on the floor from the mail flap. Susie picked it up. “Oh, it’s one of Asgore’s fliers.”

Toriel crossed the room and sighed, taking it from Susie. “I do wish he hadn’t put us on his mailing list. I still cannot believe I am voting for him…”

“He’s been really good to Noelle and her dad, though,” Susie offered. She still didn’t know why Kris’s parents split up, but even if she was sure it was for a good reason, she knew he wasn’t a bad guy.

“Yes, well…” Toriel looked off to the side. “I’m happy that he is good for someone.”

That was probably as good as they were going to get, so they said their goodbyes to Toriel and left for the day. It was getting cold as winter had started, and Susie pulled her jacket tighter as they walked.

They passed by the Holiday manor on the way. Rumor was going around that Carol was looking into selling it. Some people said she was even talking about leaving Hometown. She certainly hadn’t made herself popular among the townsfolk lately…

Kris noticed where Susie was looking and asked her if today was going to be the day.

She blushed and looked at the ground. “I… I think so. Kinda scared, you know?”

Kris pointed out that she had fought for her life in the Dark World, she could handle this. Susie wasn’t so sure. They seemed to give it more thought, then pointed out instead that Susie and Noelle had already fought for each other. Even living in separate towns, the two of them had never given up on one another, and that had to mean something.

Susie punched Kris on the arm. “What, you going soft on me?”

Kris shoved her back and said they weren’t the one who was scared to talk to a girl.

The two of them laughed and joked like that through town, making their way to the apartment complexes in what counted for the downtown part of Hometown.

They walked inside one, waved to some classmates, then stepped into the elevator. Kris pressed the button to go to the third floor, and up they went.

Susie bounced nervously as they rose, which Kris politely ignored. The elevator dinged and came to a stop, then the doors opened.

They went to room 302 and knocked on the door. A moment later, they heard Noelle’s voice. “Just a second!”

Susie took a steadying breath, then Noelle opened the door. She beamed when she saw who was on the other side. “Oh, hi!”

Although it would be a while before her hair grew in again, it had become more of a short girl’s cut rather than the one her mom had forced on her. On top of that, Noelle was back to wearing her usual dresses, which seemed to do a ton for her sense of self.

And for once, her dress wasn’t out of season with Christmas on the horizon. She gestured inside, asking, “Do you two want to come in?”

Kris pointed out that it was Noelle’s favorite time of year, and besides, she’d been cooped up inside enough lately.

“Come on, let’s go hang out in the woods,” Susie suggested. It was usually where she and Kris would go after school, and lately Noelle as well.

“Alright, but no leaving me behind just because I’m slow right now!” Noelle left the apartment, closing the door behind her.

“I wouldn’t do that,” Susie pointed out.

“Yeah, you wouldn’t,” Noelle said with a pointed look at Kris, who was already at the elevator.

Susie just laughed and followed Kris alongside Noelle. They returned to the ground floor, then left the building.

The brisk air got a little shiver out of Susie, who wasn’t really built for the winter weather. Noelle made a content noise though. “Feels so nice out here.”

“For a reindeer maybe,” Susie said with a laugh.

The three friends walked through the town, making the short trip to the woods. Along the way, they passed several townsfolk, who all offered encouraging words to Noelle. Gossip spread quickly in Hometown, and it seemed to be well known that the mayor was going through a divorce and her husband was likely to get full custody of their daughter. A few people even had kind words for Susie, as they’d heard Toriel had adopted another kid.

After a few times being stopped on the street, Kris pointed out they were glad no one had anything to say to them.

Noelle smirked. “Oh, they will. You’ll be the mayor’s kid soon, and trust me, that’ll get some attention.”

With a frown, Kris declared this was the worst possible conclusion to things.

The three friends laughed as they slowly made their way to the edge of Hometown. The last building they passed offered a few friendly places. “Hi, honey!”

“Hi, Dad,” Noelle said as they approached Rudy and Asgore. Noelle’s dad was mostly wheelchair bound, but he was able to get around a little. Especially with Asgore’s help – the two of them had become inseparable, and Asgore wheeling Rudy around had become something of a common sight in town.

“Can you believe this guy?” Rudy said, jerking his thumb at Asgore. “He decided to bring me out to see the garden. Says it’s for the fresh air, but I think he’s trying to make a move on me!”

Asgore blushed a little. “Flowers have healing powers, you know. Spending a little time with them is good for you.”

Rudy laughed at that. “A little time? We’re gonna be living together, big guy. I don’t think I’m getting out of seeing flowers every day for the rest of my life!”

“Is that a bad thing?” Noelle asked. “I love all the flowers.”

“Oh yes?” Asgore walked away and plucked one. “Then here, have one on the house.”

Noelle took it and gave it a sniff. It was a yellow flower, but Susie didn’t know what type. She also knew better than to ask, because Asgore would tell her and never stop telling her.

“Would you like one as well, Susie?” Asgore asked.

Susie grinned sheepishly. “Uh, no, I’m good. Flowers aren’t really my thing.”

Kris gave a pointed look at Susie and Noelle, then asked if there was anything they could do to help their dad out.

Asgore smiled broadly. “Well, I could use an extra set of hands if you don’t mind spending some time with your dad.”

“And a working set of legs,” Rudy said, then gestured to Noelle. “We’re coming up a little short on those lately.”

“Your legs are getting better,” Noelle pointed out. “In fact, the doctor said you need to exercise them.”

“Don’t tell me that, tell him that!” Rudy grinned and forced himself to stand, which caused Asgore visible worry. “Mmh. Too much time in a hospital bed, and this guy won’t let me go anywhere on my own.”

“I just want to make sure you’re okay,” Asgore said.

Kris pointed out that if they wanted to spend some time alone together, Susie and Noelle needed to just leave because the dads were going to keep them indefinitely otherwise.

“Alone together?” Asgore said.

“You don’t say…” Rudy gave them a sly look.

“Okay I think we’re gonna go now so see you all later!” Noelle said at a rapid pace then started hobbling off without waiting for anyone.

Susie could strangle Kris for saying that right then, but instead she just gestured at Noelle. “I, uh, should go make sure she’s…”

Rudy winked. “Go get her, tiger!”

Susie quickly joined Noelle in fleeing the scene.

The sound of laughter followed after them, so they distanced themselves from the others as they went into the woods together. 

At first, the two girls didn’t make eye contact. Eventually Noelle said, “Dads, right?”

Susie chuckled. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Sorry, I shouldn’t say that to you. I mean, I know that…”

Susie ran a hand over her jacket. “No, it’s okay. I… I like to think my dad would be doing the same thing if he was still here.”

“Teasing you and stuff?”

“Yeah. Is that dumb?”

Noelle shook her head. “No, it’s not.”

They walked quietly for a little bit, the sound of birdsong filling the cool winter air. After a minute or so, Susie asked, “So like… you’re gonna be living with Kris’s dad. That weird?”

“No, I’ve known him all my life. I’m kinda looking forward to it. Besides, I can’t go back and forth with my dad to Amberbreach all the time, so someone’s gotta be there, right?”

“Yeah, makes sense.”

Apparently, Rudy had been working with Asgore on managing his finances for some time, trying to clear off his debt. He’d rented a cheap apartment with Noelle, but it was only supposed to be for a month while the two dads looked around for a house they could get together.

“So, uh…” Susie hoped she wasn’t crossing a line, but she was more than a little worried. “How’s your dad doing, anyway?”

Noelle sighed. “He’s getting a little better, but… I’m worried. What if he shouldn’t have left the hospital? What if they weren’t really done treating him, and he just came back for me?”

Susie didn’t know what to say. Part of her wondered the same thing, but she didn’t have the answers. She looked up at the treetops, seeing the sun filter through them and make patterns on the ground.

“I think,” Susie said slowly, “he had a choice to make. And I don’t think it was an easy one. But… I think he’s gotta do what’s right for him, right?”

“I guess.” Noelle came to a stop, so Susie did as well. “I’m scared of losing him.”

“I know. But he’s not, like, giving up on treatment. He just figured out what works best for him.”

Noelle nodded slowly. “I guess…”

Since she knew there was nothing she could really say, Susie just stood beside Noelle. She wondered if she should do something, but before long, Noelle started walking again.

“Hey, uhm,” Noelle said, her tone noticeably getting lighter from before, “I never actually said I’m sorry for what happened right before you left Hometown. When, uhm, when I said I didn’t want to be friends.”

Susie shrugged. “Hey, no worries. That wasn’t you, that was your mom.”

“Maybe, but if I was stronger…”

“Noelle… you got me back here. You stood up to your mom, and it almost cost you everything. Even if I had been mad at you – which I wasn’t – how could I be mad after that?”

“I’m just glad you’re here.” Noelle looked at Susie and smiled.

Susie scratched at the back of her head. “Yeah, me too.” She looked around them as she fished for a different topic, and it wasn’t hard to find one. “So, like… what’s it like being away from her?”

“It’s… is it bad that I’m this happy?”

Susie furrowed her brow. “Why would that be bad?”

“I mean… she’s my mom. I shouldn’t be happy that my parents are getting a divorce.”

“Uh, your mom’s a bitch,” Susie said flatly. Noelle laughed, which made her smile. “Look, I don’t think you owe your mom anything. If you’re glad, then good! You should be!”

“I guess. And, uhm… it’s nice. Being called ‘Noelle’ at home, and not having to worry about only being allowed to be a girl if I’m perfect.”

Susie nodded. She wasn’t sure how much was her place to say on a topic like this, but she wanted to learn more. “It must’ve been really hard. Did she really not even call you by your name?”

“Never. I’ve never heard her say ‘Noelle’.” Noelle looked at Susie with an apprehensive look. “I… guess you know by now. About me being, uhm, trans.”

“Yeah, I kinda figured that out. I, like, you know I don’t care, right?”

“I… was really scared to tell you about that. But now I’m kind of relieved that you know.”

The two of them came to the lake, so they stopped walking and looked out over it. “Noelle, you’re… I mean, you’re just you to me. Whatever makes you happy, that’s what I care about.”

“Thank you.”

Susie felt a little weird being thanked for that, so she decided not to press the subject. Instead, she took a seat on the ground. Noelle joined her, setting her crutches off to the side and stretching her healing leg out.

A soft breeze tussled Susie’s hair around, and Susie wondered if this was the right time. She thought it probably was, then like a coward, she chose a different subject anyway. “So, like, Kris and I were talking, and there’s something we want to show you.”

“Oh yeah?”

Susie grinned. “It’s… you’re not gonna believe me about it until you see it. It’s at the school though.”

“Something at school?”

“Yeah! It’s actually the reason I didn’t want to get expelled. Well, the reason back then, now I kinda like school.”

Noelle smiled. “I’m glad. And it must be pretty important if you wanted to turn around your grades for it.”

“Couldn’t have done that without you.” Susie grinned, then thought of something she’d always wondered. “Hey, uh, random question. Why’d you decide to tutor me way back when? We weren’t even friends back then, but you still wouldn’t let me fail.”

Noelle blushed and looked away. “It’s dumb.”

“I’m sure it’s not.”

“I…” Noelle took a deep breath. “I had a crush on you. For a long time.”

“Oh. Wow.”

“I’m sorry, that’s awkward…”

Susie shook her head. “No, it’s not. Do, uhm… do you still feel that way?”

Noelle was quiet for a moment, then grabbed her crutches. “We should go back to Kris.”

Before she could get up, Susie grabbed Noelle’s hand. “Hey, uh, that thing I wanted to show you? What if we made that, I don’t know… like a date?”

“A… a date!?” Noelle went wide eyed and looked like she might pass out.

“I mean, like… if you want to.” Susie grinned awkwardly, hoping that she was doing this alright. “If not that’s cool, but –”

“Yes! Oh my gosh, I can’t believe this! Of course, I – wait, but why me? You could be with a… well, a girl who isn’t like me.”

Although wasn’t clear if Noelle meant because she was trans or because she was shy and kind of awkward, Susie decided it didn’t matter. She took a chance and gently pulled Noelle closer to her. Noelle obliged, sidling up to Susie, who wrapped her arms around the smaller girl. “A girl who isn’t like you? What, like someone who isn’t tough, and strong, and who fights for what’s right? Why would I ever want a girl who isn’t like you?”

Noelle blushed furiously. “But I… I’m scared of everything. I’m not tough or strong or anything like that”

“You are when it counts, though.” Susie bent her head down, so she was almost face to face with Noelle. “Look, I just really like you. You’ve always been there for me, and no one else has ever made me feel like you, and… and damn, I sound like such a sap right now, don’t I?”

Instead of answering with words, Noelle closed what little distance there was between them and kissed Susie on the lips. Or rather, that was likely the idea, but it was more so that their faces briefly got smashed together before Noelle bowed her head and hid in the crook of Susie’s neck, while Susie stared wide-eyed out at the lake.

“I’m sorry,” Noelle squeaked.

Susie took a second to form a reply, but when she did, she just laughed. Her lips actually hurt a little from being smashed against her teeth, but she couldn’t be happier. “Geez, warn me next time?”

“N-next time?”

“Well, sure… I mean, if we’re gonna be girlfriends, then we’re probably gonna kiss again, right?”

“I… I guess.” Noelle slowly wrapped her arms around Susie and the two of them just sat at the lake holding each other for a little while.

Susie closed her eyes and felt like she was living in a dream. But every day, she woke up and found everything was real. She had a family now, she had friends, she even had a girlfriend.

She took a deep breath, which smelled like Noelle’s candy cane shampoo. It was a perfect moment, and it felt like all the tension of the past few months just seemed to slip away, carried off in the gentle winter breeze.

Chapter Text

So I have more thoughts about this story than I want to put in an author’s note. Normally I publish on Fimfiction where I can post blogs, but AO3 doesn’t have blogs, so here we are.

I should start off by thanking you all. This was probably not the story you were looking for, yet you stuck with it anyway. Hopefully that means you found something unexpected in it, and just maybe, you’ll be interested to see that certain something in my other works. I do have two other Deltarune stories – a short fluff fic called Facing Fears written for Halloween, and a longer demon AU (M-rated for violence, take note of that) called Solve et Coagula. Maybe one of them will interest you.

Or not. That’s fine too. If this is the only fic of mine you’re planning on reading, then that’s okay. I’m just so thankful to have had so many wonderful readers in the first place, way more than I was expecting.

I mentioned that you probably weren’t really looking for a fic like this. There’s no Dark World, there’s no Ralsei, no Lancer, it’s missing a lot of what makes Deltarune special. And a lot of what’s there was crafted by me. Really, this could have been an original novel if I just changed the names. I strongly considered doing that.

But well… let me tell you a little about me, and about Tension Points and where it comes from. What you need to know is that I have severe depression. I’m actually the best I’ve ever been through a combination of medication, therapy, a network of support, and fortuitous life circumstances.

But I wasn’t doing so good earlier this year. I was burnt out from writing. I was starting to think it would go nowhere. I picked up a second hobby that was taking a lot of my time and was, for a while, more engaging than writing was. I was working a string of jobs that did not go well. I was at the second one of those, overnight stocker at Walmart, when things went bad.

I went into work that night saying to myself “this is the best job I’ve ever had”. A string of events happened, they weren’t particularly bad, some of them were my own causing. But they happened, and I went home, and I tried to kill myself. There’s a whole story there, but what’s important is that I didn’t (obviously) and I rethought after that about what I wanted .

At the time, there was this contest going on called Pride and Positivity. A charity fic drive where every story written for it would get $20 to charity. The max someone could write was four, and I planned on doing all four. I had four ideas to execute, and I was gonna do them! Well, that was before this whole suicidal thing. And like I said, I thought about what I wanted, and I did not want to write all four of those fics. Only one interested me: a story in which Noelle is transgender.

I see a lot of trans Noelle stuff now, but I really did not at the time. Most of that came after chapter two. Really, most Noelle art came after chapter two because of her larger role in it and the heavy shipping in the chapter. So if I wanted trans Noelle, I had to make it myself, and gosh did I ever want trans Noelle.

A friend of mine had this idea for a trans story in which the character has to work through the thought of “but she wouldn’t like a girl like me ”. She decided she wasn’t going to write it, so she gave me permission to do my take on it. That barely factored into the final version of Tension Points, but it was the starting point.

Incidentally, this friend also named the story. I was going to call it Ties That Bind, which is like, sufficient but not great. Tension Points is much better.

Susie’s story mostly came naturally from headcanons I had about her. Noelle’s I had to work to flesh out (with the help of the aforementioned friend and one other). Unsurprisingly, I am a trans woman, so trans narratives aren’t exactly alien to me, but my own experiences are vastly different from Noelle’s. And I kinda wanted it that way, I guess. I’ve been writing a long time, and I no longer feel the need to project too much on my characters, just giving them little bits of myself (Noelle is trans and anxious, Susie is apathetic and has ADHD, Kris is autistic even though I never point it out in the fic).

Speaking of Kris, I had a hell of a time keeping them relevant to the story. Toriel adopting Susie was a big revelation in the planning point of the fic, and a major turning point in shaping the story. Plus they’re Susie’s best friend and trusted confidant. I needed them to be a major player, but man, writing silent characters sucks lmao. I’m glad to say people like how I handled their “dialogue” in this story.

Another thing people have said a lot is that this feels very professional. I can not express how much this sentiment means to me. I desperately want to make it as a professional author, and this story was a huge confidence boost for me. So much so that the next thing I write is hopefully going to be my first original novel.

And that’s not all. I said earlier Tension Points could be an original novel, and like… it really could be. The idea I’m toying with is to take this story and base an original story out of it. Some characters will be wildly changed, some will be combined, some will mostly be the same. But what’ll really be different is that without Deltarune and the Dark World setup, I’ll have to come at it from a totally different angle at the starting point.

Which will, I think, be book one. That’ll cover how Kris and Susie (names will be different but the characters in these roles) met and became unlikely friends. Second story will be Tension Points, or at least based on it (but very likely with significant changes once there’s a significantly different backstory). Then there will be two more stories, with each story being a year in high school.

What’ll come of this? Man, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll fall back into depression and Tension Points will be my sendoff. If so then… I feel oddly okay with that. Not good. Not good at all. I desperately want to keep writing. But like, if this is it? I ended on what I feel might be my high point as an author, I made a story I’ll be proud of for the rest of my life.

But hey, hopefully it doesn’t come to that. I’ve still got things I want to write, both fanfic and original. I’ve got another Deltarune fic planned, with Noelle’s first all girl sleepover (every story I write is going to have Noelle be trans because that’s just who I am as a person). Hell, I’ve still got Solve et Coagula as an in progress story going on right now! So let’s see how far this thing goes, huh?

I’ve got one more surprise to announce. I’m making a Tension Points print edition! It’ll have additional art by Renrink, the artist behind the front cover. Keep on tracking this story because without a blogging platform, my only way to notify y’all when it’s ready is to publish an update as a chapter. God that’s annoying, but it is what it is I guess… I’ll give you more details when that’s ready.

As a final note, readers who have been following this have seen but I have a Discord server where folks are welcome to come and hang out. Please note that while it’s an SFW server, it is 16+ just because most of the members (me included) are on the older side and we decided it’s not a place for younger teens. But if you’re at least sixteen and feel like being sociable, pop in and say hi!

I could probably ramble on this forever. I like blogging, and I don’t get to do that here, so it’s kinda all coming out at once. But I’ll end here, and hope I see you all around in the future!

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So! News! This is the announcement of the Tension Points print edition. Unfortunately, I can't sell it here because of Ao3's policies. So like, here's a Fimficition blog on the subject, which has details and pictures and all that good stuff. This feels weird being so short but like, it's a thing I guess? Please don't try to arrange to buy a copy here on Ao3 though, I am not allowed to sell it here.