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English
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Published:
2015-02-09
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1,151
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1/1
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what a nut

Summary:

hinata is like peanut butter: he is overwhelmingly nutty, slightly sweet, a little salty, a huge mess waiting to happen, and makes kageyama break into hives when he makes contact with him.

also: deadly

Notes:

pshhh its 100% canon: kageyama is The Allergy Kid. the "peanuts will kill me" one. throw him into a laundry dryer and set him out to dry and hes top notch alrite but if u give him the salty bean paste? nah. not diggin it. every inch of his body blows up like a red angry hot air balloon

and hinata? pb&j FANATIC. #peanuts2k15 .he makes his mom cut off the crusts or else he peels them off and tries to feed them to his sister (who reluctantly complies) . he complains about "brown bread" (whole wheat lmao) and hinatas mom (god bless her hardworking soul) tries to sneak like, vegetables or something inside the sandwiches

anyways enough babbling , here are the Gays as promised

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It started out as a normal, completely disaster-free (at least, as close to disaster-free you can get with Hinata), mediocre Wednesday.

 

Hinata, and a somewhat grumpy-looking Kageyama, sat along the edges of school property, where a large red sign informed them in bold letters that students are prohibited from loitering (but they still were, being the shitty, obnoxious teenagers they are).

 

They were engaged in a seemingly-vivid discussion about the dinosaurs being wiped out after an interesting science class. Hinata insisted that massive killer wasps were responsible, to Kageyama's immense displeasure.

 

"They lunged at 'em with their hu-uuuu-ge stingers like 'PEW PEW PEW!', and all the dinosaurs went like 'SPLAT' cos' they were so big and tough and stuff!"

 

"Wasps didn't even exist then, numbskull." Kageyama snorts.

 

"Um, what, haha? The Discovery Channel says they did, so it's pretty much a known fact!"

 

"Well, The Discovery Channel can eat my shit! You're wrong!"

 

"He-eeeee-y! Are you tellin' me you don't trust The Discovery Channel, the most reliable source of wasp information possible?"

 

This drags on for a considerably long time.

 

Kageyama mumbles out something that kinda sounds like "Let's eat." He feels worn out after arguing for fifteen fucking straight minutes, as would any normal non-Hinata human being. Hinata had freakish stamina, he notes, and it was obvious he wouldn't give up on the killer wasp theory anytime soon.

 

Hinata shuffles through his bag -a mountain of age-old homework assignments, scrunched up failed tests, and what appears to be the remains of a ballpoint pen- until he cries out a little 'Aha!' and pulls out a scratched up plastic bento box from his literal hellhole of a backpack.

 

He kind of wonders what Kageyama is doing. It's all silent and weird and he doesn't like it. Silence is deadly, he remembers, and then sorta laughs a little in his head because that's totally a fart joke waiting to be made.

 

He looks up and yeah, Kageyama's already eating his curry rice (which smells REALLY good) from his ugly thermos gross metal food sleeve thing. Hinata's seen it less than a few times, but he's already developed a strong opinion on it; he hates that stupid container. It looks like an Actual Dog Butt.

 

Mind filled with thoughts of butts, wasps, and ooey gooey nonsense, he unwraps his sandwich his mom packed for him and brightens up a little. Yes! Peanut butter. His favourite.

 

Kageyama looks kind of seasick.

 

Hinata peers at him behind his sandwich, with curiosity. He feels a little self-concious, to be serious, because what are you supposed to think when your best friend starts looking at you all funny? Maybe he's done something wrong?

 

"Kageyama-kun-" He takes a bite of his pb&j and looks Kageyama straight in the eyes, "-what do you think of me?"

 

Kageyama chokes on his curry.

 

Like, really chokes. Spitting and coughing and everything. Hinata has to rush and give him a few tough smacks on the back before he can actually respond to Hinata.

 

"I...think..you..what?" Kageyama looks dumbfounded.

 

"Uh-hh-hhh, like, um, what feelings do I give off to you? I guess? You've been acting really fucking weird since the last few weeks and it's freaking me out. Did I do something wrong? Did I say something shitty? Do you hate me now? Kageyama? Hello?"

 

"N-no. ... No. . No. No." Kageyama seems far away, and looks a little bit embarrassed. This wasn't how he expected to spend his lunch. He takes in a deep breath. "No.. Not that. Not the bit about hating you."

 

"So you don't hate me?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"And you don't think I did something shitty?"

 

"Y-Yeah."

 

"What about not trusting me?" Kageyama is caught a little off-guard by that question. He stares down at his shoes, and stays quiet.

 

"Kageyama.."

 

He gulps.

 

"You know we're teamates, right? And best friends? And-" Hinata inches dangerously close to him "-you can tell me anything. Anything! Even if it's about your earwax, or stinky sneakers, or secret body pillow fetish, or whatever! I care for you! I'm here! I want to listen! and-"

 

God. Kageyama is in deep shit. He's really in for it now. Oh boy.

 

"-I really like you? A lot? So."

 

Kageyama knows Hinata likely doesn't mean what he wants it to mean, but he flushes anyways. He's dead. He is so dead. He can't even look Hinata in the eye.

 

Hinata does not take no notice to the beet-red Kageyama beside him. It stays like this for a few minutes; Hinata thinking, and Kageyama emitting 10 different designer shades of magenta. Jeez, he's blushing, Hinata thinks, that's really cute, and then he finally Gets It.

 

Kageyama likes Hinata. Kageyama like-likes Hinata.

 

He doesn't know how he didn't think of it earlier. It all adds up; the flinching, the hiding, the staring, and the blushing - it all makes perfect sense. And really, could Hinata honestly say he doesn't reciprocate?

 

He decides, maybe instead of acting all sappy and melodramatic like one of the guys in those trashy mangas his sister sometimes forces him to read, he could try a different, more entertaining approach; teasing Kageyama into admitting his (now obvious, considering how blubbery and soft he looks at the moment) feelings for Hinata.

 

Scratch that; he wants to try something different.

 

Once Kageyama's settled down a bit, he makes his move. "Kageyama-kun?" he calls out, "Wanna see somethin' real neat?"

 

It's stupid, he knows, but it might just work.

 

Kageyama still looks like he's having a mid-life crisis, but he stops poking the scabs on his arm, which is much better. He turns around and makes actual eye contact with Hinata.

 

"Yeah."

 

Hinata is ready. Hinata is so ready. He's never kissed anyone before in his life, but hey, doesn't stop him from trying, at least. He's a bit proud of himself too, for taking the inicitive; with his height, he never thought to ever be the one to take the lead.

 

He swallows deep, looks Kageyama right in the eyes, and, making sure he wasn't uncomfortable with what was happening, presses his lips gently against the other's.

 

And then: he's kissing him.

 

It's great, actually; for the first twenty seconds.

 

Then he pulls back, and oh. Oh. Oh! Kageyama's, uh, entire face is red. And puffy. And shit, are those rashes?

 

Kageyama does not look happy, he is not singing, and he certainly does not glow like a shoujo manga heroine does after her first kiss.

 

"Hinata! You foolish dragon motherfucker!"

 

He's pissed at him? Hinata goes from slightly amused to completely worried. He thought Kageyama was as cool as a cucumber with him kissing him, but maybe not?

 

"Was..Was I not okay?"

 

"What? No! Asshole, that was amazing!" Kageyama spits out.

 

"Then..?"

 

"Then what!"

 

"Then what's wrong?!"

 

"Hinata." Kageyama turns to face Hinata again, and he looks Very, Very Serious,

 

 

 

"I'm allergic to peanuts."

Notes:

haha sike

uhhhhhh this probably wasnt exactly what you were expecting (i wasnt expecting this, either) . yeah im the kind of superfreak who writes authors notes and descriptions before, ahaha, actually writing the shit.

ϵ( 'Θ' )϶ please give me feedback! im a widdle baby. teach me .i wrote this all in one sitting really editing or fixing or anything so if you see a mistake gimme a heads up or somthing.

love ya bunches